tiny answer Tuesday — 7 short answers to 7 short questions

It’s tiny answer Tuesday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Company offered me a job, then called me back to meet with the owner

I’ve been searching for a job and think I’ve finally found the one that I want and luckily it seems as though they want me too … I think. I have had a phone interview and an in-person interview over the past several weeks and then Friday they called and made a verbal offer. They said they would send over the written offer today or tomorrow (Monday/Tuesday). Today, the person with whom I’ve been interviewing asked me to come in for an interview with the owner. I was caught off guard but offered up my availability. I’m scheduled to meet the owner later this week. I haven’t received the written offer yet. Does that mean they’re re-thinking their decision? What should I expect from meeting with the owner, whom I met once briefly last week, and should I bring up the verbal offer with him?

They should have been clearer with you when they called to ask you to meet with the owner! Since they weren’t, ideally on that call you would have said, “Just to clarify, we’d talked on Friday about you sending over a formal offer. Is that on hold pending this meeting?” Since you that easy window to ask has closed, at this point I would just go to the next meeting and not ask about it (although it’s still your prerogative to call them now and ask) — but either way, assume that there’s no offer yet, since it sounds hazy enough that you shouldn’t rely on it until it’s formalized. Certainly in your meeting with the owner, if it doesn’t become clear what’s going on, before the meeting ends you can ask about it. I’d can say something like, “Can you tell me your timeline for next steps? When I spoke with Jane on Friday, she had offered me the position — but I’m less clear now where things stand in your process.”

2. Company removed my name from my work after I stopped working there

I wrote a bunch of blog posts for a digital marketing agency’s corporate blog while I worked there, and now that I have left, they took my name off of all of the content I contributed. I’m sure they legally own the content, but is it even worth reaching out to them to ask about it? I ask because I work in online marketing and writing relevant blog content is important for my portfolio. It’s probably not worth it, just bummed to have spent the time on writing posts (10+) and not getting any credit.

Sure, you can ask. They do indeed own the content since you produced it as part of your work for them (and in fact they could have chosen not to byline it with your name even while you were employed there), but there’s no harm in asking them. They can say no (and really, a company that removes your byline when you leave probably has some reason for doing it that isn’t going to be reversed by you asking them), but it’s certainly no inappropriate to say something like, “Hey, I’d love to show this work in my portfolio. Is there any way to return my byline to it?”

Keep in mind, though, that even if they say no, you can still include that work in your portfolio because you did indeed produce it.

3. Withdrawing from a hiring process when your interviewer knows your current manager

I just walked out of a second interview for a position and decided that the chemistry just isn’t right and that I want to withdraw my candidacy. Normally I would handle this in the post-meeting thank-you email so that they can quickly move on to other candidates (“thank you for taking the time to meet with me, but the position isn’t right for me at this time,” etc), but there’s a thing. I work fairly frequently with the hiring company in my current capacity. Hell, the hiring manager and my boss are on a first name basis. When I submitted my resume, I did write “resume submitted in confidence, please don’t contact current employer at this time,” and of course I only spoke good things about my current employer, but I’m a little nervous now that I know for sure I don’t want the position.

Should I email them now with my withdrawal or wait and hope they sensed what I did and reject me? If I email them my withdrawal, should I reiterate my need for discretion, or not mention it and hope they’ll be discreet (and bite my fingernails for a few weeks)? As background, the hiring company is a very small one, with no HR department, and my second interview was with the head of the company.

Well, if they’re going to be indiscreet, they’re probably going to do it whether you withdraw or not. So I would proceed however you normally would, and not worry that a withdrawal email is going to send them into a fit of pique that will cause them to tell your boss you applied. Just make sure your email is particularly gracious and doesn’t sound like the decision is because of some failing on their part. If you want to be extra safe, you could even say that your withdrawal is because you’ve decided to stay in your current role, thus mitigating any potential “Jane is job searching” gossip that might be passed on.

