Head over to my post at U.S. News & World Report to find out if you’re committing any of the seven deadly interview sins.

A reader writes:

I am a middle-aged mom who is trying her hardest to re-enter the workforce. I worked part-time when my youngest was in high school three years ago for a year and half, but my job got eliminated. I went back to college for a year and received my certificate as a Medical Secretary.

I have applied at a health system (this includes hospital and clinics; they are combined) for about a year and half, even back when I was in school. I got one interview in 2010 before I went back to school, but although the HR lady said I interviewed quite well, they let someone within have the position. I have not been able to get back through the gate yet. I volunteered in medical records at this hospital, working toward a credit in college this past fall, and the volunteer coordinator told me I could use her as a reference.

Well, HR did call me this past October, and I know I sounded nervous and messed up. I still kept applying whenever I saw a job posted on the website. But when I did not get a interview for a job I was very qualified for, I sent the HR lady an email asking if she would mind giving me some feedback. Was there something my resume did not have? She emailed me back and said it wasn’t me, that they just have a strong pool of applicants with specific medical experience the hiring managers were looking for.

Last week, I was in one of the doctor’s clinics as a patient, and I happened to ask the front office assistant there (this is the job title I have been applying for at various clinics within this health system) where she worked before she came there and about her clinical experience. She told me that she worked as a administrative assistant at a tire place. No clinical experience at all. She had been hired within the past few months. I have had previous hospital training and experience before our family and have medical office schooling and volunteer experience. I didn’t know what to make of this.

The HR lady obviously misled me, and it really hurt my feelings because I have applied there probably 10 times over the past year. I came home at sent the HR lady a very nice and super polite email stating that I was a patient there and that I found out someone was recently hired without any clinical experience and it made me reevaluate this health system as a whole. 

Well, she e-mailed me back saying, “Thank you for your email. Moving forward, I will contact my managers and see if there is a way we can elevate your application against the other applications being considered.” But three days later, the one job I had applied for was filled.

I think maybe my problem is one hiring manager who I interviewed with in 2010 ( I had a panel interview with four hiring managers). She is the practice manager when I go for my OB-GYN exams, and I had to go over her head as a patient there regarding insurance. She does things when she wants to and it took her a month to get around to handling my insurance concern. I think she may have resented me going over her head. I also think the HR lady just sent me that email back because now she knows my family is a patient there and for public relations. Or maybe she thought I might tell people I felt discriminated against because I am middle-aged or I had more experience and was not given a fair chance to interview. I just don’t know. Is this unusual? If I see anything else posted on their website for a position, should I even bother to apply or I am blackballed?

Oh my. I think you’re operating with some fundamental misunderstandings about how hiring works. I’m not sure where to start, so in no particular order:

* The HR person gave you a very typical response when you asked for feedback — explaining that they simply had more qualified applicants. This is very often true, but it’s also very often a polite way of saying “we didn’t think you were a strong candidate.”

* Complaining to HR that they hired someone who you don’t think is as qualified as you are and that you’re “reevaluating” their organization is basically like blackballing yourself. You look difficult and cranky and like you’re not willing to take no for an answer, and no reasonable employer is going to invite those traits on to their staff.

* There’s a bit of a sense of entitlement in your email. You’re not entitled to a “fair chance” to interview. You’re not entitled to tell them that you question their hiring decisions and still expect them to consider you a serious candidate. You’re not even entitled to candid feedback about your candidacy. They can interview and hire anyone they want, and they don’t owe you an explanation. If you act as though they do, you’ll only succeed in ensuring that they won’t hire you.

* As a side note, I cleaned up a bunch of grammatical errors in your email to me. If you’re not proofreading your materials, that alone could have been the initial reason they weren’t interested in hiring you.

Now, is it possible that the practice manager at your OB-GYN office is standing in your way? Maybe. But based on the above, you’re far more in your own way than she is.

At this point, you need to move on. Don’t contact this HR person anymore, and instead focus on applying other places. You can continue to apply at this company if you want to, but I’d be surprised if anything comes of it, at least for a while.

