update: I’m frustrated by my office’s constant Nerf gun battles by Alison Green on December 3, 2014 Remember the letter-writer who was frustrated by her office’s contant Nerf gun battles? Here’s the update. About a week or so after this got posted, I talked to to the other person who sat in my row to ask what she thought about setting up a Nerf Switzerland in our area. She was totally fine with that; she wasn’t quite as bothered by the Nerf-ing as I was, but she did find it somewhat annoying. I went to my boss and asked if it would be possible to set up such a thing. He denied my request, saying that the Nerf thing was a fad and that it would die out in time. He’s… kind of right. The battles are not so much all-out wars anymore; instead it’s an occasional, limited skirmish and it’s relegated to a couple of rows, none of which I sit in. But I also know it’s really just a matter of time before something else pops up. (Before this, it was scooters around the office. Before that it was mini-helicopters; those were around during my interview and were distracting ME during my second interview.) And based on this, I’m sure that it’ll be handled the same way; indulgence, amusement, and then ignoring it until it goes away. Wash, rinse, repeat. The comments about deciding whether or not this is a culture I want to be in have never been far from my mind; shortly after i took this job I realized it really wasn’t my cup of tea. But, with the market being what it is, having taken a year off of work to finish school, and a resume filled with short-term contract jobs, I felt like I really needed to stick with this one for a bit so I could have something with a little more staying power on my resume. The problem I have now is that while I am job hunting, I’m actually getting to a decent career place at this job; I’m getting some added responsibility, someone to manage, and I’m being consulted on a lot of things I wasn’t before, plus a raise which finally brings me into the pay range this job should be in. Not to mention that my chosen career path seems to be heading in a new direction which I’m not horribly fond of and really don’t want to delve into, so finding the “right” job has been much more difficult. So I’m taking my time finding a place that will be a job that I really do want, can do well, and has a culture that I fit in. I don’t want to jump too fast, that’s how I ended up here in the first place, but I am still casting about. If and when the next distraction-thing appears here, I’m going to try and tackle it earlier with management to see what we can do to keep it to a dull roar. Hopefully my next place will be Nerf-free! One day later, an update to this update came in: So in a follow-up to my follow-up, I just had to tell you the irony… Today I’m sitting at a coworker’s desk discussing Work Things, and all of a sudden, I have a Nerf dart in my side. Just… out of the blue. Look over, another coworker has a gun in his lap and is just idly playing with it. He apologized immediately and I informed him that I kind of have a Thing about the Nerf guns. The person I was talking to piped up, “Yeah. Basically, don’t aim those at her like, ever.” Not in a judging towards me way, just in a “please respect her boundaries” kind of way. At least SOMEONE here gets it! (too bad she’s not my direct supervisor…) You may also like:companies that say they have a "young vibe," do new grads really need to stick to one-page resumes, and morecompanies that say they have a "young vibe," coworker assumes someone will drive him to meetings, and morecompany is taking us to a musical mocking religion, custodian might be taking my food, and more { 131 comments }
jordanjay29* December 3, 2014 at 2:12 pm A Nerf war sounds like a fun thing to do after 5 o’clock. Not during the day in the middle of the office. Seriously, if I’m trying to work and someone’s even coughing, I get annoyed, much less shooting Nerf guns, running around and laughing. Scooters, mini-helicopters, all of these would be equally distracting. Is your employer running a workplace or a daycare?
Matthew Soffen* December 3, 2014 at 3:14 pm I worked with a group that had been together 15+ years.. EVERYONE had Nerf Cannons… And they were originally part of DEC (then BEA).
Vicki* December 20, 2014 at 4:47 pm Definitely a tech startup, or even just a development group inside an older tech company.
August* December 3, 2014 at 4:55 pm Looks like it is a tech start up. I work in tech as an engineer (not even a start up). This morning I saw a bunch of magnetic balls at my colleagues desk. I made bracelet and I was wearing it till now :-). He has a nerf gun too with which I have played before. I think it is just fun.
Ted Mosby* December 4, 2014 at 10:56 am That would be a hilarious twist on the letter. “Also, this is a day care, and these people are the children.” It would all at least make sense.
De(s)sert Duchess* December 3, 2014 at 2:18 pm To be honest, OP, it sounds like the positives of your job (in terms of career development) are starting to outweigh the negatives! I myself wouldn’t be very happy working in a Nerf war zone, but the fact that you were able to establish a “Nerf Switzerland” with your coworker, and that you were defended by yet another coworker (I’m assuming it was a different person?) is progress, and might work equally well as a strategy in dealing with the Next Big Annoyance.
Anon-y-mouse* December 4, 2014 at 10:14 am I think you misread the update – she said she WASN’T able to set up a Switzerland, because the boss denied it. Although it does sound like there are some good things about the OP’s job, the fact that management isn’t open to things like that make me question the whole environment.
sstabeler* December 6, 2014 at 12:08 pm she wasn’t able to establish an OFFICIAL Switzerland- enforced by management- but other employees started treating her as a NERF Switzerland. Functionally, it doesn’t matter either way, and may actaulyl be a better option- I’m betting the management didn’t want to impose something because thye didn’t want to ahve to write up/whatever employees for violating the NERF Switzerland when it would probably die awya soon anyway.
CyberCoder* December 3, 2014 at 2:34 pm Don’t you guys wish that you had a Nerf gun and started a random war in a slow boring day at work?
fposte* December 3, 2014 at 2:40 pm No; it would be the opening chapter in my personal workplace violence story.
mel* December 4, 2014 at 1:03 pm Ha! I could totally use a few of those foam bats. Would save me from slapping people in the face with latex gloves. “I DEMAND SATISFACTION!”
Kyrielle* December 3, 2014 at 2:53 pm We have Nerf in my office. I _loathe_ it. I have yet to be hit by one and likely won’t – my coworkers are aware that I don’t care for it. But it’s noisy, it’s unpleasant, and no, Nerf battles in the office are not my idea of fun. I don’t think I’d enjoy Nerf battles at a party, but at least at the party I would not be trying to get things DONE while crap flies about my head and Nerf guns make their little plastic snapping noises.
Bloodklot* July 14, 2015 at 4:19 pm No I agree with Kyrielle, there’s a place to play Nerf and a place not to. The office where you’re trying to work is NOT the place. If you want to blow off some steam and play with darts, do it in a place where it doesn’t interfere with anyone else who doesn’t want to participate. No one should be forced into some lame culture that borderlines on cliche. Ooooh look we get to play darts in the office… how edgy!
Diet Coke Addict* December 3, 2014 at 3:07 pm No, I would rather put my head in a bag of used dental floss.
AnotherAlison* December 3, 2014 at 3:22 pm NO!!! First, what is a slow, boring day at work? Second, my 10 year old is constantly shooting SOMETHING (nerf, airsoft, etc) around my house, and that drives me nuts. I definitely wouldn’t want it at work.
Elizabeth West* December 3, 2014 at 3:33 pm If EVERYONE were bored, yeah. But around here, there is always someone trying to work while the rest of us are up to shenanigans. Sometimes it’s me. So we do try to keep it down.
neverjaunty* December 3, 2014 at 4:36 pm At home, my kids and I have giant Nerf wars with those super powered Nerf guns that take multiple D batteries. At work, though, I act like an adult.
AnotherAlison* December 3, 2014 at 5:05 pm Who picks up the darts? That’s really my biggest annoyance with these at my home. You’ll think the house is clean, and then you see a dart peaking out of the fireplace, or up on the mantle. (If I was the OP at work, I might just confiscate any that fall into my workspace. . .darts? what darts?)
Another IT Manager* December 3, 2014 at 8:05 pm I do that with my cousin when he shoots at me after holiday dinners. One year I ransomed darts for … not antagonizing his brother, I think. He doesn’t shoot at me that much anymore.
OQ - Original Questioner* December 4, 2014 at 12:41 pm They’re just kind of… all over. Some people stop and pick them up, but usually it’s only if they need more ammo for the next skirmish. Not a day goes by that i don’t step on one or almost step on one.
Clever Name* December 4, 2014 at 2:20 pm I would put them in a locked drawer. Make them buy more if they want more.
Formerly Bee* December 3, 2014 at 6:25 pm It could be fun after work, but I’d rather not get hit with anything while working.
AvonLady Barksdale* December 3, 2014 at 7:00 pm If it’s that slow and boring, I’d rather run errands, take a long lunch, or, better yet, go home.
tt* December 3, 2014 at 3:16 pm Nope. No NERF guns for me. Ever. Take it to a conference room where only the willing participants need to be involved and leave me and everyone else alone.
Squirrel!* December 3, 2014 at 7:36 pm I love all the people who clearly didn’t get the joke re: the tagline of the brand…
Anon-y-mouse* December 4, 2014 at 10:16 am Well, at least it’s Nerf and not those stupid round rubber pellets my brother used to shoot at me when we were younger. Those things hurt like a b***h.
Hlyssande* December 4, 2014 at 11:29 am Nerf, yes. But not in the office where people are trying to actually work, thanks. If there was a designated space and time that people could meet to have a hilarious nerf battle and still not disturb people who don’t want to participate, that would be fine. But it’s not okay if people can’t opt out and are being interrupted/distracted when they want to be working. (also, tagline: heh)
Lily in NYC* December 3, 2014 at 2:22 pm I can see why this could be annoying (well, I admit I’d probably enjoy nerf wars) – but something that stood out to me in the update was that you were distracted during your interview by remote controlled helicopters. To me, that was a BIG clue about the culture and you shouldn’t have accepted the job if you thought that kind of thing would be tiresome and distracting. You entered an ingrained culture and it’s up to you to adjust, not them. But I hope you find something soon! I worked at a place where I didn’t fit in with the very straight-laced culture and it was painful.
manybellsdown* December 3, 2014 at 2:41 pm I have a huge phobia of helicopters. Even a little remote controlled one would be a huuuuge NOPE for me.
Paige Turner* December 3, 2014 at 2:48 pm I’m going to tell my boyfriend when e gets home that I’m not the only one freaked out by helicopters!
Elizabeth West* December 3, 2014 at 3:35 pm I’m fine with the tiny one–I would play with it, but the big ones kind of freak me out a little. You know, big whirling choppy propellers. That can chop stuff. Right. Off. 0_0
illini02* December 3, 2014 at 2:47 pm I completely agree. It seems that the OP knew EXACTLY the type of company she was walking into, so its a bit harder for me to get behind getting annoyed by this later. Perfect example. My current company does beer fridays where we get to drink in the afternoon. We also have a lounge with video games in there. Its made pretty during interviews clear that on Friday afternoons people drink and hang out to play video games. If someone accepted the job and then got mad that we were being too loud and unprofessional, I’d have a hard time feeling much sympathy. It does sound like things are working out though, so thats good!
Jaimie* December 3, 2014 at 5:49 pm I don’t think that seeing helicoptors on an interview equates to having an understanding of the office culture….
Lily in NYC* December 4, 2014 at 8:53 am Seriously? If people were fooling around and playing with toys during your interview you wouldn’t have an inkling that maybe the culture is the type that likes to play games during work?
Jaimie* December 4, 2014 at 10:59 am Maybe. But maybe not. One of my co-workers recently brought in his daughter’s bike so that he could pass it to a different co-worker to have for a younger child. Those of us who are on the shorter side (me included) attempted to try it out, and hilarity ensued. But that happened once. I mean, be observant on interviews. Ask tons of questions (including “hey, what is going on outside this room seems hilarious right now. does that happen often?”). But don’t rush to sweeping judgements. Personally, I maybe would have asked about it. But I wouldn’t assume that because people were fooling around in the area of a conference room once, that I would be subjected to nerf wars all around me (which would personally drive me crazy).
Dan* December 5, 2014 at 6:21 pm I see your point, but it’s not really relevant in this case. It sounds like she accepted the job with no questions about the shinanigans, then came in and is unhappy with the culture and wants to change it to fit her preference. :-/
neverjaunty* December 3, 2014 at 6:02 pm Do you regularly spill drinks on your co-workers? Do you insist that your co-workers drink whether they want to or not? Do you spike their orange juice or load up video games on their machines when they’re trying to answer email? I assume not, which is the difference between office culture (which is what you have) and being immature, boundary-challenged jerks (which is what OP is dealing with). The Nerf fights are not the issue, they’re a symptom.
Squirrel!* December 3, 2014 at 7:37 pm What does your first paragraph have to do with anything? None of those things happened to the OP, why the hyperbole? It isn’t necessary to disagree with anyone.
Woodward* December 3, 2014 at 5:51 pm I noticed this too! Wondering “why were you surprised with the Nerf when there was a helicopter during the interview?”
OQ - Original Questioner* December 4, 2014 at 12:45 pm i wrote it off at the time. One, i really needed a job. My unemployment benefits were ending, and i knew what cash i had in reserve wouldn’t last much longer. Also, it was a kind of long and late interview day, and by that point we were after “working hours.” The conference room i was in had floor-to-ceiling glass, but it looked out on an area of the office that, up to that point, was unused. So i assumed that the folks playing with said helicopters were doing it off the clock and didn’t realize there was an interview going on. The person who was interviewing me noticed the guys and after he was finished with me (I still had one more person to talk to) he went out and made the helicopter boys go away. But when the christmas party (a week after i was hired) was held at the office so we could play beer pong, i knew i’d made a mistake :/
Nanc* December 3, 2014 at 2:23 pm Maybe you could take the bull by the horns (or some other cliche) and start The Next Big [annoying at the office] Thing. Roomba races? At least the floors will be super clean!
Mike* December 3, 2014 at 3:52 pm After that you have Roomba mounted nerf cannons! The arms race begins!
Kyrielle* December 3, 2014 at 5:09 pm But starting the arms race toward some geeky thing you can live with is an awesome idea. Assuming you can think of things that won’t bother you, but they’d enjoy, you just have to wait until this one is starting to taper and then introduce yours and hope….
Artemesia* December 3, 2014 at 2:28 pm Apparently this place doesn’t grow up until someone loses an eye to a helicopter and there is an enormous lawsuit.
hayling* December 3, 2014 at 4:14 pm Or they hit a ceiling sprinkler with a projectile and cause thousands of dollars in damage.
CyberCoder* December 3, 2014 at 2:34 pm Don’t you guys wish that you had a Nerf gun and started a random war in a slow boring day at work?
jordanjay29* December 3, 2014 at 6:56 pm Maybe it’s boring for me, but someone else may be having a marathon day when they need to get crap done. Out of respect for them, it’s probably not a good idea. I’d be much more inclined to break out the Nerf guns after work or during a party.
A Jane* December 3, 2014 at 2:37 pm So glad to hear the update on this one! Still a little annoying that your boss didn’t like the Switzerland idea, but good to hear that your coworker gets why it’s annoying.
Adonday Veeah* December 3, 2014 at 2:38 pm Pray that Silly String never catches on. I’m still cleaning that stuff out of odd corners…
Bend & Snap* December 3, 2014 at 2:39 pm Posts like this make me so grateful I got out of the startup game.
Michele* December 3, 2014 at 2:50 pm Ditto. I lasted a year at the one I was at. It was the most frustrating place to work!
neverjaunty* December 3, 2014 at 6:08 pm The stories I hear from friends in the IT world make me sad I never went into sexual harassment/employee law specializing in representing people working for startups. I’d be rich by now.
Mister Pickle* December 3, 2014 at 2:44 pm I’m really surprised that the boss just turned down the “Nerf Switzerland” idea. That’s got to be the #1 good-spirited request to “please count me out, but y’all enjoy!” that I’ve ever heard of. Not that the OP asked me, but: if you’re building up a good career at this place, I’d run with it. This Nerf stuff, irritating though it might be, is really small potatoes compared to getting your career off to a good start, which – trust me on this – is not something that happens everywhere, to everyone, all the time.
Jeanne* December 3, 2014 at 3:52 pm +1. Lots of places don’t offer this good a start. Taking time to build your career and look for the right job instead of just any job might be worth a few Nerf guns.
Mike* December 3, 2014 at 3:53 pm Probably worried about them setting up a nerf bank with nerf chocolate
Wanna-Alp* December 4, 2014 at 11:33 am So soo wish that this site had a upvote/recommend button! Seriously, that may be the way to go: Print out a Swiss flag, custom-annotated to your preference. While it’s December and there are these sorts of things in the shops, get a large stack of gold-wrapped chocolate coins. Put the flag and coins on your and your co-worker’s desks, and declare Nerf Switzerland. It keeps it light (everyone should get the joke), and people who respect the airspace get chocolate, including you two and other non-nerfies! Win all round!
NutellaNutterson* December 3, 2014 at 4:45 pm I’m bummed for the OP that they went to their manager with this, because I’m betting they wouldn’t have taken steps if OP and neighbor just put it in place. I mean, the original shenanigans surely aren’t getting advance departmental approval! And how tone-deaf would the manager have to be to actively stop a no-fire zone?
MsM* December 3, 2014 at 5:25 pm Yeah, that strikes me as a definite “better to ask forgiveness than permission” situation. Might even still be possible to take that tack (“I gave it time like you suggested, but I’m still finding myself in the line of fire, so…”).
no-fire* December 4, 2014 at 12:10 pm I agree – next time something like this comes up, OP should go straight to whatever solution works for her. Don’t bother involving management because they aren’t going to endorse your idea! If they are okay with nerf wars, they will have no grounds to object to a Switzerland, or whatever the next fad and fad-solution is. The beauty of the Switzerland solution is that it’s still in the spirit of these “fun” activities. Going to management isn’t, so skip that part.
neverjaunty* December 3, 2014 at 6:04 pm I disagree; the problem is not the Nerf guns, it’s the inability of either management or most of OP’s co-workers to respect boundaries and listen to OP. How is her workplace going to react if she runs into misconduct much more serious than a clueless dork with a Nerf gun?
Z* December 4, 2014 at 12:16 pm I can see the boss’ reasoning. If you create a ‘Nerf Switzerland’ then it’s just going to draw more attention to the Nerf guns and they’ll get a second wind. Letting it die out naturally increases the chances that people won’t be bothering OP with them, which seems to be what happened.
projectile coffee* December 3, 2014 at 2:49 pm picturing a nerf dart stuck to the side of her temple… not amuse. +1 to the coworker who stood up for her.
Virginian* December 3, 2014 at 2:52 pm I wish more places like that needed librarians. That sounds like a fun office, but I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
AB* December 3, 2014 at 3:37 pm All the librarians I know already do this stuff. But… most of the librarians I know are also in the youth/teen/children departments. So, dressing up like book characters, doing weird science experiments, having board game tournaments, and nerf gun wars are in their job descriptions.
A* December 3, 2014 at 4:29 pm I’m a children’s librarian and definitely no NERF-ing allowed here. Killjoys.
Ali* December 3, 2014 at 3:32 pm I work in a place with a similar culture, and at least I work from home, but from what I know of the people who are in the office and some of their complaints, it can be tough. The in-office employees are basically part frat boy/part professional. I mean…they have a keg and beer on hand. One day my boss on the opposite side of the country was meeting with me on video and you could hear hooting and hollering in the background because they were having some sort of game day. My boss said he wasn’t signed up for anything, but one of my coworkers had to finish his shift at home that day because all the office noise was too distracting. There’s also been stories of people drinking in the office while hanging out to watch TV. Like it’s a college party. I’m trying to job search too, especially because of things like lack of attention to my performance review, no raises and so forth while flag football games are made mandatory (!) and of utmost priority. People leave early to go and then go to happy hour afterwards. Bleh.
Ali* December 3, 2014 at 5:24 pm Yeah over the summer the people at the office on the other side of the country had a flag football game and attendance was mandatory. I was one of the people called upon to work late because these people were out West and I was out East, so because I wasn’t a part of that group, I had to go in. I also had to fill in for a “booze cruise” some of the office employees out east were going on. I tried to tell my boss I couldn’t take that shift, but he refused to let up saying the people in the office “needed” to be able to go on the cruise. (It was one of those NYC dinner cruises, but everyone was calling it booze cruise, and there was even more partying after.) The guys I work with are nice and all, but sometimes their constant focus on partying gets old, especially when they’re making others cover their shifts to do it.
jordanjay29* December 3, 2014 at 6:59 pm No kidding, I’d be fired on the spot if that were the case. No thank you.
Lily in NYC* December 3, 2014 at 4:26 pm hahaha, I read your first sentence wrong and thought you said you worked in a similar culture but worked from home. I was picturing you having epic nerf battles in your living room all by yourself.
Evin* December 3, 2014 at 3:39 pm I think it kind of goes along with what the OP mentioned about office culture and it being a good fit. I worked for a company that had Nerf wars and it seemed to break up the monotony. Then again, they only took place on Friday afternoons. If it was ongoing, I think it would get really old. Even so, sometimes a job is a good fit or it isn’t. Are the wars in this specific department only? If so and since it seems the job does have its positives, maybe the OP could eventually move into a new, Nerf-free department.
Hlyssande* December 4, 2014 at 11:39 am See, I could get behind that! In a single designated time and a designated place, so if anyone doesn’t want to participate, they can go to a conference room or otherwise stay out of the line of fire to get work done.
OQ - Original Questioner* December 4, 2014 at 12:49 pm It does seem to be one or two departments more than any of the others… the thing is, one of those departments is one i work really closely with. We’re also a start up, so moving departments (even if i could; with my job speciality it’s not really an option) doesn’t really move me anywhere. i wouldn’t mind, really, if it was a set time/date, it would make it easier to avoid! But it does seem a bit more random, though calming down.
Jamie* December 3, 2014 at 3:41 pm I just hope all these nerfy workplaces have rules about beverages needing spill proof containers. Because it’s all fun and games until a Diet Coke shorts out a power strip. No, you can’t get on the internet until IT removed the 127.0.0.1 loop…and if you keep asking it’s just going to make them madder…
Jamie* December 3, 2014 at 6:08 pm It was hypothetical as none of my users would be so careless…but even in my hypothetical scenarios I’m always IT. :)
Amy* December 3, 2014 at 3:58 pm Just curious — is this office a Man’s World? A woman working with a bunch of guys who want to do “guy” things like shooting each other, would not do herself any favors making a fuss over it. I grew up with all brothers & male cousins, no other girls. This was my first reaction to reading this – a man’s world.
De (Germany)* December 3, 2014 at 4:07 pm As someone who works in a “man’s world” and had to listen to 4 “haha women can’t drive haha” jokes today: that is not a good thing and it’s okay to work towards changing it so everyone is comfortable.
Amy* December 3, 2014 at 7:20 pm My answer to that is to ask them why insurance companies charge men more for auto insurance. It usually puts an end to that stuff.
De (Germany)* December 4, 2014 at 2:10 am And where I am that would be “making a fuss over it” which I would not be doing myself any favors with.
UK HR Bod* December 5, 2014 at 11:14 am Also, not so easy for them to do in Europe now (discrimination by gender – really).
Jean* December 4, 2014 at 9:09 am Feel free to tell your coworkers about my being a woman who has successfully handled manual transmission for the last 37 years! No need to add that I only acquired this skill in the first place because my parents have never owned anything other than stickshift vehicles. (Ha.) I’m not that unusual in having this skill but it’s fun being able to refute the tired old jokes about women drivers.
Anon-y-mouse* December 4, 2014 at 10:21 am Y’know, it’s funny. Of the half dozen or so people I know who can drive a manual, only one of them is a man. I wonder if driving a stick shift is really a “manly” thing, or if it’s just that women don’t usually feel the need to brag about it…
Zillah* December 3, 2014 at 4:44 pm This attitude is what will always inspire me to make a fuss over that stuff. Doing otherwise is just playing into a culture that puts far too much social pressure on women and infantilizes men. It’s sick.
ExceptionToTheRule* December 3, 2014 at 5:52 pm Seriously. I used the lead the nerf wars & scooter races (wait ’til your co-workers combine those into a real life version of the video game Joust) and am most definitely not a guy.
Jolu* December 3, 2014 at 4:05 pm I worked for a tech company and our office was a lot like this. Lots of nerf gun battles, beer Fridays, and happy hours. When it was someone’s birthday it wasn’t surprising if their office or cubicle got filled with balloons and their desk supplies wrapped in tin foil. One person even had a tiki hut constructed over their cubicle. That was just the office culture. I worked in HR though, so people rarely took a shot at me.
Persephone Mulberry* December 3, 2014 at 11:52 pm If someone turned my cube into a tiki hut, I’d never let them take it down.
starchy* December 3, 2014 at 4:13 pm I agree with Lily in NYC on her comments. What you see in an hour or so should be treated as a common occurrence, that it’s part of the office culture. I think people sometimes take their preferences a bit too far in our Western, please-everyone culture. Your co-workers are under no obligation to tip-toe around you. It’s a nice and considerate thing for them to do so but in that office, you don’t have the right to not-being-annoyed by the nerfing if this type of thing is part of the company culture. Just think about it for a moment – a C-level staff member started all this and the orders start pouring in. On top of that, your boss denied your request for the “Neutral Switzerland” and even encouraged you to participate. That should give you an indication that they have no problem with the current work habits. It sounds like they’re ok meaning the work is being done and done well enough and he has no problem with the goofing off. You may think people are not being productive but you’re not the boss – you’re not necessarily privy to that info. I personally don’t think you want to be singled out from this. Having said that though, I agree with another poster when they said that this is small potatoes. I would encourage you to find ways to actually enjoy the goofing off from your co-workers – not in a bad or mean way, but just enjoy the company. You don’t have to participate in the games but you could enjoy that you have co-workers that are this easy-going. Do what Alison suggested – put up a white flag – it conveys the message but at the same time, shows that you’re not being pushy. Or use flesh-coloured earplugs. Most of us work in very dry environments where we need to tip toe around everyone and everything. If you’re sticking around, it’s much better to enjoy something about it than to get constantly annoyed over it.
neverjaunty* December 3, 2014 at 6:06 pm “tiptoe”? OP has asked that these people not actually shoot her with Nerf darts.
fposte* December 3, 2014 at 6:26 pm Agreed, but I also take the point–this is a place that’s very clear about valuing this culture, and if it’s a culture you’re uncomfortable with, it’s not likely to be successful or popular to try to change the culture to suit you. I don’t think you can say across the board that it’s never okay for people to shoot Nerf darts–this is more like trying to figure out how to negotiate being a dog-phobe in an office that loves dogs and has many of them in the office.
Formerly Bee* December 3, 2014 at 6:32 pm I don’t know if LW’s asking anyone to tip-toe around them, though. Just not throw/shoot things at them.
OQ - Original Questioner* December 4, 2014 at 12:54 pm i’m not, i just don’t want to get shot in the face :/ And it’s not like i’m anti-social… i talk to people, we joke, we prattle about dumb things, all that stuff. i do what i can to participate in the social stuff at the office; hard because i commute via mass-transit and it takes over two hours to get to my office from my house. But i come to what i can (and what i’m comfortable with, which means no paintballing even if the place was not far from my house), and am social around the office.
Lamb* December 4, 2014 at 10:13 am It’s perfectly reasonable to not want to be shot in the head, which is what these coworkers do on purpose.
CLT* December 3, 2014 at 4:41 pm Since you are going to be there for a bit yet, why not take the opportunity that is presenting itself to be more playful? This doesn’t mean you have to buy a Nerf gun, but try to relax just a bit, share humor that is more in your comfort zone, hang a Swiss flag. When the next Nerf dart enters your airspace, check your annoyance, then find a way to make a joke of it. Use the dart to create a voodoo doll or Nerf dart soldier to line your cubicle. When the noise starts, think, Everyone else is having a break, maybe I should too… then get up and get yourself a snack or take a short walk.
