update: my horse died because of my manager’s carelessness

The letter-writer whose horse died after her manager neglected to pass along an emergency phone message to her sent in an update late last night. Here it is:

Thank you to everyone who has offered condolences, and my condolences to those who have shared stories of their own loses. My mare died on the 7th of September and I took several days off after her death. The necropsy report revealed that she had a tumour which wrapped around part of the intestine and strangled it. I had her cremated and her ashes have been scattered on several of our old trails.

About a week after I wrote to Alison, I was called into the meeting, along with my manager, his manager I also dragged in the union rep as I wanted someone in my corner. At the first, Grand Boss asked me what was going on and why I’d suddenly dropped all the shifts I’d been covering. I explained what had happened and Manager beside me looked really worried. Grand boss listened my side of the story, paused the meeting and then went and got Great Grand Boss. I told Great Grand Boss the whole story again, though this time I struggled to keep it together, and then Great Grand Boss asked Manager what his side of the story was.

Manager said he’d stood up to get me, his phone had rung again, he had had to make a follow up call after that and then he’d forgotten about it about it until I came in for smoko. Great Grand Boss asked my manager what would have happened had an employee failed to contact a supervisor immediately about an animal in his care with the broken leg and needed to be euthanized. Manager awkwardly responded that the employee would have been fired. Union rep at this point switches sides and comments that my mare wasn’t in the care of the company/manager. Great Grand Boss concedes the point but also reminds union rep that they fired two employees last year for animal welfare related issues that occurred outside of work. He then dragged manager and the rep off to his office to talk.

Grand boss was very apologetic and gave me a few weeks of paid leave plus the contact details of the company psychiatrist. I’ve had a few sessions with them and they have really helped. She also asked about what my plans were and if I wanted to stay with the company after I got back from leave, though she understood if I didn’t. She said that she would provide me with a good reference if I needed it. I said I needed to think about it, but also pointed out that I wasn’t keen to be doing so much overtime.

What was even nicer, though, was when I went to sort out the vet bill I discovered that the company had already paid it. So, I’m still working for them and not under that manager. He is still with the company, just in a very different role with little to no phone answering responsibilities.

{ 217 comments… read them below }

  1. addlady*

    This is the best way it could have wrapped up given what happened. I’d say congratulations except that nothing can bring your horse back. I am so sorry.

    1. Long Time Reader First Time Poster*

      Exactly this ^. I am so sorry about your poor horse, but at least your company did what they could to make it right.

      1. 42*

        Absolutely. Seems they’re trying hard to make something right out of it.

        OP: I hope you continue to make good progress with your leave and your recovery. Please update us again.

      2. Anion*

        I have to say, the fact that the Big Guys cared so much, and paid the vet bill, does say something about them. (Something positive, if that wasn’t clear.)

    2. hi.*

      My thoughts exactly. This story is heartbreaking and nothing can change what happened, but I’m so happy to hear that your company did right by you in the end. I hope it helps as you heal from this and move forward. <3

    3. Jessesgirl72*

      Exactly what I was thinking! I can’t imagine a better resolution.

      It doesn’t bring back her mare, or undo her suffering, but the OP was shown that both she and animals in her care- on or off property- are a priority. With both words and by opening their pocketbook!

      And Manager was both reprimanded and moved to a position where he can’t cause that to happen again!

      1. Anonamoose*

        Well, lets not get carried away. He no longer answers the phone – that doesn’t mean that he’s any more responsible than he was. Just that Grand Management did what little they could to try to appease OP. And they’re likely watching Manager like a hawk (rightly so, asshole!).

        Sorry OP! I can’t even imagine how terrible your loss was. I am a pet owner but none of them have been with me as long as yours. Ugh, I would be catatonic!

        Your place of work (other than your ex manager) sounds like decent people. I wouldn’t jump the gun on leaving if you can make it work. Many places could have just said ‘oh well, we’re sorry’ and that’s it, plus they’re giving you time to grieve and have been generous. I’d give the company (not ex manager) a little room to see how things play out. Hang in there!

        1. Jessesgirl72*

          A “very different role” to me says a demotion. At the least it’s a lateral move with less responsibility. The Grand Boss and GreatGrandBoss seem really responsible, and I bet they will absolutely make sure Manager won’t be in a position for this to happen again at their company. If they fired people for delaying treatment of a client’s animal or for off-site animal cruelty allegations, they are very aware of how valuable their reputation is. Clearly the OP doesn’t work for a factory farm, after all.

          1. JayemGriffin*

            Yeah, I was thinking “demotion” too. It would certainly be in line with how they handled the rest of this situation (which is amazingly well). It was good to read this, OP; I think it’s the best way that situation could’ve turned out. I’m wishing you all the best.

  2. Golden Lioness*

    I am so happy to hear this update! I knew the meeting would address the issue. a few of us commented that we hoped this would happen. So happy to see both the carelessness of manager and your emotinal wellbeing were addressed.

    Hope you heal soon, OP! and thank you for the update!

    1. Dr. Johnny Fever*

      This isn’t just one of the best updates I’ve seen here, but one of the best things I’ve read in weeks. It seems like the best possible solution for the situation, and that so rarely happens.

      I know it will never make up for the loss of your mare, OP, but I hope their overall appreciation of the situation, the gravity, and their response helps you with healing.

      1. Working Mom*

        Well said, I agree. I’m relieved to read this update, although it’s still a terribly sad situation. What I liked is that the bosses collectively looked at this from the perspective of “what would happen if this animal had been in our care.” So sorry for your loss, OP.

    2. Heather*

      I’m tearing up, too. I lost my dog last year and it’s been so hard…I can’t imagine having to cope with the loss on top of knowing that she suffered at the end. I’m glad your company is taking care of you and trying to make this right. I’m so sorry that this happened at all.

    3. OhNo*

      Seriously! The original letter made me so sad, I’m glad the OP was willing to share this update with us.

      OP, I’m still so sorry about the loss of your mare. It sounds like you found a lovely way to honor her by scattering her ashes on the trails you rode together!

  3. TheBeetsMotel*

    Looks like this worked out as well as it reasonably could have. Great-grand boss seems pretty fair-minded, and they responded appropriately regarding compensatory measures.

    So sorry for your loss again.

      1. Fortitude Jones*

        Yup. They knew manager effed up in a big way here and they had to fix this mess somehow.

  4. motherofdragons*

    I’m so, so glad to hear how this turned out for you with respect to your company. They totally handled it well, and although nothing can bring back your sweet horse, I hope this resolution helps you feel a little better. Hugs to you!

  5. MoinMoin*

    This made me so teary (much better than the tears of anger I had reading the initial question)! I’m really glad they did this much to rectify the situation, but I’m still sorry you had to go through it. Hope you’re continuing to heal, OP.

