I have a feeling this one is going to generate disagreement. A reader writes:
I recently accepted an offer with an organization and started this past week. Four days into it, another potential employer I’d interviewed with once (at the same time I interviewed for my new job) has asked me to talk with them a second time. While I like the job I just started (and the employer), I would love the other position more – it feels more closely aligned with my interests and values, and it is 20 miles closer to home. Both jobs pay the same salary. Any advice as to how to handle such a situation?
There are very few cases where I’d advise even considering taking a different job right after starting a new one, because doing so can harm your employer, your reputation, and even other job-seekers.
Let’s start with the damage to your own reputation: Anyone who hears about this isn’t going to rely on your word in these sorts of matters again; you’ll be known as someone who cuts and runs. And people have a way of popping up again at other companies you may want to work for. Imagine that you really want a job offer in the future, and one of the decision-makers is someone who used to work for this employer. “Joe took a job with Acme but left for a different offer a week into the job” are not words you want spoken about you when you’re interviewing.
Now let’s talk about other job-seekers. Some of your fellow job searchers really wanted that job, but didn’t get it because you gave your word that you’d take it. And it’s not as easy as the company now going back to them, because some of them have since moved on to other things. (This is the same reason that it frustrates me when someone accepts an interview for a job they have no intention of ever accepting; that’s an interview slot that could have gone to someone genuinely excited about the job but who got a rejection letter instead.)
And now, most controversially, let’s talk about the impact on your employer. After you made a commitment to them, they took you at your word. They invested time and money in preparing for you and training you. They’ve planned work around the assumption that you’ll be there. And they’ve turned loose their other candidates. They’ll probably need to start the hiring process all over again with those back-up candidates gone, which means losing more time and more money, plus the opportunity cost of having the position open far longer.
At a large company, maybe this is easily absorbed. But I can tell you from seeing it firsthand that at smaller organizations, it causes real harm, so I strongly recommend factoring in the size of the organization.
The reason I called this controversial is that that I know there are a lot of people out there who say, “The company wouldn’t hesitate to cut you loose if they needed to, so you don’t owe them anything.” The thing is, though, this isn’t really true. The reverse of your situation happens all the time: An employer hires someone for a job and then, a few days later, a resume comes in from someone who looks even better qualified for that position. They don’t (usually) rescind the job offer and say “sorry, someone better came along.” They (usually) say “damn, maybe next time” or “I wonder how else I could use this late-breaking applicant.” (There are exceptions to every rule, of course, and I don’t doubt that some employer out there has handled this badly. But the majority don’t.)
That said, it’s true that companies make decisions based on their own best interests, and so it’s reasonable that you should make decisions based on yours. But getting a reputation as someone who doesn’t keep commitments and who leaves a job after a week isn’t exactly in your interests. (Just as it’s not in an employer’s interests to get a reputation as a company that terminates people in anything other than a thoughtful, fair, and compassionate manner.)
Now, with that lecture behind us, there are a very limited number of situations where you can make a better case for what you’re considering:
* The other job is your dream job, an opportunity you may never get again, and the first job is just something to pay the bills.
* You realized very quickly at the new job that there is something profoundly wrong with it — the boss or culture is a nightmare, the job description is totally different from what you were told you’d be doing, etc.
* Your financial situation changed unexpectedly (family health crisis, spouse lost his/her job, etc.) and the other job pays dramatically more.
But it doesn’t sound like your situation fits this category: You like the job you just accepted. You knew what the job was and that you were getting a long commute when you accepted it. You knew it was possible that some of the other companies you’d applied to could still contact you, but when you accept a job, you are saying “I am going to stop considering other jobs for a while now.” It’s hard to make an ethical argument for backing out at this point.
I’m bracing myself for wild disagreement in the comments, though, so bring it on…
{ 144 comments… read them below or add one }
I'm sure people will disagree but I agree and here's why:
I applied to the usual ton of places while looking for my current job. When I actually took my current job, I made a point of calling or emailing the places where the hiring process was still in process to say that I had taken a job, please withdraw my name from consideration and good luck in your search.
I was surprised at how many places replied (just about all of them) to say they appreciated my letting them know and wishing me luck with my new job. I hadn't heard from most of these places before as it was still early in the hiring process – so this obviously caught their attention.
It's been more than 5 years now and I get job offers from these other places on occasion – before the postings go public. It seems that they remember that I was considerate of my current employer.
I agree with your advice, too, because it's happened to me. The amount of stress it caused, with us rushing around to fill a post on a project, our clients breathing down our neck, and the risk of having to put back our starting date…
You're right to point out that it looks unprofessional and can seriously harm your chances of getting future opportunities. The person who put us in such a difficult position went on an unofficial blacklist.
As GeekChic says, being upfront with the companies you're talking with gains you long-term kudos and enhances your reputation as a serious professional.
For the person asking the question it is one of ethical behavior. While the majority of companies over the past ten years have definitely moved in a “me” direction, the workforce has done the same thing. If the questioner had been working for the company for six months or more I would say do what is right for you and your family. While I have, in the distant past, believed that loyalty meant something, I now believe that one’s family always comes first, regardless of a company’s desires. For the most part, two-way loyalty has become a thing of the past.
I agree with Alison’s assessment in this case. It would be completely unethical if the questioner was to take another position after only such a short period with a new company. Whether or not the person’s reputation would be tarnished is up for debate. I have certainly been in a management position when this very scenario has played out. While my decision to hire a particular candidate was negated by them not showing up for work, for calling to say they have accepted another position after accepting my offer, or for leaving after a very short period of time my mindset at the time was positive.
I looked at this as a good thing, as I would not have spent time and energy into training and acclimating them to the company and/or clients.
In this case, if the questioner takes the second company’s offer, they will save their current company time, energy, and money. While I as the hiring manager would have to regroup, with the time being so short from the on-boarding I might have a chance at having one of by backup candidates still available and interested in joining my team.
In any event, I would not have someone on my team that would be looking to jump at the next opportunity.
This almost happened with me last year, but the later position never panned anyway.
However, I'm surprised no one picked up on this statement: "Four days into it, another potential employer I'd interviewed with once (at the same time I interviewed for my new job) has asked me to talk with them a second time. While I like the job I just started (and the employer), I would love the other position more…"
The second job offer hasn't been placed on the table, according to the OP's words. S/he may not ever get the offer so s/he is jumping the gun on this situation. I have been on second round interviews before to not get the job.
This isn't an offer yet, it's just a talk. And as someone who's been looking for a job for over 4 years, I do a lot of talking and very little offer accepting. I agree and disagree. I agree that if it's a good job and there's nothing majorly wrong with it, then you should probably stick with it. (Though there's nothing wrong with talking) However, in the vein of the company doing what's best for it, that's true. And I don't mean to say that the company is going to get a better applicant and offer it to that person. But your manager could suddenly decide that they don't like the perfume you wear or give you some major project and let you mess it up, blame you for the whole thing, and fire you on the spot. And if that does happen they're not going to stop and think how this is going to inconvenience you, how it's going to affect their reputation, or how it affects the other job seekers they turned down. To sum it up, while I wouldn't necessarily accept jobs willy-nilly like this, I wouldn't rule out the possibility of it either.
All of this is helpful. Anonymous is right – there's no second job offer yet; however, they've asked for references so that's a "buy signal" in my experience. The hardest thing is being in this situation… for so long there was nothing – no bites, no response to resumes, etc. Then good things happen.
Perhaps it's best to remove myself from consideration for now… and hope that a similar "dream job" comes again down the road.
I'll see if anyone else weighs in on this…
For one job, I went through FIVE separate interview steps, including reference check, background checks, and at least 2 in-person interviews. It took almost 2 months, and I was rejected anyway. I don’t think it’s ever safe to assume that anything means an offer is coming, other than a signed offer in writing.
i'm glad you listed the exceptions! i started a job about 3 months ago, and i'm really looking to leave. all 3 of your exceptions are what has happened to me! i've been out of grad school over 10 years and i have never encountered a culture like this one. also very unsupportive of families. the founder/ED does not at all want what the job description said — he just wants an asst. then, too, he totally reneged on reimbursing my moving expenses (which came to almost $5k). with that hit i just cannot afford to work here. plus i think that kind of duplicity is so against my values and ethics that i have very little trust in the employer/employee relationship.
on a related note, how do you suggest one evaluate an organization's culture during the interview process??
I think this is one of those things you can do just once in your life. So you'd better be sure that this is the best time to play your hand.
And I agree with the others–this is just a POTENTIAL job. Asking for references is a good indicator that a job offer is forthcoming, but you don't know that the offer will be a good one. Don't put the cart before the horse, wait until there is an offer in hand. THEN decide if this is the one time to cut and run.
I mostly agree with AAM, though I think the asker should focus on the cost/benefit to him/herself, and the potential negative reputation that this might carry, especially if you are in an industry/sector with a limited community. Also, in the current economy, the likelihood of the runner(s)-up being already employed is lessened, and so the position can probably be refilled with relative ease.
