good management

A reader writes:

I have an employee who is foster-parenting two troubled teens. My employee is an amazing woman in many regards, and I am overwhelmed when I think about the commitment she is making to these girls who have been tossed around in life.

My employee has been with the organization for many years, long enough that it feels odd to have to explain “how we do things.” However, her foster children go to a high school nearby, and she has been having them walk over to our office after school and wait in a conference room working on homework until she gets off at 5 pm. Using the office for childcare—no matter the age of the children—is not “how we do things” here. We do not have an explicit policy against it—nor do we have one against setting fire to the office. It’s just not ok.

I’m ashamed to admit that I looked the other way for a while. She is no longer my direct report (her supervisor is) and I assumed that this was a short-term situation she had worked out with her supervisor. It came to light today that this is an every-day arrangement, and one of the girls recently vandalized our property.

I know that I need to address the situation, but it feels harder somehow, because she is doing such a noble thing by taking care of these girls. We work in a government setting, and service to the public is our core mission.

Do you have any words of wisdom for counseling an employee for doing the right thing in life that happens to be the wrong thing in the office?

“I admire the commitment you’ve made to these girls, but we can’t have kids staying in the office, other than on rare supervised visits.”

However, this should likely come from her manager, not from you. You should speak to her manager to get aligned with her about why this isn’t appropriate and shouldn’t have been okayed to begin with, and then her manager should speak with her. And when she does, she should own that message — not say “I don’t have a problem with it, but Jane told me I have to tell you to stop.” Otherwise you risk creating an us-vs.-them dynamic that pits you and her and her manager.

So the manager talks to her, but you can coach her on what language to use, framing, and so forth.

Regarding the fact that this feels harder because your employee is doing something good here, you’ve got to keep in mind that there are many noble pursuits out there (and some of your other employees are probably engaged in them outside of work as well), but just because something is good and noble doesn’t mean that it makes sense to bring it into the workplace, when doing so would be disruptive. Otherwise workplaces would be full of kids and foster cats and people with nowhere to sleep. There’s a reason that most workplaces aren’t, and it’s because those things would compromise their ability to deliver on their mission, and that’s what they’re there to achieve.

Assuming you feel that having kids in the office every day compromises your office’s ability to deliver on its mission (and that’s certainly a reasonable stance to take, and one most employers take), then no matter how personally kind it might be to help her out, it’s contrary to the what you’re there to get done. And a reasonable person will understand this.

That said, you can certainly offer to be flexible with her to whatever extent is reasonable — if she needs some flexibility in her schedule, for instance, and her job allows for it. But the key here is “to whatever extent is reasonable,” and that’s the piece that her manager needs to talk with her about.

By the way, if your organization or team would like to support what your employee is doing in a more easily accommodated way, one possibility is getting involved with Foster Care to Success, a nonprofit that helps foster kids pay for college, mentors them, and provides other services. It may or may not be feasible for you, but it’s worth checking out.

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A reader writes:

I have an employee who is extremely detailed in every way. This can be great in some cases, but whenever she speaks (in a meeting or just one-on-one) she is extremely long-winded. She will generally say the same thing in three different ways, and then summarize again. Her emails and written projects are novels. Texts come in 3 or 4 parts as they are so long.

I have given her feedback on being brief, told her to use bullet points, shorten her written work, given her timelines (i.e. “you have 5 minutes to explain,” etc.) but to no avail. After this feedback, she has made very minor attempts to be brief. For instance, she will sometimes ask me to review an email before she sends it, but is pretty adamant about keeping a lot of information in. I find that she is completely unaware of the issue; often before a meeting when we all agree to be brief, I will do my part (hoping to be an example) but she doesn’t pick up on it.

My main concern is that people really tune her out as she continues to speak. It really does not go well on conference calls (when it’s hard to pay attention anyway). She is starting to present to leadership, and in our company it’s all about “Be Brief, Be Bright, Be Gone.” I want her to succeed and so I really want to give her the feedback/tools she needs.

