where are you now? (a call for updates)

At the end of each year, I publish a slew of “where are they now” updates from people whose questions I answered here in the past. In past years we’ve had several hundred each December and it was amazing (and has let me take most of the month off, so thank you).

If you’ve had your question answered here in the past, please email me an update and let us know how your situation turned out. Did you take the advice? Did you not take the advice? What happened? How’s your situation now?  (Don’t post your updates here though; email them to me.)

Note: Your update doesn’t have to be positive or big to be worth submitting. We want to hear them all, even if you don’t think yours is that interesting.

And if there’s anyone you especially want to hear an update from, mention it here and I’ll reach out to those people directly.

{ 266 comments… read them below }

    1. Anonys*

      It truly is – and it’s so wonderful that updates are such a big part of this blog and that so many people actually send them. I enjoy a couple of other advice columns but one of the things which really sets AAM apart is that elsewhere you rarely ever get to know how a situation turned out. I like that Alison actively reaches out to people as well.

  1. getaway_girl*

    I would like to know if the supervisor whose former intern ghosted on her job (the archived letter that you reposted yesterday) ever reached out to the intern, and if they ever found out what had happened. I checked the archives but didn’t see an update for that one. If I missed it, my apologies!

  2. Missing my office cardigan*

    Is it weird that this annual call for updates is the only thing makes me think this year might actually come to an end?

  3. DANGER: Gumption Ahead*

    Oh jeez, so many! Off the top of my head:

    Today’s LW whose boss wants her available on her honeymoon
    The owner’s wife who questioned giving money for the holidays – be nice to hear what they decided to do
    The person who wanted to get more complaints/feedback from employees
    Weird lie boss
    LW with employee that kept missing work due to COVID exposures

      1. Dennis Feinstein*

        Also, after yesterday, I must hear the outcome of the nut allergy + horrible bosses and coworkers.

    1. retail is detail*

      I’d love to hear more about Weird Lie Boss! Definitely a contender for Worst Boss of the Year….

    2. Jackalope*

      This is a small update given that we already mostly know what happened, but there was the LW earlier this year whose co-worker was trying to keep him from taking his honeymoon by saying she had to go to her cousin’s wedding in Florida, and was trying to blackmail him with having seen him at a grocery store on a sick day. We know the conclusion of the work bit, but I was rereading that one this week and realizing that it all happened in the very end of the Before Time, and was hoping the wedding worked out well despite COVID. Not exactly work stuff, but if he wanted to chime back in I’d love to hear from him.

    1. fhqwhgads*

      There was an update to that one, I’m pretty sure. Unless there are two chemo appointment bosses.

        1. Alex*

          I can’t find it but I distinctly remember reading it! Gahhh. Now I want to re-read it because I vaguely recall a good outcome but that the way it came about surprised me at the time. If it’s the one I’m thinking of?

    2. Caroline Bowman*

      I missed that one but… wow. I cannot. That is really, really insane.

      What’s worse than having cancer and going through awful chemo? Well! Having a boss surveil you to make sure you are in fact sick and doing what you say you are doing!

  4. CDel*

    The boss who peed in the jars! I MUST know what was going on there.
    Also the boss who randomly made things up about her employees, would love to know if that was sorted out at all.

    1. Karma Geddon*

      If it’s the same one I’m thinking of, there was a Pee Boss update last December.
      If anything has happened since then I’d be keen for an update though!

      1. CDel*

        There was an update, but it was basically “no one had said anything, we just accept this gross thing now”. I’d love to know if they ever figured out why he was doing it!

  5. Mallory Gallery*

    It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

    I have 3 letters I would like to request updates on:

    -The owner’s wife who wasn’t sure if giving money as a gift was a good move despite the employees wanting the cash

    -The friend who gave a stellar reference because they wanted to get rid of a problematic employee [the employee later got arrested if I recall correctly]

    -The office nurse who didn’t believe in COVID-19 and thinks it is a hoax

    1. Alex*

      Is it wrong of me to hope Gary has been pushed out of the company and/or had other bad things befall him? He was so deeply unkind in a gross patriarchal way that he reminded me strongly of the worst guys I’ve ever worked with. I brought my own baggage to reading that letter — I’m still mad for OP.