4. Boss interrupted me in a meeting

I’m in a job that demands the most of my resources. I’m a pretty good thinker, but I never planned to end up in business analysis, and I’m surrounded by people who have majored in this stuff and gobble it up. It’s challenging, to say the least — and just like people who speak English as a second language, I’m often out to sea when they’re all running ahead. I’m afraid I’m being seen as less competent than I’d like to be. Last week in a meeting, when a particularly tricky analysis was being discussed and it just, just didn’t make sense to me (and thinking of it over the weekend, it still doesn’t, and I’m wondering if maybe I’m right!), I started to voice a train of thought — paused — and right in the middle of it my normally polite boss just picked up and changed the subject. Also, the supervisor has said in meetings, “what Jane is trying to say…” and I’m not the go-to person for answers. But one-on-one I’m fine! It’s scary, and it’s frustrating.

How do you privately address a boss who interrupted you in a meeting and it’s still burning you up??

Hmmm. I think the issue here is less about talking to your boss about interrupting you and more about figuring out the bigger picture here. Is this the right role for you, and the right company? If you’re struggling and not following along in meetings, and your boss has stopped waiting for you to work through your thoughts and you feel less competent than others, these might be signals about overall fit. That means that being irked at your boss is a side issue; the bigger one is what all this stuff is telling you about your long-term success in this role.

If you have good rapport with your boss, it might be worth talking with her about what you’ve noticed and saying that you’re trying to figure out what feedback to take away from these instances. Don’t do this if you’re not prepared for hear fairly critical feedback, because you might … but on the other hand, you might hear that you’re doing fine overall and these thing are minor in the overall scheme of things, and that could give you more peace of mind.

5. Job postings on job boards that aren’t on the company’s own website

Sometimes I come across interesting job postings on external job sites (like Monster), but when I go to that company’s own careers webpage, the position is not listed. The external site prompts users to apply through their own system instead of pointing to the company’s website to apply. Is something like this worth pursuing? Or is something sketchy/unreliable about it? Any idea of what’s going on here?

It often means that the position is no longer open, but the external job sites haven’t removed it. However, sometimes it means that the company didn’t post the position on their own site and is relying solely on external sites to advertise it. This could be because they don’t post any jobs on their site (some places don’t) or because they’re not publicizing the site internally yet (because someone doesn’t know they’re leaving yet, for example). It’s hard to know from the outside which it is, unfortunately.

6. Addressing spiritual requirements in a cover letter

If a job description (for a religious higher ed institution) lists “Spiritual Requirements,” do I need to address these in my cover letter? I don’t think I’m exactly the religious person they are looking for (although I do think I’m a good fit for the actual position, which has nothing to do with religion), but would rather apply and see if I get to the interview stage before addressing it (where I would be honest about my personal religious views if they asked). Does this seem like a bad idea?

Nope. You’re under no obligation to address any particular requirement in your cover letter, unless they specifically tell you to.

7. Books for new managers

I start a new IT job in 2 weeks where I will be managing a small team of technical people. I’ve managed project teams and technical teams, but direct people management will be new to me. I’m so excited and really want to be a success. I’m engaging with an HR leadership coach. I also wanted to do some reading on my own. I’ve heard good things about “First Break All the Rules.” Are there others you or your readers would recommend?

Well, there’s mine — which, uh, is awesome. It’s geared toward nonprofit managers, but 95% of what’s in there applies to managers in every field, and I wish I could make it required reading.

{ 54 comments… read them below }

  1. -X-*

    On #2 – the OP should also look back to see if there was a written agreement or contract for the work, and if it mentions bylines. If it did, then that should be followed.

    And consider getting such an agreement in the future.

    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      And consider getting such an agreement in the future.

      Insisting on a written agreement for future bylines on a handful of blog posts is likely to negatively impact your standing with your employer. You work there, you write content for them, they own it. That’s pretty normal.

