It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss doesn’t want to give me a bonus because I’m leaving soon

I am moving soon to another state and leaving my agency to be closer to family. I really don’t want to leave and neither does my boss. He even advocated for me to stay on as fully remote, but his boss and HR said no; the agency has a new strict policy that doesn’t allow employees to be fully remote. I have no choice but to resign.

Coincidentally, my annual performance review is due shortly before the time my lease is up and I have to leave my job. My annual reviews have always come with a bonus, so I’m expecting a lump sum payment that will help cover some of the costs of moving. I’ve been somewhat transparent with my boss about my plans on leaving, but I have not given him an exact resignation date yet because I’m still in the process of finding new employment and coordinating the move so the dates are not yet set in stone.

I have been pushing my boss to get my performance review done so I can feel secure knowing that money is on the way. When I asked him for an update, he was vague and made it seem like he wasn’t sure if it would be approved because his boss and HR know I’m leaving soon. So I asked him if he himself is resistant to giving me a bonus because he knows I’m leaving soon and he said yes because it “doesn’t come off as a good financial decision” to give a chunk of money to an employee who is leaving. I argued that this is my reward for my performance of last year to now, so that money should be paid to me anyway. Plus, I haven’t submitted a resignation letter yet, so technically I’m not leaving until that is made official.

I can say with confidence that I earned a bonus this year and it doesn’t feel fair to be withheld a bonus because I’ll be gone a month or so after it’s paid. I think anyone else in my position would also try to leave with as much as they could. Am I asking for too much or is my timing just bad?

Your timing is bad. It’s very common for companies not to pay bonuses to people who have made it clear they’re leaving soon. You see the bonus as compensation for work you’ve already done, but employers see bonuses as a retention strategy and very often won’t give them if you’ve told them you’re leaving. That’s not always the case; some organizations handle it differently (and for some, the bonus is contractually obligated). But it’s the case enough of the time that it’s an established thing for people to need to delay their exits (and any discussion of their exits) until after a bonus is paid out.

You can certainly make the argument for a bonus as compensation for work already done if you want to — but from what your boss is saying, your company is unlikely to give it to you.

2. When a candidate’s resume has different job titles than LinkedIn does

I’m screening resumes for a role. For anonymity’s sake, let’s say it’s a teapot designer, and we’re looking for five years of designer experience. Many people in designer roles first spend time as teapot painters, and while that experience is valuable, designer is a more expansive, senior role.

On a few occasions now, I’ve looked at resumes that appear strong, with several past designer roles, but when I click through to the applicant’s LinkedIn profile, I see these are actually painter roles, and they’ve changed the titles on their resume. When they’ve done this across the board and have no actual designer experience, I can easily screen them out. But sometimes I’m finding it’s a mix — their current role is in fact a designer role, but previous designer roles were actually painter roles. If they’d been truthful on their application, I would’ve screened them in! But now I feel like I have to screen out these candidates because they’re embellishing their applications.

Am I being too harsh? Is this the red flag I think it is? I feel for applicants in this difficult job market, but I just can’t get past the false titles on the resume, and I’m not sure how I’d explain to my boss that I’m screening in people who don’t have the experience they claim to, even if their actual experience is solid. (Also, these applicants are willingly handing over their LinkedIn links. Do they think we won’t notice the discrepancies between their profile and their application? What am I missing here?)

If they’re people who you otherwise would have advanced, it’s worth doing a phone screen with them to clarify — where you’d ask directly, “I saw your resume calls your current job ’teapot designer’ but on LinkedIn you list it as a ’teapot painter’ role. Which is correct?” Give them a chance to elaborate — because while I can’t speak for what’s common in the teapot industry, there a lot of people have titles that don’t accurately reflect the work they’re doing, and it’s not unheard of for people to try to clarify by using a more accurately descriptive title on their resumes. That might not be what’s happening here; this might just be people trying to finesse their experience into something it isn’t. But it’s worth talking to at least a handful and finding out, to inform your thinking going forward.

If it turns out to be a straight-up lie — they’re just flagrantly misrepresenting their experience to try to get their foot in the door — that’s prohibitive. But if someone says, “I started out doing painting, but for the last two years I’ve been doing the designer job and my company never updated my title,” I wouldn’t hold that against them.

But also, if you’re just doing the initial resume screen before passing resumes on to your boss (and you’re the person doing the phone screens), you should have this conversation with her to get aligned on how to handle it. She may not know you’re seeing this and may have her own opinions about how she wants you to handle it.

3. People misspell my name

I have a fairly straightforward issue that I’m sure you’ve run into as well — my name gets misspelled on emails! I have a fairly common name that has a fairly understandable misspelling (think “Anglea” instead of “Angela”). While this is easy for me to correct internally, how does one go about correcting this for people outside of our organization?

I work in a company where I regularly interact with people from client companies asking for my services, and yes, my name is in my email signature! So far, I’ve been happy to just ignore it and reply to the email content itself, but is there anything you would recommend to “repeat offenders”?

Personally, as someone with a name that frequently gets misspelled, I just ignore it. I have decided that life is less stressful when I just don’t care unless it’s someone who’s close to me.

That said, if it bothers you and someone has done it multiple times, it’s fine to just matter-of-factly say at the end of your next reply, “By the way, it’s Angela, not Anglea!” (But expect this still won’t completely solve it.)

4. Should I tell my boss my commute is only doable if we remain hybrid?

I’m a very highly valued executive assistant for a very senior partner in a law firm.

I know eventually my work is going to consider changing our remote work policy to only allow us to work from home one day a week. My commute is 75 minutes each way. It’s a pretty relaxing commute, and I did not mind it at all before I had a baby. However, with a baby it’s only doable because I only have to go in three days a week.

Is it risky to verbalize to my boss and HR that if they ever increased the amount of days in office required, I would have to look for a new job in my own city? I don’t think my job would it be at risk; they’re lost without me and I always have top reviews each year, but am I being naive? My boss isn’t the managing partner at the firm but is very senior and her word has a lot of power. I feel like she should know that one of her most valued employees can only stay because of the current benefits offered with remote work. I really love my job and really love working for my boss I don’t want to leave my job but would absolutely have to if they increased the days in office required.

In your shoes, I’d have a conversation with your boss right now (not with HR) and say something like, “Is your sense that the firm is likely to stick with our current hybrid policy or that they might increase the number of in-office days required at some point? I’m asking because I love my job and I love working for you, but the commute is only doable right now because I only need to do it three days a week.”

Since you’re highly valued, that’s not terrible risky to say. And since she has a lot of capital herself, arm her now with the info she needs if a change ever does start to get discussed. That doesn’t mean they still won’t do it, but at least they won’t be surprised by what it means for you if they do.

5. Employees donating to their own organization in memory of a colleague

My mom worked for a nonprofit for many years. When she passed away, we asked for donations to the nonprofit in her memory. Several of the donations they received were from her colleagues, who still worked for the organization. My sister thinks it’s weird they’d donate to their own employer. I don’t. Who’s right?

I’ve worked at nonprofits where some employees donated simply because they felt strongly about the mission (truly of their own volition, with no pressure from the organization to do it) and were proud to be donors. So I don’t think it’s weird, particularly since these colleagues were honoring her in the specific way your family requested.