where are you now?

One of my favorite things about Ask a Manager is hearing back from readers whose questions I answered about how their situations turned out. So if you’ve had your question answered here in the past, please email me an update and let us know how your situation turned out. Leave no juicy detail out!

And if there’s anyone you especially want to hear an update from, mention it here and I’ll reach out to those people directly.

Don’t post them here though — I’m going to run all these updates while I’m away on my honeymoon next month, so prepare for a delightful week or two of updates soon! Meanwhile, if you’ve missed past updates, you can find them in the Updates category here.

{ 139 comments… read them below }

        1. Elizabeth West*

          Oh you’ll adore it. My aunt lives in London and had a cottage there; my mom, her sister, went to visit her at the cottage and she LOVED it. She said it was one of the most lovely places she had ever been. :D

        2. ChristineSW*

          Ireland is beautifully green! The weather can be a little cool, but you’ll have a wonderful time! When will you be away?

        3. Grace*

          I’m pretty confident when I say you’ll have a great time, especially in Dublin!

          Not that I’m biased or anything…

        4. EE*

          Ooh, where? City life or breathtaking beauty in Connemara or the Ring of Kerry?

          Fingers crossed the weather will be OK for you.

          1. Ask a Manager* Post author

            We’re going to Dublin, Kinsale, Killarney, and Galway. Definitely including the Ring of Kerry, the Cliffs, and Burren. Would love any other recommendations (or advice about those)!

            1. Waerloga*

              Temple bar district in Dublin… The pubs are neat, but the music played all over is great!

              Have fun exploring and get off the beaten track when you can. Just remember they drive on the opposite side than you’re use to.

            2. Grace*

              Temple Bar can be fun in small doses, but it’s generally considered to be very touristy and somewhat overpriced.

              Just a short walk away is the South William Street/South George Street area – lots of really great bars, pubs and restaurants. A lot more like the “real” Dublin ;-)

            3. Andrew*

              Drive around the Beara Peninsula in the southwest. Less known than the Dingle Peninsula, but every bit as spectacular.

              1. EE*

                From personal experience it’s shockingly easy to get lost on the Burren. When all you can see is limestone slabs interspersed with 75% of Europe’s biodiversity and a horizon, it’s hard to pinpoint what direction is back to reality.

                If you’re in Dublin on a Sunday afternoon, go to the Brazen Head near Christchurch Cathedral for a hot whiskey with brown sugar over some trad music. More modern-style trad is to be heard in Galway city, which is always worth a go!

                Temple Bar is full of hen parties from the UK who took a cheap flight across the Irish Sea to vomit on faraway cobblestones and pick up willing local men. Avoid at night, avoid. It’s not dangerous by any means but it’s not fun. Restaurants I recommend in the city centre are Talbot 101 off O’Connell St and the Winding Stair (above a bookshop!) on the Quays and MOST OF ALL the Trocadero near Trinity College. I never get tired of the Troc and never will. Manages to be classy and affordable despite the signed photos of celebs that cover the walls.

            4. btdubbs*

              Yay! I did my study abroad in Galway and it was delightful. If you’re in Galway on the weekend you should definitely check out the market on Church lane by St. Nicholas’ Church, it should be open both Saturday and Sunday afternoons. There was a to-die-for crepes stand that we always frequented. If you really want to get into the potato-eating spirit there’s a restaurant called Spud House that offers a menu of potatoes topped pretty much every way you could ever imagine. (Apparently all my fond memories of Ireland revolve around food!) Galway is a college town so there are tons of pubs around to check out, should be pretty easy to find a great one with live music. And to work all that off, you can take a day trip out to the Aran Islands and rent bicycles to explore the island. Have a fantastic time!

  1. J.Baker*

    The only thing I want to say is congratulations on your upcoming wedding. We hope you have a long and happy marriage.
    Enjoy the honeymoon!!

  2. Anonny*

    Have a great time on your honeymoon! I really want to hear an update from the person who was afraid to fire an employee due to her violent family.