      1. fposte*

        Yup. It’s the “work for hire” doctrine, and we wouldn’t be able to work with anyone who wanted to retain their own separate rights. (We’re happy to let people include the work in their portfolios, of course.)

        1. -X-*

          I don’t think I said “insist” – I meant try. And in particular, if they have bylines while paying you, it’s quite possible that you can get them to keep that on forever.

          It’s something to try to get. If it’s a dealbreaker on the other side, then probably let it go. But as with everything, ask.

          My organization employs a writer who gets a byline. And we just agreed to pay another writer (not online though) for something where she asked for certain other rights that were no skin off our back, so we agreed.

          “You work there, you write content for them, they own it. That’s pretty normal.”

          There is a huge array of arrangements that it’s not accurate to call any one in particular one “normal” – “most common” is more accurate. And I don’t think it’s appropriate to try to make one accepted as normal just because it may be the most common.

          Agreements about bylines are not agreements about ownership. It’s quite possible to give one party ownership with agreement to include a byline from the other.

          Also to Fposte, “Work for hire” describes what happens in the absence of other, more specific agreements. It doesn’t mean that other more specific agreements are not possible. They are, and are made all the time.

          1. Ask a Manager* Post author

            My point is that in many contexts, even asking for this would be something that would negatively impact how you were seen. If an employee asked me for a written agreement that her bylines be kept on all her work in the future, I’d think she was naive at best and a pain in the ass at worst. And that’s true even if I was already planning on keeping her byline there — I don’t want to deal with a contract that obligates me to do that when it’s not a typical part of how this stuff works with employees.

            You’re paid a salary to produce work for the organization, after which it’s theirs. You can say you’d love a byline, sure, but asking for a contract governing it (when you’re already an employee) is too much, for most contexts.

          2. fposte*

            Sure, they’re made. But they’re considerably less common than work for hire, and most places that publish content don’t find it advantageous to deviate from work for hire. Even asking to have a different rights agreement would raise eyebrows in my field.

            1. -X-*

              So AAM, if you’re already on staff, what’s the risk of asking about it? That you’ll get canned or taken off the that role?

              And if you’re not on salary – that is to say, you’re a contractor – then you probably signing a contract anyway and it’s worth bringing it up just as you’d bring up pay.

              “raise eyebrows”

              Looking after oneself sometimes does.

              1. Ask a Manager* Post author

                It will impact the way you’re seen / your reputation. That has very real ramifications, including assignments, opportunities, promotions, raises, etc.

                It’s not “looking after yourself” to pursue something that’s not standard in your field, isn’t a matter of fundamental fairness, and will likely harm you in the future.

  2. AdAgencyChick*

    #2 — Whether your byline is there or not, count the work in your portfolio! If you are relying on links, though, I’d recommend taking screenshots or making PDFs so you have them for your files if the company ever takes the site down or removes or edits any of your posts. (This would also have helped with keeping your byline visible, but too late for that, unfortunately.)

    #3 — Oh dear. OP, maybe it’s because I’ve been burned, but I have a strong suspicion the hiring manager is going to tell your boss. Not necessarily out of deliberate malice (“Fine, well if we can’t have OP, I’m going to get back by ratting OP out!”) but rather because, now that she no longer needs to worry about pissing you off, she may chatter to your boss about it as a way of strengthening her relationship with your boss at your expense. It’s still a crappy thing to do to somebody, but it happens (and it happened to me, although not in the exact context you’re in).

    I wonder if it might not be worth your while to call the hiring manager personally to decline the offer. That way you can drop in some phrases like “I’ve decided to stay where I am [whether or not it’s true], and I’m glad I get to continue working with you as a (vendor, client, whatever),” and “I know you are Wakeen are friends, but he doesn’t know I interviewed with you, and since I’m not going anywhere, I just wanted to ask that we keep it that way” — to perhaps induce your interviewer’s sense of conscience. I think it’s easier for your interviewer to forget that you’re a human being who deserves consideration if you send an email than if she hears your voice.

