cover letters

In our continuing Things Not to Say series, here are more things not to say in your cover letter:

• “I strongly believe your search can end today.”
Um, wow. You haven’t even talked to anyone yet to learn about the position. This kind of hyperbole doesn’t just make you look arrogant; it also makes you look naive.

• “I meet the requirements for the position.”
The opposite of the one above! The problem with this is that hundreds of candidates are going to meet the requirements. You want to explain why you’re an excellent candidate, not an adequate one.

• “The position is tailor-made for a person with my qualifications.”
If you’re going to make extravagant statements like this, you need to be really, really sure that you’re an especially strong candidate. (In this case, the person was not and it appeared to be part of a form letter that the candidate sends out with every application, not customized for this particular job. This is exactly the kind of thing that by definition doesn’t belong in a form letter.)

• Writing two paragraphs about salary (one about your salary history and bonus structure at your past jobs, and one about how salary isn’t the most important factor to you).
This is weird.

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If you’re a job seeker one year out of college and you write this in your cover letter, I’m going to be very, very skeptical:

My work experience has honed my natural ability to lead, teach, and manage personnel to produce positive results and I have become an expert in streamlining organizations. I can learn and fully understand issues and cultures at an incredible rate of speed.

Either you’re extremely unusual and I’d expect to see that reflected via highly unusual accomplishments, or you aren’t able to accurately self-assess. Or you’re trying (ineffectively) to swindle your way into a job. These last two aren’t good.

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A reader writes:

After reading through your blog, I realized I had been writing the type of cover letter that will get a resume/application sent directly to the circular file. I have since revised it, meaning I now write specific letters for each specific job for which I apply, as opposed to a less personal form letter. However, I use the same opener in each cover letter, and would like your guidance on if it is something that might make me stand out, either positively or negatively. Here’s a copy of my latest cover letter:

I am writing to apply for the position of Training Coordinator. I would like to start off by saying I am not very good at this sort of thing, writing cover letters, etc. Please do not take this as a lack of confidence in my abilities or even a false sense of humility. What it boils down to is this; how many times as a Human Resources professional can you read the same cliché and hackneyed phrases such as “motivated self-starter,” or “team player with natural born leadership abilities,” before it all just seems disingenuous? I understand that the goal of writing a cover letter is to explain why I believe that hiring me would be mutually beneficial; however, I do not want to speak in tired buzzwords or come off as a used car salesman trying to give a hard sell to a soft mark, either.

[remainder of letter redacted]

Hmmm. No.  Here’s what I think when I read this letter:  ”You’re right it’s tiresome and annoying to read those sorts of cliches, but you’re way off-base in implying that those are the only options for cover letters. Those are horrible phrases for cover letters (or any part of life, really), but why don’t you realize that you could just avoid them entirely, instead of suggesting that ‘tired buzzwords’ are the only options?”  And that that makes me think that you’re naive or unresourceful.

And that’s not a good way to introduce yourself.

You’ve also unnecessarily opened your letter on a negative note. Why not skip all this and just launch straight into the letter you want to write, rather than talking about the letter you don’t want to write, or the fact that you might not be good at it?

Also, as a neurotic grammar curmudgeon, I’m obligated to point out that you’re using a semicolon incorrectly in your fourth sentence, where you actually want a colon. Do not abuse the semicolon! It is the best of all punctuation marks.

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Please stop opening your cover letters with this sentence and all variations of it:

“I’m applying for this position because I’m the best candidate for the job.”

No, you’re not. The best candidate has the sense to know that she has no idea what the rest of the candidate pool looks like.

Somewhere along the way, someone told you to be confident and sell yourself in the job application process. But that means showing me what makes you the best candidate, not just telling me and expecting me to believe it. If you’re the best, your accomplishments are what will make that clear.

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A reader writes:

One of my recent ex co-workers asked me to review their cover letter. They used a gimmicky style where they used their name to highlight traits. An example would be “Don: D-Dedicated, O-On top of things, N-Never give up.”

They are applying to a professional accounting firm. Is this professional? I know that as accountants everyone is always looking for personality, but is this a good way to approach it?

