I was a sloppy drunk at the company party

by Alison Green on October 28, 2025

A reader writes:

I recently made it through to the final interview round for a job I was very excited about. I’ve been in my current position without a clear path to promotion long enough to have been eyeing the exits for a while, and finally I found myself in a hiring process that felt like it was going really well. I was meshing with all the people who I would be working with at this company. The conversations we had about the vision I would bring to their team also energized me in a way that my current work hasn’t in quite some time.

The final interview ended up being scheduled on the same day as a company party at my current job. I thought that was great, because it gave me an excuse to come to the office looking more put together than usual without raising any suspicions. I was well-prepared going into the interview that morning, got great feedback from the panel of executives I spoke with, and left feeling confident that I had the position in the bag. In fact, I was so sure that I nailed this interview that I celebrated that evening by enjoying the unlimited white wine at the open bar a little (a lot) too much. I even rallied some coworkers to go to another bar once the office party ended, and I insisted on expensing their whiskey shots there. I am pretty sure, from what I remember, that I was a sloppy drunk. At one point someone told me that I was slurring my words, and I have a mortifying memory of excitedly sharing some salacious gossip that I normally never would have spread around.

The next day, I was barely alive at work. Every time someone walked by my desk, I assume they could clock how bad of shape I was in.

To add insult to hangover, the following week I was informed that I did not get that other position I had interviewed for. I had been so fixated on the prospect of being free from this job that I allowed myself to get over-sauced in front of a room full of people who I am now stuck interacting with for a lot longer than I’d anticipated.

How do I move past the double embarrassment of getting drunker than I should have in front of my coworkers and not landing this other job when I was so convinced I had it all locked up?

You can read my answer to this letter at New York Magazine today. Head over there to read it.

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{ 68 comments }

{ 68 comments… read them below }

  2. Peanut Hamper*

    No matter how well the interview goes, never assume that you’ve got the position until you are sitting at your new desk at your new job.

    2. AMB*

      Poor naive recent-college-grad me learned this. Had a series of fantastic interviews at a really awesome place, had a personal connection there, had an unexpected glowing reference from another personal connection, meshed really well with my would-be boss. I thought I had it in the bag and I was so excited! So I was really heartbroken when I got the rejection that was like “you were great, but we went with someone better.” That was a big blow to my ego and a good wake up call to not count my chickens before they hatch.

    4. baby rhino potato*

      Sure, but the LW is wondering how to move beyond the party AND not getting the job.

      LW: I think you just let time go by and resolve to never do the same thing again. Things happen, people know things happen, and they’ll move past whatever happened at the party – and there will be other job interviews.

      I actually think it’s great you recognize and acknowledge you messed up. That’s more than many people are willing to admit, so good for you.

      Also, good luck on your next interview!

  3. Carter Carter*

    I’ve done this. I was kicked out of a bar at a work event for being too drunk. And it was not the only time. Luckily I didn’t get into any trouble, nor was I the only one binge drinking but I definitely took it too far. My advice would be to talk to your manager to explain you’re embarrassed and you won’t do it again. And stick to it–no alcoholic drinks at work parties for a while so your boss and co-workers will think of it as a one time event. I also think even if they are judgy about it, they will let it go because at the end of the day unless you were belligerent or standing on the bar dancing, they’ll forget soon enough. If it’s a one off they might find it amusing but I wouldn’t worry about it much more other than being on your best behaviour.

    (This part I only mention in the context of my own mistakes but it was a good time for me to check in on my relationship with alcohol. Not saying you need to or it’s an issue for you, but if you think it is it’s worth looking at.)

    1. Asloan*

      Honestly anytime anyone suggests shots I know that is my cue to leave. Shots are one thing I left behind with my younger self. That one trick really helped me stay on top of my drinking (also being more skeptical of how strong a cocktail is. Very, very skeptical).

      2. Ally McBeal*

        YEP. I’d like to say my sloppiest moment at a work function marked the end of my shots days, but it only put an end to my days of TEQUILA shots. Whiskey shots were harder to turn down for a few more years, until the hangovers started stretching into Day Two. Now I rarely have more than one drink at a work event.