  6. NerdyPrettyThings*

    I definitely want to hear from the Lysol one, and also the manager from not long ago whose boss thinks their direct reports have had enough time to get used to remote learning and should have child care, office space, etc, sorted out by now.

      1. Database Developer Dude*

        I’m afraid I don’t have an exciting update on the Lysol situation. I went to the sprayer’s boss, who said he’d do something and didn’t. The entire office was toxic, and I was lucky to escape it three months later to a place where I’m the lone DBA and they actually listen to me. And no one sprays me with Lysol.

        1. NerdyPrettyThings*

          Thank you!! As Allison said, any update is better than no update. I’m so glad you have moved on to greener pastures!

  7. Professor X*

    The person who wrote a story about their co-worker and it was still following her around years later. My other one, though not from this year, is the one where someone quit when a new manager was hired because they had worked with the manager before and claimed she was a nightmare.

  8. Insert Clever Name Here*

    It’s an old one, but I so want to know what happened to the LW whose boss was making everyone get tested to see if they were a kidney donor match for the boss’s brother.

    1. WellRed*

      Yes to this one and also the one where an employee kept posting naked pictures of themselves online that were taken in the office and on the clock.

  9. Fran*

    Oooh! I want to hear from the OP whose co-worker potentially lied about having a sick kid and the OP who hired someone based on a reference that turned out to be all false.

    1. EvilQueenRegina*

      There were two potential sick kids – the one from this year had an update in the comments saying the coworker was no longer an employee. There was one from two years ago about someone with a sick kid and a rich fiance, and someone spoke to the woman’s mother who said it wasn’t true, I don’t think that got an update.

  10. Karma Geddon*

    The recent letter where a coworker slept with the OP’s boyfriend. I felt so bad for her and I really hope she’s doing ok.

  11. Ali G*

    Cheap ass rolls!!!!
    I know, it’s not likely.
    Also, the woman that was “flirting with” (or sexual harassing) the teenage intern. I hope she was able to turn it around.
    And yes to the lying boss!

  12. Kara S*

    I’d love to hear from the LW who wrote the story about their coworker that is still following her around. I would also love to hear from the LW whose boss basically said they could move if their current WFH setup wasn’t working for them (I think this one was last week?)

    1. Katniss Evergreen*

      YES! This poor LW was so desperate to get out of their situation that they were putting up with crazy long meetings from a company who really didn’t seem to care that that was WAY too much to ask of a job candidate. I hope that had a better ending.

  13. Teekanne aus Schokolade*

    I need an update on the office who was trying to accommodate an employee’s OCD by controlling everyone’s wardrobe and making everyone line up with alternating genders at the bus stop. If 2020 can give anything good, it would be a resolution to THAT lol.

        1. Former Employee*

          I missed this one. I hope that the OP and their co-workers explained how ADA should work to their management, though why that should be on the employees I have no idea.

          If that didn’t resolve to issue, I guess that one way to accommodate Casey is for everyone who works with them to leave so there is no one around to trigger Casey.

      1. Just Another Zebra*

        Was there? How did I miss it? Because I desperately need to know what happened.

        It’s the little things

    1. Caroline Bowman*

      Okay, I missed that one too so am going to need a link to the original story and then yes, an update.

  14. Hills to Die On.*

    This is like seeing the presents under the tree. You don’t have anything yet but you can see them!

  15. Isabella*

    I’m dying to hear about the employee who was getting blackmailed by her coworker into coming to work during her honeymoon over a sick day ‘misuse’

    1. Slinky*

      There was an update to that. It was posted in the comments, but Alison later made it a stand-alone post. Try putting “blackmail” and “honeymoon” in the search bar and it should come up.

