It’s mini answer Monday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Praying at interviews … and a law firm with a resident chaplain

I walked into an interview for a paralegal position at a law firm, and on the receptionist’s desk was the Ten Commandments. No big deal, right? I thought maybe the receptionist put it there for herself. But then a man comes out and introduces himself as the law firm’s chaplain and proceeds to ask myself and the other two paralegals if we would like to be lead in prayer. The other two ladies chime in with a zealous “YES!” and we proceed to pray about having a successful day. At this point, I’m freaking out. Now I have nothing against religion — I believe it’s a lot like sexual orientation. It’s a personal decision and I would never dream of questioning anyone on their chosen religious beliefs or sexual preferences. But I do believe NEITHER belong in the workplace. So after I met the chaplain, I seriously considered walking out and just stating that this job isn’t the right fit for me. But pretty quickly, the woman interviewing me called me back. She proceeded to lead my interview with another prayer, and then the attorney came in halfway through the interview to listen in. He also asks if we’ve prayed. At this point, I was trying to make the process as short as possible because there is no way I would be comfortable in that working environment. The interview also ended with a prayer. It should be noted that in their job advertisement they did not mention that they were a faith-based law firm and they did not advertise a starting salary range, but their offered salary at the interview was insultingly low and not negotiable.

What happened here? What’s the appropriate response? Isn’t this borderline illegal? And am I wrong in thinking that even if I was very religious, 3 prayers within one hour would severely affect my work performance and turn potential clients off? If they call me back for a second interview, should I find a way to politely tell them why I would decline?

This is so bizarre that I questioned whether it was real, but the letter came from someone who I’ve corresponded with in the past, so …

Yes, this is crazy town. It’s certaintly their prerogative if they want to run their business that way (and they might be small enough that they’re not covered by federal laws against religious discrimination), but not to state it up front in the ad so candidates can self-select out and to act like of course you’d be comfortable with this without even asking is pure insanity. And rude, frankly.

Personally, I would have left after the chaplain attempted to lead me in prayer. If they call you back, you can certainly say that you appreciate their interest but they seem to have a culture that mixes religion with work and it’s not for you.

2. How can I stay motivated at my boring retail job?

Currently, I am a college student, scheduled to graduate in six months. I have my hands full between school, a part-time (unpaid) internship, and my part- time retail job. My internship and school are going very well. What I am struggling with is my part-time retail job. I have worked there for nearly seven years, and I make barely above minimum wage. I am very burned out from being there for so long, partially because I have never managed to move up from a sales associate position to assistant manager — those opportunities rarely come around and are usually offered to people with more open availability — but also, the repetitiveness of the it all, and the low wages. The work isn’t challenging or rewarding, and I am doing the exact same tasks every day. I no longer have the motivation to keep myself busy during my entire shift, as my managers would like me to do. They have told me my failure to keep myself constantly busy at work is a problem. I feel badly about this. I am rather unhappy there, but I would still like to be able to make this last until I graduate and get a higher- paying job. I feel as though getting a different part-time job would be more stressful than anything, as I require a certain amount of flexibility with my hours that my current job offers. Also, I do not know if that would cause an odd gap in my work history on a resume.

I really want to find new ways to keep myself energized and motivated at work so I can become a better worker and less miserable at work. Any advice you can give me would be appreciated.

The best reason I can give you to continue to do a good job at work is integrity. You are being paid to do a job. You’re accepting money for that job. As long as you continue to accept your employer’s money, you owe it to them (and to yourself, because again, integrity) to do the job the way they’re asking you to do it. Do you want to be the type of person who slacks off (and who potentially becomes known for slacking off), or do you want to be someone who’s awesome at what she does, even when it’s not especially exciting?

Plus, a job that you’ve been at seven years should be a great reference for you. Future prospective managers are going to be interested to talk with the employer who worked with you for so long. It would be a shame to squander a good reference just because the work is repetitive — and given your managers’ talk with you, it sounds like that’s already happening and you need to correct it while you still have a window to.

3. Is there a target on my back because I asked for a raise?

I have been at my current job for 15 months and have recently asked for a raise. I backed up my request with a list for the new products I designed for the company (that have sold) and during my lunch/review the boss and manager gave me only 4′s and 5′s on a 1-5 scale (5=best).

Since being denied a raise for the usual reasons of corporate poverty, I am afraid now I have a target on my back. Had I even got a measly 1%, the issue would have gone away. Not to get paranoid, but I am afraid the boss may be thinking that because I didn’t get the raise, I will be disappointed and look for a new job. So now he will have to replace me before he thinks I would leave.

I do enjoy my job and I do not want to leave. I just want to earn what I am worth for my skills (I only asked for $50/week more). Do you think I have reason to worry about this?

Well, a raise request always has a subtext of “or I may leave and find it elsewhere” attached. So yes, it’s probably crossed your boss’s mind that you might be thinking about that. But replacing you based on nothing more than that is very, very unlikely.

4. Is there a protocol for interviewers?

I was wondering if there was an established protocol for conducting interviews. I am currently looking for a job in my field (finance / investment management). So far, I have had a number of interviews — phone, in person, with a recruiter/headhunter — with various organizations. My idea (and may be I am being naïve) of a well-conducted interview includes sitting down with an interviewer who then explains the position I am interviewing for, then we talk about my experience, and so on. Whereas I have come to know well what to expect and what is important in interviews with recruiters, I am very often quite baffled by the order of questions in all other kinds of interviews. Specifically, last week in a phone screen with an HR rep of a very small company, the third question was regarding my salary expectations. Another HR phone screen from another company – and this question was asked at the beginning of the conversation as well. I also just received an email from an HR rep of another (large and very respected) company and she is asking me the same question. I haven’t even talked to this person or anybody else in the company. Is this the reality job seekers should expect in this market or are these red flags?

I have also noticed that interviewers don’t want to take the time to talk about the position but rather start by asking questions right away. Very often I have to steer them towards telling me what the job is all about as the conversation goes on. Is this a good practice on behalf of interviewers?

There’s no universal rule for what interviewers should ask first and in what order. But interviewers often don’t start by talking about the position because they assume you know the basics from the job posting and that the details will come out through conversation as the interview progresses.

And in phone screens, it’s very common to ask some quick deal-breakers right up front; they have a zillion candidates to talk to, and they don’t want to waste time talking about the position if you don’t meet some basic criteria, one of which is often whether you’re in the same salary range that they are.

5. Required to work a full extra day

Can an employer require an exempt salaried professional employee to start working an additional full day (Saturday) on top of their regular ~40 hour M-F work week with no additional compensation?

Yes. You can, of course, try to negotiate a raise or other compensation, or a more flexible schedule. If they won’t budge, then you need to decide if you want the job under these new terms.

6. I’m overhearing talk of layoffs — can I use this as leverage?

I sit next to 2 change managers who are talking about massive layoffs. 25 waves, 100 per wave, to give you an idea of the scale. I’ve been overhearing these conversations for several months now. Recently, I’ve heard my group mentioned as part of the upcoming layoffs. It’s affecting my day to day, just having to listen them talk about my livelihood so nonchalantly.

Do I have any rights in terms of reporting to HR or negotiating a higher severance for having had to hear this? The layoffs are originating from the HR department, so I’m not even sure if it’s worth reporting. I don’t typically use HR as a resource, but I’d love to hear what you think.

Do you have any rights to special treatment because you’ve overheard layoffs being discussed? No. In fact, some might say that you’ve already received the special treatment — the luxury of getting to know ahead of time that you might lose your job and a heads-up that you should be job searching. But as far as reporting it as some sort of wrongdoing or asking for additional severance because of it? No.

7. Why would an employer cancel an interview — after I’d already arrived?

I was recently asked to interview for a position with an organization. The HR department gave me a list of available time slots for the HR manager and the manager of the department where I would be working. I selected a suitable time for both of us, and went to the interview. When I got there, I immediately had my interview with HR and was told that the department manager had set aside an hour to talk to me. After I finished my HR interview, I was told to wait in the reception area and that the department manager would come to get me. 15 minutes later, the HR manager said that they couldn’t find the department manager and that they would go look for her. After another 15 minutes, the HR manager came back to tell me that the department manager was in a meeting and that they would be in touch to reschedule. I was shocked. What are possible reasons that a manager would have another meeting during a mutually agreed upon time and then cancel it after I arrived? Will they even call me back to reschedule?

Reasons: Rudeness and disorganization. But primarily rudeness — since while disorganization may have led her to schedule another meeting for the same time, it was rudeness that led her not to immediately leave it and come meet with you once someone told her you were waiting.

I have no idea whether they’ll call you back to reschedule, but if you have enough other options in your job search, I’d strongly encourage you to turn down a rescheduled interview. You don’t want to work for this person.

It’s short answer Sunday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Being asked about salary when you don’t even know what the job is

I have a question about networking and salary. I have a great networking contact who is in management at a company I want to work for. He told me to apply for a general position (not from a listing) and use his name. The hr contact he gave me got right back to me and thanked me for my interest and asked my salary requirements.

I really don’t know how to respond to this. I’m not even applying for a specific job and don’t have a real idea of what the job entails! I don’t want to price myself out of an interview and I don’t want to lowball myself either. It feels weird to go back to my contact and ask for his advice, but it also feels weird to start arguing with HR over a hypothetical job and salary. Thoughts?

They’re asking because they assume that you, like most people, have a certain range that you’re looking for that corresponds with the type of work you’re seeking to do and the level that you’re at. But it’s certainly reasonable to respond with, “Well, without having a specific position to discuss, it’s difficult to give a specific answer, but in general I’m looking for a position doing XYZ. I’d be glad to talk salary once we’re able to talk about a specific role!”

That said, be prepared for this to be met with skepticism, because they’ll assure you still have a salary range in mind, regardless (which you probably do — it’s just silly for them to be starting there before even hinting at what type of role they’d be considering you for).

2. Talking with multiple recruiting companies without it getting back to my employer

I am in a very comfortable job that I like a lot (3+ years, first job) but I have started to look around for a similar position with more responsibility or a different set of tasks.

I always thought I would be searching for a while for positions in this very specialist field in this small (non-U.S.) area, and I was fine with that. Now it turns out there is a lot of demand for someone with my profile and work experience, and I have had several recruiting companies contacting me without even knowing that I was looking. Do you have any advice on how to coordinate different recruiting companies wanting to talk about job opportunities? I am very hesitant in giving out my information to multiple people since I currently do not want word of my search spreading too far. Are there any unwritten rules that I should be aware of?

If they’re contacting you without knowing that you’re looking, it’s fine to say, “I’m happy where I am now, but I’d be glad to talk with you with the caveat that I need to keep our discussions confidential for now. I wouldn’t want my employer to think I was actively looking to leave.” Which is true.

3. Applying for an internship after being rejected for an entry-level position

I have several companies that I would really like to work for and have applied to entry-level positions there. If I get rejected, is it acceptable to try again for an intern-level position, or will that look inappropriate? (My financial situation means that I really need to try to have a more substantial income if I can, but I will take an internship and work something out if I have to.)

Yes, you can do that.

4. Should I complain to an employer for asking me illegal interview questions?

I interviewed for a position at a small nonprofit (4 full-time staff members). I had two interviews; both were with the executive director and the person I would be replacing (the executive director’s #2). I was highly qualified for the job, had excellent chemistry with both staff members and the organization, and felt confident with my answers to their questions. I was not hired.

During the course of the interview, I was asked several questions by both staff members that I know are illegal. These included, “Do you have children?” and “Where did you grow up?” The one that especially bothered me was about where I lived and “How long is your commute?” I live in a suburb but no more than 30 minutes from the city and it is an average commute (i.e., all my neighbors do it and my last commute was 80 minutes). This came up again in my second interview. There was nothing in the job description, nor did anyone tell me the job required urban residency. I know a lot of these questions came up conversationally but I still feel bothered by it.

I was rejected in a voicemail. I emailed a thank you and got a pleasant thank-you back. I want to reply and let them know they are asking illegal questions and while I won’t press charges or while I don’t care, they should know if they want to grow their organization. But a part of me thinks I am just bitter and should let it go. Thoughts?

Yes, let it go. These are not illegal interview questions. In fact, there’s no such thing as an illegal interview question, other than questions asking about disabilities. All the other ones that people think are illegal — questions about kids, marital status, ethnicity, religion, etc. — aren’t illegal. What’s illegal is making a decision based on the answers, and so as a result, smart interviewers don’t ask them — no point in asking a question that (a) you can’t take into consideration and (b) might make the candidate think you’re going to illegally base your decision on.

What’s more, even the law preventing employers from making decisions based on the answers to these questions wouldn’t apply in this case, because Title VII of the Civil Rights Act only applies to employers with 15 employees or more, so this employer isn’t even covered by it. And what’s more on top of that, asking where you grew up (unless it’s designed to get at ethnicity or national origin) or how long your commute is isn’t even sketchy; they’re pretty common get-to-know-you questions.

All of which means, let it go and move on.

5. Should I keep recommending this former intern or should I decline?

I’ve recently served as a reference for an intern who worked under me a couple of years ago. His work was sub-par and I wasn’t particularly impressed with his soft skills either. I’ve been recommending him as an act of good will but am wondering what other options I have without ruining his chances for the positions he’s applying to now? Should I continue to recommend him or can I decline?

Please decline. Would you want someone recommending you hire a candidate whose work was sub-par? Your own credibility is at stake here; you’re vouching for work that you know isn’t good. Tell him you no longer feel comfortable acting as a reference for him.

6. Recovering from a bad interview when you’ll want to apply again

I have a question about recovering from an awful interview, when the organization is one that you’ll need to apply to again. I recently had my first post-grad school interview for a contract position with a regional government. I prepared in advance by brushing up on Excel, reading about the acts covered by the department, studying the position, and practicing interview questions. I felt well prepared (thanks in no small part to your interview guide).

But the interview was terrible. The interviewers asked questions that I wasn’t expecting (I understood the job to be focused on client service; the questions were much more technical and covered ground not outlined in the position). The only opportunity to address how I would be a good fit in terms of experience and personality was at the very end, during the “do you have anything to add?” stage. I don’t think I did all that well on the skills test, largely from the stress of what I knew was a bad interview, but partly because I didn’t have the level of technical skill that I was expecting to need from the job description. Overall, just a bust.

My question is, how do I proceed when applying to future postings with this organization? Should I just lay low for six months or so? I live in a rural region, and this is one of the major employers for people with my background. Honestly, I’m just thrown. I feel like it was such a bad way to start off my job search, and I’m embarrassed by my performance.

Assuming you don’t get the job, follow up with them with a gracious note, and say that you realized in the interview that you didn’t have the technical skills for this particular position, that you hadn’t realized that beforehand, but that you’re very interested in working with them in some capacity and that you hope that won’t mind if you’re in touch in the future about openings that seem like a better fit. Then do so.

This is a good approach because it will show that you understand why this wasn’t the right fit and that you’re not clueless about what your strengths are, and it will set you up applying again in the future. That assumes, though, that the company is smaller enough that anyone will remember or care — if they’re large enough, no one will and this won’t matter at all.

7. How should I approach this potential networking contact?

I’ve read several of your responses about not asking for informational interviews when you really want a job interview, and I’m not sure what I want or what’s appropriate. Recently I was browsing LinkedIn and came across the profile of someone whose list of certifications and resume matches what I’d like mine to look like in the future. He’s employed by a company whose work I’m impressed with and works on projects that I find interesting and lives in a city where I’m planing on relocating.

He viewed my profile and added me as a connection and then a few days later viewed my profile again. I’d like to send him a message to ask if he has some time to answer some questions about how to grow my career, but also would like to ask him to keep me in mind for future openings. Is this a bad idea?

Start with the first part and hold off on the second for now. He doesn’t know you yet and has no reason to keep you in mind for future openings. The value that he really brings to you is that his career looks like what you’d like yours to look like, so focus on that. Send him a note telling him exactly that and ask if he’d be willing to let you pick his brain about his career path and how you can follow a similar one. (And then make sure you come prepared with good questions; it’s frustrating when you make time for a request like this and then the person doesn’t have many questions to ask.)

It’s short answer Saturday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Do I have to call applicants back?

Our company submitted a job position online. It says to submit a resume through a link. Now I’m getting a bunch of phone calls about the position. Am I obligated to call these people back?

No. You gave clear instructions, and these people are ignoring them. If you feel like it, you can put a message on your outgoing voicemail directing people to apply through the web link, but either way, you’re not obligated to call these people back. If you did, you could potentially spend hours on it.

2. Who pays for lunch at a recruiting meeting?

I am meeting a potential job prospect. I am gainfully employed, but another firm is interested in me. We are meeting for lunch at a restaurant on Tuesday. Do I offer to pay, and how do I do it gracefully?

No, they pay. Recruiting is a business expense for them.

3. Should I send a resource I created to my new team or will I look like a suck-up?

I made myself a reference document that’s an alphabetical list of all ~200 vendors my company works with. Having them all together on a 2-page document is a major time saver, since there was no document like this before; the only listing of vendors was in a dropdown menu in the software (listed by region, not alphabetically). Should I share this document with my boss or my team? I’ve only been at this job a month and I don’t want to look like a know-it-all or a suck up, I just know this document is useful to me and would probably be useful to other members of my team.

Unless you’ve seen signs that your new coworkers would be the type to take a helpful resource as signs that you’re sucking up or acting like a know-it-all (which most people wouldn’t; you’re looking signs of the unusual here), then by all means, send it around. Don’t send it with a note like “I was surprised this didn’t exist,” of course; instead, say something like, “I created this to help myself and thought others might have use for it too.”

4. How long should it take to approve leave requests?

What is a reasonable length of time for a leave (vacation) request to be approved once it is submitted? We have a manager who holds up everyone’s leave approval until his own plans are finalized so he can have first choice on popular days. We’d like to complain to the director and have a proposed policy in hand. There is nothing specific in the company policy – just “at the discretion of the department head or director.”

Anything longer than a week seems excessive to me — and even that’s on the long side; there’s no reason these can’t have quicker turnaround. But if you’re proposing a policy, a week is a reasonable limit. You can point out that people need to be able to make plans, confirm reservations, etc.

5. Giving your boss a baby gift

My significant other went into work today to find out that his manager of seven years is going to be out for a month because he and his wife just adopted a 4-year-old boy (nothing was said before today, and he will be out starting tomorrow). I think that it is polite and proper etiquette to get the child a gift and give it to his manager when his manager returns to work, but my boyfriend thinks that it will be seen as sucking up and weird. I’ve always thought that this is completely normal. So what’s the appropriate thing to do here?

He’s certainly not obligated to get a gift, but it would be a kind and gracious thing to do if he’s moved to — but it sounds like he’s not really moved to. And if that’s the case, there’s no need. There should never be an obligation to gift upward in the workplace.

That said, if he decides he wants to, I’d send it to his home address, if he can — but if he can’t, giving it to him once he’s back is fine.

6. Interviewer missed our scheduled phone interview and now I can’t reschedule

HR scheduled a second phone interview with me and a director. But the director never called. After 20 minutes of waiting, I emailed HR that I didn’t hear from the boss and to reschedule. HR called (I missed it) and left a voicemail saying that the boss did call me, but that I didn’t answer and there was no way to leave a voicemail. She even acknowledged that as odd since she was currently leaving me a voicemail. I’m positive the boss called the wrong number, but now HR won’t return my emails or calls to reschedule. Am I being penalized for the director’s mistake? How many times should I follow up? It’s my dream job!

You can try one more time, saying that you’re really eager to reschedule and asking if that’s possible. (Make sure you wait three days from your last contact.) But if they don’t respond after that, there’s not much more you can do, unfortunately. But I wouldn’t think of it as being penalized for someone else’s mistake — that’s just how this stuff plays out sometimes; you have very, very little control over many of the elements that go into whether you interview for and get any particular job.

P.S. It’s probably not your dream job!

7. Can I ask to be laid off rather than demoted?

I’m in my mid 20s and have been at my job for a year. I was hired for a junior position but in the first month was unofficially bumped up to mid-level, not in pay or title, but in function, when they let go of an outside agency that did the same work as I do. I am the only person at my company that performs this type of work, I’ve gotten only good feedback, and am proud of what I’ve accomplished.

A month ago, my boss was let go, which has slowly kicked off the restructuring of my department. The president has not shared any details until yesterday, so it’s been a stressful, strange time. Yesterday it was revealed that there would be three new positions in my department, one of which would be filled by the president’s good friend, who works in my field. In his list of positions for our new department, mine was not named, but a support/assistant type job to his friend was. We are supposed to learn in a week or two what these roles mean for us.

I feel like I am either being fired, or demoted. Honestly, I’d prefer the former. I’ve worked so hard over the last year, and think I’ve accomplished so much, I’m looking to move forward not back. Is there a respectful way to communicate that, with no hard feelings, I’d rather be laid off? I’m going to look for work but am also concerned about how a demotion would look on my (small) resume.

You can certainly say that you feel the new role would be a demotion and not in line with what you signed up for and ask to be laid off instead. (They may or may not agree; if they don’t, then you’d need to decide whether to stay while you search or quit.)

However, I’d think long and hard about leaving before you have another job. Job searches often take far longer in this market than people think they will (often a year or even longer), and it’s easier to find a job when you’re currently employed. Plus, it’s possible that you’ll find that the new role isn’t as bad as you think. Why not start an active search without leaving?

I’m sleepy and headachey today, so rather than do a final Friday post, I’m going to do something different. Here are a bunch of links to articles that I like, from my folder of bookmarks, none of them related whatsoever to the stuff that we normally talk about here.

In return, I’d love it you shared your own links to stuff you like (not workplace-related!) in the comments. Add in why you like it, and that’s even better.

(This was inspired by a commenter who earlier shared a link to this post at the Happiness Project, which I really liked, and it made me want to know what else you could be sharing here.)

drowning doesn’t look like drowning
Read this. It’s the first thing I read this morning and it made a huge impression on me.

how to cuddle with an elephant seal
This makes me jealous.

how poetry became an essential part of American weddings, and why it’s hard to choose a poem of one’s own
I don’t know why this is so interesting, but it is.

fold the perfect fitted sheet
This is not an intuitive skill.

soldier being greeted by his dogs upon returning home
I dare you to watch this and not cry.

Alice, off the page
Speaking of crying, a love letter by the great Calvin Trillin to his recently deceased wife.

People drink hot Dr. Pepper? What the hell?