What? Christ, no. If I got that cover letter, I would assume it was from a 12-year-old.

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A reader recently sent me one of the best cover letters I’ve ever seen, and she nicely agreed to allow me to reprint it here in case it inspires anyone else.

Note:  Don’t steal this letter or even parts of it. The reason this letter works is because it’s so customized to the writer’s situation and the job she’s applying for. The idea here is inspiration, not copying!

Here’s some background from the writer before we get to the letter itself:

I’ve been out of work (but doing freelancing) for the last several years since my company closed. My background is in marketing communications and project management. Found your blog several months ago and have been religiously following your advice on finding a job. Recently I came across a posting that sounded absolutely fantastic, except that it was obvious they were looking for an entry-level/newbie type who wasn’t going to expect to be paid very much. After checking the posting on and off for several weeks and mulling it over, I knew I was the perfect person for the job even if they didn’t know it — plus it was only 10 minutes from my house. I wrote the cover letter of the century and sent it in.

Got a call a couple of days later, and it was the guy from the ad who said, “You should know that you get the award for best cover letter ever.” We chatted for quite awhile and he asked for writing samples. A few days later I got the invite for a face-to-face, at which point I realized that this job would truly be the chance of a lifetime. We really clicked and while I could tell he was a little nervous about spending more money than he had previously decided on, he was definitely realizing what an asset I would be. The next day I got the formal offer!  I was a bit concerned that any offer might be on the low side, but it was extremely fair and I couldn’t be happier.

There’s your background. Here’s the letter, with a few identifying details redacted.

Dear ___,

As soon as I saw your posting for a ____, I knew it was the perfect position for me – and that I was the perfect solution for you. Let me explain further:

As you will see from the attached resume, I’ve worn a lot of different hats. As a freelancer I’ve run the marketing gamut. From e-blasts, public relations and web marketing to copywriting, video and print production, you name it, I’ve done it. I’m extremely motivated, organized and disciplined – you have to be to work from home – and, it’s important to note, never had a dissatisfied client.

While my official title at ____ was Project Management Coordinator, in reality I was known as the person who could do everything. Hats I wore there included copywriter, researcher extraordinaire, PowerPoint & Word guru and my favorite – She Who Must Be Obeyed (earned for riding herd on the account executives and graphics geniuses). We were a small company where everyone had to pitch in, and I thrived on the excitement of being involved at every level of every project.

No matter where I’ve been, I’ve produced topnotch work because I’m dedicated to making sure each and every piece stands out from the crowd. Whether it’s promotional work for external clients or internal corporate leave behinds, I pride myself on my ability to recognize and articulate a distinct voice for every project. And that’s not always restricted to the written word. I’ve also designed and produced unique promotional giveaways for various clients.

While writing is my passion, project management is my bread and butter. Keeping on top of projects and making sure all parts get to the finish line at the same time is one thing I do best. The ability to juggle projects and never missing a deadline didn’t just develop through my professional experience. It also comes from having three kids in four years – all with very different personalities, activities, schedules and demands. It was adapt or die trying. I’ve learned to budget my time and my assets, and most importantly, I’ve learned to be flexible and to get things done.

I know what you’re thinking – that yes, I am the perfect person for the job, but there is no way you can afford me. But I’m not in it for the money – well, I am, but it isn’t the most important thing. I’m looking for a position where my contributions count and my efforts are appreciated – and hopefully a long-term commitment. Benefits such as a short commute and flexibility mean just as much as salary to me. The fact that you’re ten minutes from my house is a big plus – and you’ll never have to worry that I’ll be late! So let’s talk soon.

Sincerely,

Rebecca Zultowski

So there you have it. So many things are great about this letter — it vividly paints a picture of Rebecca is and creates a compelling case for why she’d be great at the job, and I love the way she handled the salary question. Note that it doesn’t waste space by repeating what’s on her resume but instead adds something entirely new to her application overall. It’s also an example of how it’s okay to break the standard rules if you do it in a way that works — mentioning your kids wouldn’t normally be a good choice in a cover letter, but the way she did it here is perfect.

