my colleague’s auto-reply says she might never answer your email

by Alison Green on August 20, 2025

A reader writes:

Two months ago, a colleague introduced me to a colleague at a similar organization to mine. We were trying to figure out if there was merit in working together on a project or not, combining our skills. After my first email, I received an auto-response saying that they might not respond because of the large volume of email they receive and because they are very busy. There was no indication of this auto-response being temporary (no “this week is our annual gala, hence my replies will be slower than normal”) and no other person suggested to approach instead (no “if you are looking for advice on X, please contact Bernice instead”).

I found it strange and was wondering if this is acceptable or not. They did get back to me right away, and we are collaborating now. But that first response left me wondering if I could count on their input on the project bid, given that they had signaled they were so busy (busy enough for the auto-response).

They are of a similar level as I am, and not the author of a best-selling book who might be expecting hundreds of fan mails. To me it came across as not being able to manage the communications that come with the job. We are all busy in our field, so why make yourself the exception? I would not like my employees to use such a generic “I am busy” auto-reply, but am I being too judgmental?

I answer this question over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.

You may also like:
{ 128 comments }

{ 128 comments… read them below }

  1. A Book about Metals*

    Depending on her specific job and organization, it could ok or it could be that she’s really strange. Either way if you start working together and you need something timely, I’d call or text!

    1. Cupcakes in the Breakroom*

      Yes, I work with students, and they often expect a very rapid response. Many of the younger ones haven’t really dealt with asynchronous two-way communication or office norms yet. Several colleagues have auto-responses that indicate the message was received but the reply might take a day or two. However, none of them say they’re just too busy and may not answer at all…

      1. JelloStapler*

        I too work with students and we have used out of office replies to share if it is busy and our response will be slow. We also don’t reply immediately all the time and not over weekends, if they get pushy, we explain.

        But we dont’ say “we just won’t”

        1. NotBatman*

          All of this. I also work with students, and it’s less than 1% who’ll email you 4 times between 3:30AM and 4:00AM with subject lines like “URGENT! I can’t submit my homework REPLY ASAP!!!” But boy does that <1% make my inbox feel like a minefield sometimes.

          1. Adultier Adult*

            Whew those make me insane! I used to respond, while also addressing that it is inappropriate to follow up 5-6 times in a short time. Now, I keep my “respond within 36 hours rule” of the university & they will learn eventually

            1. Perfectly Cromulent Name*

              SO frustrating! I had to put my turnaround time in my syllabus so I could point to it when they got angry over me not answering their seven emails on Sunday between 1 and 4am. Like NotBatman* said, there were not that many of *those students* but the students who were like that make everything so very stressful!

          2. Derek*

            I’ve started replying “I’m checking with everyone ahead of you in my queue to see if they agree that you’re a higher priority than they are.” It’s cut down on the urgent messages a little.

            1. jez chickena*

              I am surprised they don’t respond to that with an email from their Mommy or Daddy.

              My partner has moved his Gen Z sister in and she is SO.MUCH.WORK while keeping her contributions to the household at zero.

              I feel for you educators.

          3. constant_craving*

            It doesn’t fully prevent it, but I put in my syllabus expectations for email response (within 24 hours excluding weekends and holidays), so I at least don’t feel (overly) guilty when I don’t respond to those ridiculous ones. It seems to help a little.

          4. JelloStapler*

            Then, when you reply during business hours, offering to help, they ghost you. Well, I guess it wasn’t urgent.

            Or the person who calls and hangs up every 5 minutes within a 30 minute period.

            (Add/drop period right now, this is on my mind LOL)

      2. Tiger Snake*

        Nah, I’m thinking this is to try and shove people back through the right gate.

        You see it sometimes with certain kinds of roles – like, lets say you’re involved in the HR for your organisation. You have official contact channels for employees to ask questions, submit paper work, register a new project, etc. There’s a mailbox, or a webform.

        But staff don’t want to use the web form or the mailbox, because they don’t want to wait that long for a reply. But they’ve met you before, and they think that you’re involved, and so they decide to reach out to you directly. They’re trying to fast track and skip the process.

