am I supposed to cover 100% of a coworker’s job when they’re out?

by Alison Green on April 6, 2026

A reader writes:

I’d like advice for keeping your sanity when acting as someone’s PTO back-up.

I had a former coworker who I was paired with for many of our responsibilities. When she took time off, she would set her Teams message to “do not disturb” for two days prior to going on PTO and two days after returning. This would add an extra four days to the time I had to cover for her because no one could get ahold of her and I was the default. However, when I took time off and she received a request for me, she would just tell them, “You will have to wait until Jane is back.” Nothing happened when I tried to talk my manager about it.

A current coworker just puts my name down in his out of office message and doesn’t bother to give me a heads-up. I asked for that to stop and it hasn’t happened since.

The last two weeks or so, I covered for another coworker who was out of the country for two weeks. He is a totally lovely person, and I was happy to do it for him. He did leave some big issues unresolved, which I had to push through while he was gone. Here is my issue with this: he is a director and has oversight for X, I am a manager and have oversight for Y, so I don’t know the ins and outs of X. The only thing in common is that the same vendor provides X and Y. Every single person who reached out while he was out expected the same level of knowledge, decision-making, and follow-up from me that he is able to provide. I did what I could, but it took so much time that my own work took a back seat. He is now back, but I am still dealing with follow-ups and fallout.

My prior management always had expectations around what you could leave unfinished or having an “out of office” plan and limiting it to “urgent” issues only. My current manager does not. How do you set appropriate boundaries around being someone’s PTO coverage when management does not? Both with the person you are covering for and managing the expectations of those reaching out?

I wrote back and asked, “When you say nothing happened when you tried to talk to your manager about the first coworker, what exactly did you say and what was her response?”

When I talked to my manager, I explained what my coworker was doing and how it extended the PTO coverage beyond the actual days she was out of the office. I also explained that she didn’t reciprocate when I was out. My manager just said, “Oh, really?” I’m not sure if she said anything to the coworker, but nothing ever changed until I left for another position within the company. The coworker was somewhat of the “golden one” with management, so I am sure this just ended up that they didn’t want to rock the boat with her.

Did you directly ask your manager for what you wanted — as in, “I’m going to let Jane know that I can cover for her on the days that she’s gone but not for the two days before she leaves and the two days after she’s back — okay with you?” Also, ideally before you went on your next vacation, you’d say to your boss, “Can you ensure Jane will cover for me while I’m gone? In the past she hasn’t, but my understanding is that we’re supposed to cover for each other.” If your manager gave you another vague response like “Oh, really?” you could say, “Yes. I haven’t been able to resolve it on my own, so could you talk to her about how coverage should be handled?”

And if your manager’s stance was that Jane wasn’t doing anything wrong, then you might as well see how much room there was to do the same thing on your end — or at least the part about telling people they’d need to wait for Jane to return if they needed something particularly onerous. (This assumes you and Jane were in relatively comparable roles; it wouldn’t work if her work was more urgent to have covered than yours was.)

With the coworker you covered for where people expected you to have the same level of knowledge as he did: when you’re covering for someone, it’s generally fine to say, when needed, “I don’t have all the context (or authority) on this that Maxwell does so he’ll need to handle it when he’s back” or, if it can’t wait, to escalate it to someone above you for help. It’s also okay to say, “I’m just covering for Maxwell while he’s out, so I can do X to keep this moving but Y will need to wait until he’s back.” If that isn’t enough for what the situation requires, you should loop in your boss to figure out how to proceed. It might be that much of your work really does need to take a back seat while you were covering for this colleague, but that should be a conversation you’re having with your boss if so. That would also mean that the next time Maxwell asks you to cover for him, you should explicitly cite what happened last time and ask for his help in keeping your coverage to essential items only. He might have no idea that happened, and before he leaves he might need to better set expectations with the people who are likely to contact him.

In general, though, you’re right that it’s normal for workplaces to have expectations around what you can leave unfinished when you’re away and often to limit coverage to urgent issues only. If your manager expects that covering for an absent coworker means “you do 100% of their job, just like they would do it when they’re here,” that’s pretty ridiculous — it would mean that someone else would need to cover for you while you were covering for your coworker!

But there’s a decent chance that you can manage this by being assertive with your coworker before they go on vacation about what you can and can’t handle and explicitly asking them to set the correct expectations with their contacts before they leave. If that doesn’t work, then the conversation to have with your boss is, “If I need to take over 100% of Jane’s work while she’s gone, then we’d need someone covering for me during that time! Assuming that’s not practical, and since I can’t fully cover both jobs at once, my plan is to prioritize XYZ and leave things like ABC until she’s back.”

{ 101 comments }

{ 101 comments… read them below }

  1. Tradd*

    The coverage while out really will depend on what the workload of the coworker who’s gone looks like. In my industry (international transportation/customs brokerage), the freight doesn’t stop moving. I will have clearances pre-keyed so coworkers can just submit to Customs. Other stuff that is last minute while I’m gone, they’ll have to do the entire thing. The day someone is back, they get all their files back (will probably be on their desk when they come back), unless there’s something complicated covering coworker might handle to completion. Covering for two days before they’re gone, not gonna happen!

    1. The Unspeakable Queen Lisa*

      But what happens to your own work? Are you expected to drop less urgent things or to work overtime to get 2 jobs done? Or is there a 3rd person or even a team that also helps out?

      Like I used to work on a team of 6, with a main cross-trained backup. But there was a 3rd coworker who could also pitch in for emergencies, like if he was on vacation and I was sick. For a different topic, 3-4 people could have pitched in to help.