      3. Caliphate*

        Ooof, yes. No shots, and a strict two-drink max at work events IF I’m eating. One otherwise. I’m a lightweight.

      4. Elizabeth West*

        Same. People were doing some locally traditional shot at a recent work outing, and I refused. Not only do I have not-so-fond memories of doing shots way back in the day, it smelled like mouthwash and I was like, urrrrp no.

      5. Momma Bear*

        After one infamous holiday party we were told shots were no longer allowed at company events.

        I agree that no matter what take extra steps to be sober and professional for a long time.

      6. MigraineMonth*

        I think every cocktail should be listed with the number of shot/drink-equivalents in it. Sheepishly asking the bartender after drinking it and discovering there were *four shots* in my Long Island Iced Tea was an alarming (but unfortunately not sobering!) experience.

    2. Czhorat*

      I second all of this, but I’ll fo a bit farther: If you got sloppy and near-blackout drunk at a work event then you DO have a problem with alcohol. I would suggest at least quitting alcohol entirely at work events, and considering whether taking enough shots that you need a seeing eye dog to get home is the way you want to celebrate future milestones.

      1. Rocket Raccoon*

        Or the opposite, OP might be an inexperienced drinker. Newly 21 me went to a bar for the first time and got absolutely hammered because I’d never had cocktails before and couldn’t taste how much alcohol I was drinking (and drinking really fast!). Just barely managed to call a friend who came and got me, and from that day forth I drink ONE alcoholic drink in public, no exceptions.

      2. AlexR*

        I don’t think that’s true. That might be the one time the person has drank in months, the drinks are stronger than what they are used to, they didn’t pace themselves or eat enough or they just didn’t keep track of how many drinks they were having. None of that indicates a broader problem with alcohol, just a problem with how they handled it in that particular situation.

      3. Popinki*

        OP was in the mood to party, and if there’s one thing alcohol is great at, it’s throwing your common sense and self-control right down the tubes. I’m sure ever since this happened she has been much more careful about both premature celebration and drinking at work events.

      4. Bespoke Budget Formatting*

        I don’t think overdoing it one time is proof positive of an alcohol problem. Worth checking in with themselves, sure, but sometimes a one-off is just a one-off.

        1. amoeba*

          Yeah, this. Also, not sure where you’re getting “near-blackout” from? I mean, this honestly sounds like a pretty “normal” level of drunk for going out with friends – the error was obviously to do that with colleagues, but still. Slurring your words a bit isn’t “close to blackout”.

    3. Quinalla*

      I too recommend apologizing if there were some people you especially feel like you took it too far. I’ve been on the receiving end of an apology like that once and I really did appreciate it. The person was definitely inappropriately drunk/high at a work event and it was noticed, they didn’t do anything inappropriate, but it was very yikes especially since they were a manager. They haven’t repeated!

      I luckily only had one extremely drunk, ended up puking and hungover time when I was in college and I made the choice to do it as I kind of wanted to experience it once. That was enough for me. My trick is to either meter my intake carefully – nurse a drink over 30-60m or whatever works for your body – or to drink standing up as I can keep my level of tipsy where I want it easily when standing. Sitting I cannot tell my level of drunkenness.

      1. Reluctant Mezzo*

        Yes, I now *listen* to my ‘this is your last drink warning’ from my stomach. Also, I only have one drink if I’m driving anyway.

  4. It's Marie - Not Maria*

    Consider it as a lesson woefully learned. You don’t have a new job until you have a signed offer letter, have completed onboarding and are on the clock on your first day with the new company.

    As for repairing your current workplace relationships, take the high road, apologize and admit you were going through a rough time that day, then act in an impeccably professional manner moving forward. This will not repair the bad impression you made overnight, and it may take much longer than you think before people stop remembering you as “The Shot Person.” You may go down in Company Lore as “The Shot Person,” and hopefully you get to the point where you can ruefully laugh with yourself about your behavior.

