happy endings

One more update after all!  This is from the reader who was struggling with whether to tell her conservative coworkers that she’s gay, and who was worried it could affect her treatment at work:

I came out to a handful of co-workers in May 2011, and assume that most people at my office know by now. Some people say awkward but unoffensive things, but most are completely indifferent. The nice thing about working at a law firm is that my bosses really just care about the quality and quantity of my work (ie, are the clients happy and have I met my billable hours requirements).

As most of the other commenters suggested, it’s a huge relief to be out, and I really appreciate all of the support I found here. My office doesn’t have an EEOC policy (but I’m in a jurisdiction where employment discrimination based on sexual orientation is illegal), so this has encouraged me to become more active in firm management/employment policy issues as well, since if I don’t say anything, it’s certain that nobody else will either. So while coming out at work obviously isn’t appropriate for everyone, it was definitely the right decision for me.

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Back in February, we heard from a reader struggling with unemployment, worrying that she would have to be perfect in order to ever get a job, and wondering how she could stop putting so much pressure on herself. Here’s her update:

My job search continued for the next seven months. In that time, I interviewed for a couple more jobs and a had a nine-day (!) stint at a food court restaurant at the mall that did not work out for me. I was a poor fit for the culture, as pretty much all the other employees were high school and young college students who I did not fit in with. I continued to look for other jobs, but just could not get in the door and I was getting increasingly frustrated.

However, I was working part-time from home as a copy editor for a big website in my desired industry. I stayed at that job while searching, figuring I was making money and that there were people making no money. In July, I interviewed for a temporary job with a major employer in my region and eventually got an offer. I was excited and ready to start, but while on a previously planned vacation (which was not going to interfere with my start date), I began to have doubts. I wanted to stay where I was and keep working as a copy editor and possibly move up in that company. The temporary job paid well, but it was not in my chosen field and I was told there was no possibility of being offered a full-time job upon completion.

So I turned down the temporary job, and I now work full-time for the website where I started off as an unpaid intern in May 2010, then moved up to being a paid part-time member of the staff, and three months ago, I got a raise and was promoted to full-time. I work from home, so I don’t have to worry about buying nice clothes for work, and everyone I work with is very supportive and willing to help each other out. If I need time off, it’s really easy to get, and I have the option of making up hours missed on a day off. Although the job has challenges, there would be challenges no matter what kind of job I had, so I can accept them easily.

I eventually want to be a full-time freelance copywriter or work in media relations for a professional sports team. I know that my field is really competitive and that it will take hard work, but I feel more ready than ever to handle it.

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Remember the reader who had been invited to the office holiday party before she’d started at her new job but was afraid it would be awkward since she didn’t know anyone and didn’t really want to go? Here’s the update:

I wanted to give a quick update on the Christmas Party before I started work. I am about to finish up my first week on the job and I am so glad I took the time to go. The party was much smaller than I expected, so I did end up staying longer than I really wanted to but it was worth it. I met all but one of my coworkers, which made Monday so much more comfortable. When they took me out to lunch, people followed up things they had heard me say Friday night, rather than making small talk. I also reconnected with an old acquaintance from a different section of a professional organization I was a member of in college. To top it all off, my manager included me in the gifts he gave to each team member (a $50 gift card) and wrote a personal note about how glad he was to work with me.

So to anyone interested, it was a good decision. It was exhausting but worth it.

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This is an update from the reader who was wondering whether eight months was long enough to stay in a first job and who wanted to find a higher-paying position (the second-to-last question here). Here’s the update:

So I only took part of your advice.  Despite your recommendation to stay in my first job for a year, I had to apply to the “perfect job” despite only 10 months of post graduate degree experience.  I did focus, as you suggested, on my reasons for wanting the positions that did not relate to money.  I was offered the position (same title, similar work, 20K more in salary) and accepted.  I am so happy in my new role.  Not only are finances no longer a pressing concern, but my office and the clients I work with are absolutely amazing!  And, despite not being on the job hunt currently, I still read your blog religiously.

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Here’s our next “where are they now” update. This one is from the reader whose friend was getting married on the weekend her new company had an all-hands-on-deck event. Here’s her update:

Thanks to everyone for your encouragement. I talked to my friend and explained my situation to her — telling her how much I want to be at her wedding but also explaining that I don’t want to make a negative impression in my first year at this new dream job. Luckily (but also obviously), she totally understands as she is such a good friend to me. Was she disappointed? Of course, but I suggested that I hope to make it up to her by flying out to California a month or so after the wedding to spend the weekend with her and the new husband and I think that is *almost* as good as I will treat the happy couple to wine-tasting or a foodie-type dinner and actually get to spend a lot of time with them!

