are you The Annoying Guy at work?

by Alison Green on February 7, 2012

There’s one in every office: the loudmouth, the grump, the interrupter… In fact, talk to anyone about their coworkers, and you’ll almost always uncover a litany of frustrations – often about habits that most of those coworkers don’t even realize they have. But have you ever wondered if you might be that annoying coworker?  After all, the office mate who’s The Annoying Guy generally doesn’t realize it.

Here are 10 warning signs that you might be pushing your coworkers to the limits of their sanity.

1. Do you dump last-minute work on people when you could have avoided it? There will always be projects that pop up at the last minute, but don’t be the manager or the coworker who sits on something and doesn’t assign it out until late in the game. You’ll come across as inconsiderate and disorganized, and it’ll be your name people are cursing when they’re working late to make that deadline.

2. Do you really like to talk, even when other people are on deadline or have something else to do? This one is hard to see in yourself, so think about how much talking you do in the average conversation compared to how much the other person does. Be alert for cues that your colleagues may be trying to extract themselves from the discussion, and remember that just because you happen to have time to talk, it doesn’t mean that others do.

3. Do you complain about people behind their backs rather than telling them your beefs directly? We’ve all had the frustrating feeling of discovering that a coworker is complaining to others about something we did but didn’t bother to come talk to us about it directly. When you talk to someone directly, not only do you act more fairly by giving them the chance to know about your complaint and to respond to it, but you may also learn new information that makes you see things in a different light.

4. Are you frequently negative? If you hate new practices, other people’s suggestions, and the guy down the hall, and especially if you’re not shy about making that known, you might be the office grump. Grumps sometimes think that they’re demonstrating their value by pointing out flaws all the time, but if you find fault in every suggestion, you’ll lose credibility, and eventually people will start finding ways to avoid your input altogether.

5. Do you bring your personal life into the office? If you’re frequently taking personal calls in earshot of others (especially if they involve yelling, swearing or crying), sharing details about the fight you had with your spouse last night, talking about your fertility issues, or complaining about your uncontrollable rash, you might be making people uncomfortable. While it’s fine to open up to your coworkers to a certain extent, remember that professional boundaries are different from social ones and err on the side of discretion.

6. Do you interrupt other people’s conversations? If you’re in the habit of answering questions that were addressed to other people, and if you don’t believe there’s any such thing as a private conversation at work, you might be the office interrupter. It can be really difficult to resist the impulse to interrupt once it’s become a habit, but try to work on retraining yourself to wait your turn and not to jump in people are talking privately.

7. Do you love to use the speakerphone? If you always play back your voicemail messages on speakerphone or, worse, have whole conversations on speakerphone, you can be confident that your coworkers are mentally cursing you. (Bonus points if these are personal calls you’re conducting within earshot of everyone!) Keep in mind that you’re not at home alone; you’re in the midst of coworkers who are trying to focus on their own work.

8. Do you feel like you know everything there is to know, and you’re not shy about showing it? If you find yourself always telling people a better way to do things and offering unsolicited opinions, you might be the office know-it-all. It’s great to have knowledge and share it, but if you come across as if you’ve done it all and can’t possibly learn anything new, you’ll alienate and annoy your colleagues. Try holding back and letting other people demonstrate their own knowledge.

9. Do you pull your weight? If your coworkers are working away, but you’re playing on Facebook or planning your wedding, chances are high that you’ve got a reputation as the office slacker. If you work less than others and find excuses for not being productive, it’s time to turn over a new leaf. Slacking off won’t just alienate your coworkers in the short-term; it will also ruin your reputation – and references and promotion potential – in the long-term.

10. Are you chronically defensive? If you bristle at the slightest hint that your work wasn’t perfect, your coworkers might end up spending more time trying to avoid you than talking to you because they don’t want to deal with your prickliness. As a result, you’ll end up finding that problems go unaddressed and you don’t get important feedback when you need it. If nothing else, try practicing this phrase: “I want to take some time to think about this, but I appreciate you telling me.”

If you recognize yourself in any of the above habits, you might just be the irritating coworker that your colleagues are complaining about. But don’t worry – there’s hope for a recovery!  Try a one-month moratorium on the behavior and see if any of your relationships improve.

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{ 37 comments }

{ 37 comments… read them below }

  1. Lindsay H.*

    Two other “That Guy”-types I love (read: get annoyed by):
    1. The one who perpetually shows up 1/2 late
    2. The one who feels the reason why others have a problem with her is because she’s overly awesome at what she does.

    1. Kobie*

      Lindsay I like your suggestions and I loved reading the entire list. Everyone at work shoud read the article and identify with at least two items ☺

  2. Cassie*

    I feel like I should make a couple of copies of this list and post it all around my office. I think I have (at least) one of every kind!

        1. Jamie*

          There used to be a site called annoying coworker (or something similar) where people would anonymously vent about their office mates.

          I never posted, but on a couple of occasions it made me feel better that other people out there were aggravated by the same things.

          The other day I was wishing for some kind of anonymous confessional site where I could could come clean about some of my own obnoxious stuff at work – but was way too lazy to look for one. I know they have site for serious stuff, but I really hate drama.

          1. Esra*

            The management in my office are guilty of just about infraction on AAM’s list of annoying traits, so that first site you mention sounds very cathartic.

          2. fposte*

            I just found –was that it?

            Interestingly, the second Google hit on “annoying coworker” was Alison. Well, not Alison herself, but her article at U.S. News.