One big caveat though: if the current employer has you on a "probationary period," implying (or specifying) that they could/would terminate the relationship easily for some specific period of time without their usual progressive discipline or severance practices, then I firmly believe that such a probationary period is a two-way street, and you're free to go. I remember a job early in my career where the probationary period was explicitly introduced as a time "when either of us can sever the relationship easily." And another time, a new colleague at a restaurant job left for a better-paying gig, and the manager was grumpy that she hadn't given notice – I pointed out that she was in her probationary period, and had every right to leave without notice, which mollified the manager somewhat.
I don't see a problem with it. I have had candidates (that we offered but hadn't actually started yet) and new hires leave and seen other people think this is bad or unfair. I tell people to expect a higher level of turnover precisely because they were looking for jobs and the offers might not all come at the same time.
I do tend to take unconventional views. I like http://management.curiouscatblog.net/2008/05/25/paying-new-employees-to-quit/ Zappos paying new employees to quit more than the idea of intimidating employees to stay because it is unfair to leave.
The world isn't all perfectly fair, sometimes you lose for no good reason. It is annoying when a new hire leaves after you invest in getting them prepared to do their new job. But I don't see it any reason to worry about it a great deal or get upset at someone that decides to take a better opportunity.
Also if you do a great job of showing people how great it is to work at your place then they probably wouldn't leave. Focus on that, not being mad at them.
But yes, if you do this, some of the people at the company you leave will probably be mad.
AAM's advice is way off. My advice is to make sur you're comparing apples to apples first. That is look at benefit costs, retirement contributions, and the rest of your total compensation before deciding. Then, make it a point to meet your perspective team to make sure you're going to like them. If the other job is better then leave. And don't feel guilty if you leave. Unless this becomes a pattern it's highly unlikely your reputation will take a hit, except maybe at that one company. And if you're just truthful with them about why you're leaving they won't blame you for taking a better gig.
I co pletely agree
In the past I would have said that it is unethical to make a commitment and then walk away from it.
HOWEVER! Since I have been burnt by too many employers in the last few years (i.e., showing up for an interviewing only to be told that they just offered the job to another candidate because they "didn't want to get burnt." Taking a job that suddenly involves extensive travel when I was never told about any travel during the three interviews. Showing up for an interview where the interviewer makes remarks about my age, etc.) I say do whatever is best for yourself and your family.
No one will look out for you but you. Just be sure to do as AAM says – do it professionally.
P.S. GeekChic, I have actually called places to let them know that I am dropping out only to discover that they have already hired someone else! In over thirty years only one place has actually thanked me for letting them know.
I've been asked for references numerous times without getting an offer [hopefully it's not my references!]
I'd say only do it if it was a huge organization that does a "hiring class" method, that is, they hire a lot of people at the same time each year, to where one less person doesn't make that big of a difference. I don't think I would do it if I'm the only one they hired, no matter the size of the company. And understand I am usually one of those who says "Do what you gotta do" in a lot of these situations, but not this one.
Anon@9:40 re: evaluating company culture — sorry in advance for the long post:
When it gets to the part of the interview where it's your turn to ask questions, I always ask:
"What's your favorite thing about working here?"
The answer can speak volumes. So can the way the answer is delivered — red flags: thinking for more than a few seconds, giving a one-sentence answer, corporate-speak or similar BS, abrupt change in posture or facial expression or tone of voice.
Note also the differences in answers you get from different people. More than once, the hiring manager and/or the boss had enthusiastic and detailed answers, and the future coworkers not so much. The reverse has also occurred.
I wonder what the new potential employer would think, knowing the OP would jump ship so easily? Certainly might change their opinion of hiring him/her.
I vote for "look out for numero uno, because nobody else will" and just understand the ramifications if you do. Truth be told, there may not be any.
Quite frankly, I don't believe in employer loyalty, because employers only believe in it if it suits them. If they can sever the relationship with or without cause with no warning whatsoever, so can you. Just don't be stupid about it.
Jump ship if the other job is truly better. Just make sure you've considered all of the other stuff besides salary. Who cares if you burn one bridge? Just don't make it a habit. If it makes you feel better plenty of employers have pulled the rug out from under newly hired folks for crappy reasons.
I agree with AAM to the extent that you have to protect your reputation, but I think I'd be looser than she about one of the reasons this would be OK: It's your dream job. It may not actually be your dream job, but 20 miles closer to home, better work, and more pay? Sounds dreamy to me.
I assume your employment is at-will (since if you'd signed a contract I assume this wouldn't even be a question). People leave jobs all the time because they got a better offer. It's one of the best reasons to leave! I sucks that your better offer came so soon, but them's the breaks. You could leave it flexible, in terms of telling your current employers you got a better offer, and that if they meet it you'd love to stay, but it just doesn't make sense for you to be in a business relationship that is less beneficial to you.
That being said, I would make sure to stay at your new position at least a couple years. I don't think that your leaving would make your new employers like you less, given that they "won," so to speak.
Leave. We spend too much of our lives at work. 40 hours a week is a lot when you're only awake for 112 hours a week. And you could end up working there for 20 years. It only makes sense to work at the place which makes you the happiest.
Go. Don't look back. And don't worry about your reputation. You were only there for 4 whole days. No one's going to remember you anyway.
I agree with most of the posts. Leave however do it in a professional manner. There is no sense in staying somewhere that you may not be happy at. You will always have that "what if" pondering in the back of your mind. Like others have stated, you were only there for 4 days. That is nothing.
I just left a job after 2 months. I don't have any regrets for the position wasn't truthfully explained to me and was misrepresented. Still, I gave it 100%. I found out that it wasn't the right fit for me. If I had known the real job (which was hidden from me), I wouldn't have accepted the position. Also, I like what Rebecca suggested, asking the question about what is the favorite thing about working at the company. I'm going to a job interview today and will ask that question. You are interviewing them just as much as they are interviewing you – it's a two way street. Good luck!
20 mile difference is a significant commute and really, if the situation were reversed and the company had to let someone go because they may have had a change in business plans or were not happy with the person's performance , they wouldn't think twice about terminating – after all it's a business decision right? Goes both ways
Well this is happening to me right now actually, except for I'm not yet in so deep. I just got offered a job, a first job, for a small college. I haven't officially started yet but gave a verbal agreement that I would take the job only to have another interview pop up on me tomorrow, for a position at an elementary school. The elementary school is where I want to be because I want to be more of a media specialist that in academic librarianship, but like people have mentioned about writers situation, this second offer is not a sure thing, so I'm not sure how long to stall or dawdle. I don't want to lose what is a sure thing, but I don't want to miss out on the opportunity that will give me more of the professional experience I'm looking for. What to do? What to do?
Take the 2nd interview and ask all the right questions. If you get the right offer from the 'dream' job, professionally express your regrets to the current employer and take the job you'll love to get up each morning to do. You'll be happier, your family will be happier, and living with regrets will eat you up. Your reputation is what others 'think' you are… your character is who you really are.
That’s so true what you say about reputation and character. The problem is that many people define who they are because of what they do in their jobs. Sad somehow.
you know what jessica, you need to go into this 2nd interview and just lay the cards on the table. This is where I am, but feel this is mre my style yada yada – would be willing with the write offer – signed. It's a business decision, don't forget that
I just went through this… After about 5 months of looking, I accepted a job at an NGO and 2 days into it got an offer from my dream company for the dream job. (When it rains it pours!)
I quit the NGO the next day– I felt horrible and sick and hated doing it to them. And I very much considered the reputational impact. I wrote a letter to the president apologizing and giving my reasons. But I had also just been through a very difficult layoff. 15 years with my company and the thanks I get (after moving to Europe for them too) is a pink slip. I will never again feel any loyalty towards my company. I will always give 100+%, but never again a blinding loyalty. My needs and my family's needs come first. Period.
I have now been at my dream job for almost 3 months, and while the job itself is fantastic, I realize I am very underpaid for what they actually want me to do. And, I hate the office environment. (Total open space with just rows of desks– I can reach my hands out on either side of me and touch my neighboring colleagues.) So, I'm looking again. It won't look great, but it's not like I have a history of jumping ship. The 2-day job isn't even on my resume, and frankly I think a 15-year stint shows that I am very capable of commitment. But a good lesson learned = the grass is not always greener.
I just need to get better at assessing the company culture so I get it right next time! I felt like I had done that this time, but I missed something somewhere.
It's a tough situation to be in, and sometimes we don't and can't have all the information to make the best decision. If it's well thought out, I respect the decision either way.
What about a situation I am currently facing. Been offered a position that was 3K less than what I had been led to believe, but met the staff and the culture appeared appealing.
Manager had said that he wasn't keen on hiring someone who was going to leave.
Having terrible second thoughts though and not being whole hearted about going to work there.
Yes, you can take a better offer and should. but it will also be held against you. Funniest thing I ever saw, the company gave an honorary plaque for an employee for an exemplary job. The guy was looking for another job and had already left for it without saying a word to the company. Dude never came back for anything, personal effects or the plaque for being a great employee.
