the bacon monitor, the baby boom, and other tales of holidays at work

by Alison Green on November 26, 2024

Over the years, readers have submitted a tremendous number of amusing stories about holidays at work. Here are some of my favorites.

1. The thief and the hero

At a temp secretarial job back in the day, the owner had a buffet set up for the employees as an appreciation lunch for completing a particular project (which was why I was there to temp since it was an all-hands/emergency situation).

One of the very well-paid senior employees took an entire tray of meatballs and an entire tray of pasta off of the buffet line, after the managers/seniors went, but before any of the other employees, who had to take a slightly later lunch that day. When called on it, he said that he needed it to feed his kids for the week – and the owner said if the only way he could feed his children was by stealing from his job and taking food from lower-paid employees, he was welcome to it. But the owner would be accompanying him to the food stamp office to apply or reporting him to CPS if he refused, because feeding his children should be his first priority and if his children could only be fed by stealing, that wasn’t something that could be ignored. It turned into a public argument about how the owner was shaming him for liking expensive things and needing a little help sometimes. Ended up as the employee’s last day.  (2022)

2. The divinity candy

Around the holidays, it’s not unusual for our office break room to contain an assortment of treats gifted to us from vendors or customers. Several years ago during this most festive time of year, I noticed a tray of what looked like divinity candy sitting out on the break room table. Divinity is not my favorite holiday candy, but it was early in the season, and the pickings were slim, so I decided to have a piece. Just as I took a bite, a coworker walked in and said, “Oh! You’re trying out my candy – let me know what you think of it!”

By this time the bite had well and truly settled on my palate, and let me tell you, I had opinions. Being a polite sort of person in real life, I was hesitant to tell her what I thought (which would have been difficult without swallowing, which was not an option at this point), but I can tell you – it tasted like a dog turd rolled in powdered sugar. Or what I assume a dog turd would taste like, having never sampled a dog turd myself. I stepped around my coworker to grab a paper towel to ostensibly wipe my mouth (and discreetly spit out the offending “candy’), then turned back around to address my coworker. “I don’t think I’ve ever had anything like it,” says I, in what I hope was a pleasant voice. “What’s it called?” Coworker replies, “I haven’t really thought of a name for it – it’s just something I experimented with.” Then she tells me how she made it.

Y’all. It was mashed potatoes. And not even real potatoes, but the boxed potato flakes. Prepared in the normal way with butter, milk and salt, then mixed with peanut butter, Karo syrup, and powdered sugar, then rolled in another healthy dose of powdered sugar. Dear coworker had made too many mashed potatoes for dinner the night before, and in an effort not to waste food, had decided to try her hand as a confectioner. I’m having flashbacks of the nauseating flavor and texture just typing this out. So gross. So, so gross. I mumbled something polite that probably came out as more of an “Oh! Hrrmm, interesting” or similar, then bolted from the room to warn the rest of my coworkers NOT to try the “divinity” in the break room.  (2023)

3. The baby boom

My former company had a fancy dinner at a hotel party with an open bar. It was a great event. Many people got hotel rooms but my spouse and I went home. I must have missed something because HR sent out an email saying that in the future there would be a two drink limit, beer and wine only, no shots or hard liquor.

And as a side note, almost exactly 9 months later there was a minor baby boom in the company.  (2022)

4. The bacon monitor

In one of my last jobs, our party planning committee, used to do company-wide catering for most major holidays. I swear, every single time we did a breakfast one and included bacon, we always had to have a member of the committee stand watch as the ‘bacon monitor’ and count how many pieces of bacon each person had. Apparently, a few years before I started, some people would pile a plate full of nothing but bacon, and no one else would get any.  (2017)

5. The homemade gifts

I worked in the children’s department of a public library for many years. Being quirky, creative people, we decided that our department of 7-9 (depending on year) would hand-make ornaments for one another each year, and unwrap them together at a mini party the day before the holiday when the department was always dead. We would bring homemade snacks too, so it was all good fun. Typically these ornaments consisted of a funny saying or item we encountered over our year in the department (hilarity happens surprisingly often as a public servant).

One year, my coworker painted the silhouette of our boss (who we had caught sleeping in their office chair once), which was received with cacophonous laughter. Another year, a woman had blatantly sworn up and down to one coworker that a part of one of the toy food kits her kids took home had never existed … “I remember there was no potato!” About a week later, she silently snuck into our department one afternoon, dropped the offending plastic potato on our desk without a word, and slunk out. So my other coworker (who had already deleted the plastic potato from our kit) poked a hole in it, strung it up, and wrote “There was No Potato!” on it for her gift recipient that year. Hilarious. So figure simple, silly things like that were always the basis for the ornaments.

But the one that takes the cake, for all the years before and after, was the “Snowman” cookie cutter. We loaned out cookie cutter kits to the general public. This was always met with a certain level of squick, since who knew if they were ever washed before or after, but they were one of our highest circulating items. One day, a woman came up to the counter to check out a package of Christmas themed cutters. She was ahem’ing quite loudly so me and my coworker went to check it out. Immediately we noticed the problem. Someone, possibly months or years prior, had taken the snowman out of the bag and re-bent it for a bachelorette or something similar. We knew this because upon closer inspection, the snowman was now a penis.

Both of us laughed so hard we almost peed our pants. We deleted the “Snowman” from the kit and let the woman check out the rest of the items. Why she still wanted to bake cookies with her kids using THAT set, knowing what it was previously used for, was beyond us. All was well for many months until our gift exchange … when we discovered someone on staff had not only rescued the penis cookie cutter from our trash, but had tied a glittery ribbon on it, and wrapped it up as their gift that year! Several of us burst into hysterics and one super conservative person was very much not amused.

More stringent guidelines about what constituted a handmade gift followed in years after.  (2023)

6. The revenge

A coworker at a place I used to work at got fired shortly before Christmas. On the day of the holiday party, while all the remaining employees were at the restaurant, she snuck into the office and glued all the mugs in the break room to the floor.  (2023)

7. The salsa 

My coworker used to bring her ‘famous salsa’ to every potluck. It was just three different brands of store-bought salsa mixed together. She even made a (completely serious) production of preparing it in the kitchen, like she was Julia Child. Pro tip: The trick was to ‘fold’ the salsa to get the best flavor.  (2022)

8. The remark

I work for a small family-owned company. Each Christmas, the owners, would host a fantastic Christmas party at their home with A LOT of wine. Years ago, a coworker’s wife got really drunk. As she and coworker were leaving, my boss said in a joking tone, “Are you sure you don’t want one more glass of wine?” To which she replied, “Why don’t you eat my ass?”

We haven’t had alcohol at a holiday party since.  (2017)

9. The cookies

When I was fresh out of college, I worked in a government office that was cuckoo for Christmas: a secret Santa ornament exchange, a big holiday party, a ladies-only holiday party (???), and cookie day. Legend day has it that in past years, the office had several women who loved to bake and got a real kick out of making one million (metaphorically, but close enough) cookies, then spending a lunch break piling them into huge gift platters and distributing them to all the other departments. Although these women had all since retired, the tradition had continued and I received an email requesting I bring in TEN BATCHES of cookies for cookie day. This email only went out to the women in the office, and this industry at the time skewed heavily towards men so that was maybe 20% of the office.

I actually love to bake, but gritted my teeth a little over the sexism of only asking the women. Even more concerning was the cost – I’d only been working full time for 3 months and December was coming in expensive, 10 batches was going to be a stretch. But the email reminders were increasingly filled with pressure to participate, reminders to ‘clear your weekend!’ to bake cookies. It was a brand spanking new job, my first full time one ever, so I decided I could afford to make six batches and if anybody had the nerve to hassle me about it further they could take it up with payroll.