And going forward, keep in mind that most employers have tons of well-qualified candidates applying to work for them. That means that lots of qualified candidates aren’t even going to be interviewed. You can’t take that personally or try to protest it, because if you do, you’ll move yourself from the “qualified but didn’t make the cut this time” pool to the “no way in hell, ever” pool.

A reader writes:

I had a second interview with a company last week and it went horribly, in my estimation. There were a bunch of technical questions, and I did my best to answer them to the best of my abilities, but for the most part, I did not know the answers and I told them so. The interview was to last about an hour and it lasted about 20 minutes, so I figured it wasn’t a good fit and that was that.

Fast forward to today. They asked for my references. I, of course, sent them back immediately. Now, I’m scared that if they offer me the job it will be to do a bunch of things I cannot do. Though they are aware of my shortcomings, I’m willing to learn and do pick up on things very quickly, but I don’t want to disappoint after 30 days and have them find that I am not a fit. The other thing that scares me is that I am completely versed on a system that no one at their company knows anything about and in the back of my mind, I think they could possibly offer me the job to pick my brain about that system and once they get their information they won’t need me anymore.

I haven’t been offered a position yet, but don’t even know how to react if it happens. I almost want to act surprised if they do call to get some sort of answer as to why they took me after not being able to answer the questions in the interview. Any advice would be helpful. If they were up front and said they are hiring me because of my knowledge in system X, but while I taught them about that they would train me, that is one thing, but if they just offer me the job without any speak of the “bad interview,” I would come away a bit afraid.

I’m fascinated by the HBO late-night show “Cathouse,” which is about a real-life, legal brothel in Nevada. There’s tons of fascinating weirdness to love about the show, but one of the oddest parts is this thing called “the line-up,” which is where a customer arrives and all the women currently on-duty line up inside the front door so that he can choose one of them. This is a one-way selection process; the customer makes a choice, the women wait to be chosen, end of story.

Your letter makes me think of that because you’re talking about interviewing as if it’s a one-way selection process too. But it’s not — far from it. And if you treat it like it is, you’ll dramatically increase your chances of ending up in a job that you won’t do well in or be happy with. (You also won’t come across as well to the employer, interestingly.)

You should see all hiring processes as two-way streets: The employer is interviewing and assessing you, and you should be interviewing and assessing them right back. It’s not about you just waiting for them to decide if they want you or not; you also need to decide if you want them.

So in this case, that means that you’ll ask these questions that are on your mind. Ideally, you would have asked in the interview: “I’m noticing that you’re asking a lot about X and Y. Is that a substantial portion of the job?” and “How important is it that the person in the job have technical knowledge in these areas from the beginning, versus being able to pick it up through training and learning on the job?”

But even though you didn’t ask then, it’s not too late — if you get a job offer, ask about it then:  ”During our interview, you asked a lot of technical questions and X and Y, and I wasn’t familiar with many of them. How much of the job will those areas account for? Is it something I’d need to pick up on my own or is there any training?”  And so forth — and anything else that you’re wondering about too.  Ask as many questions as you need to until you’re satisfied that you fully understand what you’d be signing up for, and never, ever accept a job offer until that part is done.

You are not in a brothel line-up. You’re in a two-way business discussion.

It’s tiny answer Tuesday — seven short answers to seven short questions! Here we go…

1. Work email account after you’re fired

My husband was fired a week ago. He no longer has access to his work email, of course, but his boss does and is reading incoming emails. What is the standard protocol?

This is normal. When an employee leaves, work-related email will often continue to come into the person’s account, and there are two ways of dealing with it: (1) Set up an auto-reply that explains the person is no longer with the company (ideally directing them to someone else), or (2) Have someone monitor the email and respond to or forward anything that needs to be dealt with. I generally have done the second, in part so that people don’t have to write twice. This is one of many reasons why it’s smart not to use your work email address for personal things; the company owns that account.

