is it okay to burn this bridge?

by Alison Green on April 13, 2011

A reader writes:

I recently was offered a position in college admissions that I really wanted, and upon the initial offer I was given a start date 1.5 weeks away.  I had to make childcare arrangements for my two young daughters (I always worked 2nd shift as to avoid daycare) and the director even went as far as having the assistant director forward me childcare information for a nearby daycare.  I made all the arrangements, including: my mother and MIL changed around their work schedules to be able to keep the girls one day each, meaning they would only go to daycare 3 days a week since childcare costs an arm and a leg these days. I also paid a nonrefundable $100 application fee, in addition to the supplies needed, and also had to purchase new clothes for myself  (I wore scrubs to work in my previous position).

I didn’t hear anything back from them, so the Friday before the Monday I was supposed to start, I called and was told they did not have the approval from HR for me to start (the centralized HR is in a different city from where the technical college campus is located) and that the date was moved to Wednesday.  I spoke with them again on Tuesday about starting Wednesday, and was told that still there was no approval from HR, and at that point I had no start date at all.

By the end of that week, I was no longer getting emails or phone calls, but only text messages from the director.  I felt like it was the only way he would communicate with me because he was always “in a meeting” if I called and if I emailed him he would only text back.  So I fell into communicating with him via text.

Three weeks into the waiting game, he tells me that HR says my application is incomplete and they want more thorough answers as to why I was discharged from my last position. (I have to be creative in this situation because I was not terminated for anything performance-related or for breaking a rule. The truth of the matter is that they did not like me despite my positive, bubbly attitude. I got reprimanded for having too many pink accessories on my desk and putting a pink bow on my date stamper.)  Anyway, I elaborate for him and still wait and wait and wait.  I text and ask him flat out if the offer is off the table since I haven’t heard anything, and he says no.  He never actually retracted the job offer, he just never called me back again! He said he would get back to me by the end of business last Thursday (April 7) and it is now the 13th and I’m furious (he offered me the job Feb 23!), because of the financial loss I have taken investing in daycare and asking my mother and MIL to babysit once a week, but mostly I’m pissed because I passed on other positions that I would have loved to take had I known that this wasn’t going to work out.

Would it be totally out of line for me to contact the director and tell him off?  I am not typically one to burn bridges but he screwed me, and I cannot stand people who don’t follow through.  If he’s a leader, the director, he should be able to formally retract the offer instead of just ignoring me, or at least send HR to do his dirty work (I have called HR and left messages but no one will return my calls), or even send me a text telling me to screw off.  I think he is such a rude, cowardly man and I want to tell him so, and I hope he does not do this to anyone else in the future.  I think he should be ashamed of himself to do this to me or anyone in this kind of economy.  And obviously I would like to know what has changed that made him change his mind about hiring me. Just wondering if that would be totally inappropriate.  I honestly think he is too stupid to realize he totally screwed me over.

I can certainly understand wanting to tell him off. He should never have made you a job offer before everyone who needed to sign off had signed off. And once he realized that he’d made that mistake, he should have been really aggressive in taking responsibility for it and trying to get it fixed — pushing HR to approve the offer quickly (and it’s ridiculous that this HR department can overrule a manager’s hiring decision, by the way), staying in contact with you, and being extremely apologetic throughout the whole thing. And if the offer ultimately falls through (which it doesn’t necessarily sound like it has), he should try to find a way to make financial amends to you.

The fact that he’s done none of this makes it entirely understandable that you’d want to give him the verbal finger. However, whether that’s smart to do is a different question.

Here are some possible scenarios to consider before you unleash a verbal attack on him:

* The job offer still might get approved. I know you’re taking his silence as an indicator that the offer is gone, but there’s actually a pretty strong chance that he hasn’t been in touch because he doesn’t have any news yet but he expects to eventually get HR’s okay and will get in touch then.  I hate people who operate in this ridiculously uncommunicative way, but the reality is that there are plenty of people who do. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if that’s what’s happening here, and if you tell him off, you’ll torpedo a job you want that you still might have.

* Even if the offer falls through now, this employer might have a different job opportunity for you in the future … which they’re unlikely to contact you about if you let loose now.

* You might run into this guy somewhere else in the future — in five years, he could turn up as your coworker at a different job. Or your new boss. Or your interviewer. The world is small.