I realize this is the way she is, and I’m not sure it can be changed. Do you have any advice on these sorts of issues?

You’re absolutely right that this habit will hold her back professionally; the higher up the ladder she goes and the more she’s in front of higher-level managers, the more important it will become for her to be able to distill a message down its essentials and convey them quickly and concisely. So it’s great that you want to help her with this, because it’s going to impact her career and reputation otherwise.

It’s going to take some coaching though; it’s not going to be one or two quick conversations, because this type of thing is usually a pretty deeply ingrained habit. Assuming the rest of her work is good — and thus it’s worth a short-term investment of your time to help her improve in this area — here’s what I would do:

1. Sit down with her and say that you want to have a serious conversation with her about a work habit. I know you’ve talked with her about this before, but because it didn’t have a lasting impact, it’s time for another conversation, and this one has to feel more serious, so that it’s clear to her that you’re not just making suggestions or giving offhand advice.

Explain to her that conveying information more concisely isn’t just a style preference; it’s a business necessity in most workplaces, and it’s something that you need her to actively work on. Tell her that you’re worried that it’s impacting her professionally and will continue to do so, and that her work is good and deserves to have people pay attention to it, but they won’t if she doesn’t find a way to communicate more concisely. Tell her that you want to see her succeed, and that you want to work with her on this habit so that it doesn’t hold her back.

2. Give her specific guidelines. It’s not enough just to say “keep things shorter,” because her calibration meter in this regard is off. She can’t tell when something is too long. So you need to spell it out much more specifically. For example, you might tell her that no memo should be longer than one page and that they should be primarily written in bullet points, no email should be more than three short paragraphs, presentations should be no longer than X minutes, and she should observe how long others speak at meetings and speak no longer than that herself.

These are obviously rigid guidelines, so acknowledge that and explain that you want her to use them for now, while she adjusts to a new way of conveying information, but that she won’t need to stick to them so rigidly once conciseness has started to be more of a habit. You’re just asking her to use them for now while the two of you are working on this, not forever.

3. Coach her actively on this going forward. For instance, when you assign her a written project, give her a maximum page count at the outset. If she’s concerned that she won’t be able to include all the information she thinks should be included, talk through her thought process. As you hear what she’s worried won’t fit in, explain to her why X is important to include but Y isn’t.

And explain to her — explicitly — that higher level decision makers (and others; modify depending on the audience/context) specifically don’t want all the information. They want high-level conclusions and takeaways, and to be able to trust that that’s been backed up by thought and research before it came to them so that they don’t have to spend their time on that part. Some people genuinely don’t realize this, and they feel that their work won’t be credible or will seem incomplete if they don’t include all relevant details on the topic. Spell out for her that her audience actively doesn’t want this. To some people, this is completely counterintuitive, so you may need to remind her of it more than once.

4. Don’t rely on her picking up on hints, like you asking at the start of the meeting that everyone be brief or being brief yourself as an example. That’s not working, so you’re going to need to be more explicit. For instance, you might say in a meeting, “Jane, could you give us a quick one-minute overview of X?”  Or when it’s just the two of you, “This is a bit more than I need; I trust you to have the details covered without me needing to be in the loop. What are the parts that you need my input on?” (Or “Tell me just what you think is most important.”)  You can also give her time cues at the start of conversations: “We only have 20 minutes and I’m hoping we can cover X, Y, and Z in that time.”

5. And last, make sure to give her feedback along the way, whether it’s “The start to your presentation on the call was great, but I think you started losing people when you started talking about the details of how the new software will work” or ”This memo is a great example of you putting into practice what we talked about, and I love how you conveyed all the high-level information in an easy-to-skim way.”

If you’re willing to invest some time to do all the the above, you should either see a real change in the next few months, or not. If you don’t, then you’ll need to decide how much of an issue this is for her performance. Lack of improvement might mean that she gets fewer/no opportunities to present before senior management, or that she’ll never be your first choice for higher-profile projects, or that it impacts her ability to progress in the organization. Or it might just mean that you’ll have to continue sending projects back to her with instructions to shorten them. Whatever the likely consequences, talk to her about them explicitly so that she’s clear on what the trade-off is that she’s making.

