rejections

A reader writes:

I credit your advice on resumes for helping me get a recent interview with a company for my dream job: a small publisher (~12 employees), in a city I want to live in, as an assistant editor (I am trying to get into publishing,) working on book topics I am interested in.

I had the interview last Thursday, and it seemed to go well. I spent about an hour each with the CEO/publisher and his senior editor talking about the position, my interest in it, larger questions about publishing, etc. After a few minutes of initial nervousness, I felt things went great and left feeling buoyant and looking forward to the next two things they wanted me to do: write a acquisitions topic proposal and take an editing skills test. I thanked them that night via email and everyone seemed happy.

Well, the next day over email, when I was discussing the topic proposal (it was made clear that I should feel free to consult them, as part of the exercise was seeing what it would be like to work with me), the CEO rearranged things; instead of doing the editing skills test on Monday, they wanted to see the topic proposal first. Well, one of the things I had been clear about during the interview was that I had no experience and little interest in acquisitions, but since everyone was expected to contribute there (because it’s a small shop) I was willing to step up and work at it. So I was a little worried about this new plan, but went ahead and spent the weekend researching and writing up a brief topic proposal, about a page and a quarter. I sent it in Sunday night and then waited.

Monday, and Tuesday I heard nothing back. So after business hours Tuesday I sent a brief email saying I was nervous and asking for an update. About an hour later I received a reply that they “didn’t feel they had a good fit.” I thanked him for getting back to me, and asked for any feedback. I have not received any.

I am wondering how I could have handled things differently. I knew that whatever topic proposal I came up with would be weak; I have no experience doing acquisitions work, and I am trying to move into publishing after only graduating in 2010. (I have had two different jobs in the meantime, which have given me reasonably applicable skills. Especially for assistantships.) Is there anything in this narrative that catches your eye? Do you think it’d be wise to more vigorously pursue feedback? Should I have tried to do the editing skills test first, and had the test I’d be weaker at come second?

I think you’re looking for things to read into in all of this, but what’s most likely is that they just didn’t think you were the right fit. It’s often no more complicated than that.

But no, you should not have tried to do the editing test first, when they specifically told you they wanted you to do the topic proposal first. And if the topic proposal was a deal-breaker for them, it was likely to be a deal-breaker even if they’d seen a flawless editing test first. (It’s also possible that they rearranged the order of the tests specifically because the topic proposal was what they had the most doubts about, and they figured they might as well have you do that first and save everyone time if that showed it wasn’t the right fit.)

I also think you shouldn’t be crushed that the topic proposal might be what took you out of the running, because you yourself say that you “have no experience and little interest in” acquisitions, and that you told them that in the interview. It’s a small shop where they expect everyone to play a role in that, so it’s not terribly surprising that having no interest or experience in it could end up being a deal-breaker — it’s likely that they figured they’d see how that lack of interest/experience played out on a simulated work assignment, and ultimately decided that, indeed, that just wasn’t the right profile for them. Which means that it’s not the right fit for you either, because you don’t want to end up a job that you struggle to do well in or to stay engaged with.

One more thing: While I doubt this was a deciding factor on its own, I wouldn’t have sent that email on Tuesday saying that you were nervous and asking for an update. First, pushing for an update only two days after sending in your exercise is a little too much — most employers are busy and have lots of things going on other than hiring, and this is especially true in publishing, where people tend to be really overworked; two days is just too soon. And second, saying that you’re nervous in an email like that comes across … well, not especially professionally. It’s not that employers expect you to be some sort of superhuman with no nerves, but mentioning it your email comes across a little like asking for hand-holding, or asking them to modify their time table to accommodate your nerves, and most busy employers aren’t enthused about signing up for that.

In any case:  Don’t continue to ask for feedback — you asked once, they declined to respond, and that’s the end of that. You can’t force feedback; it’s optional for an employer. At this point, I’d just move on. Not every job will be the right fit, and that’s okay.

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A reader writes:

I am a manager of a small business. I have hired three new people since my start here two years ago. In all of those hiring processes, the same person has been an unsuccessful candidate each time: She’s someone who looks great on paper, but did NOT do well in the interview. She has been rude and egotistical (“I am overqualified for this job…I could do YOUR job just fine!”) and gave some downright bad answers to some of the questions (for example, when asked how she would deal with a troublesome group of teenagers in the store, she said that she would demand they tell her their names so that she could call their parents!). I imagined a future of working with a know-it-all who thinks she can do my job better than me … and being clueless about how the business works. I did not hire her.

Since then, I have run into her in public, and she has greeted me with a sarcastic, “How’s the person you hired instead of me turning out?” She has also asked me, sadly, why I did not hire her. I said that, in each case, it has been a strong applicant pool and it was close.

Well … I’m hiring again. And she applied, again. This time, she did not make the final cut to be interviewed. I expect that she will want to talk with me about it again.

Part of me wants to give her a piece of my mind if she comes after me with a sarcastic remark the next time she accosts me with a snarky barb. Part of me wants to sit her down and explain that I did not hire her because she has a bad attitude and, while she has a good resume, her skills do not translate to the work we are doing.