      1. Tradd*

        When we’re off, the rule is that you MUST get everything possible pre-keyed before you’re gone. That means asking clients for documents on shipments arriving through the day after you’re back. You then have to work your butt off before you’re gone to get everything pre-keyed before you leave. This really does help lessen the amount of your stuff coworkers have to do while you’re gone, when you only have to hit the send button to submit to Customs. For anything other than urgent shipments and the pre-keyed ones, you have to pick and choose what you do of the coworker on PTO. It’s very common for us to tell a client that X will be addressed when coworker is back in the office. I will also cherry pick my own workload and put off the non-urgent stuff.

      2. Beth*

        In my experience, if I’m covering for someone, it’s mostly about making sure urgent balls don’t get dropped. Usually it means I answer a few emails for them, or handle the button-clicking for some routine daily tasks that need upkeep while they’re gone. It doesn’t typically impact my workload unless something crazy happens–and if an emergency does come up, I’m looping in management and triaging work to the colleague best equipped to handle whatever’s on fire. I might drop one or two non-urgent tasks, but I’m not dropping my entire workload to handle the problem solo.

        The person who’s out owns their work right up until they leave and picks it up right away when they get back. (OP’s coworker claiming an extra 2 days on each end is really audacious! I’d love extra days of no emails/customers/tasks, but that’s so obviously not in the spirit of OOO coverage.) I don’t handle non-urgent work for them–they either prep in advance for it to sit while they’re gone, or deal with a pile-up when they return. If they’re planning to be out for a long time, they should be working with their manager to clear their plate or arrange solid and well-distributed coverage beforehand.

        1. n*

          That’s been my experience, too. When I’m covering for a colleague or our manager – especially when it’s a planned absence – it’s about making sure that urgent, unanticipated things get handled. When I’m covering for a colleague, this can be as simple as forwarding on to our manager to decide how to deal with. A lot of these are requests for information. If I know, I’ll just respond. If I don’t, I’ll try to find out if I can do so with a reasonable amount of effort.

          When I’ve covered for the manager, it’s similar with dealing with the essential stuff and not making decisions about things that can wait until she’s back. Sometimes, this has meant going to the Director for guidance about how to approach something, since there’s often context I don’t know (and it would be inappropriate for me to know).

          We’re fortunate that there are formal processes in place for management to delegate authority when they’re away. So a Director signing on behalf of an executive has the same weight as if the executive signed off.

      3. Reluctant Mezzo*

        I found out I had to do both jobs (coming and going) for over a month when making an internal change. It Was Not Fun.

    2. Davey*

      Yeah, that seems straightforward enough, except your co-workers apparently know how to fill in on your behalf up to completing tasks, and that it’s understood they will do so when feasible.

      Conversely, LW explicitly states “Here is my issue with this: he is a director and has oversight for X, I am a manager and have oversight for Y, so I don’t know the ins and outs of X.” Doesn’t sound like the same as what you describe for your workplace, so it’s unclear what you’re advising.

      @LW: I like the advice of doing what you can until co-workers return. Then it’s on them to pick up from there.

      1. Tradd*

        Some of the stuff I do, neither coworker knows how to do well or only does occasionally. We’re trying to improve this with cross training, but the simple fact is if you only do something a few times a year, you’re going to be slower with it. I’m also the manager, so I have more authority than either of my coworkers.

  2. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

    My current employer offers a nice perq after 5 years: a paid 1-month sabbatical. Many people use this for dream trips. But you’ve got to write, get approval for, and publish your coverage plan well before you leave:
    * who’s taking care of what (usually responsibilities are farmed out to 2-5 coworkers or managers)
    * who to escalate to (boss or grandboss)
    * status of major efforts

    I don’t think this level of detail is necessary for a week off, but the spirit should be followed. You don’t just get to waltz out the door and dump a stack of disorganized work on one unlucky person’s desk.

    1. Philly*

      My office has done this for long leaves also – things like parental leave or extended vacation. It’s also common in my office that someone’s manager becomes their coverage for big things since they are the most likely to be able to make decisions with vendors like OP describes. I agreed that it will make your life easier if you clarify coverage ahead of time, either specific to various projects or by saying “I can approve employee timecards but can’t manage all the processes with Vendor,” etc.

    3. Vermonter*

      1) Where do you work?
      2) Are they hiring??

      (I’m not actually asking you to dox yourself. The 1-month sabbatical after 5 years sounds great, tho.)

      1. Freya*

        Long service leave like this is a universal right here in Australia. The details are a bit different depending on which state you’re in, but you can take your long service leave after 7-10 years with a business, and it accrues at a rate of about a month per five years continuous service (pro-rated to the actual service time before you’re allowed to take it).

        I’m in NSW, so I’ll get 2 months after 10 years with my employer (and then an extra month every five years after that). If I were working five minutes drive over the border into the ACT, I’d get 6.066 weeks after 7 years service (which works out to about a month per five years) and then 1/5 of a month per year after that.

        The whole long service leave thing here in Australia dates back to our colonial heritage – basically, 150 years ago, you got long service leave to cover the time it takes to sail to England, spend a week with your family, and then sail back to Australia.

        Having said that, I’m in a position where if I didn’t have citizenship already, neither of the countries I have citizenship of (Australia and New Zealand) would accept me as a permanent resident :-(

    4. LifeisaDream*

      In one of my first jobs a co-worker dropped a pile of files on my desk Friday afternoon, informed me that she would be away for a week and it was now my job. I picked up the files, returned them to her and said that I was too busy and had no idea how to do her work, so no. My very good manager backed me up and the work was transferred to someone who knew how to do it. It turned out the “work” was months’ worth of tedious admin work that she had been putting off because it was so time-consuming and tedious.