Cookie day rolled around and it turned out I wasn’t the only one resentful of being strong-armed to “bake all weekend” for strangers in other departments. My coworker walked in late while everybody (every woman, anyways) was already plating, didn’t say a word and dropped one lone box of Oreos on the table. And I mean DROPPED, from a foot or more above the table so it landed with a thud that got everybody’s attention. Then she turned on her heel and left. It’s been 15 years and I have never seen another action as perfectly, beautifully passive aggressive. It still makes me laugh 15 years later.  (2023)

10. The cursed walk

A friend’s company always does their year end party in January for less stress and more bang for their buck. The first year I went, it was roaring 20’s themed in a rented out basement night club. I did multiple shots of tequila, including while linking arms with their CEO. We rallied friend’s department to the 24-hour diner three blocks away, and during that walk: three people got lost and called multiple times because they couldn’t figure out how to pull up google maps, the team lead started accusing us of kidnapping him, then puked on my shoes, then accused me of stealing his phone while trying to call his cab, resulting in an awkward conversation with a passing cop. The next year, it was a daytime event with drink tickets and a very specific “NO SHOTS, not even if you pay out of pocket” rule, complete with signs on the bar.  (2023)

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  2. Hey, I'm Wohrking Heah!*

    #5- I love that libraries check out tools and such, but your own cookie cutters seem like a worthwhile and affordable investment.

    1. Higher-ed Jessica*

      Depends on how often you make cookies and how many shapes you want to make them in. I found a set of good cake pans to be an extremely worthwhile purchase, but I don’t have the space, budget, or need for a wide variety of different specialty shapes. Some libraries loan these and that’s awesome. Likewise, I could see borrowing holiday shape cookie cutters if you only need them once a year or less.

      1. Artemesia*

        On a recent trip I decided to make my husband a birthday cake in the shape of Brunelleschi’s Dome which required a hemisphere pan. We don’ t have much storage space and tend to not go for specialty items like that. I just made my fourth dome cake with mousse layers in 3 weeks, because, dang it, gonna amortize the cost and the storage demands of that pan.

        I think it wonderful that libraries would loan out such little used items and I bet people would donate to the stash as they downsize. I have never known of a library that does that though. Very nice idea. These things are expensive so it also let’s people without the wherewithal to stock a kitchen with expensive cutters and pans to be able to do cool things for their family.

        1. Perfectly Cromulent Name*

          The library in Andover, KS loans out cake pans! I don’t live there anymore, and I miss that feature of the library!

        2. goddessoftransitory*

          I live near a Tool Library that is just that–a place where people can check out specialized or expensive tools and equipment (I presume deposits and IDs are taken to make sure the stuff comes back.) Something similar for bakeware would be a great idea!

      2. General von Klinkerhoffen*

        I would have thought that holiday cutters are the *least* useful in a library, since they’d be unused 50 weeks a year and in too great demand just before Christmas.

        Unusual shapes not so closely tied to the calendar (dinosaurs, horses, flowers, bachelorette…) must be a fantastic resource though.

    2. Fluffy Fish*

      I bake and have a collection of cutters but tbh they sit in storage all year until I pull them out for one occasion. Being able to just borrow some instead of have a box lay around all year would have been a great alternative.

      1. Tammy 2*

        If you’re inclined and have the counter space–I put my cookie cutters in a great big glass apothecary jar and have them sitting out as a cute (sometimes functional) decoration.

    3. hypoglycemic rage*

      I don’t bake much (and yet that did not stop me from gazing longingly at a handheld KitchenAid mixer the other day…) so I wouldn’t find it worthwhile to have cookie cutters, especially since I live in a studio apartment and def do not have the room for stuff like that.

    4. CrabbyLibrarian*

      When my library first started loaning musical instruments, I will never forget the Library Board remarking about cleaning and asking about sanitizing instruments and our director assuring them it would be fine because “we’re not lending out trumpets or clarinets. You know, nothing that involves…saliva.”

      1. MigraineMonth*

        Also, small living spaces. There are so many things that I would probably buy and store in the basement/garage if I owned a house, but are much more convenient to just rent (or check out from a library) since I live in an apartment.

    6. Late Bloomer*

      My public library in the Midwest also has a stellar selection of cake pans to check out, which is especially great when someone wants a specific theme/character/shape that will only be done once. I borrowed them a few times for kid birthday parties and for a fancy winter holiday-ish cake.

      1. MigraineMonth*

        Definitely clean them before using, though. One of my first jobs was cleaning CDs and DVDs that had been returned to the library, and many of them were weirdly dirty.

  3. Nonsense*

    You can definitely make potato candy, but, uh, you don’t make it with leftover dinner mashed potatoes.

    Fun fact time: basic potato candy is literally just mashed potatoes and powdered sugar – a lot of powdered sugar. Early on in the mixing, there’s this weird reaction that happens where everything basically turns to liquid, and then you keep adding powdered sugar until you form a pliable dough. And then roll it in more powdered sugar after it chills overnight. It is absolutely revoltingly sweet as an adult. Your kids and nieblings will eat it whole.

    1. Elizabeth West*

      I think Tasting History made this once. I actually love divinity, but I believe it’s made from corn syrup and sugar, NOT mashed potatoes. I’ve never tried to make it myself, although years ago I bought a candy thermometer with the idea of trying it.

      I’m dying over the “snowman” cookie, though. We had these very old aluminum cookie cutters when I was a kid. One of them was a Santa with a pack on his back, but the shape of his legs and the wide part with the pack ended up becoming rather . . . amorphous upon baking. :D

      1. Nonsense*

        Max Miller (Tasting History) has done both divinity and potato candy. B Dylan Hollis has also done potato candy and had a pretty similar reaction as my best friend the first time she watched me make some.

        I’d say #2’s coworker’s mistake was using leftover potatoes – I have a feeling the fat from the milk and butter caused the flavor to be off.

        1. Charlotte Lucas*

          There was probably pepper in it, too.

          A childhood neighbor made divinity. It was delicious, but you have to do it when the humidity is low, or it doesn’t turn out.

          1. Nina*

            That would explain why I’ve never had it – I’ve never lived anywhere with average humidity less than 75%.

      2. Raechem*

        Divinity is egg whites, sugar, and chopped walnuts (though I’d do it with chopped pecans these days). My grandfather LOVED the stuff, so Grandma made it every Christmas. Both are gone now, alas.

        1. Dust Bunny*

          Divinity is mostly meringue. No potatoes.

          And potato candy is not supposed to be made with leftover seasoned mashed potatoes!

          2. RLC*

            My mom’s divinity recipe was in a Betty Crocker cookbook from the mid 1950s. Christmas tradition of my childhood, mom put cut-up red and green candied cherries in it. Recall it being most popular with people who didn’t care for chocolate fudge candy.

          3. Jillian with a J dammit*

            I grew up in the midwest US and a lot of people made it at Christmas time. I thought it tasted like stale orange circus peanuts – it’s a little crunchy on the side and sort of marshmallowy on the inside.

            1. Missa Brevis*

              Hmm. I think you may have just had not great divinity. The commenter who mentioned needing to be super careful about humidity was right, and when it turns out right, divinity is like ultra-light fudge that just melts in your mouth.

      3. Hot Flash Gordon*

        I LOVE divinity, but only the freshly made stuff, which is very hard to find at stores and a pain to make at home. I used to work at a bakery and my boss would make it for the holidays in the big copper kettle that was really only used for his Divinity. It was amazing how he would whip the sugar with a wooden paddle-like spatula and then let it cool to just the right temperature where he could scoop it up with his (clean) hand and dollop it out on the sheet pans. Then he would get mad at all of us for sneaking it off the pans throughout our shifts.