2. Using current manager as a reference for a second job

Is it appropriate to ask a current employer for a reference for a second job? My current job is part-time and I’m looking to aquire a second for this coming summer. Since my current job is the first I’ve ever had, I don’t have many references to draw upon and the ones I do have are mostly character references. I am on very good terms with my supervisor and manager and feel that they would make great references. However, will they see it as a conflict of interest with respect to scheduling and availability?

I’d talk to your manager and tell her that you’re planning to look for a second job for the summer and how you’ll ensure that it doesn’t impact your availability for your primary job. If she doesn’t object, then ask if she’d be willing to be a reference. If she does object, you want to know that before you take the second job.

3. Mentioning weight loss in a cover letter

I’m currently mired in the job-hunt process and had a question concerning cover letters. I graduated from college two years ago, but due to some family problems I returned home a year ago. By the time I got home, I was morbidly obese and I’ve spent the last year losing 110 pounds. While I did some volunteer work and part-time jobs, I haven’t added any serious credentials onto my resume. However, I do think my weight-loss journey shows determination, a must-do attitude and resilience. Is that something I could add in my cover letter or is it too personal?

I wouldn’t include it. It’s not relevant to work, and so it’s likely to come across as naive. (Congratulations though!)

4. Deferring an internship offer

I’m a recent graduate from college, and through an acquaintance of an acquaintance, I have received an internship offer (yay!). I have already committed myself to working at my old summer job for two months. I think it’s still reasonable to do the internship afterwards, since they’re all temporary. How should I respond saying, Yes, but in the future, please?

Just be straightforward: “I’d love to accept, but I’m committed to working another position in June and July. Would it be possible to set a start date for August?”

5. Company hasn’t mentioned paying for my interview travel expenses

I am in the process of looking for a job on the East Coast (I live in the midwest right now). I had a first interview and was called back for a second. The company has made no offer to pay for my flights. Is this common? Can I ask for reimbursement from them? Or should I just let it go?

Yes, it’s common. In this market, when there are plenty of good local candidates, there’s little incentive for employers to pay to bring in candidates from out of town, and sometimes paying your own way is the cost of getting an out-of-state job. However, this is the second time they’re asking you to fly out? It’s completely reasonable to say something like: “Since this is the second time I’ll be flying out to interview, do you reimburse travel expenses?” They might say yes, or they might say no, but it’s reasonable to at least ask.

6. Applying for a job at your alma mater

Out of curiosity, I checked my alma mater’s job postings. There were a couple job listings that I find very interesting. As an alum, is there any preferential treatment for being so? Bonus points? Alternative method for application?

Not that I know of, but I’ve never worked in academia so I might be wrong. I’d just mention in your cover letter that you’re an alum. You could ask your alumni office if there’s anything else you should be doing.

7. Overly casual job interviewer

I recently had a job interview with a really great company in the beer industry. I’m still waiting for a response, but I left a bit confused! I had a phone interview on Monday morning, was asked to come in on Tuesday for a face-to-face with the hiring manager, which I accepted. The hiring manager was very nice; we had great rapport, the conversation was free-flowing, not question/answer, and there was focus on my resume and accomplishments. I felt really good about that, but I was taken aback by his lack of note-taking and body language. If he could have put his feet up on his desk, he probably would have, this is how comfortable he was. That confused me. I felt I was getting mixed signals and I’m not really sure how to take that. Is my resume strong enough that he does not need to take notes? Or did it just get dumped after I left? Was his body language a sign of his feeling comfortable with me, or a sign disinterest? Or am I reading too much into it because I am new to this industry? They work very hard, but they are also very laid back.

You’re reading too much into it. Lots of interviewers don’t take notes, and lots are extremely casual. Keep in mind, though, that it probably reflects the culture you’d be working in, so factor that into your thinking about whether you’d like the job.

A reader writes:

I work in a small company (35 employees) in a team of four people. We are a “young” company (average age around 30) and we get along; many people have become friends and about once a month we go out for drinks, invitation open to all.

Some four months ago, I was appointed team leader and around that same time we hired a new colleague on to our team. He is young and this is his first office job. He is openly grateful for being employed (in today’s economy) and very eager to learn. He does his job quite well.

