if you’re unhappy with a change at work, should you bring it up before you start job-searching?

A reader writes:

My fiance, Jim, works at a successful but relatively small nonprofit. He’s the head of his department of one, and is the only person who’s ever been in his role; he was hired to start the department about two years ago and by all accounts has been very successful.

About four months ago, there was an internal restructuring, and he ended up with a new boss who’s now making changes. Jim was fully remote until two months ago, when he started having to go in three days a week, which was a bit disappointing but overall fine. However, now they want to change his hours. His hours are 9-5, but he’s a morning person and on the days he works from home, he often starts work at 7 am or 8 am because it’s when he works best and he prefers to have more free time later. He does have to be “on call” functionally until 5 pm when he does that though. Most people at the org work 10 am – 6 pm, and they want him to change to match. He hates this idea. He said it might be workable on WFH days, but he’s in the office more than half the week and he’ll be miserable getting home from work at 7 pm. The day he found out about the change, he started putting together his resume and putting feelers out in his network to find out about other openings.

My question is: if you feel that strongly about a change, is it worth it to bring it up before you leave to see if they’re willing to be flexible? I know there’s risk involved with that, so I guess I’m asking how you weigh risk vs reward here.

Yeah, if you otherwise like the job and something changes that makes you want to leave, it often makes sense to bring it up and see if it’s fixable before you quit over it.

That doesn’t usually mean saying outright, “I am going to quit if this doesn’t change.” Sometimes it might, which I’ll get to in a minute, but usually you’re better served by something like:

“I appreciate the reasons you’re asking me to sync my hours with everyone else’s, but I work a lot better starting earlier in the day. Is there any room for flexibility on this?”


“X is really important to me — it’s one of the reasons I took the job initially and have happily stayed here as long as I have. Would you be open to trying __ instead?” (In some cases you could propose trying your suggestion just for a few months and seeing how it goes.)

When you say something is really important to you, the subtext is already there that you might end up leaving if you don’t get it, so you don’t usually need to spell it out. But in a small number of cases, it can make sense to anyway — usually when you think that clearly stating that could change the outcome and you’re confident you can safely say it without retribution. That last part is really key, because some managers will react really badly to anything that feels like forcing their hand, and you don’t want to get pushed out earlier than you would have left on your own or sour the relationship with your boss for whatever time you remain. But there are some situations where you can safely say, “I want to be up-front that this is important enough to me that I’d likely move on if we can’t do it.”

To be clear, none of this means you’re obligated to talk to your boss if you’re unhappy enough with a change to leave over it. You’re allowed to decide that you don’t feel like expending the effort or the capital. But in a job you otherwise like, it often makes sense to try.

Read an update to this letter

{ 126 comments… read them below }

  1. Falling Diphthong*

    I think the key part to Jim’s reaction is “in a job you otherwise like.” And the new manager has been steadily making this a job that’s more like 50% good things rather than 80% good things. Not all horrible. But everything doesn’t have to be terrible for you to recognize a trend, tell yourself “One more annoying change and I’m out” and then follow through on the next annoying change.

    1. Eldritch Office Worker*

      I think you can address the pattern the same way you address the individual item. OP doesn’t really say how Jim feels about the boss outside of the scheduling changes.

    2. Language Lover*

      This. If it’s one change, then it’s worth discussing. But it sounds like every new change is making the job less desirable and even if he wins one of the battles, he probably will lose many others and it’s easier to start looking now.

      My only caveat is if he thinks there’s a way to get his department moved again to someone who appreciates more flexibility. Does he have the clout to do that with the person who made the restructuring happen?

    3. NeedRain47*

      Maybe, but not all annoying changes are weighted the same, you know? I can tolerate several small changes I don’t love, but there are a few things that would be a dealbreaker for me personally and probably wouldn’t be for everyone else.

      1. Lydia*

        I don’t think any individual change has to be a dealbreaker if enough small annoying changes make enough of a difference in your enjoyment of the job.

        1. Grizabella the Glamour Cat*

          Yes. A bunch of small annoying changes can eventually add up to a deal-breaker, especially if they are indications that things are trending in a negative direction that seems likely to get worse.

          In other words, there’s no need to wait for things to get worse and worse until they’re “bad enough,” when you can clearly see which way the wind is blowing.

      2. Daisy*

        Going from fully remote to 3 days a week in person would be huge to me and probably a deal breaker right there. Make this morning person do early evenings on top of that and I would for sure start looking also.

        1. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

          Agreed, each is not ideal, but each of these makes the other one worse. I’d find this super annoying.

        2. Reluctant Mezzo*

          And this is weird–so many companies are Dawn Patrol people, it’s very unusual to find one who favors us Laties. However, if he should decide to look, his being a natural Dawn Patrol person is likely to work in his favor.

    4. ferrina*

      Yeah, I agree with this assessment. I’m hoping Jim said something directly, like “Actually, I’d really like to keep my hours as they are, because I’m a morning person” or “Actually, I’ve found I work best from home. What is the impetus for me to come in to the office?”

      But since it’s been a string of things and assuming Jim has spoken up, it sounds like the manager is focusing on some odd priorities and Jim’s quality of life isn’t a consideration. Manager isn’t taking steps to work with a strong performer, and that’s not likely to change. At least this way Jim can leave on his own terms and take his time finding a good fit, rather than waiting until it gets really bad and impacts his mental health. Honestly, I wish I’d done this in several situations in my career.

      1. Sleeping Sun*

        Just this!!!

        I’m job searching because over the last year I’ve seen some changes in the company and my department that, while not that bad individually, is a pattern of annoying things, and I’ve also decided talking to my boss won’t help (the things he can change, he doesn’t care to do so).

        But, since I’m not in a hurry to move, I can be very picky about where I interview and what I would accept to take another job.

      2. AbruptPenguin*

        Yeah, it sounds like the boss is making moves that indicate they’re not too invested in Jim’s satisfaction with his job conditions. Now is a good time to start looking. You don’t want to wait until you’re desperate to escape.

        I’m generally wary of any new manager who comes in and starts making sweeping changes without taking the time to learn the job and get to know their team. That type of power flexing is incompatible with the traits that make a good manager.

      3. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

        I’d be curious to know if Jim has raised these concerns and, if so, what he said. I totally agree with your advice if Jim has tried to have these conversations and nothing changed. If he hasn’t, it’s worth considering bringing it up, depending on what Jim’s relationship with the supervisor is and an assessment of the likelihood that the conversation will help or hurt.