      4. Princess Sparklepony*

        For some reason I cannot remember, I happened upon a video of a cookie cutter making machine. It’s fascinating. All these little “feet” slamming into the metal ribbon circle to punch bends into the cookie cutter to get it into a shape. I found it oddly fascinating.

    2. Stormfeather*

      Huh, I think my mom used to make it from leftover mashed potatoes. Then again, we didn’t really add stuff to them prior to serving, just let people season/add butter/whatever as they wished.

      Sounds like maybe the coworker decided to experiment with the wrong things while adding them to the potato candy basics.

      1. Strive to Excel*

        There’s also a lot of differences between leftover fresh potatoes and mashed potato made from flake. Moisture, chemical presence, etc.

        1. Dust Bunny*

          Actually, there isn’t, but if the flakes were seasoned they’re pretty much a no-go for candy. Next time she should just make shepherd’s pie.

          1. amoeba*

            Tastewise, there definitely is. I know it’s basically just dried potato, but I grew up with the boxed stuff and always just assumed I didn’t like mashed potatoes, until I finally tried the freshly made stuff in my early twenties. Turns out I actually love that! (Might also be the amount of added butter, haha.)

      2. MigraineMonth*

        Honestly, the peanut butter is where the coworker lost me. I love peanut butter brittle, I think peanut butter & chocolate is a divine combination, but peanut butter and mashed potatoes?!?

        1. dawbs*

          actual potato candy does indeed have peanut butter…
          But you have to work to convince people it has potato because the amount of sugar drowns it

      1. Elizabeth West*

        I made sweet potato gnocchi once — it tasted okay, but BOY was it tough. I think I over-kneaded it or something.

        As happened when the potato divinity story was first posted, now I want some.

    4. Bluebell Brenham*

      In Maine you can buy the potato candy and they are dipped in chocolate and called Needhams. You can get various flavors but none are that great, imho.

    6. Lab Boss*

      In the lab and in the kitchen, my favorite reactions are the ones that look terrible and wrong and you just have to hold trust in your heart and keep going.

    7. Queen Esmeralda*

      Came in to say the same. My family rolls it out like dough, puts on a layer of peanut butter, rolls it up and slices it to make spiral “cookies.” Cuts the sweetness a bit.

    8. Media Monkey*

      in scotland this is called macaroon (not to be confused with macarons) and normally dipped in chocolate and sprinkled with toasted coconut. i can’t imagine it’s good made with instant potatoes – you can’t normally taste that it’s got potatoes in it.

  4. Nonanon*

    …was the coworker in 7 (FOLD in the salsa) married to the owner of a chain of video stores, perchance?

      2. Artemesia*

        folding is how you incorporate one ingredient into another in baking. I have been making cakes with mousse layers this month and it involves folding curds like lemon or orange curd into whipped cream. Beating or stirring destroys the lightness you are going for. Same thing when making souffles — you fold the whipped egg whites into the batter to retain the airiness of the whipped eggs upon which the souffle depends.

        but you were probably joking so nevermind.

      3. Clisby*

        You gently incorporate the ingredients together with a wooden spoon, spatula, or similar. You don’t stir the ingredients together, or beat them together.

  5. A perfectly normal-size space bird*

    #9 is my hero. I have been “volunteered” to do the cooking and baking at many, many work and non-work events, which always skews towards women. That coworker needs a shrine in her honor.

    2. Nah*

      “voluntold” is a word I learned years ago that encapsulates these “hey guess what you’re gonna be doing for us for free!” demands, and I think Oreo Coworker is my new hero.

            1. Princess Sparklepony*

              Hydrox were the go to in my childhood home because my dad was allergic to eggs (and other things too) and Oreos were made with eggs.

    3. Nannerdoodle*

      I love baking too. At multiple old jobs, I’m the coworker caused the problems for future people because I baked so much. At one old job, leadership asked who was going to take over baking for the department (over 100 people) every week after I left. I told them hopefully no one would. That I was stress baking because everything was awful at work, and if they fixed things the way they said they would before my replacement started, no one should need to stress bake. Leadership was unimpressed.

    6. Ex-Prof*

      I’ve never worked anywhere where management would have been expected the women to cook for the men.

      But if I had, I’d make, let’s see, pecan sandies. With extra sand.

      1. Chirpy*

        I would suddenly become the worst baker of all time. Oh, you don’t put half a cup of baking soda in those cookies?

        Epic Oreo Woman is now my hero.

    7. Nina*

      I was once asked (in a job interview! for a technical specialist role in a department that was otherwise all male!) if I was going to ‘bring in baking for everyone’. I said, ‘well, of course I’d do my best to fit in with the team culture, so if everyone else is bringing in baking from time to time…’

    9. Tech Industry Refugee*

      I LOVE baking. I’ve had to ask my lovely partner to stop volunteering me to bake for events, though. It just gives me the ick as a woman to be volunteered for such things. Happy bakes taste much better.

  6. Cookie Monster*

    #6 – Gluing the mugs to the floor: How did they know it was her? Were there cameras? And if so, didn’t she KNOW there were cameras? And how did they get the mugs off the floor?

    I have so many questions but I also kinda love it for its pettiness.

        1. Resident Catholicville, U.S.A.*

          I have so. many. questions!

          1) Why?!
          2) What glue did they use?
          3) How many mugs were involved?
          4) How did you get them off?
          5) Were any of the mugs still usable?
          6) What did everyone think of this?

    2. MigraineMonth*

      Yeah, there are approximately 143 vengeful acts of varying levels of pettiness/property destruction that I would have thought of before getting to “glue mugs to breakroom floor” and I need to know how she settled on that one.

  7. LifebeforeCorona*

    No.1 owner is my hero for calling out the food theft. Imagine him going home and telling his family that this year there’s no meatballs and pasta and no job for daddy.

    1. Fluffy Fish*

      On the assumption he had a spouse or partner I’m wondering on a scale of 1-10 just how livid they were.

      1. Polaris*

        Probably went from 0-110, honestly. I would probably be re-assessing a few life choices were this to be a result.

        1. Bossy*

          I mean he sounds pretty damn clueless in this entire interaction which was solely brought about by him! Sounds like the type who would legit go home and complain about being fired because “they claimed I was stealing but I was just taking it to feed my family, what’s the problem?”
          People are wild.

          2. Raktajino*

            Or even, “I was just taking SOME of the leftovers and they ACTED like I was taking the whole tray!”

          3. N C Kiddle*

            Doesn’t even sound like he was fired for taking the food but for doubling down when called out on it. Agreed that he probably doesn’t have the self awareness to recognise that.

          4. Princess Sparklepony*

            I’m kind of hoping that his wife and kids are free of him now. No one deserves that in the form of a spouse or father.

      4. goddessoftransitory*

        Right? “Tell me one more time while I get this knife sharpened–you said WHAT to WHO about meatballs????”

    2. Princess Sparklepony*

      That was epic. Telling him they were going together to get him signed up for food stamps! Perfection.

  8. I Can’t Odd*

    A friend of mine works in an office that is having a “Pajama Party”-themed holiday party this year. (They are not going.) I have to assume that next year, a story from that will end up in this column.

    1. Archi-detect*

      Pajamas feel oddly risqué to me in a way I cannot explain and is probably illogical. I wouldn’t want to see my coworkers in them even if everyone is fully covered

      1. I Can’t Odd*

        That’s what I was thinking. Even if all your coworkers were wearing flannel pajamas like it was the 1850’s, you’d be mentally directed to thinking about what people wear in bed, and that’s not a work thing.

