A reader writes:
I have an old boss who completely screwed me over (I should have seen the signs, but I trusted him as a friend and colleague, stupid me). A year later, I’m better off for it, but I will never forgive or forget.
Anyway, it’s now been more than a year since my departure, and a friend accidentally sent an email to my old work address. He wrote my friend back that it was sent in error. Not to all my friends who were on the thread, just to the one he knows is my best friend and who he has met before. And he made a snippy comment to her — that if I was her friend, shouldn’t her records be updated?
I feel he does this expressly to keep his one psychopathic foot in my personal life, because as at this point, personal emails are the only thing that could be filtering into that inbox, by mistake. His sham company is out of business anyway. And his writing back my friends I feel is stepping over the line.
A year later, it is normal practice to:
a) Monitor the emails of a company that no longer exists – maybe
b) Respond to my friends – not business contacts in anyway and never will be
c) Respond snidely
Yes, it’s normal to continue to monitor emails. But he sounds like a jerk. Which you already knew, so there’s not really new information for you here. I’d put it out of your mind.
As we discussed recently, employers often continue to receive email at the accounts of employees who are no longer with the company, so that they can see and deal with anything work-related that comes in there. The company owns that email account; if you choose to use it for personal things, be aware that this is a potential consequence. So that part is normal.
And frankly, writing back to your friend to let her know that her email hadn’t reached you would have been a courteous thing to do — if he hadn’t included the snide comment. (And he might have only responded to her rather than the whole group cc’d because she was the one who sent the email.)
But yes, the comment he decided to add was snide and obnoxious. He does indeed sound like an ass.
But whether or not it was an attempt to keep one psychopathic foot in your personal life,” or just general obnoxiousness, who cares? You already knew he was a jerk, you don’t work for him anymore, and he has no power over you … unless you give him that power by allowing him to take up space in your mind.
Laugh at what a twit he is, and move on.