Comments for Ask a Manager https://www.askamanager.org Sat, 05 Dec 2020 12:14:30 +0000 hourly 1 Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by sswj https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208026 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 12:14:30 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208026 In reply to Sparkly Librarian.

I’m in South Carolina and when it gets cold (finally) here I keep the place between 66 and 68, with 64 or so for sleeping. A lot depends on if it’s very sunny, or damp and windy. I’ll actually hit the heat sometimes just because the place feels damp even if the house temp is where it usually is. The humidity where were are can be worse than the actual air temperature!

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Outside Earthling https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208025 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 12:10:50 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208025 In reply to Lemonwhirl.

I love this. Now I want to go to Ireland and stay in a lighthouse! Preferably the one in Marian Keyes’ latest book, which I also loved. In 2022.

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Comment on share your funniest office holiday stories by Tantallum99 https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/share-your-funniest-office-holiday-stories-2.html#comment-3208024 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 12:06:18 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20484#comment-3208024 Our company was smallish—100 people or so and VERY conservative. Our CEO was very proper and religious and a complete teetotaler. Our holiday party was always on Friday late morning/early afternoon with no booze. Sometimes we had lunch at a restaurant but this time the party was in the conference space in the office and they hired one of those “mystery theatre” groups that mingle with party guests acting out a “crime”. They gave everyone a brief backstory on the plot and some of the higher ups had roles in addition to the hired actors. After we ate lunch the actors group took over and finished the play. What ensued was the raunchiest, jaw dropping sex filled “jokes”. Remember this is daylight with coworkers and no booze. Taking about oral sex and yeast infections and more. The material would have been fitting for a bachelor party at midnight. And they kept on going! They would pause for laughs after every cringeworthy comment but we all would just stare back in mortified horror.
Needless to say our company never had them back. We went bowling the next year instead.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by sswj https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208023 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 12:01:51 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208023 She should be WELL used to it now and it’s not a frightening place to be. Now it’s time for her to learn patience there, and if you’d rather her stay in the crate than the pen make that where she sleeps. Put her in it with a toy or a kong or something and then close the door and preferably go away for a couple of hours if you don’t think you can ignore her banging to get out when she’s done with her toys. While you don’t want to force her to GO in, you can increase the time she stays there. She doesn’t get to make the rules, and you need begin to see the difference between her frustration at not doing what she wants *right now!!!!* and real discomfort/distress (gotta pee!). They need to learn to deal with frustration, and the only way they learn that is to be frustrated. It takes willpower on your part, but it’s doable.

Questions:
-Is there a reason you want to use the crate over the pen? If she’s happy in the pen can you just use that?
-If your aim is to transition to crate only, can you set the pen up as a patio of sorts in front of the crate? She’s still contained, – the pen is attached to the crate on either side of the door so it’s all one space. Then gradually shrink the pen space so that there’s a whole lot more crate than pen, and eventually just crate.
Keep at it. At 4 months she should be getting a bit more of an attention span, be able to hold her bladder pretty well, and it sounds like she’s learning lots.

She (and you!) can do this!

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by AvonLady Barksdale https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208022 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:56:12 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208022 In reply to Guilty daughter.

Work on ignoring the guilt trip. She will come at you, so just be prepared and say no. Don’t make excuses. You don’t feel safe traveling, period.

My family is all about guilt. It took a long time (and a lot of therapy) to recognize that their guilt trips don’t outweigh my reason or my discomfort.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Teatime is Goodtime https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208021 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:54:43 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208021 In reply to Detective Rosa Diaz.

So the really cool thing about babies and small children is that the whole world is really interesting. Mundane tasks or items are things they’ve never seen before, or things they’ve never understood before. The discovery factor is huge and so much fun to watch. Which is all to say: your whole house, your every day life, will be totally fascinating. Baby toys and baby activities are great, but also know that everything in your house and everything you do will be great too.

