is it better to quit without another job or be fired?

A reader writes:

Which would make it harder to get another job — quitting without another job or getting fired?

If you have a job where requirements have changed radically and unreasonably, where every day is a nightmare, and people with long track records of good work are being threatened with being fired, I know that getting fired means you at least get unemployment compensation. And it seems that you’d have to explain either quitting without a job or getting fired to a potential employer. So is there any reason to quit before you’re fired? Or it’s the same, either way?

It varies depending on the circumstances.

If your finances dictate that you’ll need unemployment benefits, then quitting without another job lined up may not even be an option.

But if your finances allow you to quit and you’re truly miserable, you’re usually better off quitting. First and foremost, it’s better your mental health. But also, it’s easier to explain leaving without another job lined up than it is to explain a firing.

There are plenty of ways to explain a firing too — being fired doesn’t make you unemployable — but it raises more concerns for most interviewers, and will usually require more of a explanation, than simply leaving will do. It’s more likely to make interviewers worry that whatever was behind the firing will pop up as an issue at the new job too — that your skills might not be as strong as you’re saying they are, or that you have trouble getting along with people, or on and on. Any decent interviewer knows not to assume that’s the case — just because one job wasn’t the right fit doesn’t mean that other jobs won’t be, and you might not even be the cause of whatever went wrong — but it raises questions that you’re better off not raising if you can avoid it.

So all else being equal, it’s better not to be fired if you can avoid it. But it’s also not the end of the world if you can’t avoid it.

There’s also a middle option that can work in some cases but not all: if you know you’re not meeting your boss’s expectations and don’t think that’s likely to change, sometimes it makes sense to have a candid conversation with your manager about that reality and agree on a planned transition, where you’re not being fired but you both decide it makes sense to set an end date. In the kind of situation you described with what sounds like punitive management, this may not be a wise option, but it can work when you have a reasonable boss who sees it as the best option for you both. More on how to do this here.

And some other relevant columns:

how to explain you were fired, when interviewing

how to explain to your interviewer why you left a previous job

how to explain to interviewers that you left a job due to burnout

a happy ending: I quit my job without another one lined up

{ 79 comments… read them below }

  1. Annony*

    Timing also matters. One advantage of leaving before being fired is that it could help with references and whether you are eligible for rehire. Quitting the day before you are fired probably wouldn’t help much but if you quit months before you would be fired, before you have bad performance reviews or get put on a PIP it could matter.

    1. pally*

      My sister was facing job termination over excessive absences.

      Apparently, termination was a long, drawn-out process. She remained employed while the termination process played out.

      Initially she figured that she’d wait for them to fire her. The union rep implied that sometimes the company never actually gets around to executing terminations. Ahem, sometimes.

      During the discussion with her union rep, she also learned that getting fired meant the complete forfeit of her retirement pension. Something that had been growing for the entire 20+ years she’d been working at that job. A substantial sum. She didn’t realize this.

      So she quit. And salvaged her pension.

      1. Watry*

        Almost the exact same thing happened to my mother, who retired rather than be fired. The union rep said they’d likely win her case (it was a blatant attempt to push out a long-term employee) but that it likely wasn’t worth it since she was ready to retire anyway. She got a new job after taking a break.

      2. Goldenrod*

        OMG! Okay, this would definitely be good information to find out. I’m glad your sister figured it out in time!

      3. Radioactive Cyborg Llama*

        In most cases in the U.S., people can’t lose a pension after 20 years–ERISA has a graduated vesting schedule that would have someone full vested after 6 years and partially increasingly vested for years 1-5. Don’t think this applies to a pension not covered by ERISA, such as state employees.

        1. pally*

          I don’t know the specifics as to what my sister’s pension rules entail. I just looked up where she worked (it was a big, big company) and read that “some of their pensions are covered by ERISA”. I know she also had a 401K in addition to the pension. Not sure how big that account was. And I couldn’t tell you any more details.

          It is something folks might check into before deciding whether to quit or get fired. And be sure to learn all the rules before taking action.

  2. Strive to Excel*

    I thought that being fired for cause makes one ineligible for unemployment? Or am I misinformed?

    OFC this is going to vary country by country.