But with a couple months of focused coaching on this, I think you have a good chance of helping her overcome the habit pretty significantly. Good luck!

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A reader writes:

I work in an organization that has frequent changes in policies, which requires ongoing adaptation to our assessment and decision-making processes. How do I manage older employees who are struggling to learn to use new processes and technology, resulting in significant time lags in completing their work? Many of these employees have had an excellent track record in their work but are unable to adapt to new systems and skills. I get so frustrated that I wind up doing the work for them, but then too much burden is on me!

In addition, how do I deal with employee resistance to and frequent anxiety around constant systemic changes?

You can read my answer to this question — along with answers from three other experts — over at the Fast Track blog by Intuit QuickBase today.

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A reader writes:

One of my direct reports is a woman who is absolutely kick-ass at what she does, but I don’t think she bathes frequently and I suspect she’s wearing dirty clothes to work sometimes. She often has a pungent aroma about her. It isn’t body odor exactly, but there is a definite funky smell that lingers even after she walks away. Someone mentioned that he hates having her come see him in the morning because he’ll be smelling her in his office all day. And he LIKES her. I can only imagine what those who don’t are saying.

People are also commenting on her unkempt and/or torn clothes (and not fashionably torn). Our office culture is pretty laid-back. Jeans and t-shirts are okay here. You really have to be working at it for your slovenly appearance to be noted and commented on. She did not dress this way when her previous manager hired her; she seemed more pulled together then, and I don’t remember her smelling, either.

I believe she is being treated for depression. If this lack of self-care is part of a bigger mental health problem, is it right for me to meddle? I think her self-esteem is shaky and I’m terrified of saying something that would make that worse. If it were me, I would hope someone would have the guts to say something. But the fact that she does not seem to be taking care of herself generally—hair, makeup, clothes, hygiene—makes me think maybe she just doesn’t care, or does not have the emotional strength to do so at the moment. Scary.

I sought help from HR but got only links to articles (one of which said pointedly that HR people should refuse to handle these issues and kick them back to managers). Meet with the employee, one said, and allow the worker a chance to offer an explanation. Good so far—but then it went on to say the manager should suggest action steps (get a physical, see a dentist) and explain there will be “consequences” if the employee does not make headway. And how do we measure that? By critiquing their appearance or smell every day, or grilling them about whether they went to the doctor? This does not seem to be an area where a manager should be butting in, even if people are holding their noses.

Yes, it really is an area where a manager should speak up. You should speak up because it’s affecting the way she’s perceived (and it will potentially affect the way your company is perceived if she deals with clients in-person or even just with other visitors to the office). You should also speak up because it’s affecting her coworkers and her relationships with them.

It’s reasonable for an employer to to set clear expectations for dress and hygiene at work, and to enforce those standards when people are falling short of them. And while I understand that you’re hesitant to interfere if it’s related to her depression, it’s really quite reasonable to expect people to adhere to office dress codes and hygiene standards even when depression might be in play.

And at this point, the issue is harming her at work; people are talking about it, and even dreading her visits to their offices. Please do her a favor and talk to her about it.

Now, this is going to be an awkward conversation; there’s no way around that. But you have plenty of awkward conversations as a manager; it’s part of the job. This one is more awkward than most, because most of us have very little practice at this kind of thing — but it has to be done.

The best thing you can do is to simply be honest, direct, and as kind as possible. I’d meet privately with her at the end of the day (rather than doing it earlier on, since she’d then probably feel self-conscious the whole rest of the day). Get the clothing part out of the way first because it’s the easier piece, and then address the odor. Start by saying something like, “I’ve noticed that lately you’ve been wearing clothes that fall outside of our dress code — things that are ripped or unkempt. As you know, jeans and t-shirts are fine here, but they do need to look put-together – no holes or (fill in here with specifics about what she’s been wearing that’s a problem).”