    1. Evan the College Student*

      Great suggestion about the screenshots or PDF’s. You might want to check the Internet Archive to see if they have the old version with your byline still up.

    2. Angry Writer*

      Taking screen shots and making PDFs is exactly what I’d recommend (and have done), too. My last employer not only took my name off of my blog posts (2.5 years worth), but they changed my name to my boss’ name (who currently works there), so I guess he might try taking credit for my years of work in the future, too. It is lame but you don’t own the work, although you did produce it and can and should use it as your clips.

    3. OP#2*

      Thanks for the PDFs suggestion – that’s a great idea. The weird thing is, they removed my name from my posts but not others who have also left the company.

      1. Angry Writer*

        OP, I have found time and time again that this sorta thing can almost always be chalked up to ineptness rather than intention. I feel you though.

  3. Rachel in Minneapolis*

    #6 If the job has spiritual requirements that you don’t agree with, I don’t think it is the right job for you. I’ve been on hiring committee for religious higher ed places, where the board of the institution sets spiritual requirements. It has been SO frustrating for both job seekers and hiring people to have a candidate make it to the final round, and then be asked about their spiritual beliefs, only to find out they are not a viable candidate. I lobbied for asking that question in the phone screening, but to no avail. Our top 6 candidates were all disqualified on this basis, because they all thought the requirement was flexible when it was not.

    I would definitely ask the question in an initial interview or phone screening as to the spiritual requirements. In many places it is mandatory for all employees to go to certain churches, agree with certain belief statements, etc. It is worth asking if it is a preference or a requirement.

    1. College Career Counselor*

      Absolutely agree on this. The mere phrase “Spiritual Requirements” is a huge signal about the culture of the organization (whether or not it turns out to be flexible). They’re asking you to learn as much about the culture of the institution as you can and to compare it to your own values and requirements for the type of place you can work in. Sometimes this is as simple as “do you feel you can support the general Jesuit principles of this institution” and sometimes it’s as explicit as asking new hires to sign a morality pledge not to engage in drinking, smoking, pre-marital sex, etc.

      If it were me, I’d ask for some clarification/example of what they mean by “spiritual requirements” because I wouldn’t want to work at a place where there was a potential values conflict (values conflicts are a recipe for unhappy employees and ticked-off employers) and would want to be respectful of everyone’s time. Although, it occurs to me that if you have to ask, some places might decide to exclude you on that basis alone.

    2. SevenSixOne*

      Agreed. This liberal nonbeliever got a job in an office where everyone else was conservative and Christian. I managed to dodge questions for quite a while, but eventually the cracks started to show. I hated feeling like this essential part of who I am was some shameful secret that I had to keep a lid on for fear of being seen as an Outsider– it was like high school all over again.

      1. EngineerGirl*

        But why was it a shameful secret? You should always be open about who you are so that any issues with cultural fit are addressed right up front. That is true with any organization, but more so in a religious place where your entire world view is influenced by what you believe.

    3. Chinook*

      I also agree about spiritual requirements being a sign of the culture you will be working with. To use the dating analogy, would you want to date someone who’s spiritual believe are counter to yours?

      1. fposte*

        I don’t think it’s that (which I’ve done and have no problem with, so long as we’re open with each other)–it’s pretending you share somebody’s faith because otherwise they won’t date you.

        1. Victoria Nonprofit*

          Right. Because if you both are down with the difference, that can be a fruitful exploration.

        2. Chinook*

          I think you need to look at the job with a spiritual requirement the same way – if you are both willing to accept the difference, no harm, no foul. But there is definitely wrong about pretending about your faith just to get a job.