  3. Loopy*

    I find this varies wildly and more often than not, the person covering is just a placeholder in meetings who cant make any decisions or take any actions so the coverage is useless. Its been very frustrating in the past but Ive never seen it addressed well by mgmt and this letter really illustrates that.

    When I am out I choose the right coverage person who I can empower to make decisions and trust has enough knowledge and sound justdgement to do so, and then I make that expectation/empowerment clear.

    But I am not sure how much of this LW can take into their own hands as well, instead of relying on a manager.

  4. morethantired*

    The two days on DND before and after seems pretty bold. I don’t see how any manager would be okay with that. I could see like a heads down day before to get everything sewn up before a vacation and a half a day after to catch up on email/teams/slack but two days is way too much.

    1. Medium Sized Manager*

      I put on my auto-reply about 3 hours before I leave for PTO, and I usually block out the first couple hours of the day I get back, but two full days is wild. And I am a senior manager with 10 direct reports!!

    2. A Significant Tree*

      Right? I thought that time might be for the coworker to wrap up key things before the vacation and then handle the onslaught after the vacation. Instead, it sounds like they bought themselves 4 extra (unapproved, regular-paid) days of time off, which should not be the LW’s problem to manage. If no one could reach them, that should have been escalated to the manager immediately, not the LW.

      There should not be any expectation that coverage for another coworker is needed if that coworker is expected to be working.

    3. Ellis Bell*

      I think that’s pretty bold too. Cultures differ, but in mine I would have emailed on day one of that happening, copying in our boss, saying I hadn’t really anticipated providing an extra two days of coverage, ahead of time, with no notice that it was going to happen. Then, while outlining the tasks I had planned to get through on those two days, I’d wrap up with how I’d told those who reached out that I’d requested Jane check in with them before going on leave unless there’s something I’m not aware of preventing that. It’s true she could have expected OP to brush people off in the same way she did with OPs requests, but just ditching people into that situation wasn’t okay and I think you at least need to have a dialogue about the impact it has on you.

    4. Hanani*

      My office has a norm of having the day before you leave and first day you’re back of a longer absence marked OOO on your calendar, but that’s just to protect you from meetings. You’re still expected to be working those two days, and I wouldn’t turn on my OOO auto reply until I was actually gone. Any coverage is for my actual absence, not for those buffer days.

      It’s a good system, highly recommend.

      1. The Unspeakable Queen Lisa*

        Ooh, that’s excellent. Nothing worse than coming back from a long trip to find out there’s a big meeting the second you walk through the door and you have no idea what’s going on.

      2. Glitsy Gus*

        Yeah, I usually turn on my OOO at around 2pm the day before I leave. I’ll still be around, and I’ll answer the email if it’s urgent, but that way if I run out of time to respond to something non-urgent, the sender will know why and who to talk to, if necessary.

    5. Erin K.*

      Two days on either end is absolutely bananapants. Like, I get wanting to wind down your existing stuff and not take anything new, but completely unreachable? I think my eyebrows went up so far that the Artemis II crew ought to see them on the way towards Pluto. The audacity of some people boggles the mind. (Also OP’s manager sucks; “Oh really?” as a response to someone expressing that sort of sentiment? Should’ve forwarded all of the contacts for coworker to the boss and made it their problem.)

      1. Oy Oy Vey*

        Well, we have to protect the golden one’s time at all costs, and of course they’re not expected to communicate about that because that’s how they set boundaries. Because they’re the golden one and they don’t have to answer to anyone except for leadership.

      2. hypoglycemic rage (she/her)*

        “I think my eyebrows went up so far that the Artemis II crew ought to see them on the way towards Pluto.”

        this is not relevant, but i’ve been obsessed with artemis 2 and loved this reference. (also pluto you will always be a planet to me.)

        they just broke the record!!! :D

        3. Tulp Bloem*

          We got the Matilda DVD from the library (with Mara Wilson and Danny DeVito) and there’s a trivia/games bonus section. My kid got soooo mad when it asked “How many planets are there?” and the answer wasn’t “eight”!! Hahaha!

        4. Freya*

          The control room has a plushy Artemis from Sailor Moon! And Stanley G Love, who brought it in, wears a Sailor Moon lanyard!

          (the Canberra Deep Space Communication Complex (we call it the Tidbinbilla tracking station – Tidbinbilla is the Australian national park it’s situated in) is and has been doing the communications stuff for Artemis when the other tracking stations are on the far side of Earth from the spacecraft. It’s about a 45 minute drive out of the Canberra city centre, and worth visiting if you’re over here)

    6. Lily Rowan*

      You especially can’t BOTH need your coworker to fully cover your job while you are out AND need two days on either side.

      1. Allonge*

        This. Maybe, maybe you can ask to hand over the emergency calls or whatever for the last hours so that you can finish what you can.

        And especially especially: you do not get to unilaterally decide this. You ask.

    7. Threatened by Brilliance and Youth*

      I had someone on my team leave it on for a couple of days when they got back from a longer trip to help them catch up on everything they needed to catch up on.
      I pointed out that because I was named as the point of contact in their out-of-office message, it meant that things that should be his problem were becoming my problem and I did not much care for them being my problem. He’d honestly just not thought it through and rectified it immediately.

    8. Amateur Linguist*

      Agreed. We’ll give grace to people who are catching up, but we are definitely supposed to be available at least for routine meetings during that time. The people in this position are generally quite high up and they do have a deputy (who can’t be off when they are and vice versa; management practices what it preaches when it comes to frontline teams, and when we really couldn’t go without a senior manager for six weeks, we temporarily promoted a wunderkind receptionist, who was in a similar role elsewhere within six months), but I don’t and I spend the few days after I get back clearing my inbox, checking whether stuff still needs to be done (which in itself is part of collaboration and so on) and setting my stall back out for project work that I’m engaged in.

