Comments on: updates: the micromanagement, the fertility treatments, and more https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html Wed, 20 Jan 2021 03:37:50 +0000 hourly 1 By: Faith the twilight slayer https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3249927 Wed, 20 Jan 2021 03:37:50 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3249927 In reply to Roy G. Biv.

I know plenty of people who still get side-eye after taking time off for illness. I guarantee people who would still require folks to work even when they’re sick are rabid conspiracy theorists who secretly believe covid is either fake or was intentionally sent here.

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By: Faith the twilight slayer https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3249924 Wed, 20 Jan 2021 03:32:33 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3249924 In reply to OP.

Perhaps you can get some of that nail polish people could buy to deter folks from biting their nails? It’s not toxic but I hear it’s either really spicy or just plain disgusting. I’m so sorry. Just thinking about what your boss does is making my skin crawl

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By: raincoaster https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3248123 Mon, 18 Jan 2021 06:07:30 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3248123 In reply to OP.

Was the test positive? Here’s hoping that if it was you escape most of the symptoms and heal quickly enough to interview for good jobs soon.

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By: Dina https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3246880 Sat, 16 Jan 2021 00:29:07 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3246880 In reply to CoveredInBees.

Seconding this advice. It’s not a good place to be!

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By: whyyyeeee https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3245108 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 20:24:42 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3245108 In reply to MJ.

it hasn’t yet

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By: whyyyeeee https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3245107 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 20:23:02 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3245107 In reply to OP.

oh lord this is nightmarish

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By: LogicalOne https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244967 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 19:13:59 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244967 #3. LEAVE and find a new job. Enough said.

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By: Persephone Mongoose https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244928 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 19:00:48 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244928 In reply to Lizard.

Candidate for Worst Boss of the Year AGAIN — he was nominated last year!! I’ve no doubt he’ll eventually be a contender for Worst Boss of the Decade in 2029!

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By: JustaTech https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244783 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 17:40:45 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244783 In reply to OP.

Teeth marks!? What is he, a giant guinea pig?
I’ll admit I’m bad about holding things in my mouth when I’m knitting, but those are my things and then I wash them!

If there’s one thing working in a lab with human blood will cure you of right fast, it’s putting pens in your mouth.

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By: JustaTech https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244746 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 17:26:15 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244746 In reply to SMH.

I’d be tempted to order some biohazard waste bags to throw away stuff, but then you’d have to *actually* dispose of it as biohazardous waste, which is really expensive (it has to be incinerated). On the other hand, that would certainly make the point!

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By: Angry Birds https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244579 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 16:29:57 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244579 In reply to Letter #1.

That’s more than a lack of understanding of how 1 particular organization works. Has she ever had a real job before?

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By: OP https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244480 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 15:43:09 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244480 In reply to allathian.

Yes, I hide all my office supplies in plain sight. The other update I sent in has info about that. I put all my pens and things like that in an empty Clorox wipes container. He’d never touch that in a million years. He says arthritis in his hands is the reason for putting paper in his mouth. Makes no sense to me. It’s beyond gross. If I ever get anything with teeth marks on it, I give it back. I put a binder clip on it to hold it…I won’t even touch it.

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By: OP https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244473 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 15:38:29 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244473 In reply to Keymaster of Gozer.

That thought crossed my mind, too. We work in a pretty small town and he goes everywhere – post office, restaurants, the gym, you name it. No telling how many others he’s infected.

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By: Miss Pantalones En Fuego https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244306 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 12:09:25 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244306 In reply to Lynn.

That was really baffling. Every job I’ve ever had, no matter the industry, has always had other background work that I could do when I wasn’t immediately engaged. No customers in the store? Clean and restock. Nobody in the restaurant? Work on prepping for the dinner shift. No calls in the queue? Work on the incoming mail. This is bonkers.

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By: Keymaster of Gozer https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244300 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 12:02:27 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244300 In reply to Roci.

Given that he’s categorically been proven to have no sense of hygiene; how many others has he spread Covid to? I hope they’re getting through it ok too :(

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By: embertine https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244279 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 10:57:32 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244279 In reply to GirlfromIpanema.

It’s really odd, isn’t it? Having a workload that you can adjust around meetings doesn’t mean you’re doing nothing unless you’re in a meeting. Perhaps having pointless meetings was literally all this manager was doing herself all day?

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By: pandop https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244264 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 10:05:10 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244264 In reply to Roy G. Biv.