    1. Willow*

      Fired for misconduct makes you ineligible. The employer has to prove that there was actual misconduct, they can’t just say there was. If you’re fired for not being good at the job or because the employer doesn’t like you or most other reasons, you’re eligible.

    2. Ask a Manager* Post author

      There’s some variation by locale but typically in the U.S. if you’re fired for misconduct (like insubordination), absenteeism, or breaking policies, you won’t be eligible for unemployment. But if you’re fired for performance (you were trying but couldn’t meet the bar they wanted), you’re eligible.

      1. Statler von Waldorf*

        It’s very similar in Canada, except it is all run by one federal agency (Service Canada). If you are fired for misconduct, you usually don’t get employment insurance. Misconduct covers a variety of things, including: absenteeism, insubordination, tardiness, acts of violence, drug use, criminal offences, etc. It also includes actions that you take outside the workplace, which I have seen bite some people over the years.

        Misconduct does not cover incompetence or unsatisfactory performance, unless the company can actually show that you were willfully being incompetent, which is a difficult thing to prove. Most companies don’t fight it though. In Canada, what a company pays for EI has nothing to due with previous claims, so there is almost no incentive to fight about it. The company pays the same percentage of their payroll to EI whether they lay off hundreds of workers a year or whether they have never fired a single employee, so who cares what they do after you let them go is the usual attitude.

        This only applies to employment insurance though. You can get fired for misconduct and still receive parental, sickness, or compassionate care benefits from Service Canada if you qualify for them.

        1. Expert Paper Pusher*

          I initially read this as “It also includes actions that you take outside the workplace, people who I have seen bite some people over the years”, which made me have so many questions about your job.

      2. Caleb (he/they)*

        I don’t know if you’ll be able to answer this or not, but I’m suddenly wondering if I may have interpreted the unemployment laws for my state (Washington) too literally? Our unemployment website states:

        “You may qualify for benefits if your employer fired you for no fault of your own. For example: You did not have the skills to do the job.”

        I’ve interpreted that very literally as “you may qualify for employment only if there were specific hard skills required to do the the job that you did not possess, e.g. they needed someone proficient with Photoshop and you were not; if you were technically capable of doing what they needed and just didn’t meet their standards, you’re not eligible”. Is this supposed to indicate that just being fired for performance is also a potential reason why you can apply for unemployment?

        (I’m not sure how much it matters on a practical level, since at least in my area unemployment can be notoriously hard to get and denials are very common, but I’m just trying to figure out if I’ve misunderstood the rule itself or not.)

          1. Caleb (he/they)*

            Thank you! It will probably not surprise you to hear that I am autistic, lol. Good to know that I’ve been interpreting that much more literally than I should have been!

          2. Curious*

            I think that they are using the word “skills” in the sense of general competence or ability, rather than expertise with respect to specific tools.

      3. James*

        We ‘fired’ our nanny for traveling to another state during strict covid travel ban in our state. There were other issues (attending dinner with large groups, otherwise making us feel our kids weren’t safe) but this was the main one. I was angry at the time and said we wouldn’t pay unemployment benefit if they filed because we felt this was for cause, since it was breaking a state law (we had been doing everything by the books in terms of salary). We kept screen shots of theirs texting they would travel out of state because nobody can stop them etc. In the end they didn’t file for unemployment but did ask us for a reference later, which seemed very odd. Was this the correct interpretation in California for firing with cause, I wonder. It certainly would have been better for us if they had quit, and I think for them too.

    3. Slimboy Fat*

      I think it’s more a case of terminology. “Fired” tends to be for people who were terminated from their role with cause–i.e. insubordination, violence, etc. If you apply for unemployment in those instances, there’s a good chance your claim will be denied.

      A lot of times people say they were “fired” but really they were “terminated” or “let go”–maybe it was budget cuts, performance issues, the company was moving in a direction that had no need for your role anymore, your supervisor just wanted to get rid of you in an at-will state and was smart enough to not tie your termination to a protected class, etc.
      If you were to apply for unemployment in those circumstances, you could probably be approved.

      However, YMMV, I’m not an employment lawyer, this varies by state, I’m only talking about the US, etc.

      1. Ask a Manager* Post author

        Typically “fired” is used when you were let go for a reason related to you/your work/your conduct. “Laid off” is financial/restructuring; they don’t plan to refill the position right now. “Terminated” or “let go” covers either of those.