      Things don’t stand still and coverage is part of the nature of property management job such that the seniors at least are on call for other areas and sometimes may have to travel to cover for someone else. There’s an on-call rotation for each to be contactable in an emergency (it actually happened on Christmas Day last year that there was a serious electrical fault at a site that needed attention from a senior manager to authorise spending on the necessary repairs). The job moves too quickly for someone to simply put their role on hiatus and not be covered.

  5. jaymzjulian*

    I had a similar issue a while ago, and the really hard lesson to learn was that fundamentally most of what I do can wait, and that’s true of most of the people that I’m covering. Coverage is supposed to not be “do everything in the job”, but “do what can’t wait”. In the white collar world, especially if you’ve planned your PTO around non-essential dates, “what can’t wait” isn’t honestly that much of the job.

    So the manager’s view that nothing was wrong here might be honestly correct – “you’ll need to wait until [person] is back” is often the right answer

    1. The Unspeakable Queen Lisa*

      Well, no, the manager was wrong in that the LW was doing 1 thing and the coworker was doing a 2nd thing. There needs to be a consistent system. If “wait until they get back” is right, then manager should have told LW to begin doing that instead of working 2 jobs. If doing everything is right, then they should have talked to coworker to have them do that.

    2. Bluefox*

      Manager’s view is that Lisa gets to shove four days of work on top of her actual absence to OP, but Lisa also gets to shove work for OP to do later during OP’s vacation. Truly they’d have no standard if not for the double standard.

  6. Strive to Excel*

    I’ve always understood the rules of coverage to be as follows (in a non-coverage-based field).
    * You prep or preload as much as possible for the time you’re away. If you’re gone on Friday when a report is due, then your due date for the report is now Thursday.
    * If you can’t prep it, push it to when you’re back, and warn people it won’t be until you get back – if that report needs Friday morning data to run, then it’s going to be done on Monday instead.
    * If neither of those work, then it goes to a coworker who gets briefed ahead of time on any routine items that will come up – again with as much pre-prep as possible.
    * You are responsible for letting everyone know when you are gone and who to go to for what.
    * Coworker/boss is responsible for specific work that you’ve arranged with them ahead of time as well as triaging any emergencies that come up, and is responsible with updating you on your return about how any emergencies/irregularities went down.

    1. Happy meal with extra happy*

      Yup, that’s essentially how it works in my field as well – the person going on PTO is expected to shift their work so that as much as possible isn’t needed or due during PTO, and we generally have the flexibility to do so.

    2. OP*

      In prior roles we did this and had to have coverage plans in place. These last two roles, which ironically are also more senior, seem to be all over the place.

      1. Eman*

        I am not sure if there is something specific to your office/industry but what Strive to Excel describe is pretty much what I am used to.
        You are a manager too so I think you should be able to drive this for yourself and initiating this process. It sounds like you need to do a lot more proactive conversations with your coworkers and boss ahead of yours or other people PTO. Also, for my own PTO (and for what I have seen with my colleagues), I identify several coworkers considering who will be better equipped to address what, sometimes i will ask my boss to take on a specific task if it makes more sense. I never have one single person to cover for everything for me, although I realize this can be very dependent to the type of job you are in. I also always have a check in with my boss and coworkers too about my plans and expectations so we are all aligned before leaving. Also, when your coworker put her DND on her calendar 2 days before/after, what is preventing you from simply directing people back to her and let her handle who she wants to prioritize and just tell her that?
        I may be missing context from your letter but it comes a bit across as you being frustrated in your corner and waiting for your boss to do something instead of actually having the conversations with the right people.

      2. Technically Australien*

        IME with more senior people the replacement is often more a triage setup. Their job is to delegate tasks more than do them, especially delegating upwards, but also to make a list of things that should wait. Do what you can, delegate where possible, leave what can be delayed.

    3. Dust Bunny*

      This is how we work, too. And they can call me if it’s an emergency, but in 21 years they never have.

    4. MissMuffett*

      This is how my team works too. We cover multiple clients each so usually we pawn off a few to a variety of people so no one person is inundated. Not everyone needs attention all the time, so it’s up to me to
      – pre-work as much as possible so stuff doesn’t carry over
      – save anything possible till i can come back
      – walk through anything that MUST be done while I’m out (for whatever reason) with the person backing me up on that client
      – communicate with clients that I’m out and my backup is available but they should only reach out if it’s something that can’t wait

      I also make sure my internal people know that I’m not proactively checking emails but if something crazy comes up to text me so i can hop into my emails or on a call to quickly help out so they can keep things moving and not sit spinning their wheels. This lets me not disrupt my time off with regular email checks, but be available for a true emergency or getting stuck. (I don’t travel with my work laptop so my assistance is limited to just helping the ball stay rolling).

      This has worked pretty well for all of us – we all help each other out across the year.

  7. NotKansasAnymore*

    LW, make sure you ask these questions of your manager on email so that the coverage expectations are in writing, and you can refer back to them. Both when you are the coverage and when you are the one on PTO. It’s much easier to enjoy your PTO, and less stressful to be coverage, when you have that back-up. Sometimes wondering what you are supposed to do is more stress than just trying to power through!

  8. Ellis Bell*

    It’s always been my understanding that some things just have to wait while people are away. The person babysitting their role is just some one who can flag up anything especially urgent to leadership or who can let an enquiring person know some obvious outlines or look at the in house calendar etc. Will some people hope against hope that you’ll just magically help today anyway? Yes, but you don’t have to do that. OP has knocked her own work out of the way in order to be helpful to others, but there’s no indication that anyone in her line management actually expected that.