The problem is that I found myself really disliking him personally. He is very smug and often condescending in everyday conversations, and very intense (trying to become close friends with everyone very quickly). I also notice that he is sometimes a kiss-ass, both within the team and with our higher-ups. Regarding the rest of the team, another team member mentioned that he sometimes annoys her and the fourth member has mostly worked in another location and likes the New Guy’s work but has mentioned no personal impressions.

I don’t talk to other team members about my personal feelings. I don’t want to be petty and I don’t want this problem I’m having to influence the team (I have seen how damaging a personal dislike between two people, when allowed to flare, can be to a team). The New Guy, as I mentioned, does good work and I don’t think he is malicious or would be intentionally damaging. But we work very closely together, in the same office, he attends the company’s unofficial social events and although in an ideal world I could only focus on his work, I’m afraid that me finding him personally obnoxious could become an issue.

Do you have any advice on how I can handle my own feelings?

First, stop seeing your relationships with colleagues in terms of who you like and who you don’t like. Your job as a manager isn’t to be friends with the people who work for you — in fact, it’s to not be friends with them. (You need to preserve professional boundaries so that you can objectively assess their work, give feedback, make tough decisions about their tenure with the company if necessary, and generally be their boss, not their friend.)

That means that you need to focus on his work, not whether you enjoy hanging out with him.

However, if his behaviors are impacting his effectiveness, then as his manager, you’re almost obligated to talk to him about that. And that might be a legitimate issue here, since it sounds like you’re partly identifying a problem with how he’s fitting in with your office’s culture and expectations about behavior. (I say “partly,” because I think this is only true of the smugness and condescension; his attempts to quickly become friends with others are really not your business.)

I’d think a bit on what the impact of the smugness and condescension is. Is he coming across as if he doesn’t respect his colleagues’ opinions, which is bad for his working relationships with others? Is he acting as if he has nothing to learn, which would legitimately worry you as his manager because it might mean he’s blocking out important information he really does need to learn and/or turning others off from helping him? Is is bringing a negative energy to meetings and discussions?  These are the types of things that you should talk with him about, because these are legitimate areas for you to care about — they affect his own performance and they affect your team in general.

But again, you should be approaching this utterly dispassionately — it’s not about whether you like him (irrelevant); it’s about his impact in the workplace, good and bad.

Are you annoying all your coworkers? Find out here.

It’s short answer Saturday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Four-hour interviews

I have a friend who got called for an interview with a local college for a temporary program manager position to cover an absence by the existing program manager while she is on sabbatical. My friend was told her interview was going to be 4 hours long and that she would be emailed a brief agenda. Have you ever heard of a 4-hour first interview? I asked my friend to send me the agenda when she receives it because I am very curious as to what could go on in a 4-hour interview. Campus tour? School history presentation? Even if there are several people involved in the selection and interviewing process, I can’t imagine an actual conversation interview lasting more than 2 hours tops if there are a lot of questions to go through, and even at that length, isn’t there something to be said about everyone burning out mid-process?

What’s most likely is that they’re having her meet with a series of people, separately — so it’s actually going to be three or four (or more) conversations. Not that unusual, although I wouldn’t do it on a first interview — there’s too high of a chance of wasting time on both sides if it’s not a fit.

2. My husband’s employer won’t discuss his paycheck with me

The payroll clerk at my husband’s company claims she cannot discuss my husband’s payroll issues with me. My husband and I sat together at the company Christmas party and personally made a point to offer verbal consent to her, but her answer was that because of HIPAA rules she could not discuss anything with me, “the spouse.” My response was “then we need a power of attorney giving me the right to discuss issues with the employer.” Her response was, “No, that won’t do either.” I’m at wit’s end. The employer constantly shorts my husbands check or doesn’t pay overtime. My husband is very passive and also is out in the field without all the necessary info to discuss issues. He wants me to have access to the info, he calls me his CFO.