        1. fhqwhgads*

          You forgot because it happened the first week of March 2020. In other words, 8 million years ago.

  16. Alex*

    I want an update to the manager whose employee accidentally posted porn to the company chat room and was threatening to quit.

  17. Frank Doyle*

    Hoo boy, I’ve been saving links! Most of these aren’t particularly salacious, but you gave very specific, actionable advice and I’m extremely curious about what happened if the letter writers followed that advice.


    https://www.askamanager.org/2020/10/my-replacement-doesnt-want-me-to-stop-helping-him-candidates-who-dont-send-thank-yous-and-more.html (the first letter)










    https://www.askamanager.org/2019/10/my-office-set-up-fake-layoffs-coworker-thinks-hes-a-celebrity-spokesperson-and-more.html (I guess the first one?)






    https://www.askamanager.org/2017/02/my-coworkers-know-ive-been-in-a-volatile-possibly-abusive-relationship-can-i-bring-my-fiance-to-work-events.html (I just want to know that this woman has left her abusive partner)





    This one’s an oldie: https://www.askamanager.org/2016/02/employer-wants-us-to-install-invasive-gps-trackers-on-our-personal-vehicles-if-we-use-them-for-work.html

    1. Anonyme*

      I also want to know if she’s left that partner! I think every year I really want to know if the people who wrote in about abusive relationships are safe.

    2. IEanon*

      How in the HELL did I miss the background-checking employee?! I second that one (as well as most of your list, tbh).

    3. Massmatt*

      Great list! It’s amazing just how many really bizarre and/or terrible situations people find themselves in at work.

    4. Campfire Raccoon*

      Do you have a spreadsheet somewhere, which you periodically update when people post updates? If so: you are my people.

      1. Frank Doyle*

        I have a folder in my Bookmarks called “AAM Updates?” I am definitely a Spreadsheet Maker though, you got me there!

    5. EvilQueenRegina*

      The one with the fake sick kid I think left an update in the comments saying that employee was no longer with the company and everyone got their donated PTO back.

  18. Reality Check*

    We’ve been reading about so much shitty behavior by employers with COVID & everything this year, I hardly know where to begin asking for updates!

    1. Artemesia*

      Yeah we need a COVID nightmare boss update session with tons of follow ups. I am so grateful that my daughter has a boss who is also a mother dealing with this nightmare of home schooling/day care and WFH and that they have dealt with it with flexibility. Some of these bosses discussed here obviously have not had to actually deal hands on with the mundane issues of life themselves for a long time and have no empathy for what their low paid struggling parent employees are dealing with — or even their non-parent employees who are struggling to WFH in a place shared with spouse or roommates all of whom need office space they don’t have.

      1. Artemesia*

        I have a friend whose boss lived in a huge lake side home in Winnetka who had among the many rooms a room dedicated to wrapping presents; no kidding – a whole room only for gift wrapping. I am waiting to hear that some boss suggested that people just set up an office space in their gift wrapping room.

        1. LPUK*

          That’s a riff on an interview with Cindy spelling while giving a tour of her mega mansion ( since bought by one of the Ecclestone daughters). Many years later she explained that he had so many rooms she didn’t know what to call them and just panicked and blurted out ‘ this is the gift wrapping room’. I feel it deserves to be up there with ‘let them eat cake’

          1. LPUK*

            Feel I should share that my first thought when I look at one of those fabulous mansion might be ‘ wow, that’s gorgeous’ but, being British , my second thought is always ‘ but it’s a long way to get a cup of tea’ . Envy over and done with!

            1. Caroline Bowman*

              I am crass enough to really love the idea of a whole room for gift wrapping but also being British (ish), I’d never call it that, I’d call it ”the study” or something vague like that. In fact it would have dedicated wall-rollers for all the mountains of stunning, handmade wrapping paper, washi tape as far as the eye could see and naturally several professional gift-wrappers on standby.

