update: can I speak up about the portrait of a child abuser in my office?

by Alison Green on July 17, 2024

Remember the letter-writer who wanted to speak up about a portrait of a child abuser in their office (#2 at the link)? Here’s the update.

A few days after I initially wrote in, I heard statements from my boss that made it pretty clear they wouldn’t support me speaking up about The Portrait. Shortly afterwards, the diocese filed for bankruptcy to deal with the financial fallout from the mounting sexual abuse cases. This probably isn’t a surprise to anyone who’s been keeping up with the Catholic church in recent years. My workplace’s response was to assure us that we were fine and since we were a separate entity with separate finances, anything that happens to the diocese would not affect us directly. We were not considered connected to the Catholic church in that way. This detail will be important later.

To give you some highlights of what’s transpired since the bankruptcy: at least one coworker has quit per month since I wrote in and positions were not being successfully backfilled (read: an ever increasing workload), anyone who was hired in that time ended up quitting within a few months, a new manager was hired who I can only describe as an Olympic gold medalist in Micromanaging, and I was being bullied by my boss over my ADA accommodations. To sum it up, my workplace was becoming more and more toxic and we were hemorrhaging employees. Things had gotten so bad that I found myself crying in the bathroom at work multiple times a week and I felt like I was days away from walking out with nothing lined up.

I had been desperately job searching and probably applied to over 100 positions but only received two callbacks, which led to one interview, which led to nowhere. I know 100 applications probably doesn’t seem like a lot for someone who desperately wants a new job, but I was truly so exhausted. It felt like I was using every ounce of my mental bandwidth just to get through the workday and by February I ended up going on FMLA for two weeks at the recommendation of my doctor. During that time, I went hard applying for other jobs and I’m very happy to report that on the second to last day of my leave I was offered a position with a nonprofit that has an incredibly positive reputation in our community for not only the work they do, but the work environment they promote. The only downside was that I had to give four weeks notice to my current job in order to receive my pretty substantial PTO payout, but after the literal hell they put me through I wasn’t about to let them screw me over on that. To quote Goodfellas, “F*ck you. Pay me.”

I gave my notice the day I came back from leave and the response from my boss was, “Well, I can’t say that I’m surprised.” That reaction definitely put me in the mindset of, “Well, if you don’t care, then why should I?” The day after I gave notice, we had our yearly town hall meeting and our CEO asked for our thoughts on the overall work environment and why we were having trouble keeping employees. I used this as an opportunity to talk about our workplace’s attitude towards WFH, the culture of gossip, and our weirdly neutral stance on what was going on with the Catholic church. I used that last bit to bring up how our Child Abuse Awareness display was placed within view of The Portrait and how odd of a message that sends, and how I thought it was in poor taste that The Portrait was still on display to begin with. I asked if they were willing to put out a statement explicitly denouncing the cover-up of abuse by the church, even if it was just internal, and was told, “What exactly do you want us to do? Since we’re so intertwined with the Catholic church, there’s nothing else we can say or do.” So much for not being connected, I guess.

A few days after the town hall, I found out that four more coworkers had given their notice within a week of me. I genuinely don’t know how they’re going to move forward, but at this point it’s no longer my problem.

I’ve been at my new job for a month and a half and it’s been incredible so far. My coworkers are helpful, my boss actually makes me feel competent, and I’ve been told by several higher-ups how much of an asset I already am to my team. I leave work every day feeling like I’ve accomplished something. While I don’t have my own office, I do have a pretty nice cubicle to myself and I’m ecstatic to say that I no longer have to pass a portrait of a child abuser on my way there.

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  1. Not on board*

    Amazing. Love this update – also glad you got to have a “f*ck it” moment and were able to give them all that feedback. Even when someone disagrees or downplays what you say, your words will still sit with them for a while.

      1. KaciHall*

        The Catholic Church and associated organizations seem pretty good and ignoring what’s right in front of them. The only result is that the people willing to listen to reason and not rugsweep leave and only people who are good at ignoring issues are left.