Yet you can take a job work there a few weeks or a lifetime, get laid off no matter how long you have worked there or how committed you were, because that is what is best for the company and that is some how acceptable. When You do something that is best for you there are consequences.
I can understand both sides but- I have to go with the sentiment that your only duty is to yourself.
This is your LIFE. I've given loyalty and gone way above and beyond for a workplace. I was not rewarded for it like I thought I would be, and I wouldn't do it again.
sir,
please solve my query.
i am working in an organization were my boss is not very nice. she always humiliate me.I am not comfortable with the job.so i want to quit my job without any notice. since i am in a probation period , I want to know will i get my salary for the days i have worked or they can block it. if so then what are the govt laws which can help me to get my salary easily.
If you’re in the U.S., they’re required to pay you for any time you worked. State laws dictate how long they have to get you your final paycheck. Google the name of your state, plus “final paycheck” and “law” and you should find the law for your jurisdiction.
I am currently in the same situation an many here. I started a new job on Monday and on that day got called for an interview for a job I really wanted all along, and the company I used to intern with. I hadnt heard from them in over a month and thought there were no positions. I have decided to do the interview as I see no harm in talking. But Im thinking the longer I stay in my current job the more time they are going to spend on training etc. and the more awful it would be to ever even consider leaving. I do like my current job but the other job is a company I really want and the role itself is more what I want. As i took my current job because I thought I couldnt get anything better. And i got the interview with the 2nd company through a contact who I also dont want to let down! So if i do have to make that decision in a week or 2, it will be a very very tough one!
I am in the same situation as many of you that posted. I started my current job 2 weeks ago. It has been nothing that I expected from the job interview. Now I have an opportunity to go to a different employer that I interviewed with 2 months back. They even upped their salary range to get better candidates. Problem is I have many good colleagues here I know I would let down. If I did not have any friends here, I would walk away no problem. But my conscience is getting the best of me and telling me I will have a shattered reputation to a lot of people. It is such a tough situation to be in.
But honestly speaking what is better; if you know you don’t like the job from the get go. What is better/worse, quitting after 2 or 3 weeks or 12 months? Either way they are going to be disappointed. I guess your rep would take a softer hit if you managed to stay a year, but is it worth the suffering and the loss of the current dream position? It is a very tough call.
Hi,
I am also in the same situation. I graduated last year and was trying so hard to get on to a graduate sheme during my final year. I didn’t manage to get onto a graduate scheme until now. (10months after graduating)
I just started a new job a month ago that offers no study support, is part time but has good experience in the career I want to develop in. The grad job is due to start in Sept where I will be supported in gaining the professional qualifcation, sent to college (all paid for) will get the experience I need and become qualified after 3 years. I’m not sure how to handle the situation after a month at this new job. What’s worse is my line manager is a relative.
I’ve accepted the other job offer because to be frank it’s just a much better job opportunity for me as a recent grad. I don’t mind working my notice and + a few weeks extra but I don’t think they’d want me to. I think I should hand in my notice asap out of courtesy even though I start in Sept?
SO glad I’m not the only one in this situation! I just quit two part time jobs before I even got started and it felt pretty awful. But it was totally worth it. When I first got laid off 3 months ago I was desperate and panicked. I didn’t think I would get something decent and so I accepted a summer job at a day camp and a pretty much theoretical job with a woman who was just starting her business and wasn’t sure how many hours she would be able to get for me with her clients.
I have a master’s degree and had a master’s level job before I got laid off.
Anyway, I hadn’t started at either job and hadn’t received any money from either job, but I had been hanging on to them for about a month before I realized that I should probably start looking for something more serious again.
Fast forward to now. I am in the final stages of interviews for two amazing organizations and, though I do not have an official offer from either, I feel much better about my long term prospects and about my availability for a position that will actually further my career and pay my bills.
Did I jump the gun? Yes. Did I disappoint two people who were counting on me? Yes. But I learned valuable lessons from the situation and I will try very hard to never waste other people’s time again. I learned that I need to seriously consider my goals before accepting something. I also need to stop undervaluing myself! I’m good enough for a permanent master’s level job, regardless of the economy!
So, I am in a similar, but slightly more difficult situation…
I have been seriously applying and interviewing for jobs for a few months. At first I received ZERO responses, so I panicked and started asking people if their companies were hiring. A couple good friends and my parents pulled through and help get my resume to the top of the pile. I am now in a situation where I have 1 offer and a few 2nd/3rd interviews. I am planning to take the offer (even though it’s not my 1st choice) and continue to interview with the 1st choice, but I am terrified about losing a friendship over it. I have spoken to a few people and they have said… “This is your LIFE… you have to do what’s best for you and if this person who helped you is a true friend, they will understand.”
What do you think??? I am all ears…
Um, wow. I suggest you talk to the friends/family who you’d potentially be screwing over here.
I already tried to explain my confusion to him, but he doesn’t seem to understand my point of view. I have been 100% honest throughout the process, and he started out being super supportive… Now that he knows I have one than one opportunity, he has completely changed and put a lot of pressure on me to accept the offer. I told him I needed more time to think about it and he told me i would look bad if I didn’t accept right away so I caved and now I’m regretting it. Dont get me wrong… I REALLY appreciate him getting them to look at my resume but I got myself the job by interviewing well. Am I forever indebted to him be he put my rez on his bosses desk? I don’t feel like I should give up the job I really want just because the offer came through a week later. Do u? I have done same favor for a couple friends myself, but after I passed along the resume, I stepped out of the loop. Shouldnt it be that way? That’s business.
I need some strong advice on how to explain my feelings about the better offer to my friend. What can I say to make him realize I need to take my first job choice?
I was working for a company for 5 weeks then i decided to give them my 1 week notice, they were upset that i was leaving because i promised them i would stay, but like other stories the job description wasn’t even close what they gave me before i started. As there is also a note that the hotel servants are not responsible for any…… which i find very offensive to call an employee a servant. Now i been applying to several hotels now but no one has called me for a interview. Right now i am only thinking that the old hotel i worked for probally ruined my reputation as a good worker. Any advice?
Like many of you, I am in the similar situation. After being laid off and out of work for most of this year, I was panicking that I wasn’t going to be able to find anything, I began to look outside my field. I got 3 onsite interviews with 3 different companies in a span of a week back in late June-early July, then I heard NOTHING.
I made the final round in all 3, but 2 of them dropped out because funding fell through for this additional req. After another month, the one company left standing finally called me back for a 2nd/3rd interview, and I got a job offer, which I started this week. But right after I had accepted, a recruiter called me to consider yet another company, which I hadn’t even thought about. He arranged for me to meet my potential supervisor, the VP of the department, over dinner. This company was really excited to meet me. This arrangement was unusual to me. After speaking to him, the position sounded intriguing and he asked me to meet with the rest of the team (i.e. a formal interview) this past Friday. This position would give me the opportunity to travel overseas to meet with our manufacturer in Europe.
The company culture seems to be there–new employees get 3 weeks of vacation, profit sharing, 401k on day 1, paid holidays, etc. The pay would be the same as the first job sans the additional week of vacation. The only downside is the distance. I can take the train to my current job and be there in about 1 hour (I live in the burbs) or drive which gets me there in about 40-45 minutes.
The potential job/offer, which I’m expecting Monday, would require me to drive over 35 miles on 2- and 4-lane highways (not expressways), meaning about an hour commute.
Please help! Confused about loyalty in the Midwest….
This happen to me too. I felt so guilty and terrible after i left the company which offer me the position.I work for them two days,it was enjoyable and the team are truely helpful people.On that second day ,i was checking my mail and my dream job which i perviously reject offer me an position again,i was stunned thinking hey this is my chance. So i called my manager about it ,told them my reason. They did not sound so happy about it and never congrate upon this chance for me.I felt so guilty and that night i email an apology letter to them.I’m 20 years old,and i feel that my world is turning upside down.Worried about my dream job and leaving my current job.My family member supported my decision.It is always a relieved to hear people giving you support in such difficult situation that may bring your reputation down.You may put yourself in the shoe of the company and hate yourself for doing such abrupt decision which waste their time. However, i feel if you have decided then quit and do it,there will always be a better person out there to filled up your current post. Follow your heart and listen to it.You and your heart should feel so far apart. Don’t be afraid of having bad reputation.Because everyone have their own dream to live for.We don’t work for someone for good reputation sake but we work for our passion is there.We have study for so many years to find out our interest ,so we shouldn’t miss our chance when opportunity come.As,I was typing my current manager reply me an email for my regret of leaving,this make me feel even guilty.But is not life is about who and what you are.You might feel lost and hard to overcome during this period of time,guilty ,worried. I wish everyone of us that is in this situation will walk on bravely.Stay happy !Shine on. Maybe after all there is no right and wrong in life,follow your heart. : )) BE BRAVE MY FRIEND!YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE, NO ONE CAN CHANGE YOUR PERSONAILTY and who you are with their comment about you. Once you leave the current company and join the new dream company WORK HARD,and workhard because it is something you knew you are more passionate about.Be responsible for the next job you are applying for, take from this experience and accept job offer that you are sincerely passionate about.