        So you have an auto-response that tells everyone that you focus on the most pertinent emails you receive, and that any questions should be sent to the email. These sorts of responses are stopping everyone who’s trying to skip, so that she can focus on the emails that she actually needs to respond to – like our LW.

  2. CubeFarmer*

    I recently worked with a consultant whose aut0-reply reads similarly:

    “Thank you so much for spending the time to reflect on the best way to convey your request or desire to connect via an email. While you await a response please note:

    “It is normal for me to take a few days to read my emails/texts and a few more days to reflect on the matter to respond calmly. The culture of immediacy along with the constant fragmentation of time are not compatible with the kind of life I practice.”

    That’s all well and good, but, the phrasing seems very, very entitled. “Thanks for reaching out. Normally, I’m able to respond to emails and texts within 48 hours.” This is work, after all, not a group therapy sesh.

    1. HannahS*

      Wow, that’s…very precious. I’m expected to keep up with about five different email addresses across different institutions, most of which require two-factor authentification, and none of them can be auto-forwarded into each others’ inboxes. To maintain my sanity, if I’m not working at a particular site at a given time, I set my autoreply to say, “I am not currently working at site and this inbox is not being monitored. For issues pertaining to ABC, please contact [relevant person.]”

    2. Blue*

      Wow the DRAMA of this is beyond too much! Even something like “due to the volume of emails I receive, it may take me a week or more to reply to your message.” would be fine or at least not so off-putting. Save something for the group chat.

      1. Ellie Rose*

        yes! me as I was reading the example: oh that seems pretty reasonab– wait what the heck?!

        that ending is very…um. odd? unprofessional?

    3. Mid*

      That’s one of those emails that would make rounds on TikTok and Instagram, getting praised, while being very out of touch with how most offices actually work. Do I wish I could say that at my job? Yes. Would I be told to immediately remove that response and possibly end up losing my job? Yes.

      1. A Reader*

        It’s also just like…CubeFarmer emailed Consultant (presumably at Consultant’s business email address) because of Business Reason X, it’s fine that Consultant has a life philosophy, but CubeFarmer didn’t ask about that, they asked about Business Reason X.

      2. CubeFarmer*

        I’m almost certain that this person is newish to the working world and considers themselves a sort-of leisure-class type of consultant, like, I’ll work when and where I want to. Given their rates, I don’t think they’ll have to worry about business for much longer.

        If the goal is to set expectations about a response window, just say that. (“I’ll respond to your message within 48 hours, excluding weekends and holidays.”) Don’t talk down to me because I sent you a business message using an acceptable form of business communication.

    4. Nonny*

      It also reads as condescending to me, like you’re being looked down on if you just sent a quick message and didn’t spend extra time proofreading and meditating on the most serene way to ask for last month’s TPS reports.

      1. CubeFarmer*

        So condescending. When they do deign to respond to an email, the sign-off is, “Thank you kindly and Enjoy the type of day of your choosing,”

        1. Greg C.*

          I am both fascinated by this emerging character portrait, and have a deep desire to never work with this person

          1. CubeFarmer*

            As I said in another comment, I’m pretty sure that this person is rather new to the working world.

            1. JelloStapler*

              “I find the need to have a cocktail at a work happy hour glorifies the culture of drinking, so I bring my own homegrown kombucha to drink”

    5. Anonym*

      My takeaway is that if an urgent reply is needed, they will *not* be able to reply calmly, which is wild. I would be morbidly curious to see that theoretical situation play out.

      “Since you DEMANDED an IMMEDIATE reply, I will NOT be held liable for the tone or content of my response!!! How dare you~!! SO rude!! Since you absolutely MUST know now for ‘planning purposes’, the answer to your peremptory inquiry is: Yes, I am available for an initial consultation on your project next Thursday. How is 2pm?

      GOOD DAY.”

      2. ThreeSeagrass*

        I do wonder if they meant “thoughtfully” instead of “calmly.” Because, like Anonym, I wonder what the non-calm response would be :P

        1. CubeFarmer*

          I don’t know. The text reads like it was workshopped before it was used, so my assumption is that every word was a deliberate choice.

        2. I Super Believe In You, Tad Cooper*

          I’m picturing movie-version Dumbledore asking about the Goblet of Fire.

