Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss wants me reachable by phone and email on the weekends

I recently joined a new company as a middle manager, and I manage a team that works seven days a week. On arrival, I was given a work mobile and laptop. A couple of weeks later, my manager texted me with a work question on a Sunday morning (on my weekend off). I didn’t see the message until that evening and responded probably over 10 hours later. I did apologize for replying late but didn’t think it was a big deal as it wasn’t an important text and really could have waited until Monday morning. However, my manager pulled me into his office the next day to ask me about it. I said that my work phone just happened to be in a different room at home from me for most of the day and that is going to happen sometimes while I’m out of work. He said in no uncertain terms that it wasn’t okay and the expectation is that I am contactable outside of work due to the level I’m working at in case there is a work emergency and I should always be available by phone (with obvious exceptions such as while driving, at the theater, etc). He also mentioned I wasn’t checking my emails enough on my days off, as mistakes such as my team missing a deadline wouldn’t be picked up until I was actually working. I was at a similar level in my last job and never experienced anything like this.

Is this reasonable and normal part of moving up the ranks? I’m making more of an effort to meet his expectations, but I’m finding it quite stressful to feel so scrutinized while on my “rest days” and get quite anxious about keeping my work phone with me everywhere I go and checking emails frequently. In the evening, when I get home I sometimes forget to take my phone out of my bag and feel sick with panic when I realize it’s been in there for a few hours and I haven’t checked it and could have missed a message. It’s early days so maybe I just need to get used to it?

No, this is not reasonable or normal. It’s true that in some fields, as you move up the ranks, you may be called upon to answer urgent calls or emails outside of your normal work hours. I don’t know if you’re in one of those fields or not. But even in those cases, you’re not expected to answer things that aren’t time-sensitive over the weekend. In fact, a decent employer will usually prefer that you not, so that you save your energy for the stuff that does need urgent attention and so that you’re not entirely burned out.

If your team works seven days a week, you might need to train and deputize an assistant manager to handle things on the days you’re off. That person can contact you when something truly rises to the level of needing your involvement and can field all of the rest.

But no, it’s not reasonable to expect round-the-clock availability unless (a) it’s a norm in your field that they reasonably assumed you would have known about and you’re compensated well for it or (b) they disclosed it in the interview and you’re compensated well for it.

2. I work in payroll and think a coworker is fudging her time sheets

I was wondering if you could help me with a moral question I have. I work in payroll and we have timesheets for our few non-exempt employees. It’s an honor-based system executed in Excel. The employee sends their time – manager approves – I add to payroll.

This has worked for us so far, but one of our non-exempt employees might be ruining it. This employee happens to sit in the cube in front of me so I know that she routinely gets in half an hour late and leaves 15-20 minutes early. Her supervisor works on the other side of the office and would never know if she’s at her desk or not.

From reading your blog, I first thought it was none of my business; maybe she worked something out with her manager, and with her being in different department, her absence doesn’t affect my day at all so I tried not to let it bug me. The thing that I can’t get over is that she submits time sheets to me for payroll that are complete fabrications, saying she gets here on time every day and leaves on time and her manager approves them. I guess what I’m asking is, should I take it upon myself to tell her manager that she is submitting false time sheets?

It’s possible that there’s an innocent explanation for this — like that she does work in the morning before leaving her house or at night once she gets home, and that her manager has okayed that arrangement. But of course it’s also possible that she’s just fudging her time sheets.

Because you run payroll and you’re seeing this happen right in front of you day after day, it’s reasonable to say something to her manager, but you should phrase it in a way that doesn’t assume either way. I’d say something like this: “I wanted to mention to you that I noticed Jane’s time sheets report that she works 9-5 every day, but she frequently arrives at 10 and leaves around 4:45. I know she might have arranged this with you and it’s all above board, but I wanted to flag it in case it’s something you didn’t know and would want to be aware of.”

3. Can I ask for a different interview date?

I have actually gotten an interview for a job I really want. However, I am away on holiday. I could drive back, but obviously that’s a day out of my holiday. Are you entitled to ask for it to be brought forward from a Monday to the Friday before?

You can always ask. Say it this way: “I’d love to come in and interview. I’ll be out of town on (dates). Would it be possible to do it on the 15th or another day instead? If not, I can see if I can figure out a way to drive back.”