I’m facing this problem too, though with a bit of a twist. I’m a recent Master’s graduate, looking for a career in my field. However, I incurred large debts to get through school, I need a fulltime job and money now. I’ve been offered a job at a respectable institution totally unrelated to my careers goals. I really have no choice but to take this job to pay the bills while I look for a job related to what I studied. It’s either that or default on my payments, ruin my credit and face possible bankruptcy. I think that you really have to look out for yourself, it’s a cut-throat economy out there. During my studies I did summer work for a company for 4 summers with an excellent record, only to be told after this most recent summer I was ineligable for rehire because I made one mistake. I even moved back East four times for this company (I go to school out West in the winters). Company loyalty means NOTHING these days. They can (and believe me will) screw you over because it’s a “good decision for the company right now.” Do what’s best for yourself, screwing one or two companies over probably won’t damage your reputation over the long term, doing it again and again, though, will.
A thought on dream jobs offers after you’ve already started elsewhere. Why not stay in your current job for the minimum amount of time before it would be appropriate to “move on?” I don’t see any problem with leaving a company after 8 to 12 months if something better came along. And plus, after a year of professional experience in a related job at this other company, I’m sure you’ll look even more appealling to your “dream company.” Thoughts?
I’m curious what if you haven’t started the job yet, but have accepted the offer. In this situation, there’s at least a week and a half before you’re scheduled to begin work. Your first choice (dream job, dream company etc) has contacted you with an offer and it’s much better than the one you’ve accepted with your second choice. How horrible does this switch become in this context?
It’s better than leaving after you’ve already started, but aside from that, the same principles apply.
Thank you. I do agree. It’s an awkward spot to be in…I hope I make the right decision.
Interesting discussion. I have a similar situation. I work for a small company (5 employees) owned by a friend. He put me on staff when I was laid off a couple of years ago. The layoff cost me $20,000/year in salary, not including bonuses, etc.
It has been something of a struggle to adapt finanacially, so I have been upfront about keeping my options open. Even though I have not been actively seeking another job, I have been approached twice by other companies. The latest resulted in an offer letter which I signed and returned.
Now, here is the rub. When I told my boss he stated numerous times that he wanted me to stay and in truth, it would cause him measurable hardship if I left. While his counter offer is not quite at the level of the offer it is a more than generous offer given his current situation.
My preference is to stay where I am and to be honest, I wish I had approached my current boss before I signed the offer letter. My loyalty is where I am, particularly since my current boss put me on salary when I was laid off even though he was not really in a postion to do it. Although the other company is significantly larger with more benefits, leaving my current employer would cause significant financial hardship for him (which may be part of the reason I was offered a job by one of our competitors…small world in our profession).
At the end of it all, while I might agree in principle that it is unethical to renege on an accepted job, sometimes there are other things in play that only come to light once an offer is accepted and could not be considered because they were unknown at the time.
What a mess I’m in! I was called for an interview this morning, interviewed this morning and got the job offer this morning. I start Monday morning. After my interview, I got a call for an interview with my dream company. I have been trying to get an interview with this company for over a year now and they finally took the bait. My interview is on Tuesday (the day after I start the job I accepted). I am working it out to where I have an “appointment” Tuesday. This job I accepted is NOT my dream job. My brother’s friend helped me get it b/c I have been looking for over a year (four months unemployed) and was getting desperate. This job has no benefits and the pay is significantly less than what I have been paid in the past. The dream job is with a major company and offers all of the benefits. I feel guilty for going to this interview, but it’s for something I have been trying for for years. Besides, it’s just an interview. If they offer…..Lord help me!!
Am I wrong?
I’ve been in my job for 7 months now, having lasted because of the relaxed atmosphere in the office and good location. But the salary is crap and i am struggling every month to save! I have now only just received an offer with a very attractive salary from a previous employer, whom i was loyal to and worked for part-time, then got laid off for no reason and then found out discretely from someone that it was because of lies and gossip from the other staff which they made the manager believe. And because of this, 3 other staff left. Whats more important? I do not know what the best decision is to take??
I’ve applied to Company A in May 2011, been to four (!) face-to-face interviews in the past few months, of which only the last one was with my potential boss, and I got a call about a job offer from them; they said that they would like me to start at the beginning of next year, which means that from application to acceptance/start lie 7 (!) months. It’s OK but it does not blow my socks off, especially since I would be the only one in their small company with the combination of rare skills they desperately need to expand – their use of me is not reflected in the offer.
Initially I was somewhat excited about the position but the whole process has been such a drag and I’ve started to resent them for being so slow. Moreover, I’ve been to three interviews where I talked to people without any authority to hire people and whom I would not be working with at all. WTF?!
In the meantime I applied for jobs at other companies. Right now I’m hoping that Company B will make an offer soon too, so that I can tell A to shove their offer up theirs truly, though in a more professional manner than that.
My problem is quite similar: I have an offer from A but hope for one from B. I’ve tried and stalled A but more than a week seems unreasonable. I’ve been applying for over a year and so far A is the only company to have made an offer, so I can stick out for much longer, as my current contract ends at the end of the year.
If B never makes an offer, then at least I’ll have A. If B makes an offer after I said yes to A, it’s probably because they had a favourite who declined their offer, so they did not really want me anyway. I need to accept soon because the economy is too bad to assume another company comes along with an offer.
I think that A somehow believes that they already “own” me and I cannot back down, because they have been in talks with me since May (although never about an actual offer).
Quitting shortly after I’ll start at A would seem unprofessional but on the other hand they kind of have it coming with the way they treated me by simply waiting and waiting and waiting. A recent email to me from them read “Thank you for your patience :)”. I’m on smiley-terms with them? Odd. A simple thanks does not cut it really.
*can’t stick out for much longer (sorry, typo)
What do you do when the company you just started working for, and your dream job that you just got an employment offer from, are in the same building? It’s a large building with many company’s in it, but still a bad situation to be in.
Kind of a non-issue unless you make it one. Your much bigger issue is what to do about the job you just started.
Can you elaborate? What do you mean by it being a non-issue?
–Thanks
I’m not clear on why you think being in the same building is a big problem. Can you explain?
I guess I just think it could be awkward running into the manager from the first job, if I took the dream job that’s in the same building.
Nah, only awkward if you decide to feel awkward about it. You’ll get used to it pretty quickly.
True enough. Thanks for your response.
I had been recently laid off and a former co-worker had refered me to a company A and I got a call for a contract job that I never applied to. After the interview I was offer the job for 3 months on contract. Comany A wanted me to start within one week.
But I also have a personal referal for a other company B and is in the process of the interviewing. I hadn’t exspect to get the contract job so quickly and was hoping I had enough time to see if I could get a full-time job with company B. I have been trying to get an interview with company B for a long time and this may be my break.
I’m not sure if I should except company A’s offer because after 3 month I will be out of work and no EI. But on the flip side I may not get an offer of company B either. This goes hand in hand with the article about reputation and harming the company. On top of that I had people whom have refered me involved. I am in a really sticky situation and feel whatever I do there is going to be a problem.
Here are two posts that might help:
http://www.askamanager.org/2008/07/juggling-job-offers.html
http://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/outside-voices-careers/2009/02/02/how-to-juggle-a-job-offer-when-youre-waiting-for-another
Thank you, the articles helped a lot. But company A has only given me up until tomorrow at 4 to decided (I don’t have a week). My interview for company B will be at 2pm. I will ask them if I can move my appointment earlier. But to buy sometime would it be unprofessional to back out of the contract before I sign and return the form/ or start the first day of work?
I’ve been struggling with a similar issue, and would love some advice.
I was at a nonprofit for a year as an AmeriCorps member
(You serve in an organization for a year, and receive a living stipend and educational award). Three weeks before the end of my term, I was hired in for a part time administrative assistant position (24 hours a week at 10 dollars an hour). The position was originally advertised as full time, but changed to part time during the interviewing process. I took it, because I like the organization very much and would like to stay there long term. The other thing is that the program is grant funded, and ends in about eight and a half months.
Right before I officially started this new position, another position opened in the same organization but a different program within the organization. This one is full time, won’t end soon like the other, and I would make about 2.5 times as much as I do now. The position is a better match for my interests and skill set, and requires a Bachelors (the position I’m currently in requires a high school diploma, and I’m over halfway through my Master’s program). I’m interviewing next week, but terrified that I’m going to seem like a job hopper or will burn bridges with my current manager and coworkers in my program.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
In this specific case, it’s totally reasonable and understandable that of course you’d prefer a FT position to a PT one, especially having practically donated your time to them for a year through AmericaCorps, and I don’t think it’s going to reflect badly on you at all. Good luck!
And this is a good example of how the specifics of a situation can make all the difference!