    6. RA*

      … I swear I’ve seen this exact text as a joke. The fact that someone is actually using this wording is kind of hilarious to me.

    7. Anon Attorney*

      Oh my goodness this would be so bizarre and out of touch in my field!!!! LOL. Like, you don’t have to say all of that!

    9. Goldenrod*

      “The culture of immediacy along with the constant fragmentation of time are not compatible with the kind of life I practice.”

      Okaaaaay. I think my response would be – that’s great for you, are you also independently wealthy? If not, you sort of have to do your job.

    10. LookAtMeI'mTheManagerNow*

      When “self-care” becomes “treating every other person as if they’re an inconvenience”

      1. Relentlessly Socratic*

        To be fair, I’m sorely tempted to make this my brand some days.

        But, then, since I’m a consultant who isn’t happy unless she’s working three projects with competing deadlines, my concept of self-care might need some reconsideration….

    11. Nonprofit writer*

      LOL. This person is a consultant? I am too & cannot imagine sending this kind of reply to my clients. Part of my job is figuring out how to manage multiple clients & triaging their requests accordingly. Yes, sometimes that means deliberately waiting to reply (because I know them & I know they will rethink their message soon or that 5 other stakeholders will chime in soon) but I don’t need to announce that to them.

      1. Zona the Great*

        They’d have been fired from the project and I’d have submitted a vendor performance report for it.

        1. Annony*

          Yep. If they were already hired, I would forward it to my boss and find out how to sever that business relationship since clearly it isn’t going to work for us. If they hadn’t been hired, I would move on to the other consultants we are considering and let them know we went in a different direction if/when they do respond.

    13. MissMuffett*

      “With the kind of life I practice”. My dude, unless you’re like a yogi on a mountaintop, you might need to actually respond to emails in a timely fashion.

    14. Bunch Harmon*

      This reminds me of a customer from a book store I worked at years ago. People often placed special orders for items we didn’t have in stock, and when they came in we had to call to let them know. The voicemail for one regular customer said, “I’ve recently made some changes in my life. If you weren’t one of them, I’ll call you back.” There was some intense speculation among the staff about that one.

      1. Goldenrod*

        As someone who worked in a bookstore for over six years, man, those customers were TERRIBLE.

        And I’ve done other retail jobs, but the bookstore customers were by far the worst. My theory is that 95% of them were great people – but those were the ones that didn’t interact with staff, because they were self-sufficient. The other 5% – the weird emotional needs and attention seeking were off the charts.

      2. Hot Flash Gordon*

        I seriously would not be able to move on with my life until I knew the whole story.

    15. Martin Blackwood*

      Man if it takes 48 hours for you to be able go respond calmly to an email you have bigger problems. Drop your shitty clients or go to therapy

    17. NotAnotherManager!*

      This is way more info (and condescension) than I need in an email response. No one cares about the recipients process, only when they might expect to hear back or an alternate contact.

      This would be a single warning incident in my office, especially if it was set to go to external contacts (customers/partners).

    18. borealis*

      I have the opposite reaction to you. I think it’s an excellent message, and it makes me really sad that a person wanting to be careful and measured in their response is interpreted as them being entitled.

      1. Lula*

        I think what you’re missing is that most people want to be careful and measured on their response to emails! they just make that possible for themselves without using an auto-reply that comes off as scolding people for operating according to standard business norms.

      2. DisgruntledPelican*

        It’s because it comes across like Ted Moseby telling you his parents live in Ohio, while he lives in the moment.

      3. Very important details*

        I’m curious why they have to expend such significant effort on sending emails calmly. What’s getting them so emotional in the first place?

        1. Mommadog*

          Very important details>they’re “sensitive”. Someone needs to tell them to grow up. The world does not revolve around their ” feelings”.

          1. Galadriel's Garden*

            Ha, as someone who is sensitive and is frequently on the receiving end of some very…intense (or, frankly, stupid) emails from our sales team, you gotta learn to turn the sensitive part of yourself off for the workday. I spent some time earlier in my career being personally offended by every remotely iffy email and message and it was *exhausting*, and not worth it. Learning to roll your eyes and move on in the moment is critical, and if it’s a real doozy, save it as an “omg you wouldn’t believe what my coworker Doug said to me this time” anecdote for your partner or friends.