  3. Jennifer O*

    I’m so happy for you and your betrothed. I wish you such a wonderful life together.

    I also love (though am not surprised) that you’re the antithesis of bridezilla: thanks for thinking of us while you’re on your honeymoon!

    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      Well, to be fair, I’m going to set everything up to auto-publish before I go. So hopefully I won’t be thinking about the site while I’m away!

      But I will take the anti-bridezilla label anyway.

      1. CarolineLL*

        Alison, I bet many of your loyal readers would love a detailed post about how you applied your managing know-how to wedding planning. I’m sure many of your business skills came into play and I for one would love to read about that!

        I know this isn’t a blog about your personal life, but I’m sure you could work up a post that would fit the theme here. In the comments, under the business-skills-applied-to-wedding-planning post, you could ask your readers how they’ve applied their work skills into other areas of their lives. That would be interesting, too!

        Hope you’ll consider a post like this!

        1. Ask a Manager* Post author

          Ha, actually I am having the tiniest wedding possible and have intentionally ensured that there are as few moving pieces to juggle as possible (having watched my sister years ago have a meltdown over folding chairs before her own wedding). There has been very little management involved, thank god.

  4. Alcoholic Boss OP*

    Hi, I had written in just a week ago about my friend who had the boss who was always drinking and driving/being drunk at work.

    So basically he tried to get him caught a few times by reporting him, but it never actually worked. How they never caught him, I’ll never know.

    Recently, he got a new director (someone above the boss who was drinking), and during their one on one get together he expressed concern over this. The director wasn’t really too concerned, but said he had noticed as well. So after that meeting it improved a lot, but recently, it’s been happening again.

    Long story short my friend is looking for another job (not solely because of this, but it does play a factor). It’s pretty sad when the only person who is actually concerned about this kind of behavior is the most junior employee.

      1. Former LEO*

        Unless police catch them in the act there really isn’t much they are going to do.

        Even reporting them as a suspected drunk driver is not going to get an officer out there to watch them. They can catch plenty of drunks just patrolling on a Friday night.

        I know people want to “do something” but realistically there isn’t much good reporting it to law enforcement.

        1. OP*

          We live in one of the biggest cities in North America, so I’m not sure if they just don’t have the resources/can’t catch them in the act, but so far they’ve gotten away with it.

  5. Ellie the EA*

    I wanted to continue the congratulations. I got married in April and it is great. (2nd time’s the charm ;-) I wish you all the happiness.

  6. ChristineSW*

    Congrats again Alison!! We’ll miss seeing you chiming in in the comments section, but you deserve the time way. Soooo happy for you!!

    I know this was only posted yesterday, but I’ll be curious how things turn out for the person whose coworker has a mental disability.

  7. Jillyan*


    I was -2 on the list. My job was, to put it plainly, draining me. I did not like coming into work at all and felt stuck. My anxiety levels were through the roof. While I didn’t find your answer to my question helpful at the time, I read your blog daily (still do sometimes) and was persistent. I believed in myself and thought the company was great and worth sticking around for. I ended up moving to a different campus with a promotion 3.5 months after I wrote in.

    I will never forget the feeling of telling my bullying boss that I was giving in my two weeks notice and that I was being promoted to a different department (at a higher pay rate and title than him, which I did not wish to share but Im sure he found out.) The next two weeks he was like a zombie without any power over me and unable to break through my feeling of complete elation. I was practically skipping to work! Looking back, I felt quiet despair but could not admit it to myself. This boss questioned my skills, my intelligence, and my worth as a person. it was bad.

    But it was such a blessing having this website as a sort of lifeline, to know that there were other people like me who felt stuck in their jobs but that there was a way to get out and be HAPPY at work. And even though this job is tough I sometimes find myself smiling and feeling at ease. I wish everyone could feel this way at work! I hope you know how much your advice, blunt and to the point but always understanding, really helps people who just want to go to work, do their job well, and be acknowledged in some way. We spend most of the hours of the day working and shouldn’t we look forward to it, rather than feel dread? Reading your blog, I laughed at some of the crazy stories and saw a lot of myself and my own mistakes. I wish I had known about your blog in the beginning of my career.


