August 2008

how to find out if your prospective manager sucks or not

August 30, 2008

In the comment section of my recent post on managers who won’t manage, a reader asked: What can you ask in job interviews to find out if your prospective manager is someone who can’t or won’t manage?

Such a good question, and possibly one of the most important things you can ask in an interview. Here are some ideas of the types of questions that can help you get a sense of how effective the manager is.

* “How will the success of the person in this position be measured?”
* “What are some of the obstacles the department is currently facing and how are you addressing them?”
* “How would you describe the bar for performance here?”
* “Having seen the impact it can have on the rest of the team when someone isn’t meeting expectations, can you tell me a bit about how you approach it when someone is falling short of that bar?”
* “How would you and other people who work here describe the culture?” (Listen to references to high standards and a constant striving for excellence.)
* “What are some examples of how that plays out?”
* “What kind of person wouldn’t fit in here?”
* “Working from the assumption that everyone has things they’d like to tweak about their manager, what do you think the biggest thing is that the people you manage would like to change about you?”
* “As hard as it is, I think it’s important for managers to transition people out if they’re not the right fit. When is the last time the department fired someone for performance-related reasons?” (Yes, this last one takes balls. But if you set it up right, they’ll get why you’re asking. Just be sure not to seem arrogant or obsessively focused on this in a crazy way.)

Additionally, pay attention to your interactions with other people you come into contact with who work under the manager. Are you impressed with the caliber of those staff? Do people seem happy, motivated, efficient?

Those are some thoughts to start with. What does everyone else think?

{ 4 comments }

Posted in interviewing

will attitude affect references?

August 30, 2008

A reader writes:

Since I graduated University six years ago, I have worked for a large health care organization in several different roles. Shortly after I started the job that I am currently in, I experienced several major upheavals in my life during a very short time frame. I am not using these events as an excuse, but merely to illustrate the progression of events to present day.

As the months have gone by, I have become increasingly depressed and resentful, in part due to these events and in part due to complete job dissatisfaction and unhappiness. The field I am in (administrative assistant) is not one that I ever wanted to be in. Not that there is anything wrong with this type of job, but I have a University degree and it was never my intention to spend my working life making coffee and recording minutes. Recently, the department I am in experienced a massive internal reorganization, and I was re-assigned to a new area in the same department. All of the above combined has resulted in a severe impact on my mood, and it has unfortunately started to come across in my behavior. I do not bring my home life to work, but there are days when it is impossible to just switch off and not think about anything other than my job, and so as a result I am not as “smiley” and happy as I once was. I am good at what I do; I am efficient, highly organized, responsible, and a hard worker. All of these traits and qualities are ones that have been recognized in prior performance reviews or have even been said directly to me; I am not just trying to make myself sound good. However, I smile very infrequently now, since I am not happy. I am polite – it is not in me to be rude, but I am not happy, and it is quite apparent.

My dilemma is this: I am looking for another job, closer to home, in a different field, and one that I am hoping will make me feel more engaged and fulfilled. Shortly after the internal reorganization, my new supervisor came to me and indicated that while I do good work, people have come to him expressing concerns about my attitude. As I indicated earlier, I am polite. I complete my work on time or early, efficiently, and correctly. But it seems that because I am not as willing to join people for lunch anymore, or to smile as much, that this is being held against me. I was told repeatedly during the conversation that I needed to change my attitude. This too I confess I started to resent, because I understood what my supervisor was saying the first time, and did not feel that he needed to reiterate the same point an additional four times.

Putting aside all the other questions I have, my main concern at this point is what kind of a reference I am going to get. In point of fact, I do not want to list anyone I currently work with as a reference, as I am concerned that they will highlight my short-term unhappiness to the detriment of mentioning all the good qualities that I possess. I have had experience working in human resources, and first-hand experience in interviewing people and performing reference checks, and yet I do not know how to handle the situation I am in. I know that not putting my current supervisor on my list of references can raise a red flag. In addition, I do not want my current employer to know that I am looking, since if he is called and I do not get an offer, I then have to continue working for someone who now knows that I am looking for other work. I do have other references from previous jobs, but the most recent of those is getting on for two years old, and most prospective employers want to speak with someone who has had more recent knowledge of my skills and abilities.