      4. coastal transplant*

        I second, and I’m glad I’m not the only one.

        I’ve worked in a “reset job” — a supportive office environment that values our mental health.
        and while I may hesitate before using it for work, I could definitely see myself using this for my personal email / email I use to volunteer with.

        when I left the coastal metropolitan and moved to a southern suburb, I was shocked but also pleasantly surprised that people would often respond after 2-3 days instead of 2-3 minutes / hours. I felt like I could actually breathe between emails.

      5. Bella Ridley*

        Do whatever you want but if you send a response like that, know that people will think you’re being a precious darling about an email that probably asked “Have you gotten around to verifying the general report for this week?”

    19. cloudy*

      Unfortunately I can totally see someone in my department writing something like this… It’s kind of like the inverse version of our department heads at one point encouraging everyone to add something like the below to their email sig:

      “While I may send emails at any time of the day, in the interest of self-care and work-life boundaries, please do not feel obliged to respond to this message outside of your working hours.”

      I’m not personally a fan of it because email is already asynchronous, but I’ve accepted the ‘self-care fluff’ as a cultural quirk of my workplace.

      1. Sunny*

        Actually, I think this is a great reminder, and not “self-care fluff” at all. Yes, email is technically asynchronous, but many people don’t treat it as such – and especially when there are power dynamics at play. So a reminder that I don’t expect you to work nights just because I am is actually helpful.

        Unlike the example upthread, this one doesn’t scold the sender or include snide, passive-aggressive “I’m sure you thought long and hard before daring to email me” digs. It’s more of a gentle ‘no obligation on you’ courtesy.

        1. cloudy*

          That’s super fair! It probably has also just partially lost its meaning/impact for me because everyone has a variant in their signature, so I essentially see it 100 times a day.

          1. Lula*

            I think the wording of it comes off a bit touchy-feely, but I think the sentiment (I send emails at non-standard hours without an expectation that you’ll reply then) can be worth expressing depending on the workplace.

        2. Coastal Transplant*

          I actually hated those blurbs.
          I felt like the opposite, that it normalized people working long hours.
          I think it was theoretically meant to allow people working flex time, but in reality I suspect it just normalized and covered a culture of workaholism, and people Not Resting or having realistic workloads.

      2. Annony*

        I also don’t really get adding that blurb. If you are really concerned about optics of sending emails over the weekend or in the middle of the night, just set it up to send during business hours. Otherwise it kinda comes across as “I take my work seriously and check email at all hours but I don’t hold you to the same standards.”

        1. constant_craving*

          This does not work when everyone does not have the same working hours though. Things like differences in time zones and hours scheduled differently than the standard workday. I don’t expect people to memorize the standard working hours of everyone they may email.

          In other words, it’s not just about sending emails in the middle of the night. It’s also about acknowledging the email sent to a recipient at 2pm on a Tuesday or something may not match their working hours.

      3. CubeFarmer*

        I don’t mind that, especially if the email is to someone over whom you have authority.

        I don’t have a line like that in my signature, but I’m very careful to say that I don’t expect an out-of-hours response from my report when I email her at odd times (I sometimes just have to send an email when I’m thinking about it or I will forget. I know that’s not great, so I want to make it clear that I don’t expect anyone to be looking at email when I am.)

    20. BatManDan*

      As a self-employed person, and a consultant-of-sorts, I absolutely respect this person’s message. It has several high-value functions, one of which would be weeding out people who wouldn’t be compatible as clients. If anyone is already a client, they fully understand this position, and most likely embrace it. This is exactly the sort of person I’d want to do business with, if at all possible.

      1. Hall monitor of the universe*

        Agreed.

        Not only do I like to work with compatible personalities, but I am also fine with not working with not compatible personalities.

      2. jez chickena*

        Sometimes, when you are a consultant, especially an expensive one, clients will tell you that they only expect communications to be during business hours. The reality is that when one of the partners from my biggest client calls me on Friday at 7 PM, flying from a few glasses of vino, wanting to discuss one of his wine-fueled ideas, I usually take the call.

        I roll my eyes a lot, though.