    1. Not So NewReader*

      Way to go, Jillan!
      While it is true that we don’t know the particulars of a person’s setting, it is awesome to see so many people chime in with concern/advice/stories.
      Today became your turn- I bet a couple people are inspired to do something about their version of “hell” after reading your success.

  8. EA*

    Congratulations on the wedding.

    As far as updates, I’d love to see an update from the boss who’s employee was putting magical curses on their co-workers.

  9. NylaW*

    Congratulations! Have a wonderful time on your honeymoon!

    I’d like an update from the person who had the boss that was making everyone give feedback to each other while standing in a line. That was bananas.

  10. Anonymous*

    My question was about how to respond to a university job that hadn’t e-mailed or interviewed me but had called my references. I sent them a quick and polite e-mail saying that I knew they’d been in contact with one of my references and wanted to let them know the other would be out of town for a few weeks, offering an alternative. They never responded and, when I checked out of curiosity on their staff roster page last week, it seems likely that they hired one of their own graduates. Alas, the search continues.

    Thanks for all your great advice and have the happiest of honeymoons!

  11. Jen*

    Have a great honeymoon!

    I want to hear from the person who was facing being stranded out of town unless they worked past their notice time.

  12. Poster formally known as Jane Doe*


    First I want to tell you to have an awesome wedding and honeymoon! Yay you!

    As for an update, I posted in the open thread about taking a new job offer that I was recruited for, and feeling guilty as I had just been promoted at my current job, which has an extremely toxic environment. I’ve officially decided to take the new job. I am on vacation next week, and then will very happily put in my two weeks notice, which I will do prefessionally instead of saying all the things I really want to say!

    Thanks to AAM readers for all of their help!

  13. LeeD*

    Congrats on the wedding and honeymoon!

    I would love to hear an update from the poster who was planning to leave her parent’s dysfunctional business. https://www.askamanager.org/2013/08/is-it-okay-to-leave-my-parents-dysfunctional-business-and-never-look-back.html

    Also, was there ever an update from the person whose coworker was taking pictures of her during meetings? (https://www.askamanager.org/2013/05/my-coworker-is-taking-cell-phone-photos-of-us-during-staff-meetings.html)

  14. Anon*

    Have a happy honeymoon!

    I wrote in here: https://www.askamanager.org/2012/10/my-coworkers-questions-are-getting-out-of-hand.html (and actually several more times, but this was the least boring question). I tried my best to follow AAM’s advice, and it did help, but what helped the most was working hard enough to get promoted to a new position on a new team and then going on maternity leave. Either she found someone else to rely on or she figured it all out, but she’s not asking me for help anymore.

    So there you go – if you’re having coworker problems, just have a baby and leave work for a few months, and it’ll all be resolved when you get back!

    Perhaps it’s a good thing I’m not running this blog.

  15. LizNYC*


    I’d love to heard about the person who was nervous to fire her incompetent underling for fear her family (sons? who had been in jail?) would retaliate.

  16. CathVWXYNot?*

    Have a fantastic time on your honeymoon!

    I’d like to second the calls for updates on the magical curse and the lining up to give and receive public feedback, and I’d also like to nominate the post where the boss wanted to act as a life coach for his employees

  17. ChristineSW*

    I already posted, but since others are giving updates in the comments, I’ll join the fun.

    I’m the one who asked in a recent Open Thread about pursuing a PhD. I had a meeting with the Program Director yesterday, who told me a bit about the program and what I need in the application. Long story short, I’m starting to think that it might be wise for me to wait and try and get some more experience. She said the program is focused on research; I have a little bit of research experience, but it’s primarily in finding other literature (as you might do in school or to write a policy brief). So my goal now is to reach out to other PhD students and other people in my field to get more information and advice, and just kick major butt as my volunteer work resumes after the summer hiatus.

