where are you now? (a call for updates)

It’s mid-year updates season!

If you’ve had your question answered here in the past, please email me an update and let us know how your situation turned out. Did you take the advice? Did you not take the advice? What happened? How’s your situation now? (Don’t post your updates here though; email them to me.)

Your update doesn’t have to be positive or big to be worth submitting. We want to hear them all, even if you don’t think yours is that interesting.

And if there’s anyone you especially want to hear an update from, mention it here and I’ll reach out to those people directly.

Posted in Uncategorized

{ 262 comments… read them below }

  1. Salt Water*

    Finally got smart and started keeping a list of the ones I’d like to hear updates from. The EA whose boss wanted her to be available 24/7 even for non-work things; the person who saw the texts about her resignation; the supervisor/mother whose direct report/daughter brought her child to work and someone reported it to HR; and – help me out here – all I jotted down was “melodramatic credit-hogging boss.” Not sure that narrows it down much on this site. Thanks, Alison!

    1. Insert Clever Name Here*

      That one was from the other week! “Is my melodramatic, credit-hogging boss a deal breaker?”

  2. triss merigold*

    I always want an update about the heirloom caboose situation, but I fear it will never come.

    1. DEJ*

      This is also on my most-wanted update list. I also want an update from the staff that had driven out anyone who replaced the job of their tragically deceased coworker. And I want to know if the dress code intern eventually had an epiphany.

      1. ItIsWhatItIs*

        Dress code intern, if you mean the big kerfuffle from a few years ago did write in again and I think realized they done screwed up. Maybe even twice? Or someone else from that cohort did because they weren’t sure how to put it on a resume.

        I would also love an update from the person who was managing the group who was driving everyone out after their coworkers traumatic death.

        1. DEJ*

          Someone who was involved in the situation did write in several months later to say they had made a mistake but not the original LW. Alison had said that the LW had doubled down on their original stance in messages to her in the immediate aftermath.

          1. MsSolo UK*

            I feel like maybe the rest of the cohort have dropped by recently to share their strong opinions on their right to wear pyjamas at work…

        2. Observer*

          Dress code intern, if you mean the big kerfuffle from a few years ago did write in again and I think realized they done screwed up. Maybe even twice? Or someone else from that cohort did because they weren’t sure how to put it on a resume.

          It was someone from the cohort.

          I hope the original organizer got a clue eventually. They sounded like a really difficult person to work with, to be honest.

          1. Heffalump*

            I wonder if the guy who disabled his coworker’s caps lock key ever got a clue.

    2. Esa*

      I’d love an update to this one too – even if it’s just how OP mentally navigated things afterwards with a manager like that. Did OP ever comment on the original post?

  3. Wants Green Things*

    It was last year, but I’d love to hear an update from the trucker whose boss tried to pay him to make a porno. Even just to hear that he got out of that dumpster-fire company.

  4. Wonderer*

    I think everyone is desperate for an update to “the CEO is obsessed with me and wants me to be his emotional support”. That one was slightly terrifying and we’d all like to know that they’re OK.

    1. KC*

      I second this! So much of that reminded me of a friend who is an EA whose boss was absolutely nuts. She quit last week :) I hope the OP of that one is doing well!

    2. Popinki(she/her)*

      YES!!! Most of the updates I want are just me being nosy, but I’m legit scared about that woman’s safety.

    3. HMS Cupcake*

      This! I keep thinking about that letter and would love to know if LW has gotten out of that situation.

    4. Irish Teacher*

      Yes, I really want to know what happened there. I hope everything worked out OK for the LW.

  5. Violaine*

    It’s a little soon, but Emotion Support EA for CEO. I hope they got out, or is looking.

  6. EPLawyer*

    I doubt we will ever hear from this person because of both Alison’s answer and the fact people on the internet went to town on it, but I would love to know if the boss from “my employee got uppity over not being paid” did any self-reflection about the whole situation.

    1. Wigglesworth the First*

      Every once in a while a contrite apologetic update comes along, I sure know I’d like to see one from that letter writer!

  7. bunniferous*

    Bring em all on! I’m sitting here quarantined with Miz Rona so I need all the entertainment I can get!

    1. Elizabeth West*

      Sending good vibes for a speedy recovery!