    22. Coffee Protein Drink*

      “…to reflect on the matter to respond calmly…”

      Sounds like someone has been told to think before they reply to emails and is being maliciously compliant.

  3. Meep*

    Honestly? I have a couple of bosses who need this. One was a professor with his own admin (which was unheard of) because he would just get stuck on something and be dead to the world for weeks while he worked out his problem. The other is allergic to email.

  4. Chairman of the Bored*

    This seems pretty fair to me as long as the message is worded politely and give the sender an accurate description of the likely outcomes.

    The reality is that something like ~30% of the work people try to give to me is never going to get done, or at least not done by me. Better that they know that upfront than they get surprised by it later.

    1. AnonAnonSir!*

      I’d say it could be made to work if she gave other options for communication – eg ‘I may not get back to you but if you are enquiring about public events please consider messaging X email account, if you are enquiring about speaking opportunities please consider Y email account, etc’.

      1. AlsoADHD*

        This is what I was imagining. We have someone in People Ops who gets tons of crazy irrelevant emails and she has a message similar to this.

    2. Anon Attorney*

      This has got to to be so industry specific because in my role it would never be okay to say that! If someone tried to ask me to do something that wasn’t my role I’d be expected to respond to let them know that, at least.

      1. NotAnotherManager!*

        Same. We provide template OOO messages for new hires to avoid oversharing/inappropriate phrasing. Ours is a client-service business and “that’s not my job” is never an acceptable response. If it’s not your job, connect the person whose job it is, don’t make the client play a guessing game or get silence back – that’s how you lose them.

        2. Anne Shirley You Don’t Mean That*

          Unfortunately sometimes there is no other person or department to do those tasks. So it becomes our “other duties as assigned” ad infinitum. Since time and resources are not infinite, some stuff will not get done, even if the organization (local government, in my case) hates it when we say that.
          With one hand the mayor giveth tasks, initiatives, and projects, and with the other, the mayor taketh away staff positions.

  5. Jane*

    I also think that it depends and that it’s the kind of thing where if you know the person already, you probably won’t be put off by it and if you don’t know them at all, it’s probably useful information for you to have. I think the letter writer is in kind of a unique sweet spot in between those two categories so that might be why she was taken aback by it.

    I agree that it can be helpful to provide some kind of alternate idea like, if you have an urgent request please call the company’s main line, but people would probably already do that?

    I actually have a similar note on my tinder profile saying not to message me if you are expecting an immediate reply. …

  6. I'm just here for the cats!!*

    We have a department email address and sometimes will get students emailing to set up an appointment with a counselor. This is not how to do so (There are several ways, including self service with detailed instructions online) and we don’t monitor the email closely. We also get other requests from staff to visit classes, etc. We have a autoreply telling people to call and to not put personal information about why they need to see a counselor in emails.

    2. Pay no attention...*

      This is similar to our IT helpdesk — each tech has a personal email address but their auto-reply for all of them is to submit a ticket using the support website and communicate via the ticket comments, rather than try to email them personally which they won’t monitor. Fine, until I’m working with them on a project that’s unrelated to needing tech support, like setting up a department/employee photo, creating department signage/brochure/flyer, or posting their tech support messages on our campus-wide digital screens… basically I’m the one trying to assist them, and it’s nearly impossible to communicate.

  8. CrochetFrog*

    I agree that it’s highly dependent upon the context of the job. I’ve seen this type of auto response a lot working in higher education, especially for people like advisors or departmental admin assistants – they get TONS of emails from students, parents, random curious folks, etc., all the time. Though I’ve not been an advisor myself, I knew many of them over the years and they seem to get a constant barrage of emails that amount to “What is the main website”, “what is my admission status”, “what time are you open”, etc. I have seen most of them include some links or other verbiage in the auto response that tries to direct the person to resources that will answer 99% of their questions. I have worked with some people who said they got emails every day from the same students that are just “any update?” Putting in a statement that they receive a large volume of email helps somewhat, but nothing is foolproof.

    From my own higher ed experience, once someone gets ahold of your email and knows that you will likely help them, they never let it go. Even after 15 years at my last institution, I was still getting emails from professors I worked with early on in my career asking for help with their online courses (something I hadn’t done in 10+ years). My name and email got passed around as well, and I would receive some really interesting requests for help for things I had zero involvement or experience in.