        And not everyone would choose wisely.

              1. I Can’t Odd*

                I arbitrarily picked a decade and used pajamas as generic for nightwear. But yes, even if they had a union suit, a flannel nightgown, and a robe (and thus were melting in a properly-heated venue), it still seems weird.

                1. goddessoftransitory*

                  Yeah–this is one of those cute sounding ideas that do not take into account how roasting hot and impractical nightwear like that is for a heated office space.

                  I wore a full length Victorian-style nightgown as a Halloween costume once at work and barely lasted through the picture taking. I was BOILING in that thing.

                2. Princess Sparklepony*

                  I was thinking like flannel nightgowns and nightshirts. I love my Lanz nightgowns. They even make them now with side pockets. And while they cover everything from shoulders to ankles, I do not want to see anyone at work in them.

      2. sparkle emoji*

        Yeah, I don’t wear a bra with my pajamas and some full coverage pjs can still be thin or clingy in ways I don’t want coworkers to see. But I also hated PJ day in grade school so I may be weird about this.

        1. pocket microscope*

          You won’t get prosecuted for pyjama fraud if you just wear something comfy with your normal underwear underneath. Even if that’s not strictly what you sleep in. I mean, I go to bed in a hoodie that I invariably strip off in my sleep when I get too hot, but that doesn’t mean I’d spend the second half of Pyjama Day topless. You know?

          1. amoeba*

            Yeah, I mean, it was my first thought as well, but… nothing would keep me from just wearing my bra underneath at the office. (And honestly, I’d buy something different for the occasion, anyway, just because I basically wear oversized old t-shirts to bed, so… not very exciting?)

    2. cool nacho doritos*

      Pajama-themed days/events have come up on this website before and honestly, I don’t really understand why people here get bent out of shape about them. Do you all not realize that like, just because the theme/party says “Pajama” you don’t have to literally follow it to the letter of the law???? So if you are someone who sleeps nude, you don’t actually show up to work that day in the nude? Or if your routine sleepwear is very skimpy pajamas, or even a nightgown, or some other type of work-inappropriate outfit, you just throw on a t-shirt and sweatpants, or similar, and thus you’re participating in Pajama Day without risking an HR violation? I had to wear a uniform for all 12 years of school, in schools that never did Pajama Day events, and frequently still wear nightgowns to bed as an adult and yet…I still could manage if my work decided to hold a Pajama Day for fun.

      “you’d be mentally directed to thinking about what people wear in bed, and that’s not a work thing.”
      I mean, no? That kind of just sounds like a You problem, honestly.

      “Yeah, I don’t wear a bra with my pajamas and some full coverage pjs can still be thin or clingy in ways I don’t want coworkers to see.”

      Again: Pajama Day events aren’t about literally wearing the clothes you literally wear to sleep in (or don’t wear for people who sleep naked). So like, you could wear a bra under your pajamas to work for that one day. Or again, just grab some random shirt and sweatpants or leggings or something and be all “these are my pajamas lol.” Or buy a cheap pajama set for laughs that you’d wear a bra under.

      Like, I’m sorry to be a weirdo about Pajama Day but I’ve seen the whole “OMG SOMEONE WANTS TO DO A PAJAMA DAY AT WORK WHAT DO?????” thing come up a few times here now and I just honestly don’t get the aggro about it. Because I don’t understand why grown adults can’t seem to understand that it doesn’t mean you’re required to wear the exact items you’d actually wear to bed even if they were complete HR violations. Schools manage this thing just fine so why can’t the readers of this site figure it out without having full meltdowns?

      1. Toots La'Rue*

        Honestly… glad you said it! It’s not “come in what you wear to bed day”, it’s wear pajamas day. How you generally sleep doesn’t really matter here.

        2. londonedit*

          Yes! I don’t get the angst about it. No one is saying ‘come to work in what you wear to bed’, they’re saying ‘wear something that at least looks like pyjamas’. No, I don’t wear underwear under my pyjamas if I’m actually going to bed, but of course, if it was a pyjama-themed party I was going to, I’d be wearing a bra and pants under my pyjamas. And I wouldn’t choose a strappy top and shorts set, I’d go for an old-fashioned pair of pyjamas with long sleeves and long trousers. I don’t get the ‘but I don’t wear pyjamas to bed!!!!’ stuff – just go to Primark or another cheap shop and buy a pair of traditional shirt-and-trousers pyjamas, if you don’t have any.

          1. pocket microscope*

            Right! Or leggings/joggers, T-shirt/hoodie – anything you’d lounge around the house in is going to be fine. And of course you can wear underwear. It’s a silly fun thing, not a big reveal of exactly what everyone in the office wears to bed.

            PJ day wouldn’t even be my cup of tea, really – but I’d be capable of participating without angst. Life doesn’t have to be this difficult, my god.

      2. Rara Avis*

        When we have pajama day at the school where I work, I wear a t-shirt (and bra), pajama pants (which SO MANY people wear in public nowadays), and revel in the chance to wear comfy sneakers instead of dress shoes.

      3. House On The Rock*

        Thank you for the injection of common sense. The comments section can be a weird and wonky place where normal logic is scarse and faux outrage is thick.

      5. Nina*

        Okay, but people who sleep nude or in skimpy pajamas or in boxer shorts quite possibly don’t own pajamas they’d be comfortable being seen at work in, and nobody should have to buy a whole outfit (yes I called pajamas an outfit) for a silly costume day at work.

        1. Special Sauce Phanatic*

          People who sleep nude don’t own anything besides work clothes? No yoga pants, sweatpants, lounge pants, t shirts, shorts for mowing the lawn in, hoodies…..??? Again, adults should understand that the intent behind the day is just “wear something cozy” not “you must be wearing a matched set of footie pajamas or you’re fired “

          1. Spooz*

            Hey, there are people who would struggle to find something for pyjama day from their existing wardrobe. I’m one.

            I wear floor length nightdresses to bed, but they’re a bit old and scuzzy to be seen in public. Then I don’t own yoga pants, sweatpants, lounge pants, hoodies. I do own one t shirt.

            So yeah, I would have to go and buy something.

            BUT! I do understand the intent of pyjama day so would either go and buy myself a new floor length nightdress and wear a dressing gown on top and underwear underneath or “forget”. Or just wear my dressing gown on top of a business suit and claim with a twinkle in my eye that they can’t prove that’s not what I wear to bed…!

            I too do not understand all the knickers being twisted. Either bodge something together or don’t participate. Yes, even if it is “mandatory”. Just “forget”.

          2. Disappointed Australien*

            If the suggestion was “wear casual clothes” that would be fine. But it’s not. It’s “wear pajamas”. So it’s more like the Christmas Sweater thing, where a lot of people have never deliberately bought an ugly sweater, let alone a religious ugly sweater, so asking them to wear one to work means they’re expected to buy one.

            1. The man behind the mask*

              Or they can borrow one? Or opt out of participating because it’s not like these things are mandatory. To show that life is a rich tapestry, Ugly Xmas Sweaters (and Xmas Sweaters in general) aren’t really my thing at all. So I don’t have any in my wardrobe. But if I really “had” to get my hands on one and didn’t/couldn’t just get a cheap one off Amazon/primark/goodwill/local
              Thrift store/local FB group/etc, I could also ask to borrow one from family and friends who do have ugly Xmas sweaters out the wazoo.

              Or again, I could skip that event because I don’t know of any *law* that actually *forces* grown ass adults to participate in fun but dumb workplace bonding events.

      6. talos*

        So…I sleep in underwear, and I do own T shirts and flannel pants that I just don’t use regularly. I could theoretically do this.