Additionally, be realistic about what you’d get from telling him off. It’ll feel good on principle, because it’s satisfying to call people out on really bad behavior, particularly when they’re being cowardly about owning up to it. But you won’t change the situation, and you might ultimately not be left feeling any better. (And think about how you’ll feel if he replies, “I was going to call you tomorrow with a final yes, but it sounds like we should part ways.”) Will the emotional pay-off be worth shutting that door forever?

So those are all the factors you need to consider in deciding whether telling him off is worth it. You may decide that it is worth it — there are some situations where it’s worth burning a bridge, despite the risks, and you can make that calculation however you want. Just make sure that you’re factoring in everything above before you make your decision — and realize you may be slamming the door shut on an offer that’s still yours.

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{ 49 comments }

{ 49 comments… read them below }

  1. Monica*

    Wow that whole thing just sucks.

    How about getting in touch with the HR department?

    How can he make an offer if HR didn’t vet the candiate? Sounds like he went through the steps the wrong way or found someone else better or was told to hire someone else (backdoor). Perhaps the best person to talk to would be the HR department head?

    Consider this a lesson learned and thank you for sharing.

    Good luck.

    1. Candidate*

      I’ve tried calling AND e-mailing the HR department. Nothing. I’ve applied with this college in the past, and it’s still the same HR person, located in another city. She seems to have a trend of being unresponsive, as she has ignored my friends inquiries in other positions as well.

      Just very confused by the non-communication, frustrated by the time that has passed with no updates (I ALWAYS have to initiate contact), upset about the jobs I have passed on in the meantime, and pissed about all the money I’ve lost. I’m barely paying my mortgage on unemployment right now.

  2. Charles*

    As one who has been unemployed a bit long, I can tell you it is VERY tempting to tell some of these jerks off – but, I refrain from doing so because I do NOT have all of the information as to why they are being jerks. I try to imagine that they are having a really bad day and I don’t want to add to their miserable life. In reality, they might still be plain ol’ jerks; but at least it helps me to think that I am being the better person.

    Also, AAM said: “And if the offer ultimately falls through . . . he should try to find a way to make financial amends to you.”

    AAM, what world do you live in? “make financial amends”? Never gonna happen! Especially coming from a non-profit or academia, sorry if this offends you; but those two groups of employers tend to have more than their fair share of jerks like this – and they would never “give out money” like that, never.

    Finally, to the OP; hopefully you feel much better seeing your letter in “print” (on the web, at least) so that you don’t actually have to go through with “telling him off.”

    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      In some cases, candidates whose offers were revoked have been successful in getting (small-ish) monetary pay-outs. In some states, the person can recover damages under “promissory estoppel” or “detrimental reliance,” particularly if they resigned another job to accept the offer, relocated, or otherwise suffered financial hardship as a result of relying on the company’s promise. These aren’t punitive damages; the idea is to make you whole by having the employer pay back whatever money you’re out as a result of their offer being pulled.

      That said, I wouldn’t recommend suing over something like this — but I would recommend explaining to the company the impact their reversal had on you and asking what they can do to help mitigate that impact. Smart companies — i.e., companies that don’t want to deal with the hassles of a lawsuit, even if they think they might win in the end — will sometimes pay a small amount, such as a month’s salary to make the (implied) threat go away. There’s certainly nothing to lose by asking.

      (To be clear, I’m not even convinced the offer has been revoked in the OP’s situation. I’m speaking more generally.)

    2. Shawn*

      my company did this once. we were going to rehire an employee for a position that required a state license (registered nurse). she was out of state at the time and needed to regain her license for our state. the hiring manager for the role, for some reason, told her the job was a go without consulting hr on the background check/licensing/etc things that need to be done before she could start working. he instructed her to fly to our center (on her dime) to attend a session of our orientation training, and said she could really move back out here later (after the training). we find out about this the day before orientation and have to break the news to her that she can’t start working yet (licensing issues, etc). we felt horrible (in hr). we reimbursed her for the cost of her flight, rental car, and hotel expenses. the hiring manager got reprimanded. we are a non-profit. she never did end up starting with us.

  3. Charles*

    Wow, this is perfect timing. After commenting above I went over to “Tales of a Front Desk Nothing” (http://frontdesknothing.blogspot.com/) and saw this a part of her recent posting:

    After getting off of the phone with Satan’s less-nice older sister, I felt the need to share my favorite customer service-related quote from the movie “Waiting…”:

    AMY: I just don’t understand what would compel a person to be such a bitch to a total stranger!