  8. localflighteast*

    Going back a bit but the one whose boss wanted everyone to test to be a liver donor and was firing people who didn’t cooperate

  9. revengeofpompom*

    I would love an update from the college student who wondered “why won’t anyone hire me as their visionary?” I just saw that question was from 2010 (!!!) so I’d love to hear what’s happened with their career. Maybe they now have some years under their belt and have successfully become a company’s visionary!
    Also I’d love to hear the update from the person who was annoyed by the professor spamming everyone with their “what about Christian holidays??” noise

    1. Yay, I’m a Llama again!*

      Yes! I really want updates from the very far away archives! I’d love to know what has happened in the intervening decade…

    2. Popinki(she/her)*

      As a former young stupid know-it-all, I’d bet the wannabe visionary is probably wishing they had a Men In Black flashy thing to erase all memory of that letter. I’m very-times-a-million glad that the internet wasn’t a thing while I was at that stage, because at least all my horrible bright ideas are only recorded in my own head.

    3. Miss Muffet*

      that visionary thing made me think of the 25-ish year old I used to work with who was a freshly minted MBA I believe (so, had gone straight through from undergrad) and was saying she was a career/life counselor on the side. I was like, you have not even had a career or a life yet honey, how on earth can you advise people?! oyyyy

    1. Talvi*

      This one is on my “most desired updates” list every year, but by this point I’m not expecting to ever get an update.

      1. ahhh*

        I was thinking that OP’s company might of had to sign a non disclosure form.

        If the OP is reading this, please send us what you can!

        1. Talvi*

          A non-disclosure of some sort never even occurred to me, but now that you mention it I can see how that could the case in this situation.

  10. ZSD*

    Did the guy from the other day whose wife was upset he was having an emotional affair respond?

      1. Lioness*

        Oh whaaaaaaaaaaat? Now I’m going to make myself a nice cup of tea and go back and do a little light reading.

      2. A Simple Narwhal*

        Ooh thanks for letting me know, definitely going to go check out what he said! The name he used gives me a glimmer of hope.

        1. Zephy*

          He does seem contrite, or at least will concede that 800 people telling him he dun goofed probably means he dun goofed a little bit. As much fun as it is when we have a wildly out of line OP doubling down in the comments, at the end of the day these are real people, so I’m glad he seems to understand what the problem was and says he’s taking steps to fix it.

      3. Meganly*

        To make it easier, you can just search for OP with an asterisk after it to find his comments! I love that Alison added the asterisk thing bc it makes it sooo much easier to find LW comments.

        1. ESus4*

          How do I search within a thread??

          As that letter turned over in my head, I developed an opinion that it was actually written by the wife. What do you all think?

          1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

            you have to be in comments, but on a computer ctrl+f, you can search terms. On a phone, “search on this page”

    1. aleth*

      He wrote a couple of comments — pretty far down, and both of the ones I saw were nested. He was vaguely penitential.

      1. Jake*

        I thought he was very good at acknowledging that it was in fact a problem.

        What it really comes down to is if you believe him when he says he truly didn’t realize what he was doing. If you believe that, he is handling this as well as he can. If you don’t believe him, then he’s a creep who is using plausible deniability to weasel out of this.

        Frankly, I’m inclined to believe him unless I see more evidence to the contrary.

      1. Insert Clever Name Here*

        Search for “my wife says my relationship with my coworker is inappropriate;” I’ll post a link in a followup. It’s currently still in the sidebar, about halfway down, as well.

  11. DANGER: Gumption Ahead*

    I can’t believe how many from this year I want updates on!

    The 5% pay cut if you work from home
    In trouble for wearing the same dress
    New hire who showed up is not person from interview
    Shy employee who wanted to email everything
    New hire with a criminal record
    Coworker says I bullied her but I think she needs a backbone (technically I think this would be a 2nd update?)
    Coworker passing messages from CEO that probably aren’t from CEO
    I’ll put links in a reply for easy reference

    1. DANGER: Gumption Ahead*


      1. Somewhere in Texas*

        Ohhh! Yes to the same dress one. Also, I still need to order that dress…

        1. Talvi*

          I’ve also still got that dress on a list of “things to buy” for a month when my budget allows!

      2. Long time reader-first time poster*

        I was listening to This American Life from a week ago, and the first story sounds EXTREMELY similar to the letter about the new hire who showed up as a different person, to the point where I was wondering if the episode was a rerun as I thought I’d already heard this story.

        It’s the first 6 minute story

        1. Ask a Manager* Post author

          I talked with them for that story — it was initially inspired by the letter here! You’ll hear my name in the credits at the end :)

          1. Long time reader-first time poster*

            That is too funny! That’s what I get for skipping through the credits!