I’m facing the same situation now. I’ve been out of job 3 months and got a referral from old colleague in his new company. I had the interview last Monday and offered last Thursday. I haven’t had much time to think about as they push me to make decision before friday. Since I don’t have another offer and not in a job, even though the offer was 20% less than my previous job and I still signed it and came to work this Monday. The problem is I got an email from another company hiring manager saying the offer from them will be signed on their Thursday’s meeting and the pay would be 30% higher than my current new job and has more responsibility. And the job location is also 20 miles closer to my home. My question is how long should i stay on my current job before i give notice to my manager who happen to be a acquaintance and i hope he can understand my decision. I’m pretty sure nobody in the current company will happy. But my take is that they take advantage over my unemployee status and cut my pay first, i have all right to pursue better opportunity. Is this justified?
Hi There,
My dream is to become a Police Officer. I have spent the last two and a half years schooling and training to get into the local Police Dept.
Looking into a career in the Police Dept., I know it could take 3-4 years for me to obtain a position. I have worked for the same organization I am currently with for the past 2 years. They know my intentions of becoming a Police Officer and fully support my aspirations. The problem with my current organization is that I am not a full-time employee. I work full time hours, but am paid hourly, do not get vacation time or any benefits.
I have been looking for a job that relates to law enforcement for the past year and that would provide better for my family. I have had a few interviews but none of the jobs came to fruition. I recently had an interview for a job that directly relates to Police work and would provide great experience until I get into a Police Dept. I got the call just the other day and they offered me the position.
Problem is – about three weeks ago, I got a call from the local Police Dept and had an interview. I found out that I was successful and made it to the next stages of the process. The Police Dept processes can be anywhere between 8-12 months from start to finish. This means that if I am successful in the process, I would receive a job offer in Spring/Summer 2012.
My issue is if I should accept the job offer from the “interim” company knowing that I could very well be gone in 6-7 months. If I do recieve a job offer from the Police Dept. it is my dream job and I would not have to worry about the burned bridges popping back up in my life (work life). If I don’t take the “interim” job and don’t recieve a job offer from the Police Dept., I am left in the same situation as I am in now.
I feel badly for all of the reasons you listed above (leaving the company in a bad situation, unfair to the people they didn’t hire, etc).
Suggestons?
I am in a similar situation. I am about to start a job in a week’s time but in the meantime another opportunity but no offer as yet arise in a company that I use to work for for 4 years and since I left I regret and would love to have an opportunity to go back. Now of course let say hypothetically I get the job, of course wont be able to start in a months time which means the new job am starting I would be working a month already. If I take the new offer with an old company what must I do shall I take it or stick with the job that I am starting in a week’s time?
I’m in a similar situation. Left my previous company after 4 years, and joined my former boss and so far I had worked here for almost three months. The problem I am facing now is, I realise that what my boss told me, are difference from what the company president expecting from me, and I realise that my boss might have some hidden agenda behind me, and got very suspicious whenever I have a discussion or even just a lunch with the president without her present.
I’m currently hunting for job, and I stuck between professional ethics, and so call company loyalty; and wondering how to answer the recruiter/ future employer if they asking for the reason why I wanted to leave the current company.
Here’s my dilemma. I had a contract position at the large tech company A in my one horse town. My hope was that something would happen to allow me to become a permanent employee in a more challenging role. I had worked for this company before but they spun out my division which then laid me off during the downturn, so it would be welcome to get back in. A few months back the CEO announced a hiring freeze nixing my chances for rehire. The job I was doing was ridiculously under challenging, so I needed to move on.
I got a job tip via an old friend about an opportunity B in Silicon Valley 150 miles from home. I interviewed and was given an offer. The company is well respected, endless challenge, great office environment, great people and benefits. Without better prospects back home eventually I would be forced to move to somewhere like the Bay Area anyway, so I accepted the position with every intention of being open to moving when the things with the family lined up, but in the mean time I would commute and stay away from home for the week. Lots of people are doing this commute during these hard times.
I gave my two weeks and was resigned to go. However, 3 days before the end a friend alarmed to hear that I was leaving took my resume and talked to various managers. I got a call, a last minute interview and an offer for contract with that group doing stuff that I liked and most importantly close to home. I have a pot load of kids and a working wife. I would help immeasurably if I were close to home.
Unfortunately, my permanent job with company B started the next Monday and a definite contract offer had not be given. The contractor said that this happens all the time and that I should go to work at company B on Mon. and wait for the offer to get ironed out.
Well, I just got the offer and now I’m worried that it is unethical for me to work for 2-3 weeks at company A and then take another less secure job with less pay but better aligned with family needs with company B.
I’m in a quandary. Everything about the new job is great except it is so far from home and I will never get to see my family. The boss seemed pretty negative on any telecommuting option and has more than once asked when I moving down permanently. To get the job I had to paint a picture of flexibility, but with this new opportunity back home, I don’t know what is the right thing to do. Help!!
You’ve got to do what’s right for your family. Just because there are negatives to leaving job A (and there are indeed negatives) doesn’t mean that you can never do it — you just need to balance all the factors in play.
Hello!!
I am in a quandary… I have signed a contract for an engineering job to start my employment in September 2012. It is a good job as it relates to my degree, pays well , has progression pathways and more. I had to sign the contract or say no last Monday (their ultimatum). The only issues with the job are the distance from my family and hometown, and, in my mind a perception of ‘the grass is greener’ with other jobs, say based in London (this is sad I know, but it’s how I feel!). I’m 22 and this will be my first full time role, I have no relationship ties or kids and I’m due to graduate in June/July 2012.
I have interviews lined up with two better companies (more money, better reputation, higher responsibility and better location) in the early new year (with a definite outcome by late February 2012 ), these are penultimate interviews and there is no guarantee of employment offers.
From an ethical point of view should I even consider going to the other interviews (let alone take an offer from them and back out of my current offer)? The guys I signed contracts with have already contacted me to get a medical sorted and have invited me to go and meet my new line manager and discuss my first role. So I feel the company is already putting time and money into me.
However given this; the company will have time to fill gaps as the job starts in September 2012 if I back out in February/March.
I’d be grateful for any opinions or some perspective!
I think your answer is in my original post above. You need to weigh those factors and decide what to do.
Seems to be the issue to have. I feel like I am reading my own situation over and over… symptom of the economy and jobless fears, unemployment compensation being cut, etc. I accepted an offer for a position outside of my field earlier this week, due to start in 2 weeks. Just got a call with an offer for another position, within my field of experience, that is $20K more a year. Benefits aren’t as great, but they aren’t that bad either and the hours are flexible. Merry Christmas. I’m soul searching and keep coming back to my last company not blinking when they eliminated my position after 10 years, while I was on maternity leave. Yes, I was one of several hundred impacted and it was hard on all of us, but I was devastated. I have been on over 100 interviews and half that have made it to to second or final interviews…. only to never hear a word back. I can count on 2 hands the number of times I received a follow-up. Desperation sets in and fear of never finding anything and you are told to just take it whatever is on the table and of course you do because you need to feed your family. Your family and your happiness should be your first priority. I hope it’s your dream job and you are employed for many years and you will never have to worry about a hit to your reputation. I may be burning a bridge, but I’m building a future for myself and my family, that’s the only way I can look at it.
In a very tricky situation.
I had two interviews within a week. I got a job offer from the company (X) that would have been my second choice and had a cut off date so I took the job! Now, 2 days before I start work at company X, I have an offer from the other company (Y) I really wanted to work for!
Company Y offers Graduate Scheme that leads towards CEng
Company X offers just a Graduate job and may suppport CEng
Company Y – I will be with other graduates and getting trained and will be developing my personal self as well as travelling and doing various placements during first two years before choosing a specialty.
Company X – I will be working with old guys (but they are nice)
I have no idea what to do…
Company Y start date is in Sept 2011 but I can bring it forward to Feb 2011 if I wanted to start earlier. Should I work for Company X for 6 months (probation period) and then leave before the end of 6th month with 1 week notice and start with Company Y – Or Leave after a week of starting work with company X?
I know I want to work for company Y – but I just don’t know when to leave company X and how to tell them I am leaving…
Some advice would be appreciated…
Just an advice… when you get an offer the same day as your interview, sleep on it for 1-2 days. That way, if a better offer comes up you are in the clear. Employers who know that they are worth your time don’t generally expect your answer right away. They say “have a think about it”. You also take this time to formulate a negotiation of higher pay with the company you’re joining.
I’m in a difficult, yet slightly different situation. I’ve been interning (and asking for a job) for a great company for 6 months. After graduating, they hired other people for my dream position, but gave me the go-around. Over a month after graduating, I was offered & accepted a different position at my dream company, which will eventually lead to what I want to do. When I put in my notice at my internship, they offered me a similar position for $5,000 more. I work in a small industry & burning bridges could be harmful in the future. I want to work for my dream company, but $5k is a significant difference and is hard to refuse. Can I ask for an increase in salary after accepting the first job?
No, you’ve already negotiated and accepted your salary. You can ask for a raise once you’ve earned one, generally after about a year.