What should I do? Do I give feedback or not? I should point out that she is a long-term resident of the town, friends with a lot of people, and I am very new in town.

This is a situation where I wouldn’t give feedback, since your feedback basically amounts to, “You have bad judgment and poor people skills.”  These are hugely sound reasons for not hiring someone, but they make for an awkward feedback conversation. You could certainly euphemize it into something like, “We’re a small business here, and so culture fit (or personality fit) is really important” — but she sounds like someone who wouldn’t let that go and would push you to explain exactly what you meant.

So I’d skip the feedback, tempting as it might be. Besides, you’re not obligated to explain to job candidates why you didn’t hire them.

If she asks you again why you didn’t hire her (or this time why you didn’t interview her), I’d stick with something vague:  ”We had a strong group of candidates and had to turn away a lot of qualified people.”  Or, “We received a lot of applications and it was a difficult decision.”

I wouldn’t keep telling her that your decisions regarding her have been “close” though, since that’s tantamount to inviting her to reapply in the future.

And overall, don’t get drawn into a long conversation with her about this. Choose your one-sentence reply, and if she keeps pushing after that, politely say, “I wish you the best of luck in finding a position” and then end the conversation.

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featured-on-usnIt’s your favorite topic: job rejection!

Obviously, getting rejected for a job you really wanted is one of the worst parts of job searching. But if you handle the rejection well, you can get something useful out of the disappointment.

Over at U.S. News & World Report today, I talk about four keys in responding to job rejection: don’t get angry, thank the interviewer for her time, ask for feedback, and stay in touch with the hiring manager. You can read it here.

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A reader writes:

I wanted to give you a happy endings story.

After 2 months of interviews for what was a dream internship, I found out on Friday that I didn’t get the job. I was slightly devastated, but having read almost every article you’ve posted, I knew I needed to send a genuine thank-you note. Even though I wasn’t in a particularly thankful mood, I sent a note thanking the interviewer for his time and the opportunity to learn more about the organization, etc. I also learned from someone who wrote into you the power of asking for feedback, so I asked him for any additional feedback he thought I could use.

This is the email I sent:

“While it pains me to see this opportunity go, I want to thank you for getting back to me. I also want to thank you for taking the time to meet with me. It was such a pleasure to meet you and ___ and learn about the organization. After spending the time talking with you and doing my research, I really do believe that the ___ industry is where I want to work. I know that I am not in a position to ask for favors, but if you have a moment to spare I would love any additional feedback. Please do not feel obligated to answer this question, but if there was something you noticed, it will help me in my job search and I would be most appreciative. I hope everything works out with you and your new intern.”

This was his response:

“Thank you for your email. You are a class act. Honestly, it was picking the best of the best…as you know, you were a top candidate. I can’t even tell you what you need to work on which sounds crazy but it’s true. It was a VERY difficult decision and it came down to the other candidate happened to have some festival experience which gave him a tiny bit of an edge. I tell you this because I want to be sure you know what a great interview and resume you had. As we continue to grow, I am keeping your resume with me, because you never know around here. Also we have a few other opportunities for part time, temporary positions closer to the event which I would love to chat with you about.”

I was shocked and so grateful that he took the time to write this. All in all, this gave me the closure I needed, and the opportunity that I might get to work with them after all. As angry and hurt as I was after hearing no, even though I went through 3 interviews and reference checks, pulling myself together to write this email was the best decision I made and I am happy to say that I consider this a happy ending!

Thanks for sharing this! It’s always worth sending a nice note back in response to a rejection, even if you’re not feeling entirely cheery, and you never know what may come of it. This type of note has led to referrals to other jobs, job offers months later (if the first person hired didn’t work out or if another position opens up), insider info about upcoming openings that might not be advertised, useful feedback, and all sorts of other good things.

That doesn’t mean that you will always get something like that out of it, of course, and no one should send notes like those with the expectation that it will. But it’s worth putting good things like this out into your job searching world, because sometimes they do come back to you (similar to, say, networking and staying on good terms with old managers). And if they don’t, you’ve behaved well and have lost nothing.

Thanks for a good example of how to do this!

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Whenever I need to send out rejection emails and it’s a day before a holiday — especially Thanksgiving or Christmas — I always wonder if it’s kinder to wait.

What’s your take? Would you rather get an answer right now, so that you’re not wondering and agonizing over the holiday break when you could have already found out? Or would you see a rejection right before you’re leaving for a holiday weekend as Scrooge-like, insensitive behavior? Or do you not care either way?

And does it make any difference if it’s a post-interview rejection versus just a post-application rejection?

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If you’re like many job seekers, you wonder why employers aren’t more forthcoming with feedback when they don’t hire you. Why are rejection letters so vague, and why are so many requests for feedback met with platitudes like “your qualifications were impressive, but we identified other applicants who were a better fit”?

Over at U.S. News & World Report today, I talk about the six most common reasons employers often don’t give rejected candidates feedback, including not wanting to deal with candidates who will argue or debate the decision, not feeling comfortable sharing awkward criticism (like that you seemed angry or high maintenance), being prohibited by company lawyers, and more. You can read it here.

