Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Getting sick your first week at a new job

I got sick during my first week of work. I was dragging on Friday, but attributed it to a long week of meeting new people and getting used to my routine. By Friday evening, I felt worse, and a trip to urgent care confirmed… I have strep throat.

Luckily for me, my doctor prescribed some great meds and I was able to rest up over the weekend. I was no longer contagious and was already feeling better by the end of the weekend.

But here’s my question — what the heck would I have done if this had not conveniently happened over the weekend? With strep, I know I’d have to call out sick, but what about something less contagious? And — either way — how do you go about taking a sick day (a day without pay, I’m assuming, since sick time hasn’t accrued) without it reflecting poorly on you as a new employee?

It’s certainly not ideal to be out sick your first week on the job, but sometimes this stuff happens — people get strep or break a leg or have horrible food poisoning. Even only halfway decent managers understand that this can happen, and that you can’t control the timing. The keys are to say that you’re mortified that it’s happening during your first week so that they know you’re not being cavalier about it, to make it clear it’s something like strep and not just the sniffles, and to make a real point of demonstrating your work ethic once you’re back. That last part is because the worry isn’t “how outrageous, she had strep her first week” but rather “is she someone who’s going to call out all the time?” since they don’t know you yet. You just need to counteract those worries once you’re back.

But really, you are human and you can’t schedule illness.

2. I turned down a job offer because I didn’t want to be in an open office

Late last year, I turned down a job for which I was well suited and which offered pay and benefits that were satisfactory, and I wonder if I made a mistake. There were a few reasons I declined, but the one that accounted for about 85% of my response was that the company has an open office floor plan. I *loathe* those, and I really felt I could not do my best work in such an environment. That sounds so petty, I know, but it really mattered to me, and still does.

My refusal was prompt, polite, and non-specific, so no worries on that score. However, I always hear that everything is negotiable, so I often wonder if I should have tried to negotiate that as well. At the time I turned down the job, I told myself the employer would never entertain such a request, but I can’t help but wonder if I miscalculated. So was I wrong then, or am I wrong now?

Ugh, I wouldn’t work in an open office plan either, so I’m right there with you in turning it down.

Whether you could have negotiated for your own office depends on how senior you are. If you aren’t especially senior, it’s unlikely, unless they really, really wanted to hire you (and were willing to probably cause unrest among others at your level). It’s also the kind of thing that you might negotiate but could end up changing after the fact anyway (“a new VP is starting and we can’t justify you having a private office when she doesn’t,” etc.).

I actually wish you had told them why you were turning down the offer though. It’s good for employers to hear that they’re losing candidates over this.

3. I’m painfully bored at work

I started at a new job a few months ago and was told that when I finish work, I should ask my supervisor for more work. When I message them about needing work, the response is, “I’ll come to your desk to give you something in a minute.” The problem is that “a minute” has ranged from 15 minutes to three hours. When it’s longer periods, I’ve sent reminders, but get more of the “in a minute” response.

I’ve run out of semi-productive things to do (reading training materials, cleaning out my inbox, etc.) so the waits are becoming painfully boring, and being in limbo is miserable itself. I dread finishing work now. Is there a way to approach my supervisor about this without seeming insubordinate or insulting? (I can’t imagine anyone wanting to be told that they keep people waiting for too long when they’re busy with supervisor duties.)

I’d ask if there are bigger or longer-term projects that you can work on during your downtime in order to keep busy. If that doesn’t work, then you might need to have a conversation with your manager at some point about what’s going on — is this is a temporary situation until she’s through a busy period and then can give you bigger chunks of work that don’t require you checking in with her constantly? It’s not unreasonable to say that you’re finding yourself spending hours with nothing to do and that you’d like to find ways to stay busier. (Also, read my advice in the second letter here to the intern with nothing to do, about proposing your own projects — that’s something you should try too.)

4. How much responsibility do I have for helping to hire my replacement?

My partner and I decided that we wanted to move cities, and my manager and HR said they would keep me on in a transitional period and I could work remotely while I looked for something new and they looked for my replacement. We set an end date to full-time employment three months in the future. Great! I’m leaving (it was time), but still have a paycheck and am also able to look for a new job without fear it will get back to them. Plus I can use them for references.