Things I did a lot with my child at that age:
-Walks. So many walks. Tree walks, field walks, street walks, walking by any place that had lots of commotion just to watch from afar (playgrounds, schools, businesses, bus stops, horse riding school, places where birds were nesting, anything). Any place my son loved, we went back often.
-Kitchen stuff that stacked or whacked or could fit inside other things was gold. Tupperware! So much tupperware. It’s like learning physics but for babies–what happens when I do x? What noise does it make when y happens?
-Random objects that locked his attention. We had about two weeks where our doorstops were the coolest things in the house.
-Housework tasks that needed doing. Vacuuming with a small child is totally different! Takes longer but is so much fun, or at least it was for us. Cooking with him watching me stir. Loading the washer and pressing the buttons. Make these things an activity! Yes, it takes longer, but it’s wonderful bonding and discovery time.
-Food! Let him squish it. Let him eat it. Let him throw it on the floor. Plan a bath right after. Totally fun. Sensory learning is great and really important.
-Reading. We read as much and as long as we could. There are such great books out there, but you can also read the ingredients list on non-breakable food containers or magazines that you get free somewhere that he can rip to shreds and so on
-Cant go wrong with peekaboo. Can’t go wrong with repeating back what he says to you. Can’t go wrong with talking to him about anything and everything. It doesn’t have to be magic words or perfect activities. Just be yourself, but with him.

That’s all to say that my advice is to just live your life, but live it now with a small one attached to you and see what happens. :) Woo! I’m so excited for you!

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by StellaBella https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208020 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:54:20 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208020 In reply to Guilty daughter.

The virus is spreadable for weeks after. Look up the cdc info. Do not go.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by AvonLady Barksdale https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208019 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:51:58 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208019 In reply to Aximili.

I’m waiting to make any decisions until there’s a vaccine. I just took a job that requires travel but the company won’t allow it until at least July, but I’m itching to go somewhere– and my frequent flyer miles are growing (airline credit card) so I want to go somewhere before they expire. Still, my desire to fly is way lower than my desire to stay safe, so we’ll probably save our miles and our money for a trip in 2022. We’ve been talking about Japan.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Dog and cat fosterer https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208018 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:50:34 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208018 In reply to Pennyworth.

Yes, huskies and similar other breeds often want to be outside, especially in the winter. They are waiting indoors in the a/c all summer for the return of cold weather so that they can hang out in the snow.

I would worry if the dog was very thin, but it has a lot of insulation. I feel very sorry for obese dogs but I wouldn’t be surprised if the neighbor is feeding junk food often.

If you see the neighbor then you could ask to confirm that the dog has access to shelter, either with a doggy door to the house or a shelter outside. But someone who mistreats their dog tends to do so out of view, and the fact that this dog has a fence that encloses the entire yard and the dog is often out front makes me think that the owners have nothing to hide.

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Comment on update: my emotionally fragile employee is sobbing at work multiple times a week by micklethwaite https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/update-my-emotionally-fragile-employee-is-sobbing-at-work-multiple-times-a-week.html#comment-3208017 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:50:27 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20530#comment-3208017 In reply to Paperwhite.

I’m not seeing any trend in the comments towards getting rid of Brenda. I really don’t know where you’re getting that from. People aren’t shouting for her to be fired, they’re just pointing out that loud sobbing multiple times a week for months on end should never have gone unaddressed. That it would be very concerning and disruptive in most office settings, and so the OP’s perception that everyone! loves! Brenda! is worth deeper examination.

That doesn’t have to mean blaming or judging Brenda for her difficulties. It really, really doesn’t. I have been miserably mentally unwell at work, I get it. But there are times and places where you can let yourself fall apart, and times and places when you can’t, and if you regularly lose control at work then it’s a strong signal that you badly need more help than you’re getting. Brenda has done that now, which is great, but it should have been addressed far earlier. OP is still doubling down very, very hard on the idea that everyone at work is fine with this degree of emotional involvement, and commenters are still expressing doubt about that because, well, it’s very unusual and would be too much for a lot of people.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by StellaBella https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208016 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:50:06 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208016 In reply to Quandong.

No, my doc looked at it and asked if i wanted more physio, so i may do this in a month if the virus is less present. She said it seemed very tight but is not an arm or muscle specialist. I was there for a pap smear. :/

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Guilty daughter https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208015 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:50:04 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208015 In reply to sswj.