I am attending her wedding shower next week and am re-arranging things at work to attend and help plan her bachelorette party! Although the wedding is not till April, I feel confident in my decision to support both my work colleagues and celebrate one of my best friend’s wedding!

Also apparently my friend’s fiance was in a similar situation where he chose the wedding over work and has not stopped hearing the end of it. After a couple of years in this job, I feel I would have a little more flexibility, but I am trying to build a career and some of those first-year impressions can really stick.

I still love my job and absolutely adore attending weddings. I am SO grateful that my friend was so understanding, and I feel that I am adequately making this up to her. Thanks to everyone for your help, encouragement, and support!

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Are you guys ready for a flood of “where are they now” updates from readers who had their questions answered here this year? I’m getting a lot of updates, and I’ll be posting them here throughout the month (along with regular posts too).

Our first update is from the reader who had an intern from hell living with her. After the intern was fired for various well-deserved reasons, she and her friends started tweeting awful things about our reader and her company. The reader was worried about how this might damage her own reputation and how to handle future reference calls. Here’s her update:

Alas, there’s no heartwarming tale of redemption here. She never called me to apologize and tearfully profess how much she’d learned from the experience, there was no metaphorical hug-and-share-and-love-and-grow moment. Professionally I know that can’t be expected. this isn’t a Sweet Valley High book, even if she did behave like a teenage.

What did happen: after we fired her, she absconded back home, taking with her my spare phone I might add, as well as never turning in the last few assignements she had assured me she had finished. My first week in my main head office was a little rough: I was nervous people were going to hold her behaviour against me. Thankfully, they were mostly just baffled. i took the advice of your readers and either didn’t bring it up, or addressed it directly with my boss and my web guy head on privately. They were incredibly cool and sympathetic about it. I later found out through the office grapevine that my boss, who is based in the main office and only sees me in person once or twice a month, had railed against the intern privately to some coworkers at after work drinks one night, along the lines of how dare she do this to me, after everything I’ve done for her. So it turned out he actually had my back pretty well, and it’s all settled fairly nicely. I’ve also been in touch with the school, and after our last conversation about this, the head of the internship program (who incidentally was one of my professors while I was at school) said as an aside how ‘impressed she was with how professionally and reasonably I handled this.” So, as some of your ever-helpful readers speculated, I may have even increased my own reputation by not melting down over this.

As for the intern herself, I did keep a few tabs on her after she left. The tweets eventually stopped. After speaking with my boss and HR, they thought it would be less confrontational if I approached the Twitter Fiend Friend directly, to ask her to remove the tweets. She’s also an alum from my university, so I think the thinking was that would be casual and have it all stop with a minimum of drama. Her response was acres of vitriol, demanding to know what had happened and why the intern was ‘really’ fired before she’d even consider removing her posts (I informed her that that sort of thing was confidential between the intern adn the company, and ended that email chain). She was in dragon slaying mode for a long time though, and I still occassionally get tagged in posts from her, usually when she’s in an Occupy Wall Street mode and I apparently become the empodiment of the entitled ‘man’ keeping she and her special little snowflake friends ‘down’. I mostly try to laugh at these now, as she doesn’t seem to realize I’m no where near the age, affluence etc of this evil corporate figurehead she seems to want to battle. She is deeply involved in the whole no-more-unpaid-internship movements and I’m told by friends that I’ve even been referenced in a megaphone speech at a rally as a symbol of what will eventually destroy our industry. And that people like me should take our bloated salaries and bonus’ and use those to pay our slaves (um, what bonus? Has she looked at salary expectations in our fields? Anemic, not bloated. I’m lucky I can afford cheese). I’ve heard she’s since had a hard time finding full-time employment: my guess? She comes off a little too radical, hard to work with, etc, which is clear the minute you google her and see her blog and twitter accounts. And trust me, people in my field are googling.

As for the Intern herself. . .My company’s name still appears on the online portfolio she is sending to employers. She never removed it, and the way it has it phrased makes it sound like she completed the entire internship with us. Soon after all of this went down, I was having a conversation with a friend back home about it. I didn’t use names, just called her the Evil Intern, adn in the middle she stopped me and said ‘wait, is this so and so?’ Turns out Intern had pulled similar all sizzle and no steak drama at my friend’s workplace the summer before, but since that wasn’t an internship set up by the school, no one ever knew about it. As my friend told it, Intern swooped in and pushed her way into the centre, taking on projects and pitching ideas and claiming she’d do all this amazing stuff. . . and then never delivered in person. Then one day she just stopped turning up at all.

