update: my friend is a bad employee

Remember the reader looking for ways to help her friend, who she suspected was a bad employee with a bad attitude? Here’s her update.

So I took your advice and the advice of a lot of your commentators and just tried to nudge toward him thinking about his office values. It wasn’t well received and I just resigned myself to hoping he would read your blog (which he does occasionally) and see himself in it. That probably won’t happen. But he still hasn’t been fired, so that’s an upside.

As it turns out, I think he might have realized that the environment he placed himself in just wasn’t made for his skill set. Last I heard, he is considering going back to grad school to get a masters in library science. While a library might be more fitting, I think some skills are necessary no matter the work setting. So maybe he’ll take a few lessons from what he’s learned on this job and transfer them.

On something a lot of commentators said, I would take issue with it not being a friend’s place to tell their friend they’re part of the problem in their work setting. I’ve worked with bad employees before and always wondered why no one close to them sat them down and explained they were part of the problem. There is a way to do it, and I think your advice was very helpful in framing my approach. But I think if more people helped their friends out in those situations, maybe you would get fewer letters from the coworkers of bad employees complaining about their awful attitudes and work habits.

{ 88 comments… read them below }

  1. Mike C.*

    The OP is absolutely correct. If I were screwing up, I would hope that a friend of mine would smack me around until I came to my senses.

    I wouldn’t feel great about it, but at least being aware of it means I could do something about it.

    1. A cita*

      Completely agree. It’s not always easy to take, especially in the moment, but to me, it’s an important part of being a real friend.

    2. Bea W*

      My thought exactly. I think a good friend not only cheers you on, but also clues you in when you’re screwing up. Sometimes when you hear it from a friend, you’re more likely to take notice and take it seriously. If your co-worker thinks you’re being a jerk, you might not care so much, but if your friend says you’re being a jerk, it might make you stop and think because their opinion means more to you personally.

      1. Anonymous*

        Before I make a stink about something, I always check in with a couple of friends to see ‘if it’s me’ and I’ve been told a couple of times ‘no it’s you’….

        You just have to make sure your friends feel comfortable enough to be honest with you. Some people only have ‘yes men’ so if everyone one around you agrees with you all the time, or you find that you only ‘like’ the people who agree with you then maybe it’s you..

        1. Jamie*

          This. I do the same thing, because I know I can overreact in some areas and I have one friend who, no matter what, will always say that my response is totally justified and I’m totally right and other person sucks….and that’s so not helpful.

          So I never ask her about stuff anymore.

          I have another friend who will absolutely tell me when it’s me – so I trust her when she says it’s not me.

          1. Jessica (the celt)*

            I have a friend who is as blunt as I am, so we pretty much lay everything on the table. When we’re wrong, we admit it outright, but we don’t brook stupidity from each other either. I appreciate having a friend like this more than anything.

        2. Katie G*

          I think a key point is that you’re soliciting input and acknowledging that you could be the problem.

          As some commenters below mentioned (and perhaps in the OPs situation), it can be a lot harder to provide a close friend with constructive criticism if they’re not open to receiving it.

          Of course, the latter type of people are probably the ones who need it the most…

    3. Cathi*

      I think part of the problem is that oftentimes the people who are receptive to feedback/criticism/tough love are not the people who need it. In my experience, the people who cause the biggest interpersonal problems are the ones least likely to react well to being told they’re a problem. So either they ARE being told and don’t believe/aren’t listening/viciously cutting the helpers out of their lives, or the people close to them are afraid of their reaction and stay mum.

      1. Evil*

        There you go. As the OP notes, this wasn’t well received. I can see still wanting to do it in the hope that long-term it did some good (and, frankly, so maybe you don’t hear job moaning about somebody whose job grief is deserved), but I think this kind of person means there’s often a chance that it’ll be taken out on the helpful friend.

        1. fposte*

          Oh, heavens, this was me–I left in the amuse-myself moniker from the open thread without realizing. For how long, I wonder?

      2. themmases*

        This is very true, but I think taking criticism well (or at least acting like you do) can be learned. I think many of us will default to either getting defensive or taking the criticism too personally at least some of the time.

        I still get this way about a board in my hospital whose job is pretty much to critique and ask questions about our work. Most responses are a mixed bag of clueless questions stemming from not understanding my work, and procedural stuff they are right about. Whether it’s annoying about the former category of questions or just being sensitive, I’ve embarrassed myself a few times responding too defensively to them and finally have just had to decide to sit on their questions for a couple of days before answering. Even if people don’t internalize taking criticism well per se, anyone can learn “do whatever you have to not to send an angry email at work,” for example, and the effect on others is the same. That breakthrough is probably different for everyone, but I’d think for a lot of people it comes through interaction with or advice from others.

    4. A Teacher*

      Dealing with this now, I have to go to our supervisor to deal with it because as her friend if I say something she takes it personal. She’s a “center of the drama” type of person, which I know and usually can deal with it but this time her screw ups are impacting my work. I’m not the type that likes to confront or approach people–hence why I never want to be in management–about their mistakes.

  2. De Minimis*

    I feel badly for the guy, it sounds like he just doesn’t get that he might be the problem and he could just keep trying to go back to school and try new fields only to find himself in the same situation. And I say that because I’ve been there….

    I guess at the very least, you can at least say you’ve tried to help.

  3. Emily*

    As a librarian, may I say “Oh, no!”? I hate it when people think of our profession as a dumping ground for the socially awkward or people who can’t hack it in other fields. What I do requires a huge amount of collaboration, sometimes with people who don’t report to me, which requires extra-hard work and persuasive skills. And without the balm of the big paycheck many lawyers get.

    1. MoniqueC*

      My first thought was “Nooooooooooooo” when I read that OP’s friend possibly wanted to get an MLS. Given the job outlook, I hope the OP’s friend decides to volunteer or get a job in a library before heading down the MLS path.

      1. Jamie*

        The only thing I know about that career path is what I’ve learned here, and I had the same reaction.

        I hope he reads through AAM first and sees how hard it is to get into that field.

      2. Lindsay*

        Yep. I regret getting an MLIS. The market is flooded with MLIS grads and there are hardly any jobs.

          1. Anita*

            Y’all. Is there an AAM equivalent for library jobs yet? My friend just told me her resume is 5 pages (she works in an academic library). When library jobs say “resume” do they mean CV? Why are no library websites actually helpful? Also, on a scale of 1-10 how badly would I be shooting myself in the foot if I shopped around an opinion piece about how ridiculous MLS programs are? Any advice for someone 1/3 way through the program (with funding, thank goodness)?

            1. Jamie*

              I can’t answer that, but AAM has a disproportionate amount of readers and members of the Linkedin group who are librarians. Which is so cool, because now whenever I’m in a library I always wonder…


                1. Jessica (the celt)*

                  +1 I just had a small assignment to recommend a website for potential managers, and I immediately thought, “I’m going to recommend AAM, because Alison is awesome and everyone, manager or not, should read her blog!” I’m hoping we get more librarian types who will recommend this invaluable resource!

                  I’m currently working toward an MLIS. I don’t want to work in a library necessarily, but a more niche area that the degree is helpful for.

              1. Anita*

                THANKS! This changes everything. Ugh, why can’t they SAY cv instead of resume? I’ve never made one before. To the drawing board…

            2. fposte*

              Have you looked at Hack Library School? I’m not link-posting with Alison away, but a Google will get you to it.

              1. Anita*

                That Hiring Libraries one is the best I’ve seen so far – I’ve found Hacklibschool rather trite and lacking on the specifics. My pet peeve is “learn how to program!” Like, really? Learn how to program what, exactly? Why can’t you provide a link to effective github profile? Do you even know that HTML is not programming?

                1. fposte*

                  I was thinking more on the opinion piece, though I confess I’m not much of a regular reader over there.

                2. anon*

                  I don’t find Hack Library School that useful either. Though I will say that it does sort of reflect my recentish library school experience– that generic “learn to program!!” mentality without getting much more specific. A programmer friend in my cohort thought that was pretty funny.

            3. Leina*

              Academic jobs generally require a CV, yes. For library jobs in academia I tend to use a sort of hybrid CV/resume document, but I don’t think 5 pages would raise red flags for a mid-career position (keep in mind that 1-2 pages will probably be presentations/publications/grants).

          1. Annette in Milwaukee*

            Molls! Are you coming to the Milwaukee AAM meetup next Wed, 5:30 at the Public Market?

            PS I looooooove the MKE library. I volunteered at the Tosa branch until I had to start working again.

            1. mollsbot*

              I’m so happy I went back to look at this post, I did not know about the meetup! I don’t think I have any plans, so I should be there! Woo hoo!

      3. Rebecca*

        Agreed! I remember reading in the original post, “He’s a total introvert and doesn’t like to be around people.” Doesn’t sound too promising for the majority of library work.

        1. ella*

          Yeah. I mean, he could be a shelver (minimal customer interaction) if he can manage his own time and workload and get stuff done without constant supervision, but good luck making a living off a shelver’s wages (which I am doing right now. Oof, library district, please call me about that circ clerk job…)


      4. Anoners*

        I got an MLIS (it’s actually called a Master of Information where I went, which sometimes makes me think I’m a super hero).

        Here’s the thing I tell everyone. If you are going to get this degree solely to be a public/academic librarian, rethink it. Those jobs are really hard to get (even more so in academia). HOWEVER, there are tons of jobs for MLISers if you’re okay with working outside of the big two. I’m in Canada, so the job climate is probably different, but there really are a ton of different ways to market yourself to potential employers. There’s lots of officey type jobs that need someone with strong information skills. Even jobs that don’t require a MLIS, you can still apply and market your education in a way that will be attractive. Most of my classmates had a really specific job in mind (like, I want to be a rare books librarian focusing on choc. teapots during the middle ages), which is great, but when you’re starting out you really got to work up to something like that.

        Anywhoo, I’m not trying to be preachy, and I know the job market in America is pretty bad, but just wanted to share my thoughts. (You can do it!.. maybe).

        1. Susie*

          I wish I’d gone to U of T just for that reason. I’ve found that my friends that did have had a much easier time marketing themselves into other fields because employers ask what a Master of Information degree is. When they see Master of Library and Information Science, a lot of them seem to stop at the word “Library” and get dismissive because they think they know what it means.

          1. JMegan*

            My U of T degree is called a Master of Information Studies (MISt), which I actually find to be worse than useless in terms of describing what it actually is. (Sorry, U of T!) I then have to go on to explain that it’s really a Library/Archives degree with a fancier title. :)

            FWIW, I have taken that degree out of the library world and into records management – so basically, I write policies about organizing the business records of the company I work for. And the people skills are an incredibly important part of the job – it’s a lot of work to convince people that it’s not “just filing,” and why they should take time out of their busy days to listen to me.

            I love it, but it’s definitely not a “sitting down at my desk not talking to anybody” kind of job!

      1. A Teacher*

        Amen to that. We had one teacher that said to her kids last year, “well I didn’t want to be a teacher but I couldn’t find a job so if you could just be nice we can be friends.” Lets just say it went downhill from there (desk flipping contests, row-row-row your boat sing alongs, races down the hall, etc…all while she was trying to teach)

      2. Jamie*

        Yep – IT is also one of those fall backs for people who can’t find work in their field but “are good with computers.”

        Always flattering to have your chosen vocation to be someone’s allegedly easy last resort.

        1. voluptuousfire*

          I’ve been told by a good friend and my dad I should start a business since I’ve been having trouble finding a job. I’ve asked them point blank “with what?” That answer usually dumbfounded them. To start your own business requires an actual idea in order to cater to the need for that idea. I don’t have that nor do I want to actually run any sort of business.

          Well-intentioned people, but clueless. I’ve also been told I should teach. :eyeroll:

          1. Jamie*

            Oh I love the start your own business advice.

            At least once every couple of months someone asks me why I don’t just go into business for myself. That’s not everyone’s goal. Sure, I’d charge more per hour but after overhead and my taxes…not such a bargain.

            But I always appreciate when people suggest ways I can work much harder for a lot less money doing something that will kill me with stress. So helpful.

            1. Cath@VWXYNot?*

              see also: “why don’t you just freelance?”

              Um, because everyone in my field is grant-funded, and grant writers aren’t eligible costs on the vast majority of grants? What are they going to pay me with, monopoly money?

    2. danr*

      The MLS or MLIS prepares you for more than libraries. But you do have to present yourself well in an out-of-the-box way. The quiet, mostly solo activities are found in the library publishers and database companies, not in the libraries.
      Your friend should go to a library and find the websites for the big databases. Exploring the careers offered there will show him what’s out there and what kind of skills are needed.

      1. fposte*

        We’ve got a ton of grads working in corporate, sciences, government, etc. It’s actually a field that can take you in a lot of different directions.

    3. Bea W*

      Yeh, I re-read the original post, and while I think whatever kind of law work he is doing is not his cup of tea, I’m not sure a library would be any better. If his issues stem from not liking or being interested in his current field, and library science is something he’s found he loves, then it might work. If he just has a bad attitude overall or isn’t well matched to his new field, the same horrible things will just keep repeating themselves.

      I wonder if he went into law school because he really wanted to do it, or for other reasons like how much money he thought he could make or due to familial pressure. Maybe he thought it was what he wanted, but when he got into the real world, it didn’t match his fantasy. So the result is he is unhappy and sabotaging his own success. I’ve met some people who made career path decisions based solely on how much money they could earn. It put them in jobs they were never interested in and even hated. When you spend 1/3 or more of your day doing something you hate, the end result is becoming bitter and pissy.

    4. Zed*

      I had the same thought. I am an academic librarian, and my entire job involves people. I work with students at the reference desk. I help community visitors with basic computer tasks. I teach classes. I maintain relationships with faculty in my departments and with staff in offices across campus. I collaborate with other librarians and library staff at my library and our counterparts at other campuses. I participate in state and national committees, which means working collaboratively with busy people from all over the country.

      And you know what? I work hard. I am salaried. I stay late if I need to, whether it’s to meet a deadline or to do instruction for an evening course. I take work home with me. I answer emails on Saturday and Sunday and on my days off. I travel and present at conferences. I read library literature on my commute (don’t worry, though–I take the train), and I have my own writing projects. Not exactly the job for someone with no drive.

      On top of all that, librarian jobs are incredibly scarce right now, and I don’t know ANYONE who needs more student loan debt. New MLIS grads are competing against established librarians for a small pool of jobs. An introvert with minimal work ethic and no library experience is just not going to do well–and if he isn’t prepared to move for his first librarian job, that reduces his chances even more.

      1. fposte*

        Public service announcement–do you know about the Public Service Loan Forgiveness program? It’s not getting as much attention in the library community as it ought, and it could mean a substantial break on your loan payments (eventually).

        1. Meredith*

          YES! It’s being promoted heavily by my library school (I work for a state university library school). The Federal Service Loan Forgiveness program should be checked out by everyone in public, government, non-profit, education, etc. I myself am participating, it it is wonderful to have an expiration date on my loans.

        2. Zed*

          Thanks, fposte! I am fortunate enough to have paid off three degrees worth of loans already, but loan forgiveness is something that everyone should know about.

    5. JessB*

      I agree, one thing my teachers stressed over and over again was good people skills and the ability to collaborate with colleagues were absolute necessities for librarians.

      I think there were a few people who were surprised by that, which I found surprising in itself.

    6. scw*

      Plus as a manager in a library we do not want/need any problem employees–they are twice as hard to get rid of and twice as hard to deal with as in the public sector. Plus, being a librarian is one of those jobs that people think they understand but rarely do. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and I have a great one, but when people say “oh, you work in a library, that must be SO much fun!” I roll my eyes–it is fun for me, because I enjoy working with people from every walk of life, I enjoy working a job where every day is a surprise, and find the variety keeps me moving. It is not, however, a relaxing job, or one where I get to spend a lot of time reading, or a quiet job.

      Personally, before anyone goes to get a MLIS, I think they need to have worked at least a little in the sort of library they want to work in. It will help them know if it is the right fit for them and will help them get a job!

      1. Anita*

        Current MLS student and page. Is there any way to include page experience on resumes and not have it sound terrible? I have two bullet points. That’s it.

        1. Meredith*

          I would only list page service if it’s recent/current or if it’s relevant to the work. That is, if you can use your work as a page to point to your experience in working with the public at a public library, and that’s where you’re applying, go for it. For example, I worked as a page in high school at a public library, but that experience was not listed on my CV that went to academic job applications once I graduated.

        2. Anne*

          If you helped out at circulation or helped run a children’s program, or what have you, that can work (I’ve worked in libraries where pages occasionally did those sorts of things although different libraries have different policies on that). I’m in public libraries, so that’s where I’m using examples from.

  4. Not So NewReader*

    “Hear me now and think about it later.”

    Sometimes people come back months/years later and say “OH. This is what you were trying to tell me.” At least he got upset. If you had NO reaction that would be the most concerning. That would mean what you just said flew right by him.

    I hope this less than stellar experience, OP, does not deter you from trying to help someone else at a later date. There are some awesome people out there who turn and say “thank you for having the courage to let me know.”

    It takes two people with guts to have the conversation. The truth teller has to have guts to say something that is not easy to listen to. And the listener has to have the guts to realize that the speaker is not assaulting him with words, but, rather sincerely trying to help.

    Sometimes I think my quality of life actually goes up in proportion to my willingness to listen to things that I don’t want to hear. But I need to hear those things so I can make adjustments or preparations. I watch the people around me and I see those that do not seek or do not consider the advice of others have a much harder time.
    (Notice I am not talking about taking the advice. I am talking about listening and considering. Everyone has their own unique response to a situation.)

    BTW. I very seldom tell a third party that I have mentioned something to a person. This could be why it appears to you that no one has said anything. If a person does not hear the advice then many times, I think, the advice giver just moves on.

  5. Joanne*

    This would have been more appropriate on the original post, but I didn’t think of it then!

    I have been the bad employee whose friend helped them out. It was embarrassing at the time, and I still look back on it with some mortification, but I have never forgotten the lesson. And we are still friends. It is so true that it can be hard to notice how we’re coming across or how we’re perpetuating the problem. I’m only sorry that your friend did not take your advice! I think you did the right thing, for the record.

  6. LizNYC*

    Great, another librarian who doesn’t want to interact with people, which, contrary to popular belief, is what librarians do — they suggest books, interact with the public, have to work with public officials and the like to secure funding. You don’t just get to sit and read all day (FWIW, I’m not a librarian, but used to work in a field that worked with them.)

    He might be better suited to googling “jobs for introverts” and considering one of those.

    1. Jamie*

      I have never met a librarian who wasn’t pleasant, lovely, and seemingly happy to help me – and I frequent libraries.

      Not saying there aren’t some crotchety ones out there, but in my experience their people skills are awesome.

      And in looking for the perfect job for introverts a lot of things in the IT field will come up, but if there is an IT job that doesn’t require OT at least a portion of the time then I haven’t heard of it.

      1. De Minimis*

        It seems like almost all of the jobs commonly thought of as being good for introverts usually are the opposite. Accounting is the same way.

      2. Bea W*

        There was a terribly crotchety librarian who worked the reference room at the main branch in my former town. One day she upset me so much that I was afraid to go back. It wasn’t just me. She was crotchety to everyone. Years of friendly knowledgeable librarian experiences were erased from my head by one insufferably miserable person. The OPs friend does not want to be *that* librarian.

        People who hate people should not be allowed to work in the reference room ever.

      3. ThursdaysGeek*

        All IT jobs I’ve ever run across also require a person to be able to talk to others. Communication and teamwork are pretty important skills for geeks.

    2. Tinker*

      I’m kind of dubious about things labeled as “jobs for introverts”. Also by filing certain attitudes and behaviors as “introverted” when, while the person may also be that, the salient issue is really more misanthropy.

      Introverts, particularly mature introverts, don’t necessarily hate people, have a disagreeable nature, or have poor social skills — it’s an orientation toward the social world that manifests in many different ways, some of which are not necessarily obvious.

      1. Kimmiejo*


        I was just going to say this. Introverts are perfectly capable of interacting with people in their careers.

        1. Zed*

          Good point. I am an introvert. That doesn’t mean that I am not good at helping people at the reference desk, but it does mean that I have to go shut myself in my office and recharge after a three or four hour reference desk shift.

  7. Aisling*

    I have and MLS and am a librarian myself, and librarianship is NOT the profession for people who don’t enjoy people! This profession is all about customer service and customer interaction, because without customers, no one is checking books out, no one is asking reference questions, etc. Catalogers work in an office setting without customer interaction, but you really have to want to be a cataloger – and those jobs are hard to find. Otherwise, managers have little customer interaction, but then he’d have to work longer hours, and he doesn’t sound like management material anyway. If the only reason he wants to pursue an MLS is that he doesn’t like people and maybe thinks he’ll work with books all day, please correct him. 90% of librarians work with customers for most of the day. Shelvers and circulation clerks work with books.

    1. scw*

      Some managers have less customer interaction–but in my system we are expected to be on the desk 50% of the time, and we get to deal with all the problem patrons. So managers need to have some of the best customer service skills around, so they can defuse angry patrons!

    2. holly*

      ya, maybe he should consider archivist. i don’t have to interact with people too much ;-) although archivists need to be extremely careful not to make mistakes in their work. researchers and history are depending on us. so….

      1. anon*

        Although archivists also need people skills, I’ve been told, because there can be reference and instruction work… also working with donors.

        My impression’s always been that it’s the people in cataloging and technical services who are less likely to need public-interaction skills.