    5. IRelate*

      So true, it becomes a lobster in the boiling pot situation. I am in this myself and seeing what I can do.

      1. Filthy Vulgar Mercenary*

        Wishing you the best outcomes, both during the process and with whatever decision you make.

        I normally scroll on by comments but something about yours caught me and had me coming back (scrolling back up lol) with the metta/lovingkindness meditation wishes for you.

        May you be at peace. May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease.

        1. metadata minion*

          This marvelously kind comment combined with your username is just delightful. :-)

      2. DivineMissL*

        My last job was “death by a thousand cuts.” It was lots and lots of little slights, little inconsistencies, little annoyances, little changes, that gradually built up over years until I hit the last straw and found something else.

    6. Annony*

      I agree. He was already unhappy with losing remote work. The change in hours probably just pushed him over the edge. Even if the hours changed back, he wouldn’t be happy there. Also, these are just the changes he is telling his SO about. There could be more work related changes he is chaffing at.

    7. Random Bystander*

      So true … I experienced this myself, and have been (thus far unsuccessfully) attempting to change jobs internally (within the company).

      My job has changed to the point that, if I could afford to quit, I would. I ugly-cry daily because of what my job turned into, and I’ve been struggling with depression to the point that suicidal is the only rung down, and that scares the crap out of me because how does one interview well when you’re losing all hope?

      If you imagine that at one point, my job consisted of five parts–Task A (loved, was the most meaningful work I’ve ever done) which comprised about 5% of my job; Task B (liked a good deal, had some elements very close to Task A) comprised about 40% of the job; Task C (liked ok, but it was really rote work) comprised about 25% of the job; Task D (did not dislike, but extremely rote) 15 % of the job; and Task E (disliked, but did because it was part of the job-meaningless and 99.99% fixing mistakes other people made) about 15% of the job. Well, they outsourced Task A, so I didn’t get to do that any more, and an increase in Task C. Then my supervisor told me that there was a new team and she’d selected me to be transferred to it because I’m so competent and analytical … the job is 100% Task E. I was not asked how I felt about it, it was just “there’s this new team, and they needed someone from our team, so you’re it”.

      To make it worse … whoever told her that analytical skill was important to this job either A) didn’t know squat about what’s entailed in doing the job; B) was a liar; or C) thinks that putting files into alphabetical order requires extreme analytical skill. There is no option D. Telling me “I’m sure you’ll excel at this” is about the same level as telling a high school student “I’m sure you’ll excel at reciting the alphabet.” Quite frankly, anyone who is not competent to do this particular task is not competent to handle Tasks B or C, and there’s not enough Task D work to create a full time position. Including the time that I was doing Task E as only part of the job, in 18 months there were exactly two items (out of about 100 per day that I complete) that required any significant thought to resolve.

      1. juneybug*

        Oh, that sounds terrible “Random Bystander”!!
        I hope you soon find a job that is Task A all the time!!

      2. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

        Dang, that sounds awful. I’m so sorry that this is all weighing so heavily on you. What do you think would happen if you told that manager that you’d prefer to go back to something more similar to your previous role? The way she’s behaved so far isn’t encouraging, but it’s maybe worth thinking about.

        What is it with managers making decisions to transfer people to new jobs without talking to them first? Unless I had talked with my boss about my career aspirations and they knew for a fact that the job had more that I loved and less that I disliked, even a move to an objectively better job without any kind of discussion would be concerning. It would be impossible to feel secure, knowing that they could do this to me at any time.

        1. Random Bystander*

          I actually did tell former supervisor (the one who switched me to this team) much of what I put in my post above–the part about “I’m sure you’ll excel” was a direct quote from her (add in “if you give it a chance, …”) but my response was that I had already been doing Task E as part of my job (it was part of everyone on the team’s job, but I swear to God it appears I was the only one who actually did it) and I knew what I was talking about and analytical skills are not a requirement for completing this work (OK, for those 2 in 20,000 specific items, yes … but let’s just go with what’s ordinary since those 2 items could always be kicked upstairs to review with a lead for someone who couldn’t figure it out on their own.

          She also said something about how she had split the team earlier and just assigned who was where. I was out on leave (cancer surgery & recovery) at the time, so the change had taken place and was just “this happened while you were out” and I assumed that there’d been a matter of asking for volunteers. Also, that wasn’t a complete task change–it was more like say we had all been responsible for a slice of Eastern Teapots and Western Teapots, and the change meant that we each had a bigger slice of the work but would only work Eastern Teapots or Western Teapots and not both, but the job still consisted of Tasks B, C, D, and E in both divisions (since Task A had already been taken away).

  2. NeedRain47*

    Ooof, good luck to LW’s fiance. That would be a dealbreaker for me too, I’ve worked 7ish to 3:30ish for decades, I’m a morning person and I like it that way. But if your boss isn’t a jerk, talk to them, the worst they’ll do is say no.

    1. Certaintroublemaker*

      Yeah, if I were Jim, I’d propose coming in 7:30-3:30, blocking the commute time home in my calendar, and checking until 5:00 for anything that comes up in email or slack.

    2. My Useless 2 Cents*

      I am not a morning person but I love an early work start so I can have most of my “good” hours outside the job.

      Although, the type of activity plays a big part, if I need to sit and concentrate without distraction then 7-10AM is the time to do it but if I want to be “productive” with activities/chores then early evening hours (4-7PM) is the ideal. I would absolutely hate a job that was until 6PM. I’d feel like I had no time to get anything done at home. A workday ending at 5PM is pushing it!

    3. Brain the Brian*

      I am the exact opposite of LW’s fiancée — I’m a night owl who would prefer a noon-8pm workday — but I really strongly believe that any job whose functions can be performed flexibly should be allowed that flexibility. I wish LW’s fiancée the best of luck sorting this out and getting the early-flexed schedule they need!

    4. Lizard on a Chair*

      Same. I work 7am-3pm to align with my kid’s school schedule. If I was told I had to work 10am-6pm instead (which some of my colleagues do by choice), I would have to find another job.

  3. Sloanicota*

    To be fair, as a manager, whenever I implement an unpopular change, such as asking people to come back into the office when they have been remote, in the back of my mind I’m already weighing the likelihood that people will leave over this change – so it’s not as if they aren’t already aware of the risk. But if I were this employee I’d also be wondering, if the office really wants this position to start at 10, are they going to begrudgingly allow me to start at 8 because I threatened to quit over it, but always kind of be bitter about it / hold it against me? I want to generally be in synch with the priorities of my office!