At this point, most people will say something indicating that they’ll comply with the dress code moving forward. (But if she doesn’t, then explain that while the dress code is informal, it’s not anything-goes, and you do need to require her to adhere to it, just like any other office policy.)

From there, say something like, “I want to mention something else as well. It’s awkward, and I hope I don’t offend you. You’ve had a noticeable odor lately. It might be a need to wash clothes more frequently or shower more, or it could be a medical problem. This is the kind of thing that people often don’t realize about themselves, so I wanted to bring it to your attention and ask you to see what you can do about it.”

Note that there’s nothing here about telling her there will be “consequences,” despite what that article that you read recommended. That’s overly harsh at this stage, when there’s no indication that it’s warranted. Let her know it’s a problem and ask her to take care of it. If she doesn’t and you continue to notice the problem, then yes, you would need to talk to her again and let her know that she’s expected to come to work showered and with her clothes laundered, and that you’re concerned that the problem has continued after your earlier conversation. But in most cases, a one-time conversation is going to take care of the problem and you won’t need to get into consequences or warnings or so forth.

If she does indicate to you that it’s related to depression —  for instance, that it’s hard to get out of bed in the morning and so she’s been skipping showers — you can certainly be empathetic (and refer her to your EAP, if you have one), but explain that you do need employees to come to work smelling clean.

However, keep in mind that it’s possible that there is a medical reason for the problem (meaning a physical condition that causes an odor, not as in not showering because of depression). If she tells you that’s the case, then at that point there’s not much further you should do, other than thanking her for telling you. But whether she volunteers that or not is entirely her call; you should not be asking her whether she’s seen a doctor or what might be wrong with her. Your job is simply to require her to come to work with appropriate dress and hygiene until/unless she tells you there’s a medical issue preventing that — just like you require people to come to work on time, not fall sleep at their desks, and other basic requirements of showing up ready to work.

Needless to say, this is not going to be an easy conversation. But you can’t let that be a reason not to do it — your HR department is right that as her manager, this is your responsibility to handle.

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A reader writes:

I have two direct reports with two very different working styles.

One is more independent and usually runs with the project — she asks me for help or advice if something comes up. When she shares various projects with me, there are usually a couple of minor items that need correcting, which I share with her for next time. The next time she shows me a project, I see the same items that need correcting. I started to wonder if it was my communication style, so I also shared the corrections via email so it’s in writing. But the same thing happens again, regardless if I talked to her about it or wrote it down.

My second direct report needs a little more hand holding so there is constant communication. There are two extremes to his working style — he either gets wrapped up in the details and forgets the project objective so I need to bring him back on track or he rushes to finish the project, but neglects the details so there are multiple revisions and drafts. As with my other employee, I have communicated the project details and objectives verbally and also through email so he can refer to his notes, but I find him making the same errors or not paying attention to the details when we work on the next project.

One of the things I have wanted to avoid since becoming a manager was to not micromanage my staff. I understand there needs to be some micromanaging to make sure the team is on track with company goals and to make sure their priorities are clearly understood so they don’t waste their day working on unnecessary items.

Without becoming an uber micromanager, how can I communicate to my two reports that they need to pay attention to the details because the same mistakes are constantly being made and it is noticed not only by me, but the clients if they don’t show me the drafts?

I do not know if they are not listening to me or they are working too fast and forget. When I share my thoughts and offer suggestions I try to explain the reasoning so they both know, it’s not because “I told you so!” but actually the reason why we “use this terminology” or why we “decided to go with this format,” etc. I’m at the point where I really want to say (but never will), “This has happened multiple times and it shows that you are not listening to me — you need to start showing me every project you are working on because I no longer can depend that you are learning from past mistakes and putting effort into your work.”

It sounds like you’re so focused on not wanting to be a micromanager that you’re missing the fact that your employees have legitimate performance issues that you should be addressing.