    1. Antilles*

      OP has knocked her own work out of the way in order to be helpful to others, but there’s no indication that anyone in her line management actually expected that.
      I agree. Along similar lines, I’m not sure why OP thinks “every single person” expected her to have the same level of decision-making and knowledge as a fill-in for a director because that’s absurd and absolutely not the norm. This feels far more like OP self-imposing an expectation that others don’t actually have.

      1. The Unspeakable Queen Lisa*

        I assume it’s because “every single person” spoke to her as if she did. So their expectations were wrong and the director didn’t let their contacts know that their coverage person wouldn’t have the same abilities. That’s not all on LW. Frankly, I don’t get why the director didn’t have another director handle their coverage.

        However, LW is not powerless here and I think that is their issue. Just because someone has as an expectation doesn’t mean you have to meet it. LW could have said, “Oh, I don’t know enough about Llama Pots to make that call. This will probably have to wait for Director to get back.” Or, “What would Director normally do with this?” Or, “In Rice Sculpting, we’d go with this, does that make sense for Llama Pots?”

  9. OP*

    OP here, two other coworkers were out all last week and had me down as back up. They did ask up front and I stipulated that they let me know if there were any upcoming urgent unresolved issues. There were none and I had to only tell one person that would need to wait until my coworker was back. If only it would always happen like that.
    The 2 days DND before and after PTO scenario, that coworker was more “valuable” than I was with management. So, she pretty much got to do what she wanted. I once requested a Friday off and we had to have a meeting scheduled by the manager with another coworker that I didn’t usually back up. It was to ask her if she was current with her work. She was, so the manager then granted my PTO request. I left that role as soon as I could.

    1. VoPo*

      Yikes! The situation with that first coworker was not ok. If I was the manager in that scenario, I would be having a serious talk with them and clearly telling them they could not go DND like that on days they were working or they would not longer be working there.

      On my team, we do a lot of cross training so we are able to spread out a lot of the tasks that still need to happen when someone is out over multiple people. As the manager, I make sure that ownership and scope of the backup is understood ahead of time.

    2. Ellis Bell*

      So that explains the boldness of going completely offline for unofficial holidays and the vagueness of the”Oh really?” from your boss.

  10. Ms. Murchison*

    I wish AAM would also include what to do when your manager responds to “since I can’t fully cover both jobs at once, my plan is to prioritize XYZ and leave things like ABC until she’s back” with “no, you need to do both.” I tried to use AAM’s negotiation advice with a manager years ago when I was overloaded, explaining “I’ve realized I’ve been taking on too much extra lately and it’s interfering with my core duties, if I’m going to take on major project A, then I can’t continue to be head of optional team B and still get my own work done,” and my supervisor responded “No, you need to handle it all.” First time I’ve ever had a complete meltdown at work; I had to hide in the bathroom because I started crying hysterically trying to put a plan together. My coworkers had been telling me for two years how lucky I was not to be assigned to that major project because it was so miserable.

      1. Pensive*

        Hahahahahha welcome to government jobs. Workers: “This task is literally impossible with the amount of time, people, and resources we have. For example no one on our team speaks [language], so we cannot produce documents in [language]. Also, if we try, we would drop this other extremely important project.”
        Management: “The mayor says we need to do both. In all the languages. No, there’s no budget for translation services. Also, here’s another new initiative the council just mandated. Oh, and there’s a hiring freeze.”

    2. Ellis Bell*

      You can’t control what other people do, and sometimes you can’t even control what you yourself can do; obviously when you have this kind of boss who is impacting your health, the answer is ‘leave’, but that isn’t always possible. What you can do is make sure the manager gets as much of the share of the pain on their plate as you can reasonably get away with. If they want you to do everything and it’s impossible, you warned them and you did what was reasonable to achieve. If they didn’t staff the project in line with common sense, and by heeding your warnings, they simply won’t get what they want. It’ll get much worse if you reward their behaviour! Success isn’t “I did it all and pleased the boss”, success is “I did a reasonable job, but didn’t expect them to acknowledge it, and if they’re still pissed off, tough because I spoke up about what the reasonable results would be”. You’re still going to suffer stress and health ramifications from having such an unreasonable boss, but at least you now have some your spare time to job hunt instead of spending all of your waking hours on the gerbil wheel of trying to please an impossible tyrant.

  11. Lacey*

    I literally do the exact same job as the coworker I cover for and no one expects me to do both 100% of their job and mine while they’re out. There are two of us working for a reason.

    No one has ever been so much as a huffy at me once they understand my coworker is out. And honestly, they love to be huffy, so that kinda just shows how normal this is.

    1. allathian*

      Yes, the same thing goes for me. It’s only a problem if one of us gets sick while the other is on vacation and there’s a statutory deadline. That’s when our manager will apply for an extension if all else fails. The threshold for canceling/postponing someone’s vacation is very, very high. It may be difficult if not impossible to reach the person since we aren’t allowed to take work devices out of the country on vacation.

  12. Some Dude*

    The first example is wild to me. If someone reached out to me on one of those days, I’d be upfront with them. “I know Jane has herself marked as do not disturb, but she is working today. If you’re having trouble getting a hold of her, reach out to [manager]. She’s asked me to cover for her while she’s out, but until then, I’m swamped with my own duties.”

    1. hypoglycemic rage (she/her)*

      this is also an interesting point. in my workplace, unless someone’s status was OOO/a PTO message was up, I’d still message them, and then just assume they’d see and reply to the message once they got a chance. DND being on would not deter me from sending the message.

      1. Strive to Excel*

        If something is very urgent, I’ll go to the next person in line or CC a boss to get something done, but otherwise, I will also send things while someone is DND. I just don’t assume the person will see them immediately.