    1. Stretchy McGillicuddy*

      I recenctly read a celebrity memoir and the actress said her ritual after each audition was to get in her car and yell “NEXT!” as a mental exercise to emotionally leave that audition behind her and focus on the next. I thought that was great advice.

    2. Ann O'Nemity*

      I’ve been on the receiving end of one of these apologies, and I really appreciated it. A good message was something like, “I wanted to apologize for letting the open bar win last night — that’s definitely not how I want to be at work events. Thanks for understanding.”

      It helps if you don’t over explain, and don’t joke to try to normalize it.

  5. Crencestre*

    What Alison said; no more drinking at workplace events is best, although having just one drink won’t get you labeled the office lush. And yes, this means fielding rude, nosy questions about why you aren’t drinking, but those are easily handled by a smile, a shrug and a casual comment that “I’d rather have some coffee/tea/water/juice right now, so that’s what I’m drinking. Say, are you looking forward to the next Wicked movie/Ken Burns’ American Revolution show/World Series game/ etc.?” or some similar anodyne subject shift. Keep it light, as if it’s no big deal if you choose not to drink alcohol – because it really isn’t! – and your reputation should be back on track very soon.

  6. Lyra Belacqua*

    Granted, I’m in an industry where heavy drinking is fairly common, but it doesn’t sound like LW was that much of an outlier at this event. After all, any coworkers who saw her acting sloppy at the second location had themselves decided to go to the second location, and it sounds like many (all?) of those people also decided to do shots. Yes, LW should be more careful in the future, but if someone made a point of apologizing for this behavior, I’d think it was a little weird. (If the party comes up, that’s a different thing, and I’d go with a casual “mistakes were made” type comment.) Sharing the gossip is the only thing I’d see as potentially a big deal, depending on what it was.

    1. amoeba*

      Yeah, that’s what I was thinking, honestly. I’d be a bit embarrassed, but nothing there screams “horrible misbehaviour by LW” to me? Like, there was an open bar, so probably people weren’t generally anti drinking, the coworkers joined for shots at the bar… this is not “everybody was sipping their one glass of wine and LW decided to have two bottles and accidentally flash the CEO” territory!
      I’d probably acknowledge that it wasn’t a great idea (as in “oh my god, I totally underestimated that, I’m never doing that again!” or something) and otherwise assume it’ll be an amusing anecdote to their colleagues at the most.

      1. amoeba*

        But maybe that’s also a bit influenced by my time in academia where that would have been…. extremely harmless. (Hey, nobody got naked, nobody threw up, it’s all really civilised!)

          1. Cedrus Libani*

            One of my grad school colleagues enjoyed the yearly department retreat a bit too much. He got the cops called on him, then punched a cop, and had to be retrieved from the drunk tank the next morning by his advisor. Was there a lot of laughter at his expense? Yes. Did he suffer any actual consequences? Not that I know of.

          2. amoeba*

            Oh my, that could be very cute though!

            We just had a postdoc decide that trousers are overrated and refuse to get dressed for, like, an hour. Grad students and postdocs being what we were, we found that highly amusing and many videos and photos were taken, of course. I do hope that if that happened in a professional job (which hopefully it never will!) we’d react slightly differently!

            Guy’s doing fine now, last time I checked he was starting his independent career, haha.

        2. Hannah Lee*

          Or, edited to shift the scale a bit based on one job I had:

          “Hey, nobody got naked, nobody threw up, or if they did, at least it wasn’t in the CFO’s living room this time. It’s all really civilised!”

          1. Potatohead*

            I choose to read this as someone getting naked in the CFO’s living room, because that makes it extra surreal.

      2. Reluctant Mezzo*

        Once upon a time, there was an Annapolis cadet who got so hammered at an Army-Navy game that he threw up on the shoes of the Assistant Secretary of the Navy. They say his body was hidden beneath Mother B….