  6. Murphy*

    OP, I’m so glad that the other managers at your organization understood the gravity of the situation and acted much more reasonably. I’m sorry again for what happened to you.

  7. animaniactoo*

    Given the situation, that’s a pretty awesome resolution. I’m glad that the company really didn’t overlook this at all and took major steps to take care of you, right down to understanding that you might want to leave and offering the reference if that was the case.

  8. justsomeone*

    I’m glad to hear that your company did the right things – moved that manager away from you, let you have the time off you needed, provided an avenue for emotional support and took on the financial responsibility of the vet bills. Your old manager is a sucky person, but it seems that your company is trying not to suck.

  9. JMegan*

    This is a great update. I’m really pleased to see that it was just your manager who messed up, and that it’s not indicative of the rest of the organization. Looks like Grandboss and Great-grandboss handled the whole thing incredibly well – up to and including paying your vet bill, and making sure you don’t have to work with that manager any more.

    It doesn’t bring your mare back of course, but I think this is the best possible outcome otherwise. Thank you for the update!

  10. DaniTLR*

    I’m so glad to hear that your company both recognized the severity of bad judgement on the part of your old manager, and values you and your welfare to make as good amends as they can at present. Best wishes to you!

  11. Marche*

    I’m so glad the meeting went well, OP. I know nothing will bring your horse back, but it sounds like everything went as well as it could have.

  12. GMA*

    Union rep at this point switches sides and comments that my mare wasn’t in the care of the company/manager.

    Did this jump out at anyone else? This seems really out of line for a union rep.

    1. The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home*

      In places I’ve worked, lower level managers (example: shift supervisors) are sometimes union members, so I kind of assumed the manager was a low-enough level “manager” to be included in the union. When the union rep realized the manager was potentially in jeopardy, the rep stepped in to protect the union member who, at that point, was actually in need of some protection (which was the first-line manager, rather than the OP).

      1. GMA*

        You’re probably right. In my union experience, there have been multiple unions representing different classes of workers, so nobody was in the same union as their supervisor/manager. Something still feels off to me about this situation, but your interpretation is better than mine, which was that the union rep is one of those people who just can’t resist jumping in with a “Well, actually…” whether it’s appropriate for the situation or not.

            1. CanadianKat*

              Haha, I didn’t, until now. I assumed it was just a term that smokers use, so I wouldn’t know it. My thoughts when reading the original post were that not only is the OP a smoker, but she must also have so many smokers surrounding her that she forgot that this was a term not used among others.

              Now I know that it can be used to refer to a non-smoking break.

            2. Yup*

              Australian slang abbreviates pretty much every word, particularly with “y” or “o” (the “y” is British too, the “o” specifically Australian). Examples: afternoon –> afty; or in Aus slang, afternoon –> arvo.

              Etc etc.

            3. Anion*

              I knew it from reading the book TIM by Colleen McCullough, about a middle-aged woman in Australia who falls in love with an extremely handsome young mentally challenged man (meaning very low-IQ; I’m not sure if “challenged” is the correct term these days, sorry if I got it wrong.) It’s a beautiful book, if anyone is interested; all about how everyone deserves love.

          1. T*

            Yep. I work in an Australian union and we can represent pretty much any level employee in the workplace (with some restrictions but not that kind of no managers thing).

            That said, I would sincerely hope none of our reps would jump sides from the person who asked them for assistance – very much not the done thing.

            1. Brisvegan*

              I was writing at the same time as you! :)

              Love the work you and other union workers do. Thanks!

          2. Brisvegan*

            I’m in Australia and in a union, so maybe I can help out on this one.

            It is very possible the manager and the OP are both members of the same union and the union rep was concened that another union member might be facing discipline/firing. Both people being part of the same union would not be surprising.

            On Australia and unions: Most of our unions seem less contentious than what I read about the US. Many, probably most, workplace have union members working for tham. Blue, pink and white collar workers are routinely in unions. You would tend to have one or a few major unions per industry, representing people at multiple levels of the industry. Being a union member is just kind of normal, as is other people not joining. I am an academic at a major uni and happily a member of the National Tertiary Education Union, as are many (maybe half? Not sure) of my coworkers and members of mid-level academic management (eg it’s fairly normal for a faculty dean or head of school to be a union member). When kids start part time jobs at fast food chains or supermarkets, they are often encouraged (and supported by their employer) to join their relevant union. Unions are part of our legislative wage negotiation systems, with unions usually negotiating with major employers (eg my Uni, major retailers etc) to decide legally enforceable wage and benefit arrangements for the whole organisation. We don’t seem to have the sharp dichotomy between unionised and non-unionised work places, as most workplaces would have at least some union members and even non-union members benefit industry wide from national and state standards set with union input. There is some political divide (right vs left) on the appropriate extent of union roles, but there doesn’t seem to be quite the same level as I read about from the US. Hope this makes sense and helps contextualise things a bit. :)

            1. Koko*

              Thanks for sharing. I’m curious – how does that work, in a place where some of the employees are union members and others are not? If the union and non-union employees get the same compensation, then what incentive does any individual worker have to join the union instead of free-riding? And if the union employees are better compensated than the non-union employees, then why wouldn’t an employee join?

              1. Julie Noted*

                I’m Australian, and a member of a public sector union.

                In my sector, individuals come under the agreement negotiated between senior management and the union members regardless of their membership status. There are a number of reasons people choose to join the union, and different individuals will weight each factor differently, but broadly they are:
                * principle. Solidarity is a strongly-held principle for many of us – including me. I’m at the top level of management included in our collective agreement, and most of the conditions fought hard over don’t apply to me. But my membership supports people a lot further down the chain, who earn less than half my salary and who do need those conditions. Also, I know that the presence of unions is a valuable part of our industrial landscape, so I choose to play my part to make sure they will still exist in the future.
                * a stronger voice in the negotiation process. When we negotiate our agreement, the union membership raises with our negotiating representatives the things that we want to prioritise, and a draft agreement is voted on by the union membership before it goes out to an all-staff vote.
                * individual representation in disputes if needed
                * various discounted goods and services (ranging from cheap whitegoods to free financial planning assistance)
                * insurance coverage – in my sector, workplace insurance covered employees’ travel to and from work as well as at work. A few years ago a right wing government rescinded that section, which was a concern to a lot of staff, so the union took out journey insurance for all of its members.

                Free riding is definitely an issue. At my last job, there were two people who would join the union a month before the negotiation of a new agreement started, throw their weight around in meetings during negotiation to emphasise their specific interests, and resign as soon as the new agreement was in place. Not cool. Free riding is annoying, but for most of the members I know their decision to join the union was a result of placing greater weight on the principle of collectivism than possible benefits of individualism.

              2. Brisvegan*

                Everyone working for an employer usually has the same overall standards and wage agreements under industrial awards (court decided and registered standards) and/or enterprise bargaining agreements (between the employer and union on behalf of all employees).