      3. WantonSeedStitch*

        I’d love to hear that the “coworker says I bullied her” OP finally got a clue–their first update indicated that this wasn’t the case!

  12. Rafflesia Reaper*

    I absolutely saw this title and thought it was November already. Panini-related time compression is a THING

  13. cactus lady*

    I would love to hear an update from the person who was job hunting in San Diego from afar.

  14. ElizabethJane*

    The same dress every day (https://www.askamanager.org/2022/01/i-got-in-trouble-for-wearing-the-same-dress-every-day.html)

    The tattoo policy (https://www.askamanager.org/2022/02/an-unreasonable-tattoo-policy-i-went-to-a-college-run-by-a-religion-i-no-longer-follow-and-more.html)

    The phone bill (https://www.askamanager.org/2022/03/my-ex-boss-wants-me-to-pay-a-phone-bill-for-months-i-didnt-work-there.html)

    The Handbag Incident (https://www.askamanager.org/2022/03/the-handbag-incident.html)

    Disliking the popular coworker (https://www.askamanager.org/2022/03/i-dont-like-my-super-popular-coworker.html)

    1. Bob-White of the Glen*

      Ditto – would love to hear what she is up to. Hoping back on her feet after learning some harsh lessons.

      1. Dana Whittaker*

        Please oh please tell me your user name is a fabulous reference to the Trixie Belden books of my childhood! :)

    2. Luna*

      Oh my goodness, I just read this story myself. Yeah, I definitely want a big update on that one!
      Just reading the first part of that story had me see so many red flags, my vision turned crimson.

  15. Trina*

    From February of last year, the female employee who was shamed for not cleaning up the mess her male coworkers left at their shared desk (over the weekends! when she was not even there!)

    1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      Oh yes, the boss said she must keep a slovenly home if she would let the office get this way. WTF?

  16. Cookie Monster*

    I’d love to hear from the person who’s co-worker kept hitting them under the table and jabbed them with their finger 38 times a day.

    I’d also love to hear from the woman who was the assistant to the male HR director. Two women at the company made her life hell because she wouldn’t give them time with him. I believe the phrase “keeper of his zipper” reared its ugly head.

    1. Teekanne aus Schokolade*

      Oh my gosh if you have a link to that you’d make my day, how horrid.

      1. Insert Clever Name Here*

        Search “my coworkers have a crush on my boss and are taking it out on me” and get your popcorn prepared…it is wild.

    2. Berkeleyfarm*

      Oh my goodness. I didn’t see the zipper keeper story. In my defense it got published on the first day I worked from home and I was in full freakout. I would love an update.

  17. Tech Researcher*

    Hoping for the person who decided to take 2 new director positions at different companies simultaneously. Did it work out? Did it backfire? I’m so curious.

    1. A Simple Narwhal*

      That OP commented and said she would definitely post an update! Their question was published in November, so it’s been around six months, sounds like a perfect time for an update!

  18. Teekanne aus Schokolade*

    Every updates season I ask what happened to the company that made their employees comply with the “accomodations” an employee with OCD had to the effect of changing how they wore their clothes and accessories and lining up in alternating gender order at the bus stop.

    1. A Simple Narwhal*

      Yes, that’s a great one! My favorite comment on that thread was in response to if the person in question could work with Sauron (started as a “I don’t care if that’s the one ring to rule them all, take it off of find another” comment and the responses went off delightfully from there), and someone said:

      “The eye is in the middle so it’s symmetrical. She could work with a cyclops, but not a pirate.”

      [Chef’s kiss]


      All joking aside that place sounded like a nightmare, I am very curious as to what the letter writer did, if they tried to push back or just noped right out of there.

      1. Insert Clever Name Here*

        Search “our company is making us do unreasonable things to accommodate a coworker’s mental health.”

  19. Elizabeth West*

    I will take any updates anyone is willing to post. But the Emotional Support EA one is probably at the top of my list. I’m worried about that person. I hope she got out.

  20. Yvette*

    How about the one where an employee stole an intern’s jacket, and her freind was conviced the intern hs set her up as using the intern’s credit card to order stuff from Amazon? It had to have been a set-up, the jacket theif was a chrch-goer and would never steal…

    1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      Same. Like how could OP not see the other side of that? Not saying that it’s the right side (although, I believe it is) but “She wasn’t stealing the jacket. She didn’t use the credit card. She goes to CHURCH!”
      it was nuts.

