where are you now? (a call for updates)

At the end of each year, I publish a slew of “where are they now” updates from people whose questions I answered here in the past. In past years we’ve had several hundred each December and it’s been magnificent.

If you’ve had your question answered here in the past, please email me an update and let us know how your situation turned out. Did you take the advice? Did you not take the advice? What happened? How’s your situation now?  (Don’t post your updates here though; email them to me.)

Note: Your update doesn’t have to be positive or big to be worth submitting. We want to hear them all, even if you don’t think yours is that interesting.

And if there’s anyone you especially want to hear an update from, mention it here and I’ll reach out to those people directly.

Posted in Uncategorized

{ 312 comments… read them below }

    1. Not Today, Satan*

      Yes! The other business partners were out of line to argue against a successful business process.

  1. Something Like Jon*

    I always love the updates! Even if there is not anything crazy or dramatic, it’s just kinda nice to have some “closure” about what people write in about.

  2. Grey*

    “my boss is angry that I couldn’t work while I was sick with Covid”

    I asked why he was acting like this and again stated that I was sick, he called me to personally tell me I was “f^&%ing him over.”

    1. Elle*

      I’d like to hear from people who wrote in with covid related work issues. What happened as a result of inaction, misinformation or stubbornness?

    2. randomNameGenerator*

      This has nothing to do with anything but when I resigned from my previous job because I was refused a promotion even though I was already doing all the work of the promotion my boss also told me I was “f^&%ing her over.”

  3. Elle*

    I’d like an update about the mysterious boss disappearing from earlier this week. Hopefully enough time has passed and we have some answers.

    1. Something Like Jon*

      I second that. That was so odd and interesting. My college roommate was like that (he would just disappear, sometimes for a day or so), but that’s pretty different than your boss stranding you at a job site.

    2. lyonite*

      Yes! Obviously I’d like to know where he’s going, but just hearing what the OP tried and how it turned out would be good too.

  4. Expelliarmus*

    I’d like updates on the OP whose office Secret Santa gave them an inappropriate gift (from January 2022) and the OP whose coworkers told her boss that she talks about her baby too much (also from January 2022)

  5. Really*

    I would like an update on the person whose boss seems to be retaliating because the person wouldn’t work for his wife.

    1. Where’s the Orchestra?*

      Seconded. Hoping they got some resolution….or at least the starts of a fix going.

  6. Wordnerd*

    We all just revisited the one where the team kept running off the replacements for the employee who had died tragically, and I don’t think there was ever an update for that one.

    1. Employee of the Bearimy*

      Coming in to say the same thing – I would be really interested in an update from that letter-writer.

    2. Warrior Princess Xena*

      I vaguely recall something but I don’t remember if it was speculation or OP clarifying things in the comments of the original letter.

      1. Observer*

        The OP did clarify some things in the letter. But they left more unanswered questions.

        I REALLY want an update because I suspect that what we saw was the tip of an iceberg of dysfunctionality.

      2. Sasha*

        I could have sworn there was an update and they basically fired the whole dept and started afresh.

        Or maybe that was a different LW. There surely can’t have been two like that?

    3. Dragon*

      Yes, especially since this one didn’t lend itself to regular solutions. The job couldn’t be filled by just anyone, nor could the duties be split up among other people.

  7. Biff*

    I want an update from letter writer whose cousin was pretending to be disadvantaged. And pretended she didn’t recognize her own family member.

  8. Lcsa99*

    I’d love to get a further update from the letter writer who received the letter of intent. Is this crazy lecturer finally gone?

    1. Where’s the Orchestra?*

      Oh yes – so much want to hear what happened next with Mr Intent to Flounce. I have a suspicion that he didn’t go quietly into the good night.

    2. Firefighter (Metaphorical)*

      Oh yes. So much of that letter resonated for me (also in academia), I’m desperate for more stories!

  9. Anon for this*

    The letter writer whose coworker left her baby in her car outside while she worked her shift. I hope all involved in that letter are ok.

    1. Observer*

      Oh, yes! I hope also that someone in authority told of the coworkers who didn’t tell Mom to bring the baby in.

    2. All Het Up About It*

      Given recent news articles around similar situations I’m so afraid that an update to this one could be tragic.