                Yes, non-unionists get somewhat of a free ride. Some unionists are annoyed by this, but most Australians take it for granted for various historical reasons.

                We have a long history of collective bargaining recognised at government levels, which makes this more normalised, I think.
                Our government and industrial courts set not only a minimum wage, but also industry specific industrial awards (eg minimum conditions and wages for all worker in an industry), which are usually influenced/negotiated by unions. We can also have Enterprise Bargaining Agreements, which are registered agreements negotiated between large organisations (eg my uni, or something like an airline) and the relevant union. These things will apply equally to everyone employed by the employer for an EBA or in non-EBA workplaces in an industry, for an award.

                Why would people join unions? Lots of people think unions are important and support their union by joining. Most unions are not demonised here and many industries see membership as routine. To get access to union bargaining input, eg attending consultation meetings, one must be a union member. When conditions in an industry are difficult, people may join their union for a measure of protection for work to change conditions. Union members can also access union support, including lawyers, if there is an individual dispute (some people only join when they have problems!). Lots of unions have other, less important, incentives, like negotiating discounts (eg a Union Shopper card comes with my NTEU membership). Some services are available for members, eg I know members of the Police Credit Union (like a bank with really good rates) which I believe is only available to members of the union which covers police and correctional workers. We also have a cultural history of valourising blue collar workers and their struggles (eg gold miners in our Eureka Stockade rebellion, now co-opted by various white wing groups, unfortunately). We used to be one of the most highly unionised countries in the world, so many families also have traditions of unionism.

                There is declining union membership in reponse to conservative government industrial approaches and a decline in militancy in our centre left major political party, the Labor Party, once a very strongly union-influenced party, as the name might suggest.

                I’m always fascinated by the differences in our similar cultures. I love it when everyone tells about the differences in various countries, so thanks for asking about mine.

                1. Brisvegan*

                  What Julie Noted said better than me! :)

                  PS: cool user name, Julie Noted! I see what you did there.

            2. Tiger Snake*

              Brisvegan has summarised our union environment way better than I could, but I would like to point out:

              While union reps generally work with all our staff – managers and non-managers – it is a little odd that the union rep would speak on behalf of the manager if the OP asked her to come in. My guess is that its a matter as to what the OP actually asked.

              If the OP had asked the rep to ADVOCATE on her behalf, then the rep would be remiss to defend the manager at that time. The best alternative would have been to try and direct the meeting to resolve the issue with the OP, walk the OP out, and then remain to discuss and defend the manager after.

              But if the union rep was asked to come in to ensure that the meeting is FAIR and above the board, then the rep is simply acting to ensure imparity in judging or applying penalty on all sides that the union represents, and that includes the manager.

              This sounds like it may have been the second scenario – and frankly, if your employer is reasonable, that’s often all you need.

        1. Violet Fox*

          At least around here (which is somewhere in norther Europe) it is pretty common for people in multiple levels to be represented by the same union. Also depending on where people work, if they join a union they might have a choice as to which. I had a choice between three or four where I work.

          The relationship is also a bit less adversarial then it is in the US generally speaking from everything I have read.

          1. Chocolate Teapot*

            Yes, that’s my experience too. There is a specific one for my sector, then more general ones for manual/skilled/professional levels.

        2. Jessesgirl72*

          It’s not unheard of in the US.

          In my early 20’s, I worked a manufacturing job in the automotive industry. As a money-saving measure, they promoted some union employees into very low level manager positions- they had limited managerial powers (not even shift foreman level. Mostly paperwork and paid tale telling), but were still union members, represented by the same reps as the people under them. It caused some real problems when a disciplinary issue came up of something the low level manager witnessed, with the Rep having to defend both sides. If it got serious enough, or there was good warning about it ahead of time, they’d have brought in a GrandRep to represent one of us, but that honestly didn’t happen all that often.

          Things got even more complicated because even some of the higher level management came from the floor, and were technically still union members. Whenever one of them got fired, they automatically got the chance to resume their position on the floor, and then could appeal to the Union to help them get their Manager job back! More usually, the Union just got them a nice early retirement package, but I saw it work for a Mid-Level Manager where the Union got his job back!

      2. Ghost Town*

        I hadn’t considered that, but seems likely. So good on union rep for stepping up for their union member.

    2. Kyrielle*

      Except I’m going to bet that the union rep also represents the manager…and thus felt he had two sides in this. Which is sort of icky, but worked out okay because the Grand-Boss and Great-Grand-Boss were being quite reasonable (and I wonder if he detected that, but yes, it’s still a little…odd).

    3. AMG*

      Yes, it jumped out at me. I felt my eyes shoot daggers at my computer screen. I can only assume that the union rep represents both OP and the manager. There is no other plausible explanation. >:(

      1. Observer*

        I don’t think it’s possible that the manager is not in the Union, simply because otherwise the union rep wouldn’t have been “dragged off” to the other room by the GreatGrandBoss.

    4. ceiswyn*

      I actually found that encouraging. After all, if the boot were on the other foot and it were the OP who was suddenly looking at being disciplined for something that was only tangentially their responsibility, it’s nice to know that the union rep would see that and step in rather than nailing them to the wall on behalf of a different union member.

      To me it speaks of fair-mindedness and objectivity in the rep, which are good things, not bad ones!

  13. Cafe au Lait*

    Thank you for updating is! I was incredibly upset in your behalf yesterday. I gave my kitties extra snuggles since I couldn’t give a hug.

    It sounds like your Great Grandboss understood the severity of the situation and has tried to make it right. Nothing will bring back your mare, but now you’re not being penalized financially for your former boss’s mistake.

  14. Chloe Silverado*

    I’m so glad your company handled the fallout of this situation with integrity, but so sorry that you had to go through this at all.

  15. Kay*

    Oh, what a good update. Thank you for sharing it. Huge, huge kudos to your company for making this as right as they could.

  16. designbot*

    SUCH a great resolution. This update really makes me wonder though, who called the meeting? If your boss called it, or told his boss he was having a problem with you because your work had slacked, that was super short-sighted of him. If your boss’s boss called it, that should have involved a discussion with your boss where you would think he would attempt to head this off, right? The fact that you had to wind up in this super serious meeting before your boss’s boss heard about this incident presumably for the first time is a little stunning.

    1. AMG*

      I was thinking it was probably the Grand Boss: “Grand Boss asked me what was going on and why I’d suddenly dropped all the shifts I’d been covering”

      1. designbot*

        Right, I guess I’m just trying to imagine the conversation that lead up to the meeting between Grand Boss and Boss, because there had to have been one. Grand Boss would presumably bring this up with Boss and say hey, OP used to be so great, picking up shifts all the time, what’s up with her? And Boss just shrugs and pretends like he doesn’t know? Did boss legit not realize that her change in attitude towards the job was a direct result of this? Because if he realized it, I feel like if I was in his shoes I would try to head Grand Boss off at the pass by offering some version of the story that was true but maybe glossed over the details that’d make me look the worst, and say, give her a little time to get back to normal, thus kicking the need for Big Official Meeting down the road a while. But it really sounds like this was Grand Boss’s first time hearing anything about it.