    2. Retired Vulcan Raises 1 Grey Eyebrow*

      Congratulations on your great new job and on your great “eff it” moment.

    3. Womanaround*

      I hope so! I had one of those moments at an exit interview where 2 of us leaving (I think ten people resigned that year and 2 retired – out of a total of 30) to describe why morale was so low and the major HR issues plaguing our workspace. I met up with a coworker a few months later who told me that when management was confronted with our information they basically re-wrote it in their heads, going so far as to say that I left because I was moving (I moved for a new position, not the other way around) and that I had been very happy otherwise. Like truly told multiple people that was why I left. I don’t know how they played it with the other people, but when that same coworker left after a demotion in title (her supervisor’s job was eliminated so they restructured to put her boss into her title and responsibilities and move her down – after 10 years), I hope they at least acknowledged that they’re losing people for a reason.

      1. NotRealAnonForThis*

        Eh, I had a manger-type who did that at OldJob. I left because of the actions of the management team at large, locally, as they were unethical at best. If that wasn’t enough, they increased my travel to a point where it was not workable, mostly because they wanted me to accept a promotion that would have required relocation to another major metropolitan area in another state.

        This particular manager-type, who did not have oversight or authority over me directly, told everyone both in that company and outside that I left because I disliked teapot design and wanted to pursue other opportunities. Which was easy to correct with my new business cards that state “Lead Teapot Designer” as my job title…I did not disparage him, simply stated “oh surely he must have misheard, in reality here is my new contact information and job title….”

      1. Festively Dressed Earl*

        That was just weird. How hard would it be to put up a portrait of a saint instead?

        1. Project Maniac-ger*

          That was my thought… why didn’t they just quietly swap the portrait for another prominent catholic figure? There’s literally hundreds to pick from, not many people would actually notice, and then they wouldn’t be passively accepting child abuse.

        2. coffee*

          It’s not like the Catholic church is short on religious paintings! There are SO MANY other options.

          Clearly what they actually mean is “we want to keep the painting”. :/

  3. It’s Time*

    Oh, wow, I am so glad you got out of there.

    100 applications is totally a lot, and it does take an emotional toll to apply and hear nothing.

    I guess their approach to solving the problem of why everyone is leaving is the same as Ned Flanders’ parents – “We’ve tried nothing, and we’re all out of ideas!”

        1. Banana Pyjamas*

          Sadly same. Our market is so contracted right now basically only three types of jobs are hiring, and they all require different certifications.

    2. bamcheeks*

      It is a lot, and generally when I’m advising applicants I say numbers like that are too high! 2-3 good, well-targeted applications a week if you’re working full time, maybe up to 8 a week if you’re unemployed and applying full-time, are the sweet spot IMO.

      But it obviously worked for you LW, so WELL DONE!

      1. Venus*

        I don’t think there’s a maximum number when working for a place that has portraits of child abusers! I think it’s okay to say that there is a sweet spot, but it’s weird to say that a particular number of applications is too high.

        1. MigraineMonth*

          I think the concern is that you don’t want to a) spam every opening instead of looking for good matches; b) send out really generic applications instead of taking time to write an individual cover letter/tailor your resume/make network connections when possible; or c) burn out completely.

          Honestly, I’ve never managed a job search on top of full-time work, so I’m amazed anyone can do it.

        2. bamcheeks*

          By “sweetspot”, I mean “most likely to get you a new job”.

          Jobsearches aren’t lotteries: buying more tickets doesn’t make it more likely that your number will come up. Fewer, better-targeted applications are more likely to have success than applying broadly to lots of different things that aren’t a great fit for you and where you can’t make a convincing case for why you’d be better than the other candidates. I totally get WHY people get desperate and send as many applications as they can, but if it’s important to get a new job, it’s not the best way to do it.

          1. Nebula*

            Yes, and then all the rejections become very disheartening and make you think you’ll never ever find a job. My own experience has been that when I took the ‘apply for absolutely anything’ approach, it was a downward spiral which led to me doubting my own abilities so much, I was presenting myself badly in applications and interviews. When I took a more targeted approach, I had much more success.