It is not micromanaging to clearly explain what a work product or outcome should look like, or to ask that work be done correctly, or to expect people to incorporate your feedback into their work in the future. That’s managing.

And there are times when a good manager should manage more closely than that as well, such as when an employee isn’t moving work forward, or it’s not being done well, or results are disappointing. Of course, if your close involvement is needed for a long stretch, it might be a sign that you don’t have the right person in the job and you’ll need to address that — but the answer meanwhile isn’t to stay hands-off if the work isn’t being done correctly.

So it sounds like it’s time to have a conversation with each of these two employees about the pattern you’re seeing. This is the step that managers often miss when they have concerns about someone’s work — they continue addressing each instance of the problem, and they get increasingly frustrated and concerned about the pattern, but they don’t sit down with the person and say, “Hey, we have a pattern here.” They assume the person sees the pattern as clearly as they do, but they never spell it out.

But you need to spell it out, because your employee may not see it as a pattern or realize that it’s risen to the level of a serious concern.

So with the first employee, say something like this: “We’ve talked several times before about making sure that I don’t need to make corrections to X, Y, and Z, but work keeps coming to me with those same mistakes in it. It’s become a pattern. What can you do differently going forward to ensure that it doesn’t continue to happen?”

With the second employee, you need to have a bigger conversation, because the problems are more serious. You should not need to have so much handholding that there’s “constant communication,” and it’s a real problem that he forgets project objectives and neglects details to the point that there are multiples revisions and drafts required. With him, I think you need to consider that he might not be the right person for the job … but the place to start is by being very clear with him about the bar for performance that you need in the role (someone who doesn’t rush and make mistakes, someone who keeps their eye on the big-picture objective but still pays attention to the details, and someone who produces high-enough quality work that it can be finalized without so many revisions). Tell him what a successful performance in the role would look like, tell him where he’s not meeting that bar, and tell him that you need to see real improvement from him.

(And if the problems continue, at that point you’ll need to consider whether you need someone else in the role.)

The point here, overall, is that your job as a manager is to make sure that you’re getting the results you need. Part of getting great results in the long-term is hiring great people and giving them room to do their jobs well. But if you’re not getting the type of results you want — or if it’s taking an unreasonable amount of time to get them — then you need to step in and get more involved.

In your case, I think you’ve swung so far in the “I don’t want to be a micromanager! Eeeekk, it’s a dirty word!” direction that you’re hesitating to actually manage.

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A reader writes:

I have just hired a part-time administrative assistant that started on Monday. She works for us in the morning and cares for her mother in the afternoon. This morning, I recevied an email from her stating she was unable to come in today because of something she needed to help her mother with. While I sympathize as I’m sure caring for an ailing mother is not an easy undertaking, I’m not at all excited about her calling in after only two days on the job.

Should I address this with her tomorrow morning when she arrives or wait to see if this is an isolated incident? Also, any suggestions on how I talk to her about this? I need to communicate to her that I need reliable people on my team and right now, I’m uncertain she is a reliable team member.

You should probably talk with her.

While it’s certainly true that emergencies can come up during your first week on the job, most people are mortified when they do — because they know that they’re still proving themselves, that it’s not a great idea to miss work during your first week, and that an employer is likely to have exactly the worries that you’re having. So most people in this situation will stress that they’re mortified, that this is out of character, etc. — they won’t sound cavalier or matter-of-fact about it.

The fact that your employee didn’t handle it that way — it sounds like her email was pretty matter of fact — is much more troubling than the fact that she had to take the morning off. After all, you’d probably be having a much different reaction if she’d called you rather than emailed, sounded mortified, and assured you this wouldn’t be a regular thing, right? (You’d still probably be a little concerned because that’s human nature when you don’t yet have a ton of data points on someone, but you probably wouldn’t be quite as uneasy as you are now.)

So, while you could certainly wait and see if there are other problems, the way she handled this strongly suggests that there are going to be other problems, and so it’s worth talking with her when she’s back tomorrow.