    1. Jen*

      You’re one of the good ones, then. I’ve seen plenty of managers be shocked when they implement a change that negatively impacts quality of life and it’s universally panned. Usually it’s something that has a flimsy rationale behind it, and said manager thinks they can talk about “the mission” or “optics” and everyone will fall in line like obedient drones. I’m not a brain surgeon or a five-star general, so I don’t think “the mission” is gonna grind to a halt because I want to flex my schedule by one hour.

      1. Richard Hershberger*

        Not merely universally panned, but leads to some people walking. How often have we seen stories of clueless bosses who are absolutely flabbergasted when that happens?

      2. Kelly*

        I worked for small businesses that are run like tiny dictatorships. The owners are always shocked when the employees don’t just go along with their crazy changes and demands to control our entire lives. My last boss used to threaten us with double on call plus working 6 days a week because the clients really wanted it. No extra pay beyond the small emergency fees he begrudgingly paid out (and threatened to do away with). Half the professional staff quit in two weeks and it was typhoon season for the entire notice period.

        1. Small Business Survivor*

          This reminds me so much of my last job.
          During 2020 my state had a program that let small businesses do a partial furlough- so the business paid us 4 days a week and we came in and worked as usual and then we didn’t work the 5th day and got unemployment for that day.
          Well after a couple of weeks my boss decided she really liked paying everyone less, but hated that we weren’t working all 5 days.
          So she started talking about leaving the program and just cutting everyone’s pay by 1/5 and have them come back to working full time. She was absolutely SHOCKED when multiple people informed her if she did that they would immediately start job searching.
          Like she really expected we’d all just be thrilled to take a massive pay cut.

          1. Boof*

            Wow! That takes a certain level of self-absorption to either not realize they are actually asking people to work more for less money (since they won’t get the unemployment funds) or to not realize that a 20% paycut would be a huge deal/likely dealbreaker for a lot of folks

          2. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

            I don’t even have words for how bananapants this is. Anyone with more than 3 brain cells to rub together should be able to figure out this is a terrible idea that will leave people furious.

  4. Well That's Fantastic*

    Thank you for this! I recently put in my notice at a job where the boss would repeatedly have (false) excuses why problems weren’t being addressed. I didn’t have the guts to confront my boss about the lies, but I did keep saying that fixing the problems was important to me. The boss is now giving me guilt trip for leaving the company in the lurch “without speaking up about being stressed.” Uh–I’ve been doing all the work for my three-person department solo for a year and asking you regularly for hiring updates. Even if the boss hadn’t lied to claim there were no applicants, w0uldn’t that be clear?

    1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      You and Elsewise worked for the same guy…or there’s more than one. (most likely)

    2. Artemesia*

      Bad managers are always SHOCKED, shocked when their abused employees give notice. I hope you were able to say ‘I have been doing the work of 3 people for a year now and regularly asking about hiring updates — I thought I was pretty clear.’

    3. My Useless 2 Cents*

      I’m always a little puzzled by the guilt trip from some managers. If I’ve turned in my notice, then I am past starting to job search phase, and have hung on long enough to find another job. I am long past the ability to guilt trip phase. My only thought would be “whelp, I guess you should have started listening to my a year ago!”

    4. Kelly*

      Same here. I put up with a LOT of abuse at my last job and my boss told me I was stabbing him in the back because I quit. The assistant who made it her goal in life to get me fired called me a traitor. Whenever I brought up a concern I was punished and threatened so why would I try anymore?

      1. Kelly*

        And one of the verbal beat-downs we got when someone anonymously said morale was in the toilet was that we could all quit if we were unhappy.

    5. Gary Patterson’s Cat*

      Oh they ALWAYS act SURPRISED but it’s a lie. They just didn’t listen or didn’t care. Employers act like you can’t get another job or something.

    6. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

      Him being a jerk for a year should give you full permission to not feel guilty at all. He f***ed around and now he’s finding out. That’s on him.

  5. MsMaryMary*

    I agree that it’s worth saying something. I’ll also add that, in my experience, unless you’re super explicit about how much you dislike the situation, management’s response will still be “why didn’t you tell us you were unhappy?!” when you quit.

    I’m not suggesting to give an ultimatum. It just seems like feedback on work hours/conditions, pay, work load, career progress, etc doesn’t seem to be seen as the dealbreakers they are.

    1. Elsewise*

      At my (super awful) old job, I told my boss when interviewing that I needed XYZ, and he said sure. A few months into the job without any communication on that, I told him “I need XYZ to be successful”. When that didn’t work, I told him “I need XYZ to be happy here.” When THAT didn’t work, I went with “if I don’t get XYZ, I can’t do my job.” This went on for months. Finally, I got a new job and I quit. His response? “Wow, that’s sudden. Was there something you were unhappy with?”

      There’s just no talking to some people.

      1. Middle Aged Lady*

        I am amazed that I got to be so old before I learned this. There are people who simply will not hear anything they don’t want to hear, then act shocked when circumstances make them hear it. I often ask myself how this could be a trait that is beneficial somehow in an evolutionary fashion, or if it’s a trait that’s harmful and happens to be attached to a good gene. Or is it learned behavior? People learn if they ignore negative feedback, most of it stops or something like that. It’s very confusing, especially when the same person expects you to hear and respond to their subtlest hints. Note: in my experience, most of these individuals are male. Your experience may vary.

        1. allathian*

          I think that it’s a behavior some people, mainly men, learn in societies where they can get away with it.

        2. Allonge*

          They get to pretend they are the good guys (regardless of gender) and that they are just victims of other people’s whims.

          That’s the beneficial part. It’s not their fault, so they don’t have to change anything.

        3. Jopestus*

          Well, if they have been around people like a few in my extended family who actively invent non-issues and demand attention to them and then forget them in a few weeks, it works since they learn that problems go away by waiting.

          IF they have been around people like that a lot in the childhood then it is understandable. Entirely incorrect and counterproductive in the real world in a vast majority of cases, but understandable.

          1. Middle Aged Lady*

            I never thought of this! Growing up around unreasonable people makes you believe your coworkers are just making stuff up the way your crazy family did.

            So, any complaint will cause alarm bells to go off, but the ‘ignore it’ learned behavior will take over.

            It’s also odd how some people can’t hear you unless you raise your voice or take a tone, while others will become dysregulated by a raised voice and dissociate and not hear you.
            Basically, I believe over half of us have trauma or bad parenting experiences that make it difficult to work with others. Too nice, too mean, too dirty, too obsessive…a bunch of strangers thrown together for 40 hours a week.
            Am grateful for AAM. I thought I was a decent supervisor; I have learned so much here.

          2. rebelwithmouseyhair*

            It also works with the nagging wife. If you ignore her long enough she’ll either do it herself or put up with it not being done. Then suddenly they’re on AITA asking “did she really leave me over a few dishes in the sink?”
            How many guys have cornered me in a bar and told me their sob story of how their wife or GF just upped and left without telling him anything was wrong? I’ve lost count actually.

            1. Zweisatz*

              Yup, it’s the sexism. “Oh I thought I found this cool loophole where I can solve problems by ignoring them for long enough… what do you mean sometimes there are consequences to my behavior and I only have myself to blame?”

              A lot of times they get away with it because someone will cave and do it for them. Doesn’t mean that there was no problem to fix.

      2. I Wrote This in the Bathroom*

        Same experience here, from the only job I ever had that I left after 3 months.

        Offer stage: I don’t want to accept, hiring mgr spends 30 min on the phone with me and finally convinces me to take the job because “it is cutting-edge experience and, after a year here, you’ll be able to get a job anywhere”

        My 1st day: I’m told that I am being contracted out to a friend of my boss’s to do work that is the opposite of what I was promised, but it’s only for a month or two, and part-time.

        2 months in: Boss tells me sorry, this thing you’re doing for my friend is actually permanent and full-time and I cannot do anything.

        3 months in: I give my notice. CEO/owner pulls me into his office to tell me “you should’ve told us you were unhappy doing the thing! Do you want thing gone? consider it gone” but I already signed the offer, completed my BG check and drug screen, and am also gone. And I’d been shouting it from the rooftops that I didn’t want to do the thing, hadn’t been hired to do the thing, and considered doing the thing detrimental for my career long-term.

        It’s like dating IME. Any reason you give for leaving, the other side will use as an excuse to lure you into staying. Oh why didn’t you say you didn’t like my drinking problem, here, see? I am quitting cold turkey now. Will you stay? (and then he does not quit)

        With that said, I’d give the employer one chance to make things right. I’d talk to them once, but if nothing is done after that, commence the job search. And when you leave, you tell them “an opportunity came up that was too good to pass up”. They cannot try to string you along if it’s simply an unplanned good opportunity.

    2. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

      The tough thing is balancing that with legitimate concerns that being too upfront will backfire. Some people get weirdly combative if you question them. So it often means weighing the pros and cons of each option in the context of the job and decision-maker.

  6. Radioactive Cyborg Llama*

    I think Jim may be thinking that micromanagers are going to micromanage. I’m sure there are jobs where complete schedule alignment is necessary but those are rare. He overlaps with the other folks for 5-6 hours a day, and I have to assume that’s enough. Some bosses just like making rules, like, even though you’ve successfully done your job for 2 years fully remote, now you have to come in 3 days a week and line up 100% with your co-workers’ schedules.

    1. Leave Hummus Alone*

      YES. Instead of getting to the crux of the issue, such as not having enough overlap to schedule meetings, which can be resolved by having core hours where everyone is working (ie 10 – 2).

    2. Ashley*

      I love the concept of ‘core hours’ for companies to better accommodate a variety of schedules. You know set hours to schedule meetings and if something needs to happen late or early to accommodate other factors it is a check in with the person.
      I think my younger self would have loved a 10-6 schedule, but now that would drive me batty. Especially on a sunny Friday afternoon.

    3. Ellen D*

      I’m a late starter, but had an early starter working for me (I’m 9.30 to 6pm & he was 6.30 to 3.30), initially we had problems, but we then got into a flow that meant he got my response waiting for him at 6.3o when he started, and anything I asked him to do for me was waiting when I got in. By adjusting pattern of exchanging work, we got to the point of rarely having to wait for the other to do anything, and I felt was more productive. We overlapped for around 6 hours, so meetings and discussion took place then.

      1. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

        Very cool – this set-up turned out to have benefits you didn’t anticipate.
        Was talking to a friend last week who is dealing with some rigidity in her work around this kind of thing. She pointed out that having people doing slightly different schedules means the manager gets more coverage. She works in a job where last-minute emergencies and urgent requests come up pretty regularly. When some people do 7:30-3:30 and others do 10-6, that means you have coverage for 10 1/2 hours, not 8.

  7. Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain*

    To the general question, “if you’re unhappy with a change at work, should you bring it up before you start job-searching?” it certainly depends on the size of the change, is it universal to the org or just a department change, and if there is a logical reason why. If it’s universal to the org, you might actually be able to get an exemption because it’s likely others will push back too or managers will recognize that one-size doesn’t fit all. If it’s just a department change and your boss is the one changing it… I think I would job search; they aren’t likely to make an exception for one person and it’s probably a personal thing for the boss — they have a bugaboo about something they think needs to be fixed.

  8. Emily*

    Job searching can be really helpful as a source of information. Like, if you find yourself getting offers that would make you move even if you were able to ‘fix’ whatever issue had you job searching, that’s informative. Or if you find out that the market just isn’t there, and even if you can’t fix the current situation at your job, you wouldn’t be ready to leave, that’s also likely going to affect if/how you talk to your manager.

    1. Artemesia*

      This. Job search on the QT and find out what the options are. Might be time for a move to advance his career anyway — or he may discover he is lucky to have what he has. Can’t tell till you look — and on your own relaxed time table.

      1. Filthy Vulgar Mercenary*

        Thanks for the QT flashback. I can hear my local radio station talking about the quiet storm and quiet tips.

    2. OrdinaryJoe*

      I was coming on to say the same thing … start looking, see what’s out there, see what’s being offered and if anything sounds good. In my experience, I’d expect the conversation with your manager to range from ‘indifferent’ to ‘defensive’ to ‘hostile’.

      The company seems to be making a lot of changes to his job without having a conversation with him … that leads me to think they they’re not going to be open to any discussion.

  9. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd*

    I think the hours/return to office situation are the most apparent issue (hence the letter) but what seems to be going on is his “department of one” historically operated quite independently and is now being merged in with another team. Bringing working patterns into line is part of that, but probably only the start of how this plays out.

    From his perspective I think a conversation about the restructuring and what changes that will entail more broadly is probably warranted. Not just about working hours but also in terms of autonomy, job roles, etc.

    As an interviewer if someone answered with a variation of the letter in response to “why are you looking to move on from your role” I, and a lot of managers, would ask whether you’d tried to address the concerns with your current management first. My concern would be that at the first sign of something they don’t like, the candidate would just start applying elsewhere instead of trying to solve it. And potentially whether that says anything about their approach to tackling ‘situations’ in general.

    1. Anon4This1*

      True, as long as you understand that there are some VPs/Senior Leaders that refuse to hear anything but sunshine and lollipops or you’re not a team player; to the point that you don’t bother mentioning it because you know it puts a target on your back. The hope is that you can show this new hire that your org is different are receptive to feedback.

    2. Qwerty*

      This is really good advice because it isn’t just one thing that is changing for Jim – the whole job is shifting as he merges with the new team and it might be better to rip the bandaid off rather than get more frustrated as each new change rolls in.

    3. Fnordpress*

      And that’s why there’s so much advice on the blog about only sharing what you need to with interviewers (and that’s coming from someone who has also been in hiring roles before.) I wouldn’t personally bother bringing up concerns at my current workplace because management has shown they don’t care — but I also wouldn’t relay any of that to an interviewer, because there’s no reason to. Why self incriminate?

      1. ADHD(no H; all inattentive)*

        Exactly. Jim should answer questions about why he is looking at leaving by pointing out that his role is getting rolled into another department. He’s concerned about whether his new role will have the same level of challenges and autonomy that he has had up until now. It doesn’t help that his hybrid work environment is being discontinued.

      2. Lizard on a Chair*

        Agreed. I’ve been on both sides of the hiring table and I actually don’t think it makes sense for the interviewer to ask, “Have you tried to resolve this issue with management?” I would be surprised by that question; it feels a little meddling. You’re not HR, you’re not in my workplace, and whether I tried to handle it or just decided to job search is kind of…none of your business. The interviewer doesn’t know my manager or what’s going on internally at my company, so how can they judge whether I’ve handled my situation appropriately?

      3. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

        This. I left my last role because a new manager came in and reacted badly to feedback about making sure our deliverables were high quality. Even though I had been working on this stuff for years and she wasn’t familiar with most of the project. Based on that, the whole team figured there wasn’t any point in raising the bigger issues with her about her management style. It was not fun being managed by someone who was not particularly competent and chose to micromanage.

        When I decided to look around, I emphasized wanting to shift to another type of work (which was 100% true!) and chose not to mention any issues with the manager.

    4. Artemesia*

      Which is why applicants should not discuss such things when asked why they are looking for a new job — because they may end up with someone like you. This feels very victim blamey — you can hardly expect someone to go into detail about their relationship with their manager when being interviewed for a new role, so you can only jump to conclusions about them in this situation. It is always time for ‘growth’, new challenges, opportunities to stretch were limited at OLDPLACE. Don’t share details that can be used against you or compromise you.

    5. CommanderBanana*

      Gosh, maybe it was because every attempt to bring up problems was met with an accusation that you were “causing drama”??

    6. Caliente Papillon*

      Meh this smacks of mgmt is always right so if you can’t work with them you have an issue. Most places I have worked, if I had an issue it was time to go because they don’t gaf. And yep the last job I left after much communication with them about the issues, which THEY AGREED WITH, but decided they couldn’t do anything about right now…we’ll take your time sugar but I’ll be leaving. But we’re they shocked when I gave notice within a month. Like ya told me you could do nothing for me and thought I’d stay? Hahaha

      1. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd*

        > this smacks of mgmt is always right so if you can’t work with them you have an issue

        Not necessarily – remember as the interviewer, the hiring manager doesn’t know what management is like at their (the candidate’s) current company, or what the history is. If all I have to go on is “something happened and now I’m job searching” it is reasonable to try to suss out whether they have acted impulsively or if there is a good reason. The other side of it is if they haven’t raised the issues, get all the way through the interview and offer process, give their notice and then bring it up with their management at that point – and don’t take the job because it turns out it was solvable.

  10. Shingles*

    Oh man, what timing! We just had a restructuring and instead of letting someone go (because their position was not needed anymore), I was told they’d join my team — which is great; we need the help! But then this person said “Well, I took this job so I could stay home with my infant and work remotely” when I need them in the office at least part-time with the rest of the team.
    It’s a stinky situation since they were unfortunately told something pretty far outside of our company policy by someone who is no longer around, and now I get to be the person to say “sorry – it’s this or else.”
    This is good to think about, though, for what other flexibilities we may be able to offer, even if the in-office bit isn’t on the table for discussion right now.

    1. Artemesia*

      A business that allows a worker to do infant care routinely while supposedly doing a job is pretty ridiculous anyway. Every business I know requires full time day care for full time workers working at home (COVID of course distorted that temporarily)

      1. CJ*

        If she’s doing all the childcare as well as working, that’s not tenable, but it could be a situation where she’s got childcare at home but working from home means she can take breaks to nurse the baby, in which case having to go into the office means suddenly having to rework the whole routine (and possibly spend unplanned $$$ on a pump).

        1. SpaceySteph*

          My son was born the day covid lockdowns began in my city. We kept him out of daycare as long as possible while I and then my husband took parental leave (consecutively to lengthen how long he was home) but when I went back to work fulltime from home and my husband was home watching the baby, I found it very hard to find time to nurse him. I ended up pumping most workdays anyway even though he was right downstairs because his feeding times didn’t line up with my gaps between meetings.

      2. AlsoADHD*

        Could be a lot of different situations. My job wouldn’t work with that and is fully remote but more junior jobs on my team can. One really experienced team member elected not to move up levels so he could care for his daughter (nearly 2 now). He’s a really great learning developer and video editor who also could do higher level training development work but he sticks to the low meeting, more asynchronous work, and his skill set is well worth the flexibility. It’s worth the small pay difference (could make more with his skill set) to him to save the money on day care and get time with his kid. His partner also works from home but has a more intense schedule, he flexes his time a lot and finishes projects early morning or later night. He’s meeting deadlines and I’m lucky to have a developer who can do what he does as well and fast as he does it.

  11. Leave Hummus Alone*

    I’m annoyed on behalf of Jim for these seemingly arbitrary rules. As a person who has worked in nonprofits for 20+ years, I can tell you that development people only stay in their position 14-16 months on average. There’s really no reason for that much overlap — especially because a butt in a chair does not equate more dollars raised. It’s not just in Jim’s best interest, but the organization’s as well, to make these accommodations so that Jim is happy and working at his best times so that they don’t have to start over with a new development person who has to rebuild relationships and learn everything anew.

    1. madge*

      Higher ed fundraising here for 15-ish years, and hard agree. Jim is a dream come true in development. And if butts are in seats, they aren’t meeting with donors (zoom notwithstanding…).

      Our leaders forcing us all back into cubicles a minimum of 3 days/week is the main reason I’m searching. I analyze data, make calls/send emails, and go visit people. Why on earth do I need to drive to a noisy, freezing cubicle with awful parking to do those things?!?! When will the fundraising industry learn?

      1. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

        I would be so tempted to complain about all the things that annoyed me about the office and ask what they’re going to do to solve it. They’re causing these problems with their policies, so it should be up to the organization to come up with a solution. But I probably wouldn’t because the whole thing would backfire.

  12. Anon4This1*

    Ugh, I feel this. I have been through so many re-orgs, division and supervisor changes that I just rolled my eyes and went with it. There was still enough good to hang on and other positions I had considered didn’t speak to me or have the perks I sill had.

    However, the changing shift of our particular institution and a new boss is making it as though we have to do more with less flexibility and the part of my job I loved (and originally started in at my org) is being taken away in favor of more of what I am starting to resent.

    I’ve spoken up where I feel comfortable (there’s also a lot of toxic loyalty and politics) and doing what I can, but it only goes so far. I hope something changes or something pops up.

    1. Filthy Vulgar Mercenary*

      Yikes, I can so relate to that feeling of having everything perfectly line up – hours, type of work, type of supervisor, relationships with coworkers, flexibility and perks – and then having that go away. It’s such a loss! I feel for you.

      I’m remembering my last truly great job where everything was in place this way. I got up early, journaled and meditated, then walked 10 mins to the subway (that my work subsidized the fares for), took a 7-min subway ride to work, and walked more 10 mins to the office. I could wear gym clothes in, and get in, show my face, then go to the on-site gym for NINETY MINUTES of exercise plus shower. Then I’d break for lunch at a predictable time and go to one of the nearby cheap good places with a few coworkers. Then I knew exactly what time I’d leave work. Nothing was ever an emergency.

      Then it all came crashing down (content note for brief mention of death): new micromanaging boss, one of our group was deployed and killed in action, two others reacted really destructively, another got deployed, I got injured and couldn’t work out anymore, and then I got deployed too and my marriage fell apart.

      I look back at that time as this perfect bubble where all the stars aligned and the planets were in sync for a year of near-perfection. Now, Mercury sure seems to be in Gatorade/the microwave a lot. :)

  13. constant_craving*

    Maybe they’re small enough that it’s not the case, but I imagine plenty of other people not wanting these proposed hours. I can’t drop my son off at daycare any later than 8:30 and the absolute latest he can stay is 6pm. I don’t want him there that late either. Bedtime is 7:45, so even if someone else is picking him up, getting home at 7 means getting 45 minutes per evening with him. Completely unacceptable to me.

    I would definitely leave over this too. I don’t know that I’d bother trying to bring it up, since mandatory hours of this nature with no flexibility suggest a work culture that’s just not friendly to parents/others with dependents. That’s probably not so easily fixable.

    1. DarthVelma*

      The ramification for parents are terrible. But it’s not just folks with dependents. My partner works a very early shift, and if I got home at 7pm we’d be awake together in the same space for 90 whopping minutes per day. Also completely unacceptable.

      This company is run by the same kind of people my brother complains about at his work. They constantly badmouth their wives and kids and will stay at work late so they don’t have to go home and then give him a hard time because he actually likes his family and wants to go home and spend time with them.

      1. Lady_Lessa*

        I was thinking that it was run for/by folks who like to party late and need a later start.

        1. No Longer Working*

          There are other reasons why some people like working 10-6 – I wouldn’t assume they like to party. I asked for those hours myself because I was not a morning person, and because the roads and trains were less crowded outside the height of rush hour. It also benefited my employers because they had employees covering a longer time period to help customers who called or popped in, and to get rush jobs packed for delivery pickup. But the benefit to the employer is field-dependent.

      2. e-non*

        Wow, there doesn’t seem to be any need to disparage the coworkers by suggesting they badmouth their wives and children or are up partying just because their preference is a later work schedule.

        Management isn’t doing a good job handling the conflict between the employees preferred hours, but the mere fact that some of the employees want to wake up and start the workday later isn’t evidence of moral decrepitude.

  14. Jessastory*

    As a teacher, it’s interesting to think about this, because for me, just about anything that would be by itself enough to seek a new job over is likely to be something that couldn’t be changed- like the school hours or which courses I’m assigned to teach. Or things that wouldn’t change – like admin not supporting teachers on student discipline.

    1. Filthy Vulgar Mercenary*

      That’s an interesting perspective!

      I am taking a class with someone who works as a teacher/social worker in a ‘last chance’ type school for kids who have been involved in the justice system or otherwise have too many needs for a regular school system to meet. She recently was injured by a kid because the proper protocols weren’t in place and the new administrator has been letting them lapse (or something like that, I wasn’t clear on the details, but I did come away from our chat clear that it is a leadership issue and not a policy issue like your examples).

      Her injury was the second of 3-4 recent injuries. She said all the teachers were torn because on one hand they love the kids and connecting with them, and on the other hand the new principal is sleeping on the job so badly that they’re noticing an increase in kids’ issues as well as a lack of support for the injured teachers. I wish I could remember the details since you could probably relate to them in a way non-teachers may not be able to.

      Anyway, just a random memory, that might give way to some more examples :)

      1. Jessastory*

        One of my friends was an aide in a school like that. She was attacked and injured twice before she stopped working there. The school admin just would not spend the money on hiring and training enough teachers and aides.

        My school is pretty responsive about adjusting the small things when teachers bring them up. Still, teaching assignments are determined by available staff and student numbers, so there’s not a lot of leeway to rearrange who’s teaching what. If it looked like I’d get permanently assigned to teach AP, I’d have to have a serious discussion with our director over it- that might be something I’d leave over.

  15. Retired Vulcan Raises 1 Grey Eyebrow*

    It sounds like the restructuring has changed the job from what originally suited Jim AND will likely continue to change.

    It’s worth speaking up to say he really really would like to keep his early start time, but he should in parallel start serious job-hunting.

    In interviews, it’s reasonable to say that his job changed from remote and from early to late start due to restructuring. Those 2 factors would be important to many candidates.

    1. madge*

      “In interviews, it’s reasonable to say that his job changed from remote and from early to
      late start due to restructuring. Those 2 factors would be important to many candidates.”

      Yes, and I’d share that in interviews to self-select away from companies who think it’s a silly thing for a candidate to prioritize.

  16. Spicy Tuna*

    If he otherwise likes the job, it’s worth it to ask if there is any wiggle room, especially if he is doing well at work. I used to have a boss who was a real stickler for coming in “on time” or early, even though we never left “on time”. After he left, he wasn’t replaced, so everyone in our group was reporting to the CFO instead. She was the type of manager who did not care about hours worked, just that you got the job done and were generally available when needed during normal business hours. The office was in an area where traffic was a real problem, so it was really nice to know that if you hit a traffic jam or needed a little extra time in the morning, no one cared.

    Sometimes being willing to leave over something you find untenable works. At that same job, a co-worker couldn’t stand working with her boss who was VP level. It wasn’t personality; his work style / habits significantly impacted her ability to do her job. She got another job and when HR got wind (she had left some offer or on-boarding paperwork on the printer… accidentally or on purpose) they immediately told her they would let the VP go in order to keep her. She accepted.

  17. Radioactive Cyborg Llama*

    I think there’s a difference between an isolated change at work and a change that is part of a pattern. You could look at this as changing to undesirable hours, or you could look at it as a boss who has a “butts in seats”/I need to see you working to believe you’re working mentality. An isolated rule can change, but the mindset is unlikely to change. So even if the org allowed him to work more flexible time, what’s the next thing?

    1. Capt. Liam Shaw*

      Changing hours someone works is enough to start job searching. This isn’t like changing a job process or duty. Changing hours can mean a huge direct impact on the life of an employee.

      I am willing to bet if your partner said they couldn’t do the change because of childcare/pick up from school; this conversation would end really quick if there isn’t a business need and this is a preference of the new manager.

  18. NotRealAnonForThis*

    My experience has been “you can, but mileage may vary, and you’ll still likely get #shockedpikachufacegif when you submit your notice”.

    Was probably more frank than I should’ve been, told TPTB that I needed to move to a different division because “I appear to be a poor personality fit with the new manager” (translation: I don’t lie, you can’t make me lie; I’m not going to relocate, and I’m not going to be happy if you up my twice a year travel to twice a month to make me take the job in the relocation area that I turned down by proxy), was told “we’re working on it”.

    When I turned in my notice and that fact became common knowledge, the manager of the division that I’d requested a move to called me directly to ask why I hadn’t asked to be put in his division, because he would move heaven and the other place to get me there. “Um, I asked the TPTB six months ago….”

    1. hbc*

      Ugh, pretty much the same here. “I brought in all my equipment because I was planning to quit over this change, but I’m willing to give it a shot if you do X, Y, and Z.” Four months later: “This is a shock! Why are you quitting?!” “I told you I needed X, Y, and Z. Have you done anything to make them happen, or were you just hoping I would stop caring about them?”

  19. CLC*

    I would definitely ask before leaving. The same thing could end up happening at a new job as well.

    1. Gary Patterson’s Cat*

      If you bring it up, they’ll likely say you’re being insubordinate and they’ll push you out sooner before you’re ready. Stay quiet and drop the bomb on them.

  20. Middle Aged Grad Student*

    This post is very helpful, as I am anticipating my first reorg with a large organization. What I’m hearing about it isn’t great, but I have been wondering if there is anything I can do to push back on the parts that I dislike the most (office relocation is top of this list).

  21. hbc*

    I think it’s a fairly complicated equation that factors in how stubborn/reactionary your manager is, how easy the change is to make, how valuable you are to the company, etc.. I think *most* managers could hear “Is there any chance that I can keep the early hours for the days I’m in office at least?” without flipping out, but if there’s been lots of talk about face time and getting everyone at the company synched up, I wouldn’t bother. Sometimes people have to learn by experiencing the consequences, not just hearing about them.

  22. HonorBox*

    I think the changes that have been made are material enough that it is worth both starting the job search and having a conversation with the boss. If your workplace has hours that are consistent (enough) for the two years that you’re there, and now things are shifting, it may completely upset the apple cart. I’d hate this. If I was getting home at 7, I’d have an hour (two for a few weeks) of light to be outside doing things after work. Try mowing your lawn before work if you have to be in by 10. Not going to happen.

    I think Jim has every right to go to the boss, indicate that the hours being what they were provided him the stability and schedule he needed. By getting home an hour later it is cutting into important things in his life. Those could be whatever he wants to indicate. Maybe it is childcare pickup. Maybe the commute is significantly faster earlier. Maybe it is coaching a kid’s sports team. Maybe it is book club. Whatever the reason, I think just pointing out that the material change to the schedule makes other parts of his life more challenging, and then ask if there’s a way to reconsider. If it is pointed out that the change is a challenge for them, any good boss is going to see that as a potential game over situation. Would I suggest quitting on the spot with nothing lined up? Nope. But absolutely start interviewing and make the request.

  23. Michelle Smith*

    This post is super timely for me as I’m currently weighing what to do about my office’s decision to make a change that is going to blow up my life. Lots of good things to think about. Thanks Alison!

  24. VerilyandAnon*

    Oh wow – I’ve lurked on the site for a long, long time, but this is the first instance where I’ve personally identified with a situation so acutely that it may as well be my own experience. I was hired at my current position as permanent WFH (not temporary due to plague) & assured that would never change. For over a year, I was happy, and I loved my supervisor and my co-worker on our small team.

    A few months ago we were hit with the out of nowhere bombshell that we had a new boss & now answered to them. Immediately they started making all kinds of changes which impacted me most negatively and which were terrible for my mental and emotional health.

    They demanded that I RTO full time for *no* good reason (gave no sane justification and lied and gaslighted me when I said that I had been hired as permanent WFH). Then, a week after taking over, they fired my co-worker *without cause* (confirmed).

    Ever since then dealing with this new boss has been exhausting, stressful, anxiety-inducing, enraging, and has caused me to break down in tears in the office multiple times. They meet all of the definitions of a toxic boss and I feel gaslighted on a daily basis. I never get praise or kudos for a job well done; my prior boss, and co-worker, always appreciated me.

    There is 0 reason for me to be back in the office but that the new boss is trying to micromanage me into oblivion; they are also on a serious power trip and have been for months.