    3. Permanently Exhausted Pigeon*

      I am currently trying to get out of a toxic situation (not as bad as this one but still) and I too am submitting applications regularly (5-10 a week) and getting either almost immediate “thanks but no thanks” emails (which leads me to believe that I am answering something “incorrectly” on the online app portals but who knows what since those emails don’t provide any insight) or I am sitting on “application complete” with crickets as far as communication for weeks (longest so far is 10 weeks with no movement, no response, and position is still open on their website). All that to say that I completely understand the emotional toll of submitting applications with nothing coming from them. And yeah, I’m not the only one in my office who is leaving/looking to leave.

      1. 15 Pieces of Flair*

        Have you tried connecting with former colleagues/bosses on your search? If you’re on good terms, most folks are glad to offer leads and often referrals or connections who would potentially refer you.

        I get that asking for support feels risky when you’re currently employed, but it’s a risk worth taking if you need out. Referrals are much more likely to get interviewed at most organizations, and you have to network to get referrals.

      2. DramaQ*

        Have you had to check any boxes that say “I consent to have AI screen my application?” I’ve been looking and I have had at least four different jobs want me to consent to let AI ues an algorithm to screen me before it gets to a human. I checked no on one I didn’t care about to see what happened. ..automatic rejection. Answered as I usually would .. automatic rejection. For the next one I fudged some experience. I didn’t lie I DO have the knowledge I just went with the literal wording the AI wanted for it. Ta da it went through!

        I am not thrilled with this. Like there weren’t enough computer gate keepers involved in hiring. I am exhausted trying to play games with Skynet so I can hopefully get to an actual human who knows how to read and interpret skills.

        I would look carefully at your applications next time and see if there is any wording about AI screening tools. And make sure to craft your resume/application as close as possible to the literal job description. It’s so dumb and frustrating but it ensures teh computer won’t spit you out at least.

    4. Buffalo*

      I don’t know if things have changed post-pandemic, but my Linkedin feed is just full of people saying, “I clicked Apply on 200 jobs and I only got one interview! Hiring is broken!” And, like, where I come from, indiscriminately sending out automated applications to everything rather than crafting cover letters and tailored resumes is a pretty good way to get 199 rejections.

      1. Welp*

        I’m not submitting applications that way and I’m still getting rejections or crickets. It’s not just people trying to spam their resume out. It’s a legitimate issue.

        1. Bibliothecarial*

          My friend is a rockstar, moderately well known in her field, and has been sending targeted applications in said field since April or May. She got 3 interviews I think? But she did just land an amazing job, so there is hope!

        2. Buffalo*

          Yeah, I’m not saying it’s “just” that, but I do see some of that. I just had a tough job search myself, I’m not lacking in sympathy for anyone.

    5. Judge Judy and Executioner*

      This is sadly the job market in the US. I applied to 85 jobs within a 3 month period, all but about 5-10% I was qualified for, the others would be the next step or two up. I got one phone screening, 2 recruiters reaching out, and several automated “thanks but no”, and many that didn’t respond. The job market, especially for remote jobs, is ROUGH. There are numerous people on LinkedIn who post about the sheer number of jobs they have applied for, and how few times they get any response. For me, I stopped looking to for a different job due to personal reasons, and am hoping things settle down when I’m ready to start looking again.

      1. Ed 'Massive Aggression' Teach*

        Love your handle! You definitely chose it for the greater good…

          1. Judge Judy and Executioner*

            These two comments just made my day. I love that movie (Hot Fuzz) and can’t help but repeat “the greater good” whenever I hear someone say it.

  4. Doctor Fun*

    Massive, MASSIVE congratulations on getting yourself out of there and into a place that is so, so much better in so many ways.

  6. juliebulie*

    Yikes, this could been my diocese. I wish any part of this letter surprised me. But that’s the attitude the local diocese (and affiliates) has had ever since the abuse made headlines. La-la-la-nothing’s-going-on. Ignore at all costs. Complain about being victimized/bankrupted by the victims. Do they know how they sound? It is profoundly sickening.