  18. MF*

    I’m posting an update here, since my question was a pretty basic one in Alison’s short answer daily posts –
    https://www.askamanager.org/2013/04/terse-answer-tuesday-7-short-answers-to-7-short-questions-7.html – I was #3 in this post, about leaving a temp job earlier than planned.

    The day that Alison answered my questions, I accepted an offer from the organization that wanted to hire me permanently, and the next day, I gave my temp agency and temp placement two weeks notice. To my surprise, it was more than ok – my supervisors at my temp placement were really excited for me (one of them told me “we knew someone would hire you soon – we didn’t think we’d even have you for this long”, which I really appreciated), and the people at the temp agency were really appreciative of the full two weeks notice. (In hindsight, I imagine they get a lot of people bailing with less than 2 weeks notice/being unreliable and flaky, so the full two weeks notice was perhaps unusual).

    I started my new job the end of April, and I’m loving it so far! I’m a pretty recent college grad, and it’s my first permanent position (i’ve worked on a couple of political campaigns, with jobs that of course end once the election happens), and it’s really more than I could have asked for in a first job!

    So thanks for your advice, Alison, and giving me the extra encouragement to do what I needed to!

  19. Lisa*

    I went to Ireland (and Scotland) for my honeymoon — LOVED it. It’ll be a bit blustery, but the weather should be gorgeous.

  20. Anonymous*

    Wait, doesn’t Allison want people to email their updates to her, not post them here? I think here we’re just supposed to say which letter writers we’d like to hear from, not post the updates to our own questions.

    We don’t want to spoil the surprises!!

      1. WFBP*

        Maybe bold and underline that part of your post, Alison? If you don’t read the whole thing, you won’t see it. At a glance, all I saw at first was the bolded sentence of ‘send in your update’.

        Just a thought, though I’m diggin the little sneak peaks we’re getting. I love these.

      2. Dana*

        You’re welcome! I’m trying to think of the posts I would like answers to – I really should start a list… lol.

        Too bad readers can’t ‘favourite’ the posts like you do on Pinterest or Etsy – although then people would have to have an account on your server, so that’d probably be a nightmare to work out!

  21. Tina*

    I can pretty much guess that the poster in question didn’t like Alison’s feedback or the overwhelming consensus in the comments, but I would so love to hear feedback/update from the guy who put that awful $150 bumper sticker on his truck and got in trouble at work for it!

      1. LJL*

        yes, definitely this one; I just hope the sender has calmed down enough by this point to be willing to give an update.

    1. louise*

      I manage a little shop that cuts vinyl for car window stickers…for something of the size he described, we’d have charged <$30. I can't help but wonder if the person who took his order and set the price thought "Hmm, this jerk has a terrible idea. Maybe I can help him out by pricing it so ridiculously high that no reasonable person would agree to it." But of course, he wasn't reasonable so it was only fair he got hosed. :)

  22. WFBP*

    What happened to that poor soul whose stalker ex was trying to get into the same company? I sincerely hoped that one worked out well for her.

  23. Ruffingit*

    I want to hear about the woman who was working at her boyfriend’s mother’s convenience store.

    Also, the woman whose mother kept telling her that she wouldn’t get the jobs she applied for.

  24. Chocolate Teapot*

    I think most of the updates are covered on this post, although the one about the pushy company chaplain might be interesting. However I got the impression that there may not be anything additional to update there.

  25. lurker*

    As you can see my my posting on a lot of these comments, there are many updates I would love to hear. I’d actually love to know how they ALL are doing.

    But – since I know that is not realistic – besides the magical curses, co-worker taking photos of the OP, and lining up for feedback, I’d also like to hear back about the situation where the manager was worried about firing the lousy employee with the scary family.

  26. Kara*

    I’d love to have updates about these:

    Invoice for Interview:

    Violent Family:

    Night Shift, Creepy Coworker:

    Not Really Working from Home:


  27. a bit unclear*

    Congrats on the honeymoon!!! :)

    Also I’m a bit confused, can we go ahead and post our own updates, or only the questions ppl are asking about get to share their updates?