    I know that I can’t stay here. Being back in the office when I don’t have to be, dealing with the new boss, feeling sick with dread and uncertainty just being around them or seeing their name attached to an Email – I *can’t* keep doing this. It’s definitely grinding me down to breaking point. More days than not I break down crying in the arms of my SO because of it.

    I acutely sympathize with Jim’s predicament and his emotions, every one. Things like this are precisely why people feel like they can’t trust management to *any* degree – and why they feel like no one at the workplace (including HR) is on their side.

    1. I have RBF*

      Oh, gods, I feel sorry for you. That type of BS would drive me straight into bananaland.

      I wish you the best of luck in your job search. You need to get out of there before it screws up your mental and physical health.

    2. ThursdaysGeek*

      You are worth more than that, and it’s time to find the job that realizes your value.

    3. Gary Patterson’s Cat*

      Been there too, it rarely works out so start looking.
      I was in a similar situation with a bad boss trying to micromanage me to oblivion. She didn’t win, but I was laid off. Now they’re paying me for 3 months to not work!

    4. Well That's Fantastic*

      For all of the “fully remote work is going away!” articles out there, there still seem to be a whole lot of job postings out there calling for remote workers. Wishing you the best in finding somewhere great to get you out of your toxic workplace!

  25. Johannes Bols*

    Going from being on your own and working remotely 100% to having somebody over you who makes it mandatory to be in the office three days a week, working hours outside of other employees, unfortunately points to the new boss person disliking Jim. And using passive aggressive techniques to make Jim leave.
    This happened to me at the job I walked out of 11 years ago. I didn’t ever consider leaving until the day I returned from being told I’d done nothing but sit at my desk for two hours, when in fact I’d been swamped. Somebody went in a deleted my work. I returned to my desk and my hands were shaking to the point I could not use the keyboard. Two hours later, I was gone.
    It’s so easy to get comfortable in your job. I hope Jim understands that it’s when, and not if he’s pushed past his limits.
    I hope the situation is resolved and Jim is free of his boss and his boss’s disordered aspersions.

  26. Capt. Liam Shaw*

    Changing working hours is definitely a start searching type of thing. If my hours changed, it would really impact my life. I would be looking immediately.

  27. Gary Patterson’s Cat*

    Ugh! I’ve been there. Based on my experience of bringing it up to or with management I’d say DON’T do it! It didn’t matter if it was a bad boss, WFH, or workday hours, they’ve already made up their minds and they want you to “get with the program or get out.” Usually they think you will be scared into compliance, and will act shocked when you give notice.

  28. Anony776*

    Just wanted thank the OP for asking this question, and also Alison for answering this one. I am in a similar situation and have been struggling to find the right words to bring it up to my boss without risking my job. I think the wording here is perfect and with some tweaks, I think I will definitely be using what you have posted, so thank you.

  29. Heather*

    I’ve run into so many people like Prudence in letter 1! They have trash (that is what stained, threadbare onesies are) but it makes them feel too guilty to throw it away. So they want to give it to you— not because they really think you can use it, but because then it’ll be out of their own house. You can be firmer (ruder) once you realize she isn’t offering out of generosity or kindness. She wants a favor: “Please take this crap off my hands?”

  30. Erin*

    Re: networking shirts. The concept is cute, but it’s not going to resonate with seasoned people in various fields who attend networking events centered on those fields. Presumably, everyone already knows that the Teapot Coalition Networking Event will be attended by people in that industry, and they will dress appropriately for the function.

    However, you might gain some traction with university students who are attending job fairs hosted by the university. These are typically pretty casual, and a T-Shirt stating “my degree is in Teapot Ergonomics” might smooth out the process for some (not all) folks who are graduating and don’t know where to start with intros to the people working the various company booths at these events.

  31. Workfromhome*

    Job searching doesn’t mean that mean that you leave or that you can’t still at some point) ty to change things. Heck even if you are 100% happy today everyone should be job searching ots just a matter of how much effort you put into it. which lead s me to point 2.

    You can bring it up but two things are important before bringing it up.
    1. Historical observations. Even if its not the same type of thing how have the boss/s reacted when someone asks for a change, expresses a differing opinion etc in the past. If its always dismissed or people are punished for doing it in the past then you have the answer. its not perfect but past behavior often predicts future behavior. I even lean towards considering neutral and negative behavior the same. Unless you have seen real tangible past proof that asking can sometimes (doesnt have to be every time) result in positive results then consider it. If you have neen nothing but no results or negative results then just dont even bother.

    2. Timing -If you dont have much in the way of past evidence of success then you may want to wait until you are much further in a job search. You dont have to have an offer on the table but if you ask and they say no or even worse start acting poorly to your ask then you want to be at the stage of waiting for final interviews or have 2-3 real possibilities and not saying oh I guess i better start sending out resumes tomorrow.

  32. AnonNurse*

    When I had a special schedule than the other people I worked with (everyone was required to work at least 2 Mondays and 2 Fridays during every 6-week scheduling period) because my husband was taking a class on Monday nights, I worked 5-6 Fridays to make up for the Mondays I couldn’t work. I did it for almost 3 years, from the time I started that job, and my manager approved it.

    When a fellow staff member brought up that I wasn’t held to the same standard my manager brought that concern to me. To be honest, I was annoyed to even have the conversation because I think a good manager’s response to the complaining employee should have been “AnonNurse has a modified schedule due to a family need. To make up for not working 2 Mondays she regularly works extra Fridays, is a charge nurse, floats to multiple departments, is on multiple committees, represented our hospital at a national conference, and overall makes up for the need she has. It will end in less than a year and she will then be able to work Mondays again. Also, she does work Mondays during school breaks and times she doesn’t have to worry about picking her children up from extended day so she doesn’t avoid all Mondays all year long.” Instead, the manager came to me and told me I needed to start working Mondays. I reminded her of the reason I didn’t work Mondays and how I felt about the situation. She straight out asked me what my response would be if she stated that I had to work Mondays. I responded “if you told me you were no longer able to accommodate this need for me, I would tell you that I would be looking for another position.” She backed off immediately and said to keep working my previous schedule.

    I said all that to say this though, her bringing me the problem instead of having my back still resulted in me looking for another position. I have been in that “new” position for over five and a half years now and haven’t had any major issues with my schedule since that time. It’s definitely worth pushing back on things like this but at the same time, it might be giving him information that is important in viewing what the culture is going to be like moving forward and whether or not it’s time to just move on.

Comments are closed.