    1. Juicebox Hero*

      The person’s boss did write in with an update on that one. Apparently the person did agree to use a temporary name to keep things moving along at work, and the company’s IT department figured out how to kerjigger the email addresses so the person not using a first and last name wouldn’t present a problem.

      I’ll try to find it.

      1. Hlao-roo*

        The update has the title “update: employee doesn’t want to use a name for themselves” and was posted April 28, 2022.

  10. You Can Be Any Mouse*

    The admin/exec assistant with the obsessive/dangerous/abusive boss. It read more like an abusive relationship and I hope she got out.

    1. Anita Brayke*

      The stalker boss? I would definitely love an update there and I hope the letter writer is ok.

      1. You Can Be Any Mouse*

        Yeah, the one where another employee was fired and all the commenters agreed that the boss was probably lying about why and it was a move borne from jealousy over their friendship and/or a move intended to isolate the OP. I think the fired colleague was even HR!

          1. ferrina*

            Yeah, I want a follow-up on this too. I doubt boss let her go without him causing a scene, and I’m hoping that she’s been able to get a good support system around her.

    2. Observer*

      I think there was an update on that, if you are talking about the one whose marriage was suffering.

      1. Anne Shirley*

        Yes I always felt sad that her marriage ended up suffering because of that. I hope that everything turned out to be okay for LW (regardless of whether she’s still married or not).

  11. ILoveCoffee*

    the person who’s office was going to get a turtle and pass it around the offices and have people take it home over the weekends

    the person whose employer was having them track insurance use

  12. AY*

    The LW who started a rumor that a coworker got a promotion because she slept her way there. That LW got absolutely pilloried in the comments, and I wonder if they ended up doing anything or not.

    And, as always, the White Whale: the Leap Day Boss.

    1. Lance*

      Leap Year Birthday boss already updated to say they were following the policy and the employee wasn’t losing anything (well, no actually on both); I doubt we’d get anything more there.

      1. Librarian of SHIELD*

        The Leap Day boss update was essentially “why don’t you all understand how right I am,” so I’m not expecting more introspection from that person. It would be great to hear, I would love it, but I’m not expecting it.

        1. Pants*

          Yeah, Leap Day Boss definitely lived on their own planet. I still don’t understand the mental gymnastics of that one.

          1. Weary cigarette drag*

            “I am a good person who is Right. It would be very, very upsetting for me to consider that I might be Wrong or that I did not behave as a good person did. Therefore, any external facts or arguments that conflict with my self-image are incorrect, and must be firmly rejected by any means necessary.”

            Leap Day Boss is almost certainly not aware that this is her thought process, but that is generally how people like her go through life.

            1. BatManDan*

              Most people suffer from the delusion you just described, to varying degrees. Once you know how that socio-psychological mechanism works, you can spot it in action over and over.

          2. Fluffy Fish*

            I think I do because I had a boss like that. It’s about power.

            So we had a perfectly good employee resign 1 day shy of a full 2 weeks. Technically, the personnel rules say 2 weeks are required, but in reality HR fully supports discretion on it.

            He took her resignation as a threat to his power – so he used the rules to punish her and show how much power he had. Docked her a days leave and marked her ineligible for rehire because welp those are the rules.

            In short – he’s a glassbowl and so is Leap Day Boss.

      2. AY*

        Yeah, I remember the update (which was simply astonishing), I just hope every year that he’s come to his senses at last!

    2. Just Another Zebra*

      I forgot about rumor LW. Yes, I’d love an update to that one. I really hope she made things right.

    3. Warrior Princess Xena*

      Someday I’d love to hear from the Leap Day Employee and get her side of the story. Likely? No. Amazing? Yes.

      1. NotAnotherManager!*

        This is the update I want! I don’t need to hear from the Leap Year Boss again – their original update was even more bonkers and full of jackassery than their original letter, if that was even possible. I just want to know Leap Year Employee has landed somewhere with reasonable people who treat them fairly and are not loons.

  13. Memarise*

    The one where the team was given turtles that they had to care for and take home over weekends.

    1. Where’s the Orchestra?*

      Yes – even if it’s just a really short one letting us know what happened to the turtles. Hopefully no animals were seriously harmed in the course of boss’ stupidity.

  14. Memarise*

    The one where the team was given turtles that they had to care for and take home over weekends.