  28. junipergreen*

    Happy wedding and honeymoon! Wish you both a safe and wonderful journey!

    And thanks for the posting plan whilst you’re away… the updates are always so fascinating!

  29. Rana*

    Congrats on the upcoming wedding and honeymoon! May one tiny thing go wrong in each, so that you have a funny memory and a place to direct your stress, and may everything else go wonderfully!

    (I know, it’s a weird wish – but I was so, so worried about something going wrong at my own wedding that it was a relief when the one minor burp happened.)

  30. OP*

    I’m interested in some of the less juicy ones, like if the guy that showed up late the first day worked out, or if the receptionist that was doing business errands ever got reimbursed.

    Congrats, Alison, and have a great time!! Thanks for keeping us entertained while you’re away.

  31. Tex*

    This might be playing with fire but I *really* want to know what happened to the letter writer who felt belittled in an interview and then defended him/herself here and got a time out from Allison. I think the thread was at 600+ posts by the end. I would like to see what kind of perspective they have about interviewing/that particular interview/job hunting in general now that he/she has some time and distance.

    Hopefully it has a good ending with a new job (and maybe that OP is a regular reader of this blog now!)

    Also, congratulations, Allison!

  32. Beth Anne*

    I want to hear from the person who’s boss’s girlfriend was always hanging out in his office. The one where your niece’s also answered the questions.

    And congrats on your wedding!

  33. Marie*

    In addition to those that have already been mentioned, I would love to hear updates on:

    The employee whose boss wanted to have a “drunken sleepover”;
    The local govt employee whose coworker was burping, eating, and watching You Tube videos all day.

  34. Andrea*

    Congratulations, Ireland is beautiful and I’m sure you’ll love it. If you get a chance, go to Trinity College Library in Dublin and look at the Book of Kells in person. It’s amazing.
    I’d love to hear an update on the pushy company chaplain, the bedbugs in the office (was that last year?), and the firing of the lady with the scary family.

  35. LB*

    Hello All! I’m the one who asked about how to handle my burping, slurping, video watching, hug-wanting coworker. I just sent an update through email.
    I have to say, some of these other workplace horrors that people have to deal with..like drunk bosses, public declaration of feedback, pervy sleepovers…makes me think my situation is quite manageable. I’m sending strength to you, my brothers and sisters.

  36. Rachel*

    Alison, I was married in July and also went to Ireland for my honeymoon in August. I would recommend the usual touristy things in Dublin: Guinness Museum, Trinity College, St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Liffey river cruise. Also buy a pass for the tourist bus, it makes a 1 1/2 hour circuit and is good for sore feet and/or rain. The bus pass is good for two days. For food in Dublin, grocery stores are a good way to save money for one meal a day, or check out farmer’s markets in your guidebook. For pubs, the second floor of the Palace Bar in Temple Bar was surprisingly uncrowded and had musicians when we visited. PS Bring one umbrella per person!

  37. Vet Tech Gal*

    I love the “your employer sucks and isn’t going to change” post from last year. I would love to have a update from the OP’s.

  38. Schuyler Pierson*

    I do tend to love updates on some of the “juicy” ones. Here are a few I’d love to hear an update on eventually (way from the beginning of the year; I didn’t even get past January).

    The manager whose employee was making sexually suggestive comments to her: https://www.askamanager.org/2013/01/employee-is-making-sexually-suggestive-remarks-to-his-boss.html

    The student employee who was asking women for their number for an “emergency contact” database: https://www.askamanager.org/2013/01/coworker-is-collecting-womens-phone-numbers-under-false-pretenses.html (I thank my lucky stars that none of the student staff I’ve hired over the past few years have done this)

    The co-worker who watches porn in their shared office: https://www.askamanager.org/2013/01/my-coworker-watches-porn-in-our-shared-office.html

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