how do you stay focused on work during anxiety-inducing world events?

A reader writes:

I wonder if you have any tips/tricks on how to keep focused on work when there is a major event going on? I recall trying to work for several weeks after the 2020 election and January 6 and know my work was not efficient or good quality during that time. I’m so anxious about the election results that I know I will be following all day and probably many more days after since it’s unlikely we’ll get results for some time. Focusing on work during this time seems extremely difficult and pointless.

Things that help me when I need to focus during difficult times:

•  Remember that when a crisis is happening in the world, it’s natural and human to be distracted. As long as your work allows for some ebb and flow, you don’t need to perform at 100% every minute. (Don’t take this advice if you’re performing surgery tomorrow, but otherwise give yourself some grace.)

•  Remind yourself that there’s nothing you can do to change tomorrow’s outcome. Whatever you could have done to help affect the outcome, that time is now behind us. (Unless you still need to go vote, in which case do that immediately, or are going to walk off the job and drive people to polls or make GOTV calls, in which case go for it.)

•  To the extent that you control your work activities on any given day, choose them strategically. Maybe tomorrow is the day that you’ll organize all your files and do other undemanding work, or maybe it’s the day to throw yourself into something intellectually demanding as a distraction. Know yourself and plan accordingly.

•  It’s okay to take breaks to check the news but schedule them so they don’t take over; for example, you might decide you’ll check the news for five minutes every two hours, but nothing so momentous will happen in between that you need to check more than that. The feeling that constant vigilance will somehow help is an illusion to give yourself a sense of control, but it doesn’t actually change anything; all it does is keep you in a state of stress.

And this one isn’t work-specific, but during particularly stressful events it can help to put energy into doing the kind of good in the world that you want to see more of: help others, donate to charity, be extra kind to someone. Time is going to pass this week whether you spend it paralyzed by stress or not; you might as well choose to spend it putting good into the world.

{ 414 comments… read them below }

  1. Tio*

    I deliberately scheduled a haircut for immediately after work so I can avoid the information as much as possible. I voted already, and what’s done is done. Wake me up when the election ends.

    1. Bananapants*

      Oh that’s a good idea! Last round I was in a class after work and even then I was still frantically checking the returns on our breaks.

    2. Gollum's Favorite Hobbit*

      Similar here — I was told last week that I needed to cover our late shift, and I couldn’t be happier. Cover then crash into bed.

    3. Person from the Resume*

      I agree, but think that’s a sign I’m different than the LW.

      There will be no useful news until Tuesday night. Work all day Tuesday not worrying about it or checking the news except at lunch (which is my normal).

      Wednesday will be a different story. We may be uncertain and worried, happy or sad/disappointed/full of rage. IDK and will have to deal.

      1. Global Cat Herder*

        I have all day Wednesday blocked off, door closed, no meetings. I will be doing all the things I’ve put off because they were low priority – filing (both physical & electronic), catching up on mandatory training, etc. The goal for Wednesday is to actually see the top of my desk for a few minutes – even if I just dust it and put the piles back on it – and not to talk to anyone who wants to speculate or rehash.

      2. LW*

        Logically I know we won’t know anything until tomorrow night, but I also live in a place where early voting is challenging and there are no mail-in/drop-off ballots, so I will actually be going to vote tomorrow. There will be anxiety around that I’m sure, and I’ll be obsessively checking the wait times at the polling places near me to pick an ideal time to go. I’m hoping to get in early and just get it done. 2020 was about an hour wait, so it wasn’t too bad.

        1. Baked Alaska*

          I don’t have any solid advice for you, but I’m so glad you asked this question, because it’s made me feel so much less alone with my dread.

          1. mymotherwasahamster*

            In my City in Germany there’s a couple election watch events going on tonight. They’re being hosted exactly because so many people don’t want to be alone. I know that info doesn’t exactly help you, I guess I’m just trying to say that even if it feels like you’re alone in your dread, there are others, besides this thread, who feel the same way.

        2. Mutually supportive*

          An hour isn’t too bad! Wow. I’m in the UK and where I am I can usually walk straight in. Don’t think I’ve ever been behind more than one other person to collect a ballot paper. I’m not in a big city though, it may be different there.

          1. Timothy (TRiG)*

            Same in Ireland. I can only vote in person, and I cannot choose my polling place: I have one assigned. But it’s open early morning till late evening, and the maximum wait I’ve ever had was a couple of minutes.

          2. Jake Purralta*

            Even the big cities in the UK are split into smaller polling stations so there is never a Q. Over the years I’ve gone various times between the start and finish times and to a few different polling stations over the years and never had to Q.

            1. General von Klinkerhoffen*

              There have been some cases where people have had to queue and haven’t voted by 10pm (national cutoff) but this is so rare and scandalous that it makes headlines and causes great outrage.

              1. amoeba*

                Same in Germany (Berlin, specifically) – but then they are always quite chaotic anyways, and then they also scheduled the elections the day of the marathon. Not the best planning for sure! (They also didn’t have enough ballots, some votes got lost… it was total chaos and had to be repeated in the end.)

                1. mymotherwasahamster*

                  I ran the marathon that year and have felt a bit bad about it ever since! At least I haven’t heard anyone blaming the runners, whereas in the US that‘d be the first target :P

          3. run mad; don't faint*

            I’m in the US, in what many people would probably call a small city, as opposed to a medium one. I’m also assigned a polling place and I’ve rarely had to wait more than a few minutes to vote. The only times I’ve had to were in the last presidential election, when I voted early and there was a huge early voting turnout, and when Obama first ran for president. I think a lot of it depends on what early voter turnout is like, and what percentage of the voting population is choosing to vote.

            1. goddessoftransitory*

              My state is all mail in ballots–we did ours last week. I did love that they included the “I Voted!” sticker with the ballot, as that’s what I missed most from going physically to the polls.

              1. Catagorical*

                I accidentally recycled my sticker after I mailed my ballot and I’m unreasonably sad about it. I do have a good selection of past stickers on the inside of a cabinet door, and the sticker design is formal and bland.

            2. JustaTech*

              I’ve only voted in person once (my state moved to all vote by mail) and there was no wait that time (2008?).
              I do remember going with my mom when she voted in the 2000 election and freezing my tail off because our polling place was the basement of the tiny church in our tiny New England suburb so even though there weren’t many people there were also only like 3 booths so the line was long, and then non-voters weren’t allowed inside at all.

          4. Hlao-roo*

            There are a few different factors that affect how long the polling lines are:
            – how many polling places the city/town/etc. has open
            – how many people are working the polls
            – who/what’s on the ballot
            – what time of day you go to the polls

            I worked the polls for the 2020 presidential election in the US and there was a queue that was maybe 40 min to an hour long in the morning just after the polls opened, but then by 10am there was no queue (because people with office jobs were at work) so voters could stroll right up to collect a ballot. There was a small queue of people around noon (voting on their lunch break) and a pretty steady 20 min queue of people voting in the early evening (after work).

            1. Policywank*

              There are also a number of states, especially in the south, where they put fewer voting machines in the voting polling stations and have closed many polling stations in majority black areas. So, “how long” is very often affected by how virulently racist your state and local governments are. I lived in one such district for the last three presidential elections.

          5. CheeseHead*

            It absolutely depends on how well-funded your voting district is. If you’re in a rich area, it will take 5-15 minutes (assuming you’re not doing same-day registration), and there are plenty of opportunities to vote early or absentee.

            If you’re in a poor and predominantly black district? You can expect broken machines and to wait 5 hours to vote, with difficult-to-meet voter id laws and little to no early or absentee voting. Oh, and giving water to people waiting in line is illegal in some states.

            1. bamcheeks*

              I knew about the first two parts but what is the supposed no-this-isn’t-about-voter-suppression-honest justification for not giving people water??!

              1. YetAnotherAnalyst*

                There’s typically some sort of rule regarding electioneering near a polling place. It’s supposed to prevent political slogans and physical interference, but keeping people comfortable while they wait to vote apparently counts – at least in some districts. Meanwhile this year some folks are claiming it shouldn’t apply to wearing their political merchandise into the polling place?
                This year is exhausting.

                1. JustaTech*

                  There are also historical laws about selling/giving away alcohol on election day because in the past (like 100+ years ago) it was very common to bribe men with beer to get them to vote for your candidate.
                  This was also before secret ballots.

          6. LW*

            My city is notoriously bad for voting times. There are 9 early voting locations for a city of a million people. Wait times are regularly 3+ hours for those. On election day there are way more locations, but not enough workers/voting stations at each location. This has never been the case anywhere else I’ve lived (I’ve lived in 4 different states). I would not expect this kind of wait in most places.

          7. Nightengale*

            it really depends where you are in the US and there are party, race and class factors

            I am in a northern liberal city and generally have a wait of just a few minutes at most, except for one primary election when they ran out of ballots and were waiting for some to be driven over.

            In some parts of the country, polling places have been closed leading to very long lines at the remaining ones. Sometimes hours outdoor lines in the heat. One state passed a law forbidding anyone from giving food or drink to people in line to vote.

          8. US voter*

            This depends so much on where you are. I used to live in San Francisco, and I never waited at a regular polling station. I think I waited at early voting, but I don’t think it was an hour.

          9. Librarian*

            In the (US) 2004 election I was in a loooong line at my polling place. Someone walked up to the line and asked how long people had been waiting. From someone in the line came “four years.”

          10. ShanShan*

            It’s a tactic.

            The people who have inflexible (that is, bad) jobs, difficult work hours, no childcare, no easy transportation, limited funds, or anything else that means they can’t vote without short waits, multiple options for times/locations, mail-in options, etc…. well, let’s just say that those people tend to vote overwhelmingly for one specific party.

            So, it’s always a battle between one party trying to make it easier for them to vote and the other party trying to make it harder.

          11. WheresMyPen*

            I remember for the 2015 election I had to queue for about half an hour but every other time I’ve pretty much walked straight in. But that’s in a suburban neighbourhood; I imagine in more densely populated areas queues are normal.

        3. Web of Pies*

          I’d presume we won’t have definitive results tomorrow, there will likely be contests and recounts. I’d plan your anxiety-reducing routine through the end of the week, just in case.

          You can only do what you can do, I’d recommend being as laissez-faire as you can tomorrow, i.e., avoid the news obviously, but don’t try and time your voting line/location, just pick a place close to you and plan to wait in a long line (I believe your employer has to give you 4 hours for voting, maybe go have lunch someplace after), and find things to do away from your devices after work. There must be some long, unchallenging home task you can perform to eat away your time and energy…organize the garage? Rake the leaves? File and shred the document pile?

          1. Web of Pies*

            Forgot to add, torturing yourself with endless webpage refreshing isn’t going to help anything at all, it’s only hurting you. After you vote, try to check out and take care of yourself. :)

          2. Bitte Meddler*

            And we already know that Pennsylvania’s votes won’t be completely counted for days after, since they can’t even open the envelopes of mailed-in ballots until 7:00 AM tomorrow.

            That’s 1,790,319 ballots, as of 11:00 EST today.

            1. Momma Bear*

              My state confirmed receipt of my ballot but said that it may be the 15th before all mail in/absentee votes are counted.

        4. Web of Pies*

          Ooh or you know what’s great for killing time and distracting yourself? Go to the movies!

          Bonus points if you have a theater chain like the Alamo Drafthouse that has a zero tolerance policy about checking your phone during the movie.

          1. Worried Kid's Mom*

            Yes! When my kids get home from school (half day) we are headed to the movies. One of my kids saw too many political ads during the baseball playoffs due to living on a border of a swing state. Now he is so worried about the election. I need to keep him distracted. (He is only 6, so watching the results come in/not come in/be contested is a little above his pay grade!) I figure movies are perfect for being both entertaining/distracting and isolating from the outside world.

            1. Just Another Cog*

              Oh my god, poor kid! That’s just messed up. This is not something I would have even thought about as a kid in the 60’s. I am so sorry.

          2. Sloanicota*

            True, if you really need to get out of your head, an actual movie theater is just about the best option other than, like, an amusement park with no lines.

            1. Camp Staff*

              I’m going the amusement park route – taking my Girl Scout troop to Dollywood tomorrow. Roller coasters, cinnamon bread, and Dolly Parton are a great distraction.

        5. Chirpy*

          I actually did in-person early voting this year, which only somewhat lessened my anxiety, but it does help to know that my part is done. In the past, voting early in the day was better than trying to wait to go after work.

          For the waiting tomorrow/ the rest of the week, I have a couple of projects planned (and I am absolutely eating lunch in my car the rest of the week to avoid the breakroom tv/those coworkers who are going to be obsessively watching the news)

          1. TiffIf*

            This also includes drop boxes – if you are in the drive through to drop your absentee/mail-in ballot into the collection box when polls close – STAY IN LINE you can still drop it off.