It’s possible that they’ll tell you that they can’t offer other dates (sometimes interview schedules can be rigid if an interviewer has to come in from out of town, for example), but it’s entirely normal to ask and they might be able to easily accommodate you. I’ll often offer just one or two dates initially because I’m trying to keep scheduling easy, but I’m happy to find other times if the ones I suggested initially don’t work.

4. How can I tell my friend her job-search gimmicks are a bad idea?

I have a friend who is currently looking for a new job in retail or service. Because I have some more experience than her in interviews and professional development, she’ll frequently ask me for advice. I have recommended your site, recounted what’s worked for me, and pointed her in the direction of career guidance services in our area.

She doesn’t seem to process this and does awful gimmicky stuff like printing her resume on colored paper to stand out, calling to follow up less than two days later, and visting stores/restaurants following the interview so that they’ll remember her.

I worry all this is turning employers off her and making her come across as pushy, but I don’t know how to say this tactfully. Any advice?

“I know you’re really trying to stand out to employers, but everything I read says that most employers see this kind of thing as gimmicky and too aggressive. It’s likely to hurt you more than help you. Here are a few articles about why this will turn off good employers.”

If that doesn’t work, though, you might just need to leave her to figure it out on her own. It’s a good sign that she’s seeking advice, but it’s not a great sign that she’s apparently ignoring it once she gets it.

5. Could an error in a job ad be a test to see if people notice it?

I have worked in editing for approximately 15 years. My experience includes fields that require meticulous language (such as medical documentation) and fields that allow for soft language (such as marketing brochures). Despite feeling confident in my ability to determine the appropriate time and place for precise writing, I’m stumped when it comes to job advertisements that include grammar or spelling errors. Should they be ignored, or mentioned? They’re almost certainly mistakes, but what if they’re tests, given my field?

Professional contacts give me mixed feedback. Responses include “Job ads go through a dozen hands before posting, so errors happen” and “You find fault with things for a living; you need to lighten up.” I’ve also been told that “I’d want to know that an editing applicant noticed, even if it was an error. If you said nothing, I’d wonder if you missed it.”

It’s almost definitely not a test (and if it is a test, it’s weird and a sign of a company with odd judgment). Good employers who want to test your editing will give you an editing test that’s clearly labeled as that. They’re not going to deliberately put errors in the job ad to see if you’ll point them out when they haven’t asked you to, especially since so many people would feel rude or uncomfortable doing that as a job applicant. That doesn’t mean you can’t mention it, especially if there’s a natural opening to do it in the interview, but I’d assume that’s optional and not a test of your abilities.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss complained that he was “the last to know” I’m pregnant

I’m five months pregnant with my third, and now that I’m starting show I finally told my boss that I’m pregnant and will need maternity leave soon. Instead of a congratulations, he acted quite petty and put out, saying he knew I was pregnant because he could hear me and my coworkers discussing it, and he was hurt that he was the “last to know.” He said he doesn’t want me to think of him as a boss, but a friend, and I should’ve told him sooner. The thing is I don’t consider him anything close to a friend; he is a boss to me and nothing more. I told my coworkers earlier because we actually are close friends, and the reason I didn’t tell my boss sooner is because he tends to view pregnancy as a hardship on our business, and launches right into his “we only technically have to give you eight weeks.” speech. I just wasn’t in the mood for it yet.

I think his response was immature, and it’s my body and I could’ve waited as long as I felt comfortable with before telling him (obviously with enough time to prepare maternity leave coverage.) What do you think?

His response is the response of an ass. He doesn’t want you to think of him as your boss? Cool, so does that mean he’s not going to evaluate your performance, delegate work to you, or issue obnoxious reminders of the bare minimum amount of leave he’ll give you? (He’s also wrong about that amount if you’re in the U.S. and work somewhere with 50 or more employees; FMLA gives you 12 weeks.)

Of course he is your boss and not your friend. You had no obligation to tell him you were pregnant earlier, and he has no ground to stand on in claiming he shouldn’t have been the last to know. That’s ground that your mom has, not your out-of-touch boss.