    Sorry for the outburst, but it’s hard not to be livid that this is still going on.

    So glad you landed on your feet, OP. I get discouraged and then I’m reminded that there are jobs in other places. Thanks for the update!

    1. lolcustomerservice*

      I think this is a situation where an outburst is entirely justified, tbh.

    2. Richard Hershberger*

      They are not only driving away employees, but also parishioners. I have a relative who was a lifelong observant Catholic until hearing a pastoral letter blaming all the troubles on The Gays. They now are Episcopalian at a notably gay church.

      1. Ally McBeal*

        I was a passionate convert to Catholicism. After the Pennsylvania Report came out in 2017 (which shed a lot more light on the extent of the coverup) I went to my local monsignor to discuss my distress, and he told me we never would’ve had a crisis if they’d never let gay men into the priesthood. Which, first of all, plenty of victims were girls. Second… just… no. I never darkened the door of that parish ever again – at the time I was able to switch to a different, non-diocesan church that was extremely queer-friendly, but then the pandemic hit and I moved and I lost that community. No liberal Catholic churches exist where I live now, so I’ve just given up. It’s so sad.

        1. Richard Hershberger*

          Try the Episcopalians or the Lutherans (ELCA: not LCMS). They very from church to church, but your odds are pretty decent, and the liturgy will be familiar.

        1. Richard Hershberger*

          I don’t know of any where literally everyone is queer, but there certainly are ones where the straight people would not be there were they not actively affirming.

      3. Hot Flash Gordon*

        My husband converted to Lutheranism a couple of years ago when we started going to church again (I’m Lutheran). He was so fed up with the culturally ingrained guilt, that feeling that you have to earn the love of God, its position on LGBTQ folx, and the way they’ve handled the sexual abuse. The last straw was when the head of the diocese of our metro area sent out very expensive mailings with a DVD urging Catholics to vote down the gay marriage amendment, all while crying poverty and closing schools left and right in disadvantaged areas. While Lutherans aren’t perfect, he’s absolutely astounded by how he can leave a church service feeling supported, loved, and energized for the week ahead.

      4. Nebula*

        Yes, no one in my family, including my formerly very Catholic grandmother, goes to church anymore. The scale of the abuse, the refusal to take responsibility, and the increasingly narrow-minded and vindictive line that many priests seem to be taking has led to none of them feeling they can be part of the Church. I think a lot of the good priests have also left, tbh, and it’s only the hardliners left in a lot of cases.

      5. Emily of New Moon*

        Yes, I too used to be a devout Catholic, and I had a very positive and affirming experience at the Catholic college I attended in the late nineties. I loved being Catholic and it was a huge part of my identity. If all Catholic priests and bishops were like the ones at my college, I 100% would still be Catholic. Sadly, that’s not the case. In addition to the child abuse, I had problems with the Church’s views on homosexuality, abortion, women, and birth control. I realized that I could no longer belong to a religion where half the population wasn’t allowed to preach or hold leadership roles; and the other half of the population could only be in these roles if they abstained from relationships with the first half! And let’s not even get into their feelings about nonbinary people.
        I tried worshipping at various Protestant and nondenominational churches in my city before finally finding my spiritual home at the Unitarian Universalist Church.

    3. Ally McBeal*

      I think there are precious few dioceses this letter could NOT ostensibly be about. This head-in-the-sand BS is why I stopped tithing and it was eventually part of why I left the Church altogether.

    4. Wolf*

      Blaming the victim for the fallout is such a classic tool of abuse. Blaming the kid who spoke up about domestic abuse for “breaking up a loving family”. Or for ruining someone’s career. It’s sickening, and very harmful.

  7. Goldenrod*

    “To quote Goodfellas, “F*ck you. Pay me.””

    WOW! OP, your update was SO satisfying to read, from start to finish. Including your cinematic town hall moment. Incredible. I’m so happy for you!!

    Side note: I had a beautiful office once, with a bullying boss. Now I have a cubicle with a great boss. Unsurprisingly, I’ll take the cubicle any day!

