am I the annoying intern?

by Alison Green on October 3, 2018

This week on the Ask a Manager podcast, I talked to an intern who’s worried that she might be the annoying intern in her office. Here’s the letter:

I have been an intern with a small government agency for a month. I personally love the mission and work of this agency beyond words, and have contributed ideas and help wherever I can. My bosses have given me great feedback, and I am working on a number of projects that really excite me. I truly love it here—the work, the community, and the opportunities I’ve been given, none of which have included fetching coffee or manning the copier. (Although I’ve been clear I’m more than happy to do those things! Everyone here’s just very accustomed to doing their own “grunt work.”)

What I’m worried about is if my enthusiasm is in any way irritating. I want to make it clear to my coworkers that I know my place as an intern, and any ideas I have come from a place of curiosity and eagerness to learn, not because I think my way is the right way or that I should be in charge of any decision-making. They’ve given me so much autonomy that I’m terrified of overstepping the boundaries of my very entry-level position here and becoming “that intern” whose eagerness is actually irritating and pushy. At a conference, an older colleague remarked they didn’t have my “gumption” when they were my age, and while I believe it was intended as a compliment, the word “gumption” is forever tainted from hours of reading your advice and crappy articles that encourage gimmicky ways to “get your foot in the door” or “show initiative.”

How do I avoid coming across as over-confident and annoying while still showing my enthusiasm for my position? I appreciate any guidance you’re willing to give—AAM has saved me countless mistakes and cringy “young professional”-type errors as I navigate my first internship. Thank you!

The show is 26 minutes long, and you can listen on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever else you get your podcasts (or here’s the direct RSS feed). Or you can listen right here:

Or, if you prefer, here’s the transcript.

You may also like:
{ 92 comments }

{ 92 comments… read them below }

  1. Detective Amy Santiago*

    I listened to this earlier and I have two things I want to say to the OP.

    #1 – There is a saying that “only the sane will question their sanity” that I think kind of applies. If you’re questioning whether or not you’re being annoying, I think you’re far less likely to actually be annoying.

    #2 – More specifically to your situation, don’t let the lack of initiative on the part of your fellow interns drag you down. You sound like a bright employee with a lot of potential. From the feedback you mentioned getting from your boss, I would venture a guess that you are the type of intern they prefer. So keep doing what you’re doing and don’t worry too much about what your peers think of you. This is your opportunity to learn and grow and there is nothing wrong with getting as much out of the experience as you can. It will only help you in your career.

    1. LW*

      Thank you! I just want to make sure I express that the other interns are genuinely doing a great job, they’re just more reserved about it than I am–part of the reason I worry I’m annoying in comparison, since they’re great without being so enthusiastic/excited/suggesting and asking things as often.

      1. Detective Amy Santiago*

        Depending on your industry, that could still limit them and help you shine, so embrace it!

    1. Lil Fidget*

      That’s exactly what I was thinking. The people who really need this advice – aren’t going to ask the question. Everyone expects a little naive enthusiasm from an intern, nobody’s going to hold it against you.

      1. NotAnotherManager!*

        Strong second on this. My best folks are the most concerned; the people that should be concerned are blissfully oblivious.

    1. Detective Amy Santiago*

      Oh are we having this conversation again? Alison has explained numerous times why it’s not feasible for her to provide a transcript along with the podcast. There is a link to the transcript for last week’s episode and you could discuss that here.

    2. It's me*

      just…… read the transcript from last weeks episode? She posts the link below every current podcast episode

    3. Falling Diphthong*

      You don’t need to take the time to read through the entry and post a comment to say that you don’t have time to listen to a podcast right now. (Or can’t listen to podcasts and so can’t follow along in real time, only with transcripts.) It’s a spoken medium rather than written; good for times when your hands and eyes are occupied (cooking, driving) but not useful in contexts where you want to scan at your own pace.

      I listen to 538’s podcasts, but I don’t sent them real-time updates like “Hey guys you posted this emergency podcast when I’m busy and can’t listen!” Wednesdays midday a link to the AAM podcast will go up; you can skip those along with anything saying “tax forms” in the headline.