Fast-forward to today: I’ve been working remotely (going up to the office once a week) for six weeks now and the first round of interviews for my position are beginning to be planned. First I was asked to look through the resumes, which ended up taking hours (there were hundreds). Now I’m being asked to spend 30 minutes on phone interviews with each person who is even a potential possibility (maybe 10–12). Now I expect they’d want me to be there in-person for final round interviews.

Originally I thought it would be beneficial to me to help with the process to get an inside view of hiring — I got this job after being an intern for the company right out of school and never went through the traditional hiring process. But I’m trying to keep everyone happy by doing my regular work (I already have too much) along with writing documentation about processes and also wrap-up projects. I need to be looking for my new job and don’t have time to work more than 40 hours like I did in the past.

If this is determined to be a priority for my limited remaining time, of course I’ll help, but I wonder if this is normal. How much should an employee reasonably be expected to help with the hiring of a replacement? I don’t want to put my foot down only for my manager/HR to be disappointed in my when I was counting on their good recommendations.

It’s perfectly reasonable for them to ask for this kind of help in hiring your replacement, but it’s not reasonable for them to expect you to do it on top of an already full workload. I’m not even sure they do expect that though — they’re probably assuming that you’ll let them know what you need to back-burner in order to make room for this. And since you haven’t spoken up about that, they’re probably assuming you’re able to fit it all in reasonably comfortably.

So speak up! Say this: “To do phone interviews with 10-12 candidates will take X amount of time, which means I won’t be able to do Y and Z. Knowing that, do you still want me involved to this extent, or would it be better for me to keep focusing on Y and Z and have someone else do the phone interviews?” In other words, just tell them what the trade-offs are and let them decide how they want you to spend your remaining time — but you should not be assuming that you just need to work tons of hours to get everything done. (If it does turn out that they expect that, that would be unreasonable and you could explain you don’t have the time remaining — but I’d start from the assumption that you just need to speak up.)

5. Is there any room for negotiating a raise here?

For most of my career, I’ve worked at large professional services firms that have a system in place for annual reviews, raises, and bonuses. At my current company, around May/June, all the reviews from your various supervisors are gathered and your counselor presents your file to a review board. In June/July, you find out your rating, and in August one of the partners tells you your raise and bonus.

Is there any room for negotiation in this process? It seems that by the time my partner gives me my raise, everything has been calculated and calibrated. I know they use some formulas based on how the business unit did and my individual rating, but the formulas are not transparent. If there is room to negotiate, when would that be? For my part, I do my best to summarize my ratings and discuss my strengths and goals with my counselor before he submits it to the review board. But that focuses on my rating and not my actual raise and bonus.

You can certainly try it, and people probably do. In June — after the reviews are gathered but probably before any money decisions are made — I’d make a case to your manager for a raise, in the same way you would at any other company. Ask for a meeting and say, “I know raises and bonuses will be announced in August. Before decisions about those are made, I’d like to make a case for a raise of $X” — and then make your case. (It sounds like you have multiple managers, but assuming there’s one person who’s in charge of stuff like your professional development, that’s who I’d talk to.)

People often end up not negotiating because they don’t feel there’s ever a natural opening for it (both with job offers and with raises). You don’t need to wait for your employer to give you an opening — you can bring up the subject yourself, and you should here.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My coworker complained about my burping and farting

I have a work situation I have no idea how to deal with. I found out yesterday that my coworker who works in the cubicle next to mine is incredibly offended by the fact that my body makes sounds a lot. I belch pretty constantly throughout the day, with some farts as well. I say “excuse me” frequently, and I’ve been to the doctor and it just happens. My brother and father are the same way. I told her this, and she told me to go to the bathroom. I was literally speechless.

I’m attempting to comply with her demand, but it’s making me less productive, is super anxiety inducing, and a little bit painful. Our boss is really hands-off and I don’t know what he would think if I brought it up, and I don’t think I’m capable of speaking to my coworker about it. I’m pretty sure this mostly doesn’t smell, and scented products make me completely unable to work, so even if there is there’s not a lot to be done. I feel awful and I’m afraid I’m going to lose my job because of this nonsense. What do I do?

If this is the result of a medical condition, it’s reasonable to explain that. If you truly can’t control it, you can’t control it. (I’m assuming you’ve tried over-the-counter treatments like Gas-X and so forth, and that you’ve inquired about treatment with your doctor.)