  21. The Tenth Doctor*

    If possible I would like an update from the OP whose friend gave them a fake/good reference about a bad employee so she would hire said employee and take them off of friend’s hands. I would like to know the fallout and if she ever confronted her friend or not

    1. Kittee*

      Great user name! I figured it was a Dr. Who reference, but my husband speculates it’s the tenth doctor from those ads that say, “Nine out of ten doctors recommend…”

  22. Slinky*

    I have a few that I’d like to see! The person who was being asked to live in a dorm for six months: https://www.askamanager.org/2022/02/im-35-and-my-job-wants-me-to-live-in-a-college-dorm-for-6-months.html.

    Applicant complained about not hearing back: #3 at https://www.askamanager.org/2022/04/i-saw-my-managers-rude-texts-about-my-resignation-a-dramatic-haircut-at-lunch-and-more.html. I am very curious if it was a different job she was referring to!

    I asked for help and got put on a PIP: #2 at https://www.askamanager.org/2022/05/my-coworker-reeks-of-weed-i-asked-for-help-and-got-put-on-a-pip-and-more.html. This was so recent, there may not be an update yet, but I really want to know what happened to them!

    1. Irish Teacher*

      Yeah, I’d love to know what was going on with that PIP one, whether it was just a matter of using the wrong form or whether the manager was really confused about what to do and actually mistakenly put the person on a PIP or whether there were other concerns but the manager phrased them badly and the LW THOUGHT the manager was happy with them but really wasn’t or whether the manager felt they had to act after the LW mentioned some things on which they could improve or WHAT. There were a number of possible interpretations but all indicate miscommunication at best.

      1. miro*

        IIRC, the LW clarified in the comments that there was a typo in the letter and the boss *did* have concerns with their work, which makes it all make a lot more sense (obviously boss still should have been more clear about how concerned they were, but it’s not quite the dramatic story it seemed to be)

          1. Irish Teacher*

            Ah, thanks. I must go back and check. I remember somebody asking but I clearly read it before there was a response. That makes a bit more sense.

  23. Popinki(she/her)*

    The resort manager who wanted to know how to handle guests’ complaints about a nonbinary resident using the women’s facilities. I’m curious about what they ended up doing.

    1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      Oh, that one was so interesting…all the comments offered so much insight. I want to know what happened as well.

  24. I wonder...*

    We need a “like” button for all these wonderful suggestions and comments!

  25. Chocolate Teapot*

    We never did get an update on the collection for a co-worker with a premature baby, but the person who was going to pay the money died in a car crash. In such a terrible situation, what did happen?

      1. Hlao-roo*

        “we raised a lot of money to help a coworker — but the person holding the money died” from April 27, 2017

      1. ECHM*

        Me as well. I knew there was a far-back one I really wanted an update on but couldn’t remember which, and this would be it.

  26. Martin Blackwood*

    The guy whos boss taped peoples mouth shut during meetings! We got one a month later saying the boss would “let” him start looking in April 2020. I read that a few months ago and went “jeez, hope the pandemics treated that guy well”

    1. Observer*

      I hope that that OP realized by people’s reaction just HOW crazy and wrong the boss was.

      1. londonedit*

        Yes – I love the ones where people are so embedded in the toxic culture of their workplace that when they write in they’re all ‘So I don’t know if this is particularly bad in the grand scheme of things…’ and the entire comment section goes ‘No no no this is BAD and you should RUN AWAY’.

  27. Rachel 2: Electric Boogaloo*

    I’d like an update from the LW whose boss was angry that they couldn’t work while they had Covid. I hope that update is that LW got the hell out and is now in a fabulous new job where they are appreciated.

  28. Anyfizz*

    I still occasionally wonder what happened with the manager who noticed that her employee was only hiring attractive people, though they were all competent and otherwise more diverse than the applicant pool.
    A lot of people got quite heated in the comments, but I’m curious what the end result looked like. Did the chain break? Did she shut down CSI team talk?

  29. B*itch in the corner of the poster*

    This is a super old one, but the person who wrote in after getting her MBA from U of Phoenix. She was really angry in the comments, but it’s been years. I’d love to hear a happy update on how her career is going.