    1. cloudy*

      I have seen similar in higher ed as well, especially from faculty members with fairly high profile research. In my department, these kinds of autoresponses are usually super long, detailed triage charts to set expectations around the various requests, like:

      – If you’re my student, I will get back to you as soon as I can
      – If we are on a project together, response time is x amount of days usually
      – If you want to start a new project together, availability full but check in again next semester
      – If you want me to speak to your group/class, response time is x amount of days, I have x slots left
      – If you want a copy of my article, I tend to group these and respond to them in batches every few weeks
      – If you are the media, please follow up to let me know who and what for
      – If it is something else, give me a few weeks or more and if i haven’t responded feel free to follow up again, but I might not be able to respond to every inquiry

      I find them a bit tiring to get in my inbox every single time I send a quick admin message, but I also get why they find them helpful

      1. Ann O'Nemity*

        I see it in higher ed too, and it is bananas from a customer-service lens! In most industries, the idea that you’d tell people, “I’m so overwhelmed I might not reply at all,” would be a nonstarter. I’m not sure why it’s more culturally acceptable in higher education. Lack of accountability? Burn out? I don’t know, but it’s whack.

        2. CrochetFrog*

          In my experience, it’s burn out – higher ed support staff tend to be very under-compensated and the departments are chronically understaffed. When budget cuts happen, the support staff roles are usually the first to be frozen and/or cut. The higher ed hierarchy tends to always put staff on the bottom, no matter what.

          I think having SLAs and trying to be accountable to them are good things, but even with the most efficient processes and automation, the volume is just too much. When I worked as technical support staff in the distance education department at my university (a large public research institution of about 40k students), the number of requests and tickets was just insane. At most, we had 4 people on our team, but most of the time, had 2-3. We handled all the technical support for the learning management system for the entire university, which meant staff and students, as well as doing course development and training, and of course random projects from time to time. Oftentimes, the positions are exempt and so we don’t get overtime – we might get comp time, but even then, there’s no guarantee you can use it (that happened a lot with me – we had to use it within a certain time frame so often it just didn’t get used). There was simply not enough time or people to respond to all the requests, and I was not going to work without pay because my university was unable/unwilling to staff us appropriately. But even at my most burned-out point, I still felt like I had it better than the advisors.

        3. AnotherSarah*

          I think it can be those things but also–they’re saying that they’re available asap for students, for others they give a timeline, and then it’s very likely that up to 80% of their job is supposed to be research, and they’re presumably off doing that. They’re not saying they’re overwhelmed? They’re letting you know when they’re likely to get back to you, telling potential research partners to check back, and asking for more info when it’s likely needed.

        4. Insert Pun Here*

          I think what you’re missing here is that higher ed is not a “customer service” scenario. Students are not customers.

          Keep in mind, also, that many of the folks with these kinds of messages are public-facing in some way and have a publicly visible email address. They are frequently receiving messages from people to whom they have absolutely no professional relationship or obligations.

          And further remember that if they are a professor at a research university, their primary job is to *create new knowledge,* not answer emails.

      2. Lily Rowan*

        Yeah, the one person I’ve gotten the “I might not write back” kind of message from recently is a faculty member who is legit well-known. And even he did write back promptly!

  9. Rogue Slime Mold*

    “I communicate only through the medium of dance.”

    “I communicate only through the medium of scent.”

    “I communicate only through a literal medium, Starflower. If you can’t get a psychic message to Starflower, you are out of luck.”

  10. Wellie*

    “To me it came across as not being able to manage the communications that come with the job.”

    It might help to reflect upon your beliefs surrounding what communications come with her job. I collaborated with somebody who typically had over 1000 unread emails. Nobody would be able manage the level of emails that she received.
    To me, her auto reply is a way of setting expectations and letting you know that you might have to choose a different communication method at times. I think it to be quite courteous to give you that expectation upfront. The alternative is to leave people hanging with no knowledge as to why she is not responding.
    Try to view this as a courtesy rather than lack of ability.

    1. Christine*

      “There was no indication of this auto-response being temporary…and no other person suggested to approach instead.”