        1. 2 Cents*

          I think the Manager was just dumb enough to not put two and two together. Or thought the OP would *never* suggest he was responsible for her horse’s death…even though he was directly involved.

  17. Brownie Queen*

    Great update!!! Happy to see that upper management cared and took action against your crappy manager.

  18. Manic Pixie HR Girl*

    Thank you so much for this update. My dog and cat are my babies, so I completely understand the pain and frustration you were feeling. I am really glad to hear your employer did right by you in the end, and I really can’t imagine a better outcome.

    1. Apollo Warbucks*

      As far as I know it’s Australian slang for a smoke / coffee break.

      Or do any other commenters know if it’s used elsewhere ?

      1. dragonzflame*

        Yes, it’s sometimes used in New Zealand too – though I think more commonly in blue-collar workplaces.

          1. dragonzflame*

            I stand corrected! Must just be me then; I’ve never heard it used outside blue-collar environments, except ironically.

    2. Moonsaults*

      When the first post mentioned it, I thought it was a typeo and was supposed to be smoke break. Then this second one shows me that I’m a turd and that it’s an Australian post, so it’s just a regional slang.

      1. Jennifer needs Thneeds*

        a turd? That’s a little strong! Because you were right both times: It’s Aussie slang for a smoke break. It just wasn’t a typo, is all.

    3. Novocastriart*

      Yes, smoko is mid morning/mid afternoon break, although it is also what one might eat on such a break (eg, a farmhand might say “the bosses wife will bring smoko down to the back paddock” – which would be tea, maybe and cake). It’s a term used pretty widely in regional/farming areas and in the construction industry Australia wide!

  19. Nan*

    Thanks for the update. The original story had me upset and angry. I’m glad the Grand Boss and Great Grand Boss knew that the manager was in the wrong.

  20. Angry animal lover*

    This makes me so happy. I’m so glad the company did what they could to make this right for you. <3

  21. Kyrielle*

    I am so very, very glad that your company took all the appropriate actions and did the best they could with what had happened. Your (former! yay!) manager is lucky he still has a job.

    I am still so sorry for the loss of your mare.

  22. Meg Murry*

    I’m glad to hear OP got an update and the company appears to be doing the right thing for her.

    OP, if you do decide to stay, could you suggest the company consider putting in some kind of equipment or protocol for contacting an employee in the case of an emergency since you can’t have your personal phones on you? Is there a way the manager could have paged you over an intercom system or called someone with a walkie-talkie in the same barn as you to go get you, etc?

  23. seejay*

    Wow. While this is the ultimate in shitty situations, it sounds like the company stood up and tried to rectify as best the could. O_O

  24. AMG*

    Like everyone else, I am glad that someone stood up for you and your poor horse. I hope this helps you to heal and I am glad you no longer report to that manager.

  25. Oh no, not again*

    Wow, good on upper management. I wish you didn’t have to go through this in the first place, OP. Take care.

  26. DragoCucina*

    My condolences to you. But, wow. I wonder if they had asked the manager why you dropped shifts and got a sortta non answer, which led to the big meeting. I am impressed with the fact that manager was taken out of the room for a discussion that I’m sure was not pretty. They stepped up once they knew it was your supervisor that failed. The time off, offer of therapy, and paying the vet bill shows a company that has good priorities.

  27. Kate*

    Thanks for this update! I also got a little emotional reading it because I’m still so terribly sorry about what happened to your mare, but I’m glad upper management understood the seriousness of the situational and did their best to rectify it.

  28. H.C.*

    I’m glad that both Grand Boss & Great Grand Boss had your back (and FWIW, that your ex-manager seemed like he’s carelessly negligent rather than intentionally malicious in failing to communicate to you); my continued sympathies & hope you take up on the counseling offer to help work through your grief of a loved one.

    1. H.C.*

      Sorry for the fast-read, just saw that you have already done some counseling – but glad company psychiatrist is supportive if you choose to leave company as well. If possible, I would wait suggest waiting a few weeks before making that decision – to see if you still enjoy working there and when tensions have cooled a bit.

      1. TootsNYC*

        It sounded like it was the Grand Boss who asked about leaving the company. (psychiatrists were “they,” and the “she” was talking about giving a reference).

        She also asked about what my plans were and if I wanted to stay with the company after I got back from leave, though she understood if I didn’t. She said that she would provide me with a good reference if I needed it.

        Which makes me like the Grand Boss even more. And would hopefully mean you’d be willing to continue to work for them.
        But also glad that you stuck w/ the “not keen to be doing so much overtime” point. Because, as you mentioned in the earlier letter, all that overtime had a goal at the end of it: the care of your horse. You weren’t working for the money to keep score, or to serve some OTHER end (like saving for college or something).

        So you might as well have your life back.

          1. TootsNYC*

            I made the same assumption and then hit the “good references” bit and wondered by the psychiatrist would be giving a reference. That helped me sort it out.

    2. many bells down*

      What jumped out at me was that the manager lied to cover up his negligence. He told OP at first that he was planning to tell her at lunch. But now he says he just forgot.

  29. Venus Supreme*

    Thank you for the update, OP. This is somewhat of a “better case scenario” considering the tragedy cannot be undone. Many many hugs and I hope you find peace at your job, whether that be with this company or elsewhere.

    (Dangit, I’m still crying! Who put onions under my desk…)

  30. Bess*

    Reading the first letter almost made me cry at my desk. Although nothing can undo or fix what happened, I’m so glad to hear OP is getting some better treatment/restitution from her company. I wish OP clarity in her upcoming career choices.

  31. TootsNYC*

    It’s interesting that what they asked about was the extra shifts.

    As if they felt entitled to them.

    They didn’t say, “you’ve been doing a sloppy job and you’re surly.”

    But I’m so glad that your Grand Boss and Great Grand Boss took this so seriously. It will be easier to continue to work there.

    1. Roz*

      Eh, she went from one mode of professional behavior to a very different one. It may come down to “you used to go above and beyond and now you don’t,” but I think it’s fair to wonder what’s going on when you witness such a dramatic shift in behavior in your employee.

    2. Shannon*

      They may have been wondering if they needed to hire another person. If OP had been picking up those shifts pretty consistently up until then, they probably started to plan on her working that amount of time.

    3. Nancie*

      I wonder if the manager tried to make it sound like more was going on than a lack of the usual extra shifts, then back-peddled, leaving the higher-ups both curious and concerned about wtf is going on.