  8. CommanderBanana*

    Yay, LW! I love a happy ending. Here’s to thriving in your new role. I hope a sinkhole opens underneath your old workplace and it plummets into the core of the earth.

  9. Elle*

    I am so impressed that you were able to give them all that feedback, OP! Good for you for handling this the way you did and for getting out.

  10. Welp*

    “I had been desperately job searching and probably applied to over 100 positions but only received two callbacks, which led to one interview, which led to nowhere. I know 100 applications probably doesn’t seem like a lot for someone who desperately wants a new job, but I was truly so exhausted.”

    Great update and glad OP is in a better place now, but can we have more conversations about the statement above? I feel like there was a LW who wrote in recently lamenting about how exhausting job hunting is and (while it does seem that they were doing more than they needed to) many of the comments were very much like “it’s not that bad – suck it up”.

    I’m here to say JOB HUNTING IS AN EXHAUSTING PROCESS and it’s also SO demoralizing that so much effort has to be made to find a job. I have also been job-hunting on the side and it’s so depressing to spend time and effort on applying for jobs when more than likely a human isn’t going to see your application. I get why people stick with their horrible jobs for so long.

    So, in conclusion, I feel you, OP. If others think getting a job is easy then great for them, I guess, but I think the entire process sucks.

    1. learnedthehardway*

      Seconding this – job hunting IS exhausting, and 100 applications is quite a lot of work.

      1. Slow Gin Lizz*

        Thirding this! Upon reading this, I was like, “Nah, OP, 100 applications DOES seem like a lot.” Applying to a new job feels so much like just screaming into the ether, especially when you don’t hear back from so many of them at all, even a rejection. Glad you got out, and I’m so proud of you for being so honest and putting leadership on the spot at the town hall mtg.

      2. MigraineMonth*

        Job hunting is exhausting and 10 applications is a lot of work. I’ve never actually managed to switch jobs without a period of unemployment in between because I cannot manage job searching on top of a full-time job. I’m amazed other people can, *particularly* when the job is as exhausting and soul-sucking as the ones described.

        So kudos to the LW, and all support and admiration to everyone out there trying to find something better. You’re doing a good job, and it’s not your fault the job market sucks right now.

    2. RagingADHD*

      I’m sorry you’re feeling exhausted and demoralized. Yes, it’s really hard and it sucks.

      I’m not sure what letter you’re referring to. The April letter about how job hunting was so much work didn’t receive a response of “suck it up” at all.

      The response by AAM and the commenters was that the LW was making it a lot harder than it needed to be by doing intensive interview prep before even applying, for every single role they applied to, as well as trying to create a bunch of materials from scratch when templates and existing portfolio material would do. Maybe you’re referring to a different letter, but that’s the only one this year that seems to match the description.

      Everyone who’s ever been on a job hunt knows it is a lot of work and exhausting, and anyone who seems to get jobs “easily” has probably been in a position where they are doing a ton of informal networking across their industry as part of their day to day job – which is just a bonus that some jobs have. It’s the same amount of work, just spread out over years or decades.

      1. Welp*

        The LW in that situation was doing too much – I acknowledged that in my original post. Some comments brushed over the underlying feeling the LW was attempting to express (via hyperbole, it seemed) that the process itself was exhausting.

        1. Ghina*

          I think that’s a really unfair mischaracterising of the comments on that letter. I suspect your own situation may be coloring your interpretation in a very negative manner.

    3. Permanently Exhausted Pigeon*

      Posted this as a response above, but also posting here:

      I am currently trying to get out of a toxic situation (not as bad as this one but still) and I too am submitting applications regularly (5-10 a week) and getting either almost immediate “thanks but no thanks” emails (which leads me to believe that I am answering something “incorrectly” on the online app portals but who knows what since those emails don’t provide any insight) or I am sitting on “application complete” with crickets as far as communication for weeks (longest so far is 10 weeks with no movement, no response, and position is still open on their website). All that to say that I completely understand the emotional toll of submitting applications with nothing coming from them. And yeah, I’m not the only one in my office who is leaving/looking to leave.

