Ask a Manager in the media

Here’s a round-up of Ask a Manager in the media recently, in case you’re interested in checking any of this out:

* I talked to the New York Times about why office friendships can feel so awkward (this piece was written by Melissa Dahl, author of the wonderful Cringeworthy)

* Fast Company listed the new Ask a Manager book as a summer beach read that will make you happier at work, and Business Insider listed it as one of the 10 best business books of the year so far.

* I talked to Grow about how to earn more money.

* I talked to Vice about how annoying job application follow-up emails are.

* I was on Minnesota Public Radio (radio) talking about workplace conflict.

* I answered work questions on KPCC’s AirTalk.

* I was on Career Talk with Dawn Graham answering work questions (and winning a sports trivia quiz, which is inexplicable).

* I was on the Resources for Humans podcast talking about awkward conversations.

* I was on the Moments with Marianne radio show (SiriusXM).

* I was on the eCommerce Fuel podcast (and there’s a transcript at the link).

{ 22 comments… read them below }

  1. hayling*

    Thanks for all the links! I like hearing your interviews. And of course I am enjoying your podcast tremendously. I like the updated intro and bumpers! Does this mean you’re doing the podcast for the long haul?

  2. Someone101*

    Fantastic! I find the AAM blog such addictive reading and I enjoy the articles and podcasts. I always wonder how you find the time to cram everything in! Do you find that with your success you still manage to keep a good work/life balance? I hope you don’t find this question intrusive, I just ask as I’m not from America and it might just be the time difference but you always seem to be working non stop!

    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      It’s not intrusive! And the answer is … no, my work/life balance sucks, and I’m working way too much! It’s been like that for years (partly for the reasons I talked about in the recent post on freelancer terror), but I’d just been getting it under control (by jettisoning some clients) when things exploded this year. So now I’m back to trying to figure out how to get it under control again. There was a period earlier this year where I didn’t have a full day off for months, not even on weekends, and I have resolved not to let that happen again. I am taking a full day off this weekend and am very excited about it.

      1. Someone101*

        Thank you so much for your reply! It must be so hard, trying to find some sort of balance. I guess on the plus side it’s worth it in the sense that it’s hugely rewarding for you as opposed to being overworked in a dead end job; however of course it’s still extremely draining. (Im a glass half full kind of person!) I really hope you manage to find a happy medium soon and that you have a fantastic day off this weekend!

  3. Merida Ann*

    I was flipping radio channels in the car yesterday and heard John Tesh discussing points from your book about outdated job-searching advice during the “Intelligence for Your Life” segment!

  4. GovSysadmin*

    The article about work friendships really resonated with me – I have one coworker that I’m good friends with, and I kind of dread situations where I have to give him directions or criticism at work. I already saw that with our current manager; he started as a peer, but when he was promoted, it did change the relationship – he’s still friendly, but not a close friend. My closest friend who works in my organization works for a completely separate department, and we’ve never been direct coworkers. I think that’s what’s allowed us to stay such close friends.

    That said, one of the most powerful ideas I’ve been exposed to in the past year is the simple “assume positive intent”. I’ve been trying to think of that when there have been more tense moments or disagreements at work, and it does change your whole outlook.

    1. Emily K*

      +1 on assuming positive intent!

      Along those lines I have a rule about how, when something a colleague is running seems to be broken or confusing or not doing what I need it to do, I write the email in a way that assumes I don’t understand well enough instead of assuming the other person set something up wrong.

      Way less potential for embarrassment when you email, “Can you show me how to do X in your system?” rather than, “Your system won’t let me do X!” The latter might be true, but if it is, the former question will reveal it with less hostility and generally yield a helpful resolution. And a lot of times it turns out that X *could* be done, and I avoided implying someone else was stupid when in reality I was the stupid one.

  5. Polymer Phil*

    Work situations are so temporary this day in age that friendships with current coworkers are usually relatively new, and can last long after the next reorg or job change. It’s weird that once-popular social activities with coworkers like softball leagues and happy hours are nearly dead now, when the potential downsides of mixing work and friendship were much worse in the days of working at one company for life.

  6. beanie beans*

    I am impressed with how much you accomplish with this site! And still have time to read a boatload of books to recommend to us on top of it!

  7. Hannah*

    Work friendships are such an interesting phenomenon. I’m trying to develop a friendship with someone with whom I work closely, and I find the most challenging part is I’m never really 100% sure she really feels the friendship the same way I do. Meaning, I think she is really awesome and I really want to be her friend, and so I try to do the normal things that people do when trying to be someone’s friend, like asking her out for a drink on the weekend. We’ve hung out a few times, but there’s this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that she is only participating in the friendship because if she said to me “actually, I don’t want to be outside-of-work friends,” it might be awkward at work, and we not only work together, but we often work together just the two of us.

    Maybe it’s my own jerk-brain that puts all these doubts in my head, but the backdrop of work dynamics doesn’t help. I try to be extra-chill about my invitations and try not to put pressure on her to say yes, because really I want her to WANT to be my friend, not make her feel like she has to be.

  8. lavender gooms*

    The work friendship article is really good. My childhood best friend/current roommate and I were coworkers, and now she’s my boss. Our friendship is a huge strength in a lot of ways, but it’s obviously weird to navigate at times.

  9. ThatsMyStapler*

    This is simply the best resource I’ve ever found for guidance around work/office culture issues. Thank you. Not sure how I would have survived the past six months without it!

  10. Bossy Magoo*

    Did you talk to Minnesota Public Radio about new American hero #MPRRaccoon? I’m slightly obsessed STILL.

  11. Sleepy Librarian*

    This is wonderful! In a webinar I recently gave, a listener asked how to advance in their field and take risks when they have people around them at work saying negative things, and I sent them straight to AAM for lots of great scripts.

    The work friend thing resonated with me, too. I had a close friend I worked closely with (she even gave a speech at my wedding) but after we didn’t work together anymore the friendship kind of fell apart. It was like we needed that daily forced contact to sustain it. And yep, it was definitely more draining to do my job when I had to worry about hurting a friend’s feelings. Now I have no friends in my immediate unit and that’s a good thing. Nice, mutually respectful, and even fun work relationships, but no friends. I have friends at work, but they don’t work directly with me. It’s so much better.

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