            I was a poll worker in a vote by mail state in 2020 and 2022 and they had workers at 8 pm (or whenever polls close) put down cones after the last car and not let anybody else get in the line.

      3. Frank Doyle*

        Yeah I was going to say the same thing, they’re not going to start calling states until the evening, there’s not much play-by-play to pay attention to during the day.

        1. Bee*

          It’s true there’s not much to pay attention to during the day, but with every hour we get closer to having real answers instead of imaginary ones, my tension ratchets up another notch, unfortunately. Extremely hard to distract myself from the inside of my own head!

      4. Tabihabibi*

        A couple things that have helped me with election-specific distractions:

        Remember none of us are alone in the wait. At least where I live and work I (try to) remind myself to trust there will be a **reaction** on the big ticket items. No one has made an exclamation? No news.

        Bookmarking the dryest source of dressed down info. I find my secretary of state elections website the least distracting if I really gotta check (especially on down ballot races Im also really invested in). Mine will usually post things like “results will be updated at Xpm” so you can know no news outlet is getting that sooner and give yourself a few hours before the next just-the-facts check.

      5. Happy*

        Agreed. I have a long To Do list for tomorrow because I expect to be completely unable to focus on Wednesday.

      6. Ellie*

        I am a doom scroller. I will have my three best sources of news websites open all day, and be scrolling all day, clicking for updates, doing low focus work in the background. I get anxious not knowing what is going on. If I’ve checked, then I can calm down. I know it’s not healthy, but its the way my brain works.

        I’m in Australia, by the way. Your election is not nearly as important to me as it is to anyone in the US. But I can tell you 100% that no-one at my (Australian) company got any work done on 9/11 either.

        1. A reader among many*

          It is kind of important, unfortunately, because it will literally determine whether a big and powerful country is aligned with democracies or autocracies. :-( Sorry to do this to all of you down there and everywhere else!

          1. Ellie*

            Yeah, as I thought, quite a few people have called in sick today. I bet they’re watching the election. The outcome is a big deal in Australia too.

      7. mymotherwasahamster*

        I commented elsewhere that I’m overseas where there are election watch parties… but those go from 3pm – midnight East Coast time, and I’m not aware of anything planned for tomorrow. Which, if 2016 is any indication, could thus be quite lonely.

        Whatever. Off to four more hours of manic productivity.

        1. Reluctant Mezzo*

          I’m a local chair and we’re meeting at a local Irish pub. There’s a pint of Guinness waiting for me there.

    4. Slow Gin Lizz*

      I’m getting my haircut tomorrow! More of a coincidence than that I was planning to do so (that’s when she had an appt available) but wow will it feel great to have someone else wash and brush my hair, even for only a few minutes.

      This past weekend I was doing first aid training and there’s nothing like 16 hours of intense learning activities to get your mind off things. I almost completely forgot about world events until I left the training and went to my parents’ house for dinner Sat night.

      1. Slow Gin Lizz*

        Also, as I need to renew the FA training every two years, I might plan to do it the weekend before the 2028 election too because I’ve discovered what an excellent distraction it is!

    5. goddessoftransitory*

      I’ve got a day of household chores planned–not gonna lie, I will be checking the results, but I needed things to do that were not that.

    6. Turquoisecow*

      There’s also not going to be much news during the day, as polls in most places don’t close until the evening (and west coast even later) so it’s not like you’re going to miss anything major in terms of election news at 3:00pm

      Plus, if the last few years are any indication, we probably won’t even know by end of day Tuesday. You’re not missing anything, it’s okay to unplug from it for a bit.

    7. Carolamy*

      The problem is, the election might take days to conclude. I take the day after off, to give me a little breathing room.

    8. Elizabeth the Ginger*

      I got theater tickets one year for election night and that was a mistake I have no idea what happened in that play. It might have made sense to go to a discount movie theater, but not good seats at a Tom Stoppard show.

    9. Ally McBeal*

      Today’s gonna be a crapshoot but I’d scheduled an off-site meeting that swallowed up half of the day, which helps. I spent several hours last night cleaning and will probably do more of the same tonight. I took tomorrow off because focusing has been hard enough so far this week and have booked a doctor’s appointment and a volunteer shift to keep me off my phone. I also have a big craft project I need to ideate (maybe execute, depending on how long this drags out) and a book to finish before book club this weekend.

      1. JustaTech*

        I’ve got a bunch of actually productive meetings at work and a project that will have me back and forth between my desk and the lab pretty much all day. And tomorrow I might just invent lab work to keep me off the computer.

        Tonight I’ve got a toddler who does not care about elections. I think he’ll get to play with the magic sand *and* the rainbow rice and maybe we’ll even start a Thanksgiving craft project.

  2. Aerie*

    I just took the next two days off of work – one is logistical (kids’ school is closed for election day), the following day is because whatever does (or doesn’t) happen Tuesday night is going to leave me with a LOT of emotions on Wednesday. I know from both 2016 and 2020 that it’s better for me to purposefully check out and not have any expectations on me.

    1. MPerera*

      I requested and got tomorrow off as a vacation day (and I work evenings, so I’ll have Wednesday morning free as well).

      I also bought a bottle of wine a week ago, and somehow it’s only a third full now.

      1. BeenThere*

        We were drinking a bottle of wine in 2016, we had to open the second one, it was drained quickly. There was only two of us and we had to work the next day. Oh yeah we aren’t allowed to vote as non residents aliens.

        Needless to say we stay away from the news as much as possible as well as the wine.

        So please vote, there’s probably loads of folks in your everyday life that are unable to vote.

    2. CheeseHead*

      I’m working as an election official (late shift), so I’m going to be both very busy and not allowed to talk about candidates/results until pretty late tomorrow night.

      I’m assuming this one is going to be really close and there are going to be recounts, so I’m looking at it as a marathon rather than a sprint. The results will come when they come, and they will be what they will be, and there’s nothing I can do but vote and be the most diligent election official I can be.

      1. EllieBeth*

        Thank you for doing that! That’s definitely more productive than my plans for election night.

      2. Momma Bear*

        Thank you for serving as an election official. I hope things go as smoothly as possible for your precinct.

      3. Raine*

        Does your area have shifts? I’m envious. I’m a pollworker in PA and I’m working from 5:45am through close of polls at 8pm, plus teardown and equipment dropoff. If I get home by 10pm, I’ll count myself lucky.

        1. Frieda*

          Same in NE (reminder to our unimpressive incumbent Senator who put out a campaign ad this week celebrating the state … with footage of a town and landscape that is not within 10 hours of here: NE is for Nebraska, not New England).

        2. I Have RBF*

          Yeah, last time I volunteered as a poll worker it was from 6 am to 10 pm, with all the prep before and pack up after. It’s a very long day, and I can’t do it any more.

      4. Madame Desmortes*

        I am also working at the polls, and I suspect from your username in the same state as you.

        Cheers, let’s get this done. :)

    3. Momma Bear*

      I am working from home and deliberately not opening social media or news. I might not even check email.

    4. Beth*

      I took the day off. I’m driving voters to the polls. It’s healthier than drugs. (Anti-anxiety meds are ready for the evening.)

  3. NobodyHasTimeForThis*

    FB reminded me that 4 years ago some states took days to solidify results. 8 years ago we knew by 9 pm (Pacific Time)

    For better or worse this is a slower time of year for me at work which means more opportunities to spiral. I am better if I can bury myself in a project and tune out the world for a few hours.

    Fortunately I am WFH on Wednesday, but I really don’t want to come into the office Thursday if it is not settled (or if it goes a certain way) because I have a coworker who will spiral into talking about it all day long for weeks.

    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      It is okay to say, “I cannot talk about this and still focus on work today” or “I’m not the right audience for this” or “I know you’re processing, but I can’t talk about it and still get work done, thanks for understanding.”

        1. Great Frogs of Literature*

          Personally, I think that if someone is quoting that rhetoric, you’re fine to push back in that manner… BUT you are implicitly saying that you’re up to debate about it (at least, that’s what this person will hear), so I probably would not engage, myself, except possibly to rescue other people.

          1. A_Jessica*

            Agree 100%

            General note piggy backing off your point, if you see someone getting ambushed IMHO it’s always okay to rescue that person.

        2. essie*

          I think this kind of language, unfortunately, invites conflict and stress that will leave everyone more upset. I completely understand the urge to say it, but in a workplace, I can just see it emboldening the offender and making the situation even worse. In dealing with these people, I’ve personally found it easiest to beat them at their own game: “You know what? I’m really old-fashioned about politics, so I don’t discuss political opinions at work – or around the dinner table! I’m all for good traditional values of politeness, and keeping things like that private. Thanks for understanding!” It clearly sends your message, while simultaneously making it difficult to argue (you said you’re old-fashioned and all for traditional values like politeness, right?) and also sneakily calling out the rudeness and making it clear you’re not comfortable. It’s not perfect, but I’ve found it to be very effective. Last time I said this, the offending coworker said “You know what? I agree!” and I haven’t heard a peep out of her since.

        3. Echo*

          If you’re comfortable sharing your identity – using immigrants as an example: “Actually, I’m an immigrant, and saying those things about people like me makes me really uncomfortable.”

          Or even just: “Many people close to me are immigrants and it’s upsetting to hear people say things like that about the people I love.”

          If their response is “Of course I didn’t mean you or your loved ones,” I think you can just re-emphasize, “I can’t stand to hear people talk about ANY immigrants that way.”

    2. Annie*

      The frustrating thing, one way or another, is that even if it took days, the process and how things are going with a certain candidate makes it that even if once the states certify, things aren’t over until Jan. 6th. So it’s important to keep your energy level and not get stressed on about something you can’t control. Look to the positive things in life and focus on that.

    3. Antilles*

      Do you have any sort of annual refresher training, long-term planning, or anything else that’s normally low-priority but you can go ahead and bury yourself in the next couple days? That’s a possible way to keep busy to tune out the world *and* help out Future You by knocking it out early rather than handling it in December/January.
      There’s also the alternatives of “always having headphones in”, “close your office door”, “avoid the break room”, and other similar alternatives to avoid the spiraling coworker.

    4. ThatGirl*

      I really wanted to WFH Wednesday but I am required to be here for an event. Thankfully I will have Thurs and Fri at home. And mostly my office doesn’t talk politics, but I feel like the atmosphere might be weird regardless.

    5. Momma Bear*

      I have a coworker who will worry a topic and sometimes I need to just say, “That’s not something I am comfortable discussing at work. Do you need that TSP report?” If you can go to another workspace to get away from that person or even just put on headphones all day (whether you’re listening to anything or not), it might help ward off people who want to chat.

  4. Former Govt Contractor*

    My husband and I are going to dinner and a movie after work, getting home around 9 pm. I know if I don’t plan something I’ll be glued to the TV.

    1. Ashley*

      We are initially avoiding the news for the next few days so streaming movies, hiding apps on the phones, etc. for today and tomorrow.
      And trying to have hope for the future …

    2. Bunny Girl*

      Oh that’s a really good idea. My husband already planned a gaming day with his friends. I’m going to go bother my bestie. Lol.

    3. The Original K.*

      Great idea. I was thinking about going swimming for the same “no phone” reason, but a movie takes up more time.

    4. Makare*

      It’s our 15-year dating anniversary tomorrow, so we’re going out for a fancy dinner on the river and no phones allowed. We live in Europe, so there’ll be no real conclusions by our evening anyways. But I’ll have to find some things to keep me from spiraling at work tomorrow. One thing I’m dreading is our landlord needs to come by our place sometime this week to look at some maintenance stuff, and he has really strong, half-baked opinions about US politics and will talk your ear off about all his feelings if you’re not careful. Not looking forward to that, although he seems to restrain himself more with me than with my poor husband, who frequently gets cornered for an hour or more when he goes to pay the rent. Planning to be very busy with work when he shows up.

  5. Bookworm*

    A large part of my department and the one we work closely with are aged 25-30ish. They keep saying they’re going to call off Wednesday through Friday. Management is just laughing. These coworkers are tied into huge knots of anxiety. I strongly suspect they WILL call out, regardless of the election result. I’m not happy as I’m going to end up covering for these anxious coworkers if they do call out. This kind of think doesn’t make me anxious. I’ve been a news junkie for years. Election night is like my Super Bowl. It’s fun! I suspect it’s something generational. I’m early GenX. I don’t know anyone my age who is tied up in knots.

    1. Justme, The OG*

      I think most women and people from minoritized groups are tied up in knots right now. I’m an Elder Millennial who *used to* love elections. This isn’t fun because I may not have rights as a single parent depending on the outcome. I am petrified. This is not generational.

      1. IowaWillGetBetter*

        I’m trans and in a bit of a panic right now as is my spouse and we’re doing all we can not to pass it on to our young kids.

        1. Justme, The OG*

          Can I give you internet hugs? This must be really hard for you.