  15. Mary*

    my condescending coworker tries to take over my work and is a disruptive know-it-all (there was an update, but I’m curious if there is anything new!)

    when should I let my new boss fail?

    should we hire a candidate who talked non-stop?

    new coworker is a rude know-it-all

    my coworker keeps trying to undermine me

    1. ferrina*

      I’m curious about the last two on this list. Did they ever get called out on their behavior? Did they simmer down, or just keep at it? (I’m hoping the Know-It-All got fired…that dude sounded awful!)

  16. Just Another Zebra*

    I was just thinking about this! In no particular order…

    The receptionist who left her baby in the car

    The person who wrote in about her struggles getting a writing job

    The agrotourism business

    The manager her needed her employee to work more hours, but the employee would lose benefits if she did

    The letter writer who was shocked her employee would stand up for herself about not being paid

    And, as always, the manager who wanted to give his employee advise after he wouldn’t let her go to graduation, and she quit.

      1. Resident Catholicville, USA*

        I need to know about Halloweentown. I got all excited yesterday when Halloween popped up but then it wasn’t that one and I was disappointed. :(

        1. NoIWontFixYourComputer*

          I think Halloweentohttps://www.askamanager.org/2022/10/where-are-you-now-a-call-for-updates-11.html/feedwn was one of the related links on that story.

        2. Firefighter (Metaphorical)*

          Thank goodness I am not the only shallow person hanging out for a Hallowe’entown update! Yes please!!!

      2. Golden*

        Yes I want that one too! Did the OP ever clarify if the complaints against the owners came from the OP or elsewhere?

  17. Emm*

    Okay, so the letter from the OP working two full-time jobs came in last year, and we already got an update not that long ago, but I would selfishly love another one.

  18. Charley*

    I’d love an update from the OP whose grandboss was trying to jump the queue for a Covid vaccine. He’d asked the OP’s manager (if I remember correctly) to get him a jab and this manager was trying to make it the OP’s problem. I know vaccine access has been moot for well over a year now, but it would still be interesting to hear how that panned out.

    1. Hlao-roo*

      There was an update for that one! The title is “updates: my boss wants me to help him jump the line for the Covid vaccine, and more” and it was posted June 18, 2021.

    1. Ms. Norbury*

      OMG, yes. It’s likely to be sad, but I hope at least the horrible comments stopped and LW’s sister had one fewer stressor to deal with.

  19. Irish Teacher*

    I’d like to hear from the person who owns the game shop and had a manager who was running things badly but was so popular with the gamers, she didn’t want to fire him.

    Oh and the person who was biased against women who went to women’s colleges. Just to know if she’s rethought that.

    1. Jack Straw from Wichita*

      Yes to both of these!

      The LW for the women’s colleges was pretty active in the comments, if I’m remembering correctly, but I’d be interested to hear from them again.

    1. Calamity Janine*

      i desperately want an update on this one, but i admit, if i could simply wish upon a genie to make the stars align just so…

      i don’t want an update from the LW. i want her son to write in, because i am 99.9999% sure “my son says he’s going to change his name when he turns 18 just to stop sharing a last name with his mom who hates halloween!” is an utter failure of understanding the real problems that the kid has been telling her for at least five years and counting.

      or an update from one of the people running the business. quite frankly, if i could connect those dots, i think they would all appreciate a heads-up of the utter ableism-driven contempt their coworker has for them. though given that LW’s attitude… they probably already know all too well, and cheered to see the back of her.

  20. Deanna*

    I’d love to know what happened to the guy whose boss tried to get him and his co-workers to make a trucker sex tape.

    1. That One Person*

      I feel like I visit this site daily during the week, and then these update call outs remind me I miss some interesting days O_O

  21. Juicebox Hero*

    The person who managed a resort, who wrote in about how to handle potential complaints about a genderfluid resident using the women’s facilities (the person used whichever facilities worked for them on a particular day and the staff were worried that seasonal guests would raise a stink over it). I’m curious about what they ended up doing and how it worked.

  22. Talvi*

    Still hoping we’ll get an update about the woman who framed her co-worker for fraud to escape an abusive partner (from 2017, I believe).

    1. Just Courtney*

      Oh, I just read this one for the first time fairly recently. That was… interesting. An update would be fab.

      1. Not Alison*

        I’ve mentioned every year that an update on this letter would be greatly appreciated but so far no update has been forthcoming. Thinking about the situation from this letter for the poor woman who was framed makes me sad.