My excuse was going to be giving them corona. Now they all have it, and my mom is already insisting that they’ll be fine before the 25th. Even if they are, I don’t want to go.

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Comment on open thread – December 4-5, 2020 by Sarah https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/open-thread-december-4-5-2020.html#comment-3208014 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:49:32 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20505#comment-3208014 In reply to Mella.

But in some cases, the baker has some authority over the orchard owner (e.g., can compel her to prioritize apple picking over pear picking). If that’s not true here, just tell your PM that clearly and without unnecessary backstory.

PMs are doing their job. If you try to approach their questions that way (instead of treating them as annoying nagging time wasters) you will get further with them. If an ounce of your tone here is apparent to them, you’re making it harder to collaborate not easier.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by sswj https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208013 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:45:37 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208013 In reply to Guilty daughter.

That you are so very sorry the pandemic has forced so many difficult changes and you are so sad not to be able to come this year, and let’s plan on some Zoom/FaceTime/WebEx get togethers.

And maybe, if you can distract her with flattery, ask for a special recipe of hers, or advice on how to do something she loves that you don’t already do for holidays so you can have a bit of her Christmas at home this year.

Stick to your guns. You are in the right and her feelings about are her own to manage. Stay well …

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Kali https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208012 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:44:24 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208012 In reply to Kali.

To clarify, I mostly do have the system figured out now, I don’t need help there but…how are people supposed to figure it out if they don’t know?

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Buni https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208011 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:44:09 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208011 In reply to Sparkly Librarian.

My own internal ‘chilly, better put the heat on’ alarm goes off at about 15C / 60F, then I’ll put the heating on at about 17.5 / 65. It rarely falls below -5C here and I’ve warm-loving neighbours below me, but I’ve only single-glazed windows and a badly-if-at-all insulated roof above, so it evens out.

Mind you, I also grew up cash-poor in a succesion of large old draughty houses, and if you went complaining about the cold to my parents you’d better be already wearing 17 jumpers when you did…

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Puppy! https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208010 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:40:50 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208010 Update: Less excercise! More Training! Thank you everyone. She is the star of the zoom puppy class. Sits, down stays, come, touch. Working on wait.
Reminder, she is in her 4th month.
she sleeps in a pen.
Question: Crate training. I’ve watched the videos, I have read books, articles etc. Puppy class!
No one says how long this should take BUT NEVER FORCE THE PUPPY!
An estimate- days, weeks?
How many times a day should she be “playing” in the crate- she eats 2 meals and at least 2 kongs.
The trainer says put her in when she is tired.- if she is sleeping she wakes right up and plays “bang on the door, let me out!”
Do I just Ferberize?

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Kali https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208009 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:40:10 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208009 In reply to WS.

I have ordered an appetiser as a main before, usually if I wanted to have room for dessert.

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Comment on update: my emotionally fragile employee is sobbing at work multiple times a week by micklethwaite https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/update-my-emotionally-fragile-employee-is-sobbing-at-work-multiple-times-a-week.html#comment-3208008 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:37:34 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20530#comment-3208008 In reply to Threeve.

Yes, I’d have trouble with this if I worked there – I am all for people being able to admit when they’re struggling and I’ve no time for workplaces that want their employees to only have emotions off the clock, but this degree of emotional involvement between colleagues would overwhelm me and make it difficult to do my actual job.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by CoffeeforLife https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208006 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:33:55 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208006 In reply to WS.

Just don’t asked for entree size in the US, that’s our main meal portion :) We like to make up new meanings for words.

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Comment on update: will it hurt my chances of getting hired if I can only do video interviews? by Forrest https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/update-will-it-hurt-my-chances-of-getting-hired-if-i-can-only-do-video-interviews-2.html#comment-3208005 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:31:19 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20533#comment-3208005 In reply to Forrest.

(Though it probably isn’t Ireland as they’re currently telling people not to come home for Christmas. :-( )

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Comment on update: will it hurt my chances of getting hired if I can only do video interviews? by Forrest https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/update-will-it-hurt-my-chances-of-getting-hired-if-i-can-only-do-video-interviews-2.html#comment-3208004 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:30:43 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20533#comment-3208004 In reply to Moeg.