I have been doing some research about what employers can and cannot say about past employees, and frankly I am worried that because of the above circumstances, and my work colleague’s interpretation of my attitude, that it is going to negatively impact my chances of getting a new job. I know employers cannot say anything that comes across as specifically malicious, but I feel that there is a very fine line between what a prospective employer needs to know and what is just unnecessarily malicious.

Any suggestions that you have would be most appreciated, as I am feeling very conflicted. The job environment I am in right now is not one where I can thrive, and I am more and more worried that my chances of getting a job which allows me to be happier will not be possible, all because of a few months that are now being held against me as my overall “attitude.”

Oh, there’s so much here. Let’s see:

1. I suspect your resentment is showing in more ways than just not smiling and not going to lunch. If you’re that unhappy at having to be there, it’s showing, believe me.

2. Being resentful penalizes you in several different ways — not only does it make you unhappy (which is bad enough on its own), but it actually may be standing in the way of your ability to take action to change the very thing you’re unhappy with (your career) if you’re concerned about its impact on your references. Double penalty, and in both cases, it harms no one but you. Drop the resentment. Focus on the fact that you’re now taking action to do something different. Generally speaking, you have more power than you realize over your responses and emotions and can make the mental shift if motivated to it.

Unless you’re depressed, which brings us to…

3. Tell your manager that you’ve had some things going on in your personal life that are taking a toll on you. You don’t need to be specific, but I think it will help things to explain that there’s a non-work-related reason for your recent attitude. If he’s not a jerk, he’s likely to soften his assessment once he knows that.

4. You were irritated that your manager repeated the same message to you several times, when you got it the first time. Often when people do this, it’s because the employee isn’t showing any indication that she’s getting the message. You need to respond in a way that acknowledges what’s being said and indicates what you plan to do in response. For instance: “I appreciate you telling me this. Some events in my personal life have affected my mood, and I didn’t realize it was so apparent. I probably won’t be going to lunch with people much because I’m not feeling very social lately, but I’ll try to make sure it doesn’t impact my other interactions with people.”

5. Now, on to your actual questions. It’s very normal when job-searching to request that prospective employers not contact your current employer, since most people don’t want their employer to know they’re looking. Some interviewers will be content with only contacting references from prior jobs. Others may ask to speak to your current employer, but it’s completely fine (and normal) to ask them to wait to do that until they’re ready to make you an offer.

6. You say, “I feel that there is a very fine line between what a prospective employer needs to know and what is just unnecessarily malicious.” It’s not malicious for an employer to talk about an employee’s attitude and many reference-checkers will ask about that sort of thing. Reference checks are about more than how the person performed the duties of the job; they’re also often about people skills, and this is legitimate.

So I think your best bet is to just address it head-on: If you’re about to get an offer and they want to talk to your current employer (which they may not even ask to do, if you provide them with lots of other references from before

this job), mention that you had some personal upheaval in the last year and you weren’t as cheery as you normally are, and you know they noticed — so that the reference-checker is prepared to hear that and has some context if it comes up.

That’s really all you can do — the facts are what they are, and now it’s just a matter of providing context for them. Unless your attitude was far more horrid than your letter makes clear, my hunch is that it probably won’t stand in your way. However, you should pledge to yourself that you’ll never let your attitude at work get to that point again, because as you’re seeing now, it ends up affecting you in the end. Good luck!

{ 6 comments }

Posted in job searching, references

when your manager won’t manage

August 29, 2008

A reader writes:

I work in a cultural/academic/non-profit institution, and am part of a professional community small enough that I don’t wish to identify it, lest one of my colleagues identify *me*.

I should say that I love what I do for a living. It’s a calling, I spent a lot of time in graduate school preparing for it. Some days, I really couldn’t be happier.