5K only sounds significant when you think of it as a lump sum.
It’s actually (roughly) $3,750 after taxes. That’s an additional take home of $72.12 a week which works out to $1.80 per hour.
I’m the first to agree that when it comes to money more is always better…but it’s a fairly insignificant amount of money and not worth risking a position at your dream company. Imo.
I’m in a bind. I have accepted a job offer earlier this week. I just received a voice mail from the company I really want to work for. I’m guessing that a call is a good sign of an offer. The dream employer knows that I already had an offer on the table while they were making their decision. The first employer did give me a slight extension but was not long enough.
I would not start until July/Aug. The first company also interviewed over 130 people during the final round for about 35 positions. So they can easily extend an offer to another candidate.
Both are similar salary but in completely different industries. The first company would require me moving every 8 months for the next 2.5 years (we’ll be in a long distance relationship) while the dream company would allow me to be with my husband and thus start a family.
Both positions were found through on campus recruiting through my school so they can easily complain to the career services and thus word get back to the dream recruiter.
If dream company asks me if I already accepted the other offer, should I lie or be truthful? What should I do?
Here is my issue…..
I work for the state. I applied for the same job in 2 different agencies. Agency A called for 1st interview and I went. Shortly after they called for the 2nd interview. I thought I bombed both times.
About 2 weeks passed and agency B called for the 1st interview which went really well. I was tipped of as to be getting a 2nd interview. I was happy.
At this point I wrote off agency A as I felt I had done poorly and felt enough time passed that I should have gotten a call.
2 days ago, agency A called with a job offer and gave me a day to think about it. I called the next day and verbally accepted it. That same afternoon agency B called to set up the 2nd interview. On my way home the director of agency A called to welcome me. The start date is set for an 4 week from now. I have given notice to my current employer as to my departure as I plan to be leaving one way or another.
Here are some points of both jobs
Agency A is a full time permanent position. It is 40 hours a week, no weekend, no nights, no holidays. It is mostly based indoors and increases my travel nearly 32miles a day. This may have occasional overtime.
Agency B is a full time permanent position with an ending date. It is 40 hours a week, no weekends, no nights, no holidays, It is based on a renewable grant. It is mostly based on field work and comes with a car for travel. There is no overtime authorized, but offers comp time in lieu of overtime. The grant has been renewed scene the 1990′s.
I have already verbally accepted agency A, but I am heavy leaning towards agency B, even though is a renewable grant. (providing I get the offer)
I guess my real question is how wrong, messed up, regretful..whatever would it be to now turn down agency A offer and go with agency B ? Mind you, the start date is still 3 1/2 – 4 weeks away.
Any help would be great as I am expecting a call next week sometime.
They both are the same pay and same benefits, retirement, insurance?
I guess my real question is how wrong, messed up, regretful..whatever would it be to now turn down agency A offer and go with agency B ?
The principles in the original post apply here too.
in a similar situation THIS MORNING! Im getting ready for work, and to quit my job. Today. Ive been working at this cimpany for about a month. Last week another offer from a previous employer presented itself to me. It pays 33% more than my current job, and provides full healthcare benefits, unlike my current job that provides none. I am leaving my job for the one that found me because there will me much more of an opportunity to grow in the position. My current job is at a small company, and i definitely cant grow any higher than all the family members who work at this family run busuness, which i did not realize in the interview as no one told me outright that all the managers are siblings, i kinda just had to figure it out myself.anyway, any quick tips on how to dump them before i leave for work? Thanks!
To everyone out there in this situation, GO FOR IT!!! DO IT!!! LOOK AFTER YOURSELF!!! Do not worry about the employer. If you are not in a small town or field where it can ruin your reputation, just do it! Go for a better job! You have to take risks in life, new job might not turn out as good but there are no guarantees that in the current role you wont get redundant or new cruel management would come in the week after and make you miserable! Just give it a go and if, for example, the new job saves you 1 hour a day on travel – it is an hour of your life a day you will never get back, and why should you wait a year when a better job might not be offered then?
There is no such a thing as loyalty these days! Employers lie on job interviews about the hours, their staff turnover and the job all the time! After all, if you have 1 weeks notice during probation and prepared to serve it, you are not in breach of contract and I agree with the others – it is a business decision!
Emotionally, yes, it is really hard to dump the employer when you have just started, but you have to do what is best for you!!! And don’t look back!
It is a thing of 21st century that there is nothing permanent except change! Us workers have to deal with it and adapt, we are dumped by employers at the first opportunity so maybe employers also have to accept they will get it back in return.
I am personally starting a new job on Monday and awaiting on a second interview for another job that is much closer to home. I do not want to end up with nothing and prepared to dump the new employer if I have to. I am also planning to get pregnant asap too, screw them all! Over the years I worked long hours, being always lied to at job interviews and put up with it all. I put my life on hold because of ethics and worries about what my employer would think. I am now desperately trying to have a baby and can not tell you how much I regret about taking care of employers but not me!
Good luck to everyone and hope your new job is a better one!!!
Amen.
Yes! Totally agree, and very well said! No one will take care of you but yourself so go for it!!
Can I get some feedback if an employee on 90days job probation an findthat the just is to intense what’s the best way to get notice to supervior the the job’s not working out for the employee just a little to stressful
job requires lots of paperwork to be completed without taking the work home not much ouertime to complete work
I think we all here need guidance how to dump the employer, any help? What reasons to give and whether to tell them you got a better offer?
That’s in the post:
Now, with that lecture behind us, there are a very limited number of situations where you can make a better case for what you’re considering:
* The other job is your dream job, an opportunity you may never get again, and the first job is just something to pay the bills.
* You realized very quickly at the new job that there is something profoundly wrong with it — the boss or culture is a nightmare, the job description is totally different from what you were told you’d be doing, etc.
* Your financial situation changed unexpectedly (family health crisis, spouse lost his/her job, etc.) and the other job pays dramatically more.
In these cases, it’s easier to defend breaking your commitment, as long as you (a) fully explain the reason to the first employer, (b) apologize profusely and demonstrate that you know what a terrible situation this puts them in, and (c) realize that you’re almost definitely burning that bridge.
Can you give me some advice please.
I have been at a part time job for a week. It is a nice place and they hired me knowing they would have to wait for me to start as I was away.
While away I was offered an assistant manager role that is very appealing and is more money, more experience and close to home. I am only 23 so to have manager experience is great.
I turned it down to be loyal.
Now I have come back they are begging me to take on the manager role even offering more money.
I currently have 4 jobs and will earn more by doing the 1 full time manager role.
However I am a loyal person and would feel so bad leaving them but then I would possibly just be staying to make them happy. How do I decide?
My feeling is no matter how much you discuss it during the interview, (people tend to stretch or spin the truth), one never can truly know exactly what they’re getting into until they actually do get into it, by starting the job and feeling it out and seeing what it truly is about. I just got a job offer and I’m nervous and stressed because I’ve had bad experiences and I absolutely do not want to find myself in a sitation that is too stressful or unpleasant. I don’t want to keep getting the same type of jobs over and over, just as when dating, you don’t want to keep on dating the same type of guys who are no good for you. On the other hand, one has to pay rent and bills so when you get an offer in this bad economy and there is nothing else out there, what do you do? You must accept for the purpose of survival, yet if a better offer comes along more suited to you as an individual, you’d have to take your chances, black listed or not, and follow your instinct for the purpose of your happiness in the long run.
Thanks for a great post! I have a variation on this theme that I’d love to get some opinions on.
I’ve recently interviewed with two companies through on-campus recruiting, and the more desirable (A) is required by university regs not to extend any offers until a certain date. Company B is well aware of this, and has extended an offer, setting the acceptance deadline two days before this date.
My plan is to accept B’s offer, fully intending to back out a week later if A comes through. Whatever excuse I could come up with, B would know the real reason. I understand why they do this, but still the practice seems underhanded. How offended would they really have a right to be considering they took advantage of regs that don’t apply to them, limiting their candidates’ choices?
I read the “How to Juggle…” articles, and these dates can’t be changed on either end. All interviewing is complete, and most importantly (?), the jobs don’t start for several months.
There’s nothing here that would change the advice in the main post itself. But you could argue that Company A is the one inconveniencing candidates by setting an arbitrary timeframe for when they can make offers.
Fair enough. Just to clarify, this isn’t A’s rule, but the school’s. I suspect it’s in place at the behest of “B” type companies who wouldn’t otherwise bother participating in on-campus recruiting, assuming all the top candidates would choose “A” types if deadlines were aligned. That’s just a guess.
Focus on No. 1 b/c that is what companies do these days. And realistically it doesn’t matter as soon as more time passes than the length of time you were employed by them you ARE forgotten!
If the pay is higher I wouldn’t think twice about taking another offer even if it was only days after starting a new job. The cost of living is insane these days. Thats reason enough and any employer should come to understand that. I have applied to so many jobs now where there have been 1k+ applicants. Trust me they have #2 lined up if you don’t work out. Think of it this way. If a company doesn’t need you anymore they will get rid of you without thinking twice. To most companies your just another body that can easily be replaced by the millions of people out of work. Theres really very little job security these days. Everyone is looking to cut costs and save money where they can. If something better comes along you should never hold yourself back.