    MONTY: Maybe she was abused when she was a child.

    AMY: Oh God, I fucking hope so.

    So, maybe it will help the OP to have such thoughts about this Director?

  4. Anonymous*

    Try to vent your anger in ways that he’ll never hear you, even if that means you write out a letter of what you’d like to say. Don’t ever send it, but then read it a little while later with a cooler head. It works for many situations.

    Then I suggest that you don’t stop your job search. Keep going as if this never happened. If it comes through, then decide if you still want it. If it doesn’t, something will come along again. Yes, these people are wasting your time, but you are also wasting your time if you are hanging every hope on it.

    1. Candidate*

      I have never stopped my job search. I am angry at the fact that I had passed on other opportunities thinking that this one was going to amount to something. I just want an answer, either way. I can’t even get them to tell me if I am still being considered or not!

      1. Chloe*

        I believe you’ve gotten your answer and the answer is “no”. Move on… As to not burning this bridge because you might run into the guy in 5 years or a job might open up at that company….etc. If I were you I would think HARD about accepting a position at this company or working for this “Director”.

        You might consider contacting an attorney about squeezing some cash out of these jerks. Now THAT would be the ultimate tell off.

      2. Anonymous*

        If you are/were greatly interested in this job and received other opportunities in the meantime, you might’ve wanted to let this job know. Sometimes, when they are really interested in a candidate and the candidate says that s/he has other offers on the table, then sometimes they do move a lot faster to secure that candidate.

        And let’s face it, there are some companies who are flat-out rude. They won’t tell you either way on anything after an interview. For example, I had an interview, sent the employer a thank you note, and I haven’t heard anything since. That was in the fall of 2009. Yes you read that right; it was a year and a half ago. But I’ve moved on after sending a quick follow-up email about a week later without hearing an answer. While you have taken this a little further by actually getting an “offer,” I’d say you’re pretty much in the same boat. Forget these guys. Start considering other offers if they are still on the table. If this is how they are now, imagine what the work environment is when you need information they have and won’t give it to you.

        And you might want to go back to a few days ago with AAM’s answer to a letter about a boss who won’t give his employees the list of clients they are asking for. Food for thought.

        1. Candidate*

          They did indeed know that I was getting offers from other companies. The truth of the matter is that I was still hoping this offer would go through… it’s the best one I’ve had as far as location and salary. I have a friend who works for the school I applied to at a different campus, and he said that when he started in his position he was allowed to hire two people. He told me that it took him 45+ days to get them hired on. Up to a certain point, knowing that information, I felt like hmmm, maybe this is normal? But counting weekends I’m pushing like 70 days now.

          And I’m sorry to hear that you put so much effort into interviewing for that job in 2009 only to hear nothing back. I hope you’ve found something amazing since then :)

          1. Anonymous*

            Can you get in touch with your friend about this and see if she has any insight as to what is going on? Does she know the people you have interviewed with, especially this director? How many business days has it been? I could see it being more like this when it’s next fall’s admission time, but this would almost seem like a down time now since Fall 2011 is most likely secured. If this job is the best you have been offered, then I would try one last effort. Repeat your interest in the position and reiterate your concern about this potential pseudo offer – is it real or not? What does HR need from you to make your application complete – since apparently it’s incomplete?

            But even though you really seem to be into this job, just take into consideration how this person is treating you. So even you might be losing out on a job, you’ll not be gaining a headache. But don’t burn the bridge because you might want to try for something else on the campus and you don’t need this to bite you later.

            As for that position I never back on, despite being interviewed, I wasn’t upset about it. It probably would have been interesting, but it did have a few cons (salary and commute) that would have played against it anyway.

          2. Nichole*

            I hate to pull out a cliche, but it’s perfect here: I doubt this is a company you want to work for anyway. I work in higher ed part time, and the application process was intense, but I never felt misled or disrespected. You just got a peek at the organizational weaknesses you’d be dealing with daily, and your bubbly personality may not survive it. I say you dodged a bullet, and if they come crawling back, I’d politely decline. Good luck to you, hope a *real* opportunity comes for you soon.

  5. Anonymous*

    You have lost the money. Your ma and MIL have messed with their schedule. That is done with. Now you move on. Next opportunity that arises, you call him up, tell him nicely that you need to know what is going on as this company has offered you a position and see what he says then.