      2. Meredith*

        Huh, you must be at a far end of the norm. Most of the many archivists I know must have good people skills to survive. They have to advocate for their positions, field reference questions from every type of researcher, work on team stuff internally within their organization, teach…

      3. DublinBore*

        I strongly disagree with your assessment of the archival field. There are too many introverts in it already. I think part of the whole reason that the archival field is so whack right now is that it has too many people who are so introverted that they can’t be good advocates, people who think hiding away in an archive is a great place to get away from interacting with people. There’s more at stake than the ability to interact with donors and do reference work–archives are shutting down and paying positions are going to volunteers because archivists can’t advocate for themselves and prove the need for their profession outside of a few researchers a month. The world needs more extroverted archivists who are good at donor relations, outreach, and advocating for their profession and their collections–not just to the public but to their institutions. Archivists are notoriously terrible at this–no wonder budgets are getting slashed and it’s getting harder and harder to find a full-time job with benefits!

        1. anon*

          Agree wholeheartedly! Didn’t mean to imply that reference and donor work were the only reason an archivist would need people skills– I just see those both as logical starting points for outreach and advocacy. I’m a liaison librarian and I love collaborating with our archivists/curators and helping to promote my library’s archival materials.

  8. JulieInOhio*

    And contrary to popular belief, librarians don’t get to sit around reading all day. “I got into it because I love books” is not the way to impress a library employer and just makes us think you have no clue what you’re getting into. (MLS, 1993. Go Hoosiers. And yes, as a library school assignment, I had to find out what the heck a Hoosier was.)

  9. Ann Furthermore*

    OP, you did the best you could, and good for you for caring about your friend enough to have an unpleasant conversation with him.

    Sometimes, people just don’t want advice. They want to talk about their problems, but the don’t really want to do anything about it. My sister is having some pretty serious problems with her husband, which we’ve talked about at length, but she keeps making excuses for him (or at least that’s my opinion). My mother-in-law, who also knows a bit about what’s going on, told me that when asked for advice, she’ll give it, but only once. Then if the person wants to take it, great, and if not, that’s their choice. If you keep trying to help someone who doesn’t really want to be helped, you’ll drive yourself nuts.

  10. Anonymous*

    I have a friend who is a terrible employee. We used to work together, which made it painfully embarassing for me to even be around him because his behavior was just so terrible. He’d be late all the time for everything for no reason, just because he didn’t like the job. He was fired eventually and complained about how unfair it was, etc. He’s also like this at his new job from what I gather. Just this week he was bragging that he got caught on his cell phone by his boss’s boss and wasn’t reprimanded so now he can use his phone all the time. He doesn’t care because his temp contract is ending in 2 weeks. I wonder why they’re not renwing it…

  11. holly*

    hmm.. depending on where he works in a library, and since you described him as an extreme introvert, i don’t know if it will be a better setting. you realize certain library jobs interact with patrons. like, a lot.

  12. Sandrine*

    Oh my, I totally hear you about the “helping a friend” and the “usually people who are most receptive to it need it the least” bits!

    I usually think of myself as receptive, and I realized it was still a shock when, one day, one of my friends told me something “negative” . But I figured, hey, I need to think about this, and I did realize that yeah, I had kinda screwed up, so I apologized and all was well.

    Problem ? Sometimes, people will assume that they can tell you everything and anything, and it feels like it becomes nitpicking. So then YOU answer back, sort of, in a very “let’s be diplomatic about this” kind of way… and of course the response isn’t quite as pretty as you imagined it could be.

    It’s not about work but I’m currently in a situation like that (talked about it in the Open Thrad) and quite frankly, I’m still shaking my head at it. So I won’t reply to my friend for now, because right now I don’t even know what she wants from me.

  13. Catherine*

    “He’s also a total introvert and really doesn’t enjoy people. He avoids his office at all costs. He is a horrible networker. Plus, he’s one of those people who thinks he’s the smartest person in the room. I’m not sure humility is one of his strengths, and I’m sure that shows in his office”.

    I am a librarian and supervisor. Introversion is common in the profession, fine, but he’s going to have to figure out how to compartmentalize it, because to succeed in librarianship, you MUST enjoy working with other people (internal colleages, certainly, but definitely with your library users).

  14. Kelly*

    My experience is that quality people usually don’t need to be told by their friends that they are the problem. I have a problem person in my office and no matter what happens, how it’s explained that she caused the problem – she always blames someone or something else – and never changes or improves.

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