      Which it turns out they had every right to be, since they apparently cared to know that the employee had been harmed through the manager’s inaction.

    4. sstabeler*

      To be fair, they asked “what’s wrong, since you don’t pick up the extra shifts anymore”- I read that more as wondering what caused what is a pretty fundamental shift in someone’s attitude. It’s not that they felt entitled to the extra shifts as much as when your star worker, who picks up extra shifts whenever necessary, suddenly starts doing something close to the bare minimum ( going by ” I still do the basic job duties”) a caring manager would wonder why the sudden change. Considering they more-or-less immediately drop any mention of it, I’d be inclined to say it was more worry about tyhe LW than feeling entitled to the shifts,

      1. LBK*

        Agreed, that’s how I read it – out of concern for the OP because of her change in behavior, not in a nagging way. Isn’t that a good thing, that they’re in tune with the morale of their employees?

    5. North Dakota Jones*

      Eh, I’m okay with them approaching it from this direction. I know that managers/companies aren’t required to be their employee’s keeper when it comes to mental/physical health, but as is often pointed out in the comments, a sudden change in behavior can be indicative of health issues that may need treatment. The managers/company shouldn’t approach it as “go get help so you can work more” but as “you used to do this, and now you’re not, is everything okay?”

      Plus factoring in the possibility of hiring new employees, changing schedules, etc. to make sure those shifts are still covered, I think it’s reasonable.

      1. Knitchic*

        Yeah that’s how I took it. My old boss once pulled me into a meeting because I went from pretty cheerful and chatty to withdrawn in a very short span. And I’m glad he did, life kind of pilled up on me and I was very depressed. It helped knowing that someone noticed and cared enough to check in.

      2. Brisvegan*

        In addition to thinking about staffing, I wonder if they weren’t concerned about OP. They seem like pretty decent people.

    6. Liane*

      Alison usually advises managers to open first discussions of a problem, especially when it involves a change of attitude or behavior, similarly–and listen to the response.
      Which is what Grand-boss and Great-grand-boss did. Then took appropriate actions–yay!

  32. Trout 'Waver*

    Despite all the horror stories on here, most bosses are good people who want to do the right thing. I’m glad the management above your manager falls into that category.

  33. Bonky*

    That’s great, responsible management from the people who were senior to your manager: I’m so glad your organisation took it so seriously. I hope you’re going to stay on with them.

    When you first wrote in, I was among those thinking “I’d very seldom throw in the towel, but this is one situation I’d likely resign over.” I’m so glad you didn’t; it sounds like aside from your direct manager, it’s an organisation that understands accountability and the value of a good employee.

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

  34. President of the Lutheran Sisterhood Gun Club*

    This is a good resolution, but I’m still so very sorry for the loss of your horse.

  35. HannahS*

    Wow. I’m sorry for your loss, and I’m so, so glad that the company has recognized your loss and the fault of your ex-manager.

  36. Brogrammer*

    OP, thanks for updating us. I’m sorry for your loss and your horrible experience with your former boss, but I’m happy to hear that the rest of your company stepped up and did the right thing.

  37. Heather*

    Oh my word, I’m so glad to hear that they are taking this seriously and trying to do the right thing. My heart broke when I read the original letter, I’m so very sorry that you have to deal with this…

  38. Elizabeth the Ginger*

    Manager may have showed a smidgen more integrity here than described in the OP’s first letter by admitting that he just plain forgot to get OP. In the original letter “he said he was going to let me know at lunch time (approximately five hours after the call came) and I could leave then,” which is such a cowardly denial of fallibility.

    1. Kyrielle*

      Interesting! I had the opposite thought – that he was going to wait until lunch was the truth, and that he claimed he forgot because he figured that would go over better than saying he just didn’t think it was important enough to bother with, or that he’d lied to the caller….

      1. designbot*

        That’s how I read it too. Admittedly I’m not giving Boss the benefit of the doubt here because he just sounds like he’s only out to cover his own behind and has zero interest in his employees’ well-being.

        1. Kyrielle*

          I’m not sure how much benefit of the doubt he deserves! If he’d just made a mistake, I would have expected him to say that to the OP, whether apologetically or just dismissively (the latter sadly seems more likely). “Oh, sorry. There was another call and I had to follow up on it, and I didn’t get back to this. I meant to let you know.”

          But no, _that_ story only came out when he needed to cover his backside to the bosses.

    2. Lissa*

      it baffles me that he thought “I decided not to tell her about an emergency and would keep her at work for 5 hours” makes him look better than “I completely forgot.” One is egregious carelessness. The other is *horrible*.

    3. Observer*

      Nah. Remember – he, unlike the OP apparently, knows that deciding to slack of on proper animal care is a potential firing offense. So, it’s quite possible that he was changing his story to look better.

      In any case, in telling two different stories he showed UTTER lack of integrity. The only way he could show anything like integrity is to either own the original mistake OR *admit* that you lied the first time round.

  39. Lil Lamb*

    I like that your company does their best to care for its employees. This is a terrible situation, but at least there’s some small comfort in knowing that they aren’t dismissing the severity of what your manager did and tried their best to rectify the situation. Wishing you the best!

  40. MacGirl*

    Tearing up at my desk. I’m to hear the company made strides to make amends while recognizing that nothing can bring your horse back. Best of luck to you, OP.

  41. Janice in Accounting*

    While I am so sorry for your loss, I am glad that the company took responsibility here and I hope you find it somewhat easier to heal now. Thank you for updating us.

  42. Blue Anne*

    I’m so glad your company stepped up to the plate. It’s a tragic situation, but this is the best resolution that could be hoped for, really. I’m so glad to hear it.

  43. spocklady*

    Oh my gosh, I was so sorry to hear about your mare. Thanks for this update — it seems like it worked out the best it could in the circumstances. Good on your grand-boss. Still just really sad for you that this happened. Sending hugs from the internet.

  44. Early Annie*

    While nothing can heal your pain but time, I am very pleased that the company you work for was so responsive, caring and helpful, both emotionally and financially. I hope you take some time in your own heart and head before you decide to either leave or continue working with them.

  45. hbc*

    From the first post: “I asked my manager why he hadn’t let me know what was going on and he said he was going to let me know at lunch time (approximately five hours after the call came) and I could leave then.”

    From this one: “Manager said he’d stood up to get me, his phone had rung again, he had had to make a follow up call after that and then he’d forgotten about it about it until I came in for smoko.”

    Any tiny sliver of open-mindedness I had towards your old manager just disappeared. I don’t even care if he was lying the first time because he didn’t want to admit to being forgetful, or the second time because he was trying to save face, or both times because he was distracted watching porn–he is a liar who will say whatever he thinks will help him in the moment. I love how your company responded, but if your old manager has any potential to retaliate, I’d be getting away from that snake.

