May 2011

my coworker coughs all day long – can I do anything about it?

May 25, 2011

A reader writes:

I’ve been looking for advice for handling (or even WHETHER to handle) the issue of a co-worker with a chronic cough. Over the years I’ve worked with several people with bad coughs. I’ve always accepted it as just part of the working world. I’ve never spoken to HR about it because I don’t know if that would make any sense and/or would backfire in some way. Anyway, I now sit near a lady who coughs constantly. The cough is a deep, loud bark and it never stops. She only pauses for a minute or so before resuming. Changes in weather or season only means it goes from bad to worse and then back to bad. I have never spoken to her about it. I can’t speculate as to why she is coughing or whether she is doing whatever she can to control it.

The problem is obvious. To complain about a cough, whether to the cougher or to HR, seems cruel and unfair. On the other hand, the noise is affecting me and the other people who sit in my area, which is to say: it’s driving us nuts. I wear headphones and listen to white noise as loud as possible but that does not block out the cough. I can’t wear the headphones all the time anyway. I should also mention that we cannot move our desks for various technical reasons.

I tried searching the web for advice on this particular issue and came up with very little. It may be one of those untouchable issues. Can I get your take on it?

Ooooh, yes, tricky.

As you already concluded, speaking to her or HR about it probably isn’t the way to go … not only because it could come across as unkind, but also because she presumably can’t control it, it’s a medical issue, etc. HR can’t order her to stop coughing, and if she could order herself to stop coughing, she probably already would have!

However, depending on what your boss is like, one possibility would be to ask her whether might actually be options you haven’t thought of for moving your desk somewhere else. Even though you’re pretty sure there aren’t, sometimes a manager will see a way around something that you didn’t realize would be a possibility. Explain that you’re sympathetic to the coworker, of course, but that the cough is relatively constant and seems to be chronic rather than something short-term, and that you’ve tried headphones and white noise but find it’s still disruptive.

However, if moving you (or her) truly isn’t option, I don’t really see that there are other avenues, unfortunately, since she presumably can’t just stop coughing. If that’s the case, I think you’re just stuck with this less-than-ideal situation.

One thing that might help, though, is to try to focus on feeling appreciative that you’re not the one with the cough! And I don’t mean that in a snarky, holier-than-thou way; I totally agree that this would be annoying to listen to all day. But sometimes changing your mindset can be fairly powerful.

What do others think?

Want to read an update to this post? The reader’s update several months later is here.

{ 127 comments }

Posted in advice about your coworkers

declining boss’s invitation to dinner on a Saturday

May 24, 2011

A reader writes:

What is your take on a manager who schedules a get-together at her place on a Saturday?

My husband’s boss scheduled a dinner over at her place, and we hesitantly said yes for not wanting to give a bad impression. She only invited a few people (her direct reports). Well, that event was canceled by the manager due to bad weather, and now she has rescheduled it to a different weekend.

How do you suggest we handle this if we do not want to go — we get really busy during weekends with lots of personal commitments — without sending an obvious message that we don’t desire to be there?

In general, I’m a big fan of scheduling work-related social events during work hours if there’s an expectation that people should attend … because people have other commitments (including a need to just sit on their couch doing nothing, which I count as a commitment), or are introverts and don’t necessarily derive pleasure from events that more extroverted people might enjoy. So I’d rather see your husband’s boss take everyone out to lunch instead.

That said, it’s a really nice gesture for her to make … although that doesn’t change the fact that in any group there will be at least one person (often more) who will be seized with dread at the thought of having to go.

As for how to handle it: It’s entirely reasonable for your husband to thank his boss for the invitation but explain that he has a conflicting commitment that night. It’s the weekend; of course you might have other plans. And in this case, you guys even accepted the first invitation, which will help counter any impression that you’re just unenthused about dining with her.

However, be aware that in some workplaces, you’re really expected to attend things like this. Your husband hopefully has a sense of whether that’s the case here or not, based on how his boss operates in general and how she’s talked about this dinner specifically.

Moreover, there can be real benefit to going to things like this, even if you don’t particularly want to. It might be worth looking at it like any other work obligation. If everyone else in his group is going, your husband might not want to be the only one not there, because it’s likely that work will be discussed, bonds will be formed, etc. Being there for that can be valuable, so your husband should at least factor that into whatever decision he makes.

And last, as a side note for managers: Be aware that not everyone on staff enjoys work social functions, and it’s not because they have bad attitudes or don’t like their job or whatever; some people just don’t derive pleasure from that kind of thing, and there’s nothing to read into it past that. If you make these people feel obligated to attend events that you hope will build their morale, you may actually be having the opposite effect of what you intend, so proceed with care…

{ 130 comments }

Posted in advice about your boss

job-searching in the wake of a natural disaster

May 24, 2011

A reader writes:

What if you’re looking for a job in another city and what if, in the meantime, your home and the city that you are currently living in is obliterated by a natural disaster?