2. I got in trouble for a Facebook spat outside of work

I had an online spat with someone on Facebook in my free time. They wrote an anonymous note to the company I work for saying that I called them names (I called them “whiny”) and that I set a bad example for the company, etc. My boss asked for screen shots but got no reply. Then she friended me on Facebook to find out if I had done this and gave me a verbal warning at work. Should she have done this? I feel my freedom of speech was violated.

Your boss was out of line, but your freedom of speech wasn’t violated, not in the legal sense. Your constitutional right to free speech protects speech from being censored by the government; it doesn’t regulate what private entities can do. In other words, your employer can indeed impose consequences for what you say, even outside work, and even if they’re being unreasonable in doing so. (There are a few state laws with exceptions to this; California probably has the broadest.)

That said, I can’t see how this was any of your employer’s business. Assuming that the person you were arguing with isn’t a coworker and that the subject of the conversation wasn’t related to your employer, this was a huge overreach by your manager. Personally, I’d go back to her and ask why you’re being warned for private, non-work conversations that you’re having outside of work with non-employees … but whether or not that would be smart to do depends on your dynamic with her, how unreasonable she is, and how much risk you’re willing to take.

3. We can’t get a word in during conference calls

My company recently merged with another company in another state. Some departments, including mine, ended up split between the two locations. Most of the upper-level management—my bosses— are in City B. There is a concerted effort to use tech to keep everyone on the same page, with lots of scheduled conference calls, with or without web-sharing, and someone from City B visits our offices in-person every 6 – 8 weeks or so.

The problem: conference calls can be awkward, with all the normal problems of meetings minus the ability to read facial expressions and body language. The folks in City B often start late. And more than a few of them really, REALLY like to hear themselves talk. It’s not uncommon for them to go off on tangents and then run out of time to cover everything or hear from everyone (why they so often run late, I suspect!). Sometimes when a City B person is opining at length and one of us in City A wants to add a comment/question/correction, we open our mouth and take a breath, ready to jump in at the next opening, only to be left gaping like a fish over the conference phone as the speaker plows right through any millisecond of dead air. When this happens repeatedly in the same meeting, we’re left feeling shut down/shut out, sharing frustrated looks with each other as the person on the other end blathers on.

With web meetings, we have the ability to “raise our hands” but since we’re usually not sharing documents it’s less common for us to do that vs. a conference call. Likewise, there is sometimes an agenda, stated at the beginning of the call or emailed beforehand, but not always.

We don’t want to be rude and raise our voices or interrupt someone, but it’s difficult to get a word in edgewise sometimes. Any tips on how to make sure we can contribute in a timely way and be heard in conference calls with our colleagues? (“Please try to be less of a windbag” or “Seriously, do you have gills? How can you talk so long without breathing?” might not go over so well.)

Whoever is running these calls is failing at facilitating them. That person should be cutting people off if they’re going on and on, and should be specifically asking if anyone on your end of call has anything to say.

So say something that person ahead of the next one. You should be able to be pretty direct and say something like, “On our end of the calls, we’re finding it really hard to get time to speak — people tend not to leave any room for us to jump in. Is there a way to specifically carve out time for us to talk — like checking in to see if anyone here has anything to contribute before the call moves on to the next topic?”

4. I tried to tell someone about a job lead over Skype and they removed me from their contacts

A couple of years ago, I left a job to pursue an opportunity at a growing company. At my former job, I oversaw the work (in a dotted lined capacity) of an associate with whom I thought I had a great working relationship. In the 5+ months we worked together, we had a great dynamic and got along well. This person was sharp and I always encouraged this person’s professional growth. I helped by offering access to resources and even bought this person some books on areas of our profession that interested this person as a gift before I departed.

This person has remained in the same position and could really do more now that they have a few years’ experience under their belt. I have the opportunity to expand my department and a job that might be a good next step for this person, so I recently messaged them on Skype regarding the potential position and to gauge interest. Instead of responding, I was removed from this person’s contacts.

I don’t want to read too much into it, but this move has me stunned. We left on good terms. Did I misread our dynamic? Did I breech some kind of etiquette here? Was this person concerned that my message would be seen by higher ups? Was Skype the wrong channel to reach out (even though we’d communicated previously via this method)? It seems like such an extreme response. If I made a misstep, I’d like to know to avoid things in the future.