  19. 867-5309*

    UGH! I was reading through the archives the other day and thought for several that I’d like an update but forgot to jot down which ones. Below are the two I remember. Will add to the list! :)

    – The interns who were fired as a group. What happened? Are they out in the workforce? How do they feel about things now?

    – The young-ish (late-20s) woman who was unable to get a job in field because the woman she bullied in high school was a rockstar at the main employer where she could work, and the things continued to go badly when she shared the initial update. I’ve always wondered if she was able to find a measure of peace.

    1. 867-5309*

      I would especially love for Alison/OPs from 2009-2012. What’s changed after a decade-ish of perspective.

    2. 867-5309*

      From May 2018: what happens if I get hired at a dog-friendly company when I’m allergic to dogs?

      The person who wrote in about their mother, who had been working at an MLM for 20 years or so and was trying to determine how to best reflect the experience on her resume when job searching. What did OP and mom decide? Did mom find a new gig?

    1. Em*

      Does it have to be from this year? A couple from past years that stuck out:
      I know we’ve had multiple updates from them, but someone who I think about regularly is the employee who racked up tens of thousands of dollars in debt on their company credit card. I imagine that the most recent update from them was probably the last, but they’re on my mind every time I mess up at work – both in a “well, it could be worse…” thought process, and also when I’m thinking about what it looks like when a big mistake is forgiven, what actions you have to take to prove that you will genuinely never repeat that mistake again.

      Also, someone who I hope is doing well is the manager who was jealous of her pretty employee, and was subsequently fired. I just hope that she’s still doing well in recovery!

      1. Flossie Bobbsey*

        On the last one, she wrote in with a LOT of updates already. By the last one, it was very clear she had seriously downplayed her own behavior (in her initial letter and all along) and that she was coming back for the repeated praise she was getting for being such a good person now, without ever having to reveal the true extent of what she did to the employee she was jealous of. I could do WITHOUT hearing from her again for that reason unless she is willing to come clean about what she actually did.

        1. Em*

          Woah, I must have missed those! I think that I caught the second update, but not any of the others. That’s really disappointing, to be honest!

        1. Carpe Librarium*

          I hope that the OP is in a better position than when they sent the update! It seemed like their old manager slandered them out of a new role when giving a reference.

  20. Happy It's Thursday*

    The employee who was obsessed with a coworker’s prosthesis.

    The boss who threatened to fire her stellar employee because the employee wanted to go to her own college graduation. Note: the employee quit. Also, this boss wanted to follow up with telling the employee that she didn’t understand business norms, since she grew up in foster care. That was an amazing letter.

    1. Indisch blau*

      This was the letter that led me to this site (in 2016, I think) and I’d love an update too, although I doubt we’ll get one. But wouldn’t it be cool if the stellar employee happened upon the story and could let us know how her life has turned out.

      1. Observer*

        We’re never going to see and update on #2 – Boss did NOT get what they wanted. And they got blasted. It was deserved, but still…

    2. Stormfeather*

      Eveerrryone wants the college graduation follow up but it hasn’t yet happened. I also figure it’s unlikely to happen given that everyone (rightly) called out the OP. But I keep living in hope that the employee will some day come to this site and find the post and update it!

      1. I take tea*

        I too would love to hear that the collage graduation employee got a better job that treated them good.

  21. CatCat*

    I kind of want to hear more about the “stay gold” intern, just to know if she took feedback well and if she subbed with something better. Not a major letter on the site, but a memorable one.

  22. Anon-mama*

    1. Liver boss.
    2. Coworker who came to work symptomatic and awaiting test results and left when she got her positive. I know OP said their boss gave them time of and they were getting tested, but did we ever hear back about how they’re doing?

