Whether it’s inventing a non-existent coworker, poorly timed flatulence, or accidentally asking the boss how much he makes, we’ve all made mistakes in our careers that have haunted and shamed us for years afterward.
I recently asked readers to share their most cringe-worthy career mistakes, and oh did you deliver. (Those three above are among the stories you shared.) I’ve compiled the 10 most embarrassing over at the Fast Track blog by Intuit QuickBase today. You can read it here.
{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }
This wasn’t exactly my mistake, though I see how I could have done it better. It was my most cringe worthy moment though.
Last year we could actually see our merit increases before any of us were allowed to tell our employees what the increase was… This drives me crazy, so I complained to my Boss, pointing to her exactly where people can see it on our benefits website. I helped her navigate to it (over the phone) and she goes “This doesn’t show my increase, it’s the same.” There was about 8 seconds of silence when she goes “oh…”
Oh no! That’s rough.
Ha! Mine made the list (I was the nervous breakdown quantities chick). Not sure if I should be proud or cringe some more. ;)
I also realized in how I wrote it that this didn’t come across – I considered my “cover up” behavior to be cringe worthy as well; while it worked out for me, it definitely wasn’t exactly best practice.
…Even though on its own it was still a doozy.
Ah, to be 21 again.
Jenny, yours is my favorite!!! I have totally done some similar things in my professional past and had to get quite creative in order to rectify what I had done. Ah, live and learn I suppose.
29,700 units of glossy, color, laminated copies had to be EXPENSIVE. IIRC from my time at Kinkos back in the day, color prints are something like $1.00 each, with significant discounts as the units go up. But with lamination, I’d still think that bill would have to be in the 5-digits.
I can’t imagine trying to foot that bill myself. How??
Oh, I really couldn’t foot it myself — it was a panic-induced response when I paid for it with my own debit card. And my parents helped me out (replenishing my account, creating a payment plan, etc) because I was generally very responsible; this was an anomaly.
… but was it actually five figures?? Whoa.
I think it was four, but a very high four. If I recall, it would have been five figures, but we had some sort of company discount. Ha.
Ever learned about recycling? Dumping them wasnt the best idea.
Seriously? That’s your take-away here?
Yes it is… Throwing 27000 sheets in the garbage makes me cringe more than the the rest. It’s extremely disrespectful of the environment.
Yes, I have heard of recycling and I had seven years ago as well. But when you’re young and panicked that you’re about to lose your first job due to a dumb mistake, environmental concerns aren’t necessarily your primary concern in the moment. Maybe that’s seen as selfish, but it’s a reality. I was only human.
I might sound annoying, but I still think it’s wrong. What if a manager in a large corporation wasted a gigantic amount of resources because they were feeling sad/angry/panicked for whatever reason? That’d be acceptable? It’s the exact same issue, just on a larger scale.
Yes it is selfish, if everybody did that kind of stuff and blame it on emotions, our world wouldn’t be doing so well. Oh wait…
No one is arguing that it wouldn’t have been better to recycle them. Rather, we’re all recognizing that it’s really common and understandable to not think about that when you’re in a panic.
Wow.
Clearly we respond differently to different types of scenarios. I envy your ability to be completely rational no matter the circumstance.
This is a list called “Cringe-Worthy Career Mistakes,” not “Awesome Things I Did and am Really Proud Of.” You’re either missing the point or trolling.
Relax. The environment was just fine before we got here, and after we’re gone, it will clean itself as if we never existed. I hardly think her panicked mistake is going to kill the Earth.
And that’s what it was: a mistake. That’s what this post is about. People are supposed to learn from mistakes and judging by her answers, she obviously did.
…seriously? Only if by ‘fine after we’re gone’ you mean “there will still be a spherical rock here and eventually it will develop some new ecosystem or other”. They don’t really focus on ecology anymore at university, they focus on ‘and this is what we used to have and this is what we think we have and omg we have no idea how it will cope if X happens and we can’t change Y.’ 90% of my marine classes related to climate change and over fishing and pollution and exploitation in some way, because they so fundamentally affected everything we looked at. Handwaving away the fact that the majority of species and habitats are in danger, that the climate is changing, that idiot mining companies are trying to oil drill in insanely dangerous locations, that fishing companies are putting in ten times the resources to get the same amount of fish that they caught ten years ago, that most of this stuff is not easily fixable, is just… hugely offensive.
(Yeah, it was a dumb panic mistake. It’s still a reasonable reaction to scream internally at the sheer waste, though).
Handwaving away the fact that the majority of species and habitats are in danger, that the climate is changing, [...] is just… hugely offensive.