        But! I’m a guy. I don’t have a purse or a handbag. I need to have a full set of pants pockets to carry the things I need to carry. And in an office that was going hard on Pajama Day, I can’t picture getting away with jeans or slacks without taking a lot of flak from coworkers. Pajama Day just feels logistically difficult for me in a generally discomfiting way.

        1. talos*

          Also, and this is a much more awkward concern, but if you get an erection at work (not exclusively a problem for teenagers! just mostly), then Hard Pants suppress erections much better than pajama pants do.

    3. PropJoe*

      There have been comments in my workplace about having a pajama day before the year ends. I can’t tell how serious it is. If it turns out to be real, I know I can’t wear my actual PJs (skivvies only – I get waaaay too hot to sleep in anything more). Not sure that I’m interested in buying a set of actual PJs just for a work thing. Maybe I could get away with wearing basketball shorts and an inoffensive work-related t-shirt?

      1. Elphaba’s lawyer*

        Yes, basketball shorts and and a work-friendly T-shirt would be totally fine, PropJoe. There are no Pajama Day police who will corner you demanding proof that this is actually what you wear to sleep.

      2. General von Klinkerhoffen*

        I’m convinced that in the UK 90% of employees would be wearing festive nightwear including ridiculous fleece onesies or Grinch-print flannels.

        This kind of garment is currently under £5 in charity shops (thrift stores) and eminently reusable so cost wouldn’t be a bar to participation.

        1. londonedit*

          Agreed! Matching festive pyjamas have been ‘a thing’ for a few years so people are likely to have a pair already, or if not then they’re widely available from charity shops or Primark or the supermarkets for not much money.

        2. Media Monkey*

          yep definitely. my actual pjs (some sort of wide leg or tracksuit shaped bottom and a strappy vest top) would be way too boring so i would hit up primark!

          1. amoeba*

            Oh, yeah, definitely, it would be such a good opportunity to get something fun I wouldn’t usually have bought.

            (Unfortunately, I guess the concept of pajama day hasn’t yet made it to Switzerland…)

    4. kupo*

      I used to work at a place that had a very casual dress code and on days people had to come in extra early (earlier than they normally opened), some people would come in flannel PJs. It was fine. One of the managers thought it was tacky but other than that no one cared.

  9. PDB*

    I had a girlfriend who worked in a law library and firms would send gift baskets and candy at Christmas time. Each basket and box had a sign in sheet and you had to sign for the piece you wanted.

      1. Clisby*

        You mean like I sign out the coconut-covered-in-dark-chocolate piece and you sign out the vanilla nougat piece?

        1. LifebeforeCorona*

          And someone with a silver pair of tongs, gently removes the candy of choice and places it in your outstretched hand. Then you bow to the higher-ups, touch your forehead and thank them for their largesse while The Beadle, Mr. Bumble glares at you.

            1. Princess Sparklepony*

              ‘For MORE!’ said Mr Limbkins. ‘Compose yourself, Bumble, and answer me distinctly. Do I understand that he asked for more, after he had eaten the supper allotted by the dietary?’

              ‘He did, sir,’ replied Bumble.

              ‘That boy will be hung,’ said the gentleman in the white waistcoat. ‘I know that boy will be hung.’

    2. Fluff*

      I can see someone using their name stamp and signing out every. single. piece. I think I might even have an ancient stamp with my name on it somewhere.

    3. NotRealAnonForThis*

      Once worked in a non-academic department of a public university in the USA.

      All gift baskets were donated so as to not present any potential conflict of interest. This included the 5 gallon bucket of Hershey’s kisses that the owner of a firm we did a lot of business with had brought specifically for the staff (who were mainly under the age of 25 and quite frankly, we all had a candy habit and he knew it! He also knew that we had exactly ZERO say in who got contracts and business and were probably underpaid, so it wasn’t exactly like he was bribing someone or asking for a favor!). Big sads.

      1. Bruce*

        You mean you all were given these as gifts and they had to be disposed of by donating to charity? Ouch…

        1. Wayward Sun*

          That’s pretty common in public sector positions. There tend to be really strong anti-bribery/anti-kickback laws. I’ve seen it range everywhere from “you can accept gifts as long as they’re under $200” to “baristas at the campus coffee stand are not allowed to accept tips from customers.”

    4. Bruce*

      One of our vendors from Italy will send us an incredible assortment of chocolate candies from Perugia each year, when I was still working in the office I would take that around and make sure everyone in the team got to pick out a couple of pieces. I didn’t make them sign for it though.

    5. General von Klinkerhoffen*

      Having been the recipient of a US law firm festive popcorn tin (flown to the UK at a cost probably 10 times higher than the value of the gift itself) I am shooketh.

      A tin arrived annually, and went home with the most recent new hire. Mine went to the pub with me on Christmas Eve and a group of Brits quickly ate through it with increasing wonder – cheese flavour popcorn doesn’t exist over here, and indeed our only savoury popcorn flavour is simply salted.

      The tin itself was also beautiful, and was reused for baked goods for years afterwards.

    1. A Library Person*

      I’m not sure I would be brave enough to attempt this, but I have made a Velveeta/over-processed-“cheez”-product-of-choice fudge and it worked surprisingly well! All of my coworkers enjoyed trying “the cheese fudge” (note: I did not spring this on anyone as a surprise; everyone knew what was up when tasting it). The tricky part is fully integrating the cheese…trust me on that one.

    3. Geriatric Rocker*

      Candy adjacent – I have a really nice recipe for gluten free lemon drizzle cake that uses (real) mashed potato.

    5. Zenfrodo*

      That’s one of those recipes that sounds gross…until you actually try it and it’s YUM. Hubby and I went out to eat yesterday at a place that offered “Wagyu Choclate Chip Cookies”…and we asked the waiter, “Wagyu? Like that expensive beef stuff?” Waiter nods, says they use the beef tallow…and, curious, we went ahead and got one.

      It was one of the best choc-chip cookies EVER.

        1. Beebis*

          I knew a couple where the girlfriend was a vegetarian and the boyfriend wasn’t. He told me this story of them being at a party where they were chatting with different people and someone mentioned to him that the brownies having bacon bits in them. She had a brownie in her hand and he dramatically rushed over to tell her before she took a bite. Because who thinks to ask if your brownies have meat in them?

          I had never heard of bacon brownies before but according to him they were very good.

          1. MigraineMonth*

            I don’t have a problem with bacon in general. Personally, I didn’t like it as much as other meat when I ate it, but if you love it, go for it.

            I really hate Secret Bacon! If you’re going to add bacon to a salad, a soup, a sandwich, brownies, chocolates… just say so! Don’t bury it in the ingredients list.

  12. Red Wheel Barrow*

    It’s a little disturbing how happy it makes me that someone getting fired for stealing the shared office food.

    1. Charlotte Lucas*

      It’s the supreme entitlement, especially in someone whose ostensibly a leader that makes it so satisfying.

    2. ReallyBadPerson*

      It wasn’t just the stealing, though. It was their entitlement. They deserved it but the other employees didn’t? I don’t like to see people fired for petty reasons, but this person’s aggressive stance makes me suspect they had other issues as an employee.

      2. Artemesia*

        it is the stealing it before people were served. I have seen this happen before — someone grabs a tray of something and takes it to their car before an event, but it was usually at church dinners or similar events. For managers to steal food before workers have a chance to eat is a particular kind of gross.

          1. Pam Esan Cheese*

            LOL the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster of the Foil Pan on the Floor of the Passenger Seat.