No responsible company is going to discuss payroll — or anything else — with anyone but the employee, consent or not. (It’s not because of HIPAA though; HIPAA only governs the release of medical information by health care workers.) Your husband is going to need to handle this stuff himself, and you’ll both make him look unprofessional if you try to do it instead of him. However, if there are regular payroll issues, he should be talking to someone above the payroll clerk (and if that doesn’t work, your state wage agency).

3. Talking about coursework in a cover letter

I’m a current grad student applying for jobs. I don’t have a ton of professional experience to talk about, so I had planned to devote one paragraph of my cover letter to coursework. I’m trying to figure out how to do that while heeding your advice to avoid repeating my resume and to emphasize accomplishments. One idea I had is to point out some relevant classes in which my exam was selected as a model answer. Have you seen cover letters from students or recent grads that talk about education in particularly effective (or ineffective) ways?

Personally, I don’t love it. I know most schools don’t prepare students for this, but in most fields, your coursework isn’t all that relevant, unless you can point to a project similar enough to real-life work that it translates well. If you can do that, though, then it could be effective. Exams — probably not. Practical project work — possibly. (But it’s completely possible that there’s an exception to this that I’m not thinking about, so feel free to get more specific in the comments.)

4. Getting time off for counseling during business hours

I have a weekly standing appointment with a mental health counselor during business hours. This is not an issue with my current job, since I work part-time. However, I am currently searching for full-time employment and I’m not sure when/how to bring this up. The clinic I go to is only open from 8am-6pm weekdays and I am really making progress with my therapist so I can’t just switch counselors. I would really like to be able to work around it, perhaps coming in earlier or leaving later once a week. How should I approach this with potential employers?

Wait until you have a job offer and then frame it as a medical appointment (which it is). Say, “I have a standing medical appointment each week during business hours. I can come in late or leave early that day to make up for it. Would that be alright?”

5. Filling jobs without posting them

Is it illegal to fill jobs without posting them anywhere, even internally? My institution regularly fills positions left vacant by appointing people already within the organization, without any type of posting. I am assuming they interview the people, but this might not even be true. They even do this if the job is entirely new and has never been filled before. Is it legal to just give people jobs without allowing anyone else a chance to apply? When I tell people about this instances, they tell me that this can’t possibly be legal.

Yes, it’s legal. Some employers have internal policies that require them to post jobs, but those are internal policies, not laws. Employers can put anyone they want in a job and aren’t required to give anyone else a fair chance at it, as long as they’re not discriminating based on race, religion, sex, ethnicity, or other protected class.

6. How long should it take to process a new hire?

About 2 weeks ago, I went into a GameStop and was “hired” by the manager. He told me I had the job, but that it would take me a while to get in the system. I haven’t started training or anything. Meanwhile, I have since been offered another job, one that I can start immediately. How long does it take to process a future employee? Should I just politely thank the GameStop manager and move on to the other job?

Why not ask the GameStop manager to tell you how long it will take and when your first day will be? If he can’t give you a firm answer, or it’s too far out in the future, then politely explain that you need employment immediately and so you’re going to take a different position. (And yes, that’s silly that it’s taking so long.)

7. Explaining an unemployment gap caused by depression

I have a 2.5 year unemployment gap on my resume and I’m not sure how to deal with questions about this on an interview. The truth is that mild depression, social anxiety, and low self-esteem are the main reasons for my unemployment during this time. I worked a few odd jobs, and also sold things on ebay. I also studied for and got my A+ certification (IT Technician) towards the end. However I still have very bad anxiety about going on interviews due to this gap.

One option is to say that you were dealing with a health issue that is now resolved. Depression is a health issue, so it’s a legitimate answer and it will (or should) ward off further questions, since employers aren’t supposed to ask candidates about health matters. You can also add that while you couldn’t work during that time, you were able to get the certification during that period. Good luck!

Thanks to everyone who shared their networking stories in the earlier post calling for them.

It wasn’t easy, but we have our winners:

Bob G, who had an entire tray of drinks spilled on his head just as he was about to make a much-desired quiet escape from a networking event

The Other Dawn, who upon learning her district manager was thinking of going back to school, asked, “High school or college?”