Those are the days when my boss and most of the other people who “work” with me are not here.

There are really more personnel problems than I can reasonably describe, but I’ll give you the Top 4:

1) My boss allows an unqualified volunteer to perform a skilled, essential function that he is profoundly unfit to perform. Said volunteer is also inappropriate, indecorous, insubordinate and all-around annoying. He argues with us when we assign him tasks, he comes in earlier and stays later than allowed, wanders the building bothering people, and generally behaves like an unsupervised child. I have repeatedly approached my boss about all of the above issues, and while he agrees with me, he WILL NOT discipline or replace this person. My attempts to correct his behavior are ignored.

2) Another volunteer (also profoundly unqualified for his duties) is incredibly rude to me, and has made sexist, racist, and all-around inappropriate statements to me, to my boss, and to coworkers. I have documented such statements, and have had 4 meetings will my boss about this individual. My boss even agreed with me that this person should be terminated’then I went on vacation. When I came back, he was here, and here he remains.

3) A member of the paraprofessional staff is insane. She does no work, and is so horrible that she actually drove away her gifted and qualified supervisor. Despite no specialized training in our field (and a part-time paraprofessional position), she feels she is entitled to order around/abuse the professional staff, and she refuses to learn simple tasks like changing toner in the photocopier (and I mean REFUSES. As in “I will not learn how to do that, so stop trying to teach me.”). She’s also a classic whiner who complains about problems, but refuses to do anything to solve them, even when given tools and support. She’s worked here over 20 years.

4) The boss will not deal with any of this. It’s almost like these people have something incriminating on him, the way he lets them get away with murder.

I love the people I serve, and the one employee I supervise. But I feel trapped. I can’t absorb Problem #1′s duties, since we’re already so understaffed. I feel I’ve done everything right with Problem #2, but to no avail. I wait anxiously for Problem #3 to retire. I pray Problem #4 wins the lottery and retires in Tahiti.

For my long-range career plans, this job is perfect, but the people are making me homicidal.

Thanks…just the venting feels good at this point. Keep up the good work!

You don’t have four problems. You have one big problem: your boss.

You can try to reason with him and plead and use logic, but ultimately there is only one thing that solves the problem of working under a boss who is afraid to take action. I’m sorry to say that it’s this: Leave, and go to work for a boss who is willing to do his or her job.

I know that’s not an easy solution. But in my experience, it is the only long-term solution.

Your manager is profoundly flawed, in a way that nothing you do can fix. He is allowing his desire to be nice and avoid unpopular/difficult decisions to trump his fundamental obligations as a manager — obligations like holding the bar high and expecting people to adhere to it, warning them when they’re falling short, and taking action when warnings don’t work.

And what is happening to you now is the irony that all such wimpy managers spawn: In their quest to be liked, the opposite happens. Because problems go unresolved, good employees get frustrated and end up hating them.

Are there short-term solutions? Maybe. Depending on your relationship with your boss, you may be able to badger or cajole him into taking action on some of this, or to give you the authority to handle it. Or you may be able to find discreet ways to go over his head to bring the problem to his boss — but if he’s being permitted to get away with this basic abdication of his duties, chances are good that the boss above him is the same flawed type.

But in the long-term, absent a boss who will make him do his job (likely having to push him through it every step of the way), this stuff isn’t going to change. You have a boss who isn’t interested in or willing to do his job. To have long-term happiness, you’re going to need to find one who is.

All that said, there is one good thing about a boss like this: They provide inspiration for the rest of us, as a model of what not to do. I worked for a boss like this early on in my career, and I ultimately quit over it. It’s no exaggeration to say that having worked under someone like that has formed the foundation of my own management philosophy and approach. Now that I manage other managers, I make sure none of them do this to their people — we say the hard things, have the uncomfortable conversations, and take the difficult actions. And I’m convinced everyone — even the people on the receiving end of those tough conversations — is better off for it.