I don’t think there’s any way to know for sure unless you ask her. I think Skype was an odd method to choose (versus phone or email) but not something outrageous that would warrant blocking you. It’s possible that it was a mistake (she clicked something without realizing it), or a moment of panic if it showed up on her work screen when her boss was walking by, or who knows what. Or, sure, it’s possible that you misread the relationship, but that sounds less likely than the other possibilities.

Do you have her personal (not work) email address? If so, I’d send her an email there and say you tried to relay this over Skype, aren’t sure the message went through, and won’t keep following up with her but just wanted to make sure the info about the job didn’t fall through the cracks. And then from there, leave it in her court.

5. I withdrew from a hiring process and they’ve contacted me again

Three weeks ago, I scheduled an interview with a company that I am a great fit for and where I have all the experience they’re looking for. Because of the distance, I decided to cancel the interview. Surprisingly, three weeks later they called me back to see if I was still interested and wanted to schedule another interview. At this point, I haven’t had luck in obtaining interviews, so I said okay to give it a shot. Is this a good sign that maybe they ran out of candidates and want to see if I would be a good fit?

It’s a sign that they think you might be a strong candidate, and probably that they’re not fully satisfied with the other candidates in their pool right now. I wouldn’t assume that it means you’re a shoo-in or anything like that, but reaching back out to you after you’d already withdrawn is definitely a good sign of interest.

That said, don’t give short shrift to your earlier concerns about the distance. Go to the interview and get more information, but three weeks of not getting interviews isn’t a long time and shouldn’t totally override your concerns about a long commute.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Is it normal to complain about coworkers behind their backs?

I wanted to ask about office norms when it comes to expressing irritation about colleagues. I’m currently working at my first job, and will be leaving in a couple of months due to studying. One of the things that really bothers me about this office is the amount of complaining about people behind their backs that goes on – I understand venting, but a lot of this has a really catty, high school vibe to me.

The room I work in is shared by around a dozen people, depending on the day, and often when someone leaves the room people will start criticizing them, regardless of how senior they are. The worst I’ve heard so far was someone leaving the room and someone else immediately saying “bitch.” Other comments can be things like complaining about someone’s negativity or the way they handle their boss’s requests or, it seems, everything under the sun.

I don’t participate in this, and since I’m leaving soon I’m willing to just put up with the unpleasant atmosphere it creates, but since this is my first job I’d really like to know if this is a normal thing in the workplace. Is it normal to criticize colleagues in their own office? A lot of this stuff I’d consider unpleasant but more acceptable if people did it somewhere else, over their lunch break, or if they were discussing a way to address a problem, but saying these kind of things in someone’s own office just seems kind of mean. I feel like I can’t be the only one worrying that they’re being talked about every time they go to the bathroom.

No, it’s not normal. There are certainly places where it happens, but it’s the sign of a really dysfunctional workplace. It’s a little more common to see private negativity, like one person privately complaining to a coworker about another, but it’s usually deliberately kept discreet, and that’s usually because people recognize that it isn’t okay be open about it. The type of group nastiness that you describe, where people are insulted after leaving a room? Very much not normal, and it sounds like a miserable atmosphere to work in. (And not just miserable in the “these people are jerks” sense — although that too — but constant complaining tends to make the complainers themselves significantly less happy too. )

2. Manager is in a romantic relationship with a junior staff member

My department director just promoted a man who is openly having a romantic relationship with a junior staff member. The junior staff member now comes in late, leaves early, takes long lunches in her boyfriend’s ( our department manager’s) office with the door closed and the blinds drawn, and isn’t required to enter in the staff lottery for vacation time – she’s just granted it. My department director was aware of the relationship when he made the promotion and says we all just “have to be adults” about the whole thing. Based on comments made by the junior staff member, her boyfriend has shared confidential staff files with her – everything from disciplinary documentation to medical notes and salary information. Based on her job functions, there is absolutely no reason why she should have this information, and her sharing of this confidential information has caused several people to quit.

We are a state-run facility and are due for state inspection by the end of the month. My coworkers are all recent college graduates and new in the field and they don’t want to make waves, but after ten years in this field, I know the state and the administration would be appalled. Part of our inspection includes individual performance interviews with the administration, and I plan on telling them about this issue during the interview. This little side drama has caused a drop in staff morale and has prevented us from giving our clients the attention they need. I’ve worked under my director for five years and he is generally a good boss. I want to inform him as a courtesy that I’ll be talking to the state about the manager’s relationship and the breach of confidentiality, but others feel if I warn him he’ll try and cover up the relationship and downplay my concerns to the administration. Is it unprofessional to not make my boss aware of my plans?