    2. Amy M.*

      My first real job had a strong drinking culture, which may be why there’s nothing in the letter that sounds particularly egregious to me, either. Being visibly/painfully hungover the next day isn’t ideal, and if everyone else was fully recovered, that would be an indication that LW was partying harder than everyone else.

      But, it honestly sounds to me like LW is equating his drinking with bragging that he nailed the interview; so, discovering that he didn’t get the job feels like he’s been publicly exposed as a liar. But, being a excited and getting a little ahead of yourself isn’t a lie – it’s very human. I’m sure your coworkers are willing to extend you grace for what happened, even if you don’t feel like you deserve it.

      1. Lyra Belacqua*

        I didn’t get the impression that the LW was talking about the interview with colleagues, just that the excitement made them drink more than they otherwise would have. If they were bragging about the interview, that actually does seem like a problem, because now it may be public knowledge that LW is looking to leave.

        1. Amy M.*

          I don’t think LW was actually bragging about the interview – just that, in LW’s mind, the drinking was the equivalent of having spent the evening bragging about this awesome job he was going to get.

  7. cactus lady*

    I have been there! Recruitment event for my company, 2014. I was part of the outreach effort to and I got SOOOOOO DRUNK. I had to get a hotel room at the last minute because I couldn’t make it home. It still makes me cringe to this day. No words of advice just know that you are not alone!

  8. Saint Elmo*

    Oof. All I can say is oof. Honestly, I’m sure OP isn’t the first person this has happened to or made this mistake, so I just hope they aren’t being too hard on themself.

    1. Alan*

      Yes. This. I was at a work party a couple years ago where a colleague got drunk and a little belligerent. It didn’t change the way I thought of him. He’d just had a little too much to drink. I mean, if he had apologized to me that would have been fine, but it didn’t matter that he didn’t.

  9. Former Retail Lifer*

    Sometime around 2012, I went out to a bar with some work friends after a meeting. It was around this time of year and, unbeknownst to me then, pumpkin ale and I don’t get along. I had three (absolutely normal for me)…and proceeded to throw up in the bathroom like I’d had nine. I puked like a frat pledge that had been hazed. I had known everyone there for at least two years and we had been to conferences with free-flowing alcohol and they’d never seen me like that, so they knew I was a drinker but not THAT KIND of drinker. I’m still friends with one of the people that witnessed it. We were always fine at work after that, but he still makes a joke when we go for a drink. Aside from never showing my face at that bar ever again, it was all fine in the end.

    1. Maggie*

      This is a huge red flag for tampered drinks! It sounds like you had a specific intolerance, but just if anyone else is reading this, if you ever have an unexpectedly powerful reaction to a typical amount of alcohol, get medical attention because very often you’ve been drugged.

  10. Alan*

    Also consider that everyone was apparently drinking. I went with a girlfriend (as her DD) to a work party where she got drunk, and so did almost everyone else there. I doubt anyone remembered anyone else’s behavior the next day. She never mentioned it again.

    1. Former Retail Lifer*

      Right? Even if OP was the most drunk, plenty of other people were drunk, too, and will only have hazy memories of what anyone else did!

    2. londonedit*

      Totally agree! Everyone went to the second bar, everyone did shots, it’s pretty much guaranteed that most of the people there had too much to drink. Which we all do from time to time! Doing it at a work event isn’t ideal, but it doesn’t sound like the OP did anything particularly awful, beyond getting a bit more drunk than they should have done. I think having to work with a hangover is punishment enough! And I’m sure no one is thinking badly of the OP for it. They probably don’t even remember the details, if everyone was similarly tipsy. The Fear is a really common hangover symptom but – assuming all the OP did was slur their words a bit – I doubt anyone will even remember, let alone hold it against them.

      If the OP was finding they were getting horrifically drunk at every work event they went to, that would be a different matter, but everyone has a bit too much every now and then. I think it would draw even more attention to it, and make it weird, if the OP decided to bring it up and apologise. Just maybe be a bit more careful at work events next time!