        1. Media Monkey*

          DND normally just means they won’t get interrupted by notifications in my experience. not that they aren’t available for anything.

      2. Lacey*

        Yeah, DND would not, to me, mean the person was out of the office. Although, if they’re setting their autoreply to say they’re unavailable that could be part of the issue.

        And I know every workplace is different – but even then, I’d just send the message and assume they’ll take care of it when they get back! If they couldn’t be bothered to make a plan for how it would be handled – it’s not that urgent for them!

    2. EA*

      I want OP to channel that surfer guy in that Jason Segel rom com Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Do less!!

      1. OP*

        I like it! Interesting little side comment. Out of that entire team, I think all but 1 person was laid off. The “Golden One” as well. I left as soon as I could and have only moved up within the org. Also, the horrible nasty big boss over that department got laid off as well. She has a podcast now about relationships. Really? Cause you weren’t a shining example of anything….

    3. Ellis Bell*

      This is a really interesting approach, and given what OP says about management bending over backwards for Jane as “valuable”, it has the advantage of making it their problem.

  13. hypoglycemic rage (she/her)*

    this is so interesting to see how it varies from person to person, or workplace to workplace.

    i am an admin at a law firm, and when there were two of us, we covered each other. now that it’s just me, if i am gone, my boss (who is the office manager) has to cover for me (minus the phones, which the legal assistants have to handle). when anyone else is out, they find a peer to cover, but i don’t have a peer so my boss has to handle everything.

    but i cannot cover for her, because she handles a lot of stuff i do not have access to. if she’s gone, her boss handles stuff.

    but i have not been out for longer than a day or two since i’ve been the only office admin, and i am so curious to hear how it’s gonna go in about a month when i am off for like three days in a row. cause i can stock and prep as much as possible, but eventually my boss is gonna have to handle that, and anything else that i normally do. whether she ultimately enlists help from other people, or lets some stuff slide, is not for me to decide.

    1. FunkyMunky*

      I feel like if your boss is your cover, that’s her problem to solve – not yours!

    2. allathian*

      Yep, it’s your manager’s problem.

      That said, coverage issues are different when there are long breaks. I’m in Finland and vacations of a month to six weeks are common in the summer, especially in the public sector where I work. So from about mid-June to the end of August only the most urgent and routine things get done. We don’t shut down completely but no new initiatives are taken until everyone’s back. But the system’s built for that so it works.

      My husband’s the only one doing his job in a private company. He’s also senior enough that he has to be reachable most of the time and can’t really go incommunicado even when he’s on vacation.

  14. Cat Lady in the Mountains*

    If I’m covering for someone, I ask for a list of everything they need covered and instructions for how to handle coverage at least two days before they’re offline. If they don’t send it, no coverage happens. If they send it late, as much coverage happens as I’m able to do without the opportunity for some back and forth on it. Usually I have at least a couple questions about the instructions, and if someone sends me too much, I can negotiate directly with them in enough time for them to find other solutions or proactively consult with my manager.

    But the onus is really on the coworker who’s out to deliver what their coverage needs, not on you to make miracles happen.

  15. anonon*

    it feels like OP is being oddly passive? like why are you covering for your coworker instead of sending people to them? Redirect them. “She’s on DND but she’s actually not out until Wednesday”. Being listed as an OOO contact means you’re an option for urgent situations or time sensitive responses, not that you’re doing 100% of your coworker’s job while they are out. It feels like OP is doing too much to cover for others and then is surprised when that’s not returned.

    1. Orion's Belt*

      Yes, I see it the same way. While I think OP is being very generous, they need to learn to deal with people who are “takers” and don’t reciprocate. I only go above and beyond for people who have proven they will do that for me.

  16. Database Developer Dude*

    Wow…just….wow.

    If that were me, any calls that came in for CoWorker Diva during the two days before and after would be routed directly to CoWorker Diva, DND status or not. If they said anything to me, my response would be “You’re physically here, and you’re working. Coverage is for when you’re out of the office. This is non-negotiable”.

    1. OP*

      When she was on DND, all attempts to contact via Teams are blocked. She can just ignore emails. It was 100% virtual and she was in a different state, so I couldn’t just get up and walked to her desk. No phone calls, everything via emails or Teams for urgent issues. Everything was on a clock with service level agreements and $$$$ attached. Also, someone downstream would be negatively affected. I try to place myself in their shoes and do my job accordingly. So, most things were quite urgent.

      1. I went to school with only 1 Jennifer*

        Yeah, this is when you have to share the pain with your boss.

  17. Someone Else's Boss*

    If someone reached out to me while my colleague was still technically working and asked for help, I’d send them to her. If they said, “she’s not responding,” I would suggest they try her boss. I think a big part of the issue here is that the LW has been dealing with this on her colleague’s behalf when that is not her job. I manage a team of support staffers who are bleeding hearts and the thing I coach on the most often is the invisible boundaries that everyone else seems to have but they don’t. It is HARD! It’s hard to let things sit when you could help. But its sooo necessary to function in today’s working world.

    1. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

      This is an excellent point. The first colleague got away with this because the LW is a conscientious person who was doing her best to be a good coworker/employee and keep things moving. When everyone is the same way, that’s an awesome way to be. When there’s people taking advantage, the way to deal with it is to stop being so accommodating and to loop in management so they can see the effect this is having / make it their problem. Tell management that you can either handle the X from the colleague’s job or Y from your own, so which would they like you to do?

      You shouldn’t light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

  18. KatieP*

    I used to have a subordinate who thought that 100% of her position should be covered while she was on vacation.