    4. Tupac Coachella*

      Not necessarily, but it can make it a much lengthier process (this is actually what I came to the comments to say). I’ll preface this by saying that I worked in unemployment support a really long time ago, and it tends to be much more variable than one would think, but this general idea seemed to be a common theme across multiple states that didn’t change too much over time:

      In many US states, “fired with cause” is ineligible for unemployment, but determining that someone was fired with cause requires the employer to provide some kind of proof, and a lot of them just…don’t. In my state in the 2010’s, you had to say you were fired on your application and give a brief overview of what happened (same with if you quit). Then you were typically denied regardless of what you said, but then the nice people at the UI office (i.e., me) would tell you to appeal and help you through the process-we’d even fax your paperwork for you. While this works out for the employee more often than I expected (the adjudicators tended to lean toward the employee in appeals, not necessarily true everywhere), it takes a while. If the employer didn’t fight it, the appeals process still delayed the approval by at least 2 weeks on top of the normal timeline. If the employer did fight it, it could drag out for weeks or even over a month if they were nasty or the case was complicated-a ‘constructive firing’ would be an example of complicated, like a lady I helped whose job intentionally added unrelated duties to her work that they knew were physically almost impossible for her to keep up with until she felt like she had no choice but to quit; think an office manager being asked to do roofing work. Add in the 1 week waiting period in my state, and the unemployed person sometimes had a new job before they got their money. Now, they got back pay, but that doesn’t help when you’re trying to keep the lights on until your first paycheck. IME, “laid off” is the only category that generally went through without much explaining, but you do not want to lie about that-if you say you were laid off, start getting money, and your employer contests it, you could be on the hook for everything you received. Generally the application asks a bunch of questions to help determine what category you fall into and get the information they need to review it if it’s anything but laid off. (In my state, laid off basically meant that your job wasn’t there anymore, seasonally or permanently. If that wasn’t the case, you pretty much were fired or quit, and both required review.)

      So, TL:DR, if you’re expecting to file for unemployment after being fired, expect delays beyond what the website or representative tells you. You’re in a better position if you can find a way to be eligible to be considered laid off (criteria depends on the state.)

      1. Peanut Hamper*

        Yep, I’ve seen a few times in my life where an employee was fired for cause, and denied unemployment benefits, but ended up getting them after an appeal because the employer didn’t jump through the correct hoops during the appeal process.

        All of these times (except for one), though, the employee was not really screwing up; the manager just didn’t like the person and wanted them out.

    5. Aggretsuko*

      Per a friend of mine who’s been fired/laid off quite a lot from the CA tech industry:
      (a) You don’t automatically immediately get unemployment if you’re fired like if you were laid off.
      (b) EDD will check with the employer as to whether or not they are on board with you getting unemployment.
      (c) She said that everybody just let her have it and didn’t fight it. This last part sounded shocking to me, but she’s worked at almost all of the famous big tech places and I guess they don’t care so much?

      1. RedinSC*

        The thing in CA is that UI nearly always comes down in favor of the employee in these cases. Other states maybe not so much. Often employers will say, we’re firing you for cause and if you leave quietly we’ll not contest unemployment.

        1. RM*

          Contrary to stereotypes, Texas is also generally known for settling in favor of employees’ UI. Not sure if we have stricter rules about what UI can be denied for, or tons of employers firing off the cuff and trying to spuriously prevent those people from getting UI.

      2. Kay*

        c: The burden of proof is on the company to show the firing was for a reason that makes you ineligible (as noted above just because you were fired doesn’t automatically make you ineligible). If you should qualify or if they don’t have sufficient documentation to easily show it companies will let it go.

  3. Government Worker*

    If you’re fired for cause, you aren’t necessarily eligible for unemployment anyway, so don’t bank on that. (pending state laws, etc etc)

    1. Sloanicota*

      also a job that is annoyed with you may be more likely to dispute your unemployment; if you can leave on decent terms they may skip that.

    2. Roland*

      That really depends. As Alison says above, in many US jurisdictions you are eligible for unemployment if you were fired for not being good enough at your job (vs embezzlement or smth)

  4. Education Mike*

    I was able to make the third option work for me. My boss and HR agreed to officially lay me off. I collected unemployment and was able to talk about things in a way that saved face.