11 simple rules on what to do when a parent dies
I wish I’d had this when my dad died. Especially the part about smells.

advice to the young on their wedding day
As someone on the verge of matrimony, I’m devouring this stuff. Feel free to send more.

the myth of the 8-hour sleep
Rather than sleeping through the night, humans used to sleep in two distinct chunks. In the middle of the night between the two chunks, “people were quite active. They often got up, went to the toilet or smoked tobacco and some even visited neighbours. Most people stayed in bed, read, wrote and often prayed.” Fascinating.

I’m throwing this very interesting scenario out to readers to weigh in on. A reader writes:

Several people in our department, including me, have company-issued tablets and laptops. On Tuesday, I went to a coworker’s office to talk for maybe 20 minutes, and when I came back, my tablet was gone from my desk. (I noticed about half an hour later when I opened my desk drawer where it’s kept, but that was the first time I’d left my desk since putting it in that drawer.)

The tablets all have tracking apps, but when I pulled it up it still showed the office’s location, so it’s not like some random stranger broke in, took my iPad out of my desk, and left. I assumed someone in the office had borrowed it (weird, but it made more sense than anyone stealing it) and waited until the end of the day to see if it got returned. It did not. (If I had it to do over, I’d send out an email to my officemates asking if anyone had seen it, but I was so nervous that I hated to draw attention to the disappearance.) When I pulled up the tracking info later, from home, it showed my boss’s address.

Wednesday morning, I went to her office and said my iPad was showing at her house and asked if I might have accidentally handed it to her when I gave her a pile of stuff the day before (even though I knew that wasn’t how it happened). Without even looking through the stuff on her desk, she said no way and that “those things are never accurate.” She isn’t very tech savvy and seems to think that because GPS is sometimes off by one or two houses, that means it could randomly pull up her house, in a town 20ish miles away, totally by accident.

I said I would take another look around, but now I don’t know what to do. I’m terrified to report this because it’s in our use agreement that we’re responsible for replacing lost devices. But I know where it is and that it wasn’t taken by accident—it’s not like I left it on top of my desk and she could have picked it up with a pile of stuff. I guess I could have kept it on me to avoid this, but I can’t really carry both it and my laptop around every time I have to go to the bathroom or meet with a coworker. I think it should be safe to leave these things on/in your desk in a closed (to the public) office with at most six people in it.

Technically she’s the one I’d report a lost device to and she’d move that up the chain. I don’t know if she will do that right away since I said I’d look for it again. Since I know where it is (and saved a screenshot of the tracking info in case she manages to disable it), should I approach her boss with that? Should I file a police report like I would if it showed a stranger’s address?

There’s one other thing—while I was trying to figure this out, I remembered that there have been a few weird incidents in our office. One employee thought there was some money missing from her wallet, because she’d withdrawn five twenties from the ATM a few days prior and only had three left. But she said it was possible someone at her house took it even though that had never happened before. Our admin was short on her petty cash by $100 once, and this manager told her she must have calculated wrong. The same woman who thought she had money missing was complaining one day that she couldn’t find her parka, but she never followed up on it so for all I know she found it again, so that’s even more iffy. But I’m starting to wonder if the incidents are all connected. We’ve only had this manager since January, and both of those money incidents plus the jacket thing happened since then; prior to her arrival, nothing ever went missing like that. Should I bring up those incidents because of the possible link, or is it inappropriate to speculate?

Also, was I wrong to leave my devices in my desk (or on top, which is where I leave my laptop?) I mean, like I said, it would feel weird to have to unplug everything and carry it to the bathroom or other offices, but I’m willing to do that going forward if that’s considered best practice when you have company property.

Thanks for any advice you might have. I definitely can’t afford $400 for a tablet and this is really freaking me out.

Well, readers, what say you?

It’s fast answer Friday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. I blew up at my coworker; which of us was out of line?

I work for a fairly large defense contracting company, and it’s my first job out of college. I’ve been working there for nearly 2 years, and I share an office room with 3 other people. The other day, one of my office-mates needed to thread some Ethernet cord through above the ceiling panels of my part of the office. When he started, I was concerned with the dirt and fiberglass getting all over my workspace and I tried to persuade him to consider alternatives. However, he dismissed my suggestions, saying that I was just being self-serving, and he basically bulldozed right on through, threading the cord across the ceiling, stepping on my desk and my papers and having dirt falling down on my space. I got over-agitated and cursed at him, and he fired back, saying that I was being a jerk. We talked about it today, and he said his position was that he was doing his job and he needed to thread the cord regardless, so he took the liberty to do it his way. My problem was that he handled the situation disrespectfully, and did not make clear to me his plans and didn’t take into consideration the mess he was going to make.

He has thoroughly pissed me off because I see my office space as my space, and he violated it by doing whatever he thought he needed to. I am super upset about the issue and the only thing keeping me from talking to my manager about it is that he gave a dry apology (no emotion) and my team is close knit and I fear drama hurts the team. I’d rather have everyone get along, but I’ve noticed he has an attitude towards me and I am not sure if its because I am advancing on the team faster than him or if he is legitimately upset with his assignments and so he loses patience. Either way, I’m getting annoyed and he doesn’t seem to understand he needs to stop treating me in a disrespectful manner. Could I have handled the situation differently? Do I have the right to feel disrespected?

From what I can tell, you were the one who was out of line. He had a job to do, and if he needed to thread something through the ceiling panels above your desk, that’s what he needed to do. The thing about workspace in an office is that it’s not really “yours”; it can be disrupted at any time when a company priority intervenes. You should apologize for losing your temper with him.

2. Should interviewers respond to candidates’ thank-you notes?

I often interview candidates at my company. We’re a successful startup that’s getting a lot of attention, so we tend to have highly qualified, enthusiastic candidates who send followup notes/emails after their interviews. Often I receive these emails before we’ve made a hiring decision. And I’m stumped: do I reply? If so, how do I express professional friendliness while not raising hopes prematurely?

Candidates usually interview with 7-8 employees (and yes, they’re at our office for 5-6 hours — it’s a long day for them). So while I may interview a candidate for 45 minutes, I’m not the final decision maker. Any tips on whether/how to respond?

You don’t need to — think of it like gift etiquette, where if someone sends you a thank-you note for your gift, you’re not expected to then send them a thank-you for their thank-you. If you were, it could become an endless cycle, and we would all just keep thanking each other over and over. That said, it’s certainly a kind and gracious gesture to reply to a candidate’s thank-you note with a quick, “thank you for the note, and we’ll be in touch soon.”

However, be aware that no matter how carefully you choose your wording, some candidates will study the note to try to find hidden meanings in it. I know this because people regularly ask me to interpret these notes for them. But there’s nothing you can do about that, and you don’t need to forego responding just because someone might read something into it that’s in no way there.

3. Listing dollar amounts of scholarships on your resume

As a college student, is it appropriate to list the dollar amount of scholarships/awards received on a resume? I’ve Googled around and people seem to think this is a tacky practice. I currently have: name of scholarship, dollar amount, and a short description (all on the same line, so it’s not necessarily taking up a lot of space). Should I take the dollar amounts off?

Yeah, I don’t think the dollar amounts are really relevant and will indeed come across as a little tacky to some. I’d only refer to the amount if it was enormous — and even then I’d just say “full scholarship” or something without naming the specific dollar amount

4. Company is changing my status from employer to contractor

I am wondering if you can tell me if a company has the right to change an employees status from W2 to 1099 without a 30 day notice?

Sure. There’s no 30-day notice period required. However, they do need to ensure that you’re actually being treated as a contractor once they make that change — which is probably fairly different than you were treated as an employee. So I’d read up on the law and make sure you know what that’s supposed to look like.

5. Is this a bad idea?

Would you think that someone was a whack job if on their resume they:

1. Replaced the word “Objective” with “Aspiration”
2. Replaced the word “Experience” with “Professional Undertakings”
3. Replaced the word “Education” with “Enlightenment”

Yes.

6. What to ask in an internal interview

I’ve been with my current organization for about two years. Recently, a promotion became available at a different location than mine for the same job I’m doing now, but with more responsibility. I feel like I’m well prepared for the interview, but I’m floundering a bit on what kinds of questions to ask them. Because it’s an internal position, I already know a lot about the culture of the location, the benefits and salary, the manager’s style, and the expectations of the job. I’ve met the manager several times, and know many of the people who work there. Other than your magic question (“thinking about people who have really been outstanding at this job in the past, what differentiates them from people who were merely good?”), are there other aspects I’m not thinking of that I could ask about?

Think about what you really want to know. When you think about doing the work every day, what are you wondering about the work itself, the challenges, how success is measured, the immediate and longer-term goals, the team, etc.? People sometimes feel stumped about what questions they should be asking in an interview, but generally if they really think about it, there’s loads of stuff that they don’t know and would like to.

7. Why would a company be hiring in an area that will likely have layoffs?

I had an interview with a very large company. I did some more researching and found they lost a large contract last year and a bigger one, almost 25% of their business, this year. They are planning a workforce reduction, according to the internet news. Why would a company even interview for a position in an area that will most likely have reductions?

Because they may not be planning to cut that particular position. When done well, layoffs aren’t across-the-board slicing. They’re specific cuts that are carefully and strategically chosen. They still have plenty of positions that they need to keep, and the one you’re interviewing for may be in that category. On the other hand, it might not be — this could be an example of a company recklessly hiring when they shouldn’t be. So ask — ask about what you’ve read and how it’s likely to affect this role and the larger team you’d be working with.

A reader writes:

I am a hiring manager. I just did a phone interview where the candidate said, “Since you are going to ask me for three references, can you give me three references of ex-employees to find out if I would like to work for you?” How should I approach this?

The request itself is actually a good one — but the timing and wording that the candidate used raise some red flags for me.

First let’s talk about the request in general, leaving aside for the time being the way this particular candidate handled it. In general, you should welcome the idea that the candidate is looking for a position where the fit is really right and that she’s being thoughtful and careful in determining if this job will work out on both sides. In fact, I’m surprised that more candidates don’t ask to talk to people who have worked with their prospective manager before taking a job. Given the major impact that a manager has on what your day to day quality of life will be, it seems almost negligent not to talk with people who can tell you first-hand what the manager is like to work with.

So, yes, after a certain stage in the interview process, you should be willing to put candidates in touch with people you currently manage, or former staff members. (And in doing so, it’s perfectly reasonable to pick who they talk with based on who you think will be most helpful. You’re not obligated to connect them with employees who you’re not impressed with or who you don’t click with, or to put them in touch with a former employee who’s disgruntled, etc. …. just like candidates generally pick and choose who they put on their own reference lists. It’s up to the candidate whether they want to go digging beyond that on their own.)

In fact, even if a candidate doesn’t ask to talk with others on your team, it’s often a good idea to arrange it for your finalists anyway — because it will help them flesh out their understanding of your culture and the work you do, which will help attract the people who are the right fit and help those who aren’t self-select out, and because you can get useful input from others who meet with the person.

Keep in mind, too, that if an employer is resistant to allowing this, it’s going to signal to good candidates that they’re either hiding something because they have a culture problem, or that they think reference-checking should be a one-way street, which can indicate an environment where employees’ input and quality of life aren’t valued. And those aren’t signals you want to send to good candidates.

Now, all that aside, while I like these requests in general, the way your particular candidate handled this is ringing alarm bells all over the place. First of all, the wording was unnecessarily aggressive and a little adversarial. There’s no reason she couldn’t have said something like, “I’m looking for a position where the fit is really right because I’d like to stay for a long time. Would it be possible for me to talk with others on the team, to help me flesh out my understanding of the culture and the work?”

Secondly, the timing is way, way off. This was a phone interview, and therefore presumably a very early stage of your hiring process. The time for this request is when things have progressed much further and the candidate is a finalist, or even after an offer has been made — i.e., once both sides have determined that there’s sufficient interest in each other that it’s reasonable to take up other people’s time in this way. Asking it early on, and on a phone interview in particular (if I’m right in thinking the phone interview indicates it’s an early stage of contact) signals that this person is overly demanding and doesn’t have a good grasp on what’s reasonable and how things work. And that doesn’t bode well.

(And yes, I know that employers ask for references at this stage all the time, but as I’ve said many times here, they shouldn’t.)

So, the request itself: reasonable. The way it was made: not reasonable. Proceed with caution.

More specifically, I’d tell the candidate, “If we progress in the process, I’d be glad to put you in touch with people who have worked for me” … and I’d be on high alert for further signs of problems in how she operates.

A reader writes:

I recently took a drug screen for an internship I had applied for. The results were somewhat delayed in getting back, so I emailed the HR rep and asked her if she had any information. The next morning, she emailed me saying my screens (hair and urine) had come back negative, and that I would be starting the following Monday. This is my first major employment, and first in my field (Engineering) that I could use for experience, so I was delighted, and spent the entire day telling friends, family, even sending emails to old teachers/professors thanking them for their help.

However, this evening I got a call from the clinic where the test was done, telling me I had failed the hair test. (I had been a fairly frequent marijuana smoker until midway through my past semester, when I decided to quit for good because it was affecting my schoolwork. I assumed I would be able to pass any sort of test, though I did not realize hair tests could be so precise.) The next day the HR rep informed me that due to the failed test, they were removing the offer.

I realize the company has a right not to hire me if they feel drug use might affect my work, but what I am upset about is the way they carelessly and incompetently handled the situation. I cannot even tell you how furious I was, not only because I was now jobless, but for the enormous humiliation I would have to face when explaining to all those people why I am still without a job. I understand they cannot hire me if I failed the screen, but I want to know if I am entitled to any damages or compensation due to the mistake on their end. I have saved all of the emails between us, including the one which VERY CLEARLY states that I passed the tests and had been accepted into the program. It is a large company so I doubt I can do much, but I am considering filing a complaint about the HR rep in an attempt to get her fired. That may be a tad vindictive on my part, but you must understand the way I now appear in the eyes of my family/friends/colleagues.

You’re not going to get her fired, and you’re not going to get any damages or compensation; all you can do is move on.

Sometimes people make mistakes. And sometimes job offers are rescinded. It’s crappy when it happens — really crappy. But you don’t really have legal recourse, especially since you actually did fail the test — which in the eyes of most people is going to severely compromise the high ground you would have otherwise had.

Now, if you’d turned down another position or quit your job in order to accept this one — in other words, if you’d suffered material loss due to their mistake — you might have some fodder for pushing back on them … if this were a simple rescinded offer. But because it’s linked to a failed drug test (and the failure was an accurate one, it sounds like), you don’t have much room to really do anything here. (And I say that as someone who opposes drug testing for all but an extremely limited number of jobs, and who is opposed to drug prohibition in general. In other words, I’m a fairly sympathetic audience, but even I don’t see that you have any room to push back here.)

But if what you’re most upset about is that you had told people you had the job and now you have to explain that you don’t, that doesn’t have to be a big deal. It certainly doesn’t need to qualify as “enormous humiliation.” You can simply tell people the offer ended up falling through; you don’t need to go into details. Offers do fall through; people aren’t likely to think less of you because of it.

Overall, though, I think the message to take away from this is that you shouldn’t start your career expecting fairness and thinking that you can get damages if something unfair happens. While there’s plenty about work that is fair, there’s also plenty that won’t be, and the times when the unfairness is likely to result in you being paid damages are pretty rare. So are the times when it makes sense to act out of vindication and try to get someone fired — not only do those attempts generally fail, but they can hurt your own reputation. Your best course of action here is to simply move on.

It’s terse answer Thursday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. How can I best manage sick leave for my growing business?

I run a small Florida-based business (around 35 employees). Our company is growing and as the company grows, so do the HR problems. My current issue — We offer employees 80 hours of vacation leave (planned time off) and 40 hours of sick leave (unplanned time off). I have a few employees who have already used up their 40 hours of sick leave, and my concern is that now they will want to use vacation time if they’re sick. Some people may think it’s not a big deal, but there is a big difference in scheduling time off and calling in 30 minutes before your shift. From a management perspective, if I know someone will be out, I can allocate resources as necessary ahead of time. But if an employee calls in sick, then it creates a little more havoc with shifting around lunch schedules or finding someone to open/close the office. I’m not complaining about the 40 hours of sick leave that’s been allocated to an employee, but my question is, do I have to let them take time off from vacation leave if they exceed those 40 hours?

I would like to change our company’s policy and insert the following language in our HR manual to deter employees from calling in when they just don’t feel like coming to work and really use sick leave for its intended purpose (when they are sick): “Employees who call in sick after they have used up their allocated 40 hours of sick leave (unplanned time off) in a calendar year must provide HR with a doctor’s note. If this documentation is provided, the employee may use vacation time (if they have it available). Unplanned time off used in excess of the allocated 40 hours per calendar year AND if the employee does not provide a doctor’s note will not be paid (vacation time cannot be used).”

Sure, you can do that. In fact, since no law requires that you offer paid time off at all, you can put any restrictions on it you want. Most employers do not allow vacation time to be used as sick leave, or only do so with restrictions on it — for exactly the reason you say, the fact that unplanned leave is more of an inconvenience than planned vacation time.

However, be aware that you cannot dock exempt employees’ pay in a week in which they do any work. So if they’re exempt, unless they’re out for the full week, you can’t make them take that time off unpaid. You can charge it against their future leave accrual, or you can discipline them for excessive absences (up to and including firing), but you can’t legally dock their pay.

By the way, if you have multiple employees out of only 35 who have already used up 40 hours of sick leave after just five months of the year and still need more, you might take a look at whether people are abusing your leave policy. Certainly people get sick, and sometimes it requires more than five days in five months, but if it’s happening with frequency on such a small staff, I’d wonder if something else was going on.

2. Letting my boss know I’m interested in a new managerial role that might be created

I work for a relatively new department in a much larger organization. The boss is currently having some ideas about reorganizing the department – not changing our individual job duties, but just reorganizing the way we are lumped together on the org chart. I actually made the suggestion for one of the changes that is going to be made. What I didn’t realize at the time was that this would make it possible for there to be a new manager position. One of my colleagues mentioned that the boss had said something along those lines to him, but this is all very vague at this point.

My question then, is this: Is there any way I can or should bring this up with my boss and tell him that if there is a manager position created, I would like to be considered? I would love to just wait until it’s more official, but considering the track record of this department, by the time it’s mentioned in any sort of “official” way, my boss will already have decided who he wants to promote. The reason I’m afraid of not being considered, although I think I am uniquely qualified for this imaginary position, is that unfortunately, another of the managers here has told my boss that I am not comfortable with the idea of supervising, which is not true at all. What do you think I should do and if I do approach him, any tips on how to do it?

Yes, you should tell him, and you should tell him now. If someone else told him — wrongly — that you’re not comfortable with the idea of managing, then it’s all the more important that you talk to him now so that you can proactively correct that misperception. This isn’t the kind of thing you want to passively allow to be out there — talk to him and give him correct information.

3. My friend is dating my boss’s boss

A friend of mine recently started dating my boss’s boss, and I am hoping for advice on how to handle this. I am content knowing as little information about this as possible to maintain my professional relationships, but our mutual group of friends often have social get-togethers where significant others are welcome. I could see this becoming awkward on several levels, particularly given the age difference between us and him.

Don’t drink too much around him, and ask your friend not to share any information about you with him. And if either of them ever attempts to involve you in any relationship drama, no matter how slight, refuse refuse refuse to get involved.

I’d also probably attend fewer get-togethers where the friend is likely to bring the boss (and if she’s any kind of friend, she should understand why), but aside from that, there’s not much else you need to do (or could do).

4. My promised bonus didn’t show up in my check

My boss, who is the owner of the company, was really excited about some work I’ve been doing and told me that he would be extending a $1,000 bonus to me on our next pay period. I received my check today with no bonus. Do I say something? If so, is there a good way to say it? I know it’s not ungrateful to let them know that something didn’t go through, but I have an uneasy feeling about it anyway.

“I wanted to check with you about the bonus, since it wasn’t in my check this week. I wasn’t sure if I needed to follow up with payroll or if we needed to do something else.”

5. I don’t like the way my new boss is addressing me and another team member with the same name

I have currently the senior member of my team. Recently, a new supervisor took over for my prior manager. This is her first experience as a supervisor, and she is also new to the the type of work that she has to do, so I have been spending time training her.

There are two of us who work for her who have the same name. She will address emails to us by using our names in the plural, as in, “Hey Cathys – [some request].” I find this very annoying — like we are interchangeable and not individuals. I not sure if I am off base and this is an acceptable method of correspondance or if I should say something to her about how it offends me. Thoughts?

Let it go. I’m quite sure that she doesn’t intend to signal that she finds you interchangeable. She probably just intends it to be a light-hearted alternative to writing “Cathy and Cathy.” You shouldn’t read anything more into it than that, and it isn’t worth complaining about.

6. Taking a personal day when I’m new to the job

I started a new job five weeks ago, and my boss recently emailed me to let me me know I have a personal day that expires at the end of June. Our HR director had told me separately to think of personal days the same as vacation, but I think it may look bad to take a day just for the hell of it before I’ve even been here three months. Is there a way I can ask my boss if this is part of the company culture without seeming overly focused on days off, or should I just let it go?

Your boss reminded you about it, so it doesn’t sound like she’d care if you used it, but since you’re feeling uncertain, just ask. Say something like, “I generally try not to take any time off during my first few months on the job, but do people normally take these when they’re as new as I am? If so, I’d be glad to use it!”

7. Should I withdraw from this hiring process?

I’m going through a tough interview process. It’s for an internal position in a different department that is known to have difficult staff members. I have successfully completed three rounds of interviews and I was expecting to receive a job offer, but then I was informed that a fourth round of interviews will happen. The position would include increased responsibilities and pay, but I am starting to feel anxious about the pressures of working in the department, especially given the abrupt changes in procedures as I go through the interview process. Also, my department would like me to travel soon for a project, but I feel that it would be unethical of me to say I will go when I may put in my two weeks shortly for a new position.

I’m considering removing myself from the consideration for the new department given my anxiety. Would you recommend waiting out the process if it will be resolved in the next week? I’m not sure what to do.

Well, if you know for sure that you don’t want the job, then you can certainly withdraw now. But if you’re not 100% sure, why not wait to see if you get an offer? If you do, you should have an opportunity to ask any additional questions you have about their culture and any concerns you have. Nothing says you have to take the job if you’re not able to put all your concerns to rest, but you might find that you’re able to.

As for your approaching travel at work, this stuff happens. You can’t refuse travel because you MIGHT get an offer; you have to continue along as if you don’t until you actually do. That means that sometimes people book travel that they end up not doing because they change jobs; that’s just part of how all this works and not something you should base your decision on.