    1. Grizabella the Glamour Cat*

      DEFINITELY Liver Boss! I’ve just about given upon it after all this time, but it’s at the top of my “OMG, I want an update on this one!” list.

  23. Helvetica*

    I was just today checking for updates for some stories! Two I’d really want to know, are the temp (!) who was in a car accident (!!) after which she wasn’t performing well at work and people yelled at her (!!!):

    And, secondly, the manager who told her young attractive co-worker to wear a wedding ring, otherwise she couldn’t attend work conferences:

  24. Ferret*

    I really want to hear from the person whose boss was photoshopping themselves in bizarre ways in company photos (to the point where extra limbs were appearing and everyone else was distorted by attempts to make herself look taller and thinner)

  25. Chocolate Teapot*

    The new(ish) employee who spent an entire weekend working on a project for a Monday morning deadline, getting very little sleep, who was made to forfeit a day’s holiday because she overslept. Her boss was a workaholic.

  26. YouwantmetodoWHAT?! *

    I might have one or two…. :-D






    My business travel is full of exhausting layovers and cost-cutting



    My new boss asked everyone how many people they’ve slept with



      1. Stormfeather*

        ^ this, I want to know if the coworkers did in fact start wrong-naming the dead-naming employee!

    1. Theory of Eeveelution*

      Omg, I somehow forgot about the guy who was telling everyone that he and LW were married, this year has been wild!

    2. Don’tWorryAboutAThing*

      I sincerely hope the woman who flashed her coworkers after her mastectomy had no repercussions. They were being ridiculous. I’d love to hear she has a better job with great coworkers!

    1. Alldogsarepuppies*

      Well they got the day off this year, since it was a leap year, so what’s there to complain about. [/sarcasm]

      1. I take tea*

        I’ve been thinking about the leap year person too… It was so absurd, especially the doubling down on it.

    1. Tuesday*

      I thought that too! That boss is so aggravating (not to mention all the juvenile coworkers). I’m hoping there’s good news.

  27. Everybody gets an update!*

    Might have already been mentioned: the recent letter about the woman who came back from maternity leave to find out her coworker lied that they were married. Was that a case of a lie gone to far or true creeper? Did they get fired, did the woman quit? So many questions. Need to know!

  28. Jaybeetee*

    Oh wow, so many…

    I know there have been many updates, and that some readers were tiring of them, but I do wonder about the lady who was jealous of her attractive colleague resulting in career and personal blowout – I hope things are getting better for her.

    Second on any letter that involved a toxic or abusive relationship – I hope allll those people are doing well now.

    Cheap-ass rolls lady! (Okay, I agree this one’s a long shot…)

    The lady who bit her boss.

    The lady who got into an anxiety spiral and went to her colleague’s home. I know there was already an update on that one, but I do wonder how she is now.

    The lady flirting with the 18-year-old intern.

    And… basically anyone who wrote in with toxic and outlandish workplaces and bosses. It feels like there are *a lot* of letters like that this year. But I’d be interested in any update from any letter that had commenters going “WTF”.

    1. No Longer Gig-less Data Analyst*

      I gotta second “cheap ass rolls.” That was such a bizarrely aggressive letter over perceived slights.

    1. Rick Tq*

      Yes! Especially since (if I recall correctly) the late Jane provided a legally required function for the group that could only be done by formally certified person, so the company *had* to replace her with someone.

    2. Where’s the Orchestra?*

      Yes – I think I ask about this one every year. I do want to know if this team ever got straightened out.

    1. Artemesia*

      I never understood why the boss didn’t figure out who the ring leader was and fire them and keep on firing people until this stopped.

  29. Elenna*

    Excited for updates! Especially since it’s definitely been at *least* five years since the last update season…

  30. Free Meerkats*

    I’d love to hear from the boss who had the employee who was slathering his whole body with the communal Purel.

  31. Paris Geller*

    Requesting an update on the employee with the coworker who would log on just to watch the OP work on their day off!