So here’s the deal…left a job I loved for an opportunity to work for a non profit that is close to my heart. Short story, it was awful. I started applying to jobs and took the first offer I got after 3 months. I have been at my new job for 2 Weeks and now my first employer (the job I loved) has called and asked me to interview for a job that would be a promotion and much better than what I am doing now. What do I do? I miss my old company and know that I would stay there for 3+ years. I just don’t want it to look like a pattern. If it weren’t with my old company I loved, I wouldn’t even think about it. Also, I am relatively young in my career.
If you do it, you’ll just leave the current job off of your resume entirely. No reason to have it on there, and it’ll just raise red flags.
Any advice as to how I should deliver the news? Also, should I put in my 2 Weeks or not?
Offer two weeks because it’s the professional thing to do. They may not take you up on it, but you should at least offer it. (Wait until you have’ve actually accepted an official offer from the other place, of course.)
Great advice for different scenarios above. I have one offer in my field, but a lower level and salary than previous position (company #1). I first received a verbal, then a formal offer letter, which finally signed after extending the decision deadline as far as it could go. The background verification process is almost completed but still ongoing. The training begins on the other coast and starts in 10 days. There is a second company into the 3rd round of interviews which wants to interview me on-site. Same type of position, but may be a better fit once I meet w/ them in person, and possibly in terms of higher level and/or salary (company #2). I am trying to decide whether to tell company #2 that I have been interviewing. Company #1 will book and spend $ on my travel to attend training a day or two before I am set to travel to company #2′s interview (in which they will also spend $ for airfare for me to attend). So, I may receive the travel confirmation for company #1 on day 1, then travel to company #2 on day 2 and 3 for the interview. I would be set to start work (training) for company #1 on day 7. Neither company ever asked me if I was interviewing elsewhere, so I did not volunteer the information. Both positions would be a challenge for me, and not my ideal, but I have a family, and a bird in the hand… Also, my position is in fair demand in the industry, so I can keep ears open down the line for the ideal. Any advice?
You need to tell the second company that you’ve had an offer from another company, since they may not realize there’s a time constraint for deciding if they’re interested. Their search might be set to take months, which would be good for you to know.
The situation I’m in is a bit different…
I was unemployed for 2 months, firstly I was applying for roles by myself, then I joined a local agency, who have been brilliant.
Secondly, I am trying to switch careers from sales so administration ( I’ve had some previous experience in admin but not much)…
Anyway I was offered an interview for a company through the agency who are highly commended in the business sector, but the position was only for 2-3 months over the summer, but is good pay and up the road from where I live, so I accepted this and have been working there for 2 days…
I now have a problem where I received a letter inviting me for an interview (a week after I will have been in my new position) with a company who was my first choice. It is a slightly more pay, the same hours but is a PERMANENT job…
I haven’t been offered anything by them yet, but I am going to try and attend the interview and see what happens then make a difficult decision….
I am worried firstly about upsetting my current employer ( who is lovely and very kind and welcoming and there is a good team involved), and also of upsetting the agency who have helped me in getting a job at all!
Depending on an offer from the second job interview I don’t know what to do! I live in a small town however the company I’m working for atm is in the middle of knowhere…
I’m in a very tight spot. While I’ve been in my job for only over 2 months, a better higher position is open in the same company I work in. Both my current manager and the “hiring” manager knows each other and I’m afraid that this will create a negative outcome if I do apply for the position. Please advise. I’m so tore up and I really want the new job. My current job is a great one and I love working with everyone in my office. However, I feel like I’m better suited as a leader (new job posting is for a managerial position) than I am a follower. Especially, I’m coming from a military background where getting a higher rank is the aim.
See the first answer in this post:
http://www.askamanager.org/2012/01/short-answer-sunday-7-short-answers-to-7-short-questions-14.html
Thank you… I appreciate that.
I have been at my new job for almost 4 months now. Got a new offer that pays almost double. Both are really reputed firms.I love the current workplace, collegues, managers etc, but im due to get married sometime early next year and the dough would really help (the current firm is paying me a paltry but ‘as per industry standard). Not their fault i was stuck at my 1st job for 4 years which (after i left realized that it ) paid low. Please advise. In a fix.
See the post above :)
Dillema: If i quit before the notice period (say, i worked for 5 months – but notice period 6 months):
1.What do i tell my current manager?
2.How do i answer the ‘whats the guarantee that you will not leave this job too in a few months’ question at the new employer?
3.How do we answer (in future jobs) why did u stay at XYZ company for just 5 months? (Im sure that will be asked at every firm i interview)
Note: May sound a little paraniod, but these are all valid questions :)
Great help if u can help me find answers to these questions
Help! Was unemployed for three months, no solid offers, yet bills and debt continued to rise. Finally offered a new job, an office job, after 20+ years of retail management experience. After 7 weeks with current job, an offer came in for a position I had applied for at time of unemployment, which is also in retail. New offer is 15K more than current job and would help with debt and child’s needs. What to do?? What to say when giving short notice?? Any advice??
I’d say you need to do what’s right for your family, factoring in the advice in the post above.
A little help please ! Somebody, Anybody – to my question posted above.. (Refer:Incognito)
This is a post from a year and a half ago so it doesn’t get much attention anymore. I try to answer when I can, but I’ve got my hands full with reader mail. :)
Oh, thanks anyway :)
My heart aches reading all this. I was laid off and recently re-hired by same company. I have been back at work less than a month, but there are already rumors of more layoffs to come later in the year. Again I would be the low man on the totem pole. I got an interview with another company in a more stable industry. I love my job and my co-workers, but I don’t think I can go through another layoff. I spent nearly all my savings last time. I don’t know of I’ll accept job with the more stable company but I felt like I had to at least interview. I could be laid off again by the time they make a decision!
I feel you should take up that interview and go for the new job if you get through and here’s why –
1. Nothing can trump Job security and peace of mind. At your current job you dont have either of these.
2. Friends and colleagues will always be there with you – No matter where you go. Im sure you will be in touch even if you change your job. I dont think your friends/colleagues will bail you out when you need a job.
I suggest you keep giving more interviews (for more stable jobs) and dont depend on the current job. That way, you dont have to keep fretting on when you will be laid off. May sound a little cold – but desperate times call for desperate measures ! :)
Let me know you found this helpful.
I am in a dilemma and don’t know what to do. My husband and I work overseas currently, and are looking for jobs back home to start in August of this year. He’s accepted a position with Company A… they were the first to respond to him (I know there’s a rule about not accepting the first offer, but in our field, companies seem to like to take forever to get back to you, if they ever do at all); it is a good job, but another perk of it is that it guarantees that we’ll be able to come home. To be clear, he has been offered and accepted the job via email and the hiring person was clear that he is not an official employee at the present time.
Slowly but surely, other companies are starting to email wanting interviews. There have been no official offers… yet. Again, in our field, it seems like letting prospective candidates know in a timely manner isn’t something that’s done, and this is the first time we’ve applied to these kinds of jobs in the US.
Thus, my question is: based on these issues, if we do receive an offer from another company, would we be blacklisting ourselves or burning bridges by taking a better offer? (again, no contract signed, accepted via email, not officially an employee, job starts in august of this year).
I was a contractor for a year at my dream company A. Contracts there are limited to 1 year max. My dream job. I was incredibly happy with the work, the people, everything. The company did want to hire me perm, but needed a full-time position to open up and their hiring process is extremely difficult and lengthy. I went through their process for full-time hire a few weeks before my contract expired with very little hope it would actually work out ( it’s that difficult there).
I found myself out of a job, applying for other jobs. There were offers, that I rejected without having anything else, simply because it wasn’t what I wanted (I was seriously interested in good fits only). Company A and I were still in touch and my hope of getting my dream job was always in the back of my head. Then Company A called me a few weeks later and told me hiring was on a freeze now and they recommend I go ahead with other offers.
Suddenly company B came in the picture (recruiter reached out). It was a great opportunity. Great pay. A lot of people from company A recommended me at company B (my industry has very few people in it). I didn’t ask people for recommendations specifically, but everyone knows everyone and I knew 3 out of my 10 interviewers at Company B beforehand.
Company B made the offer. Generous pay. I was totally happy, ready to start. There were a few things about the position I had doubts if I would like them. But I was willing to give it 100% and I accepted on the spot. I signed the offer letter and other papers.
Then 2 days before my start date Company A suddenly extended a perm offer to me. The offer was even better and included a promotion. This was my forever dream to get hired at company A perm, money and promotion were not even important, but surely made it even harder to reject.
After a day of asking myself what I really wanted to do and having all unrelated people with the situation tell me I should follow my heart, I accepted A and reneged on B as professional as possible.