    4. Bea*

      We’re lucky she does transcripts at all. As someone who’s done transcription, it’s a a hellish craptastic thing that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

    5. JenP*

      Providing a transcript is a nice way to make things accessible for the hearing impaired. For some of us, it’s not a “nice to have”.

      1. Ask a Manager* Post author

        This has been discussed thoroughly in the past and I’m not re-opening debate on it here, but there are indeed transcripts posted every single week; they’re just one week behind the show itself. (And I continue to find it weird that I get so many complaints about this, as a one-person site, when tons of bigger, more-resourced sites than this one don’t do transcripts at all and don’t seem to be fielding constant complaints about it. I encourage you to shift the pressure to sites with more resources and who aren’t providing transcripts at all!)

        1. irene adler*

          Allison, it means you’ve been providing a higher level of service (for which we greatly appreciate!). When that happens, folks can get into the mindset of always expecting more. Sometimes they don’t think about what ‘more’ involves.

        2. Bea*

          I was going to offer to do transcripts for you until I tried helping a friend and found out how terrible the process made me feel. I would rather have dental surgery tbh.

          It just goes to show some people are never happy with what anyone offers for free services. The majority of us are grateful for the venue and advice.

          1. Not my real name*

            She’s not really doing all of this for free, you know. We are her product, she is essentially selling us to her ad network, this blog is how she makes a living, which is totally legit, but it’s disingenuous to say she’s doing it for free.

            I’m not saying she has to post transcripts, but stop pretending that she’s doing this as a public service out of the goodness of her heart.

            1. Ask a Manager* Post author

              Of course. I’m not doing it for free (although I did for many, many years in the beginning). It’s free to you. There’s no subscription model here, etc. (Also, for what it’s worth, this blog is not really “how I make a living.” It earns money, but it’s not my primary job.)

        3. JSPA*

          So, we all know the “how” and the “what.” And of course, it’s fair to do whatever you want to do; this is your site, not a democracy.

          But that’s not the same as knowing why and whether–or even having a sense that there is an actual “why,” even if we’re not privy to it.

          There’s generally nothing super topical on the show. If transcripts can be made available following a week’s delay, it seems like it should be possible to skip one week’s audio release, and then release the podcast and the transcript concurrently the next week, so that the transcript and the audio are “in synch.” It would be a kindness not only for the audio challenged but for those who for whatever reason are not able to stream audio (as well as theoretically more “eco,” in that bandwidth = energy usage).

          I can invent a dozen reasons why this might not be simple. Maybe transcript views don’t count for podcast statistics and is thus frowned upon by podcasters. Maybe there’s an automated service that can only be done after the podcast is posted and made generally accessible. Maybe elves. I don’t presume that it’s equally easy, and I don’t need to know why it’s not, if it’s not.

          But if “audio now, transcript next week” is a default borrowed over from live shows, then there’s no real reason a podcast has to follow that “delayed transcript” model. If it actually is equally easy, then…why not? I figure you agree that deaf people (and in different ways, poor people with crappy bandwidth) have enough to deal with, that can’t be leveled. If this is level-able, why not be magnanimous with giving people an equal chance to participate in real time? It’s really pretty sad to think of an underclass haunting the week-old podcasts.

          Finally, I don’t understand the level of righteous anger directed at the deaf people here for being unhappy about the status quo, as if they somehow just fail to understand the pattern).

          This isn’t stupidity. It’s a (frankly, gentle) repeated reminder that we have two sets of drinking fountains here. And, that while we’re all glad for the water–we’re all getting access–we’re maybe not all comfortable with the way the two classes of access work out.

          Thought experiment, to drive the problem home: Imagine a podcast dealing with deafness in the workplace. And the comments would include…only the opinions and feedback from non-deaf people.

          Sure, the “point” of the advice here is people getting your advice. But a lot of OP’s actively respond to the advice from your community members as well.