            The joke is that there is a parody religion called the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and also that the dish the person steals is a pan of spaghetti. I am not implying that FSM followers are thieves, only what kind of church might have a very popular and specific potluck dish

            1. It's Marie - Not Maria*

              The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is an officially recognized religion in a couple of countries – Australia being one of them.

      3. Venus*

        Yes, someone who is told by the CEO that they need to return the trays or else they would get help to sign up for food stamps clearly has bigger issues elsewhere. How could someone be so aggressive on this point and not have that show up *everywhere* in their work. I can’t imagine stealing that much food and then fighting for it.

        1. Kay*

          Yeah I don’t think it was the stealing per se, it was the public argument. And I’d bet money it’s not the first issue with the guy.

          1. Sara without an H*

            +1. I think the owner already had doubts about this particular executive and watching him try to make off with all the pasta made the decision an easy one. But such style! I probably would have used my sweetest voice and offered to introduce him to the St. Vincent de Paul people at my church…

        2. PurpleShark*

          Right?! The fact that he doubled down and argued with the CEO in front of everyone? The only time this would be somewhat understandable if he was the family pet and this was a meatball that rolled off the table. Otherwise, that was such extremely bad form that he should have been embarassed and apologized.

          1. BellaStella*

            Humility for people like this is non existent in my experience. I am happy he was fired. I truly dislike entitled jackasses and any time one of them gets a bit of comeuppance I am happy.

            1. MigraineMonth*

              Didn’t you know “liking expensive things” makes you immune from prosecution for both theft and child neglect?

          3. General von Klinkerhoffen*

            Yes, the only possible recovery from the accusation is a very loud and clear, “I thought everyone was done! I intended to take a tray of leftovers to the homeless shelter while the food is still hot!! I wouldn’t dreeeeam of preventing our beloved colleagues from getting lunch!!!”

    3. Bunny Girl*

      I used to work at a law firm as an admin and all the admins made minimum wage in a very expensive city. So we were all super poor. Luckily there were client meetings galore and they always ordered a ton of food, otherwise I would have never been able to afford actual restaurant food. But we had a lawyer (A PARTNER) that would literally sprint to the lunch room when he heard there was food there. It was ridiculous. He took enough to feed at least five people. It always chapped my hide. I would have been soooo happy to see him fired.

      1. Paint N Drip*

        I had a similar situation working in a medical office with literal surgeons. I realize someone making minimum wage and someone drowning in student debt from medical school may have similar expendable income, but it was never the new docs or PAs pulling it

      1. MigraineMonth*

        He didn’t quit, but he did throw an entitlement tantrum when he was told to put it back (“publicly shamed for liking expensive things”), and it’s pretty clear the tantrum is what actually got him fired.

        “It’s okay for me to steal, because I’ve spent all my money on luxuries and can’t afford to feed my kids,” is an alarming attitude to have in an executive in any case. Is he helping himself to other company resources beyond the food intended for lower-paid employees?

  13. Onyx*

    Is anyone else confused by the squick about borrowed cookie cutters? That sounds like a great thing to borrow rather than owning every cutter shape you might occasionally want to use. All the cookie cutters I use are hard, non-porous materials (metal like the snowman in question or hard plastic), so it seems like all you’d have to do is wash them yourself before use (which I’d do anyway even if I knew 100% that they were well-washed before going into the library’s storage). I can’t think of much that I would expect to get on cookie cutters and survive a trip through the dishwasher even if I don’t trust the hygiene of the other users.

    1. Charlotte Lucas*

      Maybe they come back really, really dirty? But I do the same. My own cookie cutters are washed before and after use. (They can go a long time between uses.)

    2. stitchy*

      I’m with you. I’m especially confused about the comment on “why would you want to use a cutter set after knowing one of them (which is no longer part of the set) was used for bachelorette cookies.” They’re still just cookies, and the baking process is the same, regardless of the shape or occasion.

      1. fhqwhgads*

        I thought the point was the borrower was making a big deal out of returning the offending cutter but specifically wanting the rest of that one set, instead of – for example – taking a different (complete, with snowman) set to check out and just mentioning that the other had been mangled (or not mentioning the other). In other words, it was weird to stand them “ahem”ing til they noticed.

    3. Micki*

      My town has a tool library and I know of a baking library in a nearby city. I love both of these because sometimes you just need to do a project without having to buy or rent the equipment for it.

      1. Charlotte Lucas*

        My local library checks out birdwatching kits. Definitely something you want to test drive before investing in.

        1. Lab Boss*

          My local system has a pretty robust “library of things” and a lot of them are that kind of starter hobby equipment, perfect to let someone see if they even kind of enjoy something before investing.

    4. Hlao-roo*

      I think this part explains it: “since who knew if they were ever washed before or after.”

      For the patrons who borrow, wash, use, wash, and return the cookie cutters there’s nothing to worry about. But the librarians know there at least one patron out there who will use the cookie cutters without washing them first and at least one patron out there who will return the cookie cutters without washing them (or washing them well). That’s where the squick comes in.

        1. KateM*

          And you can be the one who cleans your cookie cutters. Nobody but the one who doesn’t is influenced by bad washing.

        2. anonymous anteater*

          Oooh, it’s just icky for the library staff handling unwashed items! Thanks Hlao-roo, I was trying to figure that one out, too!

      2. Spacewoman Spiff*

        Yeah, having worked in a library…people are DISGUSTING. I had to deal with returned books with so many horrifying substances on them, it really made me question humanity. I’d guess the letter writer just has a serious case of having handled one too many mysteriously gooey library books.

      3. goddessoftransitory*

        Absolutely. It astounds me how people can hand over a filthy, encrusted cooking item without a qualm, but there are plenty of that type out there.

    5. Strive to Excel*

      I’d side-eye a plastic set, but for a metal set, not so much.

      If I were checking them out I’d wash pretty well before using of course.

    6. Fluffy Fish*

      People can be very weird about used things. I thrift almost exclusively and the number of people I talk to who are grossed out by used items is definitely non-zero. And its often specific – like there’s people who won’t by used sheets but clothes are ok. Just means more inexpensive stuff for the rest of us.

      1. PleaseNo*

        I will never wear someone else’s used shoes. my cousin is a podiatrist and I am all too aware of all the disgusting, sometimes very hard-to-get-rid-of diseases that can come from sharing footwear, and I could never trust they’d be safe. ESPECIALLY sandals.

        1. Janne*

          I buy a lot of second-hand Converse, but you can just wash them. They do fine in the washing machine. Some new laces and they are like new.

    7. Dust Bunny*

      Because who is cleaning them? Are the librarians cleaning them before they check them out again? I assume people would wash them before they used them but dried dough can be terrible to get out, especially if it has a lot of egg in it. Most of my cookie cutters have a metal rim on the non-cutting side that could theoretically collect detritus.

      (This is why surgical instruments are cast in one piece now. Antique instruments with separately-made handles are impossible to clean.)

      1. Percysowner*

        If I were lending cooking items, I would put a dishwasher in the budget and install it in the staff lunchroom. When the cookie cutters, pans, whatever come back you throw them in the dishwasher on sanitize and you’re done. If it looks like stuff has stuck to it, you fill the sink, soak overnight and then throw in the dishwasher. Also, the staff could use the dishwasher to clean any plates, silverware, etc. they bring in for lunches. It’s win/win.

        1. Dahlia*

          I think you are very much over-estimating the budget of most libraries. My local library doesn’t even have a staff “lunchroom” or any kind of break room.

    8. MotherofaPickle*

      Same on all counts.

      I only have 3? actual cookie cutters, all specific shapes because I was trying to appeal to my dad’s childhood nostalgia (the important one that I lost was a camel).

      I don’t want to pay for something that’s I’ll only use every 5 years and takes up space. I am also going to wash, and probably bleach then wash again, communal property like that. Just in case.