    I do think it helped that I was hired essentially to do one role, and then three months into the role they essentially decided they wanted something fairly different. That’s the risk of a new role at a start up, I guess? It still felt like a major failure. I hobbled along, very very miserably, for the rest of the year. When they re-listed “my” role, it was with a different title. They also fired their new hire very quickly. *Shrugs* Not having to tell myself (or admit to others) I was fired did help with the hit to my mental health it all took.

    1. ferrina*

      Yeah, sometimes a lay-off is an option. This can be a hard thing to negotiate though- if you are on PIP, or the boss disagrees about how much your job changed (it’s irrelevant if the boss is right, it’s all about what they think), or if you’re at a company that likes to fight unemployment, or if you are having performance issues (i.e., are already on a PIP or close to it).
      You’ll have better luck if your boss is acknowledging the big difference in the role, your boss/HR are already on good terms with you, and your company tends to do right by their people anyways.

    2. Le Sigh*

      I did a version of this. I wasn’t performing up to standards, they (frankly) sucked as managers, and we all knew this was a miserable situation. They were at least decent enough to have a frank conversation with me where we more or less agreed they’d give me time to find a new job and provide a good reference. I think ultimately they wanted me gone because I was a bad fit, but didn’t want to fire someone, especially someone young and broke who was trying (really, really trying) and could succeed in a different role. I hated everything about that place, but I appreciated their willingness to work with me (and the HR person who advised me on when to put in my notice so I could hold onto my insurance plan longer — shout out to her).

  5. Goldenrod*

    I think this kind of thing is so subjective too. I have been in some pretty horrid work situations, but for me, personally, the anxiety of not having a job outweighs hanging in there, even in a toxic environment. But other people may feel that the stress of keeping a job under those circumstances requires a swift exit, even without another job lined up. I respect this strategy too.

    It’s best to look out for #1. Do whatever works best for your finances and mental health. And I hope we get a happy update soon!

  6. Junior Assistant Peon*

    You can almost always make a firing look like a layoff when you’re interviewing for your next job. It’s highly unlikely that your HR department is going to dish the dirt when someone calls for a reference check; they’ll just verify that you were employed during a given date range.

    1. GammaGirl1908*

      Even if this is true, you should negotiate this upon your departure. You don’t want to get unpleasantly surprised — then you’d have to explain being fired AND lying about it.

      In my life, I have been under threat of firing twice, both times basically for being a poor fit at the job. Both times I asked to resign, got them to agree not to contest unemployment, and got them to agree to a neutral reference. These are all things that cost them nothing and got me to leave sooner and without any drama, so they agreed.

      That way I could honestly say “I decided to leave because it wasn’t the right fit” when asked about it. I would have said that same thing had I actually been fired, but the way I did it meant the job’s assessment would agree with mine if they were asked.

      (I often note that, when this happens, the job just wants you to go. They don’t want you ruined and broke and miserable and suffering. They’re perfectly happy if you keep working; they just don’t want you working THERE. Agreeing to resign moves that along painlessly.)

      1. OP for this letter*

        That’s interesting that you were able to resign and still collect unemployment. Were you officially laid off so the state was ok with it? I didn’t even know that would be an option.

        1. GammaGirl1908*

          I officially resigned, BUT had the employer agree that they would not contest unemployment. Then when I dealt with Unemployment, I said that I resigned due to an untenable working situation, and that the employer had agreed not to contest. Unemployment did get in touch with the employer to confirm.

    2. Generic Name*

      In my field, this would not be a good idea. It’s a small industry and hiring managers are generally well connected and will reach out to contacts to ask for unofficial references.

      1. Bast*

        This is true in my field/location, which can make it hard as if you are looking for a new job, as Jack from Potential New Job interviews you and knows Jill from Current Company, reaches out to ask about you on the down low, and you end up getting fired. Common scenario. Companies in my field are possessive of their employees, and often have petty rivalries with individuals in other firms. Some of these are as petty as, “I went to law school with Bob 30 years ago and he’s a good for nothing, lazy cheat.” 30 years later, they are still trying to get back at Bob. If Boss found out you interviewed with Bob, you’re gone. Bob may not talk to your firm (or he might, to rub it in your boss’s face) but he’ll make sure to tell Jane who he knows is still talking to Boss to say, “Can you believe Bast from Boss’s firm came in for an interview last week?” knowing word will get around. Depending on the company, this can also lead to Petty Boss not giving you a good recommendation because you went on to work for “the enemy.” This is also commonly understood, so references in the industry between the High Higher Ups are taken with a grain of salt.