My former team leader was one of those – hardly ever called in sick, hardly ever took anything to make himself get better sooner either. I can only hope that as he left us for a promotion he now has his own office, otherwise I pity his new colleagues.

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By: MJ https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244234 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 08:17:36 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244234 In reply to Analytical Tree Hugger.

We shouldn’t have to rely on diversity of leadership or multiple perspectives when good old (if they ever were) decency, compassionate, and humanity should suffice.

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By: allathian https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244231 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 08:11:13 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244231 In reply to OP.

Well, at least the mask will stop him chewing on your stuff. But honestly, that habit is really gross. I wonder how he justifies it to himself? (Rhetorical question, no way to find out.)

Have you been able to figure out a way to lock up your supplies so he won’t chew on them anymore when you’re not there?

Fingers and toes crossed for a speedy and complete recovery and a successful job search when you do recover.

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By: allathian https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244229 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 08:06:49 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244229 In reply to tangerineRose.

In an office this would be entirely reasonable, but they were working in a furniture warehouse.

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By: allathian https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244221 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 07:56:18 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244221 In reply to OP.

Good luck! I sure hope that losing your sense of smell for a while is/was the worst of it and that you’ll find a new job soon.

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By: allathian https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244220 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 07:52:56 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244220 In reply to Derp.

Congrats indeed! I’m so glad she has a supportive manager!

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By: Working Hypothesis https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244193 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 06:27:56 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244193 In reply to OP.

So glad to hear you’re getting well!

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By: Working Hypothesis https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244191 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 06:26:35 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244191 In reply to OP.

I’m relieved that you’re looking elsewhere, because you should absolutely not have to deal with this guy ever again!! I don’t know exactly how long ago you sent Alison that update — obviously after the start of January but it could be a day or two weeks by now. But I reallyreally hope that you’re either all well again by now or very soon will be.

Best wishes!

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By: Working Hypothesis https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244189 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 06:23:30 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244189 In reply to Arts Akimbo.

Seconded!! This is absolutely beyond the pale.

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By: Roci https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244183 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 06:10:06 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244183 In reply to Ryn.

The issue wasn’t “I don’t want to work with them”, it was that OP’s proposed plan of action was to stand facing away from them with their arms and legs crossed. Not exactly COVID-proof.

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By: Roci https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244182 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 06:08:51 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244182 In reply to OP.

I’m so glad you’re recovering. Unfortunately your boss is a disgusting animal and it was only a matter of time before he gave you COVID (or worse, honestly). Hope you can find a better job with humans and sanitation standards.

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By: OP https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244121 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 03:27:03 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244121 In reply to RedinSC.

Thank you. I did test positive and had a somewhat mild case. I still don’t have my sense of smell and taste back. I’ve recovered for the most part, working only half days. And if the lingering fatigue gets the best of me, I go home. He knows he did this and doesn’t dare say anything to me about when I leave. I won’t even acknowledge him now unless he has on a mask.

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By: OP https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244120 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 03:21:33 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244120 In reply to SMH.

You read my mind @SMH

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By: Letter #1 https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244088 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 01:48:07 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244088 In reply to I’m just here for the cats..

We had a shared calendar where we could all share our schedules and availability, and she never used it!

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By: Letter #1 https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244087 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 01:46:45 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244087 In reply to Where’s the Orchestra?.

She came from a long history in non profit, we are also a non profit, but this was her first leadership position.

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By: Anony-Mouse https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244077 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 01:02:49 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244077 In reply to OP.

Glad you’re recovering! I can’t help but think that your boss is putting himself at risk too. Ie, he probably does this when he’s out and about (getting groceries, etc) and did this to himself.

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By: ..Kat.. https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244062 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 00:13:10 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244062 In reply to OP.

I hop your job provides you with good health insurance and plenty of sick leave.

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By: Arts Akimbo https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244052 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 23:51:05 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244052 In reply to Aggretsuko.

I move that OP #3’s boss be REnominated for the Worst Boss of the Year in 2021, seeing that he probably gave them COVID!

I’m so upset for you, OP#3, and I hope you have an easy and speedy recovery!

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By: Jules the First https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244014 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 22:44:02 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244014 In reply to Amlan Gupta.