  6. Talyssa*

    I guess this is just one of those stories you can tell when people say they are going to quit before they get a written offer letter.

    Not that you can always get a written offer letter, realistically, but I think you can tell a lot from the reason they give for why they don’t have one. “Oh we are still waiting on HR for that” would send up a much bigger red flag than “oh we’re a small company and we’ve never done that before, its scary!”

    2. shawn*

      a written offer letter is not a contract. offer letter or not, she’d still not be working in this job.

  7. Anonymous*

    How was the offer offered? Was it an official offer/letter, or “we would need you to start x date” as in if you were successful? And how do you get fired for having pink accessories?

    1. Mike C.*

      It’s called, “I can fire you for whatever non-discriminatory reason I want, or for no reason at all”.

    2. Candidate*

      The offer was offered to me via conference call, with several people on the call, but the Director did all of the speaking. He told me how great he thought the interview went and that he was sure I’d be a great fit for his team. He asked me how long I would need to find daycare, and I told him I’d like to have 2 weeks to make a good, informed decision that I would be comfortable with. He told me he would give me 1 and half weeks. I told him that would be fine. He had his Assistant Director e-mail me daycare information that they recommended. He congratulated me, told me how excited he was, and at the bottom of the e-mail I received from the Asst. Director, she wrote “looking forward to having you on board!” and included my work schedule. Umm, yeah, so it’s been wayyyy over 1 and half weeks.

      And just for the record, the official reason for being let go from my last job was NOT for having pink accessories on my desk (fan, lamp. bulletin board, etc)…however, it is a bit ridiculous to be reprimanded for such a thing in a call center in the basement where no one is ever seen by clients, especially when my shift was until like 3am. The people in charge there are micromanaging control freaks who take themselves way too seriously. So, since I had no performance issues, attendance issues, etc, they antagonized me for the little things.

      1. Nyxalinth*

        Oh gods, you were in call center hell. that explains the stupidity of your previous employer. Gods forbid they have happy employees, when it’s easy to hire the next batch or better yet, ship the jobs to India.

        As for the current issue, I had a similar thing happen. I was offered a job, and over a six week period I got the HR Runaround on the start date. Then finally I was brought on…

        …only to be fired less than two weeks later, with no reason given. Rumor control ((I heard it from someone still there) was that I was fired because the guy who hired me had done something to get fired. So even though foot-dragging and call avoidance are annoying, sometimes they’re nature’s way of saying “run away!”

  8. Hypatia*

    I’m curious as to whether you’re moving to an academic environment from a non-academic environment. The reason I ask (as someone who works in the administrative side of academia) is that things move at a MUCH different time table than in the “real” world here… and if you’re in academia, you’re just kind of expected to know that.

    For example, I’m on a search committee for a fairly low-level recent-grad type position. We did interviews late Jan/early Feb. A second round in late Feb. A third round in early March. (all this time we’re keeping candidates hanging (Not my preferred method, but I don’t make the rules.) Decision made in early March… verbal, “We’re almost ready to make an offer… and when we do, you’re the one we want…” to two candidates- kind of thing. Still waiting for HR approval and it’s now April 14th. In the meantime we have to keep the other candidates on hold because if the first 2 turn us down, we have to go back to the pool.

    And this is a search that was put on the *FAST* track. No Joke.

    Yeah, it sucks.

    I would say it depends on the vibe you’re getting from the people. At this point they may have decided that you’re not the right candidate BECAUSE of all the calling/texting… which shows you don’t necessarily understand how things work in academia.

    1. Natalie*

      While that’s absolutely true about academia, the director in the OP gave her a start date. This isn’t a situation where the OP doesn’t understand the office’s time table or process.

      1. Mary Sue*

        Unfortunately, though, it sounds like the Director didn’t understand the time table or process. Which in academia, doesn’t surprise me one bit.

        The rest of the scenario (long waiting, HR demanding more information, phone calls not being returned) sound exactly like academia. Which, I know, sucks for you, but I’ve both been there and done that.

        If you want a gig in academia ever in the future, however, I suggest NOT burning that bridge. No one gossips more than academics, and people in colleges on the other side of the planet will know that you told this director off.

  9. Anonymous*

    “I also paid a nonrefundable $100 application fee, in addition to the supplies needed, and also had to purchase new clothes for myself”

    Wait a minute… was this application fee for the job, or for daycare? If it was for the job, run far away fast. You should never have to pay a fee to apply for the job.