  7. I beat a PIP*

    Sorry if this is a bit of a sidetrack, but I got put on a PIP a few years back (which despite my feelings/not-great manager was fair). I ended up meeting and eventually exceeding it. It actually ended up being a good experience and wake up call for me and my manager so was beneficial for both of us.
    Coupled with a new manager not long after, I actually ended up leaving on goods terms when I was ready with a good achievement on my CV and was told I’m welcome back at any time!

    TL/DR yes a PIP is shit but there’s still hope if your boss or HR is reasonable decent.

    1. ferrina*

      LW didn’t say if they are on a PIP or not. If they are at-will, then the company doesn’t need to put them on a PIP before firing them.

      A PIP is a valuable tool at a good company, but based on LW’s description, I don’t think this is a good company. And it definitely doesn’t sound like somewhere that the LW wants to be long-term. Beating a PIP often takes a lot of focus and energy, and LW is probably better off putting that energy into a job search.

      1. OP for this letter*

        This situation isn’t about me, but it’s about someone close to me. There are about 70-80 people in her role. Duties that were minor are now more than half the job; other parts that were 90% of their job are now supposed to be done in 1.5 days of the week. They are being asked to do things that they are not trained to do. They are being held responsible for things they can’t control. People have quit, others have been fired, and some have been warned and are in danger of being fired. The person I know has not been officially warned, but it may be coming soon. They are looking for a job, but there isn’t much out there, and they will have to take a significant pay cut to find anything. It’s a tough situation.

  8. Jonathan MacKay*

    I walked out of a job in February 2021 without a backup plan due to severe ethical concerns with business practices going on at the place I was working – I was encouraged by people better informed to apply for unemployment, despite my quitting instead of being fired. I didn’t get it, because the common practice is to get the employers side of the story, and of course I had no reason to expect them to be truthful. When they are doing things which is borderline, if not outright fraud, it’s entirely in their interest to deflect the scrutiny that may come their way.

    I ended up getting my current job the following April, after the person they had originally planned to hire couldn’t take the job for unspecified reasons – They reposted the ad on Monday, I applied on Tuesday, was zoom-interviewed on Wednesday, met in person on Thursday, and hired before I even made it home.

    It’s been good ever since – despite completing my HR certificate program, and setting out for the professional accreditation, there’s been plenty of support – even though I have been completely open about planning to move on into another field of employment.

    1. ferrina*

      Thanks for adding the dates in here- the timing makes a big difference. Your story happened during the Great Resignation, where the job market was hot. The job market has slowed significantly, so LW should weigh that factor in accordingly. The economy can make a big difference in these decisions. (I was unemployed in the Great Recession, and that hobbled my career and impacted my career path for years)

      1. Goldenrod*

        This is a great point about timing. I got a new job during the Great Resignation and I was shocked at how quickly it happened…I also got a significant raise. But my timing was so lucky, and I think at another time it would have played out differently.

      2. Jonathan MacKay*

        I kept in touch with my supervisor (I ended up working about 4 doors down the street) and found out that to replace me, they had to hire two guys at $18/hr (about $2 more than I was being paid) and even then THEY didn’t last….

        At some point, you’d think management would develop self-reflection…..

        I had started the HR courses in January, being motivated to start due to some of the frustrations – walking out in February let me focus on the two foundational courses to the program… I ended up with just shy of honors for the certificate. ((83% average – honors started at 85%))

  9. Anon for this*

    I’m in a similar situation (minus the hostility) and would love advice. My duties have changed drastically over the last year. I’ve been able to adapt enough to do OK, but I know I’m not doing well. The team’s needs are moving further and further from my skill set and there’s only so much I can pick up on the fly. I’m also getting less and less busy as the team’s workload shifts towards things I straight up can’t do. My manager is supportive and has tried to find ways to fit me in, but I know from our conversations that she sees the same gaps I see.