But it’s also reasonable for your coworker to be pretty miserable if she’s subjected to farting and burping all day. I don’t think you should be shocked by that — it’s understandable that it’s creating a pretty unpleasant environment for her.

If it’s a medical condition, you might be able to talk to your boss about the possibility of moving to a more secluded workspace. But if that’s not possible, I think you probably need to be understanding about the impact it’s having on your cubicle neighbor and not be shocked that it bothers her. It’s similar to if you had a constant cough or nose-sniffling problem; it’s out of your control, but you’d probably still try to be thoughtful about how it impacted others, to the extent that you could.

2. My manager gave a project I’d been promised to a more senior coworker

My manager was going to have me work on a project that would allow me to grow my skills and prove that I’m capable of more advanced work (I’m angling for a promotion in the coming months). Instead, she told me that she gave the project to a (more senior) colleague because she felt that I “have a lot on [my] plate right now and we need to get this done quickly.” Yes, I have a few other ongoing projects I’m working on currently, but I don’t at all feel overwhelmed by the workload.

I’m bummed to miss this opportunity to prove myself. Am I misjudging my workload? Am I working at a jog when I should be working at a sprint? Is this an indication that my turnaround time on projects is too long?

Any of those things could be true, but it’s also possible that it’s just about the reality that someone experienced is going to get it done faster than someone who’s new to the work. She may have genuinely wanted to assign it to you as a growth opportunity and then realized that she just needs it faster than that would allow (stretch projects usually require more feedback, more revision, and more guidance, and generally just take longer to get done).

But you can talk to her and tell her that you were really looking forward to taking that on, that you understand why it didn’t work out this time, and that you’re really interested in similar opportunities in the future.

3. I’m breastfeeding and was told to pump in the bathroom

I’m still nursing my five-month-old and work full-time, which means I breast pump three times a day. Two months ago, it was announced that our office was moving down the road. I followed up with our office manager as well as the assistant, as a detail like needing a private room with a door that locks — just for me — was probably not on the top of their minds. Each time an email was sent about the move, I followed up, and got a “oh yeah…we’re working on it” response.

In hindsight, I should have shared what the expectations — and laws — were. I don’t think the office manager or assistant have HR backgrounds nor have set up breast-pumping stations before, so I have to assume what happened next was an honest mistake.

Fast forward to yesterday, the first day in the office. On the tour in the morning, I was shown a bathroom on the other side of the campus, with the promise of a half fridge to store the expressed milk. I’d be sitting on a toilet (without a lid that seals off the toilet bowl) to pump, holding the pump in my hands, since there is no place to set it down. (I could share more details, but the more I write, the more angry I get. I mean, my kid will eat this – and I’m pumping it where people poop? C’mon!) Since this “room” was not set up yesterday, I pumped once in a bathroom close to me and nearly cried the entire time. I was pretty humiliated.

My boss is out until next week, and I’d like to work with our office manager to find a more suitable solution before sending it up to HR. Office space is tight; there are conference rooms available, but they don’t have the ability to lock.

I’m frustrated at how this has been handled, so fear that I’m going to come from a place of anger OR not stand up for myself. (See previous feelings of humiliation.) It’s now much into the workday of the second day at the new place, and no news.

Speak up and let them know, right away! I’d say it this way: “Legally, we’re actually required to provide a private location for pumping that isn’t a bathroom, and which has a door that locks. Is there an interim location that I should use while this is getting worked out? The bathroom really isn’t an option, legally or practically.”

If you get any push-back or suggestions that you continue using the bathroom just for a few more days, say this: “The bathroom is not an option for this, and the law is explicit that that can’t be our solution.” And I’d consider looping HR in immediately rather than waiting, since they’re likely to be more familiar with the law than your office manager is.

It’s not your problem that office space is at a premium; this is their responsibility to solve, and you reminded them multiple times that they’d need to.

Read an update to this letter here.

4. I was told I’d get a promotion but nothing’s happening

I have been working for a small company for two and a half years as an admin assistant. They’ve paid for two licencing courses to qualify me to be an account manager in two different departments, but I’ve retained all my admin duties and taken up a small portfolio of accounts of my own.