          I have a 16 year old mixed race daughter who chose this election to be politically aware. I’m so glad it finally happened but this year of all of them? It’s making me more anxious.

        2. Tech Industry Refugee*

          I have someone very close to me who is trans, and I am also panicking. I am also queer but not visibly (in a hetero relationship, cis woman). Just terrified for those of us who are not white cis men. It’s like 2016 all over again.

        3. hopeful but only just*

          Trans hi-five of solidarity and nerves. My spouse and I (nb and trans respectively) are trying our best to keep ourselves calm. I’ve been lowkey stockpiling my HRT for months just in case, despite being in a pretty safe state. Not to pile on this commenter but absolutely nothing about this is fun.

      2. Steve*

        thank you. You said it better than I could. I’m 60 and in knots. This isn’t fun. I may not have rights as a gay man. I will certainly at least lose the right to marry, but if Proj 2025 is implemented, I won’t be able to get a job. I don’t understand how anyone ISN’T petrified.

      3. The Original K.*

        Black childless elder millennial woman here. I’ve been anxious and scared for … I don’t even know. Ages.

      4. I'm A Little Teapot*

        This. There’s a lot at stake. The news articles coming out of certain states/topics make that very clear.

      5. Bruce*

        I’m a late Boomer and I have kids who are targeted by the rhetoric from one side, also can remember attending segregated schools and other not so great things from the old days. So yeah, stress city!

    2. Ask a Manager* Post author

      It’s not generational.

      I used to love election nights too — made a spreadsheet of electoral college counts and would manipulate it all night long and loved it. But it hasn’t been fun in years; the stakes are too high for too many people’s lives.

      1. Slow Gin Lizz*

        I will say, as a fellow Gen Xer myself, that I feel for Gen Z because such a large percentage of the elections they’ve been aware of have been fraught in a way that earlier elections I’ve lived through were not. I feel badly for them that things have gone downhill so quickly with people yelling about election fraud and fake news and social media shaming (thinking of the GA election workers who just won Giuliani’s house in that lawsuit) so I get why they are super stressed out about this election; they’ve never known a pre-digital age election. That said, I am also super stressed out and the friend I have who seems the most stressed out to me is a late baby boomer, so…no, it’s definitely not generational.

      2. Sola Lingua Bona Lingua Mortua Est*

        I feel like the elections have (ironically) gotten smaller, too, as their consequences have ballooned. 300-400+ of the 538 votes are pretty much not in play; it’s just a handful of states. If you don’t live in one of them (or even if you do)…

        It’s become like watching a movie you’ve seen a dozen times already. And lately, a horror movie at that–without the cold comfort that the movie’s not really real.

        1. Lady Kelvin*

          What’s unfortunate, in my opinion, is that those votes would be in play if people actually voted. But with ~30% of our population not voting we end up with only a few states determining the outcomes. Some states are won by 1000s of votes, and yet 10s of thousands of eligible voters didn’t bother. I wish we had mandatory voting laws.

    3. Telephone Sanitizer Third Class*

      People whose human rights depend on the outcome have a damn good reason to be worried.

    4. Aquamarine*

      GenX here, and sick with anxiety. In the past this used to be fun for me too because I knew things would be (relatively) okay no matter how an election turned out. There’s nothing fun about it now – the consequences are way too serious.

      1. Kyrielle*

        GenX here, same. Some sub-races are kinda fun (there are a couple measures in my area that are interesting but not high-stakes, and at least one group of candidates of whom the worst is ‘pretty decent’ and it goes up from there), but *most* of the races and the biggest ones? Scary. Mostly not for the impact to me personally (though I am a cis female, and haven’t hit menopause, so not entirely safe-feeling), but worse for way way way WAY too many people I care about.

      2. Ellie*

        Yes, absolutely, the consequences are grim. Ukraine is probably the biggest issue where I am, we all know what will happen there.

    5. leslie knope*

      The American Psychological Society found that nearly 7 in 10 American adults reports significant anxiety about the election, so your generational dismissiveness is both unkind and wrong.

      1. I'm all for attribution*

        Thank you for quoting an appropriate, respected, non-partisan source. I was able to google this and found that they have a page for resources for election stress. I will post the URL in a reply.

    6. I don't think it's generational...*

      Millennial here, but I work with mainly GenX people, and they are all very tied up in knots about this one. In fact, they’re much more prone to talk about the election stress they’re feeling than I am, because I am a more reserved person than they are. It’s not generational.

    7. Jessica*

      GenX here and I’m terrified, which I think is a rational state of mind right now for Americans of any age. I’m struggling to imagine the combination of privilege, indifference, and sheer obliviousness that would make someone feel like this election was “fun” like watching a sporting event. Give your coworkers a break; they may be anxious Zoomers but at least they had the sense to recognize we all have skin in the game.

      1. WillowSunstar*

        Extremely concerned here also, single childless woman over 40. I’m trying to think positive, but it is definitely challenging.

    8. Bunch Harmon*

      My spouse is a Gen X and I’m an elder Millennial. We’re terrified and definitely tied up in knots, and our close friends are the same.

    9. The Unspeakable Queen Lisa*

      Wild. I’m young GenX and I’m terrified. I literally moved to a different part of the country because I was afraid of what might happen to me in the part I was previously living in. I guess you think it’s not real and that’s how it’s “fun”? Did you think Jan 6 was fun? People died.

      Because we may not have a democracy anymore and that has real consequences. No matter how the election goes, I expect violence. It’s going to be very bad in some places.

    10. BethRA*

      I am older Gen-X and I am ABOLUTELY tied in knots right now, as are many of our friends.

      So no, not a “generational” issue.

    11. Dark Macadamia*

      It must be nice to feel there’s so little at stake for you or anyone that matters to you.

      1. Antilles*

        Ironically, even if you *think* it won’t have an impact directly on you personally, four years is a long enough time that it likely will.
        Before the 2000 election, there was a very common talking point about how the election was relatively low stakes and there wasn’t that much difference between Bush and Gore; it’s not like we’re picking a President to lead America through a war or major recession or international crises or anything. Until things changed and it turns out that we were indeed picking a President for all of those.

        1. Dark Macadamia*

          Honestly it doesn’t even matter if it ends up affecting each individual personally. Have some empathy for the many, many people who will certainly be impacted in disproportionate, life-altering ways.

        2. Resident Catholicville, U.S.A.*

          The big debate in 2000 was about how dumb Bush was and how boring Gore was. But I was 20, West Wing was on air, and politics were big in the campus house I lived in. So, the election was front of mind that year. One of my friends was from an Arab country, visiting my Midwestern city and basically living an amazing life here, and he looked at me one night and said, “If Bush gets elected, I’ll probably be deported.” Fortunately, that didn’t happen. Even now, with post-9/11 hindsight and the destruction that wrought for people in both America and the Middle East, I thought it was very personal given that this person was an amazing human and I only wanted the best for him.

          Politics has never been “fun” for me and I don’t understand the sports-like mentality surrounding it. It’s our literal lives at stake.

          1. Slow Gin Lizz*

            Politics has never been “fun” for me and I don’t understand the sports-like mentality surrounding it. It’s our literal lives at stake.

            Hard same. I HATE what the media and the 24-hour news channels have done to politics. Not that I would want to go back to any pre-TV/radio era (because boy did they have problems!), but at least people had a chance to cool down before blasting their opinions via newspapers and letters.

          2. CheeseHead*

            I find it troubling how much ink we spill on polling results and how little on relevant experience or ways they’ve dealt with challenges in the past. Whether their handling of the economy is popular with [weirdly specific demographic in Wisconsin] is a terrible way to evaluate a candidate for an important job, particularly when presidents don’t actually affect the economy much!

            I also wish there was more information on local candidates. I know hardly anything about my state representative, even though he votes on laws that affect my employment.

            1. Resident Catholicville, U.S.A.*

              Down ballot voting is SO important but also so rough! A lot of times, there just isn’t info on a candidate to get a good sense of who they are and what they stand for. That said, I use vote411.org to get a bunch of my info- they list candidate education, endorsements, party affiliation, and they send a questionnaire to candidates to get their views on various topics. Super helpful!

              1. Nobby Nobbs*

                Even if the candidates don’t answer the questionnaire, and they often don’t in my district, you at least get a starting point to google from.

                1. Resident Catholicville, U.S.A.*

                  And…vote411 is run by the League of Women Voters, a pretty large, influential non-partisan voting group. If a candidate chooses to ignore their questionnaire, as did at least a few of the candidates in my area did this year*, that’s a red flag for me- in my opinion, the least you can do is fill out that questionnaire and get that very basic info out to voters.

                  *It took me an hour to go through all the races and candidates last night! So many races this year!

      2. Hell in a Handbasket*

        Not to mention…I’m a cis white woman past childbearing age so I don’t think anything horrific will happen to me personally, but I’m still a nervous wreck because I’m not, like, a sociopath and I care about others besides myself and my immediate circle.

        1. MotherofaPickle*

          Same. Cishet, white, well-educated, past child-bearing age, stay-at-home mom of two boys.

          I am TERRIFIED what hellascape mess my children will inherit. I am very, very good at compartmentalizing, though.

          1. SarahKay*

            I’m also a cishet, white woman, and to top that I’m in the UK, but I’m still worried about the results of the US elections.
            The consequences for so many people in the US could be so dreadful, and then there’s what’s likely to happen in the wider world; I can’t imagine how this can be thought of as ‘fun’.

        2. Bitte Meddler*

          Solidarity. I’m an older Gen-X, cis-het, white woman who is childfree by choice, and I am close to being frozen with fear about what could happen to our nation if this goes the wrong way.

          I have friends who have had to move to safe states to protect their trans children. I am still stunned that they have every right to be afraid for their and their children’s lives if they stayed in my state.

          I am still stunned that women in my state are dying and coming very, very close to dying because the politicians won’t let doctors practice scientifically-backed medicine.

          I know my life won’t change in the immediate turn, but a government that “protects women whether they like it or not” will put chains on white women, too.

          1. BellaStella*

            This is very well stated and I am also a GenX white woman, childfree by choice (with cat too) who is very concerned. But I did 200 postcards and voted early and am trying to stay calm for my younger women cousins and friends, for a trans friend and lgbqti family and friends and for my older social security receiving family too.

        3. Irish Teacher.*

          I’m in Ireland and…I wouldn’t say I’m really stressed but…I certainly don’t see it as fun. I know too many people in America that have skin in this game and also America is powerful enough to affect the world beyond itself. I find our own elections fun because…well, Fianna Fáil, Fine Gael, Sinn Féin…their policies are all relatively similar and it will be a coalition anyway, so there is a good chance that even if Fine Gael, as seems likely, becomes the biggest party, whoever is in coalition with them will demand some concessions for the groups they overlook. B

        4. Catagorical*

          Me too. And a surprise this year, in my late 50’s, I needed a low dose pill of one of the abortion pills to get a uterine biopsy. So, if those pills were banned, even a post-menopausal female could be directly affected.

      3. goddessoftransitory*

        Right? Like so many people I know who honestly think “nothing will really change.” It’s like they’re in a selective coma.

    12. M2RB*

      I’m an Xennial, born in early 1980, and I am terrified. Less terrified for myself but very worried for my friends who are minorities. I’d recommend that since you seem to have the bandwidth to consider this “fun”, you keep your mocking to yourself and bear the burden your affected coworkers can’t carry right now.

    13. Decidedly Me*

      Most people I know (across many generational groups) are terrified, myself included. There is a lot on the line, scary things happened last election, and there are pretty clear signs that similar things will happen again.

    14. Beth*

      How does this not make you anxious? So many people are directly threatened by the outcome of this election–I don’t love either candidate, but one is directly threatening to take away basic rights from women, LGBTQ+ people, racial minorities, religious minorities, and many other groups. Even if you’re one of the rare few who isn’t personally threatened here, it’s shocking to me that you don’t understand why others are scared. That’s really unkind and shows a massive lack of empathy.

    15. LW*

      I am a GenX who submitted the question, so there you go.

      My management is being super cool about it. I work for a company that does work to support a specific minority group. While we are remote and spread around the world, they recognize that the outcome will effect the entire world. My direct manager said all of her US employees mentioned that they expect to struggle this week and that we should take things as easy as possible, including time off if needed. (We have unlimited time off and flexible schedules, which actually works extremely well for us.) Unfortunately, the clients I personally support still have deadlines they are trying to meet so I don’t feel I can take much time off.

    16. Fixyourhead*

      Hi! My mom is gen x and she is extremely anxious about this election. So am I, a millennial!

      Here’s what’s at stake for me: my spouse is an immigrant from a region that previously fell under a travel ban :) his family is still mostly there. Also, we would like to start our family next year but will not do so under the threatened national abortion ban as I do not want to bleed out in a hospital parking lot if something goes wrong :). Also, we both have complex health needs and would prefer not to lose access to healthcare or have our medications effed with under the direction of RF freaking K JR.