    I’m job hunting, obviously, but the market is rough in my field and I expect it to take a long time. I’m scared to suggest a transition plan because losing my income would be a major hit to our finances. But this is seriously impacting my mental health and confidence, and I’m scared of getting fired if I stay in this situation too long.

    Do I keep pushing through and hope I get lucky on the job market before I get fired? Do I quit and take care of my mental health and hope our savings hold until I find something new? Do I have a blunt conversation with my manager and hope she’s willing to plan for a long transition to give me some breathing room? I’m not sure what I should do, and I’d appreciate advice from anyone who’s been here.

    1. Liz the Snackbrarian*

      If the market in your field is rough, I would have the conversation with your manager that you want to transition. Maybe brainstorm ways to support you so you can do as many of your duties as possible. The downside of that is that you risk them letting you go right away. I guess it depends on how much you trust your manager to support you.

  10. Lemons*

    Slight tangent: If you know your days are numbered, start getting prepared financially! I quit my job without another lined up after saving up several months worth of ‘income’ while gritting my teeth at my super toxic job. I cut a lot of unnecessary expenditures and worked a few side gigs to do this.

    Set some savings goals, so once you cross whatever your safety number is, you know you have real options if you get to the point of “I absolutely have to quit right now.”

    I know working more to save up isn’t an option for everyone, and to those folks I say, even just redoing your budget can take you a long way towards feeling financially safe enough to leave.

    1. A Simple Narwhal*

      That’s good advice. And if the end is approaching you should also make sure to take advantage of every benefit you can. Make every medical appointment you haven’t taken yet. Spend your FSA (assuming it won’t carry over/be cashed out). Check what you can get reimbursed for, whether it’s the $40 your insurance might cover for having a gym membership or any other benefit your company might offer. I know a former company covered the fee for applying/renewing your TSA pre-check so when the writing was on the wall I went and applied for that. Not every company has bonus benefits, but yours might and it’s worth looking to see what’s available and take advantage of all of them while you still can.

    2. Decidedly Me*

      Even without the desire to quit, this is something people should do if they can. General advice is to have 3-6 months of savings and this can really help people to more quickly leave bad situations (work, personal, etc)

  11. EJR*

    I think you are giving too much credit to most hiring managers/resume screeners by assuming they would look past a firing. A lot of initial applications seem to ask whether you have ever been fired and I assume that is an easy way to put anyone who answers “yes” into the reject pile without further consideration, especially if faced with a high volume of applications of otherwise qualified candidates.

    1. Sola Lingua Bona Lingua Mortua Est*

      This is my experience, too. The Scarlet F is real and unemployment benefits aren’t nearly enough to offset it.

    2. James*

      Agree, I have to say as a hiring manager, a candidate would have to be phenomenal for me to overlook being fired. If there are other equally skilled candidates, I just wouldn’t bother digging further. I think there is no question being fired will put you at a disadvantage.

  12. Liz*

    Am I the only one who got federal employee out of this? If you’re financially able to quit there won’t be much mystery why. But same with “fired” in this context

  13. A Simple Narwhal*

    I was able to make option 3 work for me. My company was acquired and my job became a nightmare. I was working 14 hour days, dry-heaving from stress, and crying every day. I finally had enough and spoke with my manager (and HR) and said that this clearly wasn’t working out for anyone, and if they agreed to not fight my unemployment claim we could just call it a day. They agreed (I got it in writing) and I was able to leave my horrendous job and still collect unemployment.

    I will say that I am very fortunate that I was able to go on my spouse’s insurance and we could afford to temporarily lose most of my income, which I know not everyone has the freedom to do.

  14. Lyra Belacqua*

    I was totally miserable in my last job, for what sound like similar reasons to the OP. A few practical things that helped me feel comfortable with the decision to quit without anything lined up:
    1. I had health insurance through my spouse.
    2. I had the ability to pick up freelance work to float me financially (which also meant I could frame my leaving as “deciding to freelance”).
    3. My org was notorious for its terrible working conditions, such that quitting or being fired from it carried no stigma in my relatively small industry (and in fact people were often impressed that I’d “managed to stay that long.”)
    4. I hadn’t worked there long enough to be eligible for a significant amount of severance.
    5. I had been planning to quit for a long time, but had been too anxious to pull the trigger.