A reader writes:

I am a member of a two-person team, and we need a new software tool badly. It will save us many hours per release cycle and will improve the quality and usability of our product by a dramatic amount. Another reason my teammate and I are so invested in getting this tool is because it will give us far more opportunity for learning and actual career skill improvement than sticking with our old, antiquated toolset (some of the software is literally a decade old!). The tool was approved at the end of last year, but it has still not been ordered, and I found out today that there might not be room for this tool in our department’s budget after all.

My teammate and I will be making a case for the tool this Friday, with hard information and numbers on how it will save us time and improve our product, but I’ve gotten the impression that it might still not be enough to convince the upper managers.

Would it be out of line to volunteer to take a pay cut for this year to cover the cost of the tool? It would not be an unmanageable or unreasonable amount of money for me (spread out over the rest of the year), and it would be a one-time cost and not a recurring annual cost.

Don’t do this.

First, it’s going to come across as “I know better than you do how the company should be spending its resources and since you won’t make the right call, let me make it easier for you.” It’s also such an unusual thing to offer that it’s going to seem … well, not naive, exactly, but just sort of unaligned with how this stuff generally works.

Second, it might not matter, because salaries and software often come out of completely different budgets.

Third, it could have consequences that you don’t yet realize. You’re thinking of this pay cut as you essentially “paying for” the software yourself, but you’d be setting yourself up for any or all of the following possibilities:
* Your company could agree to the cut for one year and then freeze salaries next year, which could mean your salary wouldn’t be raised back to its current level, despite your agreement.
* If your company provides 401K matching based on your salary, you could receive fewer matching funds this year than you would otherwise earn.
* If you found yourself looking for a job for any reason, and the company insisted on knowing your current salary (a ridiculous but not uncommon practice), you could end up with a lower offer than you would otherwise have received.

Fourth, in addition to all this, they’re simply unlikely to take you up on your offer. When they choose not to order this software, what they’re saying is that they’ve judged other expenses to be higher priorities. Those decisions about priorities won’t change just because you make this offer.

Fifth, if they did take you up on your offer, they’d be revealing that they’re a pretty messed up company, because they should not allow you to personally shoulder an expense like this. Not unless you’re an owner or partner, and possibly not even then.

Ultimately you’ve got to accept that this one just isn’t your call, as much as you’d like to be able to make it happen.

A reader writes:

I suffer from extremely painful menstrual cramps. It is worst on the first day of my cycle: abdominal pain, cold sweats, vomiting, leg pain, “the shivers,” etc. I’ve asked my OB/GYN about this, and he cannot seem to find any illness (endometriosis, fibroids, etc.) that could be causing the pain. I have tried a variety of methods: natural remedies, taking medication days before, modifying my diet, birth control, and even prescribed meds to treat the pain, but cannot get any long-term relief.

This is my first full-time job out of graduate school and while in school, I was always able to manage with shifting my schedule when my cycle started. Since I’ve started working, its a little difficult to do so. Last month, I tried to go in and work through the pain, but once my supervisor saw me, she suggested I go home. The pain is unbearable and I normally stay in bed and/or sleep until the late evening to get some relief.

I don’t want to have to continue to take sick days if my cycle begins on a workday. We are allowed to telecommute when needed and I am more than happy to do so when I get sick like this. But I don’t want to seem as if I’m “abusing the system.” I feel it makes me look as if I’m just trying to get out of work and not serious. I really like my position and my supervisor and want to share with her what is going on, but don’t know if that would seem unprofessional and TMI. She is very understanding, but I am not sure how to proceed here. Any advice?

Personally, I’d have a discreet conversation with your manager and say something like, “I want to ask you about something that I feel a little awkward bringing up. I generally have unusually painful cramps on the first day of my menstrual cycle — to the point that my doctor has run numerous tests to see if something is causing the pain. We’re still trying to get it under control, but I wanted to ask you about our telecommuting policy. I’d love to be able to work at home on this day each month so that I can continue to get work done instead of using a sick day, but I don’t want to misuse the policy. Is that something I could reasonably do, or would that be discouraged?”

In other words, just ask.

But I want to acknowledge that this is a much easier conversation because your manager is a woman. And I feel weird about that, because in general your manager’s gender should play no role in how you operate. But the reality is that this is a topic that women generally feel more comfortable bringing up with women than with men, and so because of that, I think this is an easier conversation in your case.

If your manager were a man, I’d still recommend the same conversation — but with whatever wording you’d be more likely to feel comfortable using. And yes, I know that theoretically you should be able to use the exact same wording with a male manager … but there are plenty of women who wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that. In light of that, for a male manager, I might just use a shorter version — “I get horrific cramps one day a month and would like to telecommute that day.” And if you’re wondering why I don’t recommend something just as brief for a woman, it’s because you risk her thinking you’re overreacting to something she knows from personal experience isn’t generally that bad, and thus the additional “it’s genuinely bad” context is potentially useful to provide. And to be clear, I’m not saying any of this is ideal, but I do think it reflects reality for most people, both on your side of this conversation and your manager’s.

What do others think?

It can be intimidating to be a new grad just entering the post-college job market for the first time. While most grads mastered the world of classes quite well after 16+ years of them, the norms and conventions of the work world – and of job-searching, in particular – are often foreign.

Over at U.S. News & World Report today, I talk about eight of the most common ways new grads trip themselves up when looking for a job, including not having a realistic idea of what they’re qualified for, including loads of details about their coursework on their resume, being overly formal or not formal enough, and more. you can read it here.

It’s wee answer Wednesday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Can my friend avoid being laid off?

My best friend is three months into her first full-time job post-college. It’s not in her field, but she was generally happy with having a job, her coworkers, etc. Her boss just announced that they will be laying off one staff member who will be chosen from a group of three workers doing generally the same thing (my friend is in this group).

The announcement of who it is will be coming in two weeks because it’s corporate’s decision. Naturally, the fear is that she will be the one laid off because she’s the newest worker. Is there anything she can do in the next two weeks to increase her chances of staying? Or is this basically a done deal?

There’s probably not much she can do in the next two weeks. The decision will probably be made either on seniority or merit. She obviously can’t change her seniority, and if it’s decided on merit, there’s not much she can do to change whatever impression she’s already made in that regard, good or bad. What she should do, however, is (a) start job-searching; if she’s laid off, she’ll be glad she had the head start, and if she’s not, she can short-circuit the search at that point, and (b) be prepared to ask for severance if she’s the one who’s let go. To strengthen her case there, she might point out that she turned down other jobs to take this one, if in fact she did; that argument and similar ones can sometimes help.

2. Company doesn’t offer benefits until after six months of employment

I have been offered a job which does not offer benefits (health insurance, paid time off, sick leave, etc.) for the first 6 months. It is a full-time permanent position. Employees do accrue paid time off during that six months but are not paid for any time off.

I have never experienced this before. To me, the company is saying, “We don’t expect our employees to stay here more than six months so we aren’t going to provide them with benefits,” and either people are leaving before six months or getting fired before six months, neither of which is good. What do you think of it?

Some people do leave or get fired before six months in pretty much every company. It’s possible that it’s happening here more than most, but it’s more likely that they simply have a bad insurance policy. I don’t take issue with their paid leave policy — it’s not uncommon to allow leave to accrue but say that you can’t use it in your first six months. It is, however, a bad policy not to offer insurance until six months, because it means that their employees will either have to pay to use COBRA if they had a COBRA-eligible job previously (which doesn’t account for everyone, and COBRA premiums are often very high) or that they’ll be uninsured. So that part of the policy sucks.

3. My manager asked for volunteers to do yard work at our director’s house

One of my managers asked, mostly via email to everyone, for volunteers to do yard work for our director. While this was voluntary and meant as a nice gesture to a well-respected director, it didn’t seem right to me. I voiced my opinion and now my hours have been halved. My concerns included the question of what if someone gets hurt, whether participants would later receive preferential treatment, and whether human resources would condone this.

You were right to speak up, because it’s inappropriate to ask employees to do yard work for a manager. They were wrong to cut your hours as a result. Ethically wrong, that is, and managerially wrong — legally, it’s their right to do that, but it’s a ridiculous response. If you have a good HR department, you might consider raising this to them.

4. Is it useful to mention being in the advanced stages of interviewing with other companies?

I have been working at a very idiosyncratic fixed-term contract job. I’m not paid by the company, but by a third party. It’s impossible for me to keep on working there. I have around $65,000 student loan debt, and I make almost nothing. I am granted the favor of being allowed to list a staff title (low ranking, but at least not “intern”) on my resume and on the company’s website. But it’s not a very respectable industry and has very poor exit options.

After a very, very long period of not having any leads for good, full-time jobs with decent potential for career growth, I’ve gotten a little lucky recently. I got 3 rounds with a company in my desired field, for an entry-level position. But I also am in the second round with a different company in my field, and also a second round with a company in a different, less desired field, but for a higher position.

At this point, my priority is getting any decent offer. Once I have a real job in a decent industry, I will be able to build on that and move up either there or through networking. My question is: In lieu of an offer, is there a way to leverage late stage interviews (being very deep in the interview process) with one company for another? The first company actually told me two times, in my last interview, that I should tell them right away if I had any other offers, and that could speed their decision time up in giving me an offer. It’s been a little over one week now since my final interview there. They told me they’d take a few weeks. I originally planned to follow up in two weeks.

Hearing that you have an offer from somewhere else isn’t likely to push them into making you an offer if they otherwise never would have. All it can do is speed up their decision making process — which could mean a faster “no,” not just a faster “yes.” And you definitely don’t want to bluff and say you have an offer when you don’t, because you risk hearing, “We won’t be making decisions for a while, so you should take it” and then being removed from their process.

But you’re not asking about offers; you’re asking about mentioning that you’re in advanced stages of interviewing with other companies. That isn’t really useful, because employers know all too well that hiring takes time, and you could reach a late stage with a company, only to have it take weeks (or longer) before offers are made.

5. Explaining a job gap due to a mental health issue

Until recently I held a position that I loved in the entertainment industry. However, I am in my mid-twenties, the time of onset for many major mental illnesses, and I learned I am bipolar when I had my first major manic episode. This necessitated my leaving work to get help, and while they loved me and would have held the job if possible (my boss told me this), it is obviously a fast paced industry, and taking two months off isn’t feasible.

Now that I am properly medicated and looking for work again, what do I say when asked why I left my last job? I am confident I can count on good references from my previous job, but how do I explain leaving? I don’t want to vaguely reference a medical crisis that will make them worry about my reliability, but the truth is obviously even worse! Any thoughts would be appreciated.

“I had a health issue that has since been resolved.” It’s accurate and it doesn’t reveal any more than you need to.

6. How can I find out what happened with the job I was interviewing for?

After three months of interviewing with a hedge fund for a senior role, I progressed as far as being told that we would be getting contracts shortly. Three weeks went by and nothing. I emailed and called and am getting no response. I have to assume they changed their mind, but I have never encountered this total lack of professionalism. Any suggestions on how I can find out what happened?

You might not be able to. You’ve attempted to contact them multiple times and they’re not responding. At this point, all you can do is chalk it up to rudeness on their side and move on — which will serve you far better than spending any energy trying to figure out what happened anyway. (Because really, it doesn’t matter what happened, whether it was a better candidate coming along, the position being put on hold, hiring being frozen, doubts about your fit for the role, or whatever. Sure, it would be nice to know, but since they’re being rudely unresponsive, just move on.)

7. My company won’t compensate me for the level of work I’m performing

I am in a situation where I have been in my current job for over 2 years, have been doing excellent work for those two years, but not getting the pay nor the title associated with that level of performance. My performance reviews have been Exceeds Expectations during this time, and the feedback I get is that I am performing at a level far beyond my experience. Not only that, over the last year, my company assigned me to the most critical product launch in the last 10 years, one that saves the company if it is successful, and dooms it if not. (It has been successful and is nearly fully launched.)

My dilemma is this: I am much younger than the typical person in this role, yet I am performing at that much more experienced level and I think I should get compensated for it. The excuse from my management is that I do not meet the on-paper experience requirements for them to place me at the organizational level I think I deserve, and that HR will fight it to the death. My company’s policies/philosophy for this type of thing makes it much more attractive to leave the company for 1-3 years and come back for substantially higher salary and organizational level.

How hard should I push my manager/management, or should I begin to look elsewhere? I do not wish to leave the company, and I very much like the people I work for. My gut feeling is that they do not currently see me as someone at risk to leave, so they are not thinking about this in the same light I am. That said, I am aware that most of the large corporate mindset in America these days is that everyone and anyone is replaceable and that they won’t “use their chips” to “go to bat” for you. I have a mid-year performance evaluation coming up in about a week, and I plan to discuss this then. What should I do?

Start looking for another job. You answered your own question here: “My company’s policies/philosophy for this type of thing makes it much more attractive to leave the company for 1-3 years and come back for substantially higher salary and organizational level.”

You can certainly tell your manager that you’re concerned that the company’s policy encourage you to leave in order to be appropriately compensated, and that you’d like to stay but you do want to be paid fairly … but that’s about all you can do. If you want more money and they won’t give it to you, you’ll need to go somewhere else to get it.

A reader writes:

My boss and I offer English tutoring services to international students who are learning English as a second language at school. Can you please advise me on how to get my new customer (well, I am not sure if she is considered new-new, as I have been working with her for the past 1.5 months already) to pay us on time?

There is a contract that states payment is due every 8 lessons given, but we have not been paid.

I texted and even called her on her mobile, but to no success. I even reminded her myself about her pending payment when she came over to our office for a meeting yesterday and she agreed that she would pay up by the end of the working day.

Honestly, I can see this business relationship working out between us, but I really need her to take us seriously and pay on time — and to understand that it’s not okay to pay one day, if not one week, later, despite reassuring my boss and I that they would have the payment in by a designated time, only to be met with an empty promise on their end.

Well, if you want her to take your payment terms seriously, you need to take them seriously yourself and convey that in how you handle this.

First, don’t text about this. Texting is an informal method of communication; it’s not appropriate to use for something important. You should email or call.

Second, send her a clear and to-the-point email with an invoice attached. Say something like this: “A second copy of your invoice for the last X sessions is attached. As you know, our contract requires payment to be submitted after each 8 lessons. This invoice is now X days overdue. When we spoke about this last week, you said you would submit payment within a day, but we’ve not yet received it.”

That’s step one. If you don’t receive prompt payment, you move to step two — which is to stop providing her with work until you’ve received payment for the work you’ve already done.

When someone shows you by their actions that they don’t take contractual payment terms seriously, you need to show them that you do — and that you expect them too also. Otherwise, you’re telling her that she doesn’t need to — and that’s how people find themselves in situations where they’ve done hours/days/weeks/months of work that they never end up getting paid for, or that they need to spend months chasing down. Set the boundaries now, and enforce them.

A reader writes:

I’d been having problems at work. It was a job I loved at first, but then things changed so much it no longer felt like the job I’d accepted. I’d come to resent my micromanaging boss and my coworkers were driving me nuts, but I tried to stick it out and put on a happy face until I could get a new job. But my resentment showed through and my manager put me on a performance plan to improve my attitude, although when I raised concerns about my job being in jeopardy, he assured me I wasn’t getting fired and I had a month to turn things around.

Nope. Two weeks into the performance plan, I got terminated. Part of me was relieved, even though I also feel horribly ashamed for screwing up so badly. But when I told my dad, he was pissed at the company. For one thing, he felt I should have been given a severance package and I should be paid a month’s worth of wages (he’s an employer too, and hiring and firing is part of his job). He also feels that my boss lied about my not being about to be fired, which was not okay, and that it was low of them to make me sign something but not give me a copy. But I don’t think I’m entitled to any of this — and I don’t want to act like a stereotypical Millenial and demand things I don’t deserve.

I know better than to call them and fight this. It’s not going to do anything, it’ll only make me look bad, and despite having a degree in politial science I’m actually not a fan of gaming a system for financial gain. But he’ll call me a quitter if I don’t at least try. What should I tell him?

Tell him that you’re an adult now and that while you appreciate his input, you’d like him to trust that you know the situation best and that you’re going to make your own decisions about how to handle it, and that you plan to move on and focus on what’s next. If he calls you a quitter, say, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

But for your own background, here are some thoughts on your situation, in no particular order:

Regarding severance, some companies give it and some don’t. You can’t make them do it, especially if you don’t have any leverage that would make them want to — i.e., if they were concerned you were thinking of suing for a legitimate issue, such as harassment or discrimination, they’d have an incentive to give you severance in exchange for you signing a release of claims. But you acknowledge that you were clearly fired for performance, so I don’t see a justification for pushing for severance here unless there are relevant details not in your letter.

As for telling you that you had a month to improve before getting fired, but then firing you after two weeks — I don’t know the specifics of what happened, but if your performance wasn’t showing improvement during those two weeks, or was even getting worse, or if there was a major mistake made during that time, there are certainly cases where it would have been legitimate for them to short-circuit the improvement plan and end things early.

And last thing: Even though it might have felt differently in the moment, it’s important to remember that no one can “make you” sign something. You could have refused, or you could have insisted on a copy before signing. That’s not always something you realize when you’re new to the work world, but it’s something to remember for the future — and it’s something you might point out to your father if he continues raising this.

More importantly, though, your dad doesn’t know all the details, and he seems to be judging this situation as your dad not as an employer — which is natural, but you need to be firm about being an adult and handling this yourself.

A reader asks:

My manager recently told me that she doesn’t like the way I handle mistakes. I do make mistakes, and they’re not always trivial ones, but I usually try to fix them and move on. Apparently since I don’t inform her when this happens, it’s coming across to her as me not taking responsibility or seeming “cavalier” about my work quality. But I don’t understand what she’s looking for. Can you help?

You can read my answer to this question over at the Fast Track blog by Intuit Quickbase today.

It’s tiny answer Tuesday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. I was interviewing for a job when suddenly they started talking about an internship instead

I am going in for a third (and final) interview for a customer service position at a large corporation and have several years of experience in the field. This position would have significantly better benefits and pay as outlined in my initial interview (and posted position). I just received an email stating that my third interview is for a customer service “intern.” I never applied for this, never discussed it, and frankly have no interest. As an intern there are no benefits, and the pay is 40% less than discussed. What are my options, and how are they getting away with this assumption that intern is an acceptable level for someone more qualified?

Well, they’re not “getting away” with anything (it takes two to interview and put someone in a job, you know; it’s not something they can “do to you”), but more importantly, you haven’t spoken up about it! For all you know, it could be a mistake or miscommunication — why didn’t you immediately write back and say, “Your email says that this is for an internship, rather than the staff position we’ve been discussing. Can you please clarify?” If they respond that they think you’d be a better candidate for the internship, then you can let them know that that’s not a path you’re interested in.

2. Asking for an informational interview with a related office

I’m a new paralegal with ABA certification and I’m interning at the county trial court (mostly doing administrative work for a judge’s court clerk). I’m wondering about the best way to request an informational interview with the prosecutor’s office (in the same building) and the public defender’s office (down the street). I’d like to introduce myself and get my resume into the hands of the hiring managers.

It’s a plus that I’m interning because I see assistant prosecutors and public defenders daily in court, and a referral from a judge would go a long way. But I’m not sure about the initial contact with these offices. Should I call, email, mail, or walk my resume in? I do have a contact who works at the prosecutor’s office, but she is in a very junior position and extremely flaky (to be generous). Not sure whether it’s even a plus to mention a connection to her.

Email. Always, always email unless your contact there specifically instructs you to do otherwise. Email allows them to respond when it’s convenient for them (unlike calling or showing up in person), and it allows them to review your materials before doing so.

However, are you sure what you want is an informational interview? Those are not to get jobs; those are to learn about a field. If you ask for one and it turns out you’re hoping they’ll think about hiring you, they’ll (a) not agree to the meeting if they figure it out beforehand, or (b) be really irritated if they figure it out afterwards. If what you want is a job interview, that’s what you need to say.

3. Did my company secretly have this recruiter call me?

I work for a large corporation and was recently told by my manager that I could be promoted this year pending the HR process. About four weeks after that conversation, I got a call from a recruiter saying they saw my profile on Linkedin and had a position I might be interested in.

My company is experiencing a lot of turnover lately. Is it possible HR had this recruiter call me? This recruiter was working very hard to pull information out of me and I got nervous and when that person asked for me to send a resume, I said I would (even though I had no intentions of doing so; I just wanted to end the call). Instead I sent the recruiter an email later that night saying I am happy with my current employer and am not interested in another job.

I mean, it’s possible that HR had a recruiter call you, but it’s very, very unlikely. Close to paranoid levels of unlikely. That’s not how these things normally work. And when a recruiter calls, they normally do try to pull a lot of information out of you, so that isn’t a signal of anything nefarious.

4. Can my resume be as short as half a page?

I’m an average college student. I’ve had a couple internships, and am active in few campus organizations. I strive to keep my resume concise and objective, which makes it roughly half of a page. Is there anything wrong with that? I’m not sure. My college’s career center said yes, and constructed a version that “solved” the problem by being verbose. They also had me include work experience from high school. Perhaps having a half ‘o’ page resumé is an issue, but there’s a better way to fix it.

Yeah, you really want to have enough to say about your qualifications that it fills a page — otherwise, you’re basically conceding that you have so few qualifications that no reasonable employer should consider hiring you … which is the opposite of the normal goal of a resume. That doesn’t mean you should be superfluously wordy, but with a couple of internships and the high school jobs (assuming they were within the last 5-ish years), you should be able to fill a full page if you think about what you did in those jobs.

5. Can I decline an exit interview?

I’m resigning as soon as I get a written offer for another position and formally accept. But I always dread exit interviews. I’m not going to say anything negative because I don’t want to risk hurting a future reference from my current managers, so I’m just going to be super positive and say how great everything is at my current job. There’s nothing horrible going on like harassment or anything that I would feel obligated to report, but there is plenty that needs to be addressed and those things certainly are the reason I’m leaving. With this in mind, how would it be viewed by HR if I just politely declined the exit interview? If it matters, this is a Fortune 500 company, I have a professional position and have been there about two years.

I would much, much rather you simply decline the exit interview than be falsely positive in it. If it’s a form to fill out, just don’t fill it out. If it’s an actual meeting and HR makes it hard for you to avoid it, it would be better to simply be carefully neutral than to take positivity that you don’t feel. But try to just avoid it if you can — say you have a ton to do before you leave or something like that.