For a normal relocation, I’d just say “relocating to [name of city]; current address:” at the top of the resume and add a brief mention of this in the cover letter, too.  But right now, a friend that I’m helping no longer has a mailing address, so I’m just going to suggest putting the email and cell at the top of the resume along with the mention of relocation, something like “Relocating from [city] to [city].”  What about the cover letter?  Should the natural disaster be mentioned at all?  It wasn’t the original reason for relocation, but it does add some urgency.  Would it be considered unprofessional or inappropriate to mention it?  (My feeling is that most people are going to see the location of the previous jobs and ask, anyway.)  Is the lack of an official mailing address concerning to potential employers?

Ugh, I’m so sorry.

I think it’s fine to put the email and cell phone with the “relocating from (city) to (city)” note, and skip the mailing address. And if your friend is filling out online applications that require a mailing address, can she borrow a friend’s, given the circumstances?

Regarding whether or not to mention the disaster in the cover letter, I think she could go either way on this, as long as she doesn’t focus on it too much since it’s not really relevant to her candidacy (although highly relevant to her life). Personally, I’d learn toward not mentioning it for that reason … but I could also see a brief mention, like “I’m in the process of relocating to New York (a process that was already in the works but has now been made more pressing by the recent disaster here).”

I don’t think there’s anything inappropriate about mentioning it as long as it’s kept brief and doesn’t become a focus of the letter. And some people will respond compassionately and might be more likely to give the application another look, because lots of people look for ways to help others in these situations. (Of course, there are also probably a couple of recipients who will resent the mention, because they’ll misinterpret it as soliciting pity or special treatment, but there’s nothing you can do about those people.)

What other thoughts do people have?

{ 9 comments }

Posted in job searching

happy endings

May 24, 2011

In response to a dejected commenter last night, I’ve created a new category: happy endings. There are 20 or so posts in there with happy endings — stories that ended well, with jobs landed, jerks receiving their comeuppance, and much more.

Cheer yourself up by reading them!

Other fun categories to read include jerks and bad interviewer behavior, although those perhaps aren’t quite as cheery. You can find the full category list to the right (middle sidebar, under the post index).

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Posted in happy endings

how to look for a job when you’re already employed

May 23, 2011

Job-searching is hard enough under any circumstances, but doing it when you already have a job presents special challenges: How do you schedule interviews during the work day? Can you do a phone interview from your office? What about getting a reference from your current boss?

Over at U.S. News & World Report today, I talk about how to look for a new job without jeopardizing your current one. You can check it out here.

{ 19 comments }

Posted in job searching

is it worth applying to a job that was posted a few weeks ago?

May 23, 2011

Sorry for not posting since Thursday; I’ve been flu-ish! In any case, a reader writes:

I am currently on the job hunt and I had a question about applying to jobs online. You know how most websites will tell you the job has been posted 1 day ago, 28 days ago, etc. For some reason, I have concluded that I need to apply to a job the first week they post the position to have the best chances of being hired. Although I heard that it can take up to a month for the company to hire anyone for the position, I feel that applying to a job that was posted 3 weeks ago isn’t that promising. What is your take on this situation?

There’s no universal rule here; different employers handle things differently. It also varies depending on the type of position; for instance, an entry-level, low-skill job might be filled very quickly from the first week’s worth of qualified applicants, while a more senior, higher-skill job can often take months.

But even there, it varies by employer — for instance, for me, three weeks after I post a job, I’m still excited to get a really high-quality applicant. Hell, I’m still excited to get a really high-quality applicant up until I’m about to make an offer, which is typically at least four weeks from the posting and usually closer to six or eight. And there have been plenty of times when I’ve been feeling unenthusiastic about my strongest candidates and am thrilled when someone great shows up a few weeks in to change the playing field. And lots of other good employers operate this same way.

On the other hand, there are people who look for the first five qualified applicants in their stack, interview those, and ignore everyone else. (These people aren’t great at hiring, because there are wildly varying degrees of “qualified,” and if you want to hire really well, you want to draw from the broadest pool possible. But they’re out there.)

However, it’s very difficult to know from the outside how a particular employer works … and there are enough employers on each side of this divide that you can’t even really make a good guess. So if you want the job, you should definitely apply. Does that mean you’ll risk spending time applying to a job that is already filled? Yep, it does. But it also means that you won’t pass over a job you’d really like because you’re mistakenly assuming it’s been filled, when it hasn’t been.