    4. AdjunctForNow*

      I’m shocked that they wouldn’t go along with asking earlier in the process. I applied for adjunct jobs at three religious institutions: one sent me the morality pledge up front (and I laughed so hard I almost cried), one discussed it in the initial phone screen, and made it clear that it wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for an adjunct position, but I would never be a fit for tenure-track, and the third never said anything about it at any point, because they obviously don’t care. I took positions at the second and third.

    5. just me*

      Agreed. The pure fact that you are saying you are not the religious person they are looking for should be a signal to yourself that it might not be the right job.

      It should be treated no different then any other qualification for a job. Even though you feel you are qualified for the job duties you might not fit the culture and belief structure. They talk about spiritual requirements for a reason and it is obviously important to them.

    6. Laura L*

      I do the opposite: I assume the any religious/spiritual/moral requirements are non-negotiable. And then I don’t apply. But that’s me.

      I wonder why people assume they are optional?

  4. Jamie*

    I know a thing or two about IT and I cannot recommend Alison’s book enough. TBH I usually prefer to read stuff written with technical people in mind just because I like to pretend we’re the only people in the world – but for the management stuff that really is universal get Alison’s book – just overlook the non-profit in the title…it applies just as much for us mercenaries in the profit world as well. :)

    I’d also recommend Jeff Ello’s “The Unspoken Truth About Managing Geeks.” It may well be one of my favorite articles of all time and I re-read it more than I’d care to admit. http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9137708/Opinion_The_unspoken_truth_about_managing_geeks

    It’s a really good look at how others see us within the organization and IME dead right.

    I also like this Q&A on Type A personalities and stress in IT. http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9002504/Q_A_Type_A_personalities_long_hours_contribute_to_IT_stress_says_CIO

    Protect your people – protect them from others in the organization and help them protect themselves from burnout.

    And congrats and just remember that “respect is the currency of the realm” and you’ll be just fine.

    1. Athlum*

      [Jeff Ello’s “The Unspoken Truth About Managing Geeks”]

      Oh heck yeah! I actually printed this essay out and gave a copy of it to my first manager, haha. Made for much more productive meetings.

      …speaking of, OP #7 may also appreciate “Maker’s Schedule, Manager’s Schedule” by Paul Graham as a good way not to irk his reports: http://www.paulgraham.com/makersschedule.html

  5. Jane*

    #7 Get the book, The First-Time Manager by Loren B. Belker and Gary S. Topchik. And continue reading this blog!

    1. Jamie*

      Second the blog advice – hit the archives and read everything.

      Entertaining and good for you – you can’t beat that.

      1. class factotum*

        I am reading “How to Run Any Organization,” by Theodore Caplow. I don’t know if I heard about it on this website. I am only one chapter into it, but I like it. It’s very blunt, practical advice about how politics work in organizations. It’s an old book, not in print anymore, I don’t think. There are some used copies on amazon. I got my copy at the libary.

        From a blog review:

        For the Karate instructor who follows the articles on this site regarding how to manage a business, this book is an excellent start. Caplow’s book begins with the manager who takes over an organization and gives step by step advice as to how to establish authority, communication, productivity, morale, and change. Caplow’s book was written in 1974, but this does not take away from its authoritative nature. Most everything ever written about the topic of management that is worth reading was authored before 1980.


  6. Victoria Nonprofit*

    #4: I noticed the “one-on-one I’m fine” and it made me wonder if there’s some introvert/extrovert conflict happening here. I’m an introvert (although I’m outgoing and nobody ever believes me when I tell them this!), and I don’t perform well in the pressure of a large, boisterous meeting. I always feel caught off my feet, a step behind everyone, like my tongue is a little too slow and heavy, my wit isn’t up to par – even when I’m the expert or most senior person in the room.

    If this sounds true for you too, I don’t have any great advice about this, unfortunately, other than using the skills in which you excel to compensate: Come prepared (even to a casual brainstorming meeting) with written-down ideas and analysis, follow up after a meeting with additional thinking you’ve done at your desk, decide to be the person who asks the critical questions that force everyone to pause and reconsider. Find a role that works for you!