Now I can’t sleep since the 3 days after I have done it and feel sick to my stomach about how many people I have let down, giving up integrity etc… I am very worried this will come to catch up with me, giving the size of the industry.
Anyways, I am still wondering if I made the right decision or not. Company A had to do some crazy things to get me hired, since I don’t have the necessary master degree etc. I know the offer would have never come back if rejected. I can live with never working for Company B in my life (even though I really like this company too). After-all now, I have a hard time with the loss of integrity and letting down everyone who spoke highly of me. It eats me up. I hope that feeling will pass and I can enjoy that my dream did come true.
Did I do the right thing?
You have your dream job – You did the right thing (It was really kinda on the balance, but marginally tipping towards A, considering all the factors, scenario and position). Given that it is a small industry, I suggest you stick on to A as long as possible atleast 4-5 years (which should not be a problem as it is your dream job) and also hope that people at B and people who you let down just forget about it alltogether.
I talked to the people at Company A who recommended me at Company B and no one was concerned about what I did. I think people are pretty understanding when it comes to looking out for yourself with such important decisions.
What if I signed the offer letter but have not actually started the job when I get the 2nd offer??
Same advice applies as above.
Im in a similar situation only with a difference that I don’t have another offer. I took a job because they really needed me to help with an implementation, they wanted me. Meanwhil I have started and they are not ready for me. They don’t have a job for me, not for another two months. I have read everything I can about the company. I sit 8 hours a day at my desk with no guidance or care from my boss about what their plan for me is for the next two months I want to leave. It’s hard, I feel like I don’t matter And they don’t care. I am getting paid to sit there 8 hours. That’s not what I signed up for. I want to work and feel useful. Every time I ask they tell me they are trying to decide meanwhile I sit and wait. It’s so frustrating. Don’t know what to do. My boss is obviously not good at this. She keeps telling me she doesn’t know what to do. Help!!,!
I recommend you use the time to study. Bring a book with a topic that interests you or find a class online. Just make sure you look busy and it looks like work. Your boss will be happy that you give them the time to place you right and you will get to learn some new skills.
I’m sure I know the answer but need some help. So my goal in life is to become a nurse. I’m currently taking courses at a collage) I applied for a hospital position 3 months ago .. went on two interviews within the second month.. didn’t hear back. Of course I applied at other places. I just accepted the offer and begin training in a few days& just got the call back from the hospital. Both have the same pay..benefits.. but I would I go about quitting a job I have not started? Because to me.. the hospital is a great opportunity?please help! Thanks :)
So, I have a bit of a dilemma, I had worked for a large company for 6 years during college and a bit beyond (keep in mind I am mid-20
s), then moved to another city for grad school, took a completely different job, quit after 3 months because I was being sexually harrassed and demeaned (like my boss tried to slap me and I am very quiet and shy, not argumentative at all), found a job with a quirky, fun small company and a job at that same large company. Took the small company job because it seemed more my style and culture, only to find out that the job description is not what I am actually doing (also, my commute is an hour and 15 minutes). The same large company called me again for another job, higher paying, with benefits and the whole shebang. It’s 15 minutes away from my house. I’m so confused because I don’t want to look like a flake, but I want to love what I do so I can give my all. Also, when I am content, I am very steadfast and reliable as would be most people. I would have stayed with the large company in the first place (because they really take care of their people) if I didn’t have the itch to go to grad school. I feel like I am flipflopping around (I forget one of these flipflops was not my fault), but benefits and an HR department sound pretty awesome right about now. My ideal plan is to do freelance in a few years after I have saved a bunch of money, so should it be a giant concern if I want to move in a few years/don’t want to keep navigating the corporate world? Any advice or experience would be greatly appreciated.
just to be clear, he tried to slap me because I made a very minor mistake (because I’m human) that was easily corrected. Just want to be clear so you realize I’m not a gal who cries wolf.
Your peace of mind, integrity and job satisfaction is what should trump everything else (yes, even the money). You dont want to be looking over your shoulder for your boss finding your mistakes, in all probablility, he could find another reason to actually slap you.
I’d say stick with the job you love doing in the small company or any other firm.
In the end its obviously your call – Peace of mind or the Moolah?
Let me know how it goes/what you choose and if the advice was hlepful :)
I recently accepted a position with a company, realizing the potential for advancing my career without having a negative impact on my family life. This is very important for me with two young children and my wife travelling quite a bit for work. I took a week off between jobs and during that week the new employer has pushed back on my needs for the hours I tend to keep (I have a 30 minute drive to daycare and have to be there by 6:00 every day or be charged $65 per child). The employer has said they have decided that they cannot agree to allow me to star my day earlier and leave earlier as they view me in a position of leadership.
I was in a position of leadership in my last job but left for an opportunity that would never be available there (they were too big to offer this type of position). Now, while there were parts of the job the frustrated me, I’m regretting that decision…and I haven’t even started my new job. I’m also concerned of what they may pull after I start there.
This can potentially be a major issue for my family, especially if they push back on the hours I need to keep when my wife does travel (we have no family in the area to help out, and many of our friends are running in different directions with their own kid’s activities).
How would I deal with this situation if they continue down this path? Should I swallow my pride and call back my former supervisor (who is a friend of mine) even knowing that his supervisor is one who wanted all new people in the department anyway? I was on that team for over 7 years. Do I begin rersearching other companies that I had applied to? The list was very short, as I was only looking for better opportunity, not because of a bad culture or anything of that sort.
Tell them that you already quit your job because you took them at their word about your hours, and if they’re backtracking now, you’ll be in quite a bind, since you’ll be out both jobs. If they have any sense of decency, there’s a good chance they’ll do the right thing.
I have a similar story as a lot of you. I just got a job offer for a great job, but the salary is on the low side. I accepted the job anyway because it’s close to home, they have good benefits, and I genuinely like the people I interviewed with. I let all of the other employers/recruiters I was working with know that I was no longer available. Literally as I’m signing the offer letter, I get an email from the one employer I didn’t notify (I didn’t notify them b/c I received email rejections from them for 4 other positions I applied for, so thought I wasn’t in contention anymore). They want to interview me. I wouldn’t even consider it, except it pays almost 20% more. At this point, it’s not about me, it’s about my family. I have 4 kids. Both positions are similar distance from home, both promote work/life balance, both have great benefits. The only difference is pay, and it’s a significant difference. Ethical dilemma: stick to my commitment, or potentially earn substantially more to support my family. Again, there is no second offer yet, just trying to figure if I should even go down that road. It could end up being nothing – who knows. I also don’t want to upset the company who gave me the first offer – I haven’t started yet, but as I said, I genuinely like them. I always believe in keeping my word, but I keep thinking how the extra money could help our family. This could be a non-issue though as I don’t have a second offer yet. I know this isn’t the worst problem I could have, but I want to do the right thing.
Small world, I am the same exact position, literally. I want to take the job with the second company, but that means burning the bridge with the first company. It sucks, but I have to think about what’s best for my family and my career.
I have a situation where I was offered a position in one area where I do not want to live, but they have openings in other areas I feel more comfortable living. Should I accept and then ask would it be possible to be placed in an area I want to live in?
No! Don’t accept a job you don’t want. Ask them now if they’d be willing to let you work in one of the other locations.
I am a college graduate and currently have two offers… i am scared of failing the background checks due to prior marijuana and drinking charges when i was 18. Would it be ok to accept both jobs, just incase one of them rejects me for the background? What if both accept me and clear the background, is it ok to back out?
Until their offer is absolutely final, your acceptance doesn’t need to be.
I mean the offers are final… just contigent on background check.. I signed both… i know its morally wrong but what if i had failed the background for one… then id be screwed
Sent out a handleful of resumes last week….I accepted a job offer yesterday, haven’t filled out at any of the paperwork yet to start the job. But today I got a call for an interview from a company for a position I more so desire with more pay, benefits. Where the other job had no benefits and lower pay. I would like to at least have the interview, no gaurentee I will be offered a job, but no hurting to see what they have to say. But if I do get offered a job, can I decline the first offer since I haven’t even started yet? Been going without having anyone interested, now I have them calling me all at once and now I don’t know what to do.
sorry, meant handful,not handleful…& sorry for any misspelled words, forgot to spell check
Help. Am an engineer. Got a GOOD job offer 6 weeks ago. Start in 2 weeks. But I have been approached with a job offer down under and salary is doubled. Current UK offer has gone all out to hire me including relocating its office. I am having ethical issues. Family wise, wife also well paid in UK but UK is stressful particularly for her. Also having had recent miscarriage, am inclined to give her a break from work by being sole earner for a while…..and Australia provides this opportunity. Heeeelpppp!
I have been at my new job for about three months, but my wife has just been offered her dream job in another state. I am being supportive of her new opportunity so we are planning to move to the new state, but I am not sure how to approach it with my current employer. Should I request to see if telecommuting from my new home would be possible? I went to college near where we are moving to and have many connections in the area so I can probably find a new job if need be, but I just feel guilty for leaving my current employer especially since they have had a lot of turn-over in my current role.