  23. Hlao-roo*

    These two letters have been on my mind recently:

    “my coworkers have a crush on my boss … and are taking it out on me” from March 18, 2020

    “my employee sent a memo to management about ghosts in the building” from February 13, 2018

    1. Hlao-roo*

      Also this one: “our highly-paid, overworked junior staff keep leaving just as we get them fully trained” from October 26, 2021

    2. Sharp-dressed Boston Terrier*

      Seconded on “The Keeper of the Zipper”. I re-read that one yesterday and was sorely disappointed we haven’t heard back on that one yet.

    3. Not Your Admin Ass(t)*

      “my employee sent a memo to management about ghosts in the building” from February 13, 2018

      I am SO disappointed that February 13, 2018 was a Tuesday and not Friday!

  24. Nicki Name*

    The stolen laptop on the business trip: https://www.askamanager.org/2022/08/a-stolen-work-laptop-employee-wants-me-to-fire-her-coworker-and-more.html

    The employee who didn’t want to use any name at all: https://www.askamanager.org/2022/04/update-employee-doesnt-want-to-use-a-name-for-themselves.html

    The extremely disorganized boss: https://www.askamanager.org/2022/02/my-lovely-but-bumbling-boss-is-driving-me-crazy.html

    (Also seconding calls for an update on the vanishing boss from earlier this week.)

    1. triss merigold*

      This one and the stolen caboose heirloom one are the letters for which I’m most desperate for an update.

    1. ferrina*

      I’d really like an update on this too. I’m hoping her boss heard her and is doing better about not assuming what she’d like (and that she’s happily back to work)

    2. Where’s the Orchestra?*

      Agreed. It felt to me like the manager and coworkers hearts were in the right place, but they forgot the critical “ask what OP needs” step in the process.

  25. Sabina*

    I can’t think of a specific letter, more of a theme. That theme being employers who want to have off-site team building events or “retreats” that are, at best, time wasting annoyances and ,at worse , dangerous or excluding of employees who can’t camp, ride horses, zip line, etc. Maybe some other readers can think of specific letters. I always wonder if the OP successfully pushed back, declined to go, went but refused to do the fire walking, or whatever.

    1. Hlao-roo*

      I found some team-building letters it would be cool to get updates on:




      And one team-building letter that already has an update:



  26. Researchalator Lady*

    Oooh! The one where “ my employee lies to me about things he just said 30 seconds ago” and the one about the employee who was so fixated on issues outside of his wheelhouse that he was ineffective at his actual job tasks!

  27. The Prettiest Curse*

    The person who volunteered at an organisation with a gym that served low-income clients with disabilities and just had so, so many management issues including wage theft. I’ll be astonished if nobody picked up a staph infection in that place because it sounded like their cleaning was non-existent.

    1. ferrina*

      I’d forgotten about that one, but now I’m curious too! Was OP able to fly under the radar until they moved out?

  28. Spearmint*

    There’s a bunch that I’m curious to hear updates on:

    “I was promised summer hours — but it’s frowned upon to use them”

    “Should I try to change my work habits and make waste less time during the day?”

    “I can’t escape Halloween Town”

    “My ambitious, driven self is gone — and I don’t feel like working anymore”

    “My coworkers keep dropping balls — is some of this normal in the workplace?”

    “I’m forgetful and disorganized — and I’m a project manager” (this one already had an update but I’m curious where the LW is now, as that update was only a few months after the letter)

    1. Jack Straw from Wichita*

      Oooo, yes to the project manager one! The LW was active in the comments and it seemed they were leaning toward different work. I’m curious to see how they’ve bene doing.

  29. Grumpy Chipmunk*

    I’d love an update from the Admin who was being harassed for being “the keeper of his zipper” by a couple of the managers who had crushes on the VP of HR.

    1. Where’s the Orchestra?*

      Yeah – that one was just bonkers……hopefully the good manager told those two middle schoolers to “Knock It Off.”

    1. Jack Straw from Wichita*

      Right? I’ve been bookmarking posts all year waiting for this day, but there are so many that I’m being reminded of and going back to re-read from the comments.