Rana, who overcame her anxiety and kicked ass at talking to people at a convention fair and got several jobs out of it

J14, who ran across a basketball court to talk to someone who had recently rejected her for a job — and as a result, ended up being offered the position just weeks later when the first candidate didn’t work out

Winners, I’ll be emailing you directly about the free Premium LinkedIn memberships you’ve won.

Thanks to everyone who shared their stories! I loved reading them.

A reader writes:

I applied for a job at a large insurance company and was contacted to set up a phone interview. When I called the HR representative back to set up a date and time, she requested that I call her at the appointed time. I agreed. After hanging up, I realized that this is a long distance phone call and I will be paying the cost for the 30-45 minute interview. If I’d realized it before hanging up, I would have said no to her request.

Is this normal business practice? This is a large company making billions of dollars a year. Do I call her back and request she call me? I’m not inclined to do that, as it seems silly. But it is very frustrating for an out-of-work person seeking employment. And this is the third company in 6 months that has requested that I call them for the phone interview. A new trend?

This sucks. And it stems from employers just not thinking about the fact that there might be a cost to you, especially now that so many people have cell phones that don’t charge extra for long-distance calls.

I suppose you could simply be straightforward and say, “Since this is a long-distance call, would you mind calling me?” But now you’ve maybe introduced a slight awkwardness, and maybe you have to deal with some judgy person rudely wondering why you can’t afford $4 or whatever it’s going to cost, and you shouldn’t have to worry about any of that.

I suppose you could just say, “Actually, could you call me? I’ll be at (number)” and just not even get into the cost aspect of things, but this is going to make you worry that you’ll be judged for messing with their system, or whatever.

It sucks and is unfair. I don’t have a good answer.

A reader writes:

I saw this post from Randy Cohen (formerly the author of The New York Times’ Ethicist column) on Facebook this morning:

“A tougher one I received at the column: may a job hunter omit a Ph.D. [on his resume] lest a potential employer find him overqualified? No. Some things are not an employer’s business – your religion or erotic proclivities or Facebook password. But a CV is meant to be a full account of your education and work history.”

I commented, making the argument you make about a resume being a marketing document designed to present the potential employee in the best light. To which he responded:

“You may be selective, of course, or some resumes would be 50 pages long, but you may not be deceptive, deliberately concealing work or education history that a potential employer has a legitimate right to know.” 

I commented again with some (made-up) practical examples: What if I have an MFA and am applying for a job in finance? What if I temped while I was unemployed? No response (as of now) from Mr. Cohen.

… so what do you think of this? Do you and he just disagree, or is it that you’re coming at the question from different angles (you as a manager, he as an ethicist)? Or maybe, in some cases, circumstances trump ethics (and in others, ethics trump circumstances)? Anyway, I was just interested in your thoughts on this.

First let me say that I really liked Randy Cohen’s Ethicist column and was disappointed when it ended! However, I think he got this one wrong.

An employer is no more entitled to a comprehensive accounting of your past than anyone else is. Your job as a candidate is to explain what in your past has prepared you to and demonstrates that you will do the job well — to say “here are the reasons I would excel at this job.” That’s what it means to apply for a job; you’re saying “here’s why I’d be the right fit.”

And everyone is basically agreed that this is the nature of a resume; it’s designed to show what you bring to the table. No one expects it to provide details of irrelevant coursework, or the project you worked on that almost ruined your company, or the fact that you were planning to go into the priesthood before you switched to medicine. (In fact, you’d be judged negatively for including those first two — you’d be seen as someone who couldn’t identify what is and isn’t appropriate information.)

And I’m not sure where Randy is coming from with this concept of an employer’s “legitimate right to know” everything in your past. Employers have a legitimate right to expect that you’re not lying (and an obligation to do their own due diligence on you, in the form of reference checks, etc.), but they don’t have any special right to receive every detail about your education and work history on a silver platter, unless you choose to base your candidacy on those.