    1. Blue Eagle*

      This is the #1 update that I would like, too. I felt bad for the abused employee and wonder how she is doing, but mainly I felt terrible for the falsely accused co-worker who is forever stained in the financial world because she had been subject to a fraud investigation even though she was blameless and framed and wonder how she is doing.

    2. Talvi*

      I keep holding out hope that we’ll get an update to this one. I think it’s been requested every year, so I don’t expect we’ll get one, but this one really stuck with me.

  32. Dahlia*

    I desperately want an update to the letter about the boss who poured pee on other peoples’ dishes.

  33. Sue D. O'Nym*

    I know this is a very old one, and we’re probably not going to get an update, but I would really love to see an update on “my employee is putting magical curses on her coworker”

    1. Sue D. O'Nym*

      Oh! and I know they’ve provided a few updates already, but I’d like to see another update from the “Go get your dog!” story. Last update, they seemed to be doing well and things were looking up. Hopefully that’s still the same.

      1. Carpe Librarium*

        Alison, maybe this year, in addition to the Worst Boss vote, we could also have a post where readers share stories of managers/colleagues handling difficult or delicate situations with grace and empathy.

  34. tanklizard*

    I’d love to see what happened with these two lunatics:
    My coworkers have a crush on my boss … and are taking it out on me

    It would be great if HR gave them a response like this:
    “You’ve been with XYZ company for many years now but we feel like we’re holding back your career so we’re going to give you the opportunity to be the keeper of VP zippers at another company.”

  35. Slow Gin Lizz*

    Apologies if someone already asked for this, I don’t have time to read all the comments, but I really want to hear an update from the LW whose colleague lied about being married to her because WTAF was that?

    1. PollyQ*

      I hope she’s doing OK and has washed her hands of the ultimate user, but I suspect that legally & financially she was really screwed. Not a legal partner in the business + not legally his wife = bupkis, probably.

  36. ECHM*

    Glad to see some people posting lists of links … here’s mine …

    #2: https://www.askamanager.org/2020/08/calling-out-sick-in-your-first-week-my-ideas-are-ignored-unless-i-submit-them-anonymously-and-more.html
    #1 https://www.askamanager.org/2020/08/fake-resumes-and-false-references-coworker-was-in-an-adult-film-and-more.html

  37. PollyQ*

    Not so much an update, but I would still dearly love to know what the manager who thought her employee had committed a terrible faux pas by paying for a meal with cash rather than a debit/credit card was thinking. I could never fathom why this would be seen as even a minor negative, let alone something embarrassing.

  38. Robert "Bob" Robertson*

    We haven’t seen a guest post by Alison’s nieces lately. Do they have any new workplace horror stories of their own to share?

    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      They are so old now — 16 and 20. The oldest is taking a semester off from school because of Covid and her summer internship at a nonprofit law firm hired her into a full-time role working on housing justice cases. I’m very proud of her!

  39. Stormfeather*

    One that I think we asked about last year (so approximately six years ago) was about possible ghosts in the building (presumably a hotel), and an employee sending a memo about guests asking about it and getting chastised for it:


    I’m pretty sure it didn’t actually get an update, and I was interested in it because (along with a lot of the other commenters) I suspected it might actually be people that were in places/doing things that they weren’t supposed to be doing, leading to reports of “ghosts.” If there are sounds and visible people in places they’re not supposed to be, ghost or not, someone should know about it!

  40. Long time lurker*

    I would love to know if the writer who stubbornly refused to give their employee her day off in lieu of her February 29th birthday ever came to their senses!

      1. arjumand*

        Didn’t she also camp in the comments section and argue with everyone? That was . . . something.
        It made me wonder how many of the writers who are clearly in the wrong just ignore everything Alison and the commentariat say and blithely wander off. I’m still wondering about the one who wouldn’t given her employee a few hours off to go to her graduation.