6. Online application systems that won’t accept design portfolios

I’m a designer, so I often check design-specific job boards for postings. As expected, to apply for a design position, these postings always ask you submit your resume and portfolio/samples. But large corporations usually don’t give out email addresses; they instead direct you to their career center website. The problem I’m running into is these are never set up to accept portfolios. The past three jobs I’ve applied to… One allowed you to upload a max of 500KB, which is pretty much my resume and nothing else, and my resume is nothing fancy. One just wouldn’t upload my portfolio, no error message, no size limit given (it was 5MB, which I consider reasonable); no matter how many times I hit upload, nothing happened. And one just didn’t even give me the option; there was space to cut and paste my resume and that’s it, no option to upload anything.

So given these difficulties, I’ve just been putting a link to my online portfolio in my cover letter and resume. Short of maybe stalking people on LinkedIn to get a contact, which seems insane, I can’t think of another way to get my work in front of them. But the posting specifically asks to send work samples (and then provides no way of doing so!), and I hate feeling like I’m wasting my time creating targeted resumes, cover letters, and portfolios that they will never see because of there system. Is this reasonable to expect them to click on the link I send? Or am I just wasting my time even applying?

Your solution of including a link to your portfolio in your cover letter and in your resume is exactly right. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect that if your cover letter and resume interest them, they’ll follow the link to see your work. Keep doing that, and don’t stress about it.

7. Should I keep following up for feedback from the job that rejected me?

I interviewed for a job, and didn’t get it. They asked me to ring them, which I did, where they then said I didn’t get it, and asked if I had any questions for them. Note that when they told me, it was exactly when they promised they’d get back to everyone.

I asked for feedback, and the manager said she’d get back to me in the next few days. When a week had elapsed with no response, I sent an email to follow up, saying I was fine with written feedback if she was too busy to phone. She responded by email, saying, “No it’ll be fine, ring me tomorrow.” I did, and she said she was snowed under and could she ring me back in 45 minutes. That never happened, and that was last Friday. Fridays and Mondays are generally busy, so I didn’t bother following up yesterday. Now that it’s Tuesday, should I, or move on? Have I persisted enough in getting feedback?

Yes, move on. You’ve requested her feedback three times now — and while she’s actively encouraged you to do that, if she really was motivated to give you feedback, she would have done it by now.

That’s it for today — I’m taking the rest of the day off to celebrate officially hitting middle age with my 40th birthday, so there won’t be new posts until tomorrow.

Feel free to talk amongst yourselves! (Or check out Saturday’s and Sunday’s posts if you missed them.)

Plenty of things impact your work performance that you can’t control: You might have an unreasonably high workload and not enough time to spend on some items, or a boss who gives you unclear or conflicting instructions, or coworkers whose work you can’t depend on. But lots of things impact your work performance that you can control, as well – and too often, people struggling at work neglect to consider these.

Over at U.S. News & World Report today, I talk about some of the most common ways you might be holding yourself back at work without realizing it. You can read it here.

It’s mini answer Monday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Will my sister be judged by employers for being pregnant and unmarried?

My sister is pregnant and unmarried and just starting out in her career. I’m personally okay with the unmarried thing — she has a boyfriend and will probably will get married. If they don’t, that’s also fine with her (and me!). But what do employers and coworkers think about that? She started a position at the end of last year and while our industry is pretty accepting (tattoos, piercings, casual attire), I’m nervous about her only being junior level and needing to take maternity leave in the beginning of 2014 when she will only have been on board one year and only a college grad for two years. What are the thoughts around this?

Are you in a particularly conservative part of the country where people are known for judging this kind of thing? If not, this is going to be a non-issue. (Plus, if I’m doing the math right, she’ll be having the baby when she’s about 24 — which is on the young side for having a kid, but not shockingly so by any means.)

2. Can I ask for a pro-rated bonus when I’m leaving?

I work for a small but sophisticated organization (less than 10 people, almost all attorneys). Despite our abundance of lawyers, we do not have any formal employee policies or handbooks. We are paid an annual salary that, by my managers’ own admission, is under market, but they compensate for that somewhat with a 12% annual bonus and a lot of flexibility. It is not written anywhere that you need to stay the whole year to receive the bonus, but that’s the implicit understanding. At the same time, this is very much a place where people come for a few years and then move on. It’s not a forever type of organization, and they are pretty open about that. (In fact, I know that at least one person prior to me received a pro rated share of his bonus, though he stayed until August.)

I plan on giving notice next week and would like to strike a deal in which I give a them a month transition time instead of the customary 2 weeks, and do a bang-up job ensuring the smoothest possible transition. (I am quite senior and have a wealth of knowledge; my loss will not be easy on the organization), in exchange for a prorated piece of my bonus. I was thinking of presenting it as something like: “I have an offer that I plan to accept, but they are flexible in my start date. I would like to give you another month, during which I would be happy to train my replacement and ease this transition in any way possible. In return, I would like to be paid a pro rata share of my annual bonus.” I have a list of why I think this is the fair thing for them to do — including the fact that I only took 4 weeks maternity leave a couple years ago upon finding myself due right at my organization’s busiest time. Am I approaching this in a reasonable manner? I would love your insights.

Well, first, you need to understand that bonuses are a retention strategy. They have no incentive to pay it when it’s clearly not going to help retain you. So you need to make a different argument. Offering to help with the transition during your remaining weeks isn’t a good argument, but it’s assumed that you’ll do that as part of being a responsible professional who wants a good reference; implying it’s contingent on getting a bonus would be a bad thing. Connecting it to taking a short maternity leave a few years ago isn’t a good argument either; that’s in the past, it was presumably something you chose to do, and if they were going to reward you financially for doing that, it would have already happened. If you think they’ll want you to give four weeks notice instead of two weeks — want it enough to pay extra for it — then that would be a good argument. But that’s the only one I’d use. (Although you could also offer to be available for questions for a while after you leave, to sweeten the pot, if you wanted to.)

Of course, you could also just do a straightforward appeal of “I’ve worked hard while I’m here, I’ve done an excellent job, and I hope you’ll consider paying me the pro-rated portion of the bonus I would have earned had I stayed.” Some employers will respond to that, and some won’t.

3. Preparing to leave a job to move in a few months

I’ve been planning on leaving my job for about a year, and recently my wife accepted an offer in another city. We’re planning on moving around July 20. I’m not sure how far in advance I should give notice. I don’t expect to be told to leave as soon as I give notice, but I do expect to have to train my replacement or another staff member as my immediate superior doesn’t have the technical skills to do so.

I also have two follow up questions (if that’s okay): I know that my boss has had trouble finding desirable applicants lately and I wanted to offer to assist in the search for a replacement, but I don’t know if that’s a faux-pas. Second, I don’t yet have a job in my new city, but a company that operates nationally that we are partnered with for many projects has opportunities for work there. The manager there wouldn’t hire me without my boss’s blessing, is it alright to broach the subject when I give notice?

How much notice to gives depends 100% on how your manager and your company handle long notice periods. If you’ve seen that they handle them well and don’t push people out the door sooner than they wanted to go, then tell them now. Hiring takes a while, and if they want you to train your replacement, they’ll need to start the process now. (Alternately, though, if they had a track record of pushing people out early, they would have forfeited the right to a long notice period.)

You can absolutely offer to help search for a replacement; there’s nothing inappropriate about that offer. And you can also tell your manager that you’re interested in approaching the company they work with that has offices in your new city. When you’re leaving because you’re moving, this stuff isn’t generally taken personally the way if sometimes would be if you were staying in your same location.

4. Should I be concerned that my job is going to go away?

I work in membership for a large-ish trade association. Much of this job involves working with our organization’s AMS (association management system) to update records, enter new applications for membership and renewals, payment information, etc. Our organization’s operation is somewhat behind the times as far as associations go, but we’re about to change AMS vendors and work with a more lightweight system that has more potential for integration with our other services and more ease of use.

Here is my dilemma: my department is comprised of four people with mainly the same duties (one of us is our department coordinator and has more reporting and administrative responsibility). We are moving to the new AMS in August, and as we learn more about it I am finding that many of the tasks that we are responsible for are going to be automated, with plans to automate more of them in the future.

Should I be concerned, when it seems like a very large percentage of my job is soon going to become irrelevant? I’m having trouble seeing how they can necessitate a department of four people when many of our tasks are going to be going away. Management is pretty sure that our jobs are safe, but I am not sure how much faith I should put into them. Do you have any ideas?

Ask what the plans are for your department’s work distribution once the bulk of its tasks are automated. Do they sound like they have a concrete plan? Or do they sound vague? If they sound vague, that’s a danger sign — they either haven’t thought it through yet (and thus their assurances about keeping you all on are meaningless) or they’re not sharing information with you for a reason. And keep in mind that it’s very, very common for employers not to tell people they’re being laid off until they actually are — which doesn’t mean that’s happening here, but it’s something you want to be aware of.

Regardless, start searching. You don’t have to take an offer if you get one, but job searches take a long time, and by starting now, you’ll be ahead of the game if it turns out in the fall that you need to be.

5. What’s the best way to approach a mentor?

I have some questions about how to approach a mentor I’ve been matched to through my company’s career development program. I went to them because I know the type of work I’d like to go into, but not what actual positions and education that translates to. They connected me to a Very, Very Important Person at my company, who agreed to meet with me to chat about it.

I see people on AAM both frustrated with mentees asking too much and asking too little. Do you have any advice for striking the right balance of engagement vs asking for too much? I feel my questions are inherently a little broad and maybe even difficult, but the counselor said she thought this was the best person to ask. I’m intimidated and nervous of making a bad impression.

Start off by saying, “I’m worried my questions might be too broad to answer easily, so please tell me if that’s the case.” This is usually the best strategy when you have a worry like this — just put it on the table, so the person knows you’ve recognized it as a concern, and then you’ll look considerate and thoughtful if turns out to actually be one. (And even if it doesn’t.)

But questions about figuring out what type of specific positions and education match up with the type of work you’d like to do are precisely the sort of thing that mentors in your field can usually answer.

6. How to handle a contact who hasn’t gotten back to me

I’ve been unemployed for the past several months, and over lunch with an old supervisor, found a position I was interested in at a place this person use to work. He gave me a hiring manager’s name and told me to call and ask about the position. However, this person isn’t necessarily the hiring manager for this particular position. Anyway, the problem is that every time I call, I either get an automated message, or I am told she is out of the office and will get back to me. It’s been four days and I haven’t heard back. The position has been opened for a while, and I would still like to apply. Do I just address the cover letter as Dear Hiring Managers, or do I keep trying to reach this person?

On a sidenote, I was able to find this particular hiring manager on LinkedIn, so I’m trying to decide if it would be appropriate to go ahead and send in a cover letter and resume, and then try to connect with this particular hiring manager over LinkedIn?

Go ahead and apply and address it to “dear hiring manager” if you’re not sure of the name. You can continue trying to reach the contact you have, but give it a week before you try again. And if you don’t get a response to that, then give up. You’ll have reached out and expressed interest, and at that point it’s in her court, and it’ll be annoying if you keep trying.

As for connecting over LinkedIn, you can certainly try. I’m not a big fan of strangers connecting over LinkedIn because they want a job, but some people are fine with it, and it won’t hurt either way.

7. Mentioning a certification that I don’t yet have

I am currently working on a certification that is extremely relevant in my industry — most job postings have it as a preferred qualification (if not mandatory, in some cases). I am registered for all three exams and will be certified by November of 2013 (contingent on my passing the exams, but I don’t think that will be an issue).

Can I put that I am actively pursuing the certification on my resume, expected November 2013? Or would you recommend that I leave it off until I have passed all three exams?

Yes, put it on, with the date that it’s expected.

It’s short answer Sunday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. My manager humiliated me in front of everyone

I am in a toxic work environment that I am desperately trying to leave. A large project I work on had a massive cock-up. I am unsure what happened, to be honest, but a massive database had its information scrambled. I told my supervisor. She then asked me to announce it during a group meeting. Then, she had the entire office take my massive file, individually check my work, and had me sit at my computer as they read off the mistakes that needed correcting. She then made a joke in a separate office later that there was a method to her madness, and she had me “hook, line, and sinker”, and several members of the office then laughed (not all, and several looked very uncomfortable).

Again, the file was messed up. But, the way my manager approached it… it was humiliating. My fellow admin was extremely upset for me. I’m not sure what to do! Should I go to HR about this specific situation? My supervisor has been investigated in the past, under an HR manager that left in a bit of scandal, for bullying and other issues, and has not gotten in trouble.

Should I just leave without finding a new job? I am trying to leave, and while this was a mistake, I did not feel I deserved to be placed in that situation.

That sounds awful, and you should absolutely be actively looking if this is typical behavior for her, but don’t leave without having another job lined up, because job searches in this market take far longer than people think they will (often a year or more) and it’s much harder to find a job when you’re unemployed than when you’re still working.

As for whether it would be worth talking to HR … maybe, maybe not. This post may help. But in general, HR isn’t there to stop managers from being jerks, and this company has already shown a reluctance to intervene with her.

2. Is it okay for me to use a functional resume if most of my jobs have had the same duties?

I have been working as a payroll analyst for 8 years now (3 different companies); prior to that, I was an admin assistant. I have a payroll designation and have been studying for a HR designation as I wanted to change my career path into HR eventually. As you can imagine, the 3 positions of payroll analyst have similar responsibilities, but I managed to learn slight different things at each job. I work very closely with the HR department, particularly in the current position that I’ve held for 5years now. It is also the thing that inspired me to want to change career paths.

I would like to update my resume to target for HR related positions. Instead of listing each position and what I do at each job, is it common/ok if I list what I have done/learn, arranging them into categories such as “employee relations”, “benefits management,” “policy and procedure”… and then list all the previous employers and the period that I was with each of them after the skills section?

Nope, that’s a functional resume and employers hate them because they make it hard to understand your job history (what you did where and when) and because they’re generally used by people trying to hide an employment gap, job-hopping, or outdated skills. Use a chronological resume. It shouldn’t matter too much that your duties were the same at all three jobs, because you should be focusing more on accomplishments than duties anyway. Employers don’t want to know what your job description was; they want to know what you achieved.

3. Was this firing handled correctly?

My roommate works for the county in Maryland, and belongs to a union. She was recently fired for excessive tardiness. While this is a legit reason for her termination (she has missed a lot of days in the past, and often showed up late), she claims that she cannot be fired for excessive tardiness because the proper disciplinary procedures were not followed.

What she means by this is that due to her status as a county employee, she has certain rights, plus is protected by her union, and that her boss must first verbally counsel her (with the counsel being on record) for tardiness, then he must write her up for tardiness, and then finally he could terminate her for tardiness. Because this procedure was not followed, she complained to her union.

I didn’t want to turn this into a “is this legal or not?” because I know Maryland is an at-will employment state, meaning that the employer can basically fire a employee for any reason except retaliation, discrimination, etc., therefore the “termination procedures” are usually company policy and not law. However, because she’s a county employee (which I assume falls under the government/public sector), and because she’s part of a worker’s union, do they have to play by other rules when it comes to termination?

It totally depends on what her union contract says. It probably spells out rules for firing, and those are the ones they’d be required to follow (as with any contract).

4. Anonymous complaint form ended up not being anonymous

I work in a large college academic resource center. We have an anonymous noise complaint webform for students to report loud patrons; I used it to complain about some student workers who I do not supervise. The IT department tracked my complaint to my computer and I was pulled into a meeting with my supervisor about it.

What is there to be done about this invasion of privacy? I used an anonymous webform and was tracked! Should everyone know that this form isn’t really anonymous? Who, if anyone, do I talk to about this, and what the heck do I say?

I can’t tell whether you were pulled into that meeting to be chastised about complaining, or if they just wanted more information. If it was the first, that’s really ridiculous and you should approach everything regarding this employer with a high degree of caution from now on, because telling someone something is anonymous and then penalizing them for using it is obviously completed messed up behavior. But if they just pulled you in because they wanted more information or something else relatively innocuous — well, it’s still bad to say something will be anonymous and then not treat it that way, but it’s not as alarming.

In any case, you can certainly talk to your manager and express your concern that a form that claims to be anonymous in fact is not. You could also complain to IT. Whether you should do either of those really depends on your relationship with your manager.

5. Does it mean anything if the hiring manager connects with me on LinkedIn?

I had a second round of interviews for a manager position towards the end of April, and their timeline for getting back to applicants was two weeks. My first interview (after the initial phone interview) was with the regional manager who would be my direct boss and we had great chemistry; we came from the same professional beginnings and shared remarkably similar experiences. We discussed our shared passion for wellness initiatives and it felt more like a conversation than standard interview. The interview went so well that it went on past the expected time frame and I was pleased to get a second interview with a panel of three other individuals a few weeks later. The panel interviews were good, although I could not get an impression (good or bad) from one of the interviewers.

Since the second interview, two weeks have passed and I decided to reach out to the recruiter through email and politely ask if they are still looking at the same timeline for a hiring selection and if a decision has been made. I did not receive an email back from the recruiter, but later that same day the regional manager (the one I really got along with) asked to connect with me on LinkedIn. I do not want to read too much into this because she does have over 500 connections, so maybe she just likes having as many connections as possible. However, I think it would be weird to connect with a candidate if there is the potential that I’m not getting an offer. In any case, is this something you would do if you were set to offer a candidate a position, and on the flip side would you connect with a candidate who was a rejected for position? It also seems weird that the same time I follow up with the recruiter is when the regional manager asked to connect.

Don’t read anything into it. You had a rapport and you have similar backgrounds, so she’s connecting with you because she’d like you in her network. That’s the most you can read into it.

The timing may or may not be coincidental. For all we know, the recruiter reached out to her about getting an updated timeline, and it nudged her into remembering she’d meant to connect with you.

6. Linking recruiters to my LinkedIn profile

I get the feeling that many recruiters (external and internal) are not properly vetting me, i.e. not looking at my LinkedIn profile, blog, online portfolio, etc. I also get many requests for my resume, which is linked from my website. Would it be alright to add a more obvious link to my LinkedIn profile to say “here’s my most up-to-date resume, I don’t necessarily have access to my most up-to-date one on my current device”?

I don’t understand what the last part about not having access means, but if they’re not looking at your LinkedIn profile to begin with, adding a link to your resume there won’t matter. And recruiters should already have your resume, if you’ve applied with them. Your LinkedIn profile should of course be up-to-date, so looking at either your resume OR your profile should suffice — you shouldn’t be terribly worried if they’re only seeing one or another.

As for the requests for your resume from your website, sure, link to whatever you want there.

7. Applying for jobs without management experience

A lot of the jobs I am looking to apply for want a year or more of supervisory experience. In all cases, I want to apply because I fit most, if not all, of the other qualifications. (In other words, I don’t feel that I am aiming too high or skipping steps in my career path.) But when it comes to that experience, I just plain don’t have it. Is there a way to address this in a cover letter? Or am I most likely just going to be out of the running because of it? It just doesn’t seem like much of a transferable skill where I can sort of substitute with other experience, like the way I have used, for example, work with my roller derby league to help demonstrate my experiences in outreach and marketing.

I really don’t want to waste hiring managers’ (or my) time and give them one more resume to sift through. Help?

Some jobs absolutely won’t consider you if you don’t have the management experience, but others will — and since you can’t tell from the outside which are which, go ahead and apply. I don’t think you need to specifically call out the lack of experience in your cover letter though — they’re going to figure it out themselves, and unless you’re able to talk in your cover letter about other leadership experience you’ve had that might be transferable, there’s no point in highlighting the lack of it. Good luck.

It’s short answer Saturday — six short answers to six short questions. Here we go…

1. How long can a reference take?

I am supposed to start a new job on the 13th, but they are still waiting for a reference from my old employer. It has been a week so I can’t start my job yet. How long can an employer take?

An employer can take as long as they like to respond to a reference request; in fact, they’re not obligated to respond at all. But you can often push things along by calling them yourself, explaining that your job offer is on hold pending this reference, and ask them to respond ASAP.

(By the way, do you know that the reference will be a good one? Some employers just don’t respond rather than give a negative reference, if they didn’t think well of your work. But it’s also possible that it just fell through the cracks or is sitting on the desk of someone who’s out, or something like that. So call and find out.)

2. Company banned my husband and I from speaking at work

My husband and I work for the same company. He is a supervisor. I was hired in as an agent and was told the other day (almost a year later) that we can’t talk to each other when we are in the work area because it might be looked at as favoritism from other agents, even though he is not allowed to do anything for me. When I was hired, I was never told anything about this, and it’s not in the employee handbook. I was wondering if it’s legal? We work in different departments and I see other supervisors talking to friends.

Yes, it’s legal. If it didn’t come up for a year, though, then I’d look at whether something led to it recently — were you spending too much time talking to each other? Was there a complaint? In any case, many companies won’t hire employees’ spouses at all, which is probably a better solution than banning you from speaking to each other, but either way, it’s legal.

3. Approaching my boss about staying on after my apprenticeship ends

I have been on an apprenticeship for almost a year now and it’s coming to an end. How do I ask my boss if I still have a job, once the apprenticeship is finished?

“The end of my apprenticeship is coming up in June. I’d love to stay on once it’s over. Is that something that might be a possibility?”

4. Forgot to include my cover letter

I recently submitted an online application and forgot to attach my cover letter! It’s a position that I’m qualified for and quite interested in, and I’m kicking myself now. Will my resume suffice? Would it be overkill/annoying to resubmit WITH the cover letter? Or did I just kill my chances? This is one of those positions that does not provide an individual’s email address, so I’m not even sure how to follow up. Any advice?

Send the cover letter now, with a note explaining it didn’t attach the first time. Include your resume again too, so that they don’t have to hunt it down to connect them. Assuming you wrote a good cover letter that didn’t just summarize your resume, it’s a crucial part of your application that you don’t want to skip.

5. Manager won’t give me the same raise that others got

I am currently working for a large chain business, I was recently given more responsibilities at work such as closing the store. Coworkers who have also been given the same responsibilities have been given a raise in hourly wage. However, my manager refuses to give me a raise but still expects me to close and assume the same responsibilities. I feel as if I’m being discriminated against. What should I do?

Do you suspect your manager’s decision was based on your race, religion, sex, national origin, or other protected class? If not, then this isn’t discrimination in the legal sense. Simply being unfair or treating you differently than someone else isn’t on its own illegal.

However, you can certainly ask your manager why you’re not receiving the same pay as others who have the same responsibilities. (Note: Doing this in professional jobs isn’t appropriate; in that context, you’re expected to negotiate your salary without regard to what your coworkers make. But doing it in a retail store where pay tends to be handled differently is generally fine.)

6. Titles when you don’t know a person’s gender

In my current position, I have to write a number of formal letters and emails to staff members in diplomatic positions. My question is regarding correspondance to staff who are not the Ambassador or Consul General, but various other staff. Occasionally, I have to write someone where I am not certain what the gender is and Google isn’t providing a conclusive answer. How is it best to address a letter in this case? Or are there other ideas on how to try and determine someone’s gender when the obvious internet searches aren’t providing concrete results?