  30. Fives*

    I would love to see updates from the following:
    * The pregnant coworker who keeps saying awful things about LW’s terminally ill sister (https://www.askamanager.org/2022/08/pregnant-coworker-keeps-saying-awful-things-to-my-terminally-ill-sister.html)
    * The LW who’s biased against people who went to women’s colleges (https://www.askamanager.org/2022/10/im-biased-against-people-who-went-to-womens-colleges.html)
    * The coworker’s child who kept making bigoted remarks to LW (https://www.askamanager.org/2022/09/a-coworkers-child-keeps-saying-insulting-and-bigoted-things-to-me.html)

    And I remember what the comments were like, but I would still love to read an update about Henry and Beth if you feel up to publishing it Alison (https://www.askamanager.org/2017/02/im-still-getting-calls-from-clients-after-being-let-go-my-coworker-is-interfering-in-my-work-and-more.html)

    1. KAZ2Y5*

      The letter about Henry and Beth still lives rent-free in my head and I would also love to read an update.

    2. Not Your Admin Ass(t)*

      Usually I look forward to reading the discussion, but the horrific bigoted comments on that Henry and Beth letter actually made me glad that Alison shut down further comments that time (and her compassionate reason she posted stating why was spot-on). I’ve always wondered how that work situation shook out.

  31. migrating coconuts*

    Looking for update on the one who had a teacher who submitted forged vaccination paperwork for their kid. And also an update on the EA who had 2 female managers trying to have multiple meetings with her good looking boss, and then when being shut down, called her the Keeper of his Zipper.

    1. Robin Ellacott*

      I really, really want closure on the second one. I need to read the dramatic take-down of people who thought sexually harassing the VP of HR was a good plan.

  32. Aphrodite*

    Since it came up just yesterday I would really like to hear from the OP of the “Jane’s desk” letter. That was a haunting situation and the OP got a lot of good advice. I would love to know how it was ultimately handled.

    1. Librarian of SHIELD*

      I have somehow never seen this one before today and it is an utterly baffling thing for OP to have been worried about.

      Maybe they’re one of those “any and all references to money are tacky” people? Maybe using a debit card feels classier because the money is invisible that way, and they think that being reminded that people pay for things with money is gauche?

      1. PollyQ*

        Based on the 2nd paragraph of the letter, which includes a bunch of info that’s totally irrelevant to the question, my best guess is that OP is an intensely conformist person and believes strongly that Being Different Is Wrong.

        But who knows? That’s why we crave the updates!

      2. goddessoftransitory*

        They watched the credit card scene in American Psycho on a loop and went a little off track?

    2. Mauvaise Pomme*

      Ooh, I like this deep cut of a post! I didn’t remember this one, but I too would like an update. What a bizarre thing for the letter writer get all twisted about! I wonder if it’s a niche field with a really rigid workplace culture or something?

    3. Katiekins*

      From the original letter: “But she doesn’t see why using cash (to pay for) a business meal or event is a faux pas or misstep.”

      Uh, I don’t see why it is, either!!

      1. Irish Teacher*

        I just read it after seeing this and yeah, I’d like an update too, not so much because of the issue itself but because the LW seems so certain that everybody will be shocked that the employee used cash. I’d like to know why she thought that a problem because…I really don’t see why it would be.

        My guess is it’s something to do with the optics of it looking like you might have been turned down for a credit card, but still…

  33. Abe Froman*

    Was there ever an update from the person whose team kept driving off anybody trying to take the job left vacant by a coworker who died? That one was completely b-a-n-a-n-a-s.

  34. Hills to Die on*

    I will never stop hoping for an update on the one where the boss said everyone has to offer to donate a liver to their family member or be fired.
    I know, it’s time to let go but I’ll never stop hoping that this is the year my Update Dreams come true.

        1. Expelliarmus*

          There was an update on the post where the LW’s husband couldn’t go into the office when his kids were sick because his boss was undergoing chemo, but not the one where the LW was undergoing chemo and her boss kept bothering her IN PERSON, which I think is what Rachel 2 is talking about

  35. Belle of the Midwest*

    There was an update to this one, but it’s been a few years and I wonder about the woman who didn’t get a job she desperately wanted because she was a high school bully to one of the rockstar employees at the company. The update had her with no job in the field and some bridges burned. I hope she did some growing and is in a better place now.