    1. Observer*

      I agree with you on the integrity issue. My first reaction when I read the original letter was basically “Either he’s a liar or a jerk – or both.” Now, we know FOR SURE that he’s a liar.

      1. sstabeler*

        no, we know he’s both- he’s a jerk for being so callous about his mistake. Had the manager shown any kind of remorse for the fact the horse had died, I would have more sympathy, but because he lied- and in such a way as to INCREASE the traumatic effect of what had happened by implying it was no big deal the horse had died.

        1. Observer*

          I agree. What I meant is that before, there was a possible thought that he’s not a liar “just” a jerk. Now, there is no doubt that he’s a liar. But, also no doubt that he’s a jerk…

    2. TootsNYC*

      And think how different the OP’s reaction would have been if he’d said, on that day, “Oh my God, I forgot, I got interrupted, and it just went clean out of my mind, I’m SO SORRY! I feel horrible, I’m so sorry, there’s no excuse!”

      She’d still be pissed, but…

    3. Liane*

      It doesn’t sound like it from the update. OP isn’t even working with him and his new job seems to be a demotion. Plus it probably is all over the jobsite that he did something so wrong, even if no details are known, that his bosses were ready to fire him on the spot.

  46. Moonsaults*

    It makes me feel better to know that this was some lower level management major screw up and that the big guns in the organization aren’t callously forgetful.

    I have had the times where I would stand up to do something, then automatically get pulled somewhere else. If that were the case here and they had forgotten to tell you until you came into their line of vision, then you get that “Oh my gosh, I was supposed to tell you something!” moment. I also have the decency to feel awful for forgetting, it was really the way the manager swept it away as a “well, mistakes happen, it’s no biggie.” that hurt most about the first post.

    I’m so glad that they also offered you therapy and paid the vet bills, they are good people. Sometimes a good company has those cruddy less than shiny apples among them, that’s for sure. I’m glad he was moved to a different position as well, anyone who cannot see an emergency for what it is shouldn’t be in any position of even a little elevated power in my opinion.

  47. fposte*

    I’m so glad that the company stepped up for you, OP. I’m also glad that you had a necropsy and a result that made the situation unequivocal; it’s terrible to lose a beloved animal, but the what-ifs can be particularly torturous.

  48. Justanotherthought*

    OP, although nothing can make up for the loss of your beloved mare, I am glad to hear your company is trying to handle this as best they can.

    Again, my condolences and I hope your heart starts to heal soon.

  49. Nina*

    As sad as it is that you lost your mare at all, I’m glad the company is trying to rectify the situation. Something that really stood out to me was when the grand-boss mentioned that people had been fired in the past for similar animal-related issues. That’s awful. I hope they make some changes so an awful incident like this doesn’t happen again.

    My condolences to you.

    1. sstabeler*

      I think it’s more a case of “IF an employee had failed to notify their supervisor of an animal-related emergency that caused the loss of the animal, what would happen to them?”- that is, it hasn’t happened before, but they know how they would react if it did. Basically, they were saying to the manager “if you were in charge of punishing someone who did what you did, what would you do?”

      1. Moonsaults*

        The OP states that two employees had been fired for animal welfare issues prior, they were outside issues not related to work. So it very much was a “I could fire you for this, an animal died because of your negligence, that goes against what we do here, I expect the employees to respect animals, etc.”

        Great Grand Boss concedes the point but also reminds union rep that they fired two employees last year for animal welfare related issues that occurred outside of work.

      2. Nina*

        I was referring to this part of the letter:

        Great Grand Boss concedes the point but also reminds union rep that they fired two employees last year for animal welfare related issues that occurred outside of work.

  50. Minister of Snark*

    I’m so sorry for the loss of your horse. But this a really good update. I’m so glad the Grandboss and GreatgrandBoss saw through your Manager’s crap and how his decision has negatively impacted the performance of an excellent employee.

  51. Sarah*

    Thank you so much for sharing the update with us. Although there is no happy ending really for something this traumatic, at least everyone else involved seemed to realize how awful it was and they took what steps they could to make things right with you.

  52. Observer*

    Your company sounds like a good place to work. I’m glad to hear it.

    Not only did they do the right thing, and not only do they get it. But they also get something that is a bit unique to the situation – ie that as an animal care place themselves, the manager had ZERO excuse to misunderstand the gravity of the situation and did have extra duty of care.

    1. sstabeler*

      not exactly- or rather, the manager had no duty of care to the HORSE- that is, even if the horse had pulled through, the manager would still be in deep trouble. The manager owed a duty of care to the employee to inform them promptly- but the fact that the horse died as a result is irrelevant legally.

      Its’ also, I imagine why the union rep chimed in- reminding the GB and GGB that the manager’s screwup was confined to not passing on the message- and how he is punished should reflect that.

      1. Observer*

        No, the boss obviously owed a duty to the employee. But, in their situation he ALSO owed a higher than normal duty to the horse. Note that when the union rep pointed out that the horse was not in the company’s care the Great Grand Boss “ reminds union rep that they fired two employees last year for animal welfare related issues that occurred outside of work.

        1. sstabeler*

          Actually, no- or rather, the duty the manager owed to the horse was a byproduct of the duyt to the employee. His duty of care was to pass the message on. That is his ONLY duty of care. ( this is important legally- if he owed an actual duty of care, he would have an obligation to make the decision on medical care himself. the issue is basically that he subverted the LW’s duty of care to the horse- that the LW was unable to ensure the horse didn’t suffer unnessecarily.

          1. designbot*

            I agree with Observer here. Any manager owes a duty to their employees, and yes it should be their primary duty. Because this company is in the field of animal care, they ALSO happen to owe a duty to the animals of the world–whether out of the goodness of their hearts, or simply to keep the company from looking bad.

            1. LBK*

              I think sstabeler is speaking in specific legal terms, not about moral responsibility. There is a distinct and objective difference there.

              1. sstabeler*

                pretty much- I’m more trying to emphasise that the boss is only in the wrong inasmuch as they took the decision from the LW- not quite the same as if they deliberately let a horse die horribly

      2. Alton*

        I don’t think he has to owe a duty of care to the horse in a legal sense for these expectations to exist. The OP mentions that people had been fired for animal welfare issues that occurred outside of work, for example. Generally, you would expect someone who works with animals to understand that a veterinary emergency can be very serious. Not only is it of interest to the company if someone displays lack of judgment in this regard, but it’s also harder for the manager to claim ignorance, which can play a role in how the mistake is viewed.

    2. EddieSherbert*

      I was really glad they addressed his attitude about the employee’s horse – I’d be pretty unnerved to work with any kind of animal agency where the higher-ups shrugged off animal care (or the lack thereof!).

  53. Charlotte, not NC*

    Is no one else skeeved by the union rep “switching sides” in the middle of the meeting? GB and GGB seem to be honestly trying to do right by OP, but the union rep seems like a slimeball.