Since you’re writing to lower level staff where a formal title isn’t necessary, I’d go with the full name instead of a gender-based salutation, i.e., “Dear Jesse Pinkman.”

A reader writes:

I’ve read some of your posts about dress codes, but I have a slightly more complicated issue. I supervise student employees at a university (all female, in a closed department), and my boss is essentially asking me to hold certain students to a different dress code than others.

Yesterday an employee who would be considered curvy let me know that while I was out last week, my boss told her that she cannot wear leggings. However, we have one employee who is very thin. I’ve seen her wear leggings as pants before and my boss never said anything to her. How do I know? These two employees are friends outside of work, and they’ve been discussing other instances like this, which I’m just now hearing about.

I talked to my boss about it, and in her words, student employees with “more body” (her words, meaning more voluptuous/curvy, I guess) cannot wear form-fitting clothing, v-neck shirts, or skirts/shorts at all. Since our department is closed to the public, we don’t require that they wear business professional clothing, and our only real mention of dress code in the employee handbook mentions no clothing shorter than the knee and no clothing with wording on it.

I feel it’s wrong to try to differentiate what someone can wear based on what their body looks like while wearing it. I was taken aback by my boss’s response, so we came to no real resolution, and we’re supposed to meet next week to talk about it more. How should I approach this with my boss? I think her point of view on this could end up resulting in some sort of sexual harassment or discrimination claim.

Wow. Yeah, that is really wrong, in no small part because it indicates that your boss is assessing employees’ bodies in a way that isn’t appropriate for her to be doing and feels gross.

Your boss may not have thoroughly thought through what she’s suggesting, so point out to her that she’s essentially implementing an office policy that’s based on figure type. Also point out to her that it’s going to be very difficult to communicate this policy to employees without coming dangerously close to hostile-environment sexual harassment — since you’d essentially be critiquing people’s figures, particularly the sexualized portions of them, and indicating that some people’s figures appear more …. vulgar? sexualized? than others’.

And while there are no federal discrimination laws regarding body type, it’s very possible that they could kick in if this policy happened to impact some ethnic or racial groups more than others.

But even aside from all that, this is a terrible idea. Even if there were absolutely no legal risk to this policy, why on earth would your boss want to invite the obvious morale issues that are going to stem from telling some employees they can wear leggings, skirts, and v-necks and other employees that their bodies don’t allow it? There’s no way — no way — that doing that won’t seriously piss off plenty of employees and forever change their relationship with her and with your organization.

In fact, you might try suggesting to your boss that she imagine what this policy would look like in writing — that alone might be enough to illustrate for her how not okay this would be.

In any case, because you work in an organization large enough to have an HR department, your boss fortunately isn’t going to be the final word on this. I don’t recommend going to HR for much, but this is absolutely a case where they should be involved, so that they can immediately shut this nonsense down. An when you talk with your boss next week, you might just tell her that you’re so sure that HR won’t allow this that she should probably talk with them before spending even another minute on it.

A reader writes:

I am a manager of a team of employees and some contractors. My upper management has told all managers that every time an employee leaves early, comes in late, or takes time off, they have to tell us the reason. The company gives people 80 hours of paid time off and 40 hours of sick leave, but they still want to know the reason for taking the time off. We are supposed to let upper management know the reason, and they will keep a log of how often and WHY people take off.

I am not sure if asking employees those details (as long as they are using their time off hours) is lawful, and doesn’t it affect their privacy?

It’s perfectly legal to ask — and even to require an answer* — but it’s obnoxious and bad management.

If your company is offering paid time off, they shouldn’t attach strings to it saying that people need to divulge their reasons for using it. Or if they want to, they should make it very, very clear to prospective employees that their vacation and sick leave requires employees to supply a reason before it can be used … so that prospective employees are clear on what they’d be signing up for, and that your benefits package may not be what it seems.

And as for the tracking of how often and why people take time off? Your company is telling employees that while it might offer paid time off, it doesn’t really want to encourage anyone to use it (and the implication is certainly that people may be penalized for doing so). And it’s also signaling to its managers that it doesn’t trust them to use judgment and common sense in addressing any abuse of the leave policies.

If you have good standing in your company and are willing to spend some political capital, you should push back against this crap. If you’re not comfortable doing that, well, take this as some pretty revealing information about your company culture.

* There are some exceptions to the types of questions that can be asked if medical leave or disabilities are involved and the ADA or FMLA are being invoked.

It’s fast answer Friday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. I accepted an interview while I was asleep

I got a phone call for an interview from a company at 10 a.m. But I was still sleeping at the time, due to coming home at 4 a.m. the same day from the lab. I have a habit of saying yes and agreeing to everything when I am asleep, so I agreed to go on an interview with the company without remembering which company it was and its address, which I’m sure the person on the phone did give me. I want to call them back and ask for that information, but I don’t know how. What should I tell them so that they won’t be turned off in this situation?

First, Google the phone number. That might tell you what company it is. Or, try calling it after hours; you might get a voicemail with the company name in it. If neither of those work, call the number and explain that you want to confirm the address for your interview (no need to say you don’t recall it or the company). Once you have the address, Google that — you’ll probably find the company associated with it. Worst case scenario, have a friend call the number from a phone that isn’t yours and ask what company they’ve reached. And stop answering your phone when you’re asleep — if you say yes to everything when sleeping, it’s going to cause much bigger problems than this someday.

2. Should employee evaluations be written in the first person?

Is it better for employee reviews to be written in a first person or third person narrative? I personally thought first person would be better, as it would make achievements more personal and create a little more ownership for issues than hearing them as if they are spoken about a third party. All the research I did displayed both sides, stating why their way was the best. What do you prefer to use when performing employee reviews?

First person. You’re a real person writing about a real person; there’s no need for false formality. And really, an evaluation is the start of a conversation between a manager and employee. Write it that way.

3. Job offer isn’t clear about what hours I’d work

I have recieved a job offer. I will be going from a floor nurse to a lower management level-clinical coordinator. The hours on paper say 7 a.m. -3 p.m., but as mentioned in the original interview, those are the hours on paper but in management that can be different (longer). I have a child in day care who cannot be dropped off any earlier then 7:30/8 a.m. My husband is out of town a lot and therefore it’s my responsibility to drop her off 80% of the time. I did ask if it would be a issue if I needed to arrive later then 7 a.m., and was told that it would not be an issue but most clinical coordinators come it at about 7. So I didn’t really receive an answer but I didn’t really ask if it would be possible to change my hours. So now I am stuck. Do I take the offer in hopes that I will be able to change the hours or be up-front and ask right out? Would it be a problem to make my work hours 8 a.m. -4 p.m. due to child care? Is this appropriate or should I not take the position due to the hours mentioned in the initial interview?

You’re not stuck; you can go back and ask. You should absolutely not take a job offer without knowing if you’ll be able to work the hours you need to work, but you also don’t need to turn it down without being sure about that. Go back and say, “I’d love to accept the job, but I often need to arrive at X because I need to drop my child at daycare. Would it be possible to arrange for an 8-4 schedule?”

Stop speculating and find out for sure.

4. Firing an employee who threatened another

What is the correct process to fire an employee who threatens to harm another employee?

Explain that you don’t tolerate threats against other employees, and you’re therefore letting the person go, today. If you’re not completely sure that the threat was made, then investigate first.

5. Distributing coworkers’ personal mail

I work at a hotel, and the owners have told us that no personal mail is to be sent to the office. FedEx and UPS packages are fine, but not mail. However, every morning when I go in, there is a stack of personal mail that employees have had sent there. Is it legal for me to deliver this mail, as I am just a worker here? I do not want to be in control of anyone else’s mail, nor do I want to be responsible for it, as I have to walk across a large parking lot and through some neighborhood to get to the other building where it sometimes needs to go. I do not want to be held responsible for any lost or damaged mail! Sometimes it is medications, and I do not want to be responsible for anyone’s medications! As I am not a postal worker, I feel I should not have to deliver mail, and the owners do not want it coming here anyway.

Yes, it’s legal for you to distribute personal mail to employees who have it sent to your office. The bigger question is whether you should, since the owners have clearly said that they don’t want personal mail coming there. I’d talk to them and say, “Hey, I know you’ve said you don’t want personal mail coming to the office, but it does still happen. How would you like me to handle it when it does?” Then do what they tell you to do — including distributing it if that’s what they want. (And if they tell you to just throw it out, it would be a kindness to let the person with the medications know about that in advance.)

6. My company is hyping themselves all over my LinkedIn page

A LinkedIn representative gave a presentation today to the staff of the nonprofit where I work. It turns out that HR wants us to use our LinkedIn accounts to boost the organization and to push along information about available jobs, company-related articles, etc. When I opened my LinkedIn account afterwards, I saw that, indeed, ads for and links to my employer are now on my page.

I feel that my LinkedIn presence should be about me, not my employer. I was already thinking seriously about moving on, but this makes me want to leave faster. Am I being too sensitive or is this kind of employer intrusion common now? Should I remove the name of my employer from my self-description in order to lose the links? If I leave it alone, will the presence of a lot of hype for my current organization deter others from taking me seriously as a possible job candidate?

It’s not uncommon, and it’s not going to deter others from taking you seriously as a job candidate. You’re entitled to find it obnoxious, however, and to relay that feeling to whoever decided to launch this initiative.

7. Former employer refuses to confirm my employment for an unrelated lawsuit

I was in a car accident several years ago and the lawsuit for damages is ongoing. As part of the discovery, the opposing council has contacted ex-employers for a work history. I signed the releases for this, and assumed all would be fine.

After a year, through my legal council, I got a letter from the opposing council asking for our help in retrieving the work history from one of my previous employers. So I contacted the previous employer myself to expedite the situation and help if needed. I assumed the request was put on the back burner or something, but it turns out that the ex-employer is refusing. The president of the company accused me in a text message of tricking him into committing perjury.

What do you think is going on here? I have W2′s for the work I did. It’s not like they paid me under the table. In addition, one of the massage therapists I saw after the accident is refusing as well. This woman owns her own business and is refusing to send the medical records and billing invoice. Is there a connection between these two? Why would either of these businesses do this?

I have no idea, but I’m throwing it out there for anyone who does know.

A reader writes:

I have an employee who is extremely detailed in every way. This can be great in some cases, but whenever she speaks (in a meeting or just one-on-one) she is extremely long-winded. She will generally say the same thing in three different ways, and then summarize again. Her emails and written projects are novels. Texts come in 3 or 4 parts as they are so long.

I have given her feedback on being brief, told her to use bullet points, shorten her written work, given her timelines (i.e. “you have 5 minutes to explain,” etc.) but to no avail. After this feedback, she has made very minor attempts to be brief. For instance, she will sometimes ask me to review an email before she sends it, but is pretty adamant about keeping a lot of information in. I find that she is completely unaware of the issue; often before a meeting when we all agree to be brief, I will do my part (hoping to be an example) but she doesn’t pick up on it.

My main concern is that people really tune her out as she continues to speak. It really does not go well on conference calls (when it’s hard to pay attention anyway). She is starting to present to leadership, and in our company it’s all about “Be Brief, Be Bright, Be Gone.” I want her to succeed and so I really want to give her the feedback/tools she needs.

I realize this is the way she is, and I’m not sure it can be changed. Do you have any advice on these sorts of issues?

You’re absolutely right that this habit will hold her back professionally; the higher up the ladder she goes and the more she’s in front of higher-level managers, the more important it will become for her to be able to distill a message down its essentials and convey them quickly and concisely. So it’s great that you want to help her with this, because it’s going to impact her career and reputation otherwise.

It’s going to take some coaching though; it’s not going to be one or two quick conversations, because this type of thing is usually a pretty deeply ingrained habit. Assuming the rest of her work is good — and thus it’s worth a short-term investment of your time to help her improve in this area — here’s what I would do:

1. Sit down with her and say that you want to have a serious conversation with her about a work habit. I know you’ve talked with her about this before, but because it didn’t have a lasting impact, it’s time for another conversation, and this one has to feel more serious, so that it’s clear to her that you’re not just making suggestions or giving offhand advice.

Explain to her that conveying information more concisely isn’t just a style preference; it’s a business necessity in most workplaces, and it’s something that you need her to actively work on. Tell her that you’re worried that it’s impacting her professionally and will continue to do so, and that her work is good and deserves to have people pay attention to it, but they won’t if she doesn’t find a way to communicate more concisely. Tell her that you want to see her succeed, and that you want to work with her on this habit so that it doesn’t hold her back.

2. Give her specific guidelines. It’s not enough just to say “keep things shorter,” because her calibration meter in this regard is off. She can’t tell when something is too long. So you need to spell it out much more specifically. For example, you might tell her that no memo should be longer than one page and that they should be primarily written in bullet points, no email should be more than three short paragraphs, presentations should be no longer than X minutes, and she should observe how long others speak at meetings and speak no longer than that herself.

These are obviously rigid guidelines, so acknowledge that and explain that you want her to use them for now, while she adjusts to a new way of conveying information, but that she won’t need to stick to them so rigidly once conciseness has started to be more of a habit. You’re just asking her to use them for now while the two of you are working on this, not forever.

3. Coach her actively on this going forward. For instance, when you assign her a written project, give her a maximum page count at the outset. If she’s concerned that she won’t be able to include all the information she thinks should be included, talk through her thought process. As you hear what she’s worried won’t fit in, explain to her why X is important to include but Y isn’t.

And explain to her — explicitly — that higher level decision makers (and others; modify depending on the audience/context) specifically don’t want all the information. They want high-level conclusions and takeaways, and to be able to trust that that’s been backed up by thought and research before it came to them so that they don’t have to spend their time on that part. Some people genuinely don’t realize this, and they feel that their work won’t be credible or will seem incomplete if they don’t include all relevant details on the topic. Spell out for her that her audience actively doesn’t want this. To some people, this is completely counterintuitive, so you may need to remind her of it more than once.

4. Don’t rely on her picking up on hints, like you asking at the start of the meeting that everyone be brief or being brief yourself as an example. That’s not working, so you’re going to need to be more explicit. For instance, you might say in a meeting, “Jane, could you give us a quick one-minute overview of X?”  Or when it’s just the two of you, “This is a bit more than I need; I trust you to have the details covered without me needing to be in the loop. What are the parts that you need my input on?” (Or “Tell me just what you think is most important.”)  You can also give her time cues at the start of conversations: “We only have 20 minutes and I’m hoping we can cover X, Y, and Z in that time.”

5. And last, make sure to give her feedback along the way, whether it’s “The start to your presentation on the call was great, but I think you started losing people when you started talking about the details of how the new software will work” or ”This memo is a great example of you putting into practice what we talked about, and I love how you conveyed all the high-level information in an easy-to-skim way.”

If you’re willing to invest some time to do all the the above, you should either see a real change in the next few months, or not. If you don’t, then you’ll need to decide how much of an issue this is for her performance. Lack of improvement might mean that she gets fewer/no opportunities to present before senior management, or that she’ll never be your first choice for higher-profile projects, or that it impacts her ability to progress in the organization. Or it might just mean that you’ll have to continue sending projects back to her with instructions to shorten them. Whatever the likely consequences, talk to her about them explicitly so that she’s clear on what the trade-off is that she’s making.

But with a couple months of focused coaching on this, I think you have a good chance of helping her overcome the habit pretty significantly. Good luck!

A reader writes:

I work for a large company with an office out in the suburbs, and I live in the city without a car. So most days I carpool with one of the project managers who lives near me. He’s a nice guy, generally a safe driver, etc., but there are two problems: he often picks me up late or forces me to wait around for him at the end of the day, and he uses his cell phone while driving.

He sets a time for us to meet and then shows up late — sometimes just a few minutes, but this morning I was at our meeting spot at 7:50, as planned, so he could be on time for his weekly managers meeting. And he showed up at 8:05. He didn’t apologize at all. And then, because we were running late, he called in to his meeting during the last few minutes of the drive.

The phone use is actually a bigger problem: a few years ago, a friend of mine came very close to dying and lost both her parents in a car accident on college graduation day, because a kid was driving and talking on his cell phone. She now tours the country telling her story and urging kids not to use their phones for calls (or texts, for crying out loud) while driving.

I’ve told this story to this coworker, but it makes no difference. His teenage daughter will call him just to ask what’s for dinner and when he’ll be home, and instead of waiting 5 minutes until he IS home, he picks up. He’ll read texts while on the highway. It’s incredibly unsafe and given that he knows my friend’s history, it feels like a slap in the face.

Overall, between not having control over when I come and go from work, and not having control over his cell phone use, I feel helpless. A, he’s a nice guy, B, he’s sometimes my project manager, C, he’s doing me a favor by giving me rides for free. But it makes me consider going back to the 1.5 hour public transit commute to avoid the downsides of my carpool buddy. How can I gracefully get him to change his behavior? I don’t want to be rude or cause awkwardness.

I don’t think you can, unfortunately. He’s doing you a favor, and the favor is all one-way; it’s not a shared carpool where you’re doing some of the driving sometimes too. So he retains the right to be a little late and to maintain whatever habits he likes to maintain. You retain the right to decide that it’s not working for you and to bow out of the arrangement, but ultimately his behavior is up to him.

In other words, you can’t really tell him, “I need you to be on time when you pick me up,” because when you’re accepting a favor, you can only really take what’s on offer — and in this case, what’s on offer is a ride with unreliable pick-up times.

The cell phone issue is a bit different, because it’s a safety issue … but you’ve already told your friend’s story to no avail, so I’m not especially hopeful that anything else appropriate for you to say will get through. That said, it’s reasonable to try once more, as long as you tread lightly in recognition of, again, the fact that this is a favor. For instance, you could say, “I know we think differently on this, but is there any way I can convince you not to use your phone while you’re driving? Not just with me, but always? The thought of what could happen worries me so much.”

But that’s about all you can try. It’s not your place to push beyond that; it’s really up to him from there.

Ultimately, you probably need to accept that this is the price of getting rides with him and decide whether it’s a price you want to pay or not.

It’s terse answer Thursday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Accepting a job at a lower salary with the promise of a raise later

A networking contact recently put me in touch with a past coworker of his who is starting up his own firm. I met with the owner recently and, to my surprise, he asked me to join him as his first employee. He was trying to do everything himself and was quickly finding that he was overwhelmed. The position would be instrumental in the successful initial growth of the firm and could easily progress to a senior level position as the firm grows.

During our initial meeting, however, the owner advised that he knows he cannot pay me what I’m worth. I took that as a compliment! He asked if I was willing to take a chance with his company with a smaller initial salary in exchange for increased compensation down the road. I replied that I thought that was reasonable, so as long as we could revisit my salary as the organization and my level of responsibility increased.

I know your normal advice is to wait at least 1 year after starting a new job to ask for a raise, with which I agree. In a case like this, however, what is the best way to approach him in 3, 6, 9, or 12 months about a salary increase? If all goes as planned, the company’s revenue (read: his ability to afford what I’m worth) and my responsibilities will have greatly increased over this time.

Actually, agree on it with him now and you won’t need to worry about when to approach him down the road. Too many people make informal agreements like this that they fully flesh out and make formal, and then are taken aback when the raise doesn’t materialize when they ask for it later. If this guy truly means that he’ll increase your salary once conditions X, Y, and Z are met, then he should be willing to put it writing (whether those factors are a certain number of months passing, your successfully achieving specific goals or milestones, the company reaching a certain revenue point, or something else). If he won’t put this in writing, then only take the job if you’re willing to have the future increase be a “maybe,” not a definite.

2. My boss emailed everyone the reason for my time off

I requested vacation time off from the company I work for. I am doing a internship for school because I will be graduating with my associates in Health Information Technology and it is required that I do a short internship before I can graduate. The thing is, no one at my current job knows I am in school; I haven’t told anyone.

I spoke with my boss about the days I needed off and just told her I am taking family vacation time. She said okay and that she would approve my time. A couple of hours later, I saw a email pop up that was emailed to the entire office — all my coworkers and other managers — with the dates I was going to be gone on vacation and why. My name and vacation days was in bold print on the subject line. I was furious. All of my coworkers take vacation time, I in the two years I have been working with this company, I have never seen a mass email go out about their personal time they are taking off. I feel like my privacy was stripped away and don’t understand why this was done. I feel my boss could have just told the employees in person who needed to know of my absence. I also feel like this gives my coworkers a invitation to ask me about my personal time. Is there anything I could do about this situation?

I have no idea why your boss sent this email out when she doesn’t for other people’s time off, but if you’re in a role where people need to know when you’ll be out, that’s the obvious explanation. I’m sure she didn’t think she was violating your privacy by noting it was a “family vacation”; it’s not like she wrote it was for gynecological surgery or a custody hearing. I would let this go.

3. Can I use my blog to fill a gap on my resume?

I’ve recently been looking for an entry-level career in the not-for-profit sector in communications and marketing. All my experience in this area is through various internships with some fairly well-known international NGOs. My last internship ended in December, and since then I have been unable to find any work.

To fill my time, I’ve created a website and blog where I discuss development issues and topics related to the sector I want to work in. I write a post a week and with researching, writing, posting, etc., it requires about the same time as a part-time job. My question is, can I put this on my resume since it’s not an “official” role? Or if it’s relevant to the jobs I apply for, should I just mention it in passing in my cover letter? Right now, I’m worried about the 5-month gap on my resume and don’t want potential employers to think I have been unproductive in that time.

You can definitely put it on your resume. What I’m torn on, though, is where it should go. Normally you’d put it under an “additional activities” or “community involvement” section or something like that. But of course, that’s not really what you want — you want it to put it at the top of your job history to fill the 5-month gap since your last job. It’s a bit of a stretch (one post a week doesn’t really make it substantial enough to really qualify), but no one is going to have you arrested for putting it there.

4. Interviewing when the company name hasn’t been revealed

I have an interview set up at a recruitment agency next week. The job posting did not specify the exact company I would be working for (just stated, “a successful chocolate teapot manufacturer in ____town”). I’m pretty confident that I know which company is meant, as it is quite obvious if you are active in the field. How would you handle this at the interview? Is it ok to ask which company they are representing? Would you offer up your guess? Do they expect you to just “know”? Or will they only relay this information to finalists?

Also, for future reference: Would you ever include references to an unnamed company in the cover letter? (In case you are certain you identified them and it was relevant to your application, e.g. because you worked with them before.)

It’s fine to ask at the interview. If they say they’re not able to reveal the company at this stage, don’t start offering up guesses; they’ve just said they’re not going to tell you. You are not typically expected to just “know,” however. If not knowing is an issue for you (if, for instance, you know you wouldn’t work at Company X and it sounds like this might be Company X), it’s fine to decline to move forward after a certain point unless they tell you the company.

As for including references to an unnamed company in your cover letter, I’d only do it if you were 110% sure you were right; otherwise, you could harm your candidacy by appearing certain about something that was in fact a mistake.

5. Should I update my resume when applying for an internal position?

My boss is leaving a smallish (20-30 people) organization. I plan on applying for her position, which isn’t a secret. The person doing the hiring is familiar with me and my work, but doesn’t know all that I have accomplished since I have joined the organization (about a year ago).

So when I apply internally, do I update my resume to show the year I have worked for my current company? Or do I just show everywhere else I have worked previously?

Yes, update your resume. Treat it just like you’d treat applying for an external position, just less formal.

6. Why wasn’t I notified about this opening when I was on leave?

I have been off of work for a maternity leave, followed up by a medical leave, but I will be returning in the next week. I am feeling burned by my team, coworkers at the office (aka friends), and management that I was not notified of a posting for a position that I was doing before but without the formal title. I am feeling a lot of resentment about this and do not want to be feeling this anger when I return to my workplace. My manager, who is currently on a medical leave, also shared with me that it took 2-3 workers to manage my caseload when I left. She acknowledged my level of experience as being the contributing factor for why I was able to manage the workload at the time. Why was I not notified about this posting then?

Maybe because you were on leave and people are often told not to contact anyone who’s out on medical leave for anything. Or maybe because your manager is the logical person to have alerted you to the opening but she’s out on leave herself. Or who knows — it could be anything. But getting angry about it isn’t going to be particularly productive. For all you know, they’re hoping you’ll apply when you come back. Or maybe not — but regardless, express your interest in the position and ask what you’d need to do to be considered.

7. Does this mean I got the job?

I interviewed with someone for a position at a clothing retail store. The interview went really well. I was then emailed back for another interview. I attended the interview. 5 days later, the manager who interviewed me the second time sent me an email regarding what my availability is and if I was looking for part-time or full-time. Do you think that means I got the job?

The only thing that means that you got the job is a formal job offer, so no. What this means is that — at least at the time that she sent you the email — she was still considering you as a candidate.

A reader writes:

I work at a mid-sized private university. I can’t begin to describe the number of odd characters we have working here, myself probably included in that. The department I work for at the moment is far from professional, unfortunately, but so far I have been able to deal with most of the quirks. However, it’s been brought to my attention that our assistant director sits in meetings and takes pictures of the attendees with his phone. For many reasons, I do not think this is just to document who was there. I also know that he keeps these photos. How I know this is a long story, so let’s just go with the fact that I know.

I am really creeped out by this. Okay, full disclosure, I don’t like having my picture taken, so maybe it’s me and it’s not such a big deal. And I know that it’s legal and all that to take pictures of people who are out in public without their permission. But this just feels wrong to me. I don’t even know what I can do about it, but is it worth bringing up to my director or to HR? Or should I just start bringing a huge notebook and hiding behind that when I have to be in meetings with this guy?

What the hell?!

I wrote back to this reader and asked for the additional context she had alluded to. Her response:

Well, as far as the department being generally unprofessional, I could write a book, but mostly it’s the constant sexual innuendo that goes on among a certain group of about five people, the “photographer” included. I am no prude, but we are at work and there are student workers around a lot of the time. So, that sort of sets the tone towards “pervy.”

A coworker has a crush on this guy and she flirts like crazy with him, so he lets his guard down around her and she told me that she actually saw some of the “candid” pictures on his computer, and there were LOTS of folders that she assumed also contained pictures. There have also been two women who have told me that he was Facebook stalking them, although they were both able to get him to back off by just ignoring him. He also isn’t particularly stealthy about taking pictures, so it’s sort of obvious what he’s doing once you’ve been clued in.

I repeat: What the hell?!

You need to tell him to stop, immediately. At the next meeting where you see this, say, “Jim, please stop talking photos of me and others during this meeting. It’s inappropriate.” Say this loudly enough for others at the meeting to hear, because ideally you want group pressure to make him stop doing this.

If it continues after that, address it again: “Jim, I already told you I don’t want you taking my picture. Why are you continuing to take photos without people’s permission?”

And at that point, go talk to your and/or his manager as well: “Jim has been regularly taking photos on his phone of people at meetings without their permission. This makes me uncomfortable, and I’ve asked him to stop. It has not stopped, however, so now I’m asking you to tell him to stop.”

And frankly, while I’m a big fan of addressing things directly with the person causing the problem to start with, you could also talk to HR if you see this as part of a generally sexualized atmosphere that’s making you uncomfortable. I’m actually not sure if that’s the case or not from your letter — but if it’s bothering you in that context, that’s what sexual harassment policies are there for. And your university almost certainly has a sexual harassment policy, so you could take a look at that and see if it’s being violated. (It probably is — most include language prohibiting “unwelcome  verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature” that “interferes with a person’s work performance or creates an intimidating, hostile, or abusive work environment” or something to that effect.) That policy should also lay out a procedure for reporting this type of conduct, and that would tell you precisely the steps to follow if you feel uncomfortable with the sexualized culture overall and want to go that route.

But if it’s really just the photo-taking rather than the broader atmosphere, then it’s less an HR thing and more something for your manager and his manager to deal with.

Ick.

A reader writes:

My group director recently emailed the whole department (the department has several groups, and within each group, several teams; I am not this person’s direct report) announcing that another group director was expecting a baby with his partner (who is not an employee of our company). The email proposed a baby shower at work (and was followed up by a meeting request for a two hour block of time for said shower) and mentioned that we should stop by the sender’s office if we’d like to contribute money towards a shower gift. Rather than passing an envelope to take up a collection, the custom here tends to be that one person holds a card for people to come sign and keeps a list of who contributes money, so that the recipient can thank people individually.

I know the father-to-be by sight but do not work for him either directly or indirectly, and have never spoken with him. So my questions are: 1) Is it common to have baby showers at work? Especially when only one of the parents-to-be is an employee? and 2) Do I need to contribute towards a gift? I do not know this person well enough to feel that I should, but it makes me uncomfortable that my group director will know that I did not contribute. I don’t want to be seen as stingy or not a team player, but on the other hand, it’s my money, and there are things I’d rather do with it than buy gear for a stranger’s future kid.

Baby showers aren’t uncommon at work; some offices do them, and some don’t, but it’s not unusual to see them.

However, if you’re not interested in participating, it’s fine not to. If you knew and liked the father-to-be — or simply worked closely with him — there would be an argument for chipping in if you could afford to simply because it’s a warm gesture, but even then you wouldn’t have an obligation to. And in this case, you’ve never even spoken with the guy. So you really have no obligation to participate if you don’t want to.

If your group director is at all reasonable, she won’t hold your lack of participation against you. Some managers are unreasonable, of course, and do inappropriately pressure people to contribute to things like this or will silently consider people “not team players” if they don’t participate — but plenty more are perfectly reasonable. The latter group might offer you the chance to participate but not care one way or the other whether you do. In general, assume you’re dealing with someone reasonable unless you have reason to believe you’re not.

And in this case, it’s not even your manager who’s organizing this, so I wouldn’t give it further thought.

You’ve researched the going rate for your work, documented your accomplishments from the last year, and put together a case for a salary increase, and now you’re sitting across from your boss, having just uttered the words, “I’d like a raise.” And you might be getting a little panicky as you wonder what your boss is thinking.

Despite what you might fear, it’s probably not, “The nerve of this guy!” Most commonly, when you ask a manager for a raise, your manager is thinking about the following questions:

• Am I worried about losing this person?
• Does this person deserve the salary she’s asking for?
• Do I have the money to say yes to this request?
• What would this mean for other people’s salaries?
• What’s likely to happen if I say no?

Over at U.S. News & World Report today, I talk about each of these questions and explain what’s probably running through your manager’s head as you wait for her to respond. You can read it here.

It’s wee answer Wednesday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Company gave new employees invasive “personality test”

Recently we hired some new employees at my office. Some of these employees were placed under my supervision, and while I was talking to them, they told me that our HR manager had them take a personality test. I do work with a lot of psychiatrists and psychologists, so we all like to observe people, but I do not feel this personality quiz was okay. None of the questions that were asked pertained to our jobs. For example, “do you prefer sex with a man or a woman?” “Do you support same sex marriage?” “Are you sexually active?” “Do you support abortion?” And many, many more.

I am currently studying law, and from my understanding, these questions are not allowed in the workplace. Are these allowed? The way I see it is, if someone gets fired after this, then they can claim that based on those questions, we discriminated and therefore, that person was let go. But, again, I think a little differently then the rest.

It’s not illegal to ask questions like that in the workplace, although it would be illegal to discriminate based on any answers that related to people’s race, religion, sex, national origin, or other protected class. However, despite being legal, it’s incredibly stupid and irrelevant to the work, and I can’t imagine why your workplace — and HR, no less — thinks it was in any way appropriate. Why don’t you go talk to HR, express your strong opposition to employees being asked such invasive and irrelevant questions, and find out why the hell they’re doing it?

2. Do I have to tell my upcoming new job that my old job just laid me off?

I just accepted a new job. Before I could give my notice to my old job, I got restructured along with half of my department. So not only do I get severance, but I get a vacation before I start my new job.

Do you think I should tell my new employer? I’m looking forward to a couple of weeks off to relax before I start, so I don’t really want to move my start date up and I don’t want them to misread the layoff and use it as an excuse to back out of my hire. Is it okay to just not mention it?

Sure, it’s fine not to mention it. You were employed when you interviewed and didn’t know you were going to be laid off, so you didn’t misrepresent anything, and it’s not especially relevant to them now. Congratulations on the good timing!

3. Can I decline to serve as a reference for my coworker?

I’ve held my current job for 12 years. An acquaintance is applying to a position at my workplace and has asked if he can use me as an employee referral.

The first issue is that I have no way of knowing whether he’s in any way qualified or experienced in the position for which he’s applying, but I realize that that’s our hiring manager’s problem. The second issue is that he has a very offputting mannerism. Specifically, he holds a very intense eye contact with whoever he’s speaking to, whether he’s speaking or listening to the other person speak. It’s well beyond the social norms of ordinary conversational eye-contact timing.

Based on almost 20 years of acquaintance with him, I know it’s not a cultural difference and I’m pretty sure it’s not indicative of any kind of vision problem. And he’s not noticeably socially inept or inappropriate in any other way. He’s a little formal and reserved, but certainly completely functional in social and professional situations. However, this one mannerism has caused many people of our mutual acquaintance to visibly and obviously avoid him. The job for which he’s applying is as a college admissions recruiter, in which his primary role would be to meet with potential students and their parents and attract them to our college.

Given that I have no way to comment on his qualification for the job on a professional basis, and that the only personal recommendation I could give him could not be given in good faith if I didn’t mention this problem, am I justified in telling him politely that I’m not able to serve as an employee referral? I genuinely think he’d be disastrous in this job.

Sure. You can always decline to serve as a reference for anyone if you don’t think you can recommend them in good faith, and it’s kinder to tell them so that they can find someone else, rather than to let them offer your name and them doom them with a lukewarm or worse reference. In this case, you have an easy out — you can tell him that you don’t feel you know his work well enough to provide a useful reference.

But it would be a huge service to him if someone would give him some feedback about the eye contact thing. Maybe you could use this as impetus to speak to his manager and suggest she coach him on it if you don’t feel it’s your place to do it (which sounds likely)?

4. Sleeveless tops in the workplace

I work in a fairly casual office. I recently bought a slew of cap-sleeve and sleeveless dresses for the summer, but realized I might not be able to wear them to my office. My colleagues who are my peers (early 20-ish women) occasionally wear sleeveless tops with dress pants to the office. What are the rules for sleeveless tops and dresses for women in the workforce? I’m not asking about tank tops, but arms showing. Any tips?

It varies by office, of course, but generally speaking, avoid visible armpits in the office — which means no sleeveless tops without something over them. Some cap sleeves are fine, but I’d still invoke the no visible armpit rule — so check what happens when you raise your arms over your head while wearing those shirts; if your armpit stays covered, you’re probably fine. If it doesn’t, you are In Violation and must wear something on top of it.

5. Should my company send my sick coworker home?

If my coworker comes in sick and is contagious with what she claims is strep throat, does the HR department have an obligation to the rest of the employees to send her home until she has a doctor’s note to return? My coworker is coughing and wheezing and clearing her throat and blowing her nose and sneezing all over the place. She then tells the story of how she got sick from her niece who went to the emergency room with strep throat the day before. She has told the story more than once in the last two days and goes on to tell everyone that she just can’t miss work.

I asked my HR manager, and he said there is nothing he can do to make her go home. I was under the impression that if a person is contagious, they most certainly can be asked to go home until they are cleared by a doctor. They did that to me when they thought my cough sounded like whooping cough 2 years ago. If he can’t force her to get a doctor’s clearance, what are my rights because they did force me to stay out 3 days waiting for lab work and there was absolutely nothing wrong with me except a severe cold. I lost 3 days pay.

Your company doesn’t have a legal obligation to send contagious workers home, but smart companies will — because it’s not fair or good business to have other people infected. Still, though, most companies leave it to employees’ discretion whether they come in or not, which it sounds like yours is doing. Why not ask her yourself not to come in when she’s likely contagious? Social pressure can sometimes do a lot in these situations.

As for why they treated you differently when you had suspected whooping cough two years ago, I have no idea. Maybe it was a different HR person, maybe there was a different manager involved, or maybe you seemed significantly sicker than she did. You’re not going to get anywhere by arguing about that though; you’re better off approaching it from a standpoint of being concerned for people’s health now.

6. Asking to interview by phone for a job overseas

I recently applied for my dream job. They are getting back to us in a day or two about who will be selected for interviews, and the interview dates will be scheduled for a week from today. The problem is that the job is in the UK, and a plane ticket this close to the interview date is close to $2200. I can’t afford this right now. Do I have any options? Can I ask for a phone interview? I don’t want to let this job go.

If you’re asked to interview, you can certainly explain the situation and ask if they’d consider a phone or Skype interview for this stage, but be aware that a lot of companies choose not to deal with non-local applicants (let alone foreign applicants) in part because they don’t want to deal with this type of inconvenience. So while it’s entirely reasonable to ask, be prepared for them not to offer you many options — or to talk with you by phone now but require you to fly out if you advance further in their process.

7. Are meal breaks included in my total time worked?

I am a salaried exempt employee in New York state. I am required to work 45 hours a week. Can my employer subtract the time I take for a meal period from my total, or since I am salaried, is the meal period time included in the total? So for example, I work a 9-hour day with a half hour lunch. Is this considered a nine-hour day or an eight and a half hour day?

It’s up to your employer how they want to calculate that. As an exempt employee, you’re not required to be paid overtime, and so how your company handles your hours is based solely on their internal policies, not any law. (Caveat: I’m answering generally for most states; I haven’t looked into whether New York has some unusual law on this.)

In the last year, there’s been a marked increase in the number of letters I receive from women in their 20s — generally recent grads — who just got their first post-college job and refer to it in their letter as a “big girl job.”

You must stop this!

You are not a child. You are not a “big girl.” You are an adult.

And whether you intend it or not, you are undermining yourself and your peers by using this type of language. You’re saying, “I’m still a kid.” But since you’re not a kid, and the rest of us know that even if you haven’t come to terms with it yourself yet, you’re hurting your own credibility and basically saying, “Take me less seriously.” Moreover, you’re saying, “I’m okay with other people taking me less seriously” — and that’s not a message you want to be sending.

I know this is semantics for some people, but there’s a very real switch in mindset that comes with thinking of yourself as a woman, rather than a girl. (Or as a man rather than a boy — but I can’t say I’ve seen very many men referring to themselves in a similar way.)

If you want to be taken seriously in the workforce, you’ve got to think of yourself as an adult — because you are. I know it’s weird to get used to the switch in language — it was for me too when I was in my early 20s. But believe me, prospective employers and your future coworkers are thinking of you as an adult, and that means “woman,” not “girl.”

A reader writes:

My question relates to being a 1099 contractor for a consulting firm. I was under the impression that I would be working with the rights and privileges of an independent contractor. I was hired to be a software instructor however the organization is not yet ready to train our clients, therefore I will be working in software development/testing (not disclosed to me at time of interview, and something totally new to me.)

When working as an instructor I would work typical classroom hours, which I agreed to. Since I am not yet working in the classroom and am in the office doing development type work, I have been placed under a new supervisor and been told my hours will be longer than expected, possibly include Saturdays, and starting soon will be shifted to a very early or late schedule (7-3:30 or 3:30-midnight — without preference). The work is tedious and I am staring at a screen for hours on end — much different than being an instructor!

As an independent contractor, can they require this of me? If I have to do this development and testing, can I request to work from home? I am perturbed that my Saturdays could be gone in addition to my daily routine! In looking at the IRS website, I was under the impression if they control when/where/how I work, I am no longer a contractor but an employee.

First, some background: As you clearly know, the IRS lays out rules for when someone can be paid as a 1099 contractor and when they must be paid as an employee (which would mean the employer withholds income taxes, withholds and pays Social Security and Medicare taxes, and pays unemployment taxes).What’s tricky, though, is that it’s not a precise formula. The IRS looks at three factors:
1. Behavioral facts — Does the employer control where and how the worker does her job?
2. Financial facts — Are the business aspects of the worker’s job (such as how the worker is paid, whether expenses are reimbursed, who provides tools/supplies, etc.) controlled by the employer?
3. Type of relationship — Are there written contracts or employee-type benefits?

While this might seem reasonably straightforward, it’s important to note that the IRS says, “Businesses must weigh all these factors when determining whether a worker is an employee or independent contractor. Some factors may indicate that the worker is an employee, while other factors indicate that the worker is an independent contractor. There is no ‘magic’ or set number of factors that’“makes’ the worker an employee or an independent contractor, and no one factor stands alone in making this determination. Also, factors which are relevant in one situation may not be relevant in another. The keys are to look at the entire relationship, consider the degree or extent of the right to direct and control, and finally, to document each of the factors used in coming up with the determination.”

In other words, it’s not 100% clear-cut. That said — and with the caveat that I’m not a lawyer — what you’ve described certainly sounds like an employee relationship, not a contractor relationship, particularly in regard to the company controlling the hours and location where you work.

So, if that’s the case, what can you do? I’d start by talking to them. You don’t want to come at this in an aggressive “you’re breaking the law” way right out of the gate — because although it’s certainly your prerogative to do that if you want, it’s unlikely to get you a great outcome. People rarely respond well to that type of thing, and you presumably want to handle this in a way that preserves the relationship.

I’d say something like this: “I want to make sure we’re complying with the federal regulations on independent contractors. I think the current set-up is going to be problematic in that regard, especially with having me work set hours from your office, which is a key part of the test the IRS uses. One solution could be for me to work from home.”

If their answer makes it clear that they have no clue what the law on this is, then follow up with, “I want to be as helpful as I can, but I don’t want us to get into legal trouble by misclassifying the position. The IRS says that 1099 contractors are subject to certain rules, such as the company not controlling where the worker does the work. Otherwise, the company could end up with financial penalties.”

From there, a couple of things could happen:

1. They could take a look at the law and adjust how they’re handling this. This could result in you being able to work from home, etc., but it could also result in you not having any work until the classroom part of your job begins (if they’re not comfortable with the work being done from home, for instance). So make sure that you’re prepared for that possibility.

2. They could indicate that they don’t care about what the law says and change nothing. If that happens, you’ll have to decide whether you want to continue to pursue the issue or not. If you do, you could file a claim with the IRS or with your state labor agency … although be aware, of course, that if you do that, the relationship with the company isn’t likely to stay a particularly good one. It’s illegal for them to retaliate against you for filing such a claim, but the reality is that it’s generally very difficult to stay on good terms with a company after filing a legal claim against them, and retaliation can be subtle and hard to prove (and expensive to prove, as well). You might end up deciding that the benefits you’d get from filing a claim are outweighed by other factors. I’m not pre-judging that for you — just telling you to look at all this stuff before deciding how to proceed.

But start with the assumption that they just don’t realize there’s a problem (which is incredibly common), and see if a non-adversarial conversation can clear it up.

I recently asked readers to share the worst career advice they ever received. I shared my 10 favorite “worsts” over at the Fast Track blog by Intuit QuickBase today — including “major in anything and figure it out later,” “say whatever it takes to close the sale and reset expectations later,” “write your resume in crayon,” and more. You can read it here.

It’s tiny answer Tuesday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. When should I mention IBS to a job interviewer?

When is the best time to mention that I have a sometimes problematic health issue? For most all of my life, I have suffered from IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). Most of the time it has not been a major issue, but when I am under stress (like a new job) it is sometimes worse. And if it is flaring up, it is usually in the morning.

I am not a person that likes to be late anywhere or anytime, so for the most part, I have just tried to work afternoons part-time. But my husband is about to be laid off and I am looking at a new 8-5 job. I am on medication and try to manage it the best I can, but sometimes I just have “bathroom days.” If I am working a job where I am mobile, it is not so noticeable to my employer, but if I am at a reception desk, sometimes it can be a problem.

When is the best time to mention this, if at all? I have an interview on Thursday for a good full-time receptionist position with an accounting firm. The less stress the better, but worrying about this IBS causes stress in and of itself.

Wait to mention it until you have an offer, because you don’t want it to be a reason that you don’t get the offer at all. At that point, you can discuss whether they’re able to provide reasonable accommodation. But keep in mind that reasonable accommodation might not be possible with a receptionist position, where an essential duty of the job is being at the desk the vast majority of the time. If you know that you can’t reliably commit to that, it might make sense to avoid receptionist positions (just like you’d need to avoid, say, trucker positions if you couldn’t always drive reliably).

2. Is this an exception to the “don’t take a counteroffer” rule?

I know and agree with your opinion on accepting counteroffers (don’t do it), but I’m wondering if I may be headed towards a situation that may be an exception to the rule, or if I’m deluding myself.

There is an opportunity at my current employer that would be the logical next step in my career. I have told the person in charge of this hiring decision that I am very interested, and asked what I can do to position myself for a role like the one that is available. I was encouraged to apply, but told that it may be “a stretch” for me at this time. I am not unhappy at my job, and would like to have a long career here, assuming that career continues to progress.

I was recently contacted about a recruiter about a job that would be equivalent to the open position at my current company, and that I seem to be well positioned for in a number of ways. It is still very early in the exploration phase of this opportunity, but for the sake of argument, let’s say things go very well and I find myself with an offer. My instinct would be to go to the decision maker for the position at my current employer and let them know the situation — that I was approached about a job out of the blue, and that I had an offer and it represents a good move onto the next stage of my career. I would explain that, given my ambitions, I would have a hard time turning down this type of offer, but I’d prefer not to leave.

Would this be the wrong approach, given that counteroffers are rarely a good idea? And I were to receive a counteroffer in the above scenario, would it be a bad idea to take it?

Unless you’re at a very small company, this isn’t quite a counteroffer. The hiring manager you’d be approaching doesn’t have the same incentive to keep you as your current manager; in fact, your current manager would be losing you in this deal. Counteroffers are really about retaining an employee you don’t want to lose, but in this case the manager you’d be approaching wouldn’t be faced with whether to keep or lose you; she’d be faced with whether to hire you over other candidates who it sounds like she thinks are more qualified. The fact that you’ve been offered a job somewhere else isn’t likely to suddenly make her think you’re more qualified than she thought you were a few days ago (and if it does, you’d need to seriously question her judgment — which would bring you right back to it not being a good idea to take such an offer).

3. How can I convince my boss to let me work out my notice period?

I work in an HR-related role at a for-profit career college. In the past year, since my “new” president started with us, there has been a ton of turnover, both voluntary and involuntary. I’ve been heavily involved in each incident, and with the exception of one situation very early on, he has never allowed anyone to work out their notice. He indicated that we should discuss this with him if one of our employees quits, but in 99.99% of cases, he says there’s no reason to allow them to work their notice. I actually don’t disagree, since most of the staff that quits absolutely hates him, and allowing them to hang around only riles up the employees still stuck here.

I’ve been with the company for over six years, which is longer than all but two other employees. There are many functions I take care of on a daily basis that no one else knows how to do. We do have a corporate office that could swoop in to train a replacement, but I know it will be a huge burden on my employees if I were to disappear. I am expecting a job offer soon, and I’m wondering if you have any advice about how I can convince him I belong in the 0.01% of people who should be allowed to work their notice. It’s important to me to train those who will be left with my work. I have been tying up loose ends as much as possible over the weeks I’ve been interviewing, and I’ve prepared as many instruction manuals as possible, but if I actually start training people on some of my functions before I leave, my boss will catch wind and fire me. I’ve had an overall wonderful experience at this company, and I want it to end gracefully, not with a disappearing act.

You can’t control whether he lets you work out your notice period or not, and since it sounds like he’s highly likely not to let you, I would start working from the assumption that he won’t. When you resign, you can certainly tell him that you’ve put together a transition plan for training people in your functions before you leave, but it’s up to him whether or not he accepts that offer. And if he doesn’t, that’s really not your responsibility to handle — yes, it will be a burden on your coworkers, but that’s not your fault and there’s nothing you can do about it. Your coworkers will survive, just as others have.

That said, if he doesn’t let you work out your notice period, that doesn’t mean you have to end your work there with a disappearing act. There’s no reason you can’t say goodbye to people you’ve worked with and let them know where you’re going next, even if you have to do that from home after you’re gone.

4. Should I mention tuition benefits in my cover letter?

I am applying for a position at a university, and am doing so for three reasons — first, I love the school and the environment; second, the job sounds like a great fit and I am excited about the position; and third, I am applying to one of their advanced degree programs. One of the perks of working at a university is that you get tuition remission, so I could essentially get paid to earn a degree. Given that fact, I’ve been debating whether or not to mention in my cover letter that I plan to pursue a degree at the institution. On the one hand, I think it shows that I have an interest in staying for a while and am committed to the field (the degree and position are related), but on the other I worry that they might think that I am only applying for the benefit. I am completely qualified for the position, but I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot. I also worry about not mentioning it, and then having trouble getting the okay to take classes down the road. What do you suggest?

I think it’s fine to mention it in passing, but I wouldn’t mention it as one of your reasons for being interested in the job, as they want to hire people who are enthusiastic about the work for its own sake, not because of a tuition benefit.

5. Does it reflect badly on me that I’ve had five managers in the same job?

I have been at my present job for five and half years. This was my first full-time job after I graduated from college, and there have been more downs than up since I have been here, but I have still stuck around. Recently, my supervisor quit after being in the position for five months. So now I am about to be on my fifth immediate supervisor. When I am applying for other positions, does this reflect badly on me as an employee?

It’s very unlikely that prospective employers will know how many managers you’ve had in this position. It’s pretty rare for an interviewer to even think to ask that, so it wouldn’t come up unless you mention it yourself.

6. Interviewing for a job where there’s been a harassment claim

I recently interviewed for a job assisting a department head at an Ivy League school. I have not met the person I would be assisting yet, but did talk to the person who would be my direct manager, who seemed very nice and down to earth. The interview seemed to go extremely well. If I get a second interview, it will be with the department head.

I googled the department head after my interview and noticed that he had a sexual harassment claim against him a few years ago that was settled out of court. It was a very high profile and sensational case. What he was accused of was really disgusting, and allegedly went on for years.

Obviously, this is a really big concern for me in considering this position (I am female, and the person who claimed harassment is also female). I did ask the manager in my follow-up email what it was like to work for the department head, and whether there were any challenges involved. I actually just forgot to ask this in the interview and hadn’t looked into his past yet. I am hoping that he will address the sexual harassment issue if he replies, but I don’t know that he will.

I’m sort of stumped about what to do, and whether it’s appropriate to just ask the department head and/or the manager about it in the interview, or after I’ve received an offer. I don’t even know what to ask though! It is possible that the claim was false but there’s no way to know since it didn’t go to court. I would very much like to work for this university and I could always transfer if working for this guy is intolerable, but I would not like to work in the kind of environment that the claim describes even for a short time.

Well, first, asking about it in an email isn’t likely to get you useful information. People don’t generally talk about this sort of thing in writing; this is something you want to ask about face to face if you want an honest answer.

By the way, it’s worth considering that someone who has been through a high-profile legal battle might be highly unlikely to behave inappropriately again, since it’s extremely unlikely that they’d keep their job after a second credible allegation. (That’s not a guarantee, of course, but you should factor it into your thinking — this is someone who’s now under scrutiny from his employer and the public and who has probably been seriously reprimanded.) That’s not to say that you shouldn’t ask about it and really do some due diligence about the culture there; you should — but factor this in too.

7. Do I really have to keep my job search hidden from my manager?

I know it might be ill advised to tell my manager that I’m looking for a job in general, but I’m a recent college grad. Would it still be a bad idea to tell them and ask for their reference? I just figured they have to know I’m leaving a minimum wage job for something that could actually pay down my student loans. Am I being paranoid or should I not tell my managers about my job search?

I don’t know. What’s their track record of dealing with other people who mention they’re looking for another position? If they’ve shown that they handle it well, then it’s reasonable to assume they’ll handle it well with you too. But if you don’t know, then assume that you should follow the typical convention of not openly seeking to leave unless you have some sort of strong indication that it won’t jeopardize your job. (If you’re in retail or food service rather than an office job, it might be entirely normal to be open about this — although you should still take your cues from how others have handled it.)

A reader writes:

My shock at work started yesterday, when the VP of admin (my immediate superior, and the owner’s spouse) sent an email to one of our contractors referring to me as her assistant. I wouldn’t have even said anything about it, only she mentioned it to me herself, and said “I didn’t know how else to refer to you.”

Thinking that she needed clarification or confirmation about my job title, I said that in future correspondences, I would prefer to be referred to by my job title, which is Office Manager. She thanked me for my input and for letting me know about my preference, and I thought the matter done, congratulating myself for having a boss open to feedback.

This morning, she called me into her office and said that what I did was insubordination, and that I could not speak to her like that, because she was the owner of the company. She said that I did not deserve the title of Office Manager, as I was only doing half the duties of the position. (I am still in the 60-day probationary period for the position.) She said that I didn’t even have a car (which was NOT one of the requirements for the position, and I was even upfront about that fact, and she said herself that it would not be a problem). She said that there was no room in the company with someone with an ego problem, and if I couldn’t get an attitude adjustment over the weekend, then I could just not show up to work next week. She then asked me to leave work early, because she “can’t concentrate on work thinking that she would say something that would offend me.”

My question is this: Was I insubordinate in asking her to call me by the job title I was hired for? Was she right in asking me to leave the office early because I was impeding her job performance? Is there any possibility of salvaging my work relationship with her without becoming a total doormat?

There were other red flags before this — they advertised an $18 hourly rate for the position, but said that because I was inexperienced with the software they were using at work, they were only comfortable offering me $16. I agreed to the decrease in pay, because they said that they would increase it after 30 days depending on how quickly I picked up the software (which I put in writing in my job acceptance email). I was supposed to have an informal job evaluation today, but she sent me home and said that we would have a formal job evaluation next week instead, should I decide to come back. I no longer feel confident asking for the two dollars, even though I’ve mastered the software, and I also no longer feel like I have any job security. There is no one at the company who will advocate for me, because nobody wants to go up against the owner’s wife.

Well, she sounds horrid and a bit insane.

No, it’s not insubordination to be asked to be called by a particular title. It’s certainly possible to make that request in an obnoxious or snotty way, but the request itself isn’t inherently insubordinate. And even if you did ask it in a particularly obnoxious or snotty way (I have no reason to think you did; I’m just speaking hypothetically here), her response to it was silly. In that case, a good manager would say, “Hey, your tone there really took me aback; what’s going on?” or “The title issue aside, you need to communicate more professionally” or whatever; she wouldn’t berate you the way it sounds like you were berated. Berating you was bizarre, unwarranted, and indicative of someone who doesn’t know how to relate to others professionally or exercise authority in an effective way.

And speaking hypothetically again, there’s not anything wrong with a manager saying to someone, “Why don’t you take the next few days off and think about whether this is the right job for you?” if they genuinely mean it. But saying that you need to leave early because she “can’t concentrate on working thinking that she might say something that would offend you” is ridiculous. It makes the situation overly personal and it once again shows that she doesn’t know how to exercise authority appropriately — because as your manager, she could simply get aligned with you on what is and isn’t reasonable, expect you to adhere to those standards, and not spend the rest of her day trembling in fear that she might offend you.

So she sounds completely inept at managing (and at using reason and logic), and you’re right to think that you don’t have any job security because when a loon like this is running around with authority, you have to assume that they could lash out at any moment.

As an aside, for whatever it’s worth, I don’t actually think the pay issue is a red flag. They offered you the salary they wanted to offer, and you accepted it — that’s not a red flag. If they’d then backed out of their agreement to increase it once you learned their software, that would be a problem … but simply offering you a lower-than-advertised salary isn’t problematic in and of itself; you always have the option to decline it or try to negotiate for more.

But that’s irrelevant; the point to focus on here is that you can’t securely work in an office where someone who behaves like this has any authority over you. I’d start looking for another job — preferably at an office where the owner isn’t married to an employee.

A reader writes:

My ex-boyfriend, (I broke up with him 4-5 months ago) just informed me that he is interviewing for a job at my company (and a move back to our hometown, a smallish city). For some background, we are a medium-size company (~200 people) and the job he is applying for would be in the same office that I work in (about 30 people).

Our breakup wasn’t one of those super-nasty violent ones, but I clearly expressed my desire to end the relationship (repeatedly) and finally was able to make the break-up “stick.” He has persistently tried to get me back, ignoring my wishes to end the relationship, and called and texted me repeatedly, stuff like that. Mainly, it was just a nuisance, (nothing threatening) and it got so intrusive that I had to spell it out in bold capital letters “DO NOT CONTACT ME, do not call, do not text, do not email,” in bold letters (despite not having any real hatred for him). He contacts me less, but still a lot, and does not respect the boundaries I have tried to create.

Naturally, it bothers me that he is applying here, but at the same time I understand that people apply for jobs. He DOES know the director of one of the departments (who is above my boss) but he does not have any background in our line of business.

I am bothered by this, because we have a young, close-knit, but male-dominated company, I would see him daily, and to make matters worse, I sit at the front desk, like a receptionist (despite being an analyst). This is another issue, but I just dread the possibility of seeing him at work, him talking smack about me to coworkers, and overall being condescending toward me, or trying to get on my nerves if he can’t get what he wants (me).

What am I to do? How do I handle this situation professionally/appropriately? I would really like to avoid this situation if at all possible. Is it acceptable to be asked to be transferred or leave?

Has it occurred to you that this is no coincidence and he’s applying for a job at your company specifically in order to be around you? Because given his disregard for your clearly stated boundaries and his willingness to behave inappropriately, that’s almost certainly what’s happening here. So first, on a personal level before we get into how to handle this at work: Please read Gavin De Becker’s The Gift of Fear — because this is someone who has continued to contact you after you explicitly told him to stop, so you need to be familiar with how to best enforce boundaries that he’s willfully ignoring. (For instance, do not respond to him at all, no matter how many times he contacts you, or he’ll just learn that the price of a response from you is 17 contacts, or whatever. There’s tons of advice about situations like this in the book, not all of which is intuitive, and it also has good advice on how to tell if a situation is changing from merely a nuisance to something more concerning.)

As for how to handle it at work … You need to tell whoever is handling the hiring for this position, and potentially HR and your own manager as well, that this is happening. And when you do, it’s essential that you make it clear that this is not about you feeling awkward about working with an ex. This is about an ex who has persistently tried to get you back, who ignored your wishes to end the relationship, and who has continued to contact you repeatedly despite your telling him clearly to stop. That is highly relevant here — because no employer who hears this context is going to invite this situation into their office. If they have even an ounce of sense, that will be the end of his application right there.

And that is fair. None of this “I understand that people apply for jobs” excuse-making that you have in your letter. What he has done here is not normal, it signals something very troubling about him, and it is 100% reasonable for you to want to keep him out of your work life. You should not be subjected to his intrusions at work, and any reasonable employer will want to protect you from that.

Please talk with someone in a position of authority in your office about this guy today.

With a new class of college graduates preparing to leave school, millions of new grads are going to be trying to figure out how to find a job. Over at U.S. News & World Report today, I talk about 10 key tips that new grads should know as they enter into what’s still a tough job market, including not applying for everything they see, not waiting to start searching, and more. You can read it here.

It’s mini answer Monday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Do employers really have to interview a minimum number of candidates for every job?

My question relates to the often expressed “practice or rule” about “interviewing at least 3 candidates” for a position before we hire “the person we really want.” Is this true or is this just a bogus HR myth? I hear it so often, and people just say it like it’s the law.

No law requires anything at all related to hiring, other than that an employer cannot discriminate on the basis of race, sex, religion, etc. There’s certainly no law requiring a minimum number of interviews.

However, some employers have internal policies (their own policies, not related to any law) that they will interview at least X applicants for each position — sometimes because they genuinely think that’s smart to do in hiring (which it usually is), but more often in order to avoid allegations of discrimination. The problem is that employers often follow the letter of the policy rather than the spirit — meaning they already know who they’re going to hire but they follow their own policy anyway, which wastes their own time and the candidates’ time and violates the whole point of what their policy is intended to achieve. It’s bad management.

2. When an interviewer only asks about 5% of the job

I have been on 2 recent interviews. At both interviews, the majority of the questions were employee relations or customer relations oriented. They skipped 95% of their job related requirements. How do you let them know your abilities as related to their requirements without being forceful? I understand what their concerns are, but I want to let them know I can do the job. Both jobs were manager/supervisor positions.

Well, they’re presumably asking you the questions that they believe will best help them figure out whether you’re the right person for the job. You could certainly say something like, “I know a big part of the role is X, and I’d love to tell you about my experience in that area” … but it’s possible that they already feel perfectly assured of your ability to do X based on your background and what they want to hear more about is the stuff they’re asking you.

It’s also worth considering that the job might not be nearly as focused on X as you think it is (no matter what the job posting said), so that might be something for you to ask about.

3. Referencing a bad experience with an employer in a cover letter

I’m in the process of job searching, and I’m going to be applying to several positions at a national nonprofit that is more of an umbrella organization to many regional locations. I would love a position at any location, and really believe in their mission, even supporting it financially.

Six years ago, I used their services as a client and had a terrible experience. I could tell it was because everyone was overworked, and it reinforced what I had already heard: some locations are terrible and others are great. The ones I’m going to be applying to are nowhere near this bad location, not that I would necessarily identify where the terrible experience happened.

I want to think that this may make a good bit for my cover letter, in that I believe in their mission so much and I want to be a committed member of their team to ensure people only have great experiences, etc. I realize it will be difficult to pull off delicately, if at all. My question is: should I even attempt it, or is it too high a risk that I may offend them? If I could attempt it, what parameters or guidelines would you suggest?

Nope, can’t do it. It’s likely to offend them, and it’s also likely to come across as a little silly, as if you think you’ll be in a position to fix what sound like serious systemic problems, which you almost certainly won’t be. It would be much better to focus on the fact that you’ve used and support their services, without criticizing them.

4. References who have changed jobs or are in more junior roles

I’ve been in my job for almost six years, which is a remarkably long time in my industry–in fact, of my three most recent managers, two have left the industry and the third is in an altogether different role. What’s the best way to point this out when I give them as references? When I’m applying for “VP, Chocolate Teapot Production Director,” I think someone whose current position is “Marzipan Distribution Specialist” might raise an eyebrow.

Which raises a separate question: I’ve risen quickly through the ranks and am now reaching for a very senior position. All of my references, though, are/were middle management; I haven’t kept in touch with department/division chiefs and LinkedIn has come up empty. Is it going to count against me that none of them ever held a title as senior as I would at this job?

Most reference-checkers don’t care what a reference’s current title is; they want to know what their title was when you reported to them. So list it like this:
Jane Smith (my manager from 2009-2012, as ABC Company’s VP of Teapot Production)

It shouldn’t be held against you that none of your references have held positions as senior as the one you’re applying for.

5. Applying for a job where I volunteer

I’m applying for a job at a museum where I’ve volunteered for the last two years. At the volunteer appreciation tea, the education manager told me about the upcoming summer positions and gave me her business card. I’m applying now, and, per the instructions, sending my resume and cover letter to HR. Should I call the education manager? What do I say? Do I call my own manager (I volunteer in interpretation) and let her know I’m applying? I really don’t want to come off too strong, or look like I’m trying to take the back door in.

Don’t call either of them; email them both and let them know you applied. Calls interrupt people; emails can be responded to at their convenience. You won’t look presumptuous; this is normal to do, and people expect it. (If anything, it might be weird if you didn’t tell them.)

6. When can I approach my new manager about a promotion and raise?

Last summer, I transitioned into a new career in communications. I took an entry-level job at a nonprofit. Six months after I started, my supervisor left. I have taken over almost all of her job duties, and have enjoyed and succeeded at my new responsibilities.

There are no immediate plans to replace my supervisor. Unfortunately, the head of the department won’t promote me because I’m not qualified. However, the word is out that she is leaving soon. At what point do I approach her replacement about a possible promotion and raise? I am basically doing two jobs at this point, and I’m totally fine with it. It would be a waste to hire a second person to do half of my work when I’m handling it well. But I think it’s only fair to compensate me for the work I’m doing, which is not the work I was hired to do.

Well, she’s not really going to be in a position to assess whether or not you deserve a promotion and raise — and whether you’re the person she wants in the higher-level position — until she’s really settled in and has had a chance to get to know her own job and your team’s work. I would wait a minimum of four months, but even that is pushing it and you’re probably better off waiting longer that.

Also, if your current manager won’t promote you because you’re “not qualified,” there might not be reason to think the second manager will — which is all the more reason to wait, and spend that time proving yourself to her.

7. Internship has turned into The Weakest Link

I graduated from university about a year ago and started grad school last fall. I have had a difficult time finding a steady job, so I have been volunteering and doing temp work. Thanks to a networking connection who encouraged me to apply, I was selected for a 15-week paid internship. Honestly, I was incredibly surprised to be selected because the interview was horrible. When I walked in, I was informed that I was interviewing for a job and the internship. Their plan was to select a person to be a “chocolate teapot maker” and the intern would work with that person. At the end of the internship they would decide if they were keeping the intern or the person they hired to be a “chocolate teapot maker.” Is this normal? My college mentor had never heard of a situation like this. I feel like I am in the Weakest Link or something with the new chocolate teapot maker.

I believe I am doing a good job as an intern and I am trying not to let this knowledge affect my performance. Is there anything you can suggest that would help me do this? I have never been in a situation like this before. It is so strange I am not sure what to do other than finish out my 14 remaining weeks and just be grateful I am getting paid. I am not even certain if I would want to remain if they offered me the position after my time as an intern is up.

Yes, that’s pretty weird. It would be one thing if they said they had two intern slots and hoped to hire one of the two at the end of the internship. But hiring someone for a regular job that they might be kicked out of in 15 weeks if the intern does a better job is weird. It raises questions about their ability to hire too; they should be able to tell who is able to perform at regular-job level and who is able to perform at intern level. And if they’re not sure, they shouldn’t be hiring for the regular-job spot yet.

In any case, you didn’t go into it seeking the job anyway, just the internship, and you found that. So finish out the internship, and if they do offer you a job at the end of it, you can decide at that point if this is somewhere you want to work or not. 14 more weeks there will give you a lot more data to go on.

It’s short answer Sunday — six short answers to six short questions. Here we go…

1. Unexpected second interview

I had a great job interview on Wednesday, and they told me they’d be making a decision very soon and would let me know “yay or nay” within days as they’re wanting to get someone into the position as soon as possible. This morning, I got a call to come back next week for a second interview. I understand that second interviews are generally positive, but I definitely get the impression that this wasn’t the original hiring plan. I’m guessing that I must be neck-and-neck with another candidate, and they’re doing a second interview to finalize the decision. Should I prepare differently for this interview? Wednesday I talked to a corporate HR person and the office manager. This meeting will be with that same office manager, plus the branch manager.

I’d prepare the same way. If there’s anything that you noticed they were really probing into or seemed unsure about in the first interview, I’d especially prepare to talk more about that.

As for what it might mean, it’s possible that they can’t choose between you and another candidate and are doing this to help make the choice, or it’s possible that there’s some area of skill or fit that they’re unsure about with you, or it’s possible that the branch manager just asked to meet the final candidates and they hadn’t anticipated that she’d want to.

2. Can a manager reveal your salary to others?

Is it illegal/unethical for a manager to reveal an employee’s salary to other employees that report to him?

It’s not illegal. I’m not sure I’d argue that it’s really unethical either, in the strictest sense of the word; in fact, lots of people think it would be better if all salaries were public knowledge. That said, in a context where everyone’s salary was NOT public knowledge, I wouldn’t be thrilled about my manager telling people my salary.

3. Applications that give “later” as an option for reference-checking 

I saw an online application today that did something I had never seen before. In the “listing previous employers” section, it had the typical question, “may we contact this employer?” But this application had three options for an answer: Yes, No, and Later. Color me impressed. I liked this because it doesn’t look like you’re trying to hide something if you just want to be sure your references aren’t contacted without warning.

Agreed. Frankly, they shouldn’t even ask for references until you’re at the finalist stage, but this is better than what a lot of them do.

4. Should I tell my manager why I’ve been behaving oddly?

Around the time my current manager arrived, I had a major falling-out with another employee I was quite close with. Essentially, she just wrote me off; I’m still not sure why. She’s the type to hold a grudge, and now she and my manger are very close. They have all their breaks together, lunch, etc. and always work late together. I took it quite personally and let it prevent me from being as open with my manger as I could be, especially as I’ve been a bit under the weather lately with my marriage breakup. Should I tell my manager why I’ve been so odd? I’m extremely fragile at the moment and don’t have a close relationship with my boss, but I have pretty great relationships with the rest of the team.

No. Too much drama. Just get your act together right now, start doing an excellent job, and start behaving professionally.

5. Did I lose out on this job when I didn’t follow up due to health problems?

I’ve recently been interviewing with a company that I’m interested in working for. A headhunter approached me about 2 months ago in regards to a position similar to one I have held previously, in a competing company. The company that I work for now has some culture issues that I wasn’t aware of when I first came to work there, so I was excited at the new opportunity. I’ve done my research, and I think this may be a really good move for me! During my first interview (which was a 5-hour interview, with 5 different people), I must have impressed someone quite a bit since the headhunter came back to me saying that they liked me so much, they were creating a position more in line with my current experience. I went on that second interview last week, and I think it also went really well.

The problem? Since my second interview, I have been hit by a barrage of health problems. I’ve been in the hospital, and subjected to multiple tests and procedures. So I haven’t exactly gotten around to writing the follow-up email to my interviewers.

I know that this company moves slowly — there was a full 3 weeks between my first interview and my second. But I still haven’t heard anything since this second interview, and I’m becoming convinced that it is because I haven’t sent a follow-up email. Is it too late now? I don’t want to alert a possible future employer to my health problems, but I don’t want them to think that I just forgot to send this email. If they liked me so much after the first interview that they went back and created a position for me, why didn’t they immediately offer me the position after the second interview?

It is not too late at all. Send it now, today! You don’t need to mention the health problems; you can just say that you’re really interested in the role and you’d love to talk further and hear where they are in their decision-making process.

As for why they didn’t immediately offer you a position after the second interview — stuff takes time. Hiring in general takes time, but creating a new position takes even longer, at least if they’re going to do it thoughtfully.

6. Job-searching because of a possible layoff

I recently learned from the principal investigator in the lab I work in that my position may be terminated at the end of the fiscal year due to budget cuts. Due to the nature of scientific research, this can also depend on a number of factors, including grant funding, etc. As a result, I began job searching for positions in other laboratories at the institution I currently work at. I informed my direct supervisor about my situation, and I’ve already been invited to interview with another laboratory in the department I work in.

There is a decent chance that the principal investigator of my current lab knows my interviewer, but I don’t have him listed as a reference (my direct supervisor with whom I work with on a daily basis is my reference). Should I notify him that I am interviewing for other positions? If I’m asked why I’m looking for employment during the interview, is it alright to mention the possibility of my current position ending?

Yes, let him know. He probably assumes it, since he’s the one who warned you that your job may end soon, but have an explicit conversation with him about it so that you can use him as a reference (or in case he’s called without you including him as a reference). And yes, it’s absolutely fine to say in interviews that you’re looking because your job may be ending; that’s perfectly understandable.

It’s short answer Saturday — six short answers to six short questions. Here we go…

1. Bringing a camera to a job interview

I’m going to interview with a company in the gaming industry next week in their headquarters. Their headquarters are a monument to nerd-ism, and I’d love to bring a camera and take some pictures! Do you think it would look good if a candidate says: “Can I take a picture of this 5 feet tall statue of a game character?” Or I ask for a picture with one of my interviewers, who works as a game designer on a title that sold 25 million copies the same day it was released?

I’m so excited about this opportunity, and I don’t want to ruin it because of a silly mistake.

Don’t do that. You’ll look like you’re there as a fan rather than a serious candidate. And they are making time to talk with you as a job candidate, not a fan who wants to take pictures. While some people might not be put off by this, enough will that it’s too much of a risk. (Read this for a longer explanation of a similar situation.)

2. When you’re rushed through an interview and then made an offer

I had an interview for an internship with a direct service healthcare agency. The interview was a rushed 20 minutes and after I asked two questions, the interviewer cut me off to see the next intern-hopeful. I didn’t even get to learn some basic things about their agency like their preferred modality of treatment! I waited for a while and then the two of us were shuffled into a room where the interviewer said a little more about the agency, then offered 2 spots to both of us right there and started to talk about the next steps. As he was talking he said, “If you’re accepting the position..?” And looked at us each for an answer. Thankfully, the other candidate just looked back at him with me and let him finish his sentence as if he hadn’t expected a response.

Is there a way to ask those outstanding questions without (1) making it seem like I don’t know how to “go with” the rushed pace of health and human services these days or (2) rudely pointing out that he didn’t allow for a “complete” interview?

Also, the interviewer wants an answer “as soon as possible, like tomorrow.” But I have already-scheduled interviews through Friday. I feel like if I don’t respond soon, I’ll lose the spot, but I do want to see what all my choices are. If I can’t afford to be picky (and thus can’t afford to out-right reject a place that is throwing up a few at least pink flags), how should I respond? Because of the power differential wherein interns have almost no leverage (flooded market), other friends of mine in the same situation have agreed and kept looking anyway. Full disclosure: I can see why they were tempted to do that.

When you get an offer but still have questions, it’s fine to say, “I have some questions I’d love to get answered. Is now a good time for that or should we set up a phone call later in the week?” As for needing to give a decision right away, you can reasonably ask for up to a week to decide, but if they need an answer before then, well, you’ve got to decide if you prefer a certain job offer over a not-certain hypothetical offer somewhere else. But you really shouldn’t accept it with the intention of continuing to look — first, because of integrity (something you don’t want to start your career off without, by the way), second because you’ll burn bridges and potentially impact your reputation if you leave shortly after accepting an offer, and third because if your new employer hears through the grapevine that you’re still interviewing, you risk losing that offer AND not getting other ones.

3. Explaining a move when job searching

I have an issue I’d love your help with. My boyfriend and I are talking about moving to the west coast from the northeast after we graduate from grad school next spring. My boyfriend is from Southern California, and we want to be closer to his family. I’ve never lived on the west coast (born and raised in the northeast, attended college in the mid west and grad school in New England), so I’d like something short that I can write or say that will convey that this is a permanent move. I don’t want to come across as flighty (New Englander wants to live in the sun for a year before returning home!), but I also don’t want to reveal too much of my personal life.

“I’m moving to ___ to be nearer to family.”

4. Pre-planned vacations and internal moves

I recently got offered and accepted a new job, but it is with the same company, just a different segment of the company — I’m transferring positions. I will have a new boss and coworkers; I start my new position in 2 weeks.

I have 2 pre-planned vacations for this summer — one in July to see family back home, and another in August for my grandparents’ 60th wedding anniversary celebration. Flights have been booked for both, although I could get out of the July trip, if necessary. These were both approved by my current boss. Do I email my new boss now telling (asking) her about these 2 weeks and if they are okay, or should I wait until I’m physically at my new position, and ask about them then?

Ask her about them now. It’s far more courteous, because if she’s assuming you’ll be there during those weeks, she may make plans that depend on that (such as approving vacation time for someone else then, or signing you up for a conference). If you wait to check with you, you’ll look cavalier about it.

5. Employer wants a bio, in addition to a resume

I am being called back for a second interview and they asked me to send them a brief bio prior to coming in again. Since they have my resume, what would the bio include?

That’s weird. I’m not sure why they want it, but write it the same way you’d write a bio if you needed to submit it for something else — your background in narrative form.

6. Reprimanded for calling off two Sundays in a row

Should I recieve a reprimand or a write-up for calling off two Sundays in a row? Does this constitute a pattern of abuse?

I can’t answer that without more context. If your manager doesn’t trust you or has reason to think the call-outs weren’t legitimate, then sure, that could constitute a pattern of abuse. What were you reasons for calling off? What’s your attendance history previously?

A reader writes:

I’ve worked in various departments at a large university. It’s very common for these departments to hire student workers, and many of them are paid through the federal work study program. They’re all capped at working 20 hours/week.

I’ve supervised student workers in all of my positions, and they’ve held various titles ranging from Administrative Assistants to Research Assistants to Marketing Assistants. So, on my resume, if I say that I managed/supervised two Research Assistants, is that disingenuous?

Of course, there are clear differences between a student worker and a regular part-time worker who is not in school. We are generally much more supportive and flexible with student workers. We very much understand that work is not a top priority for them–school is. If they need to study for an exam or to write a paper, there is no problem with them taking the day off, for example. And since they are working toward a degree, they generally don’t bring a mindset of digging in and looking for more professional opportunities in the office. They are there temporarily to make some money to support themselves while they are in college, and they will probably leave without looking back. On the other hand, managing students takes a lot of knowledge that “real” managers have, from the nitty-gritty of coordinating scheduling, personnel paperwork and verifying time cards to the higher level areas of building teams, teaching processes and managing workloads and deadlines.

At my university, there is a clear understanding that managing student workers is not “real” management. That experience would never, ever be something that qualifies you to supervise a “real” position. One time we were interviewing candidates from other universities for an opening in our department, and one person’s resume said that she supervised a team of 5 people. When she came in for an interview, it became apparent that the person actually supervised 5 student workers. Management here instantly felt that the person led them on in their resume, and they did not move them forward in the interview process.

That candidate was “found out” (IF there was something TO find) because people in university environments know how the system works and have already made their judgments about it, fair or not. But what about other organizations or for-profits? Can I say that I “supervised three administrative assistants” on my resume for those places?

This is one of those things that I suspect everyone around me is putting on their resumes, and I’m being the only dumb/honest one that is selling myself short because of this sticking point. And I certainly don’t want that.

Why not just say it more clearly, so that you’re not misleading anyone about what the work involves? Instead of saying “managed three administrative assistants,” write that you “managed three student administrative assistants” or “managed three administrative assistants (part-time student positions).”

Managing student workers is very different than managing regular employees. In addition to the differences you cited, the bar for their performance and their accountability and commitment is lower, which means that you’re not giving the same type or amount of feedback, you’re not having tough conversations about performance (or you’re having them at a far different point), and you’re not making the same types of hard decisions that stem from holding that kind of high bar. And good management is very much about those things, so when you cite experience managing, those differences are a key detail.

Think of it this way: You’re doing some of the “management 101″ stuff, but not the 201 or 301 pieces. And that’s fine — there’s nothing wrong that.

But you do want to be clear about it and not make it sound as if it’s the equivalent of managing a team of three regular employees, because (a)  if it comes out in your interview that these were really part-time student positions, you’ll look naive about what’s really involved in managing, and that will weaken, not strengthen, your candidacy, and (b) if it doesn’t come out in your interview, then you risk ending up in a job where you’ll crash and burn. And I say the latter because managing well takes experience and skill — it’s not something you want to bluff your way into; if you’re going into it relatively inexperienced, you want your employer to know that, so that they don’t hire you for a position you won’t excel in, and so that if they do hire you, their expectations will be calibrated correctly and you can be given an appropriate amount of support.

(Granted, a good hiring process will ferret this out anyway, but since many hiring processes are not good, it’s in your best interests to be clear about your experience up-front.)

That doesn’t mean that you don’t get credit for the work that you did — just that it’s important to be clear about exactly what your experience does and doesn’t entail. That’s how you’ll find yourself in a job that matches your experience well, and that you can excel in.

A reader writes:

I live in California and am a “salaried” employee. I receive the same rate of pay every two weeks. My boss requires me to fill out a timesheet with my actual time worked each day (e.g., I input that I arrive at 8:00 am, take a lunch from 12:30 pm – 1:00pm, and leave at 5:30 pm, for a total of 8.5 hours that day). Basically, like a timeclock but I hand-write my hours every day and hand the boss my timesheet at the end of the pay period. I generally skip lunch, work more than 8 hours in a day, and during some times of the year, I work 10-12 hour days. So the boss is requiring me to keep track of all these hours but yet I never receive more pay because I’m a “salaried” employee. I never had to keep a timesheet or punch a timeclock at any of my other four jobs while a salaried employee, so this seems odd to me.

In addition, the boss requires me to be in the office from 8-5 pm every day (during normal business hours). To keep up with my workload, I try to arrive at work early and stay late and also work weekends as needed, but the boss has a hard time if I were to occasionally come in at 10 am or leave at 3 pm to offset some of the extra hours I’ve been working. It’s as if I am expected to work an endless amount of hours. I do get a few weeks of vacation each year and take it when I can, but when I return to work from vacation I’m so far behind that I basically make up all of the hours I took off, so sometimes I feel it isn’t even worth taking the time off.

As a salaried employee, is it legal for the boss to require me to fill out this timesheet?

As a salaried employee, am I required to be at the office during certain hours of the day without any flexibility as to when I can come and go (as described above, on occasion)?

Is there a resource (other than an expensive attorney) you can point me to so I can research these types of labor laws so I have a better understanding of what is expected of me as a salaried employee?

First, I’m going to assume that when you say you’re salaried, you’re also exempt — because that’s the relevant part here. For anyone who’s not clear on the term: The government classifies all workers as exempt or non-exempt. Non-exempt workers must be paid overtime (time and a half) for any hours over 40 they work in a single week. Exempt workers are exempt from overtime requirements — but they must be paid the same salary every week, if they worked any portion of it, with a few narrow exceptions. I’m going to assume for the rest of this question that you are in fact exempt (although note that it’s possible to be both salaried and non-exempt — confusing but true).

As an exempt employee, you have to be paid your same salary amount each week, whether you only worked 10 hours that week or whether you worked 50. (Your employer does have the option of paying you overtime if they choose to, but that’s entirely at their discretion; they just can’t dock your pay.)

However, that has nothing to do with time-tracking. Your employer can absolutely require you to track your time, and there are plenty of legitimate reasons to do that, like billing clients, tracking resources allocated to particular projects, or knowing how much time off you’ve used. Many, many employers have exempt employees report their hours for these reasons.

As long as your employer isn’t taking deductions from your paycheck based on the number of hours you worked, there’s no legal issue here. No law prevents an employer from requiring time tracking — only from changing exempt employees’ pay based on it.

It’s also perfectly legal for an employer to require exempt employees to work particular hours — to say that you must be present and working between 8 and 5, for instance. Of course, if you don’t meet their required hours, they can’t dock your pay. But they can certainly require you to work those hours as part of the job and fire you if you don’t. (Whether they should or not is a different issue; in many jobs, it’s much more reasonable to allow you to come in late or leave early if you’re working long hours on other days. But that’s just about what’s reasonable, not about the law.)

The laws on exempt and non-exempt status govern only how you’re paid, not how you’re treated.

It’s fast answer Friday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. I don’t want to travel for work anymore

I just recently returned to work from maternity leave. My job requires me to sometimes travel, and these trips are generally two night stays, though occasionally just one. Prior to having a baby, these trips weren’t really a huge deal. I had no problem complying with that part of my job description. Now, however, I feel quite differently about it. I nurse my baby, so overnight trips without her will not happen easily, not to mention the fact that I just have no desire to be away from my infant for very long (regular work days are hard enough)!

What is the best way to address this with my manager? Travel is part of my job description, I’m just not willing to do it at this point. I also can’t foresee being ready at any point in the near future. Do I just tell him I can’t do it? Acknowledge that I may no longer be the best person for the position? I’m not ready to just quit, but I am aware that broaching the subject might lose me my job.

Talk to your boss and ask if you can hold off on trips for now, while you’re adjusting to the baby. You might find out that things can be shuffled around so that you don’t need to travel for a while (and possibly ever, if you’re valued enough and it’s feasible for your role). Or, you might find out that there’s no flexibility there — in which case you’d need to start looking for a new job if this one requires travel that you’re not willing to do. But the first step is to talk about it.

And simply asking shouldn’t jeopardize your job. Saying, “I will no longer travel, period” might. But asking shouldn’t.

2. What does this mean?

Exactly two weeks ago today, I went on a job interview. I interviewed with several managers, as well as human resources. As far as I could tell, everything went perfectly well.

Several hours after my interview, I received a call from human resources saying that they really liked me but they feel that I would be a better fit for another position. They told me that I had to apply to the position before the end of the day because it would no longer be posted within several hours. I went ahead and applied, and sure enough the job was no longer posted the next day. What makes the situation even more bizarre is the fact that the job was posted the same day they called me to apply and taken down immediately after I sent human resources an email confirming that I applied to the position.

I was just wondering your thoughts on this. Is this a sure indicator that I am hired for the position? Should I follow up?

It’s not a sure indicator of anything at all, other than that they’d like you to be a candidate for the job. Beyond that, none of this means anything. You can certainly follow up with them and ask about the timeline for next steps on both positions.

3. Explaining to staff members why some have progressed faster than others

We’re in tourism/hospitality and gearing up for our busy season. Before we get there, I’d like to have a meeting with all the direct reports to go over policy issues, answer questions, and blow off a little steam.

We have three people on staff who were all hired at the same time and trained together but have shown remarkably different ability levels and talents. This has resulted in one member of this group receiving advanced responsibilities early on, as she is more than capable of handling them.

I have heard some grumblings through the grapevine that other staff members are feeling a little put out by her newfound authority (although, from what I hear, everyone really enjoys working with her). I don’t know how much of this is related to her age (she is significantly younger than the rest of the staff) and how much of it has to do with the fact that she simply caught on faster than the rest of the staff.

Would it be advisable to discuss with everyone at the meeting that they’ve all progressed differently and so received different responsibilities, but stress that we are all a team working towards the same goals? I’m tempted to leave well enough alone, but am preparing to go on maternity leave and don’t want to leave a great big mess that may explode once I’m gone, and I don’t want to create a problem where there’s just regular griping.

Explaining that they’ve all progressed differently and therefore received different responsibilities sounds a little condescending to me, but if you can find a way to say it that doesn’t insult their intelligence, then sure. But you might be better off simply taking on the grumblings on directly with people one-on-one when you hear them. (And keep an eye on those people; those sorts of grumblings are rarely heard from high performers, and often it’s quite the opposite.)

For what it’s worth, you can sometimes ward this off from the beginning by explaining why you’re giving someone increased responsibilities at the time that you first announce it — for example, “Because Jane has done a fantastic job at XYZ and learned it faster than we’ve ever thought possible, I’m asking her to manage all XYZ training from now on.”

4. Working for a younger, female manager

I wanted to ask your opinion on a new environment that will start for me next Monday. A new managing director will be starting in our group and she is 11-12 years younger than me (i.e., 34 years vs 45 years). I can’t wait to meet her and I am looking forward to working for her. She is very accomplished and I believe I can learn a lot from her. I have not had the experience of working for someone this much younger than me. Additionally, I work in a very male-dominated industry. It is in the financial services industry. I want to make her feel as secure as possible. I have almost never had personality conflicts in a work environment.

I want to avoid any land mines or pitfalls here. I understand that you do not have a background of my personality. But generally speaking, what were some of the biggest reasons why men that were much older than their female superiors could not make it work? Are there any suggestions that you can share with me that will make the transition easier for me?

Just treat her like a normal person and don’t think about her age (which isn’t even that much younger than you!) or her gender. You don’t need to do anything special to make her feel secure. Just treat her like you would any competent manager. I assure you that’s all she wants.

5. Why is this position still posted if it’s been filled internally?

Less than 12 hours after applying to an online job posting for a reputable company, I received an email from their HR department saying I had been selected to complete a recorded video interview at my convenience. Due to my schedule, I was unable to complete the interview until a week after receiving the invitation and I was in contact with HR to let them know. They seemed very enthusiastic, thanked me for telling them and wished me luck. I completed the recorded video interview the next week in the evening after work — it took me approximately 20 minutes as there were only a few, fairly basic questions. The next morning (less than 12 hours later), I received a phone call from an HR representative who was very apologetic and said that they had hired internally for the position. She also said that they would keep my interview on file and consider me for future openings and that I “did really well” in answering the questions. I first thought this was a good thing, and it was nice to know for certain that this position was not an option because I’ve had the unfortunate experience of being strung along by companies before. The problem is, I just went to the company website and the posting is still up. Granted all of this happened very recently, but you would think they’d remove it from the website to avoid having people apply when there is, supposedly, no position to hire for.

What does this mean? Have they just forgotten about taking down the posting or are they still collecting candidates in case they need to hire externally in the future? Should I reapply or contact their HR department again? (Personally I feel it may be too soon to do this.) And the biggest question of all, if they knew they were hiring internally, why did they not call me to let me know before I completed the interview?

It’s probably just an oversight that it’s still up, or someone moving very slowly in taking it down. I wouldn’t read into it anything more than that. Don’t reapply or contact them about it; they’ve already told you that the position is filled and they’re not considering you for it.

6. Giving past managers a heads-up before listing them on a job application

I know you need to ask permission to list references and should give them a head up about a call, but does that apply to former managers listed in my work history section?

No, if you’re simply filling out an application that asks for your past managers’ names, you don’t need to give them a heads-up … although it’s generally useful to do anyway, if you’re on good terms with them, because it’s helpful for them to know that you’re job searching (and they might be contacted even if you don’t list them as a reference.

(By the way, I’m assuming here that you’re talking about managers you’re listing on a job application, and that this doesn’t mean that you’re listing them on your resume, because they don’t belong there.)

7. When should graduating students start job searching?

It’s that time of the year, and antsy seniors are ready to graduate. I am among them, and I am curious how soon I should start a job search? I would hate to get my hopes up for a position, but be told the company does not want to wait 8 weeks to hire while I’m still in school.

Now! Start now. Job searches often take a really long time, and it’s conceivable that you could start now and still have no job by winter. And hiring processes take a while too. Weeks usually pass between applying and getting a phone interview, and between a phone interview and an in-person interview, and all of that and a decision. If you happen to stumble upon the rare employer who moves more quickly and they need an earlier start date than you can accommodate, well, then you’ll pass on that employer. But don’t sell yourself short by not getting a head start on the process with others.