      There’s a lot more reasons to be anxious for the planet and for those we love, but those are a few reasons why we personally are nervous :) hope this helps

    17. online millenial*

      I’m wondering how many of my trans friends will have committed suicide by the end of the year, but hey, I’m glad you’re having fun treating this like it’s a sporting event. What’s it like in your bubble where you don’t know a single person who stands to lose their right to healthcare, education, or life in this country?

      1. Momma Bear*

        I agree – this is not a game. I already lost one trans friend this year. I know expats who gave up on the idea of returning home because a family member has a serious illness and our healthcare system is already perilous. There are very real reasons for many people to be afraid.

    18. Left-handed scissors*

      I’m Gen X and I’m not in a good spot right now. I’ll be okay (eventually), but if I see one more election in my lifetime where the winner of the popular vote still loses I’m going to lose it right after that.

    19. Baked Alaska*

      Every single Gen X friend I have is in knots. (I’m Gen X and I’m in knots.) Every single Boomer, Millenial, and Gen Z friend I have is in knots.

      You’re making weird assumptions about people based on a very limited data set during an incredibly challenging time.

    20. GenX*

      I’m also GenX, and I don’t think this has to do with election night in general, but the potential ramifications of this particular election night, which could have pretty serious impacts on various people. Pretty much everyone I know, older and younger, is tied up in knots.

    21. Tech Industry Refugee*

      I know Gen Xers who care very deeply about the outcome of this election. It sounds like you are in a privileged position where you don’t have much to lose. Some of us have a LOT to lose. It would behoove you to show some empathy for your colleagues.

    22. Chirpy*

      I’m a Millennial whose very first voting experience was the 2000 presidential election. Not exactly fun and games there, and neither have most of them been since.

      I do know plenty of Gen Xers that are also balls of anxiety. A lot of them have trans kids, are LGBTQ, women, minorities, and the people who care about those groups. I even know a few Boomers who are anxious. It’s not just Millennials and Gen Z.

    23. Panicked*

      I am questioning the culture of your workplace if management is laughing and you’re actively dismissing the very real impact this election is having and will continue to have on your coworkers. That doesn’t sound like a healthy workplace at all.

    24. Blue Pen*

      I’m sorry, but this is a profoundly bad, insensitive, and weird take on your co-workers—and anyone feeling anxious or scared about this election.

    25. A Teacher*

      My parents are boomers and they are terrified about what could happen. My grandmother is 89 (the lost generation) and is terrified of how it could effect her great grands. I’m a millennial with a 15 year old daughter AND a high school teacher. One party is threatening to eliminate the department of education. This election is terrifying if the results go one specific way.

    26. canuckian*

      Gen X here and in Canada: I’m not tied up in knots per se, but I am bloody worried because sadly, too many Canadians like to pretend they’re in Trump’s America. I kid you not–we have people that are flying Trump flags. I worry that the republikan poison will spread even worse up here. I worry for women, queer/trans people, POC, First Nations in the US given what’s already happened. I worry for myself and those same people here in Canada, too, after our next federal election, whenever it happens.

      It isn’t just the US that’s affected by the outcome of this election, unfortunately. As Pierre Elliot Trudeau, our former PM, once said: “Living next to you [the US] is in some ways like sleeping with an elephant. No matter how friendly and even-tempered is the beast, if I can call it that, one is affected by every twitch and grunt.”

      And if you’re not concerned…how can you even be paying attention? These elections are hardly games…history has shown that.

      1. Tess McGill*

        I am also Canadian, living in Canada, and noticing the same thing re: extreme right wing politics here influenced by Trump and I’m also terrified. And also cannot vote in your election or do anything to stop it.

      2. Kwebbel*

        European millennial here. I’m also anxious as heck right now about your election, because in many ways the outcome will affect the war going on within my continent even more profoundly than the election last year in _my own country._ I look at what’s happening just a few hours south of me and I know more people will die if a certain candidate wins – and the whole continent will be less safe.

        Hey, since you find all of this so fun, is there any chance you live in a swing state and haven’t cast your vote yet? Because I can’t vote in your election, but have a very strong desire to see one candidate win over the other. I’d be delighted to sit down with you for five minutes and try to implore you to vote for the person far more likely to respect international treaties that keep my continent safe.

    27. Elle*

      You’re getting called out pretty hard, so all I can say is I hope that you use your anxiety-free time to look into why this is a terrifying time for many of us.

    28. Former Borders Refugee*

      I suspect that the people your age that you know who are tied up in knots (and there are some, I promise you) know that you are not a good or safe person to express that anxiety to.

    29. Irish Teacher.*

      As a younger Gen X, I just want to point out that our generation was much more socialised into hiding stress and “not showing weakness.” It’s very likely you do know people your age who are “tied up in knots.” They are just less well able to express it, especially to somebody who thinks the election is “fun” and might not seem like somebody who would be sympathetic, than younger people who have better coping skills due to growing up in an era when stress and mental health issues were less stigmatised.

      1. sb51*

        Yeah, if there’s a generational difference at all, it’s in who thinks a stiff upper lip is a virtue and who thinks emotional honesty is the better choice instead.

        Not in what the underlying feelings are.

    30. Pizza Rat*

      I’m surprised you don’t know any early GenX people who are tied up in knots. There are a whole lot of us. Also a lot of every other generation out there.

      1. Bitte Meddler*

        Yeah. My mom is an Early Boomer and she’s as wrecked as I am (older Gen-X).

        My next-door neighbor is Mid-Boomer, and she’s trying to just ignore all news because it’s so anxiety-inducing.

        My other next-door neighbor is a Xennial (late Gen-X) and she is very, very anxious; especially because she has a 7-year old daughter and she is gobsmacked that her daughter now has less rights than she did growing up.

        My across the street neighbors, both late Boomers / early Gen-X, are terrified because their marriage might be made illegal. People we both know in the trans community are already being harassed by state officials. That will only get worse if the candidate who fantasizes out loud about vi@l3nce wins.

    31. Indolent Libertine*

      I’m old enough to qualify for Medicare and I’m definitely tied up in knots. You sound like a cishet white dude who’s never ever had to doubt his full citizenship, and despite claiming to be a “news junkie,” has absolutely no clue how that status would change for everyone not in your demographic if this goes the wrong way. Must be nice.

    32. Melissa*

      The results of this election have life changing impacts on vulnerable populations. I think it’s insensitive to not recognize that their anxiety is legitimate.

    33. YetAnotherAnalyst*

      I’m an elder Millennial, and I’m tied up in knots. This is the first election I can recall anyone seriously talking about rolling back my suffrage. My friend group is largely Gen X, and they’re tied up in knots, too – even if they and their families aren’t in immediate danger, we’re all anthropologists/archaeologists/historians, and we can see the clear historic parallels.

    34. I went to school with only 1 Jennifer*

      My wife is your age, and she’s a wreck right now. (I’m late-boomer and I’m also pretty anxious, and that is not my normal state at all.)

    35. Not A Manager*

      “I’m early GenX. I don’t know anyone my age who is tied up in knots.”

      I’m Boomer/Gen X cusp and ALL my friends are tied up in knots. Do you live in a world without, I don’t know, other people in it?

    36. OhGee*

      I’m directly on the Gen X/Millennial cusp (my first vote was in 2000) and everybody I know is freaked out. So.

    37. Bi One, Get One*

      I’m nearing 50. Everyone I love is queer, transgender, disabled, or some combination of the three. My friends are terrified, I’ve had to talk several of them out of self harm. It’s not generational, some of them did “die ins” with ActUp while politicians openly mused about “rounding up” gay people. We’ve been here and we know it can get worse.

    38. MollyH*

      It seems like you dropped this weird comment and ran, but –

      “Election night is like my Super Bowl. It’s fun!” is a really disturbing thing to read.

      If you think the election is “fun” because the outcome won’t affect your life, you are both incredibly privileged and uninterested in how the rest of us without those privileges will fare.

      And your management finds it hilarious that your coworkers are anxious? See above. Gross behavior.

    39. londonedit*

      I’m not even American, I live in the UK, and I’m tied up in knots because this election could well have absolutely terrifying consequences for the rest of the world, and there isn’t even anything we can do about it.

    40. Keymaster of Gozer (She/Her)*

      Gen X and not even American and I’m scared about this election.

      Because I have friends in the US and even if I didn’t I’m afraid for all the people who are facing (or have already faced) loss of rights, of humanity, of hope.

      We Brits do still care about you, we don’t want to see you fall into the kind of black holes that dot our own history or the history of our neighbours. We don’t want you hurt.

    41. Broadway Duchess*

      This isn’t helpful.

      How nice, early Gen X, that your life seems to be so disconnected from the reality that this election outcome has for people of all generations. While it probably will suck that you may end up covering for call-offs, it’s good there is a mechanism for these employees to prioritize themselves over the insensitive colleagues that they clearly face at work.

    42. STLBlues*

      It’s not “generational”…. it’s because you aren’t at risk of one outcome. It’s easy to find it entertaining when it’s not YOUR rights up for debate.

      I’m a woman who can get pregnant. This isn’t a sport.
      My sibling is trans. This isn’t a sport for them.
      My best friend is hispanic (and a natural born citizen) and is scared of what will happen to her in the event he wins; how will she be profiled in the streets, does she need to keep her daughter’s birth certificate on her to prove she was born in the states?

      If you had more empathy for people, you wouldn’t find this fun.

    43. Emotional support capybara (he/him)*

      Trans and GenX here! What’s it like to not have any basic human rights at stake in this election?

    44. Ellie*

      I’m gen X and I’m tied up in knots, and so is my husband. It’s only fun if your candidate is winning. When its this close, it’s nerve wracking.

  6. Ava*

    In the book Anne Frank Remembered, Miep Gies writes about times when office work went undone as the office was transfixed by a few important developments during WWII. This is a great read with a lot of unfortunate parallels to my life as an office worker in the 2020s. I remember that Miep did overall great work while being occasionally distracted by the fact that Nazis were taking over her country and rounding people up, and it helps me put things in perspective.

      1. Faintofheartt*

        I need to read this! We recently read The Betrayal of Anne Frank in my book club and it was so shockingly relevant to today.

  7. NoEnergyForCreativeNames*

    Internally I’ve told myself the only goal I have is getting through this week. Externally there is no flexibility in work environment to hell with this. Personally this is a heck of an election to be trans and/or the parent of trans kids.

    1. Tech Industry Refugee*

      My parents are also in that situation as parents of a trans adult. Take it one hour at a time. Know that there are other families out there who are both scared and ready to fight for trans rights.

    2. NobodyHasTimeForThis*

      Hugs. Agreed.

      I am an “aunty” to several beautiful humans who I worry about. Plus my own child who will fight to the death to protect her friends.

    3. Elphie*

      *hug*

      Parent of a trans kid, and feeling lucky that my brain has decided that it wants to be optimistic as a defense mechanism. I know I don’t have much control over that decision, and that if my brain wanted me to instead lie under the covers all day in a dark room I’d have little to no say in changing that either.

      I don’t know what comes next if the ground collapses beneath us, but we’ll be with you in that pit trying to figure out how (and WHERE) to crawl to safety.

      <3

  8. KHB*

    There was a powerful piece on Vox the other day called “How to get through election season without despair.” The tl;dr is that the things that matter the most in the world are not necessarily the things that are grabbing the most headlines. Which is not to say that the election doesn’t matter, of course – but the bigger-picture view helped me feel a lot more at peace. (For now, anyway – tomorrow night might be a different story.)

  9. Panicked*

    I plan on going on a total media blackout tomorrow. We won’t know anything until very late for almost every race and I can’t spend the day fretting over each poll/prediction. I may not be able to control the outcome, but I can control my environment. Other things I am doing:

    -Working remotely, so I don’t have to “people” as much and can avoid the news/comments.
    -Dental check up after work. It’s distracting, but good self-care.
    -Dinner in the crockpot. I planned it so that I wouldn’t have to think about what to cook and when to cook it. I’ll dump it all in in the morning and let it cook all day.
    -I have several Youtube videos I’m saving so I can watch those instead of the news.
    -My phone will be put away after work and once my family is all home.
    -I have a good book, a face mask, and lavender eye mask at my bedside so I can relax before bed.

    It’s a bit much, I know. But honestly, it’s what I need for my mental health. If it’s bad news, I’ll deal with it Wednesday.

    1. leslie knope*

      This is a great strategy, and also good to remember that we almost certainly won’t know the final result on Tuesday. Even Wednesday is uncertain — if things are really tight, PA doesn’t even start counting provisional ballots until Friday. So hold tight!

    2. Lindy B*

      I’m doing pretty much the same thing. Husband is working from home and I intend to zone out watching YouTube videos or a movie in the evening. No news for me. Husband wants to watch the news on election night. He knows I’ll be spending the evening in the bedroom alone, no news. Might even take some vitamin X and go to sleep early!