    9. Perfectly Cromulent Name*

      A library in a town I used to live in checked out fancy cake pans! I always washed them before I used them and before I returned them, but it was not that big of a deal. I’d totally check out cookie cutters if I could.

    10. Tech Industry Refugee*

      The issue is that everyone has different ideas of hygiene – the whole “you can’t eat at everybody’s house” meme comes to mind.

      1. amoeba*

        Well, yeah, but you’re free to (and I’d recommend!) clean them yourself before use. Honestly, I’d just pop them in the dishwasher, done. It’s seen worse.

  14. toolegittoresign*

    I would really love to know what’s actually going on with #1 where you’re so committed to taking the food that you’re willing to lose your job over it.

    1. Ellekat*

      Sounds like that may have been the culmination of a larger pattern that OP only came on the tail end for. But you’d be surprised. I’ve seen people walk off with whole pallets of drinks (including bottles of liquor), trays of food etc. at my workplace’s many receptions and get-togethers. I’d speculate he’s probably done it or seen it done with no one saying anything, and when called out he felt “singled out.”

      1. Kay*

        Where I work people will fill tupperwares with buffet food but 1) not until the event is over and it’s leftovers and 2) with the enthusiastic permission of our admin assistant, since it’s already paid for and is one less thing for her or the cleaning staff to deal with. Taking a whole tray while the event is still going on is incredibly entitled!

        1. samwise*

          Same here. We check with our student workers first to make sure they have plenty. Then staff take reasonable amounts. Anything left at the end of the day, staff who are required to be in the office til closing can clean it out.

        3. goddessoftransitory*

          I’m all for people claiming leftovers after an event is over–much better than throwing it out or letting it rot in the company fridge. But that’s AFTER the event, not “as soon as you spot the tray.”

        4. Dust Bunny*

          Where I am it goes in the breakroom fridge for evening and weekend staff. They get the leftovers. It’s part of the “payment” for missing the actual event.

      2. General von Klinkerhoffen*

        I’ve come to understand only in recent years that most people think most people think and act like them. So if you think it’s OK to act in this way, you assume everyone else is only not doing so if they are constrained by circumstance. That works in positive, neutral and negative ways. “Everyone diligently separates their recycling, right?” and “food must not go to waste” and “that rule is more of a guideline”.

        The person aggrieved in this kind of situation may genuinely believe that everyone does this and he’s the only one being punished (like being pulled over for speeding when other cars are flying past). That’s the kind of feeling people push back against.

    2. Sola Lingua Bona Lingua Mortua Est*

      It’s also possible the fight was moot and the CEO had already decided that would be the thief’s final day.

    3. Micki*

      I speculate that when he was called out on it, he realized that he had two choices:

      1. back down with apologies and humility, knowing it’s all people would see when they looked at him for the foreseeable future
      OR
      2. Double down and insist that he had the right or even the moral high ground based on whatever he could come up with in the moment (“think of the children”) because option 1 is untenable.

      There is a reason pride is one of the deadly sins.

      1. MigraineMonth*

        There are some people who, for some reason, cannot ever take route 1. I don’t know if it’s pride, if they don’t recognize it’s an option, if it runs so counter to their self-image that they can’t bring themselves to do it, or if they’ve been taught that showing any kind of “weakness” like admitting a mistake will be punished.

        So they will lie, play the victim, try to change the subject, or attack whoever challenged them, but they will never, ever admit wrongdoing. Even if it costs them their job, their marriage, their relationship with their children. At least they aren’t *weak*.

        1. Disappointed Australien*

          Some of us were brought up that immediately admitting fault for *anything* led to punishment, usually angry lashing out. Denying even the blatantly obvious often delayed the process past the first outbreak of extreme anger so even if we got punished it was (much) less severe.

          I’m aware that I still do this (I’m 55!) but I try to overcome the inclination when I notice it. But it’s a completely subconscious process a lot of the time, especially if there are social stressors. As well, an apology later in private means much less than an immediate public one.

  15. That Library Lady*

    One of our library’s cookie cutter sets has a hand shape and a foot shape (why??). And a snowman.

      1. Charlotte Lucas*

        Just remembered something from when I was sent to religious day camp. The feet might be used in a “Footsteps in the Sand” lesson. Iirc, we got feet made out of that permanent art dough stuff (popular in the 70s) with a copy of that poem, essay, what have you.

        Mystery solved!

      1. goddessoftransitory*

        Maybe as church offerings? I know many South American churches have saint’s statues and shrines where people leave carved wooden body parts–hands, feet, you name it–as a representation of the part of them that needs healing.

  16. Elara Harper*

    People are weird about free food, period. I also worked somewhere a veep was fired for taking an entire tray of cinnamon rolls that had specifically been purchased for a breakfast for assistants on secretaries’ day. One of the assistants saw the tray in the VP’s office and went to retrieve it, and the veep started shouting at her, which drew the attention of the CEO. A closed door convo between VP and CEO ended with VP leaving permanently. The veep made mid-six figures and could have purchased her own tray of fresh cinnamon buns for $60 (at the time).

    1. Anona llama*

      “People are weird about free food, period.” THIS. My department had a Halloween-themed employee breakfast one year. A co-worker took two enormous handfuls from the candy bowl, plus stuffed their pockets and jacket with juice bottles and wrapped pastries. For context, this same co-worker also refused to pay an extra dollar to add cheese to their sandwich when we all got subs.

      1. Just Another Cog*

        People ARE weird about free anything, but it seems to get even goofier with food. It’s almost like they lose their sense of right and wrong when presented with something for the taking. “To hell with the others, I DESERVE this”. I will never understand the mindset.

        The VP in this story and the senior employee in the original post probably had other issues brewing before their firing offenses, but holy sh*t, what silly hills to die on.

      1. Phony Genius*

        In some cases, I think this is less about getting free food and more about enforcing hierarchy. I wouldn’t be surprised if this VP simply couldn’t stand people who were “beneath” her being given something that wasn’t given to her. I also wouldn’t be surprised if they weren’t fired, but quit because they didn’t want to work somewhere that would wouldn’t allow such a strict hierarchy.

    4. goddessoftransitory*

      This, so, so much. And the more money/higher up people are, the more unhinged they seem to get around a tray of tacos or mac n’ cheese. You’d think the stuff was liquid gold, not pasta.

    1. Charlotte Lucas*

      Agreed! I was thinking that if the rank and file employees had to have a delayed lunchtime, the executive staff could do the same.

    4. Coffee*

      Was it medieval England where some important lord was accidentally saved from being poisoned because his enemies didn’t know that he always ate last at home?

    5. Lab Boss*

      I mean I use the phrase “Leaders eat last” all the time, but usually it’s just making a metaphorical point about taking care of your team, I so rarely get to mean it literally.

  18. raincoaster*

    Story #1 is one of my favourites on this site, and I think I’ve read every story on this site.

      2. WellRed*

        Although I hope doing it in the cookie plating room made all the other women who fell for this gendered (and costly wtf?!) bulls rethink their willingness to put up with this the following year.

        1. Paint N Drip*

          I agree. It was a statement FOR the others just as much as it was a statement for the rabid organizer

  20. Annie*

    I’m the cookie day lady (#9), and am so honored and delighted to see my story posted again. Thanks Alison!