          2. Amber Rose*

            That drinking fountain analogy would be true if Alison wasn’t posting multiple written posts every day. The podcast is a single post per week. And you aren’t denied access to it, only delayed.

            People aren’t mad at the hearing impaired for being disappointed. It’s the entitlement, antagonism and straight up rudeness that people are pushing back against. So far, yours is the only post that hasn’t written about the issue in a way that didn’t attack Alison directly, and it still comes off as entitled.

            1. Natalie*

              How is the opening post “I end up skipping these because there is no transcript.” a direct attack on Alison?

              1. Amber Rose*

                Because it’s a passive aggressive snipe. There’s no reason to even post it except to try and play the guilt game.

            2. Leslie knope*

              I frankly really don’t see why “you can’t access these, but you can read the other articles!” Is an argument. Like…the issue is with the podcasts, not the other posts.

              It’s also really disappointing as someone with hard of hearing family members that Allison and the people defending her are so dismissive about this. There really is no logical reason the transcript and podcast can’t be posted together, and the defensiveness is just kind of over the top. Maybe instead of trotting our the same argument every time there should be an attempt to actually listen to the deaf people telling you that this bothers them? It’s not like the podcasts are the meat of the blog anyway, like you said, right? Why can’t you just post them a week later?

          4. Guy Incognito*

            I’m sorry, but the racism metaphor is just too much. It really is. It’s borderline offensive, and it devalues people who were beaten and killed for using the wrong water fountain, not because they didn’t get their podcast on time.

            A few points:
            1. There are dozens of transcription services that are available for free for anyone. I found several by putting it into Google before coming here.
            2. Allison is a one woman operation, and posts frequently throughout the week.
            3. This is not a podcast dealing with deafness in the workplace. I’d argue that would be a terrible subject for this medium, as would a vegan restaurant that specializes in waygu beef. Not every medium works for everyone and every situation. It just doesn’t. That doesn’t make it wrong or right or discriminatory, that’s just life. Everyone is trying there best here: She is not trying to exclude you. In fact, she’s going out of her way to make things better, when she doesn’t have to. Allison doesn’t have to include transcripts, much like the many, many, many, many, many other shows that don’t do it as a default.
            4. You’re right, there’s nothing super topical on this show. I missed last week’s Slow Burn, didn’t hurt me to start it up again this week. Podcasting isn’t the same as radio call in shows or live shows. You can go back a week. Or a month. I just got done with Unpopular Opinion’s backlog. Get the transcript for that, it’s funny.
            5. Out of all the advice columns, Allison is probably only second to Captain Awkward when it comes to considering all of her readers. To complain about this – that it’s a week late on the transcript she provides but doesn’t have to because of the many free transcription services out there – is nitpicking in the wrong direction. ESPECIALLY with an offensive racism comparison.
            6. There are multiple points to start up or join in the conversation later. These stay open, and you can get notifications that people respond. Or start a thread in one of the two spaces Allison provides for free for alls: “Let’s discuss last week’s podcast via transcript.”
            7. There is a lot to fight right now. There’s a lot to battle there’s a lot to be angry about. This is not one of them.
            8. People of Color were beaten for using the wrong water fountain. You’re a week late on getting a podcast that does not include any vital information that you absolutely need this week. This week was about an intern with enough awareness for self reflection. Getting Allison’s take while she talks to the person is interesting, but she has covered similar things before.

        5. RegrettableProtests*

          To let you know, my reaction to these when I prefer to read (and already have a podcast backlog of things to listen to) is, “That’s neat she does that but I prefer to read, I’ll just read the posts!” So I think complaining is unfair :)

          1. RegrettableProtests*

            For the record, I meant those who complain and don’t have hearing issues… unclear. Just expressing appreciation! :)

        6. pleaset*

          It might be helpful to explain this higher up in these kinds of posts and more explicitly. It’s implied that the transcript will be available in a week, but not said explicitly.

    6. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock*

      There’s a transcript—it just appears during the following week. So if you want to review the discussion, just look for Alison’s podcast post next Wednesday, which will link to today’s podcast’s transcript.