    3. Kt*

      Ironically, I have picked something complex to cook so I’ll have my attention absorbed :)

      It’s good to have a plan and useful to read about yours!

    4. FricketyFrack*

      Huh, the dinner thing reminded me that I have a big bag of green chilis I need to use. Maybe I’ll make something with them in the crockpot tomorrow, too, and then I’ll have comfort food for dinner and won’t have to stress about it. Thanks for the suggestion!

  10. jane's nemesis*

    I’m a pollworker, so my day tomorrow is going to be long and exhausting. It’s rewarding work, though, and it will keep me busy and not spiraling over the news.

    The other bonus is that I will be so tired by the end of my 17 hour day, I will collapse into bed and sleep most of the day Wednesday.

      1. jane's nemesis*

        I’m so happy to! I’ve been doing it since 2020 when most of the older folks in my area quit (because of Covid), and I really enjoy it. I love helping people vote!

    1. JR*

      High five, fellow poll worker!

      Needing to be in bed early tonight for my 4am alarm tomorrow helps me avoid news today, too.

      1. jane's nemesis*

        oh man, the early morning sucks sooooo bad. I have a hard time sleeping because I’m so worried about missing my alarm!

      2. M2RB*

        Thank you too for your hard work tomorrow!! Sending all of you my strongest wishes for easily-overcome challenges and working technology!!

    2. Lisa*

      I did this in 2020 and it is an excellent way to both be distracted from news and also feel like you are Doing Something to help.

    3. M2RB*

      Thank you for your work to maintain our democracy! I hope your day goes as smoothly as possible tomorrow and that the moments of joy (first time voters!) far outweigh the stressful moments!!

    4. National Lab Rat*

      I always tell myself that I’ll just go home and sleep after working the polls. I always end up failing. But for now, I don’t have time to worry about it, I’m too busy preparing for tomorrow’s 16 hour day.

    5. Lady Alys*

      That’s one of the great things (and there are many!) about being a pollworker in my state – we are not allowed to be on the Internet while we are in the polling place, so my phone will be in my bag or my coat pocket and I won’t know about any weird s*** going on in the world. If the predictions for turnout are anywhere close to correct, I won’t even have a spare moment to read my (paper) book!

    6. Yellow*

      PA Poll Worker here. I’m expecing to be working 6:30am-9pm. It’s going to be a long day. I’m betting we won’t know anything for “real” until the end of the week.
      I’m WFH Wednesday so I can recover, mentally and physically.

    7. SoftFundedAcademic*

      Also a poll worker. I also anticipate that I’ll collapse after my 17-hour day! Hope to have a great day helping folks vote tomorrow. (I also study extremism and political violence, so I’m very concerned but mainly about issues around ballot counting and certification.)

    8. SSC*

      Same! There is always a shortage of poll managers, so since I have the time to take the day off work tomorrow, I decided to sign up and work at a precinct tomorrow. We *should* all want a smooth and secure voting process, so I decided to do my part in helping make that happen in my community. I’m going to stay busy, meet lots of my general neighbors, and then be tired enough at the end of the day that I can fall asleep.

  11. Decidedly Me*

    Not specific to work, but self care of some kind is helpful. Give yourself something to look forward to – big or small. A walk, a favorite treat, etc.

    During work – I’m going to be taking small breaks for fresh air.

  12. Chairman of the Bored*

    I find it very helpful to think in terms of the people who lived prior to the telegram etc who wouldn’t know the results of an election until days or weeks after it was decided.

    They were able to just stay in the dark about it and live their lives until the news eventually caught up to them, and I fully intend to do the same as much as circumstances allow.

    I already voted, and although this stuff will ultimately impact all of us it’s unlikely to directly impact me in the next 4-5 days. So eff it. I’m not going to “check the news” or engage in random conversations about it unless there’s some positive practical outcome to me doing so.

    Those people whose names on the ballots sure aren’t sitting around thinking about me, right?

    1. Baby Yoda*

      Same here, nothing will directly affect me today. Or even tomorrow. So taking deep breaths and working on a Valentine novella slated for Feb 2026.

    2. not nice, don't care*

      ‘Those people whose names on the ballots’ aren’t facing their erasure from legal existence, among other things. But hey, stay chirpy.

      1. Chairman of the Bored*

        This year there’s a non-trivial chance that the loser winds up in prison, so they may have more skin in the game than is typically the case.

      2. Roland*

        I think this is a bit of a mean way to respond to someone who was sharing their way of not stressing about the election too much – the topic of the letter. They didn’t say it wasn’t an important election.

        1. Broadway Duchess*

          Agreed. COTB didn’t indicate in any way that they thought the election or associated anxiety was trivial and is actually using a pretty good framing device to get through it.

  13. Goose*

    I just so happened to have a flight scheduled for most of the day tomorrow–and I don’t plan to buy wifi.

  14. WeirdChemist*

    Oh man, flashbacks to 2020, where my boss at the end of a 7pm meeting (yes, really… I don’t miss pandemic-era academia…) said, “I’m happy to stay in the zoom if any wants to stick around to talk about the election results!”

    Never exited out of a meeting so fast lol. I was already a big ole ball of anxiety and avoiding the internet all day… we’ll see how I fare this year! Unfortunately all the work I have to do tomorrow will have me tied to my desk where it’ll be much harder to resist scrolling on my phone…

  15. Dark Macadamia*

    “The feeling that constant vigilance will somehow help is an illusion to give yourself a sense of control”

    Intellectually I know this, but it’s very helpful to see it spelled out. In 2016 I stayed up til at least 2am just refreshing results pages and what was the point of that??? (I will… probably do it again anyway, sigh)

    One of the things I am trying to remember is the idea “I know good people exist, because I am a good person.” I know a lot of other good people too. The good people will still be here, and still be good, no matter how things turn out.

    1. Slow Gin Lizz*

      I’m pretty sure I won’t even look at election results until 10 pm anyway. My senator is definitely going to win and even my congresswoman isn’t being contested, so there aren’t even any statewide results I’ll need to know about. I do care about the ballot questions but IME they don’t post those results until Wed anyway. So all I care for Tues night is the POTUS election and there’s no way we’ll know anything until after 10 anyway. And I, like you, will probably stay up way too late to keep checking the results, unless it becomes obvious that nothing will be decided that night in which case my jacked up mind might actually be so tired that I will fall asleep.

  16. Aphrodite*

    I have not seen, heard or read any news whatsoever for the last two months. Even with that,I can feel the tension. It used to be such a relief when the election was finally over but not now. I am handing out more than the usual number of my special thank you cards to random people. Plus, I am helping a very special young woman go from an hourly worker to a ful-time employee, a dream of hers. Yes, up your good deeds. Pay no attention to anything else. Spread your goodness.

    1. Left-handed scissors*

      Thank you for reminding me of this. And thank you for helping someone find FT work!

  17. Jonathan MacKay*

    As a Canadian looking in, I’m turning off my Facebook notifications for the day tomorrow as a precaution.

    1. Zahra*

      My political chatter mainly came from Twitter and I’ve going there less and less since the change in ownership. I haven’t transitioned elsewhere because I’d need to rebuild a whole network of people to follow… maybe someday!

      1. Jonathan MacKay*

        Oh yeah… I forgot that was a thing…. I don’t think I ever turned notifications on for that to begin with!

  18. old curmudgeon*

    I haven’t been able to consume any news (online, in print, on air) for close to a week now – it just triggers all my anxiety to see/hear/read the pundits punditifying. A family member who is more stress-tolerant than I am has promised to keep me informed of important updates, which is a gift beyond price.

    My self-care tricks during working hours include listening to my favorite music (lots of Bach) played very loudly, and making sure that I eat and drink only healthy substances. Sleep is especially difficult for me, but I’ve been trying hard to get at least five or six hours of sleep per night, too. For actual work tasks, I’ve been focusing on a long-delayed review of my old emails for record-retention purposes; normally that kind of thing drives me batty, but it’s the perfect task to occupy just enough of my cognitive abilities to keep the focus off what tomorrow could bring.

    Solidarity to my fellow travelers on the Anxiety Train – here’s hoping we can all soon share a giant collective exhalation of relief.

  19. Paris Geller*

    I like these suggestions–definitely going to implement some of them. I’m going to try to delete all my social media apps from my phone tonight. I’ll check in to accurate news sources occasionally but doom-scrolling does nothing but heighten the anxiety. At home I have a stack of books to read when I turn my phone off and at work I have a couple of projects I can focus on that don’t involve needing the internet so I’m going to try and throw myself into them tomorrow.

  20. Miss Chanandler Bong*

    I’m personally trying not to think about it too much. It’s not in my control. I stay off of the news in general because there’s only so much my mental health can take. I kind of scroll through headlines so I’m informed without reading every single thing.

    I think the worst has already happened for me: I’ve lost my faith in humanity. I’ve seen the worst in people. The results aren’t going to change the fact that I’ve learned there are some truly terrible people out there.

    1. Former Govt Contractor*

      “I think the worst has already happened for me: I’ve lost my faith in humanity.”

      Me too. I am horrified.

  21. Off Plumb*

    Very few people can follow my strategy, which is that I’m taking Wednesday off work and I’ve scheduled a ketamine session (I’m doing Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy for cPTSD).

    But something that actually does apply to other people is to be rigorous with basic self-care. Maintain a regular sleeping and eating schedule. Take breaks to stretch. Your brain is telling you that you are in immediate physical danger, so it will make these things hard to do, but they are vital. Look up “distress tolerance tools” and try a few until you find something that works for your nervous system.

    1. Me*

      I agree about the self care. earlier today, I was thinking about 2016 and how I didn’t want to meet my gym group the Wednesday after but I was really glad I did.

      this year I’ve got small things in my daily and weekly routine, like gym, laundry, lunch, class. I made my routines before thinking about the election and associated stress, but I’m glad that I’ve got them to help keep my life organized. I’m also thinking about making a sourdough starter so I have somewhere else to direct energy to

  22. H.Regalis*

    If you find yourself in a pattern of being unable to pry yourself away from doom scrolling/refreshing pages/obsessive thoughts, go see a counselor. I don’t mean just for the election, but for any major events or crises.

    I used to not be able to do this, but I’m on meds now and I can. I have a friend who can’t stop himself from doing this and it is consuming him.

  23. Nachochai*

    I feel bad cause if you go deep into the comments on either side, both sides are convinced that if the other party gets elected, that their lives will be ruined. it sucks and i wish that we can skip to jan already and get the torture over with.

    1. On the good side*

      Not just their lives, but people both sides believe that our entire country will be ruined, perhaps permanently, if the other side wins.

      1. Elle*

        I’m glad yall can be flippant but if you can reduce this to “lol both sides being so silly” I guess you’re not one of the people that one of those sides is literally trying to harm

        1. Invisible for this*

          Half the people in this country had their lives changed with Dobbs. I live in a blue city and a blue state, and even before Dobbs, all the Catholic-owned hospitals made getting basic healthcare extra time-consuming and expensive.

          So yeah, this isn’t a “both sidesism.” If your life is going to be “ruined” because you can’t subjugate entire groups of people and their bodily autonomy to your whims, or because “The Economy,” then maybe your scale’s off.

        2. Consonance*

          I genuinely don’t think they’re saying that. It’s simply true that feelings are running very deep right now. That’s hard.

        3. Roland*

          No one is being flippant and you’re making a big assumption. You don’t have to agree with someone to say “wow they sure do think the country will be ruined if X wins”. And saying something about the election that isn’t “I’m full of dread” doesn’t mean someone isn’t full of dread.

  24. Luna*

    I worked at a newspaper for 20 years at the beginning of my career, obviously election night was BUSY. All hands on deck, even those who didn’t usually work evenings. The elections themselves didn’t seem as fraught as they are currently, but still consequential. The work itself and the “we’re all in this together and on deadline” mood was exciting and (in hindsight) sort of fun. It also felt important.

    Fast forward, I work in a completely different industry, almost fully remote. It just so happens I’m in office on Wednesday, the first time in 2 months. I’m not expecting to feel great about the news, regardless of the actual/forecasted results. It’s going to be a mess of disinformation, lies, and nastiness. My office is not political. I have no idea where anyone’s political affiliations land. Most everyone is polite, kind, and thoughtful. So that’s a plus. I think my strategy will be to listen to fun podcasts on the commute. Silence phone notifications for anything that would pull focus to election stuff. Stay off social media. Create a bubble. Which, honestly? Will be easier in the office than at home. Good luck everyone!

  25. CS*

    Any tips for shutting down work conversations about the election after it happens? I am in Canada and have no influence over votes. However, I know everyone will want to talk about it, especially if the results are unfavourable. If that’s the case, I will have severe anxiety and empathy over the people who will be most oppressed, and since there’s nothing I can do I really want to avoid having to talk about it.