    I soooo badly wanted to point out to her that if we could pull that off without wrecking someone’s work-life balance, she should really be worried about her job security. If someone else has the capacity and skill to do all of your job, we don’t need both of you…

  19. Jamoche*

    > Every single person who reached out while he was out expected the same level of knowledge, decision-making, and follow-up from me that he is able to provide.

    My first job was a tiny 20-person software company for small mainframes running POS software (point of sale, what did you think I meant?). It was a fragile stack of interconnected mini apps, prone to falling over (bad data would cause one mini app to fail, and you had to fix the bad data then manually restart the stack where it had left off. It was the 80s…), and there were two employees who were experts in handling customer calls to put it back together.

    I wrote code for the little apps, but not the code that stacked them together, but I’d heard those two on the phones often enough to have picked up some things.

    One year nearly everyone went to a week-long conference. I was one of the ones left behind. Both of the experts were gone, but could call a customer back from the conference if needed. Of course a customer calls in because their stack fell over, and no, they couldn’t wait for the experts. I gave them the basic tips, which didn’t work for them. So they hung up, but not before saying what a bad choice it was that my company “left the stupid ones behind”.

    1. OP*

      Awww. Sorry! They did this to me too. They ALL went to two different vendor conferences and left me to cover for the entire team. It is a small team so that meant about 5 people. However the real shocker is that no one told me in advance. This is the time of year where the conferences are coming up and it was brought up on a team meeting. I made sure I spoke up and explained what happened that year and put some boundaries in place. So, I am trying to shine a light on how ridiculous it gets. I also need to book an extended vacation some time soon!

      1. Jamoche*

        Thanks! My reaction was just “how rude!” and to put another item on the list of “why this company is a good example of a bad place to work”. Very useful list to have when searching for a second job, which was so much better.

  20. Workerbee*

    I guess I’m not sure why you’d agree to cover for a colleague who does notably different things than you do, no matter how lovely a person this colleague is. I hope you do advocate for yourself in the future, OP, about this and other things! Including stepping back from “expectations” when it seems not even management gives a damn about people following through.

  21. Thegreatprevaricator*

    I am so culturally confused by this letter. Why are you doing someone else’s work if they are back? Why are you doing someone else’s non urgent work if they are on leave?

    In my job, if I go on leave I can nominate a contact who is normally my line manager for internal or customer services for external. I’m not in a manager role. And people.. wait until I get back if it’s not time sensitive? I don’t take leave of if I can help it in the middle of lots of deadlines or a project.

    I work in the public sector in the uk, which may explain the difference (though not all – adjacent to some parts of public sector which seem to be in urgent need all the time)

    1. LL*

      I’m in the US and this is how it works in my organization too. If my boss is out and there’s something that only she can do, I’m not expected to figure out it out, I just wait until she’s back. Or bump it up to her boss, if necessary. And the people who need answers are fine with that, they understand how it works.

  22. MtDoom*

    Coverage issues like this are why I retired. I was “yoked” to a colleague and whenever they were out, I was 100% responsible for their desk and my own. When I would try to get clarification from our boss it was clear I was expected to hold down both desks and make it “seamless”.

    My colleague had a FMLA issue every year I worked with them along with lots of last minute absences and prolonged bereavement leaves. This person was out of the office more than the rest of the team combined. When I asked for help covering months of time off I was told “it’s yours to handle”.

    Not only did I have to cover both desks but when my colleague returned I had to keep the work from their teams that I had covered. It was insane.

    After I retired I heard from other team members about how onerous the coverage was. Yeah, I know. I really think “emergencies only” and handing back work after the fact is the way to go. Trying to cover both jobs and make people feel like it’s business as usual is really hard.

  23. Raida*

    When I’m asked to cover/field questions for a person who’s going to be out I set up a half hour meeting with them to open their calendar and email and todo lists, and run through the answers and status of everything, and get a few “if it is subject A forward it to person X”

    It’s great, it always picks up a few “Oh Sam will be asking about this, tell her that it’s delayed until – of yeah good point lemme just drop her a line now.” and a few “X will not progress until I’m back, it has to go to The Committee and they meet last week of every month.”

    If anyone *doesn’t want to* do this, I tell them that’s fine, I will tell anyone asking a question I don’t know the answer to “Ah sorry mate, that’s not something Jesse went over with me, I can’t help with that one. They’re back [day/date], do you reckon it can wait until then?”

    (Is that a threat? Yes. Clearly. I am going to be very relaxed and cordial in telling people it’s *your fault* that they can’t be helped by me specifically. And I will *not* feel bad about it. I’m trying right now to do a good job and to help their customers and them. If they don’t want to put in as much effort that’s their choice – this is your job, not mine mate. And oh don’t worry, my Manager, Director, and Executive Director already know I’m trying to set up this meeting to ensure *your work* is covered while you’re out.)

    They always realise that’s not what they want people to hear, and magically make time to do their bloody job.

    1. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

      Brilliant! In a previous job, if we were going to be gone for more than about 3 days, we had to write a coverage note that had details of everything we were working on and any issues that were happening / anticipated. Might not be feasible in all jobs, but it worked well for us.

  24. I Have RBF*

    This whole thing reads like your coworkers are entitled and abusive, your management is passive and useless, and you are the only one who steps up.

    One coworker takes two days on either side of a vacation to dump their work on you also? Oh, no, no. If they are in the office, you need to hand their crap back to them right then. Others don’t take up your work when you are out, just put people off, but put you as their out of office contact without your knowledge or permission? Entitled, at best.

    You are being taken for a sucker, I think. You are apparently the default fill in for entitled people.

    I suggest you start looking for a new job. You office is full of bees wearing entitled little banana pants and banana hats.