When I told Rebecca all this and asked for permission to post it, she replied:

I used to write very boring, run of the mill cover letters, but I found that once I started personalizing them – mentioning my kids in this one, had another one where I talked about how my parents were grammar and spelling hawks and drilled it into me – I really started getting a lot more responses. This one was really my best work if I do say so myself! :) I do have to give you total credit though. Your blog taught me to be interesting and creative with cover letters and also how to dance around the salary question. So very, very helpful!!!

Please go ahead and post it as inspiration. I know it will be plagiarized in part or whole, but I’m so happy to have landed my dream job with it that if it helps someone else so be it. I’m contributing to the greater good if even one person is inspired by it.

Now go forth with this in your head and write your own!

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A reader writes:

I was applying to jobs in advertising and I put the following paragraph in my cover letter. I haven’t been contacted by a single agency and, after reviewing my cover letter, I am concerned that putting the word “orgy” in the letter might have been inappropriate:

“Although I enjoy my current role in sales, I am looking for a position that allows me to better utilize my problem solving skills and that both inspires and applauds creativity. (As you can imagine, bringing creativity to a financial software company is like bringing the Pope to an orgy… not so much appreciated by the operations manager or the software developer.) Having performed quite a bit of research on your agency, I feel that I could make a significant contribution as well as learn quite a bit from your organization and would like to explore whether there might be a position that would match a person with my experience and skill set.”

Do you think I may get a response, or have I ruined my chances? Should I call and speak to the hiring manager and apologize for the offensive language?

Yeah, it’s inappropriate. There are some people who wouldn’t care at all (and some who may even like it because they’ll think that it shows personality), but enough who would care that it’s not worth the risk. There are other ways to convey what you were trying to say there, even ones that could show personality without turning anyone off.

In general, avoid sexual and religious references in job applications. (And definitely avoid combining them!)

I would not call to apologize, however. That’s just going to compound the weirdness. At this point, what’s done is done. Just don’t do it again!

Also, as a side note, I’d avoid the type of negativity that you had in that sentence, aside from the orgy reference. Claiming that your last company didn’t appreciate your creativity — or worse, that a whole industry doesn’t — risks making you look difficult or negative … quick to feel unappreciated, slow to realize that there may have been other reasons it didn’t go over well there, etc. Those aren’t good things. Keep it positive.

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A reader writes:

How long do you suggest job seekers spend on writing each customized cover letter? I have been really slow with this, always editing, rewriting, searching more information about the company to write the “why you” pieces, etc. There’s procrastination elements in it too, which makes it even worse. Consequently, I don’t have time to apply for enough jobs as I think I should. Do you have any suggestions on how to improve on this? How to write a impressive and tailored cover letter without having to take forever?

Well, as you know, I’m a huge proponent of customized, non-generic cover letters — letters that don’t feel like form letters and that give info about you that isn’t available from your resume.

But generally speaking, you shouldn’t be spending more than 20 minutes, tops, writing one (with the caveat that different people write at different speeds, of course).

In most cases, assuming that you’re applying for relatively similar jobs, you can have a few paragraphs that you use over and over, making minor tweaks to customize it to the specific job and adding a new opening paragraph or two to connect it to the particular job. You might have a a few different letters that you pull from, but once you’ve written a couple of them, you should be able to use a lot of your content over and over again, with only minor changes.

You shouldn’t need to do major research on the company at this stage — in most cases, you can just skim the key pages of their website so that you know what they do and what their style is. If the company is really unusual, you might spend a bit more time to make sure that you’re picking up on the cues they’re putting out there — but most companies aren’t particularly unusual.

Now, if you find your dream job, you might put more time into it — but even then, if you’re doing it right,the above should work.

As for the procrastination, tell yourself that the job is closing within 48 hours so if you want to apply at all, you need to do it now. In some cases, that’ll actually be true, so it doesn’t hurt to function as if it is.

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“Hello, my name is ___. I’m 23 and I’m applying for your ___ job.”

Generally speaking, you should probably stop introducing yourself with your age somewhere well before adulthood.

Is there anyone out there willing to admit to having done this in a cover letter who will explain to us why? I’m desperately curious.

Sincerely,
Alison Green
age 38

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