I think you’re setting up something of a straw man here. As someone who is, like the OP, now pregnant after fertility treatment, it is genuinely useful to have a manager who viscerally understands how physically debilitating it can be, in much the same way that I’d imagine it would be easier to deal with a prostate cancer diagnosis with a male boss who’d also had it. It’s less about gender and more about how useful it is to broaden the base of human experience in your management team. For the record, I have split reporting with one male manager and one female one, both of whom have been wonderfully supportive…but the senior partner who kicked off when I left a late-running meeting in order to make it to my appointment was a man and the senior partner (same age, same number of offspring) who went to war on him in my defence was…a woman.

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By: Analytical Tree Hugger https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244013 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 22:42:03 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244013 In reply to Amlan Gupta.

*Face palm*

Ya’ll, this is the “not all [fill in the blank] are like that” when someone who has a history of being oppressed, suppressed, misrepresented, misunderstood, etc. says “This is a thing that happened.”

Yes, it’s great that you would be supportive. Seriously, you rock.

That doesn’t change the fact that TOO MANY PEOPLE WOULD NOT BE because they don’t have the shared experience and wouldn’t think to ask the right questions. Having diverse leadership helps those people who don’t understand what you do identify their blindspots (sometimes) because now it’s their peers or seniors who are bringing that perspective. And that matters because we all have blindspots.

Signed,
A cis-man

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By: Lizard https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244006 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 22:33:02 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244006 OP 3: Candidate for worst boss of the year? Suspecting (probably rightfully) that your boss gave you COVID is pretty bad, in my opinion. I am stunned at the level of grossness the OP has had to endure.

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By: Analytical Tree Hugger https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3244001 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 22:30:26 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3244001 In reply to Jessica will remember in November.

Haha, I love the leprechauns imagery.

This reminds me of an episode of the 90’s cartoon, KaBlam!, that made fun of executives and how all they did was take naps in their office while their EA’S told everyone they were in meetings all day.

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By: comityoferrors https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3243992 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 22:18:54 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3243992 In reply to MassMatt.

Yup. I actually do log and/or plan my work on my calendar most days because it helps me stay organized, but I’ve had periods (days or sometimes weeks) where I don’t keep my calendar up-to-date. My boss has never doubted that I’m working on those days, to my face at least. I’d be pretty mad if she did! I know she looks at my calendar and it helps her get a sense of what I’m doing, but ultimately it’s her job to determine my productivity *through my work output*, not my calendar.

I’m jealous that the ED managed to get her role with, apparently, no actual work experience to inform her choices.

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By: Zephy https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3243990 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 22:16:26 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3243990 In reply to Cercis.

I usually phrase it as “I have some availability,” but most of my job is external client meetings and my clients are young people who don’t know how scheduling appointments works, so they force me to make the first move in the dance of Guess My Schedule.

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By: Considered Secularist https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3243987 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 22:07:55 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3243987 In reply to Amlan Gupta.

I had the same reaction. Super thrilled for OP #2, very glad she has a supportive manager, could easily see that manager being male. Both my current and my just previous male managers would have been equally supportive in the circumstances.

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By: Roy G. Biv https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3243983 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 21:58:50 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3243983 In reply to ‘Tis Me.

Chronic allergy and asthma sufferer here, as well. The throat clearing and dry cough almost never lets up. I was thinking of the coworkers I have had who just would NOT take a sick day, despite generous PTO, and were clearly glassy-eyed with fever, coughing all over the place.

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By: tangerineRose https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3243979 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 21:55:50 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3243979 In reply to Ryn.

I think the general thought on the person who wanted to shun those colleagues was that it’s OK to say “Stay back 6 feet” and/or “wear a mask around me”, and even to want to work with them remotely, but the LW still had to be able to work with them.

If it were me, I’d be wanting to work remotely.

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By: Amlan Gupta https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3243970 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 21:41:57 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3243970 Regarding #2, I resent the implication that I as a male manager would not be able to understand the needs of a woman reporting to me. By that logic, I should only have a male supervisor who could understand the medical treatments that I might need. This whole categorization of people by immutable characteristics that are then supposed to yield a certain kind of expected behavior is very dangerous.

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By: 'Tis Me https://www.askamanager.org/2021/01/updates-the-micromanagement-the-fertility-treatments-and-more.html#comment-3243969 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 21:41:40 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20822#comment-3243969 In reply to Anonapots.

Depending on how your calendar is configured, people may only be able to see if you’re blocked off or not (I think you need to share your Outlook calendar with people to let them see more than that, for instance)…

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