      1. Welp*

        I’m in the same position, if it makes you feel better. Each app I send, I either get a rejection within a week or never hear anything. Resume and cover letter advice is all well and good but this problem seems to be bigger than something that can be solved by things like that.

      2. Reluctant Mezzo*

        There’s a lot of ‘ghost jobs’ out there. They pretend they want to hire people to fill holes they already have, but since the people there are getting the work done, they don’t actually want to hire.

    4. COHikerGirl*

      It is so so exhausting. I just finished a 4 month search (started last week!) while working. Between applications and interviews and phone screens and calls with recruiters and everything…I am exhausted. And didn’t have a chance at a break between jobs so still exhausted (it was either start then or wait a month because of family stuff already scheduled).

      100 applications is a lot. I kept track and didn’t put in that many (kept track only because I wants to see how many ghosted me…a way-too-high non-zero number).

  11. holdonloosely*

    “Our CEO asked for our thoughts on the overall work environment and why we were having trouble keeping employees. [They asked us to focus on responses that had nothing to with the actual problems, because they are committed to things somehow magically getting better without anyone in charge having to change or experience discomfort.]”

    I’m so glad you got a new job, OP, and hope it’s as good as you thought it would be, and I’m glad you got to say something about the portrait too.

    1. Richard Hershberger*

      A sadly common leadership response: not only so unreflective as to miss the obvious, but rejecting the obvious when it is explicitly named.

    2. Slow Gin Lizz*

      Leadership, to employees: Why do you think people are leaving and what can we do to retain them?
      Employees: better pay, WFH options, no photos of abusers on the wall
      Leadership: Aside from those things, what can we do to retain them?

      1. Georgia Carolyn Mason*

        Or they go, great! How about instead: Pizza party! Mandatory outdoor field day! Feelings chart!

  12. anonymous girlie*

    LW – as a victim, a former Catholic Church employee, and a current Church adjacent employee – thank you for your advocacy. I am lucky to work for an employer who recognizes that it is our duty to denounce the abuse crisis, but when I didn’t, I was always so grateful when someone else spoke up so that I didn’t have to risk outing myself or putting myself in a bad space mentally. I’m so sorry that your organization didn’t receive that, and I’m glad you you’ve been able to land on your feet. I hope you are THRIVING.

  13. Keymaster of Gozer (She/Her)*

    I’m glad you got out of there but truly sorry for the amount of stress that must have put you under. As we’re already seeing from today’s earlier post there’s still a lot of ‘well, we can’t condemn someone for horrific actions’ attitude around.

  14. Chidi has a stomach ache*

    Huh, based on the timing of the original, I wonder if that was happening in my diocese, which has also recently declared a kind of pre-emptive bankruptcy after my state passed a law that removed the statute of limitations on abuse cases. It’s not great and the ripple effects are real, even on orgs that aren’t officially run by the diocese.

    I’ve worked at a lot — a *lot* — of Catholic orgs over the years, and most of them rely on vocation/loyalty over things like, just treatment of workers. I’m lucky enough to be at a place now that is Catholic, but also large and international, so it has enough independence to avoid most of the pitfalls I’ve seen previously. It’s good to know when you need to get out, and be able to do so.

  15. Anonny*

    Oh, I was raised Catholic and it’s so cringe for a large portrait of a bishop to be displayed at semi-affiliated nonprofit- it’s already scandalous for Catholics to have saints, and family members of Jesus already on display, idol worship and all.

    To clarify, the Bishop only covered up the abuse and didn’t actually abuse anyone? It felt like the language in the first letter conflated the two things- I couldn’t tell if he did both or just covered it all up.
    My point is the church would not see a wrong doing if he was trying to “protect” the church, so that may be their justification for keeping a large portrait of a fallible old man on display for all.

    1. RabbitRabbit*

      It feels like he both committed abuse and admitted to covering up that of others:
      “A few years before I started this job, credible child sexual abuse allegations surfaced regarding a prominent bishop of my diocese. Some cases have settled, many are pending. Not only that, but this bishop has since come out and admitted in plain language to covering up child sexual abuse allegations against fellow priests in order to protect the reputation of the diocese.”