I’d start by asking her if everything is okay, because that’s a kind thing to do in this context, and then say something like this: “I realize that sometimes things come up and it’s just bad timing, but because we so rarely have people miss work in their first week — their first month, really — I want to make sure that the scheduling needs of this role are going to work for you going forward. I want to be up-front with you that I generally need the person in your role to be here every day, unless it’s pre-planned vacation time or a very rare absence that can’t be planned, such as sickness. We can’t easily accommodate more than a few unplanned absences per year. And again, I realize that on occasion something will come up, and sometimes it’ll have the bad timing to do it during someone’s first week, but since we’re just starting to work together, I wanted to raise this and make sure it works for you.”

Make sure to use a kind and sympathetic tone during this conversation. If she’s truly a conscientious employee who just had bad luck during her first week, you shouldn’t come down hard on her, and keeping your tone kind can help with that. And if she’s not really a conscientious employee, using a kind tone isn’t going to detract from the substance of the message.

But here’s the thing: If she’s not an especially conscientious employee and therefore needs to hear this message, it’s already over. There are going to be more problems with reliability and more problems with work ethic (and maybe other problems too, like quality of work, because they often — although not always — go hand in hand).

So why have this conversation at all then? Why not just wait and see if those other problems appear and address it then (by letting her go and hiring someone better)? You could — that’s one option. But by addressing it up-front now, you’re making your expectations clear and ensuring that you won’t be starting from scratch the next time there’s a problem. If she’s not the right employee for you, then you want to end this as soon as possible before you’ve invested more time in training, etc., and by having this conversation now, you’re setting the stage for moving quickly in the next few weeks if you continue to see problems. (Plus, it’s possible that this conversation could lead to her deciding on her own that it’s not the right fit.)

And if she is a conscientious employee and this was really a legitimate emergency that isn’t indicative of a problem with her work ethic or reliability, she’s going to understand why you’re raising this. (That said, you still might make a point of being particularly kind and welcoming to her the rest of the week so that she doesn’t feel misunderstood or like she’s been chastised and sent to the corner, because a conscientious person will be wondering if she’s just ruined her standing in your eyes. So show her that she hasn’t.)

If I had to bet money on the most likely outcome, I’d say this isn’t going to end well and you should be preparing yourself for that … but that’s not a guarantee and it’s possible that she’s a conscientious person with one piece of bad luck. This approach accounts for both, but you’ll know soon enough which you’re dealing with. Good luck.

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If you’re thinking about taking on a management role, before you make the move, make sure you’ve thought through what it really takes to be a manager. Parts of the job are painfully hard, and it’s not for everyone.

Over at U.S. News & World Report today, I talk about some key questions you should ask yourself before signing up to manage, including whether you’re comfortable hiring and managing people smarter than you, whether you know how to get things done without resorting to fear tactics, whether you deliver difficult criticism, and more. You can read it here.

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Here’s the second of our “ask the readers” questions today. This reader writes:

I am a male in a mostly female organization. However, I find myself in a middle management position with about 10 reports. Today when I was making rounds to check in on people, one of my reports appeared sad. I asked if everything was alright and at that point I could see she was on the verge of tears. I knew if I asked anything more she would have started to cry, embarrassing her in front of five other coworkers who sit in her office space. I assumed the issue was not work-related and I excused myself.

I have a good rapport with her, but I do not know if I should ask her now if she would like to talk about it in my office or let her handle it? Maybe it’s as easy as finding out if it’s work or home related before pressing the conversation forward.

Readers, what say you?

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If you’re like most managers, chances are good that you have at least some habits that irritate your employees. And if you’re like most managers, you might not realize what they are.

Over at the Fast Track blog by Intuit QuickBase today, I talk about 10 of the most common ways that managers frustrate and annoy their employees — including changing your mind about projects when they’re partway through, not dealing with problem employees, complaining about your own boss to the people below you, and more. See if you recognize yourself (or your own manager) in the list, which you can read here.

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