There are ferries to Ireland, the Netherlands, France and Spain! We always go to Ireland by ferry.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by CoffeeforLife https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208003 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:29:32 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208003 In reply to Bobina.

I made black tea pork chops. Sorry no recipe as it was long ago but I remember brewing strong tea as a braising liquid. There are several recipes on the web.

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Comment on update: will it hurt my chances of getting hired if I can only do video interviews? by Forrest https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/update-will-it-hurt-my-chances-of-getting-hired-if-i-can-only-do-video-interviews-2.html#comment-3208002 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:29:29 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20533#comment-3208002 In reply to Office chair ‘borrower’.

We got to take stuff when we initially left, but then they shut down campus until it was “COVID-secure”. Once it was clear that we weren’t going to be back in after a week or two, they organised a system to let people book to come back on and take things away. So if you didn’t have a car or a way of getting big things home on a random day in March, you were basically stuck til June!

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by WS https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3208001 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:29:27 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3208001 In reply to Kali.

Fancy and/or independent places tend to be the ones that restrict the kids’ menu to under-12s. Chain restaurants of any kind should be fine. And you can always ask for “entree size” – this is what my (tiny) mother does.

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Comment on share your funniest office holiday stories by MonkAdrianMonk https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/share-your-funniest-office-holiday-stories-2.html#comment-3208000 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:27:27 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20484#comment-3208000 In reply to martha.

Unfortunately, if you return the item, credit is probably going to be applied to the original form of payment (i.e. company or CEO credit card). Is there anything on the site you can regift, or maybe even sell?

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by AvonLady Barksdale https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3207999 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:25:19 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3207999 In reply to Good Doggo.

Let it go. At our last place, which had a front and a back yard, my dog would beg to go outside at all times and in all weather, just to lie in the sun or sniff things and watch the world go by. It’s his favorite thing to do.

Unless the dog is barking or whining incessantly or looking neglected, with a ratty coat or skin and bones, just leave it. The chips thing? Chips aren’t usually considered bad for dogs, especially if it’s just a couple.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by CoffeeforLife https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3207998 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:23:54 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3207998 In reply to Sparkly Librarian.

We just had a technician out and I asked him the same question. He says he keeps his place at 72F (22.2C). I think our windows are poorly insulated and there’s always a drafty chill in the air if I put it in the 60s. We’re in a mid Atlantic state, so 4 seasons and it’s in the 40s right now

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by WS https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3207997 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:23:28 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3207997 In reply to Bobina.

Soak sultanas in tea before you make sultana cake, it really gives them a depth of flavour.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by WS https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3207996 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:22:31 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3207996 In reply to Lonely Aussie.

Totally normal. Anything to do with your heart or lungs is going to leave you exhausted, let alone anything requiring a week in ICU. I would expect them to tell you to pace yourself, but not to cut out anything specific. You should definitely keep checking in about the breathing because they need to continue monitoring your lung function.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Kali https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3207995 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:18:22 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3207995 Can we talk about kids menus in restaurants? I like them because restaurant portions are normally so oversized, so a kid’s meal is a great deal. I initially thought they were quite straightforward, you pay a bit less for less food, seems like a good deal for everyone. That is how it works in fast food (I grew up poor), and I still love a happy meal today (at 32). But a few years ago, I noticed some places were really off with you if you wanted to order a kid’s meal as an adult (I’m British, it’s not about the top). I googled and apparently some places offer kids meals at a loss to appeal to families, since the parent will also need to be there ordering food and they make their profit there. I guess that explains why they don’t want me to do it, but how was anyone supposed to know that’s the system? And how do you know when that’s the case or when it’s McDonalds rules? Some places in a similar price range do just offer smaller plates for slightly less. I guess the strict places do specify “for kids under 12” or whatever, but if you know nothing about the “behind the scenes” of family restaurants, those can be mistaken for guidelines, not a strict rule.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by CoffeeforLife https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3207994 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:08:43 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3207994 In reply to A.N. O’Nyme.