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A reader writes:

During a recent interview, the interviewers were telling me about their expected timeline for making a decision, and I barely caught myself before saying something like, “Well, can you please let me know either way?”

Do you think that it is appropriate to diplomatically say something like that in the course of a conversation about timeline? If so, what is the best way to phrase it? Obviously, I feel it shouldn’t have to be said, and I would think it might be taken as a little insulting by some. On the other hand, it might be effective in getting the result I want, which is to be told if I wasn’t chosen rather than get blown off.

The result that you want isn’t really to be told either way; the result that you want is to get the job. And so no, I wouldn’t ask this question, because people who think it’s a no-brainer that they get back to all candidates will be insulted by it. And besides, it probably won’t work anyway.

It’s absolutely true that lots of employers don’t bother to get back to candidates to let them know that they’ve been rejected. And it’s rude and inconsiderate, and yes, widespread. But those people probably aren’t going to get back to you even if you say this in the interview. (After all, they also ignore direct requests for an answer via post-interview emails and phone calls; a request during the interview is going to be just as ineffective.) And the ones who will get back to you don’t need to be reminded.

Also, asking this question shifts the power dynamics a bit. The best interviews truly feel like two-way conversations; you’re both making a decision about whether this is a good fit. Ending the conversation with “will you please let me know either way?” undermines that and makes you suddenly look less confident. It’s pretty minor, but it’s there.

You’re better off just accepting when you interview that some rude interviewers won’t get back to you. It’s part of the deal. But the good ones will, and they’ll do it regardless.

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I’ve ranted here plenty of times about companies that don’t get back to job applicants, but we’ve talked less about how companies should handle rejections.

Over at Intuit’s Fast Track blog today, I talk about:

  • what to say when you reject someone
  • whether you should provide feedback
  • how rejecting internal candidates is different

You can read it here.

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When you get a rejection email, if you’re tempted to shoot back a reply, I strongly recommend that you wait a day to do it. Or at least a few hours. Otherwise, you risk sounding angry, defensive, or hot-headed.

Good replies: thanking them for letting you know or asking for feedback.

Bad replies:

“You’re making a mistake; I’d be a great candidate.”

“I’d think I’m at least worth an interview.”

… or anything angry, negative, or pushing back against the decision.

While a response like that might give you the momentary satisfaction of venting, it makes you look naive at best (lacking in smarts and interpersonal skills at worst) and carries the very long-term consequence of ruining any prospects with that organization in the future.

Seethe if you want to, but don’t hit “reply” until enough time has passed that the sting is gone. Or at least gone from your writing.

Also, these are old but good reads:

job rejections and vitriol, part 1
job rejections and vitriol, part 2
job rejections and vitriol, part 3

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A reader writes:

I have a question about replying to job applicants who I have no intention of interviewing.

Every time we post a job online, we get dozens of applications, and of course, only a few of them are people I want to call in for an interview. What’s the protocol for replying to the rest? In the past, we’ve always tended to just ignore them, but it seems like it would be more polite to send a note saying “thanks for applying….” — but then, I don’t know how to finish that sentence. We haven’t filled the position or found a better candidate yet, I just know it’s not going to be them! What’s the appropriate thing to say?

Also, what about the “applications” that are very clearly sent in without thought or effort or even recognition of what job they’re applying for? I’m talking about the ones with no cover letter (when our job post explicitly states you must include one) or the ones addressed “Dear Hiring Manager” with no customization or mention of the company name. Frankly, I delete those out of my inbox without hesitation right now — is there any value in holding on to them and sending the standard “no thanks” reply I mention above?

It’s definitely easier if you can write, “Thank you, but we’ve filled the position.” But if you haven’t yet, there’s no need to wait until you do. Here are a couple of different ways that you can word a rejection notice to people when you can’t attribute the rejection to not having an opening anymore:

1. “Thank you for your interest in working with us. We’ve had a tremendous response to our posting and are in the difficult position of having to reject many people like you who undoubtedly have much to offer. However, we very much appreciate your interest and wish you the best of luck in your search.”

2. “Thank you for applying for a position with XYZ Company. Although we won’t be able to move your application forward (or “advance you to an interview,” or however you want to word it), we really appreciate your interest in working with us and wish you the best in your search.”

As for applications that don’t display much thought or effort: I’ve certainly heard people argue that the obligation to respond to those candidates is lower, but I can’t understand why you wouldn’t do it anyway. If you’re using an automated application processing system, you can reject everyone you want to reject with one click, and if you’re doing it manually, you can do it in two seconds by pasting in a form letter and hitting “send.” In fact, it probably takes longer if you’re picking and choosing who you’ll send the notice to and who you won’t. It’s faster to put all your to-be-rejected candidates in one place and then reject them all at once. You can either copy-and-paste the form response or, if you’re especially crafty, you can make the template one of your auto-signatures and then just choose the right one — an amazingly useful misuse of the signature function.

By the way, I wouldn’t hold “dear hiring manager” against anyone, particularly if they’ve written a thoughtful, persuasive cover letter. And if they haven’t, there’s your reason for not being impressed, not the salutation they used.

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