    1. Not Your Admin Ass(t)*

      I’d love an update too! As someone who was severely abused by students and teachers alike throughout my grade school years,* I have to admit, I got a ton of catharsis from that update. I wouldn’t have felt that way if the LW had taken responsibility for her actions. But instead, she verbally assaulted her high school victim in a restaurant so badly that she got herself kicked out and banned. Then still had the nerve to blame her victim for how she had ruined her own dream career chances with her actions.

      I get that in the heat of the moment self-reflection is not always a thing we have, but her behavior was bad enough across her letters, and her personal responsibility consistently lacking enough, that I felt like however she’d changed from high school, it wasn’t nearly enough. She had a ton of work left to do on herself, and I hope she did it, but if not, then I’m not sorry if she ruined her own life. My only concern is for her victims.

      *Abuse of the “more than one person should have gone to jail for this” stripe, but as a kid, I didn’t know how wrong what I was being put through was. Especially not when my own parents were telling me that if bad things were happening to me, I must’ve done something to deserve it because “[their false] god doesn’t punish people unfairly.”

  36. Canadian Girl*

    I would love an update from the boss who said her new hire was “too big for her britches” after the new hire wasn’t paid for 2 pay periods!!!!!!!!

        1. Where’s the Orchestra?*

          Sadly I think the boss whose employee wasn’t paid doubled down as well. I got lots of whiffs of privilege in being able to float a pay delay from the manager there.

    1. Hlao-roo*

      Yes, I want an update to this one too! It’s “my employee wasn’t respectful enough after the company messed up her paycheck” from October 19, 2021 for those who want to (re)read it.

  37. Sanity Lost*

    I have 2 I would love updates on:
    1) 2018 – The one where one employee sent pictures of her team leads stoma bag to clients because he got the lead and she didn’t. The person who was writing in had not disciplinary power and the ones who did were out of town.

    2) The one from the executive assistant to the VP of Human resources; who was being harassed by 2 female managers. They were calling her the “Keeper of the Zipper” because she wouldn’t let them have unlimited access to her bosses time.

    1. Observer*

      We’re not going to get an update to the first one. The LW got dumped on quite harshly, and they came back in to clarify some stuff and say that they were not going to engage or read any further because of how unfair people were being.

  38. Kate, short for Bob*

    I’d love an update on last week’s letter where a teacher was being bullied via an insect plushy. I hope it was a quick resolution, possibly with Hulk-smashing.

    1. Kate, short for Bob*

      Huh, it was only this week. In my defense I’m in the UK, and our weeks are going on for years at the moment.

  39. pandq*

    I recently re-read the post about the person whose sister was dying of cancer and had a co-worker saying wildly inappropriate and mean things to her about it. It’s probably too much to ask for an update since it’s about a loved one – I would love to know if the co-worker was shut down and how.

  40. pandq*

    I recently re-read the post about the person whose sister was dying of cancer and had a co-worker saying wildly inappropriate and mean things to her about it. It’s probably too much to ask for an update since it’s about a loved one – I would love to know if the co-worker was shut down and how. And I can just say here that I love update-season almost as much as Thanksgiving stuffing. Which is a lot.

    1. Where’s the Orchestra?*

      I want to say that the car crash OP updated in the comments that the employee was indeed fired, because they kept doubling down.

    1. Where’s the Orchestra?*

      Oh yes – having had a coworker like that (who was also a nepotism hire), I so want to know where boss is vanishing to.

  41. Winnie*

    The one where the legal secretary received a baffling phone call from her boss’s wife. Anyone else curious about that one?

  42. nora*

    Did we ever get an update on the person whose coworker was recently divorced and wilding out? I’m recalling inappropriate relationships with patients and taking nudes/underwear photos at work with the clinic logo clearly visible.

    1. Where’s the Orchestra?*

      I think there was an in progress update, but I’d love a final after the fact to know what happened there.

  43. AngelS.*

    I would LOVE to read an update on the manager who thought her employee was disrespecting her because she mentioned her paycheck was late.

  44. No Crying in Baseball*

    There was also a letter from a woman whose husband resigned for her and wrote in to see if it was unprofessional, then DEFENDED TO THE DEATH her choice in a way that no one was attacking in the first place? Everyone thought it was heading down a harmful relationship path and I’d love to know if she got out.

    1. No Crying in Baseball*

      I think he engaged in the comments and reluctantly saw his error. (Down at the 9:34pm mark as well as throughout.) But long term I don’t know what happened.

