Ask a Manager

It’s your Friday good news!

1.  “After being fired for being ‘negative’ — i.e., not afraid to speak up about injustice, inequality, and unethical behavior — while I was in the middle of interviewing, I wrote to you because I wasn’t sure how to explain it to the companies I was interviewing with. It turned out that it never came up in conversation so I didn’t mention it, but if somehow it does come back in the background check, I intend on being fully honest with what happened. They contacted all 3 of my references from the role I just got let go from who must have said nice things about me because they extended an offer right away. I was able to negotiate a little bit extra and happily accepted the new remote role with almost double my old salary plus amazing benefits like a fully covered platinum healthcare plan and double the PTO.

I will be a lot happier at this nonprofit with values that much more closely align with mine and work that I enjoy! I had my first day today with a very warm welcome and was presented with lots of organized support and resources. I am feeling very excited and motivated to work after taking the time between jobs to rest and recover from the stress of my old job. All in all, a very good outcome for what was an awful situation to be in.”

2.  “I spent the last 5 years at a job that more or less sucked the life out of me. My boss had a charismatic personality and a ‘say yes to everything’ attitude that masked their incompetence. They were disorganized, rarely followed through on what they said they would do, and provided no actual management or even regular feedback (among other things). I had aggressively mediocre coworkers spend most of their time doing professional development (that other people did not have the opportunity to do) and finding ways to supervise people who were not theirs to supervise. I took this entry-level position as an opportunity to gain experience in my field and because my boss assured me that they planned to change the position into one that required the advanced degree that I hold. That never happened. It ended up being a toxic environment with a high level of turnover (at least half the staff left during my final year there) and I regularly experienced anxiety attacks both on my way to work and while I was there. I could go on, but I’m so happy to say that I escaped!

I’m now working in a comparable organization, at a higher professional level, with a competent boss, and coworkers who actually want to be at work and who support each other. I know that I was not doing my best work at previous toxic job but I am so thankful they took a chance on me. I want to really encourage people to make contacts in their fields as much as possible because it was a word from one of my contacts, a friend of a friend, that convinced them to even interview me (my previous boss had apparently told them a lot of negative things about me). I knocked the interview out of the park and was offered the job the same day. Now my goal is to let my work speak for itself and to do the level of work I know (and have always known) myself capable of doing. Thank you Alison and everyone who comments and submits questions — I don’t think I could have done this without you!”

3.  “I spent years trying to change careers. I tailored my resume for NewTitle, wrote kickass cover letters, volunteered for a NewTitle networking group, etc. I did all the right things, but the field is competitive and my resume is littered with OldTitle roles. I simply wasn’t as compelling as the other candidates. In the meantime, I was burning myself out and miserable.

And then, of course, pandemic. My employer wouldn’t let us stop for one freaking second to take care of ourselves and our communities. I spent all of that first year either working or curled up in bed, alone, crying. Frequently both at once. I did not make progress in my job search.

My mental health hit a crisis point, and both my physical health and work performance were significantly suffering. I resigned without anything else lined up. I took on odd jobs and lived off of my down payment fund, and asked my network to send freelance work my way. My symptoms drastically improved, and freelance is rad! But I was still struggling and couldn’t focus on business development the way I needed to.

A friend sent me a job posting for OldTitle and I was pretty unenthused at the prospect. But the salary was good and money was running out, so I tossed “Freelance NewTitle” onto my resume and submitted it with a shrug.

Turns out, after posting the opening, they decided they needed a NewTitle instead. And my resume was such a weird mashup of OldTitle headings and NewTitle accomplishments that it piqued the hiring manager’s curiosity. It was a total and absolute fluke.

And this job is so good for me. I’m doing better than I have been for years, including pre-pandemic. The salary increase is significant. The office culture is a good match for my weirdo brain. There are also problems, and I doubt this is my forever-employer. But I am doing exactly the work I want to be doing. NewTitle is finally, officially, my title.

So for others who are reading these and thinking ‘must be nice. I’m going to rot away here forever,’ please consider what ALL of your options are. They may be less traditional or obvious to you. They are unlikely to be great in this capitalist hellscape. But options do exist, and there’s power in knowing that you are making the choice to stay, if that is indeed a choice you continue to make.”