    1. EA*

      This is such an extreme take. I mean, selfish maybe, but nothing here is abusive! Or even “full of bees”.

      OP should definitely try out what Alison and commenters recommend (speaking up more clearly, passing the work back to the coworker) and be more assertive before jumping to quitting.

      1. allathian*

        The OP posted an update as OP above, they quit.

        It’s very hard to be assertive when your manager is passive and willing to let your coworker do what she wants.

      2. Bluefox*

        Nothing abusive at all in Jane spending 4 days around her absence essentially buffing her nails and yet the same Jane does nothing to cover for OP when they are absent?

      3. I Have RBF*

        No, it’s abusive. They are abusing her dedication and diligence for their own gain. They are using her to skate on their jobs while dumping their work on her. Four days on the sides of an actual vacation? That’s damn near an extra week of “coverage”, meaning they dump their work on her when they should be doing it.

        That’s abusive, full of bees, and her manager was useless.

  25. I should really pick a name*

    For those 4 days when your co-worker has do-not-disturb enabled but is in the office, redirect any inquiries to them.

    For the coworker who lists you without consulting you, just respond to inquiries with “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you with that. They must have put my name down in error”

  26. TGMC*

    /sits here baffled by and somewhat jealous of people who have coverage/

    I (and many folks at my level) have unique positions that no one else can cover for. Luckily our work also isn’t life-or-death (nonprofit and program/project based) but if I go on leave, my work just… doesn’t get done. I have to pre-load or catch up later, or (what most often happens) bring work with me and operate half time.

    There is an expectation that folks on maternity leave (and other extended leave types) have a real coverage plan but really not much for basic vacations. Heck, we’re not even having checks processed for like two weeks because that person on the finance team is away, and I guess no one else on that team can/will do it. So things just aren’t going to get paid!

  27. Dazzling You Too*

    Fun fact: I discovered this site several years ago when working on a project where the lead expected me to do the whole-ass job of someone on parental leave, in 20% of my time which was supposed to be spent on that project, for the duration of the parental leave.

    And that was one of the least egregious things that person did…

  28. Shauna B*

    I work in payroll, so things are a little different for me. My supervisor is currently out on bereavement leave after her son died unexpectedly. I am doing basically ALL THE THINGS because I am trying to ease her burden and make sure she has an easy transition back to work when she returns. My coworkers are also covering some of her payroll duties as well. In payroll, people still have to be paid, even if someone is out, so I guess it’s just automatic to me to make sure everything is covered.

  29. Spacewoman Spiff*

    If Jane is in the office for two days before and two days after- then just keep referring those inquiries to her when she is there. Whether or not her messages say do not disturb, can’t you just re-direct them, and maybe copy in the boss if she lobs them back at you?

  30. Sweetheart*

    “No I will not cover for you on days you’re not on vacation”. It’s as simple as that.

  31. Media Monkey*

    this is WILD. I my industry we would normally work in teams, no more than one person in the team can be off at one time, and the person on holiday would prep hard – try and finish up anything outstanding or push back delivery dates to when they were back, let everyone know when they are away, who to contact and when they will be back, not take on anything but super urgent projects that someone will cover, and write really clear handover notes on anything that couldn’t be pushed back. even with client/ external facing work, no one expects anything more than the bare minimum stop the wheels from falling off type stuff.
    I did once have a boss who would push every request to my first day back so I was swamped, do nothing of my work and then complain how hard he had to work while I was off…

  32. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

    A big piece of this has to be that so many organizations only have just enough staffing to cover what needs to be done when everyone is there, so when people are away – even on planned vacations – the normal workload of the team can’t happen. But management expects it to happen anyway.

  33. LL*

    I’m wondering if there actually IS an expectation that OP will fully cover the job of the director level colleague when they’re out or if that’s something OP thinks is true, but really isn’t. Because it really doesn’t make sense to me that a lower level employee would be expected to cover 100% of a higher level employee’s job.

  34. Spreadsheet Queen*

    Well, this was painful.

    In my experience, if I’m covering for someone for more than a day, I have generally been expected to do 100% of their work and 100% of mine. (Except for stuff one could truly put off – in the old paper days, that was the filing and stuff like that. Now that everything is electronic shared files, you do that as you go.) I seriously covered for a coworker for I think 6 weeks once when she was out for surgery and I did a good 80-90% of her job and close to 100% of mine. Although, some things were a little slower (except external deadlines, always had to meet those). We shared an office, so even though she was in a more senior job than mine, I did know enough to cover and had to escalate very little to her manager (fortunately, we shared a manager, so if I needed him, he was on it!) I worked a lot of hours during that time. She was a great coworker though. And she always covered for me if I needed it. And we shared some stuff that technically belonged to one or the other of us, just because it was easier to flex and flow that way.
    Most of my other jobs, if I was out, unless it was a deadline, most of my stuff was waiting for me when I got back. I’ve been a “department of one” at several places, so coverage was interesting. Like, a request would come in while I was gone that was due while I was gone and the company President and the company Controller would get together and do it. Because there wasn’t anyone else.
    I have NEVER run into anyone who stopped taking work 2 days before their PTO and didn’t pick up any new work until 2 days after. I get that you’d prioritize projects to get done leading up to your leave and for a couple days after, or you might even ask that your coverage by copied so you can tell them what you didn’t get to on the way out the door. But to act like you aren’t there? No. (Obviously, the calculation on a longer leave would be different – like if you have a surgery planned and you’ll be out for 6 weeks, yeah, you might stop taking certain requests that you can’t follow through on, and you might turn on out of office a day or two early so you can spend that time on loose ends and hand-overs. but never in a million years do you take 2 days silent, 2 days off, and 2 days silent. WTF.

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