      1. Ask a Manager* Post author

        I’m sorry, but no. I am a one-person site. I have limited resources. Podcasting is a different medium than the written word; it’s meant to be listened to, not read. But I still provide transcripts because people asked for them. They just come one week later.

        Meanwhile, I provide 18 other posts a week here that aren’t in audio format. For free. Which, frankly, is already a huge amount of content for one person to provide.

        Please take the complaints to the many, many major podcasts — and television broadcasts and radio and movies and other media — that don’t provide transcripts at all despite having far more resources than I have. I am doing what I can.

        1. BRR*

          I’m sorry other people keep doing this to you. It’s so incredibly above and beyond for you to provide transcripts.

        2. Hiring Mgr*

          I don’t have an iPod any longer, so i have no way to access a podcast (i had one several years ago, but my phone has since taken its place)

          1. Joielle*

            If you have a phone that can play music, you can probably get podcasts on it. Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, etc. all have apps. Or even through a web browser, you can click the link on this page.

      2. Detective Amy Santiago*

        Seriously??? It’s 1 post out of 19 per week of free content that Alison provides. I hardly think that’s being treated as a “second class citizen”. Most podcasts don’t provide transcripts at all.

      3. A Nonny Mousse*

        Oh. My. Goodness. This is one post out of the numerous that Alison makes each week that you will not have access to immediately. You will get a transcript next week. As Alison said herself, she is ONE PERSON doing everything and plenty of larger and better staffed podcasts do not offer one at all. Please stop with playing the victim here, it takes nothing to not make a snarky comment on her content.

        1. Leslie knope*

          Um, yikes. Disabled people talking about lack of accessibility is not them “playing victim.”

          2. n*

            no they are, because they’re complaining about something that happens just a week later, and not taking the time to read the numerous reasons why she can’t provide the transcript at the same time.

      4. Bea*

        Well I personally never listen to them or read transcripts because I don’t like podcasts (no joke.). If we’re making this all about the outliers, I’ll throw in my vote to just cancel the show because I can’t happily participate. Also only questions that interest me, Alison, I’m tired of not being treated like the most important person ever to visit this blog!!!

      5. Liet-Kinda (nee Snark)*

        As a fellow hearing impaired person, holy crap, would you please de-escalate. You, we, are NOT being treated as second-class citizens here and it is perfectly ridiculous to suggest that we are.

        1. Courageous cat*

          I’m sorry because if this was a big corporate blog or something then I could get it, but do you honestly feel attacked because one person can’t immediately transcribe everything? Like, let the woman live. She’s well within her right to… record a podcast once a week.

    9. Courageous cat*

      I mean I skip them for that reason too, but what’s the objective of this comment, to get her to stop making podcasts? I’m perfectly happy to just let people enjoy the podcasts and I will enjoy the written content, so I don’t get it.

  4. RandomPoster*

    I kept waiting for a reference to Imposter Syndrome. This intern has clearly excelled in her role as they’ve asked her to stay on (remotely, even!) and has received reassurance from her manager that she’s doing well and acting appropriately for the organization and situations. Some worry is normal, but mdon’t let your own doubts about your abilities and skills keep you from taking advantage of this great opportunity that you have in front of you.

    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      I actually don’t think this is imposter syndrome. She’s not really worried that she’s not good enough. She’s just worried that she might be annoying people!

      1. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock*

        This doesn’t sound like Dunning Kruger, though. Isn’t Dunning Kruger when someone of low performance overestimates and thinks they’re an expert? The intern seems to be experiencing the inverse (they’ve excelled, received praise, and been asked to stay on—those are indicators that their performance is good, not inept).

        1. feministbookworm*

          well, it’s both. It’s that low performers overestimate, and high performers underestimate their knowledge and competence– to quote from Dunning and Kruger, “”the miscalibration of the incompetent stems from an error about the self, whereas the miscalibration of the highly competent stems from an error about others.”

          1. feministbookworm*

            and I meant this mostly as an echo of the many comments both Alison and other commenters have made, that people who actually are annoying don’t know they’re annoying, and if you’re pausing to ask yourself and others about your competence you’re probably doing OK.