    If you stay, OP, put some thought into whether you can trust this union rep.

    1. North Dakota Jones*

      If the manager is in the union, which some lower-mid-level managers are, the union rep might have had an obligation to chime in to support the manager.

    2. ginger*

      Yes. It’s been touched on above – but even if two employees are in the same union, if they have a dispute (which this is), the union should field two reps, as it’s a clear conflict of interest. Accept that the rep in this instance may have seen trouble for another member, but she should have flagged it rather than swapping sides.

  54. Joanna R*

    Oh wow. THIS is an excellent ending . . . well, a better ending is your poor horse did not pass, but I am moved at their insightfulness and willingness to do the Right Thing and make sure that you are emotionally and financially compensated. Thank you OP for sharing your update, and from the bottom of my heart my condolences for the loss of your sweet mare.

  55. Melody Pond*

    Wow. Kudos to Grand Boss and Great Grand Boss. It really sounds like they handled this perfectly.

    I really liked that the Great Grand Boss pointed out that other employees have been fired over animal welfare issues, even when those animals weren’t in the care of the organization. It sounds like animal care is crucial enough to the success of their organization, that when an employee’s negligent behavior harms an animal, even outside of the workplace, it’s a serious concern for the organization. And while they didn’t fire Manager, they moved him elsewhere in the organization and maybe limited some of his responsibilities – and thereby ensured that the OP would not have to work directly with that Manager again. Which I think is completely appropriate – given the huge loss of trust in that relationship. And even then, they are understanding enough that Grand Boss expressed supportiveness in the event that the OP just doesn’t want to work there, anymore, despite everything they’ve done to try to repair the damage – which, again, I think is totally appropriate.

    So glad for this satisfying update, though I know it doesn’t take away the huge loss OP’s life. :(

  56. KR*

    I’m so glad your work ancestors did what they could to make things right. (see what I did there) again, so sorry about your horse. She knew you loved her very much and had a good life in your care I’m sure.

  57. RVA Cat*

    This was the best resolution possible under the circumstances. I’m so glad your company had your back and that they paid the vet bill, and that your crappy manager was reassigned (hopefully demoted and put on a PIP).

    Also, I’m glad you had the union rep in your corner, even though he had to then switch to defending the jerk.

  58. North Dakota Jones*


    I never commented on your original post, because as a fellow-horse lover who has made some pretty strong bonds to horses (including a few that have passed on), I just couldn’t find the words. I’m glad that your company is doing right by you, and hope that helps in your grief.

    In the mean time, remember that just as your life was made richer by her presence, her life was better with you in it, and I’m sure she loved you. Some horses come into our lives and quickly go, but others leave hoof prints on our hearts.

  59. Aurion*

    This is the best resolution possible to a really crappy situation. I’m glad your Grandboss and Great Grandboss are reasonable people. Paid leave, psychiatrist, a good reference and understanding if OP doesn’t want to work anymore, mentions of firing other employees for animal-welfare issues… Grandboss and Great Grandboss definitely sound like people who understand the gravity of the situation and the importance of animals, not only to their business model, but overall.

    I’m really sorry for your loss, OP, but I’m glad you have these two people in your corner. (I would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall of the first conversation between GB and GGB. Oh, and fly on the wall for the conversation between GGB, Union Rep, and ex-Boss.)

  60. Erin*

    Wow, I’m so glad this ended up being handled well by the higher ups.

    Also, (not that it hugely matters with the hundreds of comments you probably went through), but I don’t think I expressed my sympathy well in my comment on the last post. I pretty much was like, “Yep, you should quit.” In retrospect it was kind of cold.

    I just wanted to say the post made me tear up and I really feel devastated for you. This is was a huge deal and what happened was not okay.

    I’m really relieved to hear that your higher ups are taking it seriously. I’m sure getting through that meeting while keeping it together was hugely difficult, and I commend you for saying what needed to be said in a professional manner.

  61. Lady Phoenix*

    I am so glad the company has given you so much support after this tragedy, even going above and beyond (by paying the vet bills). It’s also very nice that they directed you to a counselor to provide you with emotional support.

    I have mixed feelings about the manager staying there. His irresponsibility and lying I feel should have gotten him canned, but this was about an animal not under the company’s care so . . . hmmmm. At least you don’t have to deal with him scummy face anymore and he’s been removed from phone responsibility (maybe they saw him for valuable at a different task and THAT’S why they didn’t fire him?).

    If you are no longer experiencing any trauma from your job, I would definitely stay there. You have a great support system that cares for your well-being. I don’t think you should do a lot of overtime though, so as to give yourself some rest.

  62. AyBeeCee*

    Glad to hear that the company handled the aftermath so well.

    On a slightly unrelated note, I know it’s the automagical template at work, but it seems very odd to read “You may also like …my horse died because of my manager’s carelessness”. No, no I would not also like.

    1. sstabeler*

      maybe it should be changed to “you may also want to read…” ( if it’s a template, it shouldn’t be difficult to do- change “like” to “want to read” in the template HTML.)

  63. sstabeler*

    One thing that has occurred to me- I know we have the Worst Boss awards- and the Boss in this one (NOT Grandboss or GreatGrandBoss) is definitely a contender- but there should perhaps be an award for “Best Boss”- out of updates that report a successful resolution, these bosses stand out as examples of how you are SUPPOSED to handle it.

    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      From time to time this gets suggested, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it because we never really know enough about the situation. Someone could be great in one specific way, but also a horrible micromanager or breaking all kinds of labor laws or sexually harassing an employee or so forth. So I’m too wary of giving an official stamp of approval with such limited info.

      1. Not So NewReader*

        Am looking for the wording… but I am thinking of some type of recognition where a manager who does something that is exemplary to other managers.
        Ugh. Am reaching for an idea that I cannot fully explain. You know how people learn by listening to stories? And you know the expression leading by example. It’s along this vein, I am thinking of a collection of stories of managers, real life bosses, whose stories are solid examples of what good leadership looks like.
        This would help to resolve your concern about condoning every. single. thing. this boss does because the focus would be on the boss’ particular action in a given situation. We do have some moving stories here of bosses using their position and authority in good ways.
        OP’s story here about the horse is an example of a situation where there is no time machine to use to change the outcome. This means the gboss and ggboss are cut off from having an ideal response because they cannot fix this. What does a boss do when they cannot fix something that when horribly wrong? Some bosses would throw their hands up in the air and have no clue what to do. For a boss in an unfixable situation this story offers ideas of what can be done in the aftermath. And it looks like the big bosses were successful, OP is still working there and it looks like readers were definitely moved by their pull-out-all-the-stops response to this nightmare.
        It’s a teaching story.