      ———————

      …is not a “courtesy.” It’s a perpetual stop sign with no suggested alternatives. How is that courteous?

    2. HonorBox*

      You’re right that it is courteous to give the expectation upfront. But that only goes so far. A truly courteous response would highlight the ways someone can get their email read, or how best to communicate with her. Otherwise, she’s still leaving people hanging with no knowledge as to whether she will respond and provide information that may be needed.

    3. Aaaa*

      No, the alternative is to spell out what type of requests you do handle and how others can contact the right people (or use faq websites, etc)

  11. Ho-Ho-holey hose*

    I had a manager who used this and it is now an automatic red flag for me as well. Yes, she had an unbelievable amount of email, but she also had serious communication issues. It was just a sign that not only could not I get her attention in-person to get direction or support, but I couldn’t count on her to read my emails either. She was an ideas person who under-valued (and under estimated) the work of getting things done, and this was how it showed up.

    1. Mel*

      The one person I saw something like this from was someone who was always asking me for things last minute, not because it was the nature of their role but because they were too disorganized to ask in a timely manner. There is nothing the poisons a working relationship more than someone who contacts you as a matter or urgency, because they forgot to ask you something, busting your butt to get it done for them… only to be greeted by an automatic reply saying “I might not read your email”. I never went above and beyond for that specific person again.

  12. tiredfundraisergal*

    A former colleague of mine went on maternity leave, and left an out-of-office that went something like “I am out until (DATE), I will not be checking email while I am away. If you need an urgent response, please email (COLLEAGUE). If a response can wait until the end of my leave period, please resend the email then.” And when she came back she just…deleted all her emails. To the best of my knowledge, people did what her OOO suggested, and I don’t remember anything being “dropped” or going missing. Truly, a hero of our time.

    1. NotAnotherManager!*

      And this is really all that would be required of the LW’s contact as well – just a more detailed message that provides an alternate contact, anticipated response time, or specifics about what won’t get a response. What LW describes is the equivalent of your former colleague saying, “I’m out of the office for a while and don’t plan to respond to your email.”

    2. Peanut Hamper*

      If you’re on leave, and your out of message indicates this, then this is seriously the way to go. Come back to work and just delete all those emails.

      If it’s important, they’ll resend it. And if it’s not….well, I never saw it and don’t need to worry about it.

  13. sb51*

    Also, in many email clients, you can set a different autoresponse for external users vs internal — perhaps this is just the external-facing one, and it’s meant to be a gentle no to certain classes of external vendors etc. (That doesn’t make it the right approach, necessarily, but a less weird one than just “I might not want to talk to you toodles~~~ to a coworker.)

    1. NotAnotherManager!*

      Really industry-dependent. Where I work, sending this internally would get you a talking-to. If a customer or business partner got this when they were trying to reach our organization, you’d be toast.

  14. Lex*

    Dang! Firm split in the comments on this issue!

    I will say, that I have a similar autoresponder on my email for about half the year — but it contains a lot of “if this, then that” instructions.

    I work at an established non-profit, and the words in my title often make people think I’m the starting place for external interest in collaborating with our org, and as Allison mentioned, most of these should go to our specialized email addresses for certain purposes. We get A LOT of requests from people who want to intern, collab, do a Very Special Version of a program we already execute, students who want to talk about our work, etc. so that autoresponder also includes that if you’re reaching out with requests outside of X,Y,Z, we won’t be able to respond and please reach back out in the off season.

    I also have that responder set up so it doesn’t go to people already in my email address book, because this really is meant to help manage the number of insistent randos who email us daily and frankly, expect us to be available to them in a way that isn’t compatible with getting our work done.

  15. Generic Name*

    This reminds me of coworkers who block out their entire calendar with “meetings” so people who want to meet with them are faced with a wall of unavailable time and can’t schedule a meeting. Sometimes it is necessary to block time out when you are working on a deadline, but I think some people use it as a way to never be bothered.

  16. HonorBox*

    I don’t love this type of blanket auto-reply for one main reason: Email is a pretty standard communication tool in business. If someone sends and email and the only response they get is that their message may not get a response, they’re likely going to wonder if their message is even being read. Many people get lots of email. Figuring out how to manage email communication is part of doing the job, and there are plenty of ways to do that.