  41. Funkywizaard*

    I’d love to hear from the person who didn’t get a job because she’d bullied someone who worked there when they were in high school.

  42. Slinky*

    Yay updates! Some I’d like to see:

    I exposed myself at work because my coworkers didn’t believe I had cancer: https://www.askamanager.org/2020/03/i-exposed-myself-at-work-because-my-coworkers-didnt-believe-i-had-cancer.html
    Friend uses sister’s assault as a motivational story: https://www.askamanager.org/2020/01/my-friend-uses-her-sisters-assault-as-a-motivational-story-at-work.html
    Contentious ex is my new coworker: https://www.askamanager.org/2020/02/difficult-ex-is-my-new-coworker-taking-video-calls-in-a-coffeeshop-and-more.html
    I’m flirting with a student employee: https://www.askamanager.org/2020/07/my-coworker-told-me-to-stop-flirting-with-a-student-employee.html

  43. it's-a-me*

    It feels like only a couple of months ago that the last call for Christmas updates went out. What a year.

  44. Wren*

    If there’s a list of people’s stories who were featured in the Worst Boss of the Year and haven’t had updates, I’d love to know where they are now.

  45. Dennis Feinstein*

    I know there’s been an update about the woman whose husband insisted on coming with her to the hotel to meet the potential new boss and wanted to take photos and know everything about everything and inserted himself into the negotiations to the point where he actually cost her the job.
    BUT I would love it if that woman read AAM and went, “OMG that’s me!” and then wrote in with an update. Preferably along the lines of, “Husband’s been kicked to the kerb and now I have a fabbo new job.”

  46. Wha Happened?*

    Oooo! Yay!!!!
    I’m dying for an update from the person whose coworker was blackmailing them not to take time off for their honeymoon. Not the one from a few days ago, the one posted on March 2, 2020. They were supposed to get married in October, so maybe we can find out what happened.

      1. Frank Doyle*

        That was a FANTASTIC update, but it was from March 3rd so I wonder what has happened since then? I would imagine the wedding didn’t happen as planned . . .

  47. Iconic Bloomingdale*

    I’d like an update on the letter where the LW was trying to determine who was the culprit leaving semen on the toilet seat in the workplace bathroom.

  48. EvilQueenRegina*

    The coworker who said her husband died but he may not have: https://www.askamanager.org/2018/07/my-coworker-says-her-husband-died-but-he-didnt.html

    I’d love to know whether Fergusia the micromanager sustained her changes: https://www.askamanager.org/2019/03/i-manage-a-horrible-micromanager.html

    The coworker who was always in tears: https://www.askamanager.org/2020/07/my-emotionally-fragile-employee-is-sobbing-at-work-multiple-times-a-week.html

    The guy who wanted to fire a DV survivor: https://www.askamanager.org/2020/06/my-colleague-wants-to-fire-a-domestic-violence-survivor.html

    The fiancee who forged a doctors note: https://www.askamanager.org/2020/04/my-fiancee-forged-me-a-doctors-note-food-perks-when-working-from-home-and-more.html

  49. urban teacher*

    Not a letter writer but I would love an update from I Work on a Hellmouth. I loved the weekly reports.

  50. FueledByCoffee*

    I absolutely need an update for the one where the male coworker lied about being married to the OP!!! That one was so weird!

  51. Not Australian*

    I’d love to hear more from the wonderful, compassionate guy who managed someone who had been harmed by a member of his family. He treated everything so delicately and respectfully, and updated us about it, but I wondered whether they were able to settle down and work together successfully afterwards?

  52. knitcrazybooknut*

    I still want to hear from the employee who was denied a day off to attend her college graduation. It was written by her manager, but I still want to know what happened.

  53. Cookie Monster*

    Remember the admin who worked for the male HR manager that 2 women flirted with, and got mad at the admin for supposedly blocking them from seeing him more? They even said “she’s not the keeper of his zipper.” That’s the one I’d like an update on. Did she talk to the HR director? How did that go? What happened after?