Nope, it’s not unprofessional, and in fact I’d recommend that you not mention it to your boss ahead of time if you believe that he’ll actively try to cover up the situation. It’s outrageous that your director knows what’s going on and says you “have to be adults about it,” when being adults about would mean recognizing that what’s happening isn’t okay and needs to be stopped. There’s a reason that dating in your chain of command is prohibited in most companies, even when the people involved handle themselves professionally; in this case, they’re not even doing that.

When you report it to the inspector — and you should — make sure to mention that your director knows and what she said about it.

Read an update to this letter here.

3. Can I ask an acquaintance about what pay range to expect in her job?

I have an upcoming interview for a position as a representative within an organization. Unsurprisingly, the pay was not listed on the job description and I was asked on the employment application for my desired salary, as well as past salaries.

In my research to ensure I am prepared for the interview and (hopefully) pay negotiation, would it be inappropriate or ill-advised to ask an acquaintance, who is currently a representative for the same organization, for an idea of what pay range to expect? If an acceptable question, how can I ask it in a tactful and tasteful way? I would not be replacing the acquaintance; there are several representatives in the organization.

Yes, that’s fine to do, and the way you’ve framed it here is good — ask for an idea of what pay range to expect rather than saying outright, “What do you make?” I’d say it like this: “I want to make sure I’m prepared for any salary discussion that comes up. If you’re comfortable with it, can you give me an idea of what pay range to expect in this position?”

4. I opened a love letter (or something) sent to a volunteer

I received a piece of mail at work addressed “care of Miller.” I have several volunteers with the last name Miller, so I opened it to see who it was sent to. It turned out to be a birthday card that said, “I love you. Please let me back into your life.” Clearly this person does not know where volunteer Miller lives. I am unsure whether to give her the card or not!

I think you need to. If this is someone who your volunteer has told to stop contacting her, she needs to know that that’s being ignored. Worst case scenario, if the person is stalking or otherwise threatening her, she needs to know that they’ve escalated to contacting her at work. And if none of those things are true and it’s a low-risk situation, by not giving it to her you’d be making a decision for her about whether it’s something she’d want to see, which you don’t really have standing to do. So yes, pass it along to her.

5. I’m an independent contractor being treated like an employee

I have a part-time job that I’ve been at for eight months. I have another full-time job and am a full-time student. I was first hired as an independent contractor and didn’t work in the office, only did off-site projects. There was one other employee with the same job description and independent contractor status. Since then, I’ve gotten two raises (which is great), and have been asked to start doing office work. Now, I spend most of my time working in their office, doing basic filing and office work. No one else is doing these projects.

Since school is out, they’ve been pushing for more and more hours from me. My full time job is remote, so I can set my own hours, so I’ve been okay with putting in more time in the office. However, when I run out of my set office work to do, instead of leaving, they want me to train with one of their full-time employees, who is not an independent contractor.

She gets her miles and expenses reimbursed and I do not, as well as receiving the tax benefits. I feel very weird about this. I realize that what I’m doing isn’t really independent contractor work, but I needed the income so I didn’t push back. Is it appropriate now to ask to be transferred into full employee status if I’m doing the exact same things as employees? Also, I don’t really want to spend time training with another employee. I already have a full-time job, and if they’re not going to make me a real employee, I don’t want to have to do the work of one.

I can’t say for sure without knowing more, but based on what you’ve said here and if you’re doing the same things as that employee, it’s very likely that you no longer qualify to be treated as an independent contractor.

It is indeed appropriate to ask to be paid as a full-time employee or to have your work return to the previous set-up. (Keep in mind, though, that converting to employee status may actually mean less pay; independent contractors are typically paid more since they’re responsible for their own payroll taxes and don’t receive benefits.)

I’d say it this way: “Our current set-up with having me do this much work in the office is starting to run afoul of the federal regulations on independent contractors. To stay compliant with the law, I think we have to either move back toward our old model for my work or convert me to employee status, which I’d be glad to discuss doing if that’s something that would make sense on your end.”