    So far I have planned to keep my office door shut. We have a completely unrelated all-office meeting on Wednesday morning and I’m dreading having to listen to people before/during breaks/etc. I will be avoiding Facebook for a few days and don’t use other social media, so that will help outside the office.

    1. WillowSunstar*

      I just say “sorry, I was raised not to talk about politics/religion outside of my family.” Works for just about everyone.

      There’s always the old blocking time in your calendar and calling it “project focus time” also, if you are allowed to do such a thing.

    2. Sola Lingua Bona Lingua Mortua Est*

      Any tips for shutting down work conversations about the election after it happens? I am in Canada and have no influence over votes. However, I know everyone will want to talk about it, especially if the results are unfavourable.

      Were there ever a time I would want to break out “not my circus and not my monkeys,” that would be it.

    3. UKDancer*

      I’ve always gone for a clear refusal to have political discussion at work. This was particularly necessary during and after the Brexit vote which was very divisive as my colleagues all had different views and the discussion got very personal and uncomfortable very quickly.

      I told my team and colleagues that whatever people thought personally the workplace wasn’t the right place to discuss it and that I was raised not to discuss politics at work.

  26. STEM and Leaf*

    The post I needed today <3

    Thanks Alison for your infinite wisdom, and to those in the US, VOTE!

  27. StrawberryWine*

    Our company kindly gave us the day off work tomorrow. I’ve already voted, so it’s a “free day” for me, but I kind of like having work as a distraction on a day like that. Unless it’s a weird event like Jan 6 (which I was actually sick for and was in bed all day and had no idea what was going on), I find the actual voting day to be better if I have something like work to distract me. Maybe I’ll go to the movies or something.

    1. Slow Gin Lizz*

      My team works with a company who also has tomorrow off. Some ppl were a little jealous, but I’m like, oh hell no, if I had the day off I’d just be stressing out completely. Although, now that I think about it, I’m not getting a ton of work done today so maybe if I had the day off I’d do something completely distracting away from my computer and not even think about the news for a few hours. Hmmm, maybe I should take a sick day….

  28. Trans and anxious*

    I ultimately decided to take my vacation time from Halloween through the end of this week, but I’ve been a ball of anxiety since long before that because of the personal stakes for me. One thing I discovered is that if I’m batching together my “catch up on the news” break, I need to schedule time to decompress after that catch-up. For a while, I was spending my entire break on reading stressful things, and then immediately going back to work stressed, and that works much less well than having even 1-2 min deliberate distraction/relaxation time after news and before working. Outside of that, making time to do fun things that require 0 human interaction, making self-care easy (premade food, go-to-bed alarms), and scheduling more therapy sessions have all been helpful. However, nothing has truly made this go away— I think all of us affected need to cut ourselves some slack, because there’s no perfect routine that will make us not stressed and exhausted when things like this are happening.

  29. WillowSunstar*

    I have been taking Linked In classes to upskill/keep my computer skills up to date. If you have it already or your company offers Premium as a perk, might be a good idea to do some training as a distraction this week.

  30. Veryanon*

    I blocked my calendar for Wednesday so that I don’t have anything too taxing going on. I live in a swing state where we can’t vote early except by mail, and I don’t really trust that process. I want to see my ballot being counted with my own eyes. So I’ll be heading to the polls bright and early tomorrow morning and then probably stress-eating leftover Halloween candy all day.

  31. Meg*

    I work directly with the public, in an area where the majority of our customers are on the opposite end of the political spectrum from me, so I booked a few days vacation during/after the election in case I can’t manage my emotions properly if one of them brings it up.

  32. Forested*

    My wife is working the polls in an adjacent small town all night, so I’ll be going it alone after work. The local pub does trivia at 8, and I’m probably going to walk up and do that so I have an actual, legit excuse to not have my phone out.

    I work for a really progressive company, and we’re all checking in and reminding each other that it’s ok to not be full steam ahead Wednesday. Whatever happens will happen, but it’s a rough time for a lot of us, given our backgrounds.

    1. Two-Faced Big-Haired Food Critic*

      I wish the freaking auto shop would give my husband back his car already. We had already committed to driving multiple people to two different polls, but we thought we’d have two vehicles between us. We’re doing it anyway, though! And we pre-voted, so we’re free just to chauffeur.

  33. Chairman of the Bored*

    Specifically when were these low-stakes “fun” elections that people keep talking about?

    I’ve been voting for more than 20 years and I can’t think of one happening during this time period.

    The guy who got elected in 2000 started two wars that killed hundreds of thousands of people. That seems decidedly un-fun and rather high-stakes to me.

      1. New Librarian*

        I mean, when I was a child in the 80’s our homework on the national election nights was to color a fun map of the USA. I guess that was fun then?

      2. Nosy*

        Our singular local ballot question is about whether or not the town should restore the public pool and people are HEATED about it.

      3. Noodles*

        Local elections are usually even more consequential (or consequential in a different way). Local elections are why my school librarian friends have had to deal with slashed budgets and book bans.

    1. Hell in a Handbasket*

      Well, it’s all relative. I was certainly no fan of GWB, but I also didn’t think he was likely to try to create a future somewhere between 1984 and The Handmaid’s Tale.

      1. Helewise*

        Agreed. A commenter above used the word consequential and I like that; they’ve always mattered and I got upset when my candidate lost, but they haven’t always felt catastrophic in the way they do now.

      2. Blue Pen*

        Same with Barack Obama and Mitt Romney. Not at all saying it was a utopia of civility then—far from it, I think that’s about when the Tea Party started burbling up?—but I don’t ever remember fearing for mine and my loved ones’ lives at the prospect of one candidate winning.

    2. MsM*

      I remember 2008 being pretty fun, but I lived in DC at the time, so that might have had something to do with it.

    3. Paris Geller*

      2012 was the first presidential election I could vote in, and while I wouldn’t say it was “fun” (I definitely had a preferred candidate), it didn’t feel nearly as anxiety-inducing.

    4. Elle*

      Fun fact: them thinking that those elections were low stakes is actually how we go to where we are now.

      1. Properlike*

        True. Only now do I understand the profound reach of Reaganomics in our political system, and how much today reflects Nixon/McCarthy tactics, but I came of voting age in the ‘90s and it was a drip drip drip of “clowns” back then. We didn’t know the power those clowns would yield all these years down the line.

      2. Katara's side braids*

        Yup. I silently think this every time that point is brought up. I get the sentiment and agree that things are much more *outwardly* tense now, but all those elections were laying the groundwork for our current situation.

    5. Chirpy*

      I mean, I remember being allowed to pull the lever of the old-school voting machines for my mom when I was like, 6, but that’s about it. And I still realized that my parents were tense about politics even then.

  34. Left-handed scissors*

    Last night I went over songs for our choir’s Christmas concert, which was a) necessary as I hadn’t done it yet and 2) long exhales turn on the relaxation response in the body.

    1. Slow Gin Lizz*

      That’s a good one! I need to practice some music for a couple of upcoming performances so I will do that tonight, but as a violist my practicing doesn’t have the long exhales that are so beneficial. Maybe I’ll listen to some music and sing along, just for fun. Also I’m going to bake cookies and listen to a Star Trek podcast.

  35. Impending Heat Dome*

    Today I spent a couple hours racing through any work that had to be done today or tomorrow. I already know I’m going to be worthless for the next couple days.

    There’s a videogame I like that’s super chill (Medieval Dynasty) and I’ll probably play a lot of that.

  36. DefinitiveAnn*

    “No amount of spiraling into anxiety is going to change the outcomes.” – Rev. angel Kyodo Williams

    1. Ginger Cat Lady*

      “No amount of quotes I read online is going to change an anxiety spiral in a crisis.” – Ginger Cat Lady

      1. LW*

        THIS. Once you’re in it, you’re in it. And it has been impossible to not be in it in this scenario if you are an anxiety prone person. Even if you’re not for a lot of people!

        1. Keymaster of Gozer (She/Her)*

          Ain’t that the truth.

          Not reading the news at all can help, sometimes, but it can also leave the brain far too much time to invent things.

          I have found one thing that helps occasionally – getting other unpleasant stuff done. Booking a smear test, checking all the tyres and oil level on the car, dealing with that paperwork or bill that was due a week ago, cleaning cat sick stains off the carpet etc. Whatever you’ve been putting off, do it.

      2. Noodles*

        Yup. Look, I’m a practicing Zen Buddhist. I’ve done retreats where I spent 14+ hours a day meditating. I also have an anxiety disorder. Quotes like that have never helped me, and often have the opposite effect.

        I’m going to be spending my time trying to be busy at tasks that don’t require much mental space. Cleaning, cross stitch, listening to/watching comfort media, maybe taking a walk. I’m not going to expect too much of myself.

  37. New Librarian*

    I’m scheduled to close my library tomorrow so I plan on finishing up a book club book and work on planning my Jan-Feb programs. I’ve also got a few extra doses of anti-anxiety meds! For after work, I have a gigantic, close to 260K word fan fic that I want to reread that I’ve been saving for this week specifically :)

  38. Becky S*

    On election day I’m hiking a beautiful NJ trail with 2 friends. We’re calling it “Liberal girls in the woods day.”
    I realize this is a short term solution, but time in the woods is cleansing.

  39. Holy Cannoli*

    I work at a historic site in DC. thankfully my regular day off is Wednesday but I expect tomorrow will be…a lot. I won’t really be able to avoid what’s happening since it directly impacts my work…which is to then try interpreting US history and government in a way that everyone will find impartial lol. so I try to focus on stories of how people have forced these institutions to become better, in the hope that if I can’t create change right now, I can at least provide a small comfort to despair.

    1. Honk*

      Oh that is ROUGH! I’m sure you’ve had so much practice that you’re brilliant at it and I love your approach. Thankyou for doing your job with kindness.

  40. Telephone Sanitizer Third Class*

    I got the hardest things out of the way early and I’ll just manage tomorrow listening to political analysis all day and jump on a livestream to see if she wins NC early or if we have to wait days for PA’s results. Telling myself I made a difference by donating, encouraging people to vote early, and writing queer books. It’ll be terrifying but recent news from ground-level operations and trusted polls is leaning in the direction of democracy and decency. Fingers crossed it’ll be a landslide and an early night!

    1. anonymous 5*

      THANK YOU for your work and also for your perspective on ground-level operations. I needed that!

    2. Stella70*

      I am voting for one “side” obviously, but to be honest, my primary hope is that it is a landslide for either side. I know that makes no sense, if my candidate doesn’t win, but I am very worried about how civility in some areas of the country will completely vanish if there are weeks of conspiracy theories, recounts, legal actions, etc.

      1. Pocket Mouse*

        Unfortunately, if one of the sides wins in a landslide, I’m afraid it would portend conspiracy theories and lack of civility becoming entrenched much more deeply and for much longer than “weeks” due to perceived legitimacy.

  41. LW*

    First, huge thank you to Alison for publishing this today – I literally sent the question this morning in the hopes that she’d be able to squeeze it in.

    Second, huge thank you to all the poll workers in the comments. Thank you for doing the work to help keep our democracy going.

    My own situation is such that I could not early vote so will be going to the polls tomorrow, and hopefully it will be an easy experience as it has been in previous years (except for a longer wait time in 2020). Unfortunately for me, part of my job lately has been doing some work for a major news outlet on their elections dashboard that will be on their site/app tomorrow. While my work on it is done as of today, I will want to check in tomorrow to make sure it’s working as expected, even if there’s nothing I can do about it at this point. That’s my own neurosis about wanting to see my work in action. I hope I can limit myself to looking only a couple of times. I asked my manager today to load me up on “urgent” work with deadlines in the next couple of days because with my ADHD deadlines are my motivator to actually get work done. So I should have plenty of things to keep me from getting sucked into it all.

    1. Hlao-roo*

      I can totally understand wanting to make sure the dashboard is working. Would it help to set certain times as “dashboard-checking times” instead of checking whenever you feel like it (which for me would quickly turn into “all the time”)? Also, plan to do something in-between checking and switching back to work–go to the bathroom, walk a lap around the building, get a coffee, etc. That might help break up any “refresh to see if anything has changed…and refresh again…and refresh one more time” cycle.

      I hope your polling place is running smoothly tomorrow.

      1. LW*

        I do work from home and have a dog – and work is extremely flexible – so I am promising myself to take the time I need, when I need it, away from the computer. And I know that the dashboard isn’t very mobile-friendly and I’ve already deleted the app off my phone, so hopefully that will keep me from checking when I’m not at the computer! Great idea for set times to check!

  42. online millenial*

    I don’t think tomorrow’s gonna be the bad day for my anxiety, to be honest–I’ve accepted that unless there’s an absolute blowout, we won’t know for sure tomorrow night. And I’m doing some calls tomorrow (ballot curing! help people who’ve already voted ensure that their votes are counted!), which I think will also help with my personal stress levels.