  10. Cruella*

    I agree with Anon 11:50. You should write everything you want to say in a letter. Write everything you are thinking about the situation, no matter how insignificant, no holds barred; even curse if that’s what makes you feel better.

    Then burn the letter, not the bridge.

    Like AAM says, you never know when you may have to retreat across it again.

  11. What the?*

    I agree with AAM – while it might feel good telling the director that he’s an incompetent idiot, it will only damage the OP’s chances of ever landing a job with this same employer. I suspect there’s other factors influencing the indecision to fill the job. I say let it go and keep working on the goal of landing a job. Because the door wasn’t completely slammed shut, she does leave herself the opportunity to contact them in another month or if another posting becomes available.

  12. MillenniMedia*

    I’m also in agreement with AAM. While I don’t blame you for being livid (I would be too), there’s still too much uncertainty here and burning the bridge won’t help you to accomplish your real goal, which is to secure employment. If this is the norm for academia, maybe they don’t even realize how rude they’re coming across to someone outside the industry.

    You said you’ve passed up other opportunities. Can you call these people back, explain that your offer may not pan out, and see if they have already filled the job? It’s likely that they have, but it’s also possible that their second choice said no or they lacked another strong candidate and decided to keep interviewing.

    Good luck finding something else that’s a great fit for you! Clearly others have expressed interest, so I’m sure this won’t be the last offer you receive.

  13. Anonymous*

    In terms of HR having the authority to “overrule” a department’s hire – I would absolutely hope so! We have several hiring managers who don’t follow the recruitment process, interview candidates, and then show up at HR’s door and say “This person is starting on Monday!” Our response? “Um, no they aren’t. They need to complete a background check, drug screen, reference check, etc., etc.” So if this Director made an offer that wasn’t cleared through HR, I can understand the hold-up.

    1. Joey*

      Obviously alison does see the value of HR in the screening process. Before any hire is final HR should always be in the loop. Besides the obvious reasons anonymous 11:49 stated hiring managers can miss addressing important issues or they may be blinded by liking the applicant. HR is there for due diligence and it’s frequently in the organizations best interest to pull the plug on someone a manager wants to hire for very valid reasons.

        1. Sara Jo*

          I don’t see this as just a waiting game. It probably has more to do with what Anon 11:49 said.

          OP Wrote: “I called and was told they did not have the approval from HR for me to start… Three weeks into the waiting game, he tells me that HR says my application is incomplete and they want more thorough answers as to why I was discharged from my last position. I have to be creative in this situation…”

          Hmm… “being creative” about why you were terminated sounds fishy. I take it with a grain of salt that you say that you were terminated because your last employer didn’t like you and your bubbly personality. That is your side of the story. The employer probably has a different side to the story. It sounds like HR did reference checks and found something in your background so they are giving you the run around (probably surrounding the previous termination). HR doesn’t want to tell you they found something because you can probably identify the reference or person who gave honest feedback about your prior performance and they don’t want to get in the middle of it or have you argue with them. Also, if they did check references and they have a connection with the previous employer, they don’t want to divulge this because if the previous employer gets into trouble they won’t get an honest reference the next time they call…

          Then the OP wrote, “I text and ask him flat out if the offer is off the table since I haven’t heard anything, and he says no.” It sounds like you got an answer but you are looking for a reason and I don’t think you are going to get one.

          1. Candidate*

            Yes, I certainly am creative in explaining why I was terminated. How do you explain that you were terminated because someone didn’t like you? I served my clients, not my manager… I was in customer service. I get amazing reviews and recommendations from my clients and field staff that I served on a daily basis. How do you get reprimanded for decorating your cubicle? Which is located in the BASEMENT? Working 2nd/3rd shift? I mean really, the petty stuff was out of control. I was absolutely not fired for any performance issue, attendance issue, etc. Nothing that directly affected my work performance. In fact, I worked with a bunch of…well, idiots. I had to be one of the most competent, educated people in that office, but I always kept my mouth shut while fixing others’ mistakes. I supposedly “wasn’t a good fit.” Because I like to use functional office supplies that happen to be pink? Again…basement, 2nd/3rd shift…it shouldn’t matter.

            And are you suggesting that when he told me that the offer was NOT off the table, I should have interpreted that differently??