      2. Aurion*

        Perhaps instead of “best bosses”, you could highlight commendable moments? Good judgement? Something like that. I agree with you that we don’t know enough about bosses to praise them as “best boss ever” overall (whereas the converse isn’t true, since there are bosses whose actions are so egregious that they are instantly “worst bosses” no matter what positives they have going for them), but we can probably highlight a few AAM bosses who have made exemplary judgement in that one issue.

      3. Best Boss Lady*

        By that reasoning the reverse is also true, and you should not be calling anyone the Worst Boss either!

        1. Aurion*

          Well, no, because some wrongs can be so egregious that it doesn’t matter what they’re doing right. If my boss demands for me to donate my liver or disrupt my chemotherapy treatment, I don’t care if they grant me autonomy on my work tasks or recognizes my performance, they are a terrible boss.

      4. Tiger Snake*

        In that case Alison, can we have a “Most Improved Boss” award? To measure cases like this one, where bosses/management have done wrong, BUT we then see specific action they’ve taken to try and rectify, make amends and improve themselves based on the issue or mistake they’d previously made?

        We’re not saying they’re great bosses, but I like the idea of a positive-feeling award for those that started off terribly but then seem to have started looking to fix themselves and the problems they made.

  64. TotesMaGoats*

    Wow. What a fantastic follow up. I think we all hope in all this awful situations that once higher ups are brought in that things will be done right and fixed and all will be well. So rarely does that happen. Except for you. So, that’s just wonderful to read. Can we have a best bosses award? Grand boss and great grand boss sound like really good people.

  65. AtomicCowgirl*

    I’m really glad it went the way it did. If it had been one of my horses I would have been hard pressed not to commit inappropriate physical violence against that manager. I’m sorry about your mare. She sounds like she was a lovely girl who was well loved.

  66. Fluke Skywalker*

    OP, your original letter had me in tears, so I’m relieved that the company realized the damage they’d done and took care of you. My stomach was in knots for you and what happened next! Take care of yourself, and I hope that things start to look up for you soon.

  67. Rebecca in Dallas*

    I don’t think I ever commented on the original post, but I was so glad to already see an update. I was even happier to read that it sounds like your company did their best to make it right. I’m so sorry for the loss of your horse but kudos to the grand-boss and great-grand-boss for doing the right thing.

  68. First time commenter, long time reader*

    OP, I would like to make a donation to a charity that supports horses in honor of your mare. Are you able to recommend one that does good work? And please accept my condolences, I’m so sorry for your loss.

  69. Jess*

    Oh my gosh. I am so, so sorry this happened to you. I hope the bosses’ sympathetic and compassionate response gives you some small comfort in this sad time.

  70. MissDisplaced*

    Oh dear! I’m so sorry. It was a really huge mistake (but apparently not intended or malicious) on the part of the first manager–they should have been extremely apologetic. But at least they did try to make it right somehow.

  71. Agile Phalanges*

    Still a tragedy, but this update makes it sound like the best possible outcome given the circumstances. If they paid the entire vet bill including necropsy, that is very generous indeed. Glad to hear your grand boss and great grand boss are much more human than your boss, and that he was likely demoted, or at least put where he can’t do nearly as much damage in the future. I’m so sorry for your loss, OP, and of course none of this makes it any better, really, but I hope it helps you be able to go to work without having to face the boss who bears the blame for your horse suffering longer than necessary. *hugs* again.

  72. Hrovitnir*

    I am so glad. I was really hoping this would be resolved well since you work in an animal related field! It doesn’t turn back time but it’s basically the best that could have happened outside of your manager not having done this in the first place.

  73. Brisvegan*

    I know I said this last time, but sorry again for your loss. It must be so hard to lose a beloved companion like your horse.

    I’m glad your management turned out to be so kind and decent.

    I’m also really relieved that they take such a hard line about animal welfare. I was concerned that an animal work organisation might have your former manager’s attitude. Glad to hear former manager is not representative of your organisation.

  74. harryv*

    Mic drop by the great grand boss. Unexpected good outcome considering the gravity of the story. Won’t bring back your mare but i think its the best outcome considering. Is this some race track stable?

  75. The Strand*

    A good resolution, but I am so so sorry about your loss. It’s so hard to lose a friend, a member of the family. Sending thoughts your way.

  76. TempestuousTeapot*

    I’m so happy to hear that your upper management has their heads on straight. They really do sound like good people to work for. After that first letter, I couldn’t even respond, I was so upset at your supervisor (seriously? What even?). I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your mare, and her suffering. But I am glad that you are getting the support you deserve right now. I hope things get better for you.

  77. LisaD*

    I’m so sorry about your mare. I’m an equestrian too and I lost my first mare to the same exact type of tumor you’re describing. Your post took me back to that news, and honestly I think I have never been quite the same since. No girl ever really gets over losing her childhood horse. I’m sorry you still have to see that manager around work, but I’m glad that your Great Grand Boss is a badass and understood exactly how awful the impact on you has been.

  78. Kms1025*

    Contrary to what I originally thought about your company when I read the first post, your company sounds awesome and just stumbled into a really really inept manager. I am so glad that upper management took this as seriously as it needed to be considered. I am still so sorry for your loss, but glad you can stay at your job (if that’s what won decide to do). Upper management really came thru as best they could and did everything they could do to help. Good for them and prayers for you.

  79. Mimmy*

    Meant to respond yesterday – thank you OP for the update. I think your company handled this respectfully all around. Sending you healing thoughts and wishes for better days ahead.

  80. Red In SC*

    Oh, wow, LW. Thank you for this update. I’m so glad you’re getting some assistance through the company Psych, that’s great. It’s good to hear that your company takes this kind of thing very seriously.

    And again, hugs for the loss of your horse.

  81. RCribb*

    While the loss of a beloved companion cannot be undone, I AM pleased that the company went to such great lengths to find out what you were feeling and why your work level dropped. This at least seems to acknowledge that you and your work are appreciated. I am also very pleased to hear that they gave you time off, made counseling available to you and that they paid your vet bill for you. Your managers actions were careless to the point of causing great harm but I salute the company for standing up and trying to make things right for you and it doesn’t feel like they did that just because they felt compelled out of fear of legal action. If you think you can continue to be happy there, I’d consider staying where your worth is recognized. Whatever your decision though, I am sorry for your loss.

  82. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock*

    I’m late to the party, but OP, I was so happy after reading this update that I started to get emotional. After having to go through an awful experience with a manager who did everything wrong, I am so relieved and happy for you that the higher ups did everything right. I hope this helps repair your relationship with your employer, and I hope they’re watching your manager closely going forward (and that your manager takes this as a real opportunity to be a better human).

  83. KJDubreuil*

    Could the name of this thread be changed to ‘my horse suffered . . .’ instead of ‘my horse died . . .’? Because as it turned out the horse would have died regardless of the manager’s actions. However if the LW had received a call earlier, the horse might have suffered less.

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