    2. IamNOTNeutralOnThis*

      I understand where you’re coming from with your question, I do.

      My abuser’s uncle was an Archbishop. He knew. The school knew. Both were complicit in covering it up in order to “protect the Church”, on the shoulders of a number of middle school girls.

      The solution by the way? Move him to early elementary so that he “wouldn’t be tempted”. I’m sorry but what the fvck on a truck?

      What you allow to happen by non-action, you condone.

    3. MM*

      Wait. “ the Bishop only covered up the abuse”. So you don’t believe this is bad? Indicated by your use of the word only.

      But a picture of Mary is scandalous?

      Wow.

      2. Elly*

        This is why I rarely comment here. Language must be perfect, otherwise unhelpful and accusations of being a bad person follow.

        They didn’t mean only in a minimizing way. CLEARLY. Only can also be used to say it was solitary – as in did the bishop do only one awful thing or two awful things.

      1. Welp*

        Right – I was raised Catholic too and the ‘idol worship’ is a thing protestants often accuse Catholics of. I’ve seen a LOT of pictures/statues of Mary & Saints in Catholic churches, homes, etc. That’s not unusual.

        1. NotRealAnonForThis*

          My personal experience is that the more evangelical the protestant branch, the more offended that branch is by the fact that saints exist under Catholicism. Lutherans and Episcopalians don’t much seem phased. Non-denominational? Forget it. You’re talking heresy.

          Mileage may vary I assume. Simply been my lived experience.

          1. Hot Flash Gordon*

            Lutherans aren’t much bothered by it because many of our churches (and some liturgy) resembles Catholicism. Luther loved being a Catholic, just didn’t love what the Catholic church was doing (this is a giant oversimplification, I know…).

            1. allathian*

              Lutherans don’t pray to saints for intercession with God, (I’m a culturally Lutheran non-believer in Finland, where we have two official state churches, the Lutheran and the Orthodox) but the churches that were built before the Reformation still retain the name of the saint they were dedicated to. My local one’s St. Lawrence, for example.

    5. ZSD*

      Your first paragraph is really uncalled for. Catholics pray to saints *for intercession* with God, not as gods themselves.

      1. Festively Dressed Earl*

        I think Anonny meant “scandalous” and “idol worship” to have heavy sarcasm marks but the tone didn’t come through. If you insert a really big eye roll on the first syllable of each phrase, you get the evangelical take on Catholics “not being real Christians”, plus you’ll get an up-close look at your own frontal lobes!

    6. MigraineMonth*

      It’s clear the church didn’t see a wrong doing in “protecting” the church. Most people think that covering up sexual abuse against children isn’t okay, though.

      We’re all fallible. Not all of us have enabled the *continued* abuse of children entrusted in our care, and those who did do not deserve to be honored by having our portraits displayed prominently. (Even if the abusers didn’t have access to other children (which is unfortunately rare), covering up their abuse left their previous victims without treatment, which I consider continued abuse.)

  16. Lacey*

    Congratulations on getting out!

    Also, 100 applications is a BUNCH.
    When I was on unemployment they required us to apply to 3 a week, I was unemployed for 5 months and that still doesn’t hit even 25 applications.

    1. Covert Copier Whisperer*

      Yeah, exactly. Also it’s so highly variable by industry and job experience. In some fields maybe non-stretch positions are always out there (in which case there’s probably also a proportionate number of people looking) and on the other end of the spectrum you get niche fields where there might be a handful of open positions a year.

      Without knowing more details I have no idea how 100 applications stacks up against available jobs in LW’s field, but it’s a LOT of work especially on top of full time employment.

    2. Fatima*

      Wait, 3 applications per week for 5 months (so, 20ish weeks, right?). isn’t that 60 applications? Or have I become math-stupid? it’s entirely possible…

  17. Ann O'Nemity*

    I recently read in the news that the Knights of Columbus decided to cover up art made by Catholic Priest and abuser Marko Rupnik. I bet more organizations will follow suit; there is no good reason to keep up these reminders of traumatic abuse.