  11. Amateur Linguist*

    I get weird drunk — I go from sober to hungover very quickly with a ‘let’s try out this phrase from a language I don’t speak and don’t know what it means that I’ve only ever heard on a record on my top boss’ in between. I don’t drink any more at all for medical reasons but I did learn a lot out in Poland to have twice as much water as actual alcoholic drinks, and not to drink the moonshine in the party tub because I wasn’t used to it.

    As long as nothing actually illegal or something that would get you sacked for gross misconduct goes down I’m ok with it but we do always get the spiel about remembering we represent the company and the wider health service when our in public and we’ve had actual meals with the drink, which is a way to make it a convivial party rather than a riot. The only person to suffer any fallout from a Christmas party was the guy who had just announced his resignation, and he left the company quicker than anticipated given his anticipated notice period, but to be frank I do want a party to be fun and memorable than miserable. That’s why I like the way my boss is extending the invitations to frontline colleagues as well as managers and although I think there will be karaoke this year (not going as I will be catching the first week of the Rhineland Christmas markets), I think a general party is better than management just clubbing together to go boozing.

    1. Bike Walk Bake Books*

      Back in college when I partied with friends I started making a point of alternating an alcoholic drink with a cup of coffee. (Coffee is my BFF any time of day.) This was a way of pacing myself that has stuck with me into present times even though now I rarely have more than one drink. If I’m with friends or family and they’ve served any form of alcohol with no water glasses, I get water glasses for everyone when I’m getting mine.

      I relearned the value of this once at a wonderfully convivial dinner party with friends years ago, years after college. Three couples having a great time, laughing, talking, consuming bottle after bottle of wine, and I wasn’t driving. Thanks to the energy level I didn’t realize how much I had on board until we got in the car and it was quiet. (Thank heavens my husband hadn’t been drinking at my pace.) I realized we hadn’t had any water to drink the whole evening. Whoopsy-tipsy.

      I went to work the next day with alcohol still on board, first time ever and definitely the last time for that experience. Not so much wine in my system that I couldn’t work, but there’s no misery quite like having your hangover strike in the middle of the management meeting with your boss who is the Boss of All–and Mormon–at the head of the table. No one knew why I was abnormally quiet in the meeting, I don’t think, but I did, and it was Not Fun. Never again.

  12. MSD*

    Getting drunk is bad but I think it may have been repeating the salacious rumor that was the death blow.

  13. thequill*

    I know the drinking culture in Australia is bad but it’s kind of funny just how stark the difference is. This would be par for the course at every workplace I’ve ever worked at, and in fact anywhere any person I know has worked at. Literally no one would bat an eye at any part of this. Usually it’s the CEO expensing the liquor and/or shots at the afterparty. I know that’s a different culture than in the US but just know there’s probably still a good amount of people who aren’t concerned at all with what happened. Most of us have overindulged at one point or another and mostly feel sympathy. I doubt anyone’s judging too harshly so cut yourself some slack!

    1. Rosie*

      Someone in the UK here, and same. The overly judgemental feedback and comments here that equate one overly refreshed night with the end of the world are unpleasant to read. You are allowed to be imperfect and you are allowed to have fun, maybe even a little too much fun, with your work colleagues, whether you like them or not. Be kind to yourself.

      1. londonedit*

        Absolutely. The immediate rush to ‘if you get drunk EVER then you have a serious problem with alcohol’ simply isn’t true and it isn’t kind either. The OP knows their limits. They know they exceeded those limits *on this occasion*. Which we’ve all done. We’ve all had a bit too much fun and taken things a bit too far. No one would judge!

    2. ReallyBadPerson*

      It is interesting to me how workplace drinking culture has shifted so much over the past few decades in the US. When I started working in the late 1980s, doing shots on a Friday with co-workers was a fairly normal thing. People would joke about it the following Monday, but that was it. No one was shamed or disciplined, even if they really went overboard.

  14. CoronetBlue*

    I don’t drink at all and being around drunk colleagues has been a real eye opener my entire career. Regardless of your take on booze, it just pays to watch your flank around coworkers.