              1. Esra*

                Omg that site: “you smell like Satan’s ashtray.”

                That site reminds me a bit of reading clientsfromhell.net. On the one hand, it’s hilarious, but on the other I’m just depressed at the sad reality.

  4. Diana*

    I think you left out “Are you gross?” I had no idea people were so annoyed, nay horrified, by nail clipping and coming in sick.

    What other things do people find gross? I can understand the reaction to teeth-flossing and lack of hand-washing, but is there more?

    1. Anonymous*

      I’m very sensitive to eating/drinking noises – chewing, slurping, lip-smacking – you name it, I can’t stand it.

    2. Anonymous*

      I never want to know when my coworker has anything that they should talk to their doctor about.

      1. Jamie*

        ITA – with the one exception of allergies. If the reason someone is stuffy with runny eyes is because of hay fever, I really appreciate knowing that they aren’t contagious.

        Actually, I also make an exception is the medical story is funny. I worked with a guy once who broke his leg doing laundry. He was wicked tall – maybe 6’4″ – 6’5″ and in a full leg cast and the tale of how he was disabled by laundry was hilarious.

        Also, if anyone at work broke their foot on a curb and wrote a side splittingly funny blog about it I would so read that (compassion and humor can co-exist)…unfortunately I need to go on the internet for that. :)

    3. Suz*

      I used to have a coworker who always blew her nose at the lunch table. Gross! And she didn’t wash her hands afterwards. Double gross!

      1. Evan the College Student*

        How about blowing my nose at my own desk; would that be a problem? My colds normally last about a full week; I wouldn’t want to miss that much work when I’m fully able to do the work.

        1. Jamie*

          Do it in the bathroom whenever possible. If you have an emergency and must blow your nose at your desk, make a showing about getting up to wash your hands immediately and don’t touch anything.

        2. Dan*

          It’s about spreading germs and giving other people your infection.

          If you’re coughing and sneezing, you shouldn’t be in the office because you’re a bio-hazzard.

          If your condition is more mild, wash your hands often, and definitely before you go into a meeting room or someone else’s office.

  6. ChristineH*

    LOL I’d probably be the Office Interrupter – when I see two or more people talking and I really need to get the attention of one of them, I’m never quite sure how to politely indicate as such, especially when it’s in an open space (as opposed to an office where I can just lightly knock on the door if open). No I don’t outright jump in, but I’m sure I look awkward nonetheless.

  7. I'm trying*

    I really have the tendency to be the know-it-all… I can’t stand hearing people talking about something that I know is incorrect and not correcting them. The first step is admitting the problem, right? Right?

    Seriously, I am aware of it and try to curb the instinct, but it is like a compulsion sometimes!

    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      One thought: Ask yourself each time how much it matters if they get the right information. Sometimes it really will — but other times, not so much.

      1. Anonymous*

        Ask yourself each time how much it matters if they get the right information

        Better yet: ask yourself how you can best use their decision to be ignorant.

    2. Emily*

      If you can reign the habit in to projects you’re actively involved with, you’ll become known as the awesome person who helped make this project top quality and you won’t be That Guy anymore. :)

    3. ChristineH*

      Hearing/Reading inaccurate information is a pet peeve of mine as well. I like the advice, Alison.

    4. fposte*

      Yeah, I’ve got that (tm Staples). And I think it’s easy to undersell how problematic it is to other people–most of the time it really is just disguised bragging, and I’ve found it’s easier to curb if I’m honest about that element. And the fact is it’s a considerable error to correct people unsolictedly, so I’m just making a mistake even as I’m claiming to correct one.

      Plus sometime I’m wrong anyway.

    5. Anonymous*

      This can be really difficult to curb. I spend all day curbing this compulsion (and, yes, for things that have absolutely no relevance at all, those are actually the things that I have to put the most effort into not jumping in to correct) and sometimes, especially at the end of the day, the “No, that’s wrong” instince just slips out. I’ve tried really hard to use “let me expand on that” with the correction because it hurts people’s feelings less apparently. (I personally prefer to be told I’m wrong but I’m a social idiot.) And I run thru the entire rant in my head or sit down and type an e-mail about it to an understanding friend and then I feel better and the person who is wrong can go about being wrong and not upset. I totally get what you are saying about it being a compulsion. I have to work so hard to stop myself. But it is worth it. People will think you are much nicer (even if it means you are mocking them in your head constantly) and listen to you more the few times you do step in to correct them on relevant things.

      1. Anonymous*

        The one that was the hardest for me to not correct was I had a coworker after every single meal when he was presenting he would shout about the evils of Tryptophan and how no one would get any work done if they ever ate turkey. So not relevant. So didn’t matter. But I really had to curb my urge to correct him.

  8. Anonymous*

    Honestly, I see a little bit of myself in some of these, but I can name every person in my office as having one of these traits! My office is only 18 people and we work in close proximity; trust me, we ALL get annoying!! It’s gotten so bad that they are actually going to remodel our open office concept and give people private spaces!

  9. Scott Woode*

    Reading through that list, I definitely recognize different pieces of myself, but I’m certainly the worst at interrupting. I’m sorry, but I don’t have all day to listen to you “um,” “uh,” and “ah” while you try to put together a coherent thought. Call me back when you know what you want to say. Until then, please don’t waste my time.

    And I think that Cruella and I should start a club for defensive perfectionists who are working on curbing half of that behavior (defensiveness, not perfectionism).

    *End Rant*

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