Comparing all of these things to ONE instance of a young and scared person tossing out laminated papers in panic is offensive too. She said it happened 7 years ago. I think she’s being unfairly & weirdly pummeled for what should have been just a funny story.
I think the “handwaving away” comment was in reply to the statement that the earth will be just fine, which wasn’t the OP’s :)
When people are in a panicked state of mind, they don’t always think clearly. The immediate thought for me would be, “How do I fix this gigantic f-up??!!” Worrying about recycling would be the last thing on my mind.
Seriously! I’d have probably panicked and quit and been working somewhere else as we speak under an assumed name with assumed fake hair and plastic surgery.
I think Jenny was remarkably clearheaded in comparison.
She said the paper was laminated. Laminated paper can’t be recycled (except by reusing it in some way).
Uh, YES! Right. This is why I didn’t recycle. Because of this reason.
:)
Alison — I know you might not have control over this, but there’s a spellcheck typo — “shutter” for “shudder” — in the piece. But it’s great reading.
Fixed!
Thank you!
These get better every time I read them! Absolutely hilarious – great read :)
Honored to have made the list…
I made the list! So much pride and shame. I’m sure in another 5 years ill have so many more to tell.
“We should get Wakeen to look into this” has made my day so much brighter.
Wakeen is my favorite employee ever. If I were Joaquin, I’d have kept Wakeen going to blame all my errors on.
Oh my gosh, I still have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard at that one!
You should write a book of all these ridiculous things we’ve all done… hint hint Alison! :)
Yeah, that was definitely my favorite one from the entire thread. Glad it made the article. :)
I was at a company lunch where new employees were being announced. The new employee’s name was “Jorge” (which the manager pronounced “George” as several people nearby muttered “Hoorhay” under their breath.
I was guilty of the opposite of this. We had an employee who spoke very little English named Jorge so I (have only seen it written) pronounced it Hoor-hay. Turns out he went by the pronunciation like George but no one told me for over a year.
I wish people would correct others right off when they get their name wrong – I absolutely want to call someone by the name they prefer, but if your paperwork says Jose or Katherine and your ID tag says Jose or Katherine I’m going to call you Jose or Katherine …if you don’t correct me and say “actually call me Joe” or “I go by Kate.”
Because I’m never going to presume or give people nicknames – I think that’s rude – so I go with what’s on the paperwork unless told otherwise.
I was the one with Joaquin/Wakeen. I’m glad some good could come out of my youthful stupidity!
I volunteer teaching ESL classes for recent immigrants from Spanish-speaking places. I, however, do not speak Spanish. I read your story, filed it away in the back of my mind and, as luck would have it, recently got a new student named Joaquin. Due to your post, I knew to pronounce his name Wakeen. Otherwise, I totally would have called him Joe-a-kwin, much like I spent a good four months calling another student Julia instead of HU-lia.
Thanks for sharing these. First big belly laugh I have had at work in a very long time.
Yay! I made the list (#7). I sent a link for the Intuit article to my dad, who reminded me of another whopper I pulled (also in San Francisco):
I was 15 or 16, in high school, and had worked at Round Table Pizza for over a year and was tired of my dictatorial, schizophrenic boss (the owner of the franchise, a Mr. Mansoori – can’t believe I still remember his name). As a means of telling him I was quitting, I called a competitor’s pizza chain (Cybelle’s) and ordered a pizza to be delivered to Round Table. I told the guy on the phone that I’d give a $10 tip to the delivery person if they entered from the door farthest from the counter, and walked the length of the restaurant shouting, “Pizza for Michele! Cybelle’s Pizza delivery for Michele!”
I waved from behind the counter as the driver walked past open-mouthed customers and brought the pizza to me. I told my co-workers that I’d be taking my lunch break now, and headed upstairs to the employees’ lounge. My boss was hot on my heels, screaming his head off, and yelled at me to get my things and get the “F” out of his restaurant. Which I did.
I ate the pizza on the bus ride home.
Probably not the best way to quit a job (see Beer Can Emergency Chute Guy), but epic all the same. :)
Heelarious and brilliantly executed! :)
I’m totally inventing a workplace alter ego that I can blame for all my errors. Like my very own office Snuffleupagus. “I’m so sorry. Did Yup-with-an-umlaut delete the main server again? I hate it when she does that.”
Ha! That’s a great idea – I think I’m just going to start blaming everything on Jane and Bob.
I don’t work with anyone by those names, so it’s perfect.
When my brother was little he invented The Hinkle to answer for all his misdeeds. “Son, why is your room such a mess?” “The Hinkle did it.” “Who ate all the Halloween candy??” “The Hinkle did it.”