  54. I take tea*

    The one that bit her co-worker in frustration. It was one of the texts that got me hooked on Ask a Manager, because both Alisons advice and the comments were pretty nuanced and understanding. I think of her now and then, because it’s a very good example of how your point of view can become warped in a toxic workplace. There was one update of “eh, it’s all good, there are perks to the job”, but I’d like to know if she got out eventually.

    https://www.askamanager.org/2017/07/i-bit-my-coworker.html and disappointing update https://www.askamanager.org/2017/12/update-i-bit-my-coworker.html

  55. LH Holdings*

    This one has an update but Alison hasn’t released it and I’m DYING for it. I can’t find the link but it was from I believe an African-American man whose employee was being accused of racism and he knew the allegations were not true and he wanted to support her. Eventually Alison closed the comments, but she did mention that an update was sent it and I am DESPERATE for it. Please give it to us and close the comments!!

  56. Stormfeather*

    Oh, I’d already posted one, and this one did have an update (well, two really although one was a small blurb a few months later) but I’d also kind of like a “where are they now” later update on the situation where the guy with the bird phobia pushed someone in front of a car and they… broke their arm I believe?

    I was always doubly disappointed with this one – first because a lot of the commenters took a radically different view of this than I did at the time (although that changed with the updates I believe) and because the latest update was pretty much “well she still quit and won’t contact us and the dude’s still working here and just won’t get help.”

    Original link is here:


  57. Tabby Baltimore*

    Hope I’m not too late. I have a few:
    TK, the poster who was dealing w/a micromanaging team leader, and things had gotten so bad s/he was considering self-harm. I hope they got the help they needed to keep going until they could get another job. (https://www.askamanager.org/2020/04/open-thread-april-17-18-2020.html#comment-2944639)

    MissMia who had been forced at work to be exposed to some noxious chemical which had damaged her health. Have you recovered? Last update that I know of was here: https://www.askamanager.org/2020/04/open-thread-april-17-18-2020.html#comment-2943533

    bad timing, who was a contractor for the federal government in a highly specialized field that was “not likely to fare well under the incoming administration.” She was considering applying for a federal job. What did you decide to do? (https://www.askamanager.org/2016/12/open-thread-december-30-31-2016.html#comment-1313147)

    YetAnotherFed, who was asking “Should I grit my teeth and try to get myself into a position for promotion or should I start sending out resumes?” What did you decide to do? (https://www.askamanager.org/2018/06/open-thread-june-29-30-2018.html#comment-2047924)

    MissingArizona, the military spouse who was looking for a federal job on a military base.(https://www.askamanager.org/2018/06/open-thread-june-8-9-2018.html#comment-2018035)

    Since these were posters to the Friday Open Thread, I’m hoping they’ll see these, and let us know how they’re doing.

  58. emily spinach*

    WAY late to the party, but I literally just read this one: https://www.askamanager.org/2017/05/my-sister-abused-my-employee-discount-the-word-boss-and-more.html

    The OP had an employee discount for amusement parks and let her sister and sister’s husband/kids use it. Later the OP was told by her boss 25 people ended up using the discount for over $2000 in savings, the discount was revoked, and she later learned her sister invited all the in-laws. There was talk in the comments about whether or not the sister was naïve or intentionally lying (her social media photos only had the husband/kids, not the entire family, she was staying with the OP and didn’t mention inviting others, etc). Would love to know what ever came from this!

  59. A Bit Witchy*

    Did we ever get an update from that guy who “ghosted” his ex and now she’s going to be his boss? If not, I want one!

  60. Elizabeth Proctor*

    I want to hear from the boss who had the opportunity to give their staff a lot of extra paid time off (like, a month at a time or something). I think they had a really successful seasonal business and didn’t want to lose their employees if they only hired them on a seasonal basis.

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