So admittedly, your letter tapped into a major obsession for me. And perhaps others would tell you to stick it out, let it roll off your back, blah blah. And that’s certainly an option. But if you find yourself a manager willing to manage, the impact on your quality of life can’t be overstated.

{ 10 comments }

Posted in advice about your boss, good management

coded HR language?

August 29, 2008

A reader writes:

I have been in the search for a job for the past 9 months. I have had interviews and I have successfully been able to get my resume in front of hiring managers. As with any job search I have also received my share of rejections. I have noticed in a number of the rejections a phrase “while your qualifications are impressive.” I am wondering is this some subtle HR phrase with a message? Is it because they do the math and realize I am a mature candidate, or do they think with my background experience they cannot afford me, or am I reading too much into this?

You are reading too much into it. I say that phrase to everyone we reject, even if they’re straight out of high school and have no qualifications whatsoever. It’s just standard boilerplate for trying to soften the blow of a rejection.

{ 3 comments }

Posted in rejections

chutzpah of the entitled

August 26, 2008

Liz Handlin has a great post up about the chutzpah of people who take advantage of the time and expertise of people in their network (or even people not in their network) and don’t bother to express any sort of appreciation.

This resonated with me because of some irritating experiences I’ve had lately. Here’s the thing: I do this blog for free, on my own time, because (a) I have an apparently pathological need to share my opinion, and (b) it’s incredibly gratifying to help people figure out how to navigate the sorts of sticky situations we talk about here. Sometimes people write back to thank me for the help, or to let me know how their situation turned out, and I love love love that. It feels awesome.

Here is what does not feel awesome: When I spend the time to send someone a private response not intended for publication (sometimes an immediate one, because their situation is time-sensitive), or when I spend not insignificant time giving them feedback on their resume or cover letter, and I hear … nothing in response. Literally nothing. It’s rude. And it’s bizarrely common. (And it is not smart; I will go way out of my way for you if you express appreciation, so you should at least be machiavellian about it, if for no other reason.)

So go read Liz’s rant and make sure you are never, ever doing the sort of thing she describes.

{ 9 comments }

Posted in Uncategorized

why “Sexy Mama” won’t get hired

August 25, 2008

Last week, I received a resume from “Sexy Mama.” As in, that was the name that displayed in the “from” field of her email.

Over at U.S. News & World Report today, I talk about six reasons a resume might go straight into my trash can. “Sexy Mama” is one of them.

Please check it out, and as always, I’d love your feedback in the comments over there!

{ 2 comments }

Posted in job searching

do employers look at every applicant?

August 25, 2008

A reader writes:

After realizing that some employers receive hundreds of online applicants, I get the feeling that many of the employers are not even opening my e-mails.  Do employers look at every e-mail applicant?  How can I grab their attention in a subject line?

It depends on the employer. I look at every resume (granted, some only for 10 seconds, but that’s because it doesn’t take long to know they’re not the right match), and I keep looking at them all until I’ve made an offer and it’s been accepted. Other employers stop looking after they have a certain number of strong candidates. Some (generally large) employers use computerized programs that scan resumes for key words, and then send those (and only those) on to a human to review.

I wouldn’t try to go for an overly creative email subject line — I’m not a fan of subject lines that sound too much like a sales pitch. In fact, the only time an applicant’s email subject line has ever swayed me one way or another is when it’s when it’s made a negative impression; I think something simple, like the name of the position, is best.

But others may feel differently, so bring it on in the comments!

{ 4 comments }

Posted in job searching

abusive interviewer extends job offer

August 23, 2008

This letter from a reader is long but worth it:

My career experience has mostly been in the military, but I have recently completed a college degree in physics with a minor in education after stopping work to stay at home with my daughter. Currently, I am working as a high school science teacher, but I’m not happy with this career. Over the past 6 months, I have been sending out my resume to companies that are hiring entry level engineers.