            1. Someone Else*

              I think annoyingness and competence are not mutually exclusive. You can be competent, and know it, but still be concerned that people find you irritating (due to not-competence-related reasons).

  5. Adele*

    Just for perspective on if the OP is the annoying intern (i don’t think so but just in case). I would much rather be thinking ‘oh they will calm down when they get in the swing of it’ than feeling they aren’t engaged. So actually I really think this one goes into the ‘no down sides’ column. :)

  6. BRR*

    My takeaway from this is that the LW is not the annoying intern. The LW works with the type of person who is annoyed by any amount of enthusiasm about work and fellow interns who think that this reflects poorly on them by comparison. The thing is, these people (more so the first) don’t like any amount of enthusiasm no matter how little it is. So you will never win. I say go forth and be enthusiastic about work, it’s very nice for other people to be around a positive attitude. It sounds like you’re aware of not going overboard with brainstorming ideas so I think you’re good.

      1. BRR*

        I was getting the impression the LW might have been getting some side eye from people lower in the org structure but that others, including everyone above her, was thrilled with her work and enthusiasm. But I can see interpreting things incorrectly since I listen before my morning coffee.

        1. Lance*

          If she is (which is very possible, mind)… then the key thing to remember is that’s on them. Maybe they want people to just quietly do their work, maybe they don’t want to get shown up, and see her as someone that might move past them soon (which could indeed end up happening)… but if the higher-ups are pleased, then clearly she’s doing something right.

    2. PieInTheBlueSky*

      My impression is that the LW was a bit concerned that she was acting differently from the other interns, not that the other interns were sniping or bringing her down in any way. The other interns might not be doing anything wrong either, so far as we know. Perhaps they act differently because they have a very different role than the LW, like they look at spreadsheets all day or something.

      1. LW*

        They’re in the same overall department but in different offices, if that makes sense–but their roles are definitely different and they do all have different supervisors/more defined daily duties than I do, which may contribute to how frequently I’m able to ask for new projects/suggest more work for myself in comparison.
        Also, they aren’t sniping/bringing me down, they’re all very nice and do go above and beyond in their own ways, but they’re less extroverted/constantly enthusiastic about it (which is a large part of why I was worried my questioning-suggesting-excited-talking-more type of doing of a good job was more annoying than their more tempered way of doing a good job).

  7. female peter gibbons*

    Hi Alison, I’m a reader, not a listener. Is there any way you can start attaching the transcripts of the podcasts to their actual podcast articles, too? Retroactively? Or is there something I’m missing? I like to look up your articles and they usually link to the transcript of the podcast the week BEFORE. But how can I find the transcript of the article I’m actually looking at?

      1. female peter gibbons*

        I just want to make it clear that I know transcripts take a lot of time, but I meant if I was looking up last week’s podcast it’d be cool to have that transcript attached to it, that’s all. (After the fact). But I think that might be asking too much. And maybe not many readers look up old articles, not sure.

  8. From the High Tower on the Hill*

    As someone who works in government and frequently with interns, I always love seeing young people that are interested in and enthusiastic about government. It is a refreshing change of pace for a lot of us more seasoned people in the field who can tend to be a bit tired of the politics of it all. More often than not, a lot of interns tend to “stay in their lane” and are afraid to ask about projects or look for more challenging work. Granted I don’t know specifically what kind of work that you are doing or what department, but in my experience lending an extra hand is always a good thing to do and will lead to good things in return. I always have extra-glowing references for the interns that go above and beyond and do treat it as a job. Keep up the great work and you will go far.

    1. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock*

      Cosigned. I find enthusiasm—especially when matched with self-control and positive performance—to be rejuvenating. It can be contagious, and it reminds me of why I love my job. The Intern sounds like she’s at an office that values her enthusiasm and contributions. It’s really refreshing to do work that excites you, and it doesn’t sound like she’s going overboard.