  30. Pinkbasil*

    https://www.askamanager.org/2021/11/employee-threatens-to-sue-us-when-we-tell-her-to-save-work-files-i-dont-want-to-put-up-holiday-decorations-and-more.html – letter #1
    https://www.askamanager.org/2022/03/community-member-asks-to-hear-from-male-employees-instead-of-me-saying-thats-above-my-pay-grade-and-more.html – letter #1

  31. Hlao-roo*

    “I sent an angry response to a work email — was I in the wrong?”

    “our highly-paid, overworked junior staff keep leaving just as we get them fully trained”

  32. Miel*

    I’d love to hear from the person who was high-up in an investment banking firm and who couldn’t get junior employees to stay at the firm (because of the absurdly long hours) despite high pay and a weekend off every 2 months.

    I really hope she’s gotten out of there, tbh!

    1. Heffalump*

      I had the impression that it wasn’t in the LW’s power to fix the situation.

  33. Sherm*

    I would love to hear from the OP whose secret Santa gift was a recorded greeting from an “adult” actress.

  34. Melanie Cavill*

    I would love to hear from the employee whose boss (the LW) was very disturbed at how they reacted (firmly but professionally!) when they weren’t paid not once, but twice.

  35. MN_Jen*

    I would love to hear from the consultant (? or freelancer?) who declined a Qanon-adjacent project and was then badmouthed to her references by said Qanon believer.

      1. Hlao-roo*

        Yes, the original is ‘interviewer badmouthed me to my references because I didn’t want to “harness the power of QAnon”’ posted on July 28, 2021 and the update was posted on December 1, 2021.

        I’ll post the link to the update in a follow-up comment.

    1. Luna*

      Goodness, that is one that needs an update!
      I do feel for the person, but I do hope she realized that there is no return to ‘normal’ for her as it was prior to the accident. Her ‘normal’ has been changed. (Like how the panini-demic has changed the concept of ‘normality’ for the world)

  36. Whatever I am today*

    I want to hear from the OP whose coworker was mistakenly assuming she’d been abused but in reality she was recovering from surgery. The coworker went off the railways with harassing the OP. I want to know that the OP is okay. Because that story was not OK.

    1. Cat Mouse*

      I thought there was an update where we learned the report stayed, it was handled well and with empathy

      1. Updates rock!*

        Hi Cat Mouse (great name!). Yes, the OP did write an update about how he ended up handling the matter (very compassionately!). But it was very shortly after the initial letter and I wondered what happened long-term. On second thought, though, my request for an update is maybe delving too much into the privacy of his employee.

  37. Green Goose*

    I want an update from the woman who gave notice at her daycare and the daycare owner went nuts.

  38. BoratVoiceMyWife*

    I was LW#5 here: https://www.askamanager.org/2022/04/manager-asks-if-she-can-call-us-on-our-days-off-exhausted-by-comments-on-my-hair-and-clothes-and-more.html

    I took Alison’s advice and script basically verbatim. Less than two weeks later I received a similar offer where the in-office policy was allegedly far more flexible, but the salary package and healthcare benefits were strangely structured and ultimately the $10K increase in base would’ve somehow actually been a backwards step for me financially. I also declined this offer and am *still* searching after almost 18 months, but those two offers have given me the confidence to be able to say no and not settle for a role that isn’t right across the board — salary, benefits and the flexibility my family needs. Thanks, Alison!

  39. Will's Mom*

    I want an update from the person who wrote in about their inability to find a job and had suicidal ideations. His or her story exactly mimicked what happened with my son. Sadly, my son chose death. They were not able to get a job based on their degree so they took a dead end job for a while. When they finally got an interview doing what they wanted, it fell through. This person was very depressed about it. I think about this person daily.

    1. Spindle and thread*

      Oh Will’s Mom, I am so so sorry about your son. And it is so good of you to worry about someone else. I too think of the person who posted (Quinn?) and hope they are getting through this. Hugs to you.

    2. Sometimes supervisor*

      Appreciate coming to this late but couldn’t read and run – I’m so sorry for your loss.

  40. Heffalump*


    I don’t imagine the LW is taking vacation again so soon, but I wonder if they implemented any of Alison’s suggestions for next time.

    When the LW related that a coworker said, “Can’t you just take this one 30-minute meeting while you’re out?” my blood pressure went up on their behalf!


    I wonder if “Ben” and “Jane” made any sort of attitude adjustment.

  41. Aha llama face*

    If she’s comfortable replying, I’d like to hear from the person who exposed her breast cancer scars to coworkers because they were implying she had faked her cancer (March 2020).

