A reader writes:

I’m in education and transferring to a new state, Pennsylvania to Virginia. I’ve had five interviews that I have not heard any response from. One of the interviews was a dud and I knew I was not their candidate. However, the others were great from my view, and I felt like a legitimate candidate for the job. How long should I wait before reaching out to either HR or the interviewer? Is there a policy expectation I can refer to in future interviews?

It’s been years since I’ve done a post about following up after interviews. I did a zillion of them in the first few years of running the site and then took, like, seven years off from them, but it’s probably time for another.

So here’s the deal about following up:

1. There is a ton of advice out there that tells people to follow up after an interview so that you look interested and enthusiastic. This advice is terrible, and hiring managers will almost uniformly tell you to ignore it because it’s annoying and often pushy. Employers know that you’re interested because you took the time to interview and you sent a thank-you note afterward reiterating your interest. (Right? If you didn’t, start doing that.)

2. At the end of every interview, you should ask your interviewer this: “Can you tell me about your timeline for next steps and when you expect to be back in touch?” That way, you have an initial timeframe to work with.

3. You should take that timeframe with a massive grain of salt. Double it or triple it. If they say “by the end of the week,” assume it means “maybe in two weeks.” If they say “two weeks from now,” assume it means “hopefully three or four weeks.” Hiring nearly always takes longer than anyone expects it will, including employers. Delays inevitably come up — a decision maker is out of town, or higher priorities get in the way, or all sorts of other things. If they do contact you within their stated timeline, let that be a delightful surprise. But don’t count on it happening; you will be far happier if you assume from the start that it won’t.

4. Take the timeline they give you, add a week to it, and mark that date on your calendar. (If you didn’t ask for a timeline during the interview, then just mark two weeks from the date of the interview.) That’s the earliest date that you should follow up. Ideally you’d put the job entirely out of your mind until that point so that you’re not wondering and agonizing about it (if you’re the type to agonize). Try to forget about it, assume you didn’t get the job (which is better for your peace of mind), and don’t think about it again until that date pops up on your calendar.

5. When that date rolls around, you can send a follow-up email if you haven’t heard anything. It should say something like this: “I was hoping to check in with you about the llama wrangling job. I know you were hoping to be moving forward around now, and I wondered if you had an updated timeline you could share. I’m really interested in the role and would love to talk further with you about it at any time.”

6. If they’re courteous, they should get back to you. It might not be immediate, but they should respond at some point — say, within a week or so. But if they’re like a lot of employers, they won’t get back to you. That is rude, and it’s also really, really common. If that happens, don’t keep following up. At that point, their silence is their answer. It’s a rude answer, but it’s the answer nonetheless.

At least for now, anyway. It’s possible that they’ll come back to you in the future, but at this point the ball is in their court, and you should assume that if they want to talk to you, they’ll let you know. If they want to interview you again, they’ll tell you. If they want to offer you a job, they’ll tell you. They’re not going to not contact you just because you didn’t keep following up.

I probably get more questions about how to follow up on a job application or job interview than any other other topic.

If you’re like most job seekers, the post-interview stage of the job hunting process can cause a lot of stress: If you follow up, what should you say? How can you be sure that you’re striking the right balance between interested but not desperate? And what exactly should you be asking for, since presumably you’d know if they’d already decided to hire you?

Ideally, you planned ahead for this moment by asking in the interview itself what the employer’s timeline was for next steps. If you did that and the timeline you were given passes, then you have a ready-made reason for politely following up. In this case, you can write a quick email saying something like this:

“Hi Jane, you’d mentioned that you were hoping to be ready to move forward on the Communications Manager position by the end of the month, so I wanted to check in with you. I’m very interested in the role, even more so after our last conversation, and would love to know what your timeline looks like moving forward.”

Now, if you didn’t think to ask for a timeline in your interview, you can still send a similar email. Wait about two weeks from your interview before checking in, and say something like this:

“Hi Jane, I wanted to touch base with you about the Communications Manager position. I’m still very interested in the role. Do you have a timeline you can share for the next steps in the hiring process?”

 Note in both these examples that you’re not simply asking for an update on how the search is going. That because that isn’t as likely to produce the information that you’re really interested in, and it’s also easier to ignore, especially if the hiring manager doesn’t have anything definite to share yet. You’re also not just asking, “Did I get the job?” (After all, if they’ve decided to offer you the job, you’ll know – because you’ll be contacted with a  job offer.) Instead, you’re asking for something quick and easy to provide, and something that will give you a better sense of what to expect next: an updated timeline.

Other things to remember when writing your follow-up note:

• Keep it short. Hiring managers are generally busy, so don’t send three paragraphs when a few short sentences will do. Be friendly and polite, but get straight to the point – and remember that you’re demonstrating your communication skills here just as much as you were in your cover letter and your interview. Be direct and concise. (Plus, you’re more likely to get a response is the recipient doesn’t have to wade through long paragraphs of text to find out what you want.)
• Be conversational. You want the hiring manager to be able to picture working with you, so write the way you’d write to a colleague. Your tone should be warm and not overly formal or stiff. (Don’t go overboard in that direction, of course; you still need to be professional. But there’s no need to take on the overly formal tone of an old-fashioned business letter.)
• Don’t be demanding. You might be frustrated that you haven’t heard anything back, especially if the employer’s own self-imposed timeline for getting back to you has passed. But don’t let it show. Hiring takes time, and other work often gets in the way. Sounding annoyed or pressuring the hiring manager to make a decision before she’s ready to is a good way to have that decision be “no!”

Want more help finding a job?
Get my e-book:  How To Get a Job / Secrets of a Hiring Manager

If you’ve ever wished that you could look into the brain of a hiring manager to find out what you need to do to get hired, this e-book is for you. I’ll give you step-by-step help through every stage of your job search, explaining at each step what a hiring manager is thinking and what they want to see from you. Learn more here.

A reader writes:

I am at my second semester of graduate school. In order to get an internship for next semester, I’ve been really working 24/7 for the past month. However, I still haven’t heard anything from employers yet and of course feel frustrated, as the deadline for join my school’s internship program is in three weeks.

My mother, who is staying with me now, has strong opinions and thinks I should call employers much more often than I am doing now. (I normally only call them before submitting the application to ask for more details and when the time they promised to come back to me has passed.) However, my mother believes that employers are rather busy and don’t have so much time to go through every resume, and since I have a not-that-outstanding resume, I should call them more often. Maybe if the person has so much to do and doesn’t want to bother with boring recruitment, they will just pick the one who always calls them. Therefore, I should lobby by phone more often (“every day” is what she thinks is a decent frequency).

I don’t think my mother knows so much about the job market, but I do think it makes sense that all applicants are somewhat similarly qualified with promising cover letters, so maybe it is one way to stand out, as it could impress HR more than a plain letter. What do you think? What would be a nice frequency to call up the companies, and what should I say? (Especially if I really am going to call every day, I wonder what to say.) Is it a good idea to be more private and ask the person about their own positions or background on the phone? Or will this backfire on me if the company gets irritated or annoyed?

You are hereby forbidden to take advice from your mother on anything job-related.

• The correct frequency for calling to check on your application: zero
• The correct frequency for calling before you submit an application: zero
• The correct frