coworker’s drama-filled personal calls, interviewer refused to interview me, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Coworker has drama-filled calls with his girlfriend 10 times a day

I share an office with two people, Sam and Wakeen. Wakeen takes multiple phone calls from his girlfriend each and every day. She normally calls at least 10 times a day, and she will sometimes call as often as every 15 minutes. The volume of the phone calls alone would be bothersome, but the phone conversations always seem to be drama-filled, and frankly are embarrassing to be forced to listen to. Wakeen does not have a cell phone, so these calls are going to his desk extension. I thought I might be off base in being so annoyed by this, so I checked with my other office mate, Sam, and he is just as annoyed as I am. Not only are the constant phone conversations awkward and embarrassing to overhear, it really breaks our concentration and is hindering our productivity during an extremely busy period for both of us.

I know people will suggest wearing headphones. I do, and it’s gotten to the point if I don’t already have my headphones on, I will scramble to put them on and start some music the instant I hear Wakeen’s phone ringing. Sam is unable to work while listening to music; I did suggest listening to white noise. That said, we really would like him to stop talking to his girlfriend all the time, but we can’t seem to come up with a good way to ask him to stop accepting phone conversations from her. Ideally, we would like to avoid further awkwardness and hurt feelings because Wakeen does a significant amount of work for both of us, often on very tight deadlines, and we don’t want to jeopardize a good working relationship. How can we ask him to stop the phone calls while preserving our working relationship? If he says “I can’t” or makes some excuse as to why he “has” to accept her calls, thoughts on what we can say?

Be direct! “Wakeen, it’s hard to concentrate when you’re on personal calls so frequently during the day. Could you take them outside of our office?”

If he says he can’t, then say, “It’s at the point where it’s disrupting our ability to work, so we do need you to come up with a solution.” If you want, you can add, “Sorry, I know this kind of thing is a pain when you’re sharing space with people” — but still hold firm.

Keep in mind that you’re clearly in the right here — he’s disrupting your shared work space multiple times a day, and it’s reasonable to ask him to stop.

2. I was offered a job — if someone else falls through

I have been going through the rigorous interview process with a major healthcare company. I am more than qualified for the position, without being considered overqualified. I filled out the e-application, completed the online assessments, then a few weeks later completed a telephone pre-qualification interview, which led to a telephone interview. About a week later, I was called and advised that I was selected for a face-to-face interview with the hiring manager.

From the impressions I got, from each step, I aced it all, and was expecting the formal offer. I received a call today saying that they were going to offer me the position, but that the positions for the training class had already been fill prior to my interview with the hiring manager?! They even sent the official offer by email, and they are proceeding with the background check as well as the drug test, and said that if someone rejects the offer or does not pass the background check or the drug test, I may be called to start the training, which is set to start on April 27, or May 1. I was not advised if I am first alternate or anything else; all I know is that they may give me a call the Friday before the training class is set to commence. Their letter said: “I am pleased to confirm ___ has extended to you a contingent offer as a backup for the position of ___ . In the event that one or more of the individuals with standard offers are unable to participate in the training class for this position, you will receive a more detailed offer letter containing additional materials.”

This has left me with the worst feeling I have ever felt trying to land a job, as I am not feeling the elation of landing the position, nor do I have the realization that I need to look elsewhere. This feeling of being left in the lurch is really unsettling, and do not know why they would continue to conduct interviews when they knew that they already had their choices for the next training class. I am going through all sorts of emotions. Should I call the talent advisor for clarification, just let things play out, or should I move on? I have so far resisted the temptation to call, fearing that emotions would put an end to any chances I have whatsoever.

You’re taking all of it more personally than you should — including earlier in the process when you were sure that you would get the job (which can never, ever be sure of, no matter how qualified you are or well your interviews go).

They’re actually being very straightforward with you about the situation; you may or may not get a real job offer in the next few weeks. They’re saying that you’re a back-up (which many people are, just usually without realizing it) and that there’s a chance it will come through and a chance that it won’t.

I’d assume that it won’t happen come through so that you’re not counting on it. Continue your job search, and then if they do call you and make you a real offer, you can decide at that point whether you want to accept or not.

3. I’m waiting on serious medical test results and worried I seem off my game at work

I recently started a new job (about 5 months ago), and everything’s been going great. The problem is I went to the doctor for a medical issue earlier this week, and it turns out it may be something very serious. I had to get more tests done and am currently waiting for the results. Obviously, my mind simply isn’t in the game at work. I’m having trouble focusing enough just to go through my emails let alone do any real work.

My boss and coworkers have been at a conference for the past week, but they get back tomorrow and I really don’t know how to handle this. I don’t want to take any sick days right now because I may really need those sick days down the line. I also don’t want to say anything to anyone about the health issue because I don’t know anything yet. However, I’m pretty sure they’ll be able to tell something’s wrong (aside from the fact that I’m distracted and emotional, I’m also in quite a bit of pain and haven’t slept well for days). I should get my results back in a week, but until then I’m not really sure how to focus at work or what to say to coworkers/ my boss if they ask what’s wrong. I’d really appreciate any advice.

If you feel comfortable telling your boss what’s going on, I would. I think you’ll feel better feeling she they can tell something is wrong but don’t know what it is. I’d say this: “I feel like I should let you know that I got some potentially scary medical news this week. I’m waiting for more test results in order to know what’s going on, but I’m obviously distracted by this and haven’t been sleeping well, and I wanted to just let you know what’s going on in case you notice me seeming off in the next week. I’ll let you know for sure once I know something, but wanted to just tell you that this is going on.”

For coworkers, I think it would be fine to just say you’ve been feeling under the weather or that you’re dealing with some personal stress, but leave it at that if you’d prefer not to get more into it with them.

I hope you get good news in those test results! Come back and let us know if you think of it.

4. Can I still get severance if my company canceled my job elimination but I’ve already made plans to leave?

After working at this company for five years, I found out two months ago that my position was being dissolved and that I would be losing my job. I began to apply for jobs quickly, and within the past week have lined up a job to start a week after my final day.

I found out today that my current position has been extended indefinitely and they want to know if I would like to stay on. My concern is, can I still receive a severance package since up until today I thought I was losing my job and have another lined up? The other two girls who were losing there jobs with me received their severance packages and have already left the company.

Have you already signed a severance contract? If so, the answer to your question is probably within that contract; some severance agreements cancel the severance if the company offers you further work. But if you haven’t signed anything yet, then it’s really up to your company. No law requires companies to offer severance, so it’s entirely up to them whether or not they do.

One piece of leverage you may have is the question of when your last day is. For example, if they want you to stay another month and that start date would be okay with your new job, you could agree to do that in exchange for still getting your severance.

5. My interviewer refused to interview me

I arrived about 5 minutes early for an interview and walked to the front desk. The woman sitting there looked at me, but I didn’t hear her say anything. She was talking to someone, so I waited patiently for her to acknowledge me. After about a minute, she looked at me again. I smiled, introduced myself, and said I was there for the interview. She said she would be right with me. I thanked her, and sat down in the waiting room.

After she came out to talk to me, she looked at my resume and then refused to interview me. She said I had interrupted her unnecessarily. I was confused, but I apologized and explained I was simply letting her know I had arrived for my interview. She said that she acknowledged me when I first walked up to her desk and I had interrupted her again. I explained I had not heard her say anything and apologized again. She still refused to interview me. I thanked her for consideration for the job, and left.

I felt really terrible about that experience afterward. It seemed to be a simple misunderstanding to me, but that is just my point of view. Did I really do something worth being refused an interview? What can I do to avoid events like this?

Based on what you have here, you behaved perfectly appropriately and she behaved like a loon. There’s not much that you can do to avoid loons in life; they pop up randomly, and all you can really do is recognize them when you see them.

{ 196 comments… read them below }

  1. Dan*

    #1

    IMHO, the “you don’t have a job” offer is a little weird. You can’t plan around it, so why bother?

    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      Well, because of transparency. People so often complain that the hiring process is shrouded in mystery and obfuscation. Here is a company telling someone exactly where things stand.

      1. A Dispatcher*

        It could also be that they often do end up hiring people placed on this contingency list because candidates drop out and/or don’t pass their checks (or aren’t willing to submit themselves to drug or background testing).

        When they do the interviews for my job they very clearly state that you may not get hired this round, or even the next, but that certainly doesn’t mean you won’t eventually be reached. Only about 50% of us end up making it past our probationary period, but because of the hiring and staffing restrictions in place due to being a government agency, they can only hire a certain number of people at a time. So, if we need to fill 10 spots, we can only hire 10 people, despite knowing ~5 won’t make it and we’ll have to hire and train all over again.

        1. Kimberlee, Esq.*

          This is what I’m thinking too. Companies rarely take the time to set up a backup list, proceed with the costs of background checks and drug tests, and contact applicants about it all for jobs that don’t have a decent amount of attrition. It’s not a done deal by any means, but if you know that half the people you hire won’t make it, it does make sense not to re-start from square one.

    2. snuck*

      It’s really unusual, I am wondering if it’s because they are B list candidates (sorry OP, but it might not be because of your skillset, it might be because you came later like they said and are just the ‘next list to go’ on a generally constant recruiting cycle) … and also keeping their bases open “Look we want you, but we don’t know when, it might be with no notice mkay?” but that doesn’t help if you have to give notice etc at your job and wait it out. If they offer you and it’s last minute and you say “Well not for a fortnight while I work out my notice” they can say “Sorry” and move on… which is fair enough on their part… they’ve warned you…

      I’d keep looking, anyone who hires like this isn’t planning to meet your needs for the long haul if they are expecting you to wait around indefinitely for a maybe, but I’d also keep this on the back burner for if you are really wanting it… it’s not a sign of a super wonderful company to fight to get into to me, but it might just be their processes are really strict and they know they’ll eliminate and then be on short timeframes and this is how they keep another list ready to go within that.

      1. jennie*

        I don’t think it’s that unusual in some industries where there are set start/training dates. We do this all the time, although we don’t make an official, written (contingency) offer. We just verbally let candidates know the class is full but they’re next on the list if someone drops out, otherwise we’ll start them in the next class (usually the next month). Generally we end up using at least one back-up, and sometimes several in each class. It doesn’t mean they’re less qualified or B-list candidates, it’s usually just a timing issue.

    3. fposte*

      I don’t think I can find it, but I thought we heard a month or two ago from somebody who hired like this–that they have a certain number of intake slots and that it’s common for somebody to bail before the training starts. I don’t think it’s the same as telling the runner-up for a single position; it’s more like telling somebody they’re first on the waitlist for tickets for an event.

      1. mee too*

        Yes this,

        We hire like this and it does often happen that people who are hired don’t make it to the final state for a lot of reasons. They don’t pass a back ground check, something happens like a family emergency, they take another job. As Allison said this is very common you just don’t usually know.

        This company is trying to be strait forward with you. You probably did just come later in the interview process. If they said this it is likely to be true. They like you enough to want to let you know where things stand. And because it is more likely that they will fill the training class if you know what is going on than if they called out of the blue and said start tomorrow….. First on the wait list for tickets is a perfect metaphor.

        Continue your job search, you never know what will happen with any job. If they call great, if not ask for clarification about where you stand going forward. Then you can evaluate future offers or steps as they come up.

        Please don’t feel rejected, but don’t hold your breath for them either.

  2. Artemesia*

    #5’s experience is one of those moments when I regret that there is no hell; so many bad people in the world. Sorry the OP ran into one.

        1. Artemesia*

          Absolutely nobody knows for sure — it may in fact be turtles all the way down — but I can’t muster enough amphibian faith to really hope people like that interviewer will get theirs.

          1. Ask a Manager* Post author

            The question of hell totally aside, I always remind myself that happy people with strong relationships with others don’t behave that way. So you can look at it as “it must suck to be her.”

            1. Tau*

              Yeah, it seems to me that people like that are often punished through having to be themselves. I mean, those of us who encounter them only have to put up with them for some time – they have to live in their own brain 24/7 and I can’t imagine it’s a pleasant place in there.

        2. Mallory Janis Ian*

          Right, I don’t really believe in it, but it gives me comfort to suspend my disbelief for certain behaviors. I’ve been known to say, “[They’re] on a greased pole straight to hell” with only the slightest hint of irony :-)

    1. James M*

      Here’s a little philosophical quandary for you: is an unfounded belief in a thing’s existence more or less irrational than the unfounded belief in a thing’s nonexistence?

      Also, I wouldn’t characterize the interviewer in #5 as “bad”. “Self-important”, “pretentious”, and “excessively rude” come to mind. AAM rightly called her a “loon”… that’s as far as the labeling needs to go.

      1. Artemesia*

        I assume you are joking, but of course belief in the non-existence of something for which there is no evidence makes more sense than belief in its existence. There are an infinite number of non-existent possibilities after all.

        1. YaH*

          I have absolutely no desire to convince you to change your beliefs because it’s none of my business, but this is where Pascal’s Wager comes in to play. It never changed my personal beliefs, but it was an interesting argument to consider.

          1. Three Thousand*

            Among other things, Pascal ‘s Wager totally fails to take into account the consequences of belief in the wrong deity, whether any existing deity values rational analysis over self-interested professions of belief, and so on.

            1. Cath in Canada*

              All Pascal’s Wager really tells you is the value of the item being wagered. It doesn’t say anything at all about the relative probabilities of the two possible outcomes.

          2. neverjaunty*

            “Interesting” in the same way that medieval superstitions are interesting – historically fascinating in the people-actually-believed-this sense.

        1. Jmkenrick*

          This gave me a chuckle.

          And really – had the comment said something that implied they did believe in hell, I’m not sure we’d be having this discussion.

  3. Panda Bandit*

    #5 – You wouldn’t have wanted to work there anyway and if you had gotten hired you would have been fired quickly for a really stupid reason. Consider it a bullet dodged.

    1. DaBlonde*

      Exactly this!
      This person has a whole list of unwritten rules and you would have run afoul of them sooner or later.
      Be thankful that she didn’t waste more of your time and look for a better place to work.

      1. OP2*

        What would Irk me is that me and other people have hearing problems. I can hear just fine when it’s clear and focused at me, but if someone is talking in the other direction or faintly I cannot hear them.
        The OP could have been deaf or had a hearing problem and been super pee’d off if someone refused to interview them because she didn’t hear them. If someone only glanced at someone they’d easily miss something discreet like a hearing aid.
        If that ever happened to me i’d say “Sorry, I didn’t hear you in the first instance. I have some problems with my hearing when someone isn’t directing the sound straight at me, which meant I missed what you had said.
        I am sorry that I interrupted you a second time without knowing, but i’d really like to interview with you.
        What if the OP had had hearing problems and the women still refused to interview OP after she said she failed to hear her. Would that have been discriminatory?

        1. SJP*

          Sorry this should have been my usual username of SJP as I wrote in the other day and didn’t realise I hadn’t changed it! Soz

        2. wesgerrr*

          I came here to say exactly this. My hearing is fine (technically) but I have pretty severe APD (Auditory Processing Disorder) which means I have a big delay between hearing things and my brain translating them into meaning. I would have easily have offended this loon as well. Seems like she could have run afoul of some discrimination thinga-ma-jig. But OP5 certainly dodged a bullet here anyways!

          1. Helen of What*

            I didn’t know APD was a thing! I often find myself asking someone to repeat themselves and then realizing I heard them correctly the first time before they can respond. (“What? Oh…”) My mom dragged me for hearing tests when I was little because of it. I doubt I have APD since it’s an intermittent issue for me, but it’s interesting to learn about.

            1. AW*

              Me too! I don’t think I have it but it’s interesting to read what’s actually happening when I need to have someone repeat something only to realize what they said before they can repeat it.

    2. Bunny*

      This!

      LW 5, you dodged a bullet and then some. The interviewer sounds either like someone on a massive power trip, or with a questionable grip on reality, or possibly both. Working under them would have been far worse – actually, I’m imagining just the interview itself being a nightmare of unspoken tests and weird judgements.

    3. Ops Analyst*

      I’m not even sure how she could have even done things differently. If there was no acknowledgement other than a glance, how was she supposed to know that they even knew she was there, or who she was? This could easily have gone the other way if she didn’t introduce herself and they could have said they didn’t know she’d arrived because she didn’t touch base when she got there.

      I really wonder if there was something else going on. Perhaps the hiring manager messed up and asked the wrong person to come in, or she hadn’t read her resume fully, or who knows what, and then did this in order to save face. I guess that seems just as loony.

      1. DMented Kitty*

        “The details of your incompetence do not interest me.
        (dismissive wave) That’s all…”

    4. stellanor*

      I once got five minutes into an interview before the person ended it. It was my third interview for the position. I had been told they were going to make a decision on me by that day but at the last minute they called and said the CEO wanted to interview me. So I went in that week and the CEO sits down with me and asks if I have a copy of my resume because she hasn’t looked at it. So I hand her my resume and start trying to tell her about my relevant experience.

      She asked if I had startup experience. I said no. She said “Well, we’re looking for someone with startup experience,” and looked at me expectantly.

      I reiterated that I did not have startup experience and tried to point out some experience I felt was similar, and she repeated, “We’re looking for someone with startup experience.”

      Apparently that meant the interview was over. I wouldn’t have even had to go in if she’d bothered to read my resume, and apparently she had not shared her hiring requirements with the people doing any of the previous interviews.

      Joke’s on her, I’m now making twice what they were offering at a company that does not identify as a “startup” despite being 8+ years old.

  4. KarenT*

    #1 Ugh I feel your pain! I had a similar situation with a co-worker. She was always on the phone with her boyfriend, sometimes fighting sometimes not. We would ask her to cut back, take the calls elsewhere etc. She’d be good for a few days and we’d end up back where we’d started. I eventually got a new desk.

    1. Advances, None Miraculous*

      On one hand, I used to love watching Jerry Springer. On the other, I had control over switching it off.

      Dignity aside, how the hell do these people manage to get any productive work done? It’d be interesting to know whether OP1 had any dependencies on their coworker’s output – might be a decent opening to get management involved, although it’s a bit discouraging that someone can be taking personal phone calls every 15 minutes and not have been pulled up on it so far.

    2. ExceptionToTheRule*

      I had this situation with an office manager who was my immediate supervisor. Constant drama filled phone calls with her grown children, their spouses, and other random family members that went on for hours. She’d would walk in the door in the phone. When we hired a new person full time and my work space got moved into the copy room. She retired recently and there’s so much more work getting done in the office and so much less drama.

    3. OP1*

      As I mentioned down thread, Wakeen does manage to get his work done, and he is able to complete his work on time for both me and Sam. That’s not the problem; the problem is that his phone calls prevent me and Sam from getting our work done. Sam stays late and I end up working evenings and weekends. Our workloads are heavy, and we need to be as productive as we can while in the office.

      Thanks for the sympathy. It really is very awkward. I hope that Wakeen is able to use the conversation as a way to tell his girlfriend to stop calling without being blamed for it himself.

      If it doesn’t stop after a conversation, we plan to bring it to management as the next step, but we really didn’t want to start there. I’ve been on the receiving end of a heavy handed management reaction to a coworker’s vague complaints about me (that they never once mentioned to me) so I know how awful it feels, and I’m not going to put someone else through that

      1. Ask a Manager* Post author

        Please keep us posted — it’s nice to hear from someone with this kind of problem who’s committed to actually saying something, which so often isn’t the case!

        1. Rosie O'Grady*

          I wonder what advice you would give someone whose supervisor has long, non-work related personal conversations revolving around himself on a daily basis. He traps coworkers and other people into conversations and goes on and on. There is almost no workload in this workplace, and the employee cannot wear headphones (strictly verboten). I guess the obvious answer is “ignore him,” but it’s getting more difficult…

      2. Ops Analyst*

        You gotta wonder though how much work Wakeen would be getting done if he wasn’t taking phone calls every 15 minutes. He quite possibly might be available to free up some of the heavy workload you and Sam have.

          1. EvilQueenRegina*

            This. And when my co-worker was sorting out her dad’s house move last year, it was as bad as the OP describes and as she had everyone call her work phone, which was on a hunt group, not only were we all getting her work calls diverted through to us but also even some of her personal calls came to us too. It got annoying.

          2. Kyrielle*

            To be fair, depending on his role, work calls may be pretty rare. I get maybe 1-3 a week; most of what I do is from email, IM, people walking over, and assignment tracking software. And when I do get a call, a little box pops up on my screen telling me who/what number is calling and I can shove it over to VM or put my current call on hold to answer or hang up on my current call to answer.

            Wakeen may be in a situation where inbound phone calls (um, work-related ones, that is) just aren’t a big deal.

  5. Ella*

    Best of luck, OP #3! I hope your tests come back with a good outcome.

    OP #5 –bullet dodged. I don’t think you’d want to work for them anyway. I wouldn’t!

  6. Ann Furthermore*

    #3: I agree with Alison here — give your boss some background on what’s happening, so she doesn’t think you’re just slacking off. And best of luck! I hope you get good news very soon.

    #5: I would have handled this the exact same way, except I would have prefaced my thanks for the consideration with, “OK! Clearly, you’re batshit crazy,” before being able to stop myself. I have zero threshold for crap like that. Consider yourself lucky that you found this out before investing any more time in the process.

        1. afiendishthingy*

          Seriously, this woman probably did OP a kindness by letting her know! You definitely don’t want to work for her!

      1. Kyrielle*

        …I’d be seriously tempted by those, especially with the “Thanks for letting me know!” idea underneath.

  7. Nobody*

    #2 – This is actually pretty common for some jobs at my company. They want a training class with, say, 12 people, but there’s a chance that some could fall through (e.g., back out of the offer, fail the background check or drug test), so they make sure they have at least, say, 15 qualified candidates before they start the class. They want backups because otherwise they would either have to delay the class for everyone else or have the new person miss the first few weeks of class. Do think about whether you will accept the position if you get a real offer, because if someone drops out the day before the class starts, they might need your decision very quickly (maybe with less than a day to consider).

    Alison’s right — don’t be insulted or take it personally. Try looking at it this way: would you prefer to know in advance that you’re an alternate, or just get a call out of the blue with an offer that you have to accept or reject by the end of the day? (That actually happened to a friend of mine at another company where they didn’t tell him he was an alternate.)

    1. AW*

      They want backups because otherwise they would either have to delay the class for everyone else or have the new person miss the first few weeks of class.

      Interesting. There’s probably other cases where hiring someone would be time sensitive.

  8. Substance D*

    #3: I realize that not everyone is easy-going about using drugs for this kind of thing, but if you’re having serious and debilitating anxiety issues while awaiting your test results – which it certainly sounds like you are – you might want to call your doctor and tell them about it, and ask them to prescribe something to help you deal with it.

    (You also mention that you’re in pain? Does the doctor know about this? I have my own personal issues with how some doctors are reluctant to dispense pain medication … to be blunt: if you are not obtaining adequate service from your doctor, I urge you to seek another doctor).

    Hang in there.

    1. OP #3*

      Yeah, my doctor had prescribed things for anxiety and pain, but I couldn’t really take either at work, the one made me too loopy and the other just made me sleepy. OTC pain meds no longer work much for me because of having to take them for a longstanding separate issue, and I only use them very sparingly for fear of what the consequences of long term use.

      1. Lamb*

        I’m sorry about your health issues and I hope getting answers and treatment goes the best way for you (since from your description it sounds like its definitely something and the tests are to determine what).
        Have you talked to your doctor about getting medications you can use during work? Because there may be other options than the ones you were initially prescribed; there may be something weaker, or maybe one you got is less likely to have sideeffects- but you’re one of the people who does get the loopiness or sleepiness, so they might as well try another option for you and see if that goes better.
        Basically, your doctor was willing to prescribe you medicine to decrease your pain and anxiety, so he or she wants to treat those symptoms, and, unless you tell the doctor otherwise, thinks that he or she has done so.

      2. Substance D*

        You may have already tried this, but if not: can you take less of the drug, and perhaps find a dose that will allow you to function without anxiety or “loonies”? Ie, cutting a pill in half.

        And if that doesn’t work, I’m with Lamb about getting with your doctor and asking about alternatives that will allow you to function at work. There are a number of drugs out there for this kind of thing – sometimes finding the right drug at the right dose can take some time and experimentation.

      3. nona*

        If you have a chance to ask for a lower dose or different medication soon, that might be worth trying.

        IME I am stoned on a lot of pain medication but functional on Tramadol.

      4. Dr. Johnny Fever*

        At the risk of offering a controversial solution – if you live in an MMJ state, CBD products provide a good deal of pain and anxiety relief without the loopiness factor or any psychoactive effects. It could be a good choice for daytime relief while needing to function.

  9. Seal*

    #5 – As others have posted, consider yourself lucky to have dodged a bullet. I have never understood interviewers who think it’s OK to be rude, condescending, or inconsiderate to interviewees. When I was an undergraduate I had an interview for a part-time job in one of the campus libraries. I was given explicit instructions to meet my interviewer at a specific service desk. So I showed up a few minutes early for my interview, only to find the service desk closed and shuttered. There was a locked door next to the service desk marked “staff only”, but when I knocked no one answered. I assumed that since I was early and in the right place I should just wait until the interviewer showed up (this was well before the advent of the cell phone and there wasn’t a pay phone in the vicinity). After about 10 minutes, the staff door opened and the woman who was supposed to interview me poked her head out. She then proceeded to berate me for being late and said she wouldn’t hire me because puncuality was important for this particular job. When I told her I had gotten there early and knocked on the door, she said they never answered the door when the service desk was closed because it was always patrons complaining. To this day I can’t figure out what I could have done differently, beyond trying to pick the lock on the staff only door.

    1. Something Professional*

      Maybe that was part of the screening process. I think many libraries want staff who are also accomplished cat burglars.

      1. Three Thousand*

        That’s what I’m wondering. Did she actually have a scenario for how this was supposed to play out?

        1. Seal*

          The whole thing was very odd. I eventually got a job in a different campus library and continued working in libraries after I graduated – first as a staff member and now as a librarian and department head. Over the years I’ve interviewed hundreds of people for full and part-time jobs. I’ve always made a point of giving interviewees very specific directions as to where and when to meet – particularly when the interview will be conducted in a staff-only area – and make sure I’m prepared for the interview early so I don’t miss a candidate’s arrival. But I’ve also had colleagues who treat interviewees for jobs in their departments like the woman in the OP’s post; they seem to be under the impression it’s a good way to weed out candidates. Not surprisingly, those departments tend to to be poor performers with low morale and high turnover.

          As for the woman who rejected me for being “late”, I later found out she was widely regarded as a loon herself. Even so, I felt terrible about the experience for years afterwards – I definitely sympathize with the OP!

            1. Nom d'pixels*

              I remember that a couple of the librarians where I went to grad school were on total power kicks. They seemed to think that it was their job to get in the way of people using the library. Back in the infancy of the internet, to do literature searches required massive, complicated reference books that would direct you to the necessary scientific journal. There were signs up telling us not to put them away after use. I guess they were being put away out of order. One of the librarians went on a rant about how we were always using those books and leaving them stacked everywhere and that she just wasn’t going to put them away anymore until we stopped using them.

              1. BettyD*

                The ranting seems loony, but the “not putting them away” thing is also frequently used in libraries as a method of counting reference book use, since reference books generally don’t get checked out and thus don’t generate their own usage statistics. We always put a marked cart out for those, though, so it don’t seem so much like “leaving a mess.”

    2. No name, no state*

      I had an interview once where I walked in and the interviewer said something to the effect of how he had changed his mind about doing the interview. I started to walk out and I don’t remember what happened next but it may have been something to the effect of “just kidding.” I think it was a test to see if I would push back. I didn’t get the job but I’m glad. Thankfully I was currently employed (still am, at the same place, happily) and thought to myself, “you know what? I don’t need you.”

  10. Something Professional*

    OP #3 — If you are at all comfortable with your manager, I agree with Alison that talking to him/her is a good idea. I have dealt with a serious health condition in the workplace, and I have always found that my supervisors have been accommodating and compassionate once I have clued them into what is going on. You don’t have to give a ton of detail if you don’t want to, but IME it’s better to share the basics up front than have to explain what’s going on after the fact. Best wishes… I’ll keep my fingers crossed that everything is okay!

    1. Jessa*

      Yes, it’s much nicer to know that there’s a reason for a change in work habits, personality or whatever, than to think you hired the wrong person. Obviously I wouldn’t spread it around, but the actual supervisor? I think would want to know.

  11. A Dispatcher*

    #5 – I feel like there has to be missing details here. Like obnoxious finger drumming, snapping, waving, yelling out “HEY YOU – OVER HERE!!!” or something equally ridiculous until the OP was acknowledged. Or maybe the resume had hate speech on it, or maybe…. gosh, I give up trying to think of a way that her behavior can in any way be construed as other than ridiculous.

    Maybe they had already filled the position, got some information from OP from a colleague that led them to not want to hire or some other legitimate reason for not wanting to interview, but the way this was handled is just beyond the pale. Not judge a bullet dodged, this is atomic bomb level dodging.

    1. A Dispatcher*

      *Not just a bullet — Apparently I was too worked up on OP’s behalf to bother proofreading.

    2. Rebecca*

      I totally agree. Seriously, even if the OP had run into the office, screaming “I’M HERE INTERVIEW ME”, she could have just said “I’m sorry, but the position has been filled. Thank you for coming, and we’ll keep your resume on hand in case another position opens up”, and just leave it at that. There was no need for such hostility.

      1. esra*

        Please note, job applicants, when you run into the office screaming: “I’M HERE INTERVIEW ME,” it works even better if you also flail your arms like a muppet.

        1. Rose*

          I’m pretty sure many of my work problems could be enhanced by me flailing my arms like Finn from “Adventure Time”, tbh.

    3. Ops Analyst*

      I wonder of OP absentmindedly made an “impatient face” while waiting. The woman is a loon regardless, but it would be an explanation I suppose.

  12. snuck*

    #1 – Wakeen might actually not mind the conversation, he might be well and truly sick of the calls too, and to be put in a position of telling his girlfriend to knock it off might thrill him. To bits.

    Or you could ask Wakeen “Hey Wakeen, you seem to have a lot of personal calls that seem stressful, it’s hard to work while they’re happening, and we’re getting distracted here mate. Can you take them outside?” “No? Hrm… well is it something we can help with then, it seems really extreme, and we’d hate to see you in strife”… and see what he says. You are coming from a “let’s solve this together” approach. Someone else might be able to word this better than I…

    1. Colette*

      I’d be leery about offering to help someone with a personal relationship. That’s really not something coworkers should get involved in.

      1. neverjaunty*

        Definitely don’t think they should offer to assist Wakeen, but it might not be the worst idea to ask Wakeen if everything is OK and that if he needs help screening these calls at work, OP and co-workers are definitely supportive.

        This may be an annoying girlfriend and an immature Wakeen, but constantly being harassed at work is also a big symptom of an abusive relationship – where the abused person is stuck between sabotaging their job (by having to answer meaningless calls constantly) or being punished later if they don’t. The fact that Girlfriend is calling his desk, rather than his cell, is also pretty eyebrow-raising.

        OP #1, you can’t solve this problem for Wakeen, but you can let him know 1) this can’t continue but 2) if there is anything that can be done on the work end to help you all have his back.

        1. Traveler*

          Wakeen doesn’t have a cell, that’s why they’re going to his desk. I wonder if there’s some way, without complicating issues for coworkers or creating more drama that his calls could be rerouted or his number changed or someone else couldn’t answer his phone a few times and say he’s not available to stop this.

          I hate calling people at work, and would only ever do it in an emergency. Otherwise its a text or email and hope that their phone has reception or they get a moment to check email. I have a hard time understanding people who are so casual with company line phone use at work. But it sounds like one or both of them have boundary issues, and agreed, possibly verging into abuse.

        2. I'm a Little Teapot*

          Abusive relationship is where my mind went, too. Or at least horribly needy, insecure, and controlling.

          It makes me wonder what the hell Wakeen’s girlfriend does all day. Even if she doesn’t have a job, doesn’t she have better things to do than pester him constantly? I’ve had “friendships” with clingy people like that, and I always ended up cutting off contact completely. I’ve never understood that level of dependence on another person, unless you’re a toddler.

    2. OP1*

      I most definitely do not want to get involved in his constant personal crises. Maybe I’m an unkind and unsympathetic person, but I truly am not interested in his personal problems. He has tried to make idle chit chat about his girlfriend’s issues, and I think I’ve been able to politely dissuade him from talking about it by making noncommittal noises and generally being very busy and working with my headphones on.

      As for screening his calls, I was planning on letting him know how to make all his calls go directly to voicemail, if he indicated that he’d really rather not accept all her calls but doesn’t know how to tell her no. But I’m not giving him relationship advice.

      1. IWorkInSockFeet*

        While not getting involved, would Wakeen be open to your interrupting him after 20-30 seconds with a real (or imagined) work crisis.

        If he is preoccupied with a deadline on the “Penske file”, he really can’t deal with his gf, can he?

        1. OP1*

          Honestly, this seems needlessly passive aggressive and drama-filled in its own way. I do not have time to manufacture work crises; I have my own work to deal with. (I actually am working today and am on my “lunch break”).

    3. EvilQueenRegina*

      I can sympathise with Wakeen if that is the case – while it’s not as bad or as regular as OP describes, I’m currently trying to persuade my family not to call me during the work day just to chat or to text me as they’re bored and then expect me to chat back straight away. I don’t take the calls as I don’t have time at work for that and it can usually wait until the evening. I have tried to tell them this but they still carry on.

      Thing with these relatives is that while I don’t really want to get into it there have been serious health issues in the past and at one point there were a lot of calls of the “X has taken a turn for the worse” variety, so when I get the calls a) my mind flashes to that initially and b) I then feel guilty for getting annoyed.

      1. PlainJane*

        I’ve run into this issue too. I finally started waiting at least 2 hours to respond and sometimes longer, so they would learn that it was pointless to call just to chat. I also asked them to text rather than call–and then only if they needed something. Yes, there was a risk I might miss the important medical call, but I had to retrain the phone abusers. Now it’s much better. Even my teenage son knows not to bug me at work if it isn’t important.

  13. OP #3*

    Alison, thank you so much for taking my letter. Fourtunately, or unfortunately, things ended up working out so I couldn’t/ didn’t need to say anything to my boss yet. She decided to take a couple days off after the conference.
    My coworkers did notice something was off and I followed your advice and just told them I was under the weather.

    I got a call from my doctor and went in yesterday. The preliminary results had come back earlier than expected and unfortunately it’s breast cancer. So, now I’m going to have to tell my boss and coworkers on Monday.

    1. Monika*

      Damn, that really sucks! Luckily chances are good for a full recovery. I keep my fingers crossed for you and wish you all the best.

    2. LJL*

      Sending good healing thoughts your way. Alison also has advice on how to tell co-workers this kind of news.

      1. Lizh*

        So sorry to hear that. Wishing you positive thoughts. I am sorry you are having to deal with this.

    3. Jo*

      Big hugs to you OP3, and I hope that the excellent stats for breast cancer recovery apply to you.
      Cancer is a bastard horrible condition.

    4. Rose*

      We’re all thinking good thoughts for you! With the lovely group of people we have on here, we’d probably all send you get-well cards if we could. :-)

    5. Artemesia*

      Every one of my friends who has had this diagnosis has had a good outcome and I hope that will be your news as well. Hang in there.

    6. The Office Admin*

      Best wishes to you OP3!
      I found this blog a year or two ago, she doesn’t update it anymore now that she’s in remission, but she’s an amazing writer. I don’t know if you’re the sort of person who would want to read about another’s experience? But if so, this is a great read if you start from the beginning. She’s very open about her medical and emotional journey.
      https://killerboobies.wordpress.com

      1. OP #3*

        Thank you guys so much. It’s mostly just a shock right now. 30 with no history whatsoever of cancer in the family, I really wasn’t expecting this

        1. Arbynka*

          Hugs. I also wish you all the best. There is an open thread on Friday for work related topics and open thread on Sunday for talking. If you ever need to talk. I have been reading /posting here for a while and the regulars are great group of people. I would like to suggest you hang around :)

        2. cancer at 32*

          So sorry to hear this news. It’s a shock, I know. I was diagnosed at 32 (I am now late 40s) with somewhat invasive melanoma, and it was a very frightening experience. Please make sure you take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, eat well, exercise. Try to avoid stress (easier said than done, I know). Let yourself cry when you need to. Self-care is so important right now, and easy to blow off when you’re frightened and stressed.

        3. Amanda*

          Late to the party, but shit, I’m sorry to hear that. I was diagnosed at 28 myself; unlike you I do have family history but no other diagnosis before the age of 50 or so. Sometimes I wonder wtf is going on in our environment with so much cancer in young people these days.

          If you want support from other young women, check out the young survival coalition message boards.

        4. Dr. Johnny Fever*

          Kind thoughts your way and best wishes! I know many survivors – including a woman currently in her 90s. I hope you’ll join her :)

    7. Zillah*

      I’m so sorry, OP. I hope the treatment and your recovery goes smoothly and without any complications.

    8. Graciosa*

      I am so sorry to hear this – it’s very difficult news.

      I will say, however, that there is no obligation to share it with everyone in your office unless you choose to. I may be overreacting to your word choice in saying that you “have to” tell the rest of the team on Monday, and you should absolutely feel free to share this as long as it’s your decision.

      For some people, being able to freely share the news allows them to draw comfort from their colleagues at a difficult time. For others, it creates a new burden – being asked for updates when you want to either digest some news from your doctor in private, or simply forget it for a while in the office. Your boss needs to know when you will be unavailable to work due for medical reasons (and HR may need to know enough to process an FMLA claim) but the rest is entirely a matter of your choice.

      Best wishes.

    9. Clever Name*

      oh no! How awful! One of my best friends recently was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and it’s been tough on all of us.

      Hang in there. I think you’ll find that your coworkers will be helpful and understanding.

    10. Job-Hunt Newbie*

      OP #3, I wish you all the best during this time. We’re all here rooting for your recovery!

    11. Another Job Seeker*

      I’m sorry to hear about your prognosis. I did want to share that my supervisor is a breast cancer survivor (at least 7 years, I think). I also have a good friend who is a survivor. Best wishes to you with your treatment.

    12. Mary (in PA)*

      Oof, I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope that you get better and continue to be awesome.

      At the risk of giving more advice to someone who may not need it, when I recently had a health crisis (two hospitalizations, brain surgery, and recently, a couple of seizures as a result), I had my sister act as the “point person,” for everyone who wanted updates. I talked to her about once a day and told her what was going on, and then she wrote an email to my family, my friends, and even my boss and the owner of our company, so they could also be kept informed. I assume anyone who had questions would ask them of her, and then she would ask them of me when we checked in, but it really cut down on me having to give the same update to twenty-five different people. Plus, when I did get phone calls and visitors, everyone was well informed and we could talk about things that weren’t my health.

      Something like this might work for you as your treatment progresses. Regardless, I wish you the best.

      1. Rana*

        Yes, or you can set up a page on someplace like CaringBridge to share such news. My brother-in-law did that when he was dealing with his cancer, and it was a lot easier on him than fielding all of our questions/concerns individually.

    13. The HR Witch*

      Best wishes for a successful treatment and years of cancer-free freedom! The road is tough and it is do-able!

    14. Mimmy*

      OP #3 – I’d say at the very least talk to your boss about this just so that she’s in the loop. I don’t think you need to share details with your coworkers, only if you feel comfortable doing so. Even then, if it were me, I’d only share with those I have a close relationship with.

      Hoping for the best for you going forward. Sending along good thoughts and a healing hug.

    15. Hermoine Granger*

      I’m so sorry. I hope your treatment goes well and you have a speedy recovery.

    16. PlainJane*

      Yikes. I’m so sorry. Best wishes as you go through treatment. I hope it goes as well as it can.

  14. nep*

    #1 — How in hell does someone have this much time while at WORK to be taking all these personal phone calls? How ridiculous. Of course you are in the right.

    1. Rebecca*

      In my office, it’s because the person making all the personal phone calls, taking them, selling things on eBay, paying bills, ordering things online, checking shipments for said orders, playing Solitaire, on and on and on, is the manager’s friend. This causes so much bad morale I can’t even quantify it. And what’s worse is when the friend screws up, she gets even more work taken away from her, to the point she has the lightest workload in the office, which just gives her more time to goof off, while the rest of us are drowning. (yes, there are many of us looking for other jobs, and one person just succeeded – but not me, yet)

      1. nep*

        ‘Yet’ — yes. You’ll succeed. Wishing you the best of luck finding a better environment.
        Talk about horrible (or non-existent) management.

      2. It'sOnlyMe*

        We obviously worked at the same place so I thought I would point out that you forgot to include the Online Dating sites. I hope you find another job soon, good luck.

      3. QualityControlFreak*

        Holy crap, do you work with me? Oh wait, no one’s managed to escape yet. Honestly I think most of us are hoping to wait out The One Who Refuses to Manage (retirement in a little over a month). One of us has a countdown going on their phone. I love my job and I’m committed to my organization and the work we do, but if nothing changes after that I think we will see a mass exodus. Because this is bullshit.

      4. I'm a Little Teapot*

        Ugh, that sucks. At least she’s not that guy from an AAM letter a long while back who spent his whole shift watching porn….

    2. Spring has Sprung!*

      That’s always been my question. I’m an admin, and we have this problem with the two other admins on our team. Somehow, I’m the bad person because I successfully support 4+ people and have capacity to take on additional work as needed. They’re “swamped”, despite only supporting 1 and 2 people each, and resentful they don’t get the chance to take on additional work. That they both are widely known (by everyone except their managers, obviously) for coming in late, leaving early, being on the phone with family, watching videos and doing family work online, etc. doesn’t come into the equation at all – at least in their perspective. Yet we’re paid the same, they keep their managers happy, and none of the external stuff gets dealt with.

      Which is why I’m going to take a lot of personal pleasure when I leave (I’m searching) and suddenly our team has to figure out how to get everything done without me there to pick up the slack. If you don’t reward your good staff, don’t expect them to stay!

    3. LBK*

      Agreed. Not that I don’t do personal stuff while I work ever, but every 15 minutes!? I’d never be able to get anything done with my focus constantly being interrupted like that.

  15. nicole*

    If a person’s performance is so bad they’re barely given any work then they shouldn’t be working there whether they know someone or not. It’s definitely hurting morale and management is now going to lose valuable employees. SMH

    1. Rebecca*

      I agree. My coworkers agree. But we’ve tried to go over our manager’s head, to no avail. She protects this person. So we’re left with working there because we need a paycheck, or trying to find similarly paying jobs in a crappy job market.

      1. Spring has Sprung!*

        There’s nothing like being told or having it implied that if you have sooo much spare time you can attend to someone else’s business, then you can take on more work. Umm, no, you’re flagging a problem for your team/company that management should be aware of.

    2. Artemesia*

      Yeah I don’t get that but have seen it over and over — people who make a big production of how busy they are but do half the work everyone else does, get their load lightened and get described as hard working etc etc. Those who are quietly efficient get dumped on. I have never seen a problem in the workplace that could not be attributed to bad management.

    3. Jennifer*

      But management ISN’T losing valuable employees because hardly anyone can ever find another job these days. They can do whatever they want any more.

      1. neverjaunty*

        They’re still losing valuable employees. It’s certainly true that workplaces like this often have trouble understanding the concept that not all employees are identical warm bodies, but when they’ve leaned on an employee for a long time and that employee walks, well, that’s why AAM gets all those letters saying “I left my old job months ago and they’re still calling to ask me questions!”

  16. Mike C.*

    OP #5: Make sure you write about your interview experience on Glassdoor.com. Look, you spent all that time, money and effort preparing for that interview, and to simply not be interviewed is batshit crazy. I would say take the meat of your letter and copy/paste it. End it with something charmingly passive like, “I was so confused and I just hope this isn’t the normal interviewing policy for other candidates” or something.

    Maybe this way you can ensure others don’t suffer the same fate.