    Wednesday and onward, though? It feels like a black hole. My workload is pretty light this week but I truly don’t know how I’m going to attend check-in meetings and act like everything’s perfectly normal when inside I’m wondering how many friends I’ll lose to suicide or deportation or other violence.

      1. online millenial*

        Thanks! There’s still lots of opportunities for this kind of thing–mobilize dot us has tons of resources you can sign up for, even through Tuesday. Highly recommend it, if you can spare the time from work. It’s genuinely helpful, and it helps fight the anxious, helpless feelings a little bit.

        1. National Lab Rat*

          I’m working the polls tomorrow, and expect to be utterly exhausted at the end of it. It fills the need to help, and every time I can make sure a few people vote that would have otherwise been turned away, but it’s a ~16 hour day and I have to know my own limits.

    1. Telephone Sanitizer Third Class*

      Yeah, for months I’ve been seeing the calendar in terms of “before” and “after” and the after-times still don’t quite feel real.

      1. online millenial*

        Exactly this. Making plans for anytime after November 6 feels kind of wishful right now. Will I be able to spend my winter break cleaning out my closets, or will I be burying friends and fundraising to help people get out of the country? It’s terrifying.

  43. You can call me Flower*

    Here’s what helps me when I’m struggling with anxiety.

    -I delete my social media apps off my phone and leave it in another room
    -I do an intense workout that requires all of my focus
    -I work on a project that requires concentration
    -Go for a nice autumn walk
    -Focus on caring for another living thing (pets, plants, kids)
    -Make something or order something delicious for dinner and dessert
    -Breathing exercises

    You’re not alone. Please take care of yourself and give yourself some grace.

  44. Our Business Is Rejoicing*

    I am an American expat living and working in Canada (I have dual citizenship). My ballot was sent at the end of September and marked as received in October, so I have done my bit. I also have an exam tomorrow at 6 pm. I’ve had to do a media brownout over the past few days while I study (not clicking news articles, not having the CBC on in my office as I usually do–because yes, it’s completely dominating here, too, although a few Canadian topics are trickling through). Tomorrow I have the day off to study, and I plan to stick to my own music for the day.

    After the exam? I’m not quite sure. I will decide that once the exam is done.

  45. Aspiring Chicken Lady*

    I have a bottle of Madam Whiskey on my shelf to look at and know that I will have a glass when the results are in, and enough to last for at least several further shenanigans.

  46. Strange the Librarian*

    I am especially grateful this week that I work Tuesday nights. I won’t get home until after the polls close in most of the time zones, so I won’t be able to stress-watch election coverage, and can find something to busy myself. I can guarantee, however, that I’ll be fielding a bunch of reference calls about results so I can’t ignore it completely.

  47. MediumEd*

    I have been on a news diet for weeks. No radio, websites, apps, or podcasts about anything election or world event-related. I must say I am much more relaxed. I have been reading more books, and catching up on shows I have missed, and my conversations with people are more interesting when you don’t talk about politics. Just unplug for a little while.

  48. JMC*

    I am a ball of anxiety right now, and I am trying my best to just get through the day. I will be even more of a mess tomorrow. But I am doing everything I can to self soothe. Comfort food, comfort movies ….whatever it takes.

  49. gmg22*

    I could have written most of this comment word for word. I miss the adrenaline rush of election-night newspapering, but I left the biz right before — well, before our current era of “every election you feel a pit in your stomach.”

    The part where we diverge is that my line of work now is unfortunately very much dependent on politics, and the outcome will decide what my org’s work looks like (or doesn’t) for the next four years. (Think one side wants to continue to push as urgently as possible to address this issue, while the other thinks it’s “fake news.”) I think I may plan on going to the office on Wednesday, especially if things are still up in the air as they likely will be, and I suspect I won’t be alone as colleagues seek out some solidarity. My cats are lovely emotional support companions, but they also have the good fortune of having no idea what’s going on outside the house, lol.

  50. Sans Serif*

    I very recently retired. So I have to figure out how to occupy myself and not lose my mind. I think I’m going to take my car in for an oil change in the morning, and then vote on the way home. And then curl up hiding in my bed for the next 24 hours.

  51. GreenDoor*

    Have something to look forward to for after work, too. We’re planning to grill out an extra fancy dinner and then watch a family-friendly movie. Phones will be silenced. That’ll be a good Hour and a half where we won’t be interrupted with news updates.

  52. Cease and D6*

    A couple of months ago, I booked a doctor’s appointment. I thought I was so lucky to get an appointment with this very in-demand doctor for my condition, given that she usually books 6-9 months in advance. It did not occur to me until this week *why* there might be an empty appointment slot at 10AM on Wednesday the 6th…

  53. CorgiDoc*

    As someone who will be performing surgery tomorrow, you can and should still give yourself grace. Not at the expense of patients of course, but as long as your patients are still getting the best quality care, it’s okay to feel like your heart isn’t in it the same way it might be on other days. It’s okay to take stresses off your plate in other ways this week, like maybe tomorrow night needs to be a pizza night or the extra laundry might not get done. It’s okay to take time out of your day to catch up on the news or feel your feelings (just not in the OR/during patient care).

  54. Tech Industry Refugee*

    Working out every night this week outside of the house. There are no screens there so it will be a good distraction. Otherwise, just in complete knots and sick to my stomach.

  55. Lady Alys*

    Thank you to everybody who was active in writing postcards, text-banking, phone-banking, and especially door-knocking – you are leaving it all on the field and I am so grateful.

    1. Slow Gin Lizz*

      I wrote about 500 postcards this year and had a birthday postcard party where my guests wrote 150. I wish I were a more social person who could do the phone banking and the door knocking, but I hope my postcards at least will help get out the vote. This atheist’s version of a prayer, thinking about each and every single person I was writing to and hoping they were ok and that they would be ok.

    2. WillowSunstar*

      I volunteered at a local event a month or so again to write postcards. I believe ours all went to PA.

  56. Blue Pen*

    In the spirit of those leaving post-its on bathroom stalls:

    For anyone reading here, your vote is your own. It is private, and you get to exercise YOUR right to vote for the candidate you want, without any outside interference from spouses, family, friends, etc.

  57. Margaret Cavendish*

    Time is going to pass this week whether you spend it paralyzed by stress or not; you might as well choose to spend it putting good into the world.

    This is a lovely thought, thanks Alison.

    I don’t think the specific activity matters so much as making a deliberate decision to not get caught up in it all. Some people might be happier organizing their paperclip collection, while others might want to write the five-year strategic plan for their departments. I got a ton of deep work done on September 11th, because that was the thing that kept me from checking the news every two minutes.

    I imagine we’re all going to have at least half an eye on the election tomorrow, so hopefully we can all give each other (and ourselves) a little grace in the productivity department.

  58. Cat Lady in the Mountains*

    I work in a field that is heavily and directly impacted by the election results, so taking PTO is not an option and I am expected to be 110% at work over the next few weeks.

    What helps me:
    – Specific and measurable objectives, set very short-term. Like, yes this moment is huge stakes for my job, but what is the specific thing that I need to accomplish today/tomorrow/this week? Write them down and debrief with yourself on them daily – especially when you meet the objective, it’s a nice little bit of positive feedback you can give yourself when the world sucks.
    – Breaking tasks into 20-minute chunks, pomodoro-style. I can check the news after I finish this report/read and respond to this email/etc.
    – Sometimes accepting minor work consequences is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Like, I might have an awkward conversation with my boss about something I didn’t do great at because I needed time to process what’s happening in the world, oh well the world didn’t end.
    – If there’s something I know is going to be especially hard – like, working with someone who is always a jerk to me, or having an accountability conversation with my boss, etc. – it really is ok to request that it happen at a different time unless it truly is urgent and important. Like, “can we do this next week, I’m really not in the right headspace for it today” is fine for most things. You don’t have to say it’s because of the election, people have bad days for any number of reasons.

  59. Clearance Issues*

    I bring a crochet project to work on during breaks, and have a few other hands on projects for when I get home. Can’t type to search if the only thought in your head is “1 crochet 2 crochet 3 crochet”

  60. Firebird*

    I’ll be spending my free time watching rom-coms while doing crossword puzzles. I need to keep my brain super busy. There will probably be a lot of junk food, too. I’m a late boomer with kids and queer friends that I’m worried about, so I’m pretty stressed.

  61. rebelwithmouseyhair*

    The last point about doing some good in the world is very important I think. I can’t do politics, but I can do counselling and it helps me feel less helpless. I focus on what I can do not what I can’t.
    So today I didn’t save the environment but I did a bit of thinking outside the box to help someone who was all out of ideas to help a mother with her baby.

  62. FakeEleanor*

    I have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad project I’ve been procrastinating on that I plan to start on Wednesday, because I think I would still rather work on that than check the news.
    In my free time, I just started a challenging new crochet project using skills I’ve never used before (colorwork and knit stitch, if anyone is curious) and I’m hoping that keeps my hands and mind busy. And, of course, I’ll be spending tomorrow night with beloved friends, as a reminder that love and community will survive anything that happens this week.

  63. hypoglycemic rage*

    I use humor as a coping mechanism, and the only thing election-related that I am excited for are the memes.

    and also to have this whole thing over with. like I understand if it goes a certain way, there’s gonna be A Lot of Problems. but part of the anxiety for me is just not knowing, if that makes sense.

    1. Sola Lingua Bona Lingua Mortua Est*

      and also to have this whole thing over with

      My greatest comfort right now is the 2024 election season coming to an end, and the thought I can stomach the least is the 2028 election season beginning tomorrow. Solidarity.

  64. BatManDan*

    Anxiety is a response to stimulus. There is nothing the requires your response to be “anxiety;” it could be any number of other things.
    – curiosity: dig into facts, find out what your government or favored party is really up to; make a plan to vote next time as an even MORE informed voter (by the way, there are more than two parties!)
    -passion: get excited about getting other people excited about voting for what moves you
    – action: make a plan for the coming economic collapse (100% likely, timeline is uncertain) or civil war (highly likely, timeline is uncertain)
    -community: decide to look out for those around you, build a plan to bring people together instead of remaining in a silo
    -spirituality: decide to pursue / adopt a higher purpose / higher calling than what happens on this earth
    -fatalism: the two leading atheists of the current age (Dawkins and Hitchens) have concluded there is no free will, so if you don’t believe in a higher power, then it’s logical to assume that the outcome of any chain of events was inevitable. (Some will disagree with me on this last point; but it’s not MY position, so I won’t bother to defend it. But, if you’ve read Dawkins and Hitchens and want to disagree with them, I’d love to read your thoughts on it.)

    1. LW*

      Anxiety is an adrenaline response, a fight or flight response when you think something is threatening you. As many of us feel. It can coexist with many other things, including the ones you mention. It coexists with hope for me right now.

      Telling people to “just react differently” isn’t very helpful, especially once the reaction is already occurring, as it appears to be for the majority of us in the comments. Reacting differently requires things like time, practice, and therapy. I’ve had plenty of cognitive behavior therapy to try to change my reactions to things but clearly it’s not helping in this scenario. I’m glad this works for you but it clearly is not

  65. The Ginger Ginger*

    My plan is no news on Tuesday (I’ve already voted) and I’ll be at work. Tuesday night, I’m reading a book I’ve looked forward to, taking a xanax and going to bed. I took PTO Wednesday and scheduled a massage. I’ll check back in on Thursday when I go back to work. I was so distraught the last 2 elections that I’m just not forcing myself to engage with it until there are actual results to engage with and I can make plans at that point. For me, the media black out is going to be the key to not being completely freaked out the whole time.

    1. The Ginger Ginger*

      “at work” being wfh as I’m fully remote. I’m really worried about my work laptop giving me news alert I do NOT want during the day.

  66. UkieStar*

    My anxiety inducing event has been ongoing since February 24, 2022. Some days, I am totally paralyzed and I just tell my boss that I need a mental break (I do have an awesome boss, and an awesome team who’s able to pick up the slack). Most days, I just try to surround myself by a “bubble of normalcy” at work and avoid dwelling on how my world is slowly falling apart until Friday afternoons.

  67. AnotherSarah*

    HOW TIMELY. Honestly I am looking forward to tomorrow as I need to be in office and will be quite busy. Mondays, however, I wfh and I’m a wreck. Can’t focus on anything. Did give the fridge a swipe and write two emails. But woof.

  68. Public Health for Life*

    I’ve been thinking about the other side of this question – what could a workplace leader do to foster the space and grace Alison has prescribed? My team is comprised mostly of people who would likely be directly negatively impacted by a certain candidate’s election, and our field as a whole would also be set back dramatically based on the policy decisions of that potential administration. People in this field are drawn to it primarily by a passion for the cause, and all of this feels existentially threatening personally and professionally.