    1. Jamie*

      I agree with being prepared – and I’m curious if the OP likes the analysis part of the job. I understand she feels tossed in the deep end, but the first thing to do is figure out if it’s even a pool you want to swim in.

      If so, learn the language. If someone came to a meeting about analysis and didn’t know what a CBA or ROI was – or the specifics of whatever measurable we were discussing, the meeting wouldn’t be the time for a tutorial on that. If it’s the actual statistic methodology than Statistics for Dummies is a good place to start. I know, I hate the titles of those things, because basically it’s just cliff notes but it can be a good place to go to see if it’s something that bores you silly or something you want to learn more. If you want more a lot of colleges offer stats classes online – I’d lobby for training.

      I would decide if it’s a race you want to run or not. If not, then make plans to transition out but if you want to stay in it I’d put some concrete plans in place to get up to speed.

  7. Sr Recruiter*

    #5 I hire for a very large company. Once a Hiring Manager identifies a need to hire, she will submit the request through an approval chain. The position will not post on our web site until all of the approvers sign off on it; it will often take a week or so. While that process is taking place, I’ll advertise the position myself on a job board to start reviewing resumes. Once the job is officially approved and posted on our web site, I’ll contact the top candidates from the resumes I collected to apply. So there is a gap of a week or two where people can find my advertisement on a job board, but not on the company site.

  8. KayDay*

    #4: Meetings

    Hmm, I’m not sure if this question is representative of how you express yourself at work (I absolutely express myself less formally here than I do at work), but if it is, maybe you just need to work on your communication style. Your boss may have interrupted you because your comment was taking too long or getting off topic.

    This question here was all over the place—in the course of a paragraph you made the following points:
    1. Your job is challenging because it’s not what you originally trained in, so you are not confident in your work
    2. You described a specific scenario where your boss interrupted you
    3. Your supervisor has needed to clarify your comments in the past
    4. You are better at expressing your thoughts (related to your work) one-on-one instead of in groups
    5. You are still peeved about being interrupted

    In addition to providing a bit too much information, the background information you gave does not match the question you asked. It sounded like you were framing a question about your overall ability, and instead you asked a question about handling a specific incident with your boss. This really confused me as the reader.

    At the next meeting, try to focus on keeping your comments focused on a single point. If people need more clarification, they will ask for it. Your business communication should be “newspaper style” not “novel style,” i.e. give the key information first, and follow up with details if needed.

    (BTW, I say this as someone who really has to make a conscious effort to follow the advice above and not to share any and everything I know related to a subject.)

    1. Victoria Nonprofit*

      Huh. While your point might be totally valid (and effective communication is certainly an important skill) I thought the letter was clear and engagingly written.

      1. Anita*

        Yes, the question was engaging, but KayDay has a good point. OP’s question was all over the place. If we were talking in person (like, in a meeting) I might have had a hard time figuring out what the OP was asking/saying. Reading it is fine, but I personally find it difficult to understand people who talk all over the place.

        1. Victoria Nonprofit*

          I guess I disagree that it was “all over the place.” She gave us context and posed her question. The question might not be the right one (i.e., that problem at hand isn’t really that the boss interrupted her, but rather that she’s not sure if she’s contributing the way her boss wants her to be contributing), but her writing was clear.

    2. perrik*

      Agreed. If you’re the sort of person who delves into background information to get a broad ecological view of a situation, it may take a concerted effort to focus on just one specific tree when you think it’s important that they also be aware of the forest, the effect of soil acidity on tree root development, how photosynthesis works, and the role of the logging industry in the state’s long-term economic vitality.

      Um, not that I’m like this.

      If you’re going to discuss information available before the meeting, try writing down your comments ahead of time. This gives you a chance to edit your thoughts on paper and pare them down to salient talking points. Once you get used to doing that, you should have an easier time doing it on the fly with new data that comes up during the meeting.