      1. From the High Tower on the Hill*

        I would always rather an intern be overly excited and ask too many questions rather than being unengaged in the work and just not striving to make the internship a learning experience which is what I have usually ended up with. Absolutely agree with you as well, the excited intern reminds me of how awesome my work is.

    2. LW*

      This is very reassuring, thank you! I really love what I’m doing and, based on these comments, I feel more confident in being open about my enthusiasm (within reason, of course).

  9. Jaybeetee*

    Regarding last week’s question (I’m one of those transcript people): I’m also a fast worker. I’ve been a fast worker through a wide variety of jobs over the years, and was also a fast worker in school (I was usually the first one done during tests, and still got As and Bs). In the past, I did occasionally have quality issues as a result of this tendency, but that hasn’t been the case for several years now – my last few jobs, I’ve received good performance reviews and my errors have been minimal. And your incident of getting randomly pulled into an office and fired one day for slacking off is kinda my nightmare. Like you, I often have a lot of downtime in my jobs.

    I agree with Alison that the best thing you can do is Name The Thing, and ask your boss how best to handle it. That you work fast, you tend to have time on your hands during slow periods, you’re open to more projects but what else should you be doing in those periods?

    One final suggestion, again based on my experience: I now have a job that’s more about long-term projects instead of assorted tasks throughout the day or things you have to wait on, and that makes a big difference. I’m still hearing that I seem to be moving through this project at a good clip (even with, uh, internet breaks like this one throughout the day), but it doesn’t leave me with *enforced* nothing-to-do downtime. If you have an opportunity to move into a position like that, you might find it much more satisfying.

    1. Detective Amy Santiago*

      As a fellow fast worker, do you find yourself pacing out your work to fill X # of hours per day where X = less than the # of hours you actually work? I feel like if I worked at my normal pace even for longer term projects, I would be done so early.

      1. Jaybeetee*

        Yeah, sometimes. Where I currently work, projects can routinely take several months/up to a year. I basically have an idea in my own mind of how much I’ll get done in a particular day, and lately I’m often finishing that ahead of time, even with built-in downtime throughout the day. I’m still getting slightly surprised reactions when people find out where I’m at, so even now I think I’m working a bit faster than expected (though part of that might be my own working style – I’m more or less considering this my “first pass” and will go back and do a lot of organizing/clean-up later. I suspect a lot of people here are much more thorough as they work, and then do minimal clean-up later. I don’t think my way will be a problem, as it still won’t leave my hands until I’m satisfied with the quality, but I don’t think my “methods” are usual here.) I also have a rhythm where I know I’m just less productive in the mornings (ADHD), but as the day goes by I get more focused and am able to get through a lot more stuff.

        Overall, I wish we had the kind of working world where I could put in 6 hours or so and call it a day – without slacking off, I could probably get most people’s 8 hours done in 6. But that’s me being idealistic. I do have to say my current employer does offer me a good amount of independence and flexibility in what I’m doing, as long as it gets done, but I imagine routinely leaving work 2 hours early would be a bridge too far!

    2. TheNotoriousMCG*

      I am also a quick worker, and my failing has usually been attention to detail. I frequently have to remind myself once I finish a project to loop back and take a good look at it with fresh eyes. For those who don’t have my failing I know how mouth it can get to just wait for work! I think that Naming the Thig is great and I think it’s also important to bring it back to attention if the boss eventually falls to the wayside on remembering that you are open for more

  11. gecko*

    So I would find this comforting & validating, sorry if it is not actually so, but I think the LW is socially astute enough that her perceptions of a bit of social friction are correct.

    For instance, I trust that there’s a little friction with the fellow interns: I’d guess that LW’s fellow interns chafe a little bit because she’s Hermione Granger-ing and not being shy about how smart and engaged she is.

    I also suspect that LW is getting a little bit extra attention from coworkers for a variety of reasons: she’s really good, she’s not behaving like the other interns, and she may still have student-y habits of interacting that are visibly distinct from coworker-y habits.