Soon enough, another friend approached me because she had been contacted by the school to have Intern finish her six weeks with her company. The school had briefly told her that Intern hadn’t worked out with me, and my friend wanted to find out why. I told her as diplomatically as I could, just the facts, keeping out the emotion, but Intern didn’t get that posting either. I eventually found out she got one in another city, and through aquaintences found she scraped by there. She finished the program, however I’ve been told by profs at the school who I keep in touch with that several of them turned her down when she approached them to be references: which is crucial coming out of school, as professors are often the only industry-related recommendations you have. She’s since gotten a job, not in our field, but in one of those periphery-to-it type jobs, where she’s ironically enough in charge of their website and social media.

As for me, in the almost-year since this went down, I’ve been promoted :) SO I guess this didn’t ruin my reputation as much as I’d feared!

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happy endings

May 24, 2011

In response to a dejected commenter last night, I’ve created a new category: happy endings. There are 20 or so posts in there with happy endings — stories that ended well, with jobs landed, jerks receiving their comeuppance, and much more.

Cheer yourself up by reading them!

Other fun categories to read include jerks and bad interviewer behavior, although those perhaps aren’t quite as cheery. You can find the full category list to the right (middle sidebar, under the post index).

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It doesn’t get much more challenging than being an entry-level long-distance job-seeker applying for jobs in New York. Which is why you should listen to me when I preach and lecture and yell about cover letters.

A reader writes:

I wanted to thank you for all of the job-hunting advice on your blog, especially the parts about cover letters. After you posted the link to Kimberlee’s cover letter, I started sending out letters that sounded more like me (I had been writing letters specific to each job already, thanks to your advice). It felt like a pretty big gamble, but I wasn’t hearing anything back from my generic-y, extremely formal letters so I figured I had nothing to lose.

I’ve only had the chance to send out two, but both of those yielded interviews and then offers! I’m an entry-level out-of-towner applying for jobs in New York, so getting two offers in less than a week is extra-amazing. One hiring manager said she only ever interviewed New Yorkers for entry level positions, but my cover letter was so great that she had to meet me. I would have never thought to send that kind of letter without your advice and examples. And I used your e-book to prep the hell out my interviews. Feeling confident in my answers to the questions on your list helped me come up with good, solid answers to questions I never saw coming. So thank you, thank you, thank you!

It’s a temporary position (still better than what I had before) so I’ll have to keep job-hunting for the near future, but I feel a lot better about the process and my prospects thanks to you and your blog.

Congratulations!  And thanks for illustrating why a great cover letter that sounds like you and isn’t stiff and formal is worth putting in the time. (As is reading my e-book, obvs. If anyone’s inspired by this story and wants to read my How to Get a Job: Secrets of a Hiring Manager, you can get a 20% discount by using this code: spring2011 .)

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I’m not going to say I told you so, but … yes, actually I am. I told you so.

This is an update from the letter-writer from last Sunday, who couldn’t figure out why an interviewer who had seemed really enthusiastic had suddenly gone AWOL and hadn’t gotten back to her:

Just wanted to provide an update. I got the job offer today! I was excited and relieved to have my job search time be cut short this time.

A note to anyone else who else is stuck in the after the interview waiting game, the HR rep gave me some great feedback. She said she appreciated that I checked in once with a polite short e-mail to know I was still interested when the decision slowed down. She did note that some other candidates in the past would send unprofessional e-mails, full of spelling and grammar errors, so it was refreshing to see someone know how to do the professional follow-up. I am now thankful for the 5 times I read the e-mail before I sent it! Good luck to everyone else, and thank you for posting my question :)

Told you so.

It’s worth reiterating:  Yes, sometimes when an employer isn’t getting back to you, it is indeed bad news. But sometimes — especially if it’s been less than a few weeks — it just means that things are taking longer than they’d planned … because someone is sick, or there’s a budget question that needs to be resolved, or they’ve just gotten sidetracked with higher priorities. Stay patient, remember that employer time runs on a whole different speed than candidate time, and distract yourself with other things (like this or this or this).

And congratulations, original letter-writer.

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Here’s another update from a reader. Remember the woman who was afraid that her old employer was going to out her as transgender to a new prospective employer? Here’s her update.

I’ve been pretty busy… with my new job! With the company I’ve always wanted to work for! In a city I’ve always dreamed of living in! It’s going really well.

I never said anything to HR, and nothing ever came up. I don’t know if they didn’t talk to my old team, or they did and they just don’t care. Based on a conversation with one of my references, I get the impression it’s the former — the recruiter asked pretty standard questions, and didn’t ask her to refer him to anyone else. Whatever happened, it’s all turned out fine, so the specifics don’t really matter to me.

My new team is excellent! I have a great rapport with all of them, and I really like them as people, which is definitely a new experience for me. (You’ll be pleased to hear that I like my manager a lot, too.)

And the cherry on top of all this? I’m now making twice what I used to.

So everything turned out really, really great. My only regret is waiting so long to leave my old job. Thanks for everything!


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