    1. neverjaunty*

      Agree. If the workplace is normally quite functional and they just happened to tag Parsleigh McLoonbucket to handle interviews that day, management will want to know.

  17. Bea W*

    I feel bad for Wakeen. He needs to learn how to draw some boundaries for himself. It is totally reasonable to refuse to take that many personal calls at work. That’s it’s own conversation, but I think the most effective approach would be someone telling him that the volume and nature of those personal calls is distracting to everyone and preventing people and him from focusing on work. A manager should really address this if it’s this frequent and disruptive. Being told he needs to stop taking these calls may be just the excuse he needs to give to his girlfriend. Being able to say “I am not allowed to take personal calls while working.” might be less drama-inciting than a personal refusal if he’s taking these calls to avoid confronting his gf directly and personally.

    Maybe there is some way his work could help him like having his calls routed through the front desk or changing his direct line or forwarding all calls to voicemail for screening. I had an ex who called my desk line repeatedly and he followed me to my next job as well (I don’t know how but he had access to databases PIs use due to his job). Management was very willing to help me minimize the disruption. Usually after a month of having calls rerouted for screening I could switch back to allowing calls through to my desk.

    1. neverjaunty*

      Yes, this. The girlfriend sounds like a nightmare – SHE is calling HIM every time, and he nonetheless is managing to get his work done in between her attempts to turn his life into a 100% pay-attention-to-meeeeee fest.

      OP noted he doesn’t have a cellphone, so if the girlfriend’s calls are getting screened, the poor guy will be able to concentrate on his work.

    2. fposte*

      It also sounds like he’s managing to get some pretty useful work done at the same time, which isn’t usually what we hear in complaints in this line.

      1. OP1*

        Wakeen is a great worker, and he is able to work while on the phone calls, but the nature of Sam and my work is such that the phone calls are distracting and we can’t work while they are taking place. I really do feel bad for Wakeen and he is a great guy, but I’m not willing to get pulled into his personal problems. Partly because I have my own personal stuff I’m dealing with (being an adult is hard!), and partly because I simply don’t want to.

        1. fposte*

          And you absolutely shouldn’t have to. It’s just your problem stands out a little, because usually it’s “my co-worker is always on the phone and therefore doesn’t get her work done and plus I really don’t like her.” Yours is “Wakeen is great and really comes through for us, but we’ve exceeded our TMI factor.”

          1. OP1*

            Thanks. And I’ve definitely shared offices with people I didn’t really like and just dealt with it.

        2. neverjaunty*

          Letting him know that the girlfriend’s disruption of work is Not Cool, and suggesting an appropriate work-related way to deal with it (“let your calls go to voice mail”) is not really the same as getting involved in his life or offering relationship advice.

          1. OP1*

            Exactly. There are suggestions down thread that were more “how can we help you with your personal problem” which I’m not comfortable with doing.

        3. Bea W*

          Think how great he’d be if he weren’t spending so much time on the phone with his girlfriend. I can’t imagine what you could get done easily while on the phone having a dramarific conversation. I’m assuming he’s really productive in between calls or making sure he still puts in all of the time needed to finish his work.

          Even if it’s not distracting him (how can it not?) if it is distracting other people from work, that’s more than enough reason it needs to stop.

        4. Bea W*

          The personal side of this is its own beast. You definitely do not have to go down that road. Even if the calls were happy comfortable conversations, it would be totally reasonable to ask that they stop or happen less frequently because they are interfering with your work, and it is totally reasonable to leave it up to a manager to intervene if you are not comfortable approaching Wakeen directly. If you do approach him directly, you don’t have to talk about the content of the calls, you can focus on the disruption they are causing to your work and not mention anything personal.

  18. OP1*

    Thanks for answering my question! The script is exactly what I needed, but somehow Sam and I couldn’t come up with a good way to say just that.

  19. Judy*

    #4: I was in a position a few years ago where our location was moving, and we either had to move or get severance. It was clearly spelled out in the initial document that we had to sign that included the “check one: ___I’m interested in moving to (new location), ___I’m not interested in moving to (new location)”. Once a person and the company representative signed it, they were obligated to pay the severance if we stayed until the date they specified in the letter. Several people were offered extensions as the dates drew nearer, and as I understand it, they had already “earned” the severance, and they negotiated that to stay on for 4 more months would be $X more severance. They didn’t get the payout until they were actually severed, though. I hear the understanding was if they left with 2 weeks notice during the extended time, they just got the original severance.

  20. Looby*

    #5, suspicious me is questioning whether the rude interviewer was really the interviewer and not an internal candidate who was getting rid of the competition. I wonder how many others got chased off and then put down as a no show.

    1. Observer*

      I was wondering something like that, as well. It’s rather odd that the person at the reception desk is the interviewer. I’m not saying impossible, but definitely unusual.

    2. JMegan*

      Yes, that struck me too. I didn’t think of an internal candidate, but I did have to read the letter twice to confirm that the interviewer was the person sitting at the front desk.

  21. JMegan*

    OP2, I have gotten two jobs by being the backup candidate. The first time, the person they hired didn’t work out within a couple of weeks, so they went to the second person on the list. The second time, someone else left the team shortly after the new person was hired, so they moved the new person into that spot and hired me (their second choice) for the position I had originally interviewed for.

    This is one case where the dating/work analogy doesn’t hold up. In dating, it really would be insulting to be someone’s second choice in case their first choice doesn’t work out. But in interviewing, you often have several excellent candidates, and can only hire one. It’s actually pretty common, and nothing to take personally. I hope it comes through for you, so you can still decide if you want the job!

  22. brownblack*

    I don’t understand #5. How many different people are involved in this scenario? Were you being interviewed by the front desk person? Like, are we talking about a public gathering area in the office? Or did you try to walk right into the actual office of the person who was supposed to interview you? You say the person at the front desk ignored you but then you say she “came out to talk to you.” Was this the front desk attendant walking out to a waiting room, or was this some executive walking out of her office? I would imagine that if you wandered into a person’s office she might be taken aback and not want to consider you for the position. But maybe I’m misunderstanding.

  23. Willow Sunstar*

    With #5, I think you avoided someone who would have been a royal pain to work for. I have never witnessed or heard of that happening before. I suppose they could have someone pegged for the position, been required by HR to interview candidates, and then trumped up the lack of interviews. But one would think HR would be smart enough to question if there was a very low number of interviews, given the number of people looking for work.

Comments are closed.