I’ve been looking to make sense of what happened during a recent interview that resulted in a job offer. I submitted my resume and went through a large company’s application process to end up with an in-person interview, which was great. After the 10 minute interview with the HR director, who told me that I would interview with two supervisors in the department who were looking to fill four different jobs at varying levels, I was picked up by one of the department supervisors I was to interview with (I’ll call him Joe), and we went for a 50 minute tour of the workplace. During the tour, Joe was asking interview questions, and he seemed like a knowledgeable and reasonable person to work for. I really liked Joe. We discussed the positions he had to offer and how those positions related to my experiences and education. Although Joe’s job openings were entry level engineering and below, I was still interested in accepting one of those positions if they were offered. After all, I am looking to change careers, and I’m expecting to pay my dues to make this happen.

Next, Joe told me that we would meet with the supervisor (we’ll call him Jerry), who had a higher level engineering position open. After arriving at Jerry’s office, Jerry began to interview me. During the interview, Jerry asked me what sort of job I am looking for. Upon hearing my answer, he told me that his job opening is not for me. Jerry went further by stating that he really didn’t understand why I had applied for a position in that department because none of their work had anything to do with my background or education. At first, I thought Jerry was just asking the question to see if I could relate their work to my experience and education, which is quite straightforward. I have no problem relating my experience and physics education to the type of engineering practiced in that department, so I politely told Jerry how I felt my experience and background fit with that department’s mission and work. Upon hearing this, Jerry told me that he took a physics class once and failed, so he didn’t see how physics had anything to do with engineering. I explained where I felt physics and engineering meet and how an education and laboratory research experience in physics has helped develop my critical thinking and problem solving skills regardless of the problem set before me. Jerry continued with his mantra that physics has nothing to do with engineering and this is not the job for me.

As Jerry wrapped up his end of the interview, he commented about my current job as a teacher. He told me that his wife is a teacher, and only lazy people teach. I had to work hard to keep my jaw from hitting the floor on that comment. Jerry said that his wife only teaches because she has the summer off, and that certainly would not happen in this company. I told Jerry that I am well aware that the rest of the work force does not have the summer off or even more than one week of vacation for most people. Again, Jerry simply responded by telling me that the job is not for me.

The interview ended with Jerry asking me if I would rather work for him or Joe. There was no way I was touching that one with a ten foot pole, but I did have to say something. If I told Jerry that I would rather stick with a job I can’t stand than work for him, then I would have disqualified myself from all four job openings. Jerry, Joe, and the employees they supervise work on the same floor of the same small building, so I would have to see Jerry and work around him daily. I concluded by stating that I felt that I could work with either of them because I enjoy working with and get along with others. When problem solving, another person’s perspective can stimulate new and interesting solutions. I really expected Jerry to tell me that the job is not for me one more time just to jam his point across.

One month later, I received a call from HR offering me an engineering position for quite a bit more money than I expected. This was two weeks after Jerry had claimed he wanted his new employee to start. Not even thinking about the possibility that I was being offered the job with Jerry, I verbally accepted the job offer. I was told that I still had to electronically sign the contract after reviewing the terms of employment. While sitting at the computer reading through the contract, it occurred to me that I might actually end up working for Jerry. I called HR back to inquire as to who was to be my supervisor. To my dread, she said Jerry. I confessed to the HR rep that, although I was grateful and excited about the job offer, I did not understand why Jerry wanted to hire me because he told me that this job was not for me. Sally, the HR rep, proceeded to tell me how I qualified for the job because of my physics degree and that Joe thought my military electronics experience made me a perfect candidate for the job. She said nothing about why Jerry wanted to hire me. I questioned her about what Jerry thought because he really seemed to discourage me from proceeding through the employment screening process. She told me that she would ask Jerry and get back to me, but she did not. I even told her that I was on a time budget because the school was gearing up to present us with the next year’s teaching contracts. I really didn’t want to put my principal in the position of signing my contract and breaking it soon after. I like my current supervisor. I just don’t like my current career. I waited for one week, and my teaching contract for the next year was presented to me.