  21. Anon for reasons*

    One of my old employers used to host pretty alcohol laden holiday parties at the office until one year someone got in a big wreck on the way home… this was before my time but I heard it was really bad. So they shifted to other venues, and the CEO was someone who liked wine when it was appropriate… Anyhow, he would brag about how he had worked so hard that his marriage had broken up, and that he expected his employees work to put work ahead of their marriages too… then at the party he was explaining this to the wife of one of my co-workers, and she LOUDLY and FIERCELY cussed him out for it. The following Monday he called my co-worker into the office, and said he wanted to apologize for what he’d said. Co-worker said “Don’t apologize to me, apologize to my wife.” So CEO called her up at work while co-worker stood by, gave a sincere apology to her over the phone, and apparently it was graciously accepted. That was the end of it, but co-worker was still creeped out and found a new job within a year…

  22. Just Another Cog*

    The bacon pigs (pardon the pun)…reminds me of a banquet my spouse’s culinary arts class catered at the high school. A bunch of young guys came through the line and literally each took an entire sliced pork roast (3-4 lbs each) and nothing else. When the young men came back for seconds, they were turned away. The student chefs had to serve more reasonable portions of the meat from then on.

    1. Sara without an H*

      Well, portioning is an essential skill in the restaurant business. Glad they learned it early in their careers.

  23. Slimboy Fat*

    IDK, I feel bad for the person who had made the potato candy and I feel like the submitter was being over the top and kind of mean, honestly. Maybe I’m just squicked out by the numerous references to dog turds?

    Also, I can buy a well-paid exec taking excess food all the time AND being a useless single dad who can’t be bothered to ever cook for his kids. And I can even buy that his boss finally called him out on it. I just don’t know that I can buy that all happening in public, to that level of calling out, with him being let go later that day as a result.

    1. StarTrek Nutcase*

      Yeah I hear you. Of course, I have a hard time with people with so limited life & work experiences that they are suspicious of others who relate personal anecdotes. Many of us have seen & tasty shitty culinary creations, and seen seemingly small bad choices become the final straw that result in firing.

    2. londonedit*

      If the OP was expecting something that tasted one way, and bit into something completely different, I can understand the ‘what the…??!’ reaction. Somehow it makes it worse! Like if you think you’re about to eat a sugary chocolate chip cookie and it turns out to be an oat and raisin one with wholemeal flour. It might not taste actively bad, but it’s not what you were expecting! But yeah, it’s not nice to compare someone’s handmade sweets to dog turds.

    3. Seeking Second Childhood*

      I agree that OP& the commentariat are being harsh on a well-intentioned Pinterest fail of a cookie. (And I’m thinking of experimenting with mashed potato flakes myself now–just no salt and butter)

      But I can easily see a “last straw” starting in a public context. And I think it’s telling that OP doesn’t say/know whether he was fired or quit. No way to know which one was the hothead.

    4. Carol the happy*

      We had a chair of department who was a notorious Brownie and Krispie Treat thief- once he demanded that the caterers open their heated cabinets so he could inspect the temperature of the meats inside- but those cabinets had thermometers on the outside.
      Security caught him tryiing to steal 4 huge pans of ham and turkey, plus stuffing and potatoes.

    5. MigraineMonth*

      I think the attempted meatball & pasta theft blew up like that because the exec tried to excuse his theft because he claimed he *couldn’t afford* to feed his kids, rather than he didn’t have time/energy to cook for them. At least, that’s how I took his comment about the CEO shaming him for “liking expensive things”.

      On the original post sharing the story, the person who shared the story made it clear that the entire workplace, including the “heroic” CEO, was well outside the bounds of professionalism, so I’m not doubtful that this could happen. I’ve worked at a couple of places that were toxic enough that people were let after a public blowup with managers/CEOs.

  24. Beebs*

    #4 the bacon monitor–TBH I need a bacon monitor at work breakfasts because I love bacon and for a variety of reasons don’t cook it at home. So when I get the chance, I’m all in. I always try to judge how much I can take without looking greedy. “Oh, gosh . . . these pieces all stuck together so I guess I have to take the whole clump.”

    1. General von Klinkerhoffen*

      As a counterpoint, I’m not sure it’s possible to cook too much bacon, so I think the caterers should maybe just make what looks like a ludicrous amount of bacon and shrug when it all gets eaten.

    3. Free Meerkats*

      Should the bacon monitor try to control my bacon consumption, I’d have to claim a religious exemption as I’m an ordained minister in the United Church of Bacon. If anyone wants a free officiant (we’re not allowed to charge), let me know.

  25. Blue Spoon*

    Fortunately my workplace is very chill about food, so I’ve never had any stories like this, but I did just have to clarify “for legal reasons, this is a dessert” on this year’s holiday party sign up (my go-to dessert for holiday parties is called crack, and I can’t just say I’m bringing crack to work for obvious reasons)

    1. Peanut Hamper*

      Ugh, I really hate recipes that use the word “crack” in the name. It is highly problematic for all sorts of reasons that are easily googleable.

      But I would very much like to have the recipe!

  28. Tradd*

    Not sure if I’ve told this story before. I worked at a place for 13.5 years, being laid off at the beginning of covid. Manager was a toxic witch. I think she used that as an opportunity to to get rid of me amongst the other layoffs, but it turned out to be a great thing.

    Anyway, I had a customer I’d handled for years. She always sent me a box of chocolate mint candy at Christmas. This had happened for 6-7 years. The last Christmas I was there – 2019 – toxic manager took the package out of my hand as soon as I had gotten it from the UPS guy. I was allowed to take one piece and that was it. I had always had a few pieces in previous years and then left it on my desk for others to help themselves as they liked – to share the hip spread. LOL. I think the toxic manager was just pissed a customer liked me enough to send me candy that she took it from me.

    1. Judi Gunn*

      Wow. I’m not sure “toxic witch” is nasty enough for that person! I’m glad you aren’t there any more (sorry that it was a layoff though).

  29. Literally a Cat*

    As a child who had a parent like this, I suspect the owner also had a parent like this. It’s less of a gotcha, more that he really recognised what’s going on. I wish there are more astute people like the owner.

  30. JewishAndVibing*

    7 – Why would the previous shape of a cookie cutter that she didn’t even get prevent her from checking them out?

    Like, I’d point out the bent shape myself, and I’m not remotely a prude.

  31. Grimey*

    The salsa one reminded me of a holiday party at my old job. One of our departments was contracted through another company, and they’d throw a large Christmas breakfast party in their part of the office every year, going all out on decorations and food, to thank us for our support. A lot of people looked forward to that morning party more than our company’s own party at a fancy restaurant with alcohol.

    One year that group got a new local manager and the invitation went out that the event was changing from a breakfast party to a Mexican fiesta at noon. This was in Los Angeles, and there were multiple great Mexican food options within walking distance. When it came time to party, we all found out that the entire fiesta was a bag of Tostitos and a jar of Tostitos salsa. There weren’t any napkins or plates, and the only “decoration” was a wadded-up Rite-Aid bag on the table next to the chips and salsa. As far as I know, the bag and jar went unopened the entire fiesta.

  33. Emotional support capybara (he/him)*

    #8 took me OUT. “General Grievous with crowbars to my kneecaps” took me out. Wheezing, tears, everything. A+.

  34. Exhausted Trope*

    OP2, that “divinity” sounds so. very. gross. But back in college, a friend taught me how to make Needham bars, a traditional confection made with UNSEASONED mashed potatoes, sugar, coconut, dark chocolate and a few other ingredients. They taste like a Mounds™ bar on steroids.

  35. Always Tired*

    I didn’t think that night was THAT bad, but apparently it was if I made the list as “the cursed walk.”

    I did throw those shoes out, btw. Now I work in construction and mark all my DDs for office parties. (protip to party planners: you can tell the venue no shots, and you can tip the servers/bartenders at the start of the event to tell attendees it’s a venue policy, not the company fun police’s rule.)

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