  45. Pocket Mouse*

    Ooooh time to break out my running list, will post my requests as a reply here! *rubs hands together in glee*

    1. Pocket Mouse*


      – Interested for more details/an update for #1 about paternity leave


      – There was an update after a few weeks, but I’d like to know how things turned out with Jane, and if OP feels more confident raising concerns in the years since.



      – The last update was in 2017- did they get the collections back?!



      – Did they reduce or start paying for the assignment?


      – Letter 5- dating a colleague when working in HR


      – Especially in light of current discourse around “quiet quitting”







      – The letter was posted May 16, 2012, and the LW gave an update in the (very first!) open thread on May 18, 2012 at 4:36pm. I’m desperately wondering what another decade since then will show!

  46. Allison K*


    Yeah I’d like to know if that guy has grown any.

  47. Zephy*

    I find myself most curious about how some of the more…colorful…LWs and subjects of letters are doing these days. Like Cheap-Ass Rolls, the Militant Recycler, and Sulky the Magician from the Worst Holiday Party Ever. The chances of hearing back from any of these people are slim-to-none, I know, but all the same I hope they’re doing better now.

    1. FashionablyEvil*

      Oh, I don’t need an update on the sulky magician. That story lives in perfection. (I actually just sent it to a friend last week to cheer her up on a bad day.)

  48. IT Manager*

    Every year I hope this is the year that the Leap Year Birthday employee finds this blog and sends in an update….

  49. Paris Geller*

    I’m sure I’ll continue to think of more, but a recent one I would love an update on: my employee is obsessed with cleaning from October 5th!

    1. Where’s the Orchestra?*

      Yes, I would love to know if the hyper-cleaner was able to get it under control or if their boss needed to replace them in the end.

  50. RedThreads*

    I would love to hear from the manager who had an entire team that was chasing away all the new employees that were filling the role of their colleague that died. But all of the updates are fantastic!

  51. Calamity Janine*

    it is entirely unlikely. it is incredibly improbable. it is the ultimate white whale, and yet, i am captain ahab, endlessly searching the horizon for it:

    duck club letter update

    1. Calamity Janine*

      i think i speak for many of us when i say i’d be fascinated about how duck club handled the pandemic. you’ve heard of love in the time of cholera, now get ready for quacking in the time of covid,

    1. Katiekins*

      Yes!! I was coming here to say the same. Did our OP leave this grueling grind as they said they were thinking about? Were they able to make any changes for their team?

      1. Calamity Janine*

        i still sincerely stand by my hopes for the LW in that comment section.

        absolutely, with all my heart and soul, i want an update that’s pure “i listened and y’all were right, nobody can do this, including me. i quit. i’m in a totally different industry now. yes i’m making 1/3 the salary but i got to sit on my porch and listen to the birds singing this morning. everyone who sees me says i look twenty years younger from the stress being gone. i have my life back. i have never been happier.” because dear lord, this LW needs that so bad, instead of being stuck in a death march of this-is-how-it-has-always-been-done.

  52. Slinky*

    Yay update season! A few I’d like to see include:

    *I asked for held building my skills and got put on a PIP (#2 https://www.askamanager.org/2022/05/my-coworker-reeks-of-weed-i-asked-for-help-and-got-put-on-a-pip-and-more.html)
    *Should I work for this investor or run for the hills? (#1 https://www.askamanager.org/2022/08/is-this-investor-shady-jobs-with-low-pay-because-youre-expected-to-have-family-support-and-more.html)
    *Pushy coworker won’t stop bringing me food I didn’t ask for (https://www.askamanager.org/2022/08/pushy-coworker-wont-stop-bringing-me-food-i-didnt-ask-for.html)

  53. Elizabeth*

    https://www.askamanager.org/2022/09/my-boss-only-wants-to-hire-attractive-young-women.html The link says it all. I’m concerned for the LW and what they decided to do about their job.

    https://www.askamanager.org/2022/05/my-boss-removed-me-from-a-work-trip-because-im-a-woman.html Again, concerned for the future of the LW.

    https://www.askamanager.org/2021/07/my-trust-fund-coworker-bullies-staff-for-being-poor.html I hope that Lucy & Sally aren’t in a position to bully anyone anymore.

    https://www.askamanager.org/2021/03/a-vp-wants-me-to-out-myself-at-work-and-wont-take-no-for-an-answer.html I hope that the LW wasn’t outed.