          2. Sara Jo*

            I think I misread the part about the offer being off the table after reading it again which would have changed my response a bit.

  14. Ask an Advisor*

    OP, DO NOT BURN THIS BRIDGE!!! College admissions is a small world, so burning this bridge will undoubtedly hurt your job search efforts. You also mentioned that this is a multi-campus school, so do you really want word getting out that you went off on this Director at one campus if you choose to apply to another campus (or even the same campus)?

  15. Shakti*

    Candidate,
    Have you seen this site? Email Your Interviewer

    I don’t know how likely it is that it would be traced back to you if you used this site, so proceed with caution.

    Perhaps you will come across this person’s name when they interview for a position at the new workplace you will find. You could always drop a line into the hiring manager’s ear when that happens. Or not.

    Like everyone says, the world is small.

    1. Anonymous*

      I would say go for it, but since she is apparently THE candidate they have chosen (and might know the game they are playing), it would be obvious it was her, unless they are letting everyone else hang out to dry after their interviews.

  16. Spam-Math, yum.*

    While it might be satisfying in the short term, there is a reason it is called “burning a bridge”. No taking it back and no going back. I don’t understand why any job seeker would do that.

  18. Anonymouse*

    If you’re applying for a job in education in a state like California or another experiencing major budget cuts, I’d say you’re out of luck. 70 days ago, the situation was much more optimistic than it is now. Layoffs are happening, and more are to come.

    I’d say give up, and try again later. The potential job that you applied and interviewed for has probably been frozen.

    And, even if you do get the job, the last hired are often the first to go. So, there’s that too….

  19. fposte*

    Another thought–OP, you take pride in your positive and upbeat attitude, and I don’t think the kind of scorched-earth approach you’re contemplating is in keeping with that attitude. Is being a positive and upbeat person something you’d like to preserve despite the vagaries of job hunting? If so, then that’s another reason to let this one go.

    1. Candidate*

      Of course I would love to preserve that reputation…I just also don’t want to be thought of as one who tolerates being disrespected. I would never act in this manner if I were in their shoes.

      1. fposte*

        I don’t mean the reputation, I mean the approach. You want to be a curmudgeon, that’s fine; come on over and join me, though the pink office supplies can’t come. But you’re stewing. You’re planning fantasies of takedowns. You’re invective-tossing. All of which is understandable, but it’s also souring, and the longer it goes, the longer it sours you. It’s hard not to feel this situation personally, but the more you understand that it’s not about you personally–which it isn’t–the more I think you can get perspective on this. They’re not thinking of you as somebody who tolerates disrespect (and honestly, not many people actually think that way) because they’re mostly not thinking about you, period. Even if you do tell the director that he’s the spawn of satanic slugs, the likeliest result is that he’ll take that as evidence that you’re volatile and think that they dodged a bullet. (If you’re prepared to sever the bridge, a polite and polished communication that the delay has meant you’ve had to find work elsewhere is going to be more effective way to look good while achieving closure.)

        Basically, you’re right to be angry, but you’re only hurting yourself, and there’s not much you can do that’s really going to make the other guy hurt instead of you.

  20. Anonymous*

    Does anyone else see the communication via text as a red flag? Who contacts candidates in that way? AAM, what do you think of this?

    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      I think it’s odd; I don’t use texts for anything work-related, let alone to communicate with candidates (!). But I’m willing to think that some places might.

      1. Anonymous*

        I’m just saying that the texting could have been the first indication of either a) the unprofessionalism of the Director and/or the entire organization or b) an indication of the beginning of the end. Why would a candidate get phone calls and emails and then eventually be limited to text messages only? My first thought was to possibly avoid a paper trail.

  21. Diane*

    I work in academia. In my experience at several different colleges, the hiring process is a microcosm of the workplace. It’s exaggerated, maybe warped, but the essentials are there. The person who hired me for my current job was gung ho, then just stopped communicated between offer and start date. Guess what? The whole culture is about enthusiasm followed by silence as people shift their attention to the next fire, hotshot, or whim. Nice people. Good work. Kinda flakey. If a kinder, gentler, grander version of what you’ve experienced in this hiring process is going to make you crazy, don’t go there. Or go there and accept that your work will be guided by enthusiasm and delay, weird communication, and probably some backwards processes that don’t make sense and that you probably can’t fix. Only you know if you can hold your head up through that. Good luck.

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