Having a definite job and only having a job offer that was not even through the screening process helped me choose to sign my teaching contract and decline the engineering job offer in writing. During the week that I waited for Sally to get back with me, I emailed and called her to inquire about the answer from Jerry and reiterated that my deadline for signing my teaching contract was rapidly approaching. The day after I declined the engineering offer, Sally from HR called and stated how Joe, not Jerry my prospective supervisor, thought I was perfect for the job. Sally said nothing about Jerry.

I am completely confused about how I was offered a job with Jerry in the first place. He made a point of telling me at least a dozen times that the job was not for me. I was certain that my interview with Jerry would not result in a job offer, at least not a job offer to work for Jerry. He told me that I am lazy. At one point, Jerry even asked me if I was dumb. How did those comments from him end up as a job offer one month later?

Secondly, I am not sure if I have burned my bridge with HR in this company. Sally from HR sounded really upset when she called and left her message after I declined the position. I haven’t heard from her since. Although I would never attempt to apply for another job with the same department in that company, I am interested in applying for engineering positions in other departments in the company. I was impressed with the company overall, and my college thesis laboratory research is directly related to work this company does. Would I just end up sending my resume
to a black hole and wasting my efforts?

Jerry is one or both of the following:
1. a jerk
2. someone who believes in stress interviews

I tend to believe that #2 is often a subset of #1. A “stress interview” is where the interviewer deliberately acts uninterested or even hostile in order to find out how the candidate responds to stressful situations. Whether they should be used at all is up for debate, but if they are, they should only be used where it’s relevant to the job at stake — litigator, say, or air traffic controller. I don’t believe in them at all, since I think there are other ways for a good interviewer to find out how a candidate handles stress, and they don’t exactly do a lot to sell good candidates on the job.

To answer your first question, about how someone so rude to you ended up making you a job offer: If it was a stress interview, you apparently passed it. If Jerry is just a jerk, he likely treats lots of people this way and his treatment of you didn’t have much connection to his actual opinion of your qualifications. Or Jerry hates everyone, but Joe pushed for you to be hired.

Regarding whether you have a chance with this company in the future, I think you certainly could, but you need to explain to Sally why you turned down the offer. Tell her that you got the strong sense in the interview that you and Jerry had very different communication styles and since Jerry told you multiple times that you weren’t right for the job, you didn’t think an offer to work with him was the right one for you. Explain, however, that you felt you clicked with Joe, that you are impressed with the company, and that you’d love the opportunity to work with them in the future.

Thoughts from anyone else?

{ 12 comments }

Posted in bad interviewer behavior, interviewing, jerks, job offers

lying in an interview – should you be concerned?

August 21, 2008

A reader writes:

I recently left my job. Management was unethical and abusive, so I decided to concentrate on my job search full time. Despite the negative environment, I left courteously, giving 2 weeks notice and helping to tie up loose ends.

I am now under consideration for a great job, but I have a problem – I fibbed on my resume and said I was still employed there. I know this is wrong, but I’ve found I’m more desirable as a candidate if I am still employed. In the past, when I’ve been unemployed, I couldn’t get an interview, because I assume the prospective employers saw me as “desperate.” I cannot risk that in this economy.

I assumed that any prospective employer would not contact my current employer, but I am still concerned that they will find out when they ask me for my references. If it helps, I have 2 references from this former job that can vouch for me (they were senior to me on my team) and I have an excellent (honest) record for the rest of my history. Unfortunately, the HR assistant asked for my “current” supervisor’s name during the first interview. I was honest with the sales director about my supervisor being abusive and it not being a good idea to contact him (I also told him I can provide another reference at the company). I’m still concerned that HR is going to call my supervisor and find out I resigned 2 months ago. Should I be concerned?

Uh, yes.

I think you might not be looking at this clearly. Let’s put this a little more starkly. The facts are these:
- You left your job for a reasonable reason.
- You lied on your resume, and you believe this is justified because it would make you look better to employers.
- You lied again in the interview.
- Your lie is one that is easily discovered in the course of a routine reference check.