    There are multiple others that have been mentioned. Almost anything under the “jerks” tag.

  54. Funkywizaard*

    I’d like an update from the 40ish year old lady who worked in HR and was having a flirtatious relationship with 18 year old Andre, a student worker. This was from July 2020.

  55. JacqueM*

    It’s a darker one but I just read in random skimming the -after an employee died, her team has driven off anyone we hire to replace her – I would like to hear how that was resolved as that manager was in such a difficult situation!

  56. Random Bystander*

    I’d like to hear what Dwight’s reaction was on the letter from Oct 19 (assistant manager promoted to manager, going to inherit problem employee) and how Lucy is doing.

    1. Where’s the Orchestra?*

      I know there was a mini-update in the comments that the OP did get the promotion. And Dwight applied to replace OP at their old job, but OP was out of town and hadn’t announced the decision on her replacement yet.

      Would love to know how everything sorted out there.

  57. londonedit*

    As a general theme, I’d love to hear from anyone whose letter was answered in late 2019/very early 2020 – I imagine the advice would have seemed very clear-cut at the time, but no one knew we were about to be plunged into…*waves hands around*…the last two and a half years. Maybe a lot of the answers are just ‘we started working from home so it wasn’t an issue’ but I’m sure there are people who thought they were going on one path based on Alison’s advice but who ended up on a completely different journey.

  58. Cadsuane*

    I’d like an update to the one where some employees were throwing a peed-upon pregnancy test around the office while filming it, and then started bullying their coworker because she didn’t want to touch the pee-stick

  59. Debora*

    I would love an update from the woman who’s coworker was convinced her partner was abusing her, who then gave an update saying the coworker had been fired and was now stalking her and her partner:

    Even if she can’t give any specifics about what happened with the coworker due to legalities (she was working on getting a restraining order), I would just love to hear if she’s okay. I think about her from time to time and am still worried for her.

  60. EvilQueenRegina*

    I still think about that one where the boss kept talking about her new man on the oil rigs and OP suspected a catfish.

  61. Jack Straw from Wichita*

    The one where the person got a secret santa gift from a pornstar

    The one where the board member secretly recorded staffers sharing personal stories and wanted t posted to social media

    The one where people were convinced the LW was coming back to work at their firm but they definitely were not

  62. Jack Straw from Wichita*

    I have been bookmarking posts all year for just this occasion!

    our new admin crashed the company car and lied about it

    Can HR say your size is intimidating other employees?
    Trainer keeps calling me by the wrong name

    Coworker keeps questioning me about my work

    Drinking and overnight visits to the boss

    my coworker gets upset when I say “thank you” and takes offense to routine work stuff … and my boss won’t manage her

  63. Jack Straw from Wichita*

    my older male colleague gives me condescending, unsolicited advice

    my boss sent me a message urging me to follow Jesus

    I have a disrespectful trainee

    I don’t like my super popular coworker … and she complained to my boss about it

    my company fired a bad employee, then un-fired him the same day

    Is it OK to suggest my employee apply for another job?

    my team demands aggressive positivity … and I have a medical condition that leaves me exhausted

  64. Silly Janet*

    I thought I was responding to the one about the coworker who had died and her team kept driving off any new employee.

  65. Jean Pargetter Hardcastle*

    I would like an update on the person who was told to stop her 100-day dress challenge because a coworker raised “hygiene concerns” with the boss, and/or the other person who wanted to know if they could continue their 100-day dress challenge starting a new job!

  66. Living the Dream (not)*

    My favorite season? Update season!! Bring it on! (ALSO… probably not doable, but I would LOVE to see a bracket challenge for the “Sweet 16” of 2022 posts.)

    my new hire built a blanket nest in her office
    – 8/30/2022

    coworker is pregnant with my boss’s baby – 4/6/2022

    the new hire who showed up is not the same person we interviewed – 1/31/2022

    my coworker tried to film her pregnancy announcement and now there is chaos
    – 1/13/2022

    our boss is demanding a gift with an accounting of names and how much each person contributed – 5/18/2022

    (These were copied from my running list of favorites. Apologies if they already have updates. )

  67. Square Root of Minus One*

    I havent seen it so far but I’d love an update from the person who submitted the “it’s her or me” ultimatum letter.
    The situation was a total mess but the first update was hopeful and I’d like to read how things are now.

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