  15. R*

    yeeeears ago in my early 20s when I was living in New York City and not in any particular career or field, I had what I consider to this day one of the best interviews I’ve ever had in my life: I was very well suited to the work, I was very interested in the company, and I clicked wonderfully with the guy I was going to be the assistant to. We both left the interview feeling great and looking forward to working together: I was at a point where I could have used someone to take me under their wing — my previous jobs had kind of left me to the wolves and I needed some mentorship — and I think he would have been great for that.

    I got home, celebrated by getting extremely stoned, and then went out to visit a friend. I get off the subway and heard someone call my name: It was the interviewer, who, in one of the great New York coincidences, just happened to live in the same neighborhood as my friend — one nowhere near either my home or the office — and just happened to be getting home at the same time I was going to my friend’s.

    Now there is a timeline where I can handle my greenery a bit better where we have a really nice chat, one of us suggests grabbing a friendly beer at one of the nearby bars, and I cement this job, but I was unfortunately in the timeline where he needed to explain to me who exactly he was and it still took me a minute to get. I have a vague memory of him awkwardly excusing himself and a very clear memory of the rejection letter I got the next day. I absolutely do not blame him, and yet it is such a precarious thing — if either of us has left even five minutes earlier or later, we would not have met.

    legitimately, no way I could have predicted it, and I think the lesson of “don’t smoke weed because what if you happen to run into your interviewer in a completely different part of town in a very particular five minute window of time” is a little bit too specific to be useful, but it sure wasn’t the last time I felt like the Great Will of New York City was bending reality to get its way — for whatever reason, I was very much not meant to have that job.

    3. Surface Level Paper Cuts*

      Oh wow, what a wild NYC story. Sometimes these jobs that we so pine for are truly not meant to be.

  16. H*

    I’m going to preface this by saying I’m in the UK and have previously worked in startups which tend to be quite boozy even by UK standards. I have most definitely more than once gone through a weekend of hangxiety about what I said to whom and what I might have done etc. It’s never a nice situation to be in – but I have found that my work drinking buddies never thought as badly of me as I was thinking of myself. In some cases I even made some friends that way. Try to put it out of your mind and move forward. I’m sorry you didn’t get the job. Better luck next time!

  17. Junior Assistant Peon*

    I’ve seen situations like this several times in my career. As long as it’s a one-time incident and nothing crossing into sexual harassment happened, there were no consequences other than people saying “remember the time So-and-So got drunk at the company Christmas party?” It sounds like you already have one foot out the door at this company anyway.

  18. Surface Level Paper Cuts*

    OP! omg do not worry, you will get past this and people will move on, so hang tight.

    How do I know? Because, I too, was a sloppy drunk at a holiday party just a few years ago. A few details…I was on a leadership team of ONE for my department (lol, never doing that again), and was tasked with organizing and hosting the said holiday party with a budget of let’s say $500 for 85 people. What the heck, right? Staff ended up brining whatever other liquor they dug out of the cabinets (aka, the booze archives), there was no food, and I decorated with sparkly stuff from the dollar store. I was SO stressed out and so exhausted that I started with wine way too early.

    All I can remember is that just two hours in I was barely standing, I was for sure slurring and at one point I walked outside for a cigarette which I did not myself have but which I took out of a coworkers mouth (yupp!!). Several people helped me stand and eventually someone tossed me into a cab home. The next day I woke up and realized that I had left my wallet, purse and keys at work…what a hot mess! I also had to be back at my desk bright and early because I had to mail out the company holiday cards which management decided at the last minute was incredibly important for employee morale. I mean…really?

    Anywhoo….I’m pretty sure there was something else at play which led to me being insanely drunk in just two and a half hours but I did get to live another day and I did get to put that behind me (along with that job and company which was the most insanely toxic place I’d ever worked at). Chin up!!! You will be okay!

  19. xrunnerx*

    Some time ago I worked at a very high profile arts organization, a place that is a dream job for many many people. We hired a new person into a key role and he started a week before a big gala event. He went to the gala, got you-know-what-faced, and got fired at 9am the next morning.

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