Overall, I think his response reflects a slightly off-base understanding of what we, as a society, have agreed a resume is … and even what employers want/expect from a resume.  (Which is a reason that I wish non-workplace advice columnists wouldn’t venture into workplace advice. It often results in weirdness.)

Want to win a free Premium LinkedIn membership? Read on.

I’ve mentioned here before that I hate networking. Hate it, hate it, hate it. It’s mainly because I’m an introvert, but it’s also because I have a special talent for saying things that sounded funny in my head but somehow aren’t when I say them out loud.

But I still think that you should network, because the reality is that it’s ridiculously helpful. And that’s why I’ve agreed to give away four Premium LinkedIn memberships to Ask a Manager readers.

The details:  To help women use networking to advance in their careers, Citi and LinkedIn are launching a new professional community called Connect: Professional Women’s Network. The idea is to help women increase their network connections (and they already have members like Women for Hire CEO Tory Johnson and Womensphere founder Analisa Balares), plus provide them with tips for professional success. To help launch it, they’ve provided me with four Premium LinkedIn memberships to give away (valued at approximately $600 per membership). Premium memberships give you the ability to contact people outside your network, add personal notes to profiles so you can remember where you met someone, InMail capabilities, let you see who viewed your profile, and more. (Disclaimer: They also gave me one.)

To figure out who will win these, here’s what I’ve concocted: Leave a comment below telling us your most amusing (read: awkward) or most impressive networking story. I’ll select the winners by picking the four that I judge funniest or most impressive.

The rules:

- Don’t make things up. That’s bad luck.

- You don’t need to be a woman to enter, despite the focus of the networking group.

- Make sure to leave your email address in the box that asks for it when you leave your comment, so that I can alert you if you win. (I’m the only one who will be able to see it.)

- Leave your comment by 11:59 p.m. EST May 11.

That’s it. And you can check out the new networking group here.

Update: The deadline for new entries is now passed.

A reader writes:

I submitted my resume and cover letter for a position yesterday and got an email this morning asking for more information– to fill out their “candidate profile” (name, contact info, salary desired, position desired, references). They asked for previous salary but I slipped out of that one by saying I’m a consultant (true).

What tripped me up, though, was “Please list any positions at any company that you have recently applied to.” That is really none of their business! I wound up listing a couple of titles of positions I have applied for recently (very similar to this position) but not the companies. Was that the right thing to do? Is this a huge red flag of weirdness? Am I just sheltered and this is normal?

Wow. I’ve heard of people being asked this in interviews before, but not on applications — but given the trend toward more and more violations of privacy on job applications, I’m not surprised.

Frankly, I’d probably just skip the question. It’s none of their business, it’s not relevant to your candidacy, and it’s feasible that you haven’t recently applied to any other positions (unless you’re currently unemployed, in which case it probably stretches believability, but too bad).

Employers, cut this crap out. You are overstepping.

I have food poisoning, so there wasn’t going to be any content at all today, but just in time, this showed up:  my latest article at U.S. News, on how to appear more authoritative at work.

A reader writes:

I recently responded to a job listing on a recruiter’s website. I was called in for an interview, which consisted of me sitting in the waiting room for an hour and a half to talk to someone for three minutes, in which I pretty much just read her my resume.

I got a call from another recruiter about an hour later, which I missed, and she left a voicemail explaining that she was taking off a job from my resume before she submits it. She didn’t ask — just told me she was going to do it. It was a legitimate sales position, in which the majority of my work would consist of meeting monthly sales goals. I’m looking for a position in marketing, so it seems important to have some sort of sales background. It’s a job I held last year, so it’s not too old. It was at a tanning salon, which is why I’m assuming she took it off. However if she had read my resume, she should know that I wasn’t spray painting people orange, I actually had a lot of responsibility.

She left another, older retail position on there, in which I had much less responsibility. So now I have a year and a half long gap in my resume that I can’t account for. Is this normal recruiter practice? I have to admit, I’m a little insulted.