  42. My Cabbages!*

    I know it’s way too soon, but I hope we hear back from the young woman in law school who had the crazy interview with the guy who said he wasn’t going to pay her for two months and gave her client files to do free work on for the interview process.

  43. Princesa*

    I know it’s pretty recent, but I want an update to this one:
    the CEO is obsessed with me and wants me to be his emotional support
    I really want to know how this played out!

  44. lucky coin*

    Every day, I long for an update from the OP whose boss would not look her in the eyes in social settings. I still go back to that letter and laugh at Alison’s list of hypotheses – a friend, my partner, and I all chose sides (he’s madly in love with you vs. he’s madly in love with your husband)!

  45. Not Mad Just Disappointed Scientist*

    Bout to drop an update on Jane the Complainer…spoiler alert, it does not end well for me. :/

  46. Harry Dresden*

    I really want to find out about the religious harassment between the 2 Islamic employees and the Wiccan, the boss was trying to force the OP to fire the Wiccan even though the 2 others were bullying him.

  47. inkheart*

    Handsy Bartholemew at the winery – from May 2021, but I don’t know how to create a link.

  48. Elbereth Gilthoniel*

    Did “I work on a Hellmouth/I worked on a Hellmouth” ever send an update in? I’d like to hear from them…hopefully to hear that their new job remained normal and they have not been near a hellmouth for sometime.

  49. londonedit*

    I’d love an update on the one where the OP had a co-worker who kept talking about her dead husband, but the OP discovered a Facebook profile for said husband with recent posts and comments from his ‘current wife’. There was a load of speculation in the comments about the various scenarios that could have explained it, but I don’t think there was any resolution on what had actually happened or whether the OP discovered any more (they’d already expressed their surprise to another colleague when they found the FB page, but I don’t know whether they ended up asking the co-worker about it, or finding a logical explanation, or what!)


  50. frida*

    I know we’ll likely never get an update because he left the company, but I still think about the letter about the employee who had severe enough health anxiety it was pushing others to quit and ended with him barricading himself in his apartment because he thought he had caught the plague from a coworker. With the events of the past few years, I really, really hope he’s doing better.

  51. Luna*

    I might have sent an email a few years ago.
    My li’l update is that I was let go in October 2019 from my latest job and had decided to pause my job search over Christmas 2019, due to a lot of employers either going on vacation at the time or the business closing over the holidays, so I figured I wouldn’t get any news or replies until the new year, anyway.

    Shortly after the new year and more job searching, of course, COVID hit and everything closed down and went into lockdown here in Germany. So, I have been looking unsuccessfully for a good two years. I was even denied jobs of being a shelf stocker, when grocery stores were desperately looking for them to do just that because of the panic-buying.

    But the good news is, I recently got an interview at a clothing store that I rather like, and was even given an acceptance and contract sent to me a few hours after the interview! I am starting my new job soon, and while it may not be the best-paid position, and it is only part-time (20 hours a week), it IS a job and it IS a way for me to earn money again! And it’s even in a place that I think I will enjoy working in, which is something I haven’t had in a bit. And even with just part-time, I can get myself back into the working world, and even see it as a potential ‘goal’ to eventually ask if it’s possible to make me a full-time employee after my initial contract runs out.

  52. ecnaseener*

    I’d like another update from the LW whose boss yells in angry emails. We got 1 update that she was furloughed and temporarily reassigned, but by now she must have either gone back to her old job or been laid off/resigned.

  53. Dwight Schrute*

    The one where the boss was telling weird lies about their employees- like that someone served in the military when they didn’t, etc

    1. TK*

      I think it was actually that he had been in the military but the boss was telling people he had PTSD from being in a war zone and in reality he’d never been in combat. I’m not sure if that’s a better or worse lie?

      I think another one was that there was an employee who had the condition where their eyes were naturally 2 different colors, and boss was telling everyone they were faking it and wearing colored contacts. SO WEIRD.

  54. Queen Ruby*

    I wrote i a few months ago asking about “professional hours”. I still haven’t figured out what it means, but I did get written up for not working enough hours. I was blasted for not working over the weekend and not enough hours during the week to get a totally unacheiveable amount of work done. My strongly worded response to the written warning was pretty perfect, if I do say so myself lol

    1. LilPinkSock*

      Oh no! When you were spoken to the first time you wrote in, nobody told you what “professional hours” means at your company? Bad form on their part!