    I will absolutely be extending grace and have tried to push off non-essential meetings and deadlines for the team. What else might you recommend or be looking for from your leader to create a bit of breathing room at work as we all navigate this time?

    1. Dark Macadamia*

      As a teacher I am reading through a bunch of resources, particularly ones that were written about 2016, so I can have a plan for how I talk to students over the next few days. I don’t typically discuss politics with them and obviously won’t be making statements about candidates or my personal feelings, but I just have so many LGBT and immigrant tweens to support.

    2. Anne Elliot*

      I would check with your team to see what they need. I personally want a distraction and specifically told my coworkers this morning that if they want to talk to me this week, please schedule the call for tomorrow! Some members of your team may really appreciate pushing off meetings, but others might not.

  69. Twill*

    I work remote so I have downloaded some audiobooks to listen to over the next few days. It helps me to not check news updates. I also remind myself, as I have the last few elections, regardless of what happens Tuesday, I have to get up Wednesday and work.

  70. Coyote River*

    Stoicism. I simply remind myself that humanity as a whole, and myself individually, have been through more difficult times and survived. I grew up under Enver Hoxha, so I can handle whoever the current US election throws at me.

  71. Elizabeth West*

    I voted early already, a week ago. I want to follow along in the evening on Mary T.’s Nerd Avengers media feed on YouTube, but I was considering going to the office tomorrow so I wouldn’t be tempted to sneak into the living room and look at the TV. It’ll depend on how I feel when I wake up. I’m much less worried about tomorrow than about Wednesday and the rest of the week. I think it will take some time before the final results are tabulated, so I intend to pay attention to avoid any crowds, since my work is near downtown.

    Tonight I’m going to the grocery store in case I decide to hole up in here. I’ve also got a very nice whiskey that someone introduced me to a few years ago, which I’ve been eager to sample, so I’ll either have a sad drink or a happy one, lol.

  72. Professional Cat Lady*

    I help control my election stress by … working for my local Elections office. I started as a polling place clerk in 2020, and now I supervise a region of precincts in my county. Helping the process run the way it’s supposed to makes me feel better about the process (not that I thought there was anything hinky going on before, but still). Yes, I deal with some outrageous claims and unreasonable people, but I feel like I’m helping the process get to accurate results in the end.

  73. Mouse*

    I upped the dose of my anxiety meds and told my manager I may need to take Tuesday and/or Wednesday off at very short notice. Fortunately she was very understanding.

    If I manage to work, I’m going to do something that absorbs my focus, but is okay to make typos and misc errors. I’m also planning to go for several walks throughout the day to help decompress.

  74. Properlike*

    This is my kid’s first election to vote in. I’ve watched them get politically involved in a way I’d never expected. My pride in them – and their friends, and all the young people I work with who are Doing the Work – is carrying me through.

  75. Never Boring*

    I work in an immigration law practice and knew there was no way in Hell that I would be able to focus at work this week, so I took PTO a months ago for this week and next. I’m planning to be completely off-grid tomorrow to the best of my ability, preferably somewhere with no internet connection.

  76. Bruce*

    A coworker has scheduled an international call for 9 PM on Tuesday night, we’ll see how that goes…

  77. Arrietty*

    Giving yourself grace while not allowing yourself to spiral. I remember the morning after a major election result over here, I arrived at the office much earlier than normal because I’d moved on numb autopilot. My colleagues and I spent a little while talking and venting and commiserating, and then threw ourselves into our work (which was made more urgent by the newly elected government). It helped that the one person in the entire office who was known to have voted for them had taken the day off. I’m not sure I could have faced him.

    In the early days of covid, I was almost paralysed by overwhelm and fear. I’d sit at my desk for hours not able to do anything. Having scheduled appointments that forced me to think about something else would have helped, but that wasn’t how my work was back then.

    1. EvilQueenRegina*

      That was pretty much me the day after the B_____ referendum (the coworker who voted for it and supports Nigel F. didn’t work Fridays so wasn’t there, which made it easier, and with a bit of distance from it I can see now that if she had been in that day, it might have been a bit uncomfortable for her as well surrounded by people who took the opposite view). Much the same for old BoJo’s majority in 2019.

      Leaving that referendum aside, I think with the elections here it’s perhaps helped that I’ve gone into them with a bit more of an idea of what to expect than there seems to be right now (the last two elections, the polls have been pretty clearly heading one way for a while before polling day. In 2019, I got my hopes up for some kind of Dewey Defeats Truman situation instead of BoJo’s predicted huge majority. This year, I hoped there wouldn’t be one – having read up on that one since I know there were factors in play then that wouldn’t have applied anyway).

      For this particular US election, I’m hoping for it to go a particular way. But as I keep telling myself, there’s nothing I can do about this outcome. As a UK citizen, I have no vote here, it’s out of my hands.

  78. Wise words!*

    This is why I still read AAM religiously even though I’m retired. Because Alison is a good and kind human being with a lot of wisdom that can be applied almost anywhere and any time. I’ll try to be extra kind to people tomorrow even though I’m a nervous wreck.

  79. tabloidtainted*

    With family abroad in countries where my country likes to play god, I think my coping mechanism is finally just…radical pessimism? It’s weird to say because I am generally a hopeful person. The American train chugs along, whoever the conductor, and its policies in the short and long term will inevitably cause an incredible amount of suffering across the globe. Whoever wins today and in the future, my goal is to try and do good for the people who are harmed by my country, as much as I am capable of doing so, through advocacy, activism, and charity.

  80. not billy not joel*

    I co-sign the charity thing. It really helps me calm down: find a food bank and send them some bucks.

  81. tw1968*

    Years ago my stepfather died. My stepsister stopped going to work, she was completely grief stricken. Her older brother, who used to calm her down had died a few years ago, so she wasn’t able to cope (supposedly–she was well over 40 at this point). She didn’t go to work for months. She was eventually let go. I missed a few days but I also realized… (the point of my response) …that I was the main breadwinner for my family. Bills still needed to be paid, cars need gas, family needs food. LW, just keep in mind that no matter what happens, all the mundane stuff still needs to happen. Focus on that.

    1. noncomitally anonymous*

      My mantra for right now is the same as it was in 2016 – Il faut cultiver notre jardin.

  82. nnn*

    For the specific goal of staying focused on work (rather than coping more broadly), for some people and some jobs, it can be helpful to think about how the most useful thing you can do for the world in general is keep your little corner of the world running smoothly.

    Doesn’t work for everyone and doesn’t work for every job, but might help some people. I personally found this a helpful framing in the immediate aftermath of September 11. I had no clue WTF to do or what was going to happen, and I had a queue of support tickets in front of me. So I worked my way through the queue. Didn’t fix the world, but fixed a couple dozen people’s computer problems.

  83. Berlie*

    My boyfriend and I are in a cabin this week. I plan on going for a long hike tomorrow and Wednesday and ignoring the bews as much as possible. I have my laptop but clients know I will be mostly unavailable.

  84. St Krispin*

    I signed up to work the polls, so I’ll be spending the whole day actually helping people and my phone will be off and in another room until 11PM or later! (And then I will be so exhausted that when I get home I shall simply collapse into bed without looking at the news, I hope.) It’s too late to sign up to do this, but I highly recommend it next cycle to anyone who wants to Do Something — it’s a tactic that serves me well.
    It’s probably not too late to ring up your local League of Women Voters or Rock the Vote chapter and see if they need help with something though!

  85. Posilutely*

    I’m curious whether Alison means ‘drive them to polls in a car because they can’t get there themselves’ or ‘drive them to polls like a flock of geese, sort of herding people along the road’?

    1. mymotherwasahamster*

      Ok, this is legit hilarious regardless, but even more against this apocalyptic backdrop. I guffawed in the library.

    2. Miss Pickles the cat*

      There are a lot of polling places that you only reach by car, and not everyone has one. And a lot of places do not have any type of mass transit that would reach the polling places either. I know that Uber was doing some sort of free ride thing during my states primary; I’m not sure if they are doing it on election day.

  86. steve*

    I want to echo the last point, about doing something that will feel positive. For purely logistical reasons, I scheduled a platelet donation for Wednesday, only to find that it’s really comforting to me to know that, whatever happens, there will still be people that need a kind of help that I can provide.

  87. Brain the Brian*

    How I wish this advice was relevant for me. I work in downtown DC, directly across the street from a major news network bureau, in an industry likely to be heavily impacted by this year’s election regardless of who is in the White House on January 21st — the election will determine how, not if, we are impacted. My office has issued WFH directives this week because of potential security threats on Wednesday and Thursday, and I know some coworkers want to go into the office anyway. Gah.

    I am seriously considering changing careers and moving cities because I simply cannot take this every four years anymore. Sigh. Hugs to anyone who needs them.

  88. Tony Howard*

    In general, people spend way too much time in the news media feeds. This is the cause of stress. By definition, news is negative. Just think for a minute , how many positive stories did you read or saw about either candidate ? Or look at it this way: every day, approximately 100,000 airplanes take off and land safely all around the world. But the one plane that crashes ? And kills 100 people? Will be on the news for weeks. Remember the old newspaper adage “if it bleeds, it leads”. And local news? Forget about it. They might as well call it “Today’s Crime Report: All the murders, rapes, muggings and armed robberies brought to you live in the next 22 minutes!”

    By my oncologist ‘s orders, I had to “de-stress” when I was diagnosed with cancer in 2015. I shut down my social media accounts and gave up cable news. Highly recommended!

  89. Arts Akimbo*

    Fantastic advice. Good for all of us, but most of all I’m going to share it with my son. It’s amazing how sensitive children can be to what’s going on it the world, and he has been having a hard time with anxiety. I’ve been looking for different ways to say that once you’ve done all you can, sometimes the best thing you can do is unplug and protect your own mental health.

  90. Illusion*

    “ The feeling that constant vigilance will somehow help is an illusion to give yourself a sense of control, but it doesn’t actually change anything; all it does is keep you in a state of stress.”

    I didn’t even realize this is what I was doing, but 100% this is what I do every time. Oh boy, I need to let go a little.

  91. Elphie*

    I need to be cautiously optimistic, as a defense mechanism. My daughter is trans and if things don’t turn out well we, without any clear path to legal emigration anywhere, will need to figure out how to emigrate. And probably in a hurry. That’s too big and scary and life altering right now, and if it comes to that IDGAF about my job because I wouldn’t be able to take that with me. So this oddly adds up to being mildly distracted the way I would be the morning before an afternoon holiday celebration or something. Getting done what is necessary, feeling okay about not being 100%, etc. If we wake up to bad results tomorrow, I mean I guess I’ll probably remember at some point to text my boss and tell her I’m taking PTO, but for the most part it will be way too low on my list of concerns to matter to me.

    1. Elphie*

      Okay, NVM. The physical sensation of fullness after eating lunch has triggered the latent anxiety and queasiness that was just under the surface of my “optimism”. That’s all it took.

      I think I’m going to lift my standing desk and blare some music through my headphones and hope a postural change and too much sound to allow my mind to wander too far are enough to allow me to get stuff done this afternoon.

  92. the cat ears*

    noticing a lot of this pattern in the comments:

    A: I find xyz helps me not stress out so much about things I can’t control, or I have abc observation about the election that isn’t directly condemning The Other Side

    B: must be nice to be privileged enough to feel anything other than utter despair, or to observe things other than “the other side is wrong and will cause terrible problems!”

    I’m not gonna try to address the B’s in this conversation, but if you are part of group A and feeling guilty about reframing, refocusing, or finding some broader perspective: you get to have whatever thoughts and personal habits help you get through this. Maximizing your misery as you wait for results isn’t gonna help anyone, it’s not gonna block any discriminatory laws or save anyone from bigotry or restore any resources that are being cut.

    For today/this week: do whatever you can to vote and help others vote (if you haven’t already) and be kind to yourself and those you come into contact with. For after that: figure out what concrete actions you can take that will cause material benefit or prevent material harm, and commit to doing something materially helpful at a level that you can sustain as long as it is needed. This will be a tiny, tiny fraction of what is needed in the world, and you will probably feel bad about the many issues you choose to neglect in order to focus on one or two where you can have an impact.

    But it is fine and healthy to have a life outside of worrying about these problems, and it’s not “privileged” (in some morally bad way) to do what you can to feel better or put things into perspective. It’s a necessity as someone who cares about others and will burn out if they’re not careful.

  93. Jaunty Banana Hat I*

    I plan to spend a large amount of time playing with both my foster kittens and my own four cats, including taking my youngest (he turned 9 months yesterday!) out on his harness for a walk until it’s too dark/cold to stay out. I will almost certainly be glued to the TV once results start coming in, and I have lots of leftover Halloween candy to stress eat while I watch.

    1. Tech Industry Refugee*

      Aww! Kitties are the best companions. I have two grown cats and feed some stray kittens (strategizing to trap them and TNR mama soon). I hope the little one enjoys his walk.

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