In November, I sat down with the company CEO and he said it was their plan within 4-6 months to hire someone to take over the front desk so I could become a full-time account manager. However, whenever it is brought up again, it’s always in a vague statement like, “Oh, down the road that’s our plan.” I got a small raise in January but I still feel like I’m being underpaid (I took a pay cut to move to this company and have just gotten back to my former rate.) I don’t know how to go about asking them to follow through with their promises. It’s a great company otherwise but I’m getting burned out from being a receptionist and I am starting to feel so unhappy. The job market here is awful so it would not be easy to find a comparable job and I don’t want to waste my training so far.

Ask for a more concrete timeline. Say this: “I’m very eager to work in accounts full-time as we’ve talked about, and I’m hoping that I can do that here since I love the company. Can we talk more concretely about what the timeline for that will look like?”

If you ask this directly and you still get a vague answer, I would assume that it may never happen, or at least doesn’t have enough certainty that it’s something you should plan around. In that case, you’re better off assuming it’s not happening there and deciding what you’d want to do if you knew that for sure. That probably means that you should be job searching. You note the awful job market, but that doesn’t mean that finding another job would be impossible, and you have nothing to lose by trying. If the job market is indeed so bad that nothing pans out, then you’ll know that and won’t be any worse off than you are (in fact, you’ll be better off, because you’ll have more data about the situation).

5. Resigning when my employer has bid out some work based on me

So I have the lucky problem of likely having two job offers. I’ve been contracting for a company part-time for two months with the possibility of getting a full-time job. In the meantime, I’ve been job hunting and have just been offered/accepted something else. I feel bad because I know that the company has bid out some work based on me, and the last I heard it was in legal review — but they were will still unwilling to make me an offer.

I’m waiting for the background check to come through (not really worried) but then I have to tell them. What’s the best way to handle this? The side of me that wants to avoid confrontation wants to do this via email, but I know that’s not the right way to handle this. (unless you tell me it is? :) ) Do you have any suggestions on what to say as to not burn the bridge? They did know I was job hunting. At this point, I don’t think there’s anything that they can say to change my mind. (It’s not just about salary, it’s about commute, stability, type of work, etc.)

It’s good to finally have this type of problem!

Just be direct, and don’t feel guilty. If they wanted to lock you down, they would have made you a job offer — and they know that. They knew you were job hunting, they knew they hadn’t offered you full-time work, and no reasonable person would expect you to turn down full-time work for a job offer that doesn’t actually exist yet.

And yes, talk to your manager in person (assuming you work in the same location; otherwise, phone is fine). Say this: “I’ve really enjoyed working here, and in particular really appreciate how great you’ve been to work with. However, I’ve been offered a full-time job that I’ve decided to accept.”

That’s it — really! If your manager alludes to the bid they have out that’s based on work you’d do, you can say, “Without the certainty of a full-time job here, this wasn’t something I could pass up.” (That does set you up for her possibly saying she could try to expedite an offer for you there, but if that happens, just say, “I really appreciate that, but I’m excited about the offer I’ve accepted. Thank you though.”)

And congratulations!

Read an update to this letter here.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss retired but still won’t leave us alone

What do you do when your old boss finally retires and then still won’t leave you alone?! My old boss loved his agency and line of work so much that he worked beyond 40-hour weeks and was reluctant to retire in the first place. Then the arthritis in his hand got the best of him and he retired. We rejoiced. Now he won’t stop sending personal emails loaded with his opinions on how we should handle various situations that he intentionally sought to find out about through various social back-channels. Is there a polite way to say please just butt out already!?

Absolutely. Someone with authority could say to him, “Fergus, I’ve got to ask you to stop emailing the team about work matters because it’s confusing the message over here.” Or, if you don’t feel like you have the authority to say that, you could try, “Hey, Fergus, we’ve got this covered. Enjoy your retirement, and don’t worry about stuff here.”

And if that doesn’t work, you really could just ignore his messages. If that feels too rude, try verrrrrrry long waits before you respond, and then when you do respond, make it unsatisfying — just a quick “noted!” or something like that. It might wean him off the satisfaction he’s getting by still feeling involved. But really, ignoring is okay too, once you’ve done that initial “we’ve got it covered” message.

2. I’m terrified by the intensive business course I’m about to take

I managed to get a last-minute place in a course that runs for a few days, but I am terrified. The course is an intensive business/finance sort of thing, with speakers and lots of team work on the four days with a final presentation at the end. I decided to give it a go to challenge myself, maybe network a bit, and see if finance/business would be a career for me. I’m currently at university studying humanities.

Words cannot even begin to express how nervous I am about this and I need help in beating these nerves. I think it’s a combination of:
– having little to no business/finance knowledge so feeling out of place/inferior
– because my friend recommended me, I am an extension of their professional reputation and now feel like I have to do well (in fact they have reminded me of this, which is fine but it’s extra pressure and I’m very conscious of this)
– I’ve never networked before and worry just saying “I’m here to see what I’m interested in” is too vague or unambitious – it is designed for ambitious people and though I am ambitious I don’t know what I want to do
– no office/professional experience – the most I’ve done is part-time retail gigs

I suppose what I’m asking is, how on earth can I a) calm down about this and b) network effectively with little experience? I want to make a good impression on the other course mates who I’ll have to work with and the business people who will be there, and I know I can be collected and confident but I’m still panicking. Please help!

It’s is very, very likely that there will be lots of other people there who are similar to you. You definitely won’t be the only person who’s new to networking (and really, people with decades of work experience still feel awkward about networking — possibly most of us), and if the course is targeting university students, lots of them won’t have professional experience (or what they do have will be very minor). And “I’m here to see what I’m interested in” is totally reasonable; anyone who judges you for not being sure what you want to do professionally while you’re still in school must live in a bubble, since that’s a very normal way to feel.

And really, 99% of the time when you’re dreading something like this, it ends up being much, much better than you fear it will be. Will it help to realize that the level of anxiety you describe is out of sync with the reasons for it — that you’re stressing yourself out far more is warranted? I will send you a cupcake if I turn out to be wrong about this. (You just need to report back and send me your address if I’m wrong.)

Read an update to this letter here.

3. Do people still put phone numbers on resumes?

I am job hunting in New York City for a luxury retail sales jobs. I got an interesting question yesterday. Although the interviewer had my resume with my phone number in front of her, she asked for my number. When I asked her why, she said, “Now no one puts their phone number, just email.” So, is this a new thing? And would you recommend I keep or lose my phone number?

It’s not a thing. I suppose maybe it’s a thing in luxury retail sales in NYC (I’d have no idea), but it’s not a thing in general. I can’t think of the last time I got a resume without a phone number.

Loads of employers still contact candidates by phone rather than email, and most of them are not going to be pleased to discover that they can’t do that. Keep the phone number on there. (And really, if for some reason it is a thing in your field and region, you’re not going to be judged for having a phone number on there, since it’s a totally normal thing to provide.)

4. Should I push back on this change to one of my job duties?

I work for a school district, for our child care program. Throughout the school year, we have a dozen schools with about 600 children enrolled. I handle the deposits of fees for our program, and all parents are required to pay online with credit or debit card; I reconcile a monthly report of fees collected and hand it in to our accounting department. We also have a preschool, which is part of our department, that has about a fifth of our enrollment. Soon, all of the parents at the preschool will also be required to pay online, which will increase their volume. Since I am the only one in our department who does our card deposits, the office manager will not need to process deposits anymore.

I don’t mind taking over the deposits, since I think it will streamline things and it only accounts for a single line on the spreadsheet. However, I am wary of taking on a function of her job, considering she already make more than me because of her particular title. I’ve brought it up to our program coordinator, who is actually retiring this week, and she agrees with my point, and thinks I ought to have the office manager reconcile her own account. It may not work in practice, though, and the director of accounting might not go for it. Should I just suck it up and accept it?

Yes. Job duties switch around all the time. This isn’t like being asked to take on a whole new area of responsibility; it’s just a change to an area you’re already involved with.

If there’s some reason why it would make more business sense for the office manager to reconcile her own accounts, that would be different. But it sounds like you agree that the change makes sense.

5. Do I have to paid for a full week when my last day is mid-week?

I am an exempt employee. I have given my two weeks notice and will be ending mid-week. Does my employer still need to pay me for the full week or does this change because I’ve given my resignation?

Nope, this is one of the few exceptions where the law doesn’t require exempt employees to receive their full salary for the week. They can pay you for a partial week if it’s your first week or your last week. (If anyone is baffled by what the hell “exempt” means, here’s an explanation.)