    It’s really good to be aware of this friction, and it’s really important to be able to judge–as the LW was struggling to do–whether it’s bad “people are annoyed” friction or good “I am not standing with the crowd” friction. Honestly, as uncomfortable as it is, I hope LW learns to seek out this kind of friction, learns how to tolerate it, and learns how to distinguish it from the bad friction, because I think she’ll go extraordinarily far.

    1. LW*

      This is really well-said, and I’ll keep it in mind as I continue with my internship (and work/life in general!). Thank you!

  12. MP*

    I listened to the podcast, and I agree with all the advice she gave the intern. I think you’re great, enthusiastic, and will have a bright career wherever you desire (pending random things that can happen to a person but such is life). Please don’t let the envy of the other interns get you down. I have a feeling you’re going to experience that quite a bit in life. HOWEVER – I did pick up on something that you could work on, since you were seeking feedback. You did this weird thing to Alison, kind of like brown-nosing, but not quite. You so clearly were seeking Alison to say “yes, you’re wonderful, everything you do is perfect, you’re better than the rest of the interns”. So clear to me – in your original question, in the follow-up questions as you talked, how you described the other interns. You *kinda* came up with a not-real question for Alison (“am I the annoying intern?”), with the result that Alison praised you to high heavens. I actually found you to be super irritating because of this, this was my least favorite of Alison’s podcasts, and was hard to listen to (but I was bored driving in the car so kept listening anyway). I wonder do you do this with your bosses? Is that why you’ve sensed that the other interns might not like you? Just something to think about – are you seeking out praise from authority figures? FYI – I’m EXACTLY like this myself, so any judgement I’m passing on you and I’ve passed on to myself too. And it might not be a bad thing career-wise anyway! Good way to get ahead actually.

    1. LW*

      Hi, LW here. I’m sorry I came across that way–I swear it wasn’t intentional but I can see what you mean and will be cognizant of it. I truly wanted to know if I was irritating, because I feel irritating a lot of the time and sort of suck at determining when I’m actually annoying/overexcited/overstepping and when I’m just nervous I am. I have issues with anxiety and this is something I’m working on. Thanks for your feedback.

      1. LW*

        I also want to add I think I came across less complimentary about the other interns than I am–they really are great, they’re just less extroverted than I am, and they do exceptional work and go above and beyond, too, they’re just less–openly excited/vocal about it than I am, which is a big part of the reason I thought I might be annoying, because the other interns don’t ask as many questions but they’re great interns.

    3. Courageous cat*

      Yikes. Who says things like “I found you to be super irritating” to someone earnestly seeking advice? I would think it would be better to limit this kind of talk to yourself rather than projecting your insecurities onto others, as you seem to be admitting you’re doing in your last few sentences. It’s also pretty disingenuous (and maybe downright passive-aggressive?) to sandwich that insult between two really nice things. It does not offset your message. I hope you don’t treat your coworkers like this, either.

  14. Marty*

    “At a conference, an older colleague remarked they didn’t have my “gumption” when they were my age, and while I believe it was intended as a compliment, the word “gumption” is forever tainted”

    OP, I’m an old bird. In my language, this is a compliment. It’s always best to take comments at face value unless there are underlying red flags that indicate sarcasm or other ill intent. Don’t be your own enemy.

    1. LW*

      Thank you! It really did seem like a genuine compliment at the time, but I couldn’t shake the “gumption” stigma I’ve picked up from AAM—but Alison’s advice and your reassurance will help me to not automatically assume the worst in the future.

  15. Ask a Manager* Post author

    I’m closing comments on this post. I’ve said a few times I’m not re-opening debate on the question of transcripts and that’s been roundly ignored (which is partly my fault for responding, but at this point it’s out of control and taking over the post).

    This has been discussed many, many times, with the same points and the same responses each time. At this point, the topic of how transcripts are timed is officially and permanently closed. I will repeat that I’m a one-person site, that I provide a huge amount of other content every week that no one here is paying for, and that I am providing transcripts (unlike the majority of shows), just one week after the show originally airs.

    I am doing what I can. I’m sorry it’s not more, but it’s not up for continued debate week after week.

Comments are closed.