Any recs for games to play with precocious 8/10 year olds but also fun for adults? The family has most of the mainstream games so maybe not something I can grab at Target.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Guilty daughter https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3207993 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 11:06:53 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3207993 My entire immediate family in NJ (mom, dad, and brother) have all been diagnosed with COVID. My mother is already laying down the guilt for me to come for Christmas from CT, and I really, really don’t want to go.

What do I tell her?

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Comment on update: will it hurt my chances of getting hired if I can only do video interviews? by Randomity https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/update-will-it-hurt-my-chances-of-getting-hired-if-i-can-only-do-video-interviews-2.html#comment-3207992 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 10:58:07 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20533#comment-3207992 In reply to Aly.

UK coronavirus advice allows for some foreign travel. I wouldn’t do it in OP’s shoes, but I’m not gonna tell her not to.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Semi-Anon for Identifying Details https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3207991 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 10:58:02 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3207991 In reply to Sparkly Librarian.

I don’t have central heat….

In the summer, we run the A/C as lightly as possible to keep the edge off – I need it to sleep, but during the day we often get by with fans and minimal clothing. Summer temperatures are 36 C and very humid (97 F). When we do set the A/C it’s at 26 or 27 (~80 F). In the winter it rarely goes below 12 C (54 F), but indoor heating is unusual and it’s very damp. Usually, we wear fluffy clothing, and break out a space heater in the bedroom when needed.

When I lived in colder climates, I usually set things to be comfortable wearing a sweater while stationary, and cooler at night, with lots of fluffy blankets.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Not An Expert https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3207990 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 10:53:37 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3207990 The Green Lantern (movie)
I know it’s old and wasn’t well received, but I’m hoping someone can explain a detail Google could not. Also, I have not read the comics and know nothing about it past the first hour of the movie.

I have not finished it because I went searching the interwebs, so if it’s answered in the movie, let me know.

If Abin Sur imprisoned the Parallax why don’t any of the other Lanterns remember? Was that guy thousands of years old and the others just… forgot?

It’s really bugging me, like such a huge plot hole I can’t get past. Tangentially, what movie plot holes bother you?

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Comment on update: my emotionally fragile employee is sobbing at work multiple times a week by BonnieVoyage https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/update-my-emotionally-fragile-employee-is-sobbing-at-work-multiple-times-a-week.html#comment-3207989 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 10:52:46 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20530#comment-3207989 In reply to BonnieVoyage.

Ugh, this was supposed to be a reply to Perpetual Lurker. I’m going for coffee.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Amy https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3207988 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 10:52:19 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3207988 In reply to Detective Rosa Diaz.

So exciting! :)

I really enjoyed Music Together with my baby at that age. They have franchises all over the country – in the USA, at least. I think most have moved their classes to Zoom due to the pandemic but especially at that age it’s really more about you singing and interacting with your baby as opposed to them being around the other kids, so I think it could still work.

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Comment on update: my emotionally fragile employee is sobbing at work multiple times a week by BonnieVoyage https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/update-my-emotionally-fragile-employee-is-sobbing-at-work-multiple-times-a-week.html#comment-3207987 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 10:52:01 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20530#comment-3207987 Of course I don’t think Brenda should have been “fired for crying”. I don’t think there’s a single comment here that suggests such a thing so that’s really quite a disingenuous question.

The part that concerns me and I think most other people posting about this is the OP’s attitude towards Brenda. The defensiveness (and the admission that hearing criticism made her double down on that defensiveness), the way that she is only engaging to praise Brenda, the highly emotional language about Brenda, the fact that the situation was allowed to continue for months (I agree that this would be hard to deal with in the moment but months? Really?) – it’s off, to me. The OP comes across as so deeply emotionally invested in this person that it’s very very difficult to take what they’re saying at face value, and that’s why I suggested above that she take some time to think about why she feels like this about her employee and whether that’s appropriate.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by RowanUK https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3207986 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 10:47:23 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3207986 In reply to Sparkly Librarian.

This is a really useful thread for me right now.

I moved into my first place in January and a combination of me not understanding the heating system and worrying about how much heating will cost, has meant that I’ve kept the heat off.