    All that said, I want to underline the point about the mental health benefits of quitting vs. waiting to get fired. I wasn’t yet on a PIP but was being asked to do humiliating, time-consuming tasks if I wanted to remain employed, when it was clear (based on the org’s history and on general vibes) that even if I did those tasks, it wouldn’t change the inevitability of my getting fired. It was a really powerless position to be in, and I saw how it ground down colleagues who had experienced it before I did, even when they were only sticking it out for unemployment/severance/insurance reasons, and even when they knew it wasn’t a reflection on their worth but on the unrealistic expectations of the org. Quitting on my own terms helped me take back a little of that power.

  15. VoPo*

    I quit a job with nothing lined up last year. My boss at the place I quit was truly awful. I had basically shut down mentally. It took me three months to find a new role, and it was a very hard 3 months as I watched our savings disappear. My husband was working but I’m the main breadwinner so his salary alone couldn’t keep us afloat long term. In my case, I made the right choice. I was so depressed at that job that I couldn’t even effectively look for a new job. I needed to be free of it first. Of course, if it had taken me much longer to find a new role, my answer might have been different.

    1. OP for this letter*

      The person I’m writing about is also the breadwinner. If they weren’t, they probably would have quit already, although they can at least go on their spouse’s health insurance. I totally get what you’re saying about how it affects your mental health.

  16. hypoglycemic rage*

    I left my toxic old job without anything else lined up. I am very fortunate that I had savings that enabled me to do this. part of why I left the way I did was because I didn’t want to be fired – for my own mental health, I don’t know if I could have coped with that. but also because I thought it would be easier to explain why I left (because I was moved to a new team and the work was not what I wanted to do, I did not mention the toxic management).

    even when I was in the midst of a four-month job hunt, I never ever thought “man, I wish I hadn’t done that.” I never regretted that choice.

    I know not everyone is as fortunate, but if you’re able to leave on even slightly good terms, I’d do that.

  17. el l*

    Yep. If you’re able to not have to care about the foregone money – quit.

    Because control. Or if you prefer call it, “better to leave under your own terms,” or “Don’t waste any more time at this job.”

  18. MistOrMister*

    I was in this position last year. Got laid off, lucked (so I thought) into a new job within a couple of weeks, making 20k more and seemed great. Get there and it’s a dumpster fire. I was laying awake at night staring at the ceiling freaking out. I quit after 3 months and took what was supposed to be 1 month off before I started searching. It took over a month before I even sent out resumes and I went between being thankful I have some savings to being terrified that I would never get another job in time and would be homeless. If a place is so toxic you have no choice and think you can find a new job in a reasonable amount of time quitting is certainly an appealing option. But do be prepared for some possible financial anxiety.

    1. Hiding from My Boss*

      question for any hiring managers reading this: Knowing that people are sometimes in job situations that become “quit without another job or lose your mental/physical health, etc.,” how does this affect your thinking about candidates who are fired or quit without another job? And how does it mesh with the conventional wisdom of not saying anything negative about a previous job/manager when we know there are some that are straight out of hell?

      Seriously would like to know the thinking on this.

      1. Beth*

        I don’t think it has any bearing on the question of speaking negatively about past jobs/managers. The issue there has never been that it’s impossible for someone to have had a bad manager or job! It’s that 1) it’s impossible for a hiring manager to know if the complaints are fair or if the prospective employee has a bad attitude (both happen!), and 2) talking badly about others doesn’t show a lot of tact, even if what you’re saying is true.

        It’s smarter to say the job duties shifted, you took some time off for personal reasons, etc than to blame your departure on a bad manager or employer, because those are less likely to raise questions for the hiring manager. Why invite scrutiny when you don’t have to?

  19. Decidedly Me*

    As a hiring manager, leaving without something lined up looks way better than being fired. If someone leaves without something lined up, I may have some questions about it, but with a firing, I’ll have concerns.

  20. Lisa Simpson*

    When I worked in California my employer was very open about the fact that they would try to coerce people to quit rather than fire them so they would not have to pay out unemployment.

    1. Lisa Simpson*

      Also another place I worked was not shy about marking people who quit as ineligible for rehire, as a punishment for leaving.