  9. KatieinCC*

    #7. Get Allisons book. Get it. I was promoted to management from front line staff because I was good at my job – and had no idea how to manage people. I read a bunch of books – and am totally not knocking them – but Managing to Change the World was definitely the most practical and directly applicable. A lot of the books that I read give you great ideas, but don’t tell you HOW to … fill in the blank (delegate effectively, hire well, etc.) I still use it. I made my boss and all of the other managers in my department read it. I think that we are a more effective department because of it. I *know* that I’m a better manager because of it.

    I also liked a lot of the managertools.com podcasts, although I don’t really listen to a lot of podcasts, so I can’t speak for all of them.

  10. from OP#3*

    So I ended up emailing her thank you (with “not a good fit” as the reason), and emphasizing that I’m looking forward to working with her company in the future.

    BUT I wish I had picked “staying at my current position” as a reason instead, like Alison suggested (and which is actually very likely), as when the hiring company very graciously replied to my withdrawal, they alluded to the fact that I might have been overqualified for their purposes (ack!).

    Now (three days later, as I was out-of-state until yesterday evening) I’m biting my nails wondering if I should respond with something in the realm of ‘it’s not [them], it’s me!’ just in case, or just let it go?

    ….I really wish job-hunting didn’t feel like dating. I hate dating.


    1. My take*

      In your place, I’d consider replying to the last email you got with something like this:

      “I do hope you will find the right candidate to fill this position, and look forward continuing to interact with you as part of the duties of my current position, which I concluded is the right place for me to stay at this point in my career.”

      (That may help reduce the risk of the hiring manager mentioning to your current boss that you have been job hunting.)

    2. AdjunctForNow*

      I think you are just fine. No hiring manager wants to get a reputation for breaking this type of confidence; it would burn a bridge with you and possibly other good candidates in the future.

      ALSO: I don’t think that a reasonable manager should be that upset that you dipped your toes in the job search waters. You looked at what else was out there, decided things were good where you are, and made the decision to stay. I don’t know if your manager is reasonable, but personally, networking and/or looking around a bit is not a crime.

  11. AB*

    OP #7, in addition to books, I’d strongly recommend the resources from http://manager-tools.com

    I’m in IT too and find their advice spot on. Do what they recommend and I’m sure your subordinates (and superiors) will be very happy with your performance.

  12. user name and link redacted due to spamming*

    You ought to be a part of a contest for one of the
    greatest blogs on the net. I most certainly will recommend this blog!

    1. fposte*

      Gosh, it’s funny that somebody whose username linked to a commercial had this exact same thought about several other blogs too.

      1. Nancie*

        I think it’s particularly funny since Alison posted just two days ago that askamanager won Best Topical Blog in the Bloggies.

  13. Chinook*

    Another book to read is “Leadership” by Rick Hillier. He is a retired general and he took his experience as a respected Chief of Defence in Canada and applied his ideas to business. This man is a Newfoundland who had a no nonsense view of leadership and changed how things were done and really knows how to focus on “the man on the ground.” I know men who worked directly with him and never heard a bad word about his style.

  14. Kou*

    One possibility is that she thought you were done. Depending on where you’re from and what you’re used to, people expect different amounts of silence between speakers.

  15. Rixter*

    #7 Alison people will think I was giving you a softball question to prop up book sales. LoL. I had no idea about the book but will now check it out. Thanks everyone for the other suggestions too. I will be busy for the next while I’m sure. Right now I’m in the middle of ‘Good Boss Bad Boss’ and it’s not bad. Read First 90 Days already and that was helpful to. So much good material, so little time…

    1. Michael Shane Barnes*

      I would also recommend the book “Difficult Conversations” by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen. It is not work/management specific, but it is definitely one of the books that I have found most helpful.

      1. EM*

        This one is on the shelf in my company library (a couple of bookshelves lining a hall at my office).

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