    I like the suggestions of being more specific in an auto-reply to set expectations, having a separate email, or giving people a different contact should they need a quicker response. Don’t plant the seed that you may or may not ever respond because people are going to try to find other ways to get what they need, especially if it is something important or timely.

  17. Brenda S. Tarr*

    It’s definitely industry dependent, but in mine (journalism) there’s been disagreement on this. I get hundreds of PR pitches every year, and most of them are bad bad bad. People don’t understand our publication or just send trash no one would want. A few journos I know have taken to the autoresponder that says basically “If you sent a pitch, thanks. I’ll be in touch if I’m interested.” I think that’s totally fine, but others disagree.

    I’ve also come across a lot of this but more in the way the LW said, like it’s a best-selling author who gets a lot of email and it’s kind of understood they won’t respond unless they want to. But I did reach out to someone for an interview once and her autoresponder was the greatest I’ve ever seen. It was along the lines of “I can’t respond to every request, but here are some resources” including names of other experts. She didn’t have to do that, but because of that I got my story.

    1. Elizabeth West*

      There’s nothing wrong with that autoresponder message for pitches at all. When I was planning book marketing, I posted the email on my publisher site with, “All media inquiries will be verified before they receive a response.” It will probably be moved to an autoresponse if I ever get start getting any, lol.

      The resources info is even better. Kudos to her.

  19. Antigone*

    In my corner of academia this time of year is prime for this – a lot of professors stick up an auto reply at the end of spring semester saying some variant of “I’ll probably never read your email, if it’s urgent go email my assistant or try me again in the fall, maybe.” And then peace out for months. Which is to say, depending on culture and workplace, this might be totally normal or very weird.

    1. JelloStapler*

      And in the meantime, staff are expected to do their jobs plus the faculty’s because we have to work 12 months a year. LOL!

  20. The teapots are on fire*

    My spouse had a message like this for more than two years while wearing three hats on an understaffed project. He suggested calling him if anyone needed to reach him right away. He was gettin about 150 messages a day, at least 20 requiring lengthy responses. Delegating just led to having to fix the responses later. His manager was watching World Cup, playing Pokémon Go on four separate cell phones, explaining the budget didn’t allow for more help, and declining to manage or transfer three employees who were not contributing to make room in the budget for people qualified to help. Spouse would occasionally ask other higher level managers to address the situation but was ignored for many months.

    Months after the project launched, a high level manager mentioned the OOO and said that he had interpreted it as a cry for help. He never said why, then, he didn’t actually, like, help.

  21. Coverage Associate*

    I agree with the consensus forming. Some people might need to have a monitored public facing email address but still not respond to every message meant for them. Elected representatives are certainly an example, and high profile appointees. And they are probably not going to want to encourage strangers to contact their staff instead. If you need better or more direct contact information, you will have it.

    Same for other high profile people or people adjacent to them. People are mentioning authors. Probably some professional influencers need to be reachable by email but won’t respond to every message. Also executives of large or well known businesses.

  22. All Het Up about it*

    Just the title makes the person kinda my hero.
    I wish I could have an OOO like this many, many days.

  23. learnedthehardway*

    One kind of feels like the appropriate salutation for this person would be “I hope this email finds you.” full stop.

    That said, at least she is honest. She might or might not get back to you.

  24. NobodyHasTimeForThis*

    I dislike when I get these, i have a coworker who has had this autoresponse for well over a year now. Although in her case she really will not answer for weeks.

    On the other hand, we experience a lot in our office that everyone considers everything an emergency. Regardless of how emergent it is. They will contact everyone in our office if we put any kind of ooo on, regardless of it is one day or unlimited or if we leave extensive IF/then directions.

    No Sheila, that problem that affects absolutely nothing for 10 months does not need to be escalated 3 levels just because I am out for 1 day. Because all that happened is it was forwarded back to me 3 times.

    I would stop doing ooo entirely for short absences and I think everything would run smoother, but it is policy. And something they have used to fire someone they wanted a reason to get rid of.

  25. Katie*

    I work at a university and we have a couple of professors who do this. I hate it- it might be true, but it comes off as really rude and kind of arrogant.

Comments are closed.