  21. 653-CXK*

    I think it was better in my circumstances to be terminated from ExJob (of 21-1/2 years) than to quit. If I had a lot more money saved up, I would have quit, but then I would have not received unemployment. At least in my circumstances (not keeping up to the standards of the job, which changed at the caprice of upper management) I was able to get unemployment for 30 weeks.

  22. Happily Retired*

    I left a job without another one lined up, due to office politics. (When co-workers asked what my new job was, and I said that I didn’t have one, they all went Whoa, lol.)

    But I didn’t make any drama when I left, and a few weeks later they asked if I’d be willing to do the critical part of my work as a contractor on my own schedule, and I said yes. I actually got another job in a month or so, and continued continued contracting for another 6-8 months as they went through a significant change to align with a new federal government payment regimen, so it worked out.

    My advice for anyone is this position is to keep your head up, act professionally, and do not engage in drama. Burned bridges are bad for the environment, releasing lots of carbon into the atmosphere. Let’s avoid that.

  23. Greyhound*

    I was lucky enough to be able to take option 3. I was on a PIP due to a combination of poor leadership and being totally unsuited to the role and it wasn’t going well – horrible and stressful. Then a redundancy round was announced and my manager agreed to me volunteering. I was able to leave with dignity intact and a small redundancy package that, while not enough to support me, enabled me to train for a career I was much better suited to. I think on the whole decent managers would prefer not to fire people so it’s always worth asking if something can be arranged.

  24. SPB*

    In my country there’s a happy medium – if the terms of your employment change dramatically enough – your responsibilities changed dramatically and compensation hasn’t, your employer relocated more than a certain distance, etc. it’s legally the same as being fired when you quit, so you’re eligible for unemployment. I wish that was the norm everywhere.

    1. Annie*

      Here in the US we have that, too. It’s called “constructive dismissal” or “constructive discharge”. The exact circumstances under which constructive dismissal applies can vary by state, and you have to prove that you resigned because of workplace changes or challenges that make continuing to work untenable for a reasonable person in your position.

  25. WantonSeedStitch*

    I once quit a job without anything else lined up. My skills for the role weren’t great, but I think it was the work environment that made them worse because of the high level of anxiety I experienced there! (After three years there, I had seen at least eight people leave the office, which never had more than 10-12 employees total, so I’m not the only one.) It ended up being the right call because leaving on my own terms helped protect what was left of my emotional well-being and made me feel better about the job hunt. I did sign up with a temp agency so I could bring in some income while job hunting. If I’d stayed long enough to get fired, it probably would have wrecked me.

  26. Bookworm*

    A little over 1.5 years ago I was fired. First time that had ever happened and it did a number on my professional confidence. I should have quit but the owner was honestly unreasonable–gaslighting me on whether she had actually said X when she was now telling me Y, expecting availability during holidays, weekends, after business hours with no time limit as to how late I should be available (nothing we did would result in anyone dying if we missed a deadline, our work was definitely not that important or in emergency services, etc.)

    I wish I had quit because I was honestly miserable but given the past 1.5 years it wouldn’t have mattered: I haven’t been able to find FT work (although not because of this firing to my knowledge, which I’ve been honest about if it comes up and have had several genuinely sympathetic replies, including an offer for project work anyway).

    Above everything else, the mental/physical stress isn’t worth it. If you’re in a situation where you’re suffering, save yourself. It is extremely rare to find an organization that will care and look to replace you before you’re even out the door anyway.

  27. Gigi*

    The best advice I ever got that I didn’t take: When I was an AmeriCorps VISTA (years ago when the earth was still cooling) a trainer gave me advice about my first toxic boss. He said, make a plan for the minimum time you have to stay and get an exit strategy (basically what everyone else is saying, solid advice) but if your soul is hurting, get out now.

    At 23, I didn’t really know what he meant by “soul hurt.” I do now. Like pornography, it’s hard to define but you know it when you see it. Twice in the nearly 30 years since, I’ve toughed it out under soul hurting circumstances to the profound detriment of my mental health and one nearly total breakdown I had to reboot from. Whatever sacrifices you have to make to get away from soul hurt, make them. You are worth it. Good luck.

  28. Milo*

    My ego says quit. My brain says get fired because I have a 10 month severance package and benefits continued for that period (or pay in lieu of costs of those benefits). Man if I was moving to some other country where my references from here would no longer matter I’d find a way to get myself fired.

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