I’m sorry to pile on when you’re in a bad situation, but of course you should be concerned.

If you had just written “2002 – present” on your resume, you could pass this off as an oversight, something you forgot to update before sending out your resume. (Sketchy, but you might be able to get away with it.)

But because you lied in the interview, saying you were at a job you actually left two months ago, it’s clear that you deliberately tried to mislead them. Lying in a job interview is a deal-breaker, because of what it says about your integrity. (Speaking of integrity, you don’t even seem to regret the lie, only that you might get caught.)

Accept that you’re probably not going to get this job and move on. Correct your resume before you send it out again. Whatever your concerns about how it might look that you’re unemployed, they’re trumped by how it looks when a prospective employer finds out that you’re someone willing to lie.

{ 12 comments }

Posted in interviewing

telling your boss about a slacker coworker

August 19, 2008

A reader writes:

How do you express concerns about a slacking co-worker to your boss without coming out sounding like a jerk? There is a co-worker in our office who can work hard when they want to, but also likes to spend quite a bit of time visiting with other employees. This same person expects others on the team to “offer” to help with work not finished. In trying to gently point out that if less time was spent visiting and more time working, then maybe help wouldn’t need to be offered, the silent treatment is given and makes for an uncomfortable work environment. This person is also extremely critical of what is perceived as others’ mistakes or not following through on an issue, and is almost always guilty of the same thing. Now this person wants to re-arrange some of the work assignments so their work load will be lightened, but I have a problem with that when if more time was spent working and less time visiting there wouldn’t be a need to re-arrange.

First, excellent job in not giving away the slacker’s gender. However, for ease of discussion, I’m going to decide he’s male and refer to him as such. No slight intended to the men.

Okay, I’m going to break this down into two questions: how to deal with his attempt to push his work onto you, and how/whether to talk to your manager about him.

1. In dealing with his attempt to get others to help him finish his work because he wasted time goofing off, just politely refuse. Be nice about it and don’t try to teach him a lesson by explaining that he created his own situation, but simply don’t let him pressure you into doing it. Sample refusals: “I’m sorry but I’m slammed with deadlines.” “Wish I could help but I’ve got my hands full.” And so forth. By not helping him cover up the results of his slacking, you’ll make it easier for your manager to spot what’s going on.

And along similar lines, who are these employees the slacker is spending so much time visiting with? If they have the same objections you do, can you get them to stop enabling him? Ideally, when he stops by to chat, they’d be too busy to talk.

2. On the question of how to talk to your boss: Some of this depends on your relationship with your boss and what she’s like. (Yes, I’m assigning genders at random.) If you have a good relationship with her and she’s known to value directness over protocol, I’d just tell her straight out: “Hey, I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to raise this, but I’m concerned about how often Bob tries to get me to take on his work. I’m happy to help when it’s needed, but I see him chronically spending an enormous amount of time socializing rather than working, and I feel like he wouldn’t need my help if he focused on work more. Can you give me advice about how to handle this?”

Notice that this is couched in terms of asking for her advice on how you should handle it, rather than you dumping it in her lap to handle. If she’s a good boss, she’s going to handle it herself anyway — hopefully by paying more attention to how Bob is spending his time and addressing it with him if she sees that there’s an issue. But by asking her advice, you make it less about “tattling” and more about seeking her guidance.

Of course, there’s still an element of tattling in it. But tattling shouldn’t always get a bad rap — there are some things you should tell your manager about. Even the most perceptive manager won’t see everything that goes on, and when someone is taking advantage of that, it’s nice to be clued in.

Not every manager agrees with me on this, but personally, I appreciate it when a good employee gives me a discreet heads-up about something I might not have known about on my own. Of course, they need to realize that my take on it might differ from theirs, but as long as they’re okay with that, I’m always grateful to be filled in on something that might be a problem.

Good luck, and please let us know how it goes.

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Posted in advice about your boss, advice about your coworkers

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