  18. Observer*

    I’m sorry that you had such a hard time. But I’m totally not surprised, considering what you had shared.

    The “leadership” is terrible. And also stupid. A cardinal rule is to never ask a question you don’t want to hear the answer to. So either they are stupid enough to not realize what is going on, or they are stupid enough to think that no one is going to speak up.

    Neither makes for good management!

  19. Festively Dressed Earl*

    I’d like to think that LW speaking up helped spur those other coworkers to get out of that beehive. Even if it wasn’t the “come to Jesus” moment that the higher-ups needed.

  20. lolcustomerservice*

    LW, this update rules and you rule. If I weren’t in the office I’d stand up and clap.

  21. Madame Desmortes*

    I’m delighted you’re in a better work situation now, OP. Thank you for speaking up.

  22. The Kulprit*

    I applaud both your integrity and your use of Goodfellas quotes. Congrats OP, may your future be bright!

  24. K in Boston*

    I’m really happy for you, OP! A lot of the things you mentioned are hard to do even when you’re in a good place, and doing everything that you did must have taken a lot of work. Congratulations!

  26. Ellis Bell*

    You’ve got to love how the response to ‘improve staff morale and stop venerating child abusers’ was… “What exactly do you want us to do?” Er…all the stuff I just said? Do that?

  27. HelloWorld*

    Believe in God or not, the abuse crisis in religions is to show what other decades-old and perhaps centuries-old organizations could be facing if the abuse isn’t dealt with. The organizations could be universities and businesses. Many abuses could be swept under the rug and be forgotten for years and perhaps decades. Some organizations may be taking actions now.

    An example is Jian Ghomeshi and the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. The folks in the TV industry knew how he abused women but his show was profitable for years. Once the victim spoke out and the cases were taken seriously, the show ended abruptly and the Canadian Broadcasting Corp dismissed the host immediately. The posters and banners were down from HQ right away.

    There are many more well-established organizations that may not know what do to with the abusers. They better figure out soon. With the culture of people speaking out against the wrong doings, these organizations have less and less runway until the wrongdoings are exposed. The church has spoken.

  28. Bookworm*

    Oh wow, OP. I am sorry you had to go through all of that, but I am glad you came through the other side and are in a better place. :) Thank you for updating us!!

  29. OhBehave*

    I’m glad you found a better place to work! Your story is similar to my sister’s. But she was abused by our priest. My other sister died at age 6 (I was born a few years later). Priest was very friendly with our family. He would stop by often. He started grooming my sister. The abuse continued for years. She was in her 30’s when she spoke up. This was rare at that time (94). The diocese paid her and paid her therapy. This priest was very influential in the community. His pic hung on the wall of a nursing home he built. Every time I visited my dad, I flipped off the pic and put it behind the garbage can. It always reappeared. (Sis was the administrator. He had a hold over her.)

  30. Alan*

    This has parallels in the rise of the religious “Nones”. “Why are people leaving? It’s a mystery!” No, it’s not.

  31. JPalmer*

    LW: “Maybe we shouldn’t have a picture of a child abuser, as it sends a mixed message”

    LW’s Company “What do you want us to do?!”

    -.-

  32. Cheap Ass Hellmouth*

    I’m so glad you got out of there and got to speak your piece on your way out! As an abuse survivor, thank you for taking a stand.

  33. Raisins in Potato Salad Walking to the Moon*

    While it is admitted not legal to just take the portrait, I would have been very tempted to replace just the face with something like Alec Guiness as Obi-Wan Kenobi, and see how long it took for anyone to notice.

    1. La Triviata*

      I saw someone posted a picture of their family’s wall of family pictures. They’d replaced their photo with one of Kim Jong Un (I think it was) and were waiting for someone to notice.

  34. Lily*

    We don’t know each other, but I am SO PROUD of you and SO HAPPY for you!
    You have genuinely inspired me today.

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