I’ve heard lots of stories of recruiters taking things off people’s resumes or otherwise changing their resumes — sometimes without even telling them, which causes lots of problems when you’re in an interview and realize the hiring manager you’re talking to has a version of your resume that you’ve never seen.

Some recruiters might legitimately be improving your resume; others might not. The key, I think, is to understand why they’re making the changes and to ensure that you sign off on the final version before it’s submitted.

So in your case, I’d ask her to explain why she was taking that job off, and explain why you think it should be left on. Once you talk about it, if she still wants to take it off, you can decide if you’re convinced by her explanation or not. Of course, if you refuse, she can certainly decide not to submit your candidacy for the job, but if you’re really a strong candidate with a reasonable resume, that probably won’t happen. (The recruiter’s side of this: The candidates she submits reflect on her, and it’s reasonable for her not to submit a resume that she doesn’t think makes the reason for the match clear.)

By the way, it’s important to make sure that you’re working with a good recruiting firm. I can’t tell from your email if the non-interview interview that you described in your first paragraph was with the same recruiting company that later called to say they were rewriting your resume, but if it was, that’s two red flags at the same company, so I’d proceed with caution. (Actually, the non-interview interview on its own should probably be a deal-breaker.)

You might be thinking that even if these recruiters don’t do you any good, they at least can’t do you any harm, but that’s not necessarily true: Bad ones will rewrite your resume in inaccurate or ineffective ways, submit your resume for jobs without your permission (which can be a problem if you’re working with another recruiter on that same job, because now the employer has to deal with two recruiters fighting over that commission), push you to interview for jobs you’re not interested in, and even misrepresent key details of the job or company to you.

There are plenty of good recruiting firms out there too, but you should be cautious about who you work with.

A reader writes:

I recently discovered that a former direct report took credit for my title/job during the brief 9-month period she reported to me temporarily while my assistant was on maternity leave. What’s mystifying is that she did it on LinkedIn. While we’re not connected, we share a good number of connections because we have the same colleagues!

By doing so, it appears she was able to secure a senior position, thereby skipping having to serve in a non-senior role at all.

Understandably, I’m livid at someone taking credit for my job — especially since she was completely incompetent and showed no dedication or effort to perform well while reporting to me and spent 99% of her time looking for a job.

Should I contact the new employer and inform them of her lie? Most advice I’ve seen says to stay out of it — but, since she reported to me, I’m fully aware of her propensity for unethical behavior (“little white lies” being the norm) and if I can do something to put a stop to it, I’d be happier for it.

Of course, I understand that even if I report this factual misrepresentation, the new employer could opt to do nothing, but for some reason I think I have to do it! Help — what should I do?

There’s a strong argument for doing nothing. This presumably doesn’t impact you, and besides, if she’s as incompetent as you think she is, she’s probably not going to last very long in her new position anyway.

I suppose you could make an argument that the new employer deserves to know … but this employer apparently didn’t bother to check references or even verify her employment history, so that’s a problem of their own making.

I’m fully aware of the powerful pull of wanting to mete out justice or at least set people straight — I struggle with it all the time, believe me. But I don’t think your role is to be the justice-dispenser here, and you’re probably going to be happier if you just push her out of your mind. She doesn’t work for you anymore, and this is only going to bother you if you decide it’s going to bother you.

But if you feel you must do something, one option short of contacting her new employer is to contact her and point out the “error.” You’re probably going to come across as a busybody if you do this, but you could say something like: “I noticed that you used the title Taco Manager on your LinkedIn profile. Since I’m actually our only Taco Manager and you were the Taco Assistant, would you correct it to ward off any confusion? You’ll probably want to do that anyway so that it doesn’t cause problems for you with employment verifications and so forth.”  (See, it still sounds like a busybody.)

What do others think? Anyone want to argue for contacting the employer?

P.S. If this situation sounds familiar, we had a letter about a similar issue a year ago, only in that situation the perpetrator was still working with the person.

P.P.S. What’s up with letting someone you describe as “totally incompetent” work for you for nine months? That might be the bigger issue to focus on.