NutellaNutterson* December 3, 2014 at 4:48 pm “Use the dart to create a voodoo doll or Nerf dart soldier to line your cubicle” Tis the season! Nerf ornaments, Nerf menorah, Nerf gingerbread house! Disable the darts so they can’t be reclaimed. I know *some* people buy their darts in bulk (and I remember this conversation on the original thread) but if people start losing their darts in your cube, they might be motivated to aim elsewhere.
jordanjay29* December 3, 2014 at 7:06 pm “Use the dart to create a voodoo doll or Nerf dart soldier to line your cubicle” I was going to suggest thumbtacking Nerf darts to the cubicle wall as a warning against other Nerf darts. Maybe some red nail polish for dramatic flair.
Mimmy* December 3, 2014 at 6:04 pm I hadn’t read this post when it was originally published so I just skimmed through the letter and comments. And I thought my department at a previous job was bad! My office mate and his buddies were always goofing around and it drove me nuts….but at least it didn’t involve projectiles!!! OP – Glad things have naturally quieted down for now. I do hope you find someplace that is a better culture fit for you. I’m with you–I like things to be on the tame side (but don’t mind occasional socializing).
Matt* December 4, 2014 at 1:56 am On reading this, I can’t stop to wonder if this is actually a real office with real adult employees supposed to work there … honestly, the whole description sounds a lot like my elementary school :)
Z* December 4, 2014 at 12:11 pm Can I work there? Mini helicopters and everyone is still employed? Sign me up.
mel* December 4, 2014 at 1:13 pm On one hand, I hate being interrupted in the middle of a thing. On the other hand, random shenanigans can really turn a dull day around! I had a manager who brought his RC racecar to work and all he did that day was drive it around. Another day we had a helium tank, and so we kept tying helium balloons to a chicken wing until it soared up into space! Hahaha I couldn’t stop laughing that day.
Lamb* December 4, 2014 at 2:23 pm For all of you who think OP should have seen the Nerf wars coming from the helicopter toy at the interview, there is a big difference between “people play with noisy toys which is distracting” and “people shoot projectiles aimed at eachother’s heads and will do so even if their target is hard at work, unarmed, or explicitly not in to the game”. It would be unfair to noisy toy enthusiasts to assume that they all fail to comprehend that basic childhood rule of “Don’t hit people in the head”. Or that they lack the impulse control to hold off on shooting someone who appears to be concentrating. Or that they lack the theory of mind to understand that while they might love a nerf fight someone else might not enjoy it. Seriously, three year olds have theory of mind.
Computer Guy Eli* January 3, 2015 at 11:10 pm Seems to be a lot of fuddyduddies here. They’re just nerf guns bros. No need to get so riled up over it.
Guest* March 19, 2016 at 5:48 pm There’s also no need to get riled up over people having different opinions than you
Klot* April 8, 2015 at 7:01 pm I feel the same way. I own a Nerf gun at home and it’s even modded. I’m over it. I never brought it to work and never felt the need to… because I work at my job. It’s pretty sad when you see 30+ year olds shooting darts at each other like children. It’s like their life is so sad at home that they look forward to this every day. But guess what, it’s distracting and managers and HR should notice how counterproductive it is. The argument could be said that its a release for stress but not for people who’s personal space is physically being violated. I even had one clueless guy use my desk as a shield. Please just grow up. Find a hobby.
Klot* April 8, 2015 at 9:14 pm I’ve been secretly collecting the darts and throwing them out lol. They’re too cheap to go buy more. I’ve thrown out more than 25 darts so far LOL!
Johnny d* May 1, 2015 at 8:56 pm Klot…..you do know you could actually be fired for cause for throwing out another employees darts?
Klot* May 22, 2015 at 10:31 pm nope, once it lands on my desk, it’s my property. I now have over 120 darts. lol
Guest* March 19, 2016 at 5:56 pm It’s kind of funny to me how a lot of people seem to be strongly opinionated about “fun-at-work” topics. I’ve noticed on the original ask to this post, and several similar posts that the asker tends to get some decently harsh responses accusing them of being “un-fun” or whatever. I guess someone just don’t like when others think of work as, well, work. There’s a time and a place for everything.