  55. awesome3*

    If any of these have updates disregard, but here is my list I’ve been keeping:

    – no humor allowed in the office
    – We can only bring our spouses to the holiday party if we have kids
    – My employee set up a false fraud investigation
    – When I asked for a raise my boss went through my bills
    – My employee’s husband won’t stop calling me to complain about her evaluation
    – Employee won’t stop talking about another employees prosthetic limb
    – Any question where they are writing in to settle a debate
    – Company wants me to pay back half of my salary since I only worked for a few months and didn’t add enough value

    1. Hlao-roo*

      There was an update to the no-humor office:

      update: my new office has a no-humor policy – February 1, 2022

      No updates for any of the rest as far as I can tell. I second that anyone who wrote in to settle a debate should update us with the outcome!

    2. Very Social*

      The people who won’t stop talking about the prosthetic limb is on my list, too!

  56. Irish Teacher*

    Probably a while back, but…the person who bit a coworker and another coworker said it really wasn’t that big a deal given everything else that happened in that company.

    1. Hlao-roo*

      There was one update from the “I bit my coworker” LW and I’d love another! Hopefully they have moved on to a functional, non-toxic company.

    1. Anne of Green Gables*

      YES!! This one has also been on my list for a while! I would love to know if she was allowed to wear her ring, or if she stayed.

  57. No Crying In Baseball*

    There was a recent re-run where a worker’s dad was calling asking about travel details: https://www.askamanager.org/2022/05/a-parent-called-me-to-ask-about-their-adult-kids-work-travel.html

    And there was one from a while back where a person was job searching in academia and felt overqualified for a position and was livid that they didn’t get hired. They wanted to push back – hard – to demand the job. I can’t find the link (I’m pretty sure it was on this site). I’m just curious if that person ever did some self-reflection or found a job.

  58. Temperance*

    I would love an update on:

    1. Bird attack letter (that one haunts me)
    2. Liver boss
    3. chemo boss
    4. any and all letters about someone with a fake child / husband / wife /fiance / sick child

    1. EvilQueenRegina*

      Yes, I’d forgotten that last one, but that was one I wanted an update on!

  59. Jake*

    This one is a huge reach, but I’d like an update from the OP who had been a stay at home mom for a long time, but then tried to re-enter the work force and was CONVINCED both in the letter and the comments that her husband funneling all communications with her employer through him was perfectly normal.

      1. No Crying In Baseball*

        Just spent way too much time reading through this. Yes – update please!!!!

    1. Heffalump*

      Been reading the comments on and off over the last day, and something hit me: the LW and her husband are giving their children a terrible model of marriage and family life. Analogous to Alison’s statements that a dysfunctional workplace can warp your sense of norms.

      The more you chew on this post, the more ugly ramifications you find.

  60. Heffalump*

    We had an update on cheap ass rolls (that was so bizarre!), not from the OP, but from a coworker of the OP. Have there been any other such cases?

    1. Hlao-roo*

      There was a similar case from the Dress Code Interns:

      The original letter is “I was fired from my internship for writing a proposal for a more flexible dress code” from June 28, 2016.

      The next year, another one of the interns who signed the petition wrote in here: “I was one of the interns fired for writing a proposal for a more flexible dress code” from May 10, 2017.

      1. Heffalump*

        Technically you’re right. I was thinking more of cases where the coworker was still in touch with the OP and in a position to know what happened after the original incident.

    1. Heffalump*

      I went over this one this past weekend, reading just about all the comments this time. The OP generally doubled down in multiple comments and got testy with Alison and the other commenters. So I don’t hold out much hope, much as I’d like to.

  61. Jean (just Jean)*

    I would love to know that the past commenter Jamie, who always contributed thoughtful comments, is doing well. No pressure for a public response; I’ll be satisfied to imagine that Jamie reads this and knows that they’re still being thought of warmly.

  62. Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii*

    Another update to “My coworker thinks I’m being abused and won’t let it go” would be awesome.

  63. Pengy*

    There already was one update, but I’d love another for the woman who was training her replacement who was condescending, rude, and won’t listen.

    The OP was stepping back from a managerial role and training someone to take on a significant client facing role. It was an internal hire. the first and only update was in 2019, a the OP was heading off to maternity leave, with the internal hire already banned from contacting customers and more and more workload piled on the VP. Given covid and everything else, very curious to hear how this went.


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