I’ve noticed that I actually get really cold at around 15c / 59f so – when I figure out how to work the thing, I think that will be my cue to turn the heat on. My sister says 20c/68f is a good place to start for keeping the place warm.

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Bobina https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3207985 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 10:35:07 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3207985 In reply to Chocolate Teapot.

I feel like smoking things is a bit beyond me to be honest! But maybe I should investigate it a little bit more :)

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Bobina https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3207984 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 10:33:13 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3207984 In reply to Jane Smith.

Ooh cake. Yes. This sounds like an avenue I want to pursue :)

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Comment on weekend open thread – December 5-6, 2020 by Amy https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/weekend-open-thread-december-5-6-2020.html#comment-3207983 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 10:29:22 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20510#comment-3207983 In reply to Val.

Congratulations on your new baby! I’m due any day now with my second, but here’s what I remember from my first (pre-COVID, obviously).

Even though young babies are a lot of work, they’re pretty easy in some ways. There’s a limited repertoire of things they need (eat, nap, diaper change) and they will sleep pretty much anywhere. I remember feeling like I needed to be doing something enriching with my baby all the time, but newborns honestly don’t care much about “activities.” All that to say, once baby’s basic needs are met, focus on what you and your husband need to stay sane and connected as caregivers! It’s a marathon!

One of the absolute best things I did as a new mom was joining a local support group for parents of newborns. Obviously in COVID times it won’t be quite the same, but even via Zoom it’s so helpful to have a space to chat with other moms dealing with the same stuff. I’m still in touch with some of them years later.

Getting out of the house for a walk every day is huge. Try to make it a goal, even when it feels like a PITA. Weeks on end of being stuck indoors with a newborn is crazy-making, COVID or no.

If it’s safe to do so in your area, take advantage of the newborn period to do some road trips (maybe just for the day). Once your baby hits the ~4 month mark you will be more homebound since the baby will not take naps “on the go” as easily, whereas newborns are generally just as happy to sleep in a carrier or car seat as in their cribs. Honestly, perhaps more so.

Take lots of pictures and videos! You might consider signing up for a service to store and share memories with relatives and friends, especially since COVID may have taken visits off the table. We really like TinyBeans, which sends a daily digest of photos and videos to people you designate. We’ve kept up with it for years and it’s a lot of fun to look back on since everything is organized stored in the cloud.

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Comment on share your funniest office holiday stories by Arts Akimbo https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/share-your-funniest-office-holiday-stories-2.html#comment-3207982 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 10:25:08 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20484#comment-3207982 In reply to Karaoke anyone?.

Breakfast casserole is one of my favorite dishes ever to exist! I like mine with layers of egg, sausage, and hashbrown-cut potatoes with cheese. But just egg, onion, and sausage will do me fine! :)

Some people put pancakes or french toast with syrup as the top layer, if sweet + savory floats your boat.

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Comment on open thread – December 4-5, 2020 by ShinyPenny https://www.askamanager.org/2020/12/open-thread-december-4-5-2020.html#comment-3207981 Sat, 05 Dec 2020 10:18:46 +0000 https://www.askamanager.org/?p=20505#comment-3207981 In reply to WellRed.

+1
“Sorry. Reading now. Gotta finish this.”
“Not now. Too busy.”
“Nope. Gotta go.”
Are the two of you the only ones in the building at times? If not, it would likely be helpful to say something like the above comments, then get up and walk away to where the other people are, even if it interrupts your meal.
This makes you less of a rewarding target because odds are good he wants to keep you isolated and enjoys that more. Also, you demonstrate your own power and autonomy.
Don’t do ANY “friendly co-worker chat”– he lost that privilege by being creepy.
Instead, try to only say super short negative statements of rejection. Ie, say “no” in every variation. You want him to RECATEGORIZE YOU, from “Promisingly Agreeable Victim” to “Bad Prospect- Always Says No.”
He’s trying to train you to accept escalating weirdness, but you can train him to put you in the Bad Prospect category. Like dog training, people training takes time and effort, but consistency pays off. He’s not the only one who can train humans.

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