You should apply quickly though. Don’t think it over for days and days or procrastinate; that job could be getting filled while you’re waiting. If you want the job, apply now.

(As an interesting side note, I’ve often found that the strongest candidates’ applications often come in late in the process. I figure this is because they’re not applying to everything they see, or even job-searching on a regular basis; they’re being more selective and even leisurely in their job search. That’s not to say I haven’t had great candidates apply in the first few days, but it’s a definite pattern that shows up almost every time.)

{ 19 comments }

Posted in job searching

how to deal with a bad boss

May 19, 2011

I’m quoted in a few places in this MainStreet.com article on how to deal with a bad boss…

{ 10 comments }

Posted in advice about your boss

how to increase your pay when changing jobs (or how I doubled my salary in one career move)

May 19, 2011

A reader writes:

I’ve recently reached two significant milestones in my career, having finished my master’s degree program and reached 5 years of professional experience.  With these two achievements under my belt, I want to start looking around for a new position to move my career forward (as the general consensus in my current group is it’s near impossible to move forward without leaving).

I started doing some research on salary numbers and it looks like the median numbers for 5 years of experience and a master’s are hovering at about 50% above my current salary.  The median numbers for the positions that require 5 years and a BS are still about 35% above my current salary. I would like to try and bring my salary in line with my experience, but the staffing groups that I’ve talked with have so far suggested that companies would be unlikely to look at anything more than a 10% raise, despite the fact that my qualifications have changed without being recognized by my current company. How would you suggest that I go about trying to reach the salary that I feel matches my experience?

Well, first, keep in mind that the median numbers are medians; that means that there are an awful lot of people making well below that number. You need to find out what separates people making significantly less than the median from those making more. Is it geography? Differing scopes of responsibility? Some specific niche in your industry that they occupy? Large companies versus small? You shouldn’t just look at the median and think “that’s where I deserve to be”; you want to understand which workers in your field are falling where along the entire range and why. (Here are some ideas on how to figure that out.)

Now that that disclaimer is out of the way … it can indeed be hard to get a raise far above 10%, but it does happen — particularly if you’re dealing with a company that doesn’t insist on knowing what you’ve been making and instead just asks what salary you’re looking for. Those employers are out there (hell, I’m one of them, because I think your salary history is no one’s business but your own, and I think employers should determine a candidate’s value for themselves, not look to their competitors to tell them a candidate’s worth). But it’s also true that many, many employers play the salary history card.

So if you’re dealing with a company that demands to know what you’ve been making, and you don’t feel you can avoid the question, you’re going to need to make a compelling argument for the salary you’re seeking. Because the problem, of course, is that saying “I’ve been making $40,000 but I’m seeking $55,000″ tells them that you’re probably willing to take something closer to $40,000 — because, after all, you’re taking it right now. So you need to come up with something that convinces them to look beyond that.

It can be done, but you’ll have to figure out how to argue that it’s warranted. For instance, I once more than doubled my salary in a single career move: Early in my career, I worked for a nonprofit that paid very low salaries. I didn’t really care at the time — I loved the organization, I loved my work, and I was grateful that they let me have a desk there, let alone that they actually paid me.  But eventually I was ready to move on, and if I was going to go somewhere new, I figured it was time to start earning a normal salary.

At the interview for the job I was eventually hired for, when it came out that the salary I was asking for was more than double what I’d been making, the interviewer asked me why she should give me such a big increase. I said something like, “I’ve loved the work I’ve been doing, and I was willing to do it for well-below market rates because I was so personally invested in the organization and I was learning a huge amount that I wouldn’t have had the chance to learn somewhere else. But now I’m ready to move on from that stage, and part of the reason I’m leaving is because I want to be paid a normal market rate.”  (It worked. And let me tell you how thrilling that first new paycheck was.)

Something like that is better than, “Well, $__ is the market rate.” Because the employer’s response to that can easily be (in their head, if not out loud), “Well, if that’s what you think you’re worth, why doesn’t your current salary show that?”  So you need that stronger narrative.

So … first figure out if the median really applies to you or not. And then figure out what your compelling argument is going to be, because if you don’t know, the employer certainly isn’t going to take the time to come up with it themselves. Good luck!

{ 29 comments }

Posted in salary

entry-level out-of-town job seeker: a success story

May 18, 2011

It doesn’t get much more challenging than being an entry-level long-distance job-seeker applying for jobs in New York. Which is why you should listen to me when I preach and lecture and yell about cover letters.

A reader writes:

I wanted to thank you for all of the job-hunting advice on your blog, especially the parts about cover letters. After you posted the link to Kimberlee’s cover letter, I started sending out letters that sounded more like me (I had been writing letters specific to each job already, thanks to your advice). It felt like a pretty big gamble, but I wasn’t hearing anything back from my generic-y, extremely formal letters so I figured I had nothing to lose.

I’ve only had the chance to send out two, but both of those yielded interviews and then offers! I’m an entry-level out-of-towner applying for jobs in New York, so getting two offers in less than a week is extra-amazing. One hiring manager said she only ever interviewed New Yorkers for entry level positions, but my cover letter was so great that she had to meet me. I would have never thought to send that kind of letter without your advice and examples. And I used your e-book to prep the hell out my interviews. Feeling confident in my answers to the questions on your list helped me come up with good, solid answers to questions I never saw coming. So thank you, thank you, thank you!

It’s a temporary position (still better than what I had before) so I’ll have to keep job-hunting for the near future, but I feel a lot better about the process and my prospects thanks to you and your blog.

Congratulations!  And thanks for illustrating why a great cover letter that sounds like you and isn’t stiff and formal is worth putting in the time. (As is reading my e-book, obvs. If anyone’s inspired by this story and wants to read my How to Get a Job: Secrets of a Hiring Manager, you can get a 20% discount by using this code: spring2011 .)

{ 20 comments }

Posted in happy endings

company that fired me is still contacting me with questions … 5 months later

May 17, 2011

A reader writes:

In January, I was fired from my job.  I drove to work on a snow day when most of the office chose to stay home, and at 5:45 pm, the manager called me into his office and said that they were letting me go because I wasn’t a good fit.  I had 15 minutes to gather my stuff and leave.  I have since moved on and getting let go from that company is probably the best thing to happen to me.  It was a toxic work environment, and I was actively looking for other jobs before I was fired.

The problem is they keep contacting me. I was responsible for most of the company’s YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, and other open source contact, and thus I had the passwords to them. Since January, I have been getting one to two phone calls or emails a month from different company employees asking for the passwords. I have politely given them the most of that they’ve asked for, but frankly it’s been five months since I left and I don’t remember others. If they had asked for all the passwords during my termination, I would have turned them over without a hesitation.  I’ve moved on in my professional career, and with many of these sites, the company can go in and easily set up a new account and not contact me.

How do I handle this situation? Is it polite form for them to keep hounding me for information I’ve long forgotten? How do I get them to leave me alone?

If you’d left on good terms, it would be reasonable for them to expect you to answer a small number of questions that came up after you were gone. Of course, if you’d left on good terms, you also would have had time to create documentation to leave behind.

But when you’re fired, things are a little different — in terms of your obligations and what it’s reasonable for the employer to expect. Now, it’s important to note that some firings are conducted in a kind and compassionate way, and when that’s the case, a skilled manager can leave the former employee feeling good enough about the company that the employee is actually happy to answer a few questions after they’re gone. But it doesn’t sound like you felt that way about how they handled your firing.

A skilled manager also would have been more diligent about thinking through what information only you had access to and ensuring that info was secured before you left. Since you were apparently in charge of the company’s social media presence, they should have realized that they’d need to get passwords from you, and that’s something they could have easily done as part of processing your termination. But they mishandled this, and it’s not reasonable that five months after you were fired, their ineptness is still causing you to have to be mentally pulled back to that situation a couple of times a month.

So. You have a couple of choices:

1. You can simply stop helping. You can explain that it’s been too long for you to remember the answers they’re seeking, or you can say that you’ve provided all the help you can and now need to focus on your new job, or you can say nothing at all and simply stop responding. You’ve been quite kind in continuing to help for five months, but you don’t need to continue doing it forever.

2. You can spend a few minutes writing down all the login and password info that you recall and email it over to them, with a note that that’s everything you remember and the extent of the help you can provide, and then you can either refer all future contacts to that sheet or simply not respond at all because you’ve more than met your obligations.

Now, some people might ask why you should even consider taking the few minutes to do #2, since these people fired you, after all. And it’s certainly true that you’re under no obligation to do it — none, zero. However, there are potential benefits to it: Your former coworkers, the ones who didn’t fire you, will see how you’re handling this, and you’ll forever be marked in their heads as someone who handled a difficult situation with grace, class, and generosity. And you never know when one of those people might have a job lead for you or be able recommend you for a position, or even be hiring themselves someday.

But really, it’s been five months and you’re entitled to move on. You were entitled to move on five months ago, actually. So there aren’t really any wrong approaches here, as long as you’re not gratuitously rude to them.

Want to read an update to this post? The reader’s update several months later is here.

{ 51 comments }

Posted in firing

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