hot-tempered ladies who hate their jobs

by Alison Green on September 12, 2011

I don’t usually post this kind of thing, but for some reason I find this fascinating…

The CBS daytime talk show “The Doctors” contacted me to say that they’re looking for a hot-tempered woman who hates her job with a passion and who would be willing to appear on the show. (The show wouldn’t identify you by your full name.)

You must have a temper!

Some possible profiles that could work:

– Someone who stresses a lot at work. They’d have a stress counselor on the show to counsel you on stress management.
– Someone who brings their work home with them. This could be someone fighting with her spouse, or someone who takes out her work anxieties on her family.
– Someone who has recently quit because she hates her job, or was fired for an outburst at work.

They’ll be filming this episode later this week in Los Angeles. If you fit the profile and want to take about it on national TV, email them here and include  a paragraph about why you hate your job (even if you already quit or were fired) and why you think you could use the help of a stress management expert. You should also include your name, email, phone number, and location.

Proceed at your own risk, of course, and remember my warning about reality TV and your career.

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{ 38 comments }

{ 38 comments… read them below }

  1. Heather*

    Boy, I wish I could nominate my old supervisor for this one! She not only flips out easily, but turns bright red and shakes while doing so. It would be great television.

    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      It would be great if there were a work behavior version of “What Not to Wear,” where other people nominated you and then the show secretly filmed you for a few weeks, then confronted you with their unflattering footage of your bad behavior and forced you to adopt new habits!

      1. Julie*

        I would definitely watch a show like that! I wonder what professionals they would use to do the “business makeover.” (Professional organizer, counsellor, computer trainer…)

      2. fposte*

        I totally think there should be “How Not to Be.” No psychology, just behavior advice–“See how when you belched and said ‘Bite me, y’all’ instead of moving so the EMTs could get to your coworker? That’s why nobody would cover your work while you were on vacation.”

          1. fposte*

            I meant it as an obvious invention, but then it was demonstrated downthread that no story was too weird to be true.

  2. ES*

    I was at a training at the AMA this past week, and one of the women in there said she choked her boss. I wish I could nominate that woman for this show.

      1. ES*

        Apparently the only consequences were that she got sent to this training, which was on managing emotions in the workplace. It was very bizarre…she wouldn’t give out many details, but she very obviously thought that she did not need to be there, and she turned almost every exercise into a way to toot her own horn (about how good she is at dealing with stress, how reliable she is, etc.).

        Like I said, she didn’t share many details, but she said her coworkers tried to make her do something that she didn’t want to do, even though they knew she didn’t want to. She said something about them surrounding her. The impression I got was that they threw her a surprise party, she freaked and choked her boss. She later clarified that she didn’t choke him *hard* – just put her hands on his neck and kind of pushed!

        She later complained that he never apologized for his part in what happened. Can’t say I blame him – I wouldn’t be apologizing either if she’d tried to choke me!

          1. ES*

            That was the only thing I could come up with based on the info she gave. I was fairly certain they weren’t, say, standing in a circle beating her with sticks.

        2. Kerry*

          I’ve often said to anyone who will listen that if you try and throw me a surprise party, I will throttle you. I’ve never actually DONE it though.

          Also, here in Wisconsin, we had an incident in which one of our State Supreme Court justices choked another one (at work! Seriously!). We’re super proud, lemme tell you.

          1. MaryBeth*

            Kerry, I don’t mean to be rude, but that didn’t actually happen. None of the witnesses could get their stories to match up, and the case was dropped because there was no consistent evidence.

            1. class factotum*

              I am with Mary Beth on this one. There were conflicting stories and apparently, no evidence that there was choking. The alleged victim did not file charges when the event was supposed to have happened, the speculation being that a judge would know better than to file a false report with the police.

              The special prosecutor, saying there was no basis for the claims, did not file charges against either the alleged assailant or the alleged victim.

  3. Anonymous*

    Wow! I have a story about wrestling my supervisor to the floor, while in a choke-hold, being handcuffed by cops and then eventually being led out of the office by security and the cops… But I’m over it… I think! LOL!

  4. Anonymous*

    Why a woman, I wonder? Maybe hot tempered men were so easy to find, they filled up those spots fast? ;)

  5. EngineerGirl*

    I hope it isn’t only women. That would be propagating a worn out and inaccurate stereotype – that women are all emotional and can’t handle work related stress. I hope, AAM, that you will follow up on this. Otherwise women will just have one more issue to fight – that because it is on TV it is true for all women!

    Daytime (maybe any) TV is more interested in views Vs truth.

      1. James*

        Exactly. I am pursuing a PhD in Nutrition, am my laboratory specializes in weight-loss diets. There is a morning talk show that is going to do a piece on one of our studies, and they specifically asked to interview a female subject. Also, they asked that we have the subject perform an exercise session during the filming, even though this particular study did not feature exercise in the protocol.

  7. AnonyMuse*

    Okay, since we’re talking about hot tempers… well, one time on my first day of work, I sent the CEO of the company “to his room” and told him not to come out until he could act like a human.

    I didn’t know it was the CEO, all I know was this guy in a suit was belittling and berating a temp who had the audacity to send a fax which didn’t have the date centered on it “like (Company) style!!!!” He was trying to pull the fax cord out of the wall while yelling at her, she was crying hysterically, his admin assistant was trying to explain what she had done was wrong… and in I walked. I pointed down the hall and told him to get out of here and go to a room and CALM DOWN before talking to anyone else! Shocked looks all around, silence while he stormed out and slammed his office door. That’s how I found out he was the CEO. Whoooops.

    Amazingly, he didn’t fire me. Didn’t write me up, nothing was ever mentioned of it. The man was an ass and a bully — but never once to me.

    1. Suzanne Lucas*

      It’s rather fortunate for you that you didn’t know who he was, because if you had, you would have been more hesitant to speak up.

      I’m impressed that you did! And I’ll bet he never gave you any problems. Knew you wouldn’t put up with it.

    2. Anon y. mouse*

      You are my new hero. Seriously. Hero.

      I also interacted with my company’s CEO before I knew who he was – fortunately he’s a very kind fellow and it was a very unexceptional hallway conversation!

  8. Tanya*

    This could have been me at my last job except I would blow up at home. I worked at a mental institution and blowing up at work while you’re teaching the developmentally disabled that blowing up in the outside world has consequences is just pathetically ironic.

  9. Perfectshinist*

    At my previous job there was a female manager who admitted that she hated her job and was looking for something else. Anyways, she had very unorthodox ways of showing her anger. She once ate my pack of Skittles(about half-full) when I was away from my desk and later explained to me that I had done something wrong and this was her way of teaching me about fiscal management.

    1. Talyssa*

      This made me laugh, did you laugh? I think I would have been laughing in her face – Just wouldn’t be able to control myself if someone told me something that insane.

      1. Perfectshinist*

        No-I didn’t laugh. In fact, I had no emotions during the meeting we had. It was so surreal, I just stared at her trying to figure what to make of the situation. My former co-workers thought it was the greatest thing ever. I never looked at Skittles the same way again.

  10. Anonymous*

    They are not going to have a hard time finding that “role.” There are a lot of tempered women outthere. :)

  11. Anonymous*

    Just last week, we had a brand new temp working for us, and she came to tell me, “The lady in the office next to me is screaming and throwing things. Is this normal around here?” I went down the hall to discover that one of my coworkers had closed her office door, and she was screaming and throwing things – including what sounded like a metal water bottle – at the walls and door. This went on for about 10 minutes.
    I told the temp that it was not normal, and if it is any consolation, she will never, ever, work with or for the crazy woman.
    Not one of our managers has said anything about it in the week since it has happened.

  12. BH*

    Wished I could be the persona of Elinor Dashwoods! I am more like the other sister, Marianne, especially when faced with a supervisor who is unjust and every bit worse than a bitch.
    Some pointers on how-to diffuse such injustice to prevent a blow-up would be helpful.

    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      A Jane Austen reference will get me every time! Without knowing specifics, it’s hard to give targeted advice, but one principle to keep in mind: Go into these encounters knowing that your manager is a jerk, and just expect that as part of the package. Decide not to let her get to you. She’s a jerk, that reflects on her rather than on you, and your job is just to stay calm and keep your ego out of it. Let it roll off your back — just because she has a problem doesn’t mean that you have to!

  13. K.A.*

    Men should really be included.

    I worked on a contract for a large government organization. We had weekly conference calls with the manager for the contract at the government agency. He’d frequently lose his temper and we could hear him tearing up his office. At one point he threw something (our best guess was a coffee mug) and we could hear it break. We started putting the phone on mute during his tirades and making color commentary.

    The odd thing was the few times I met him he seemed like a normal nice guy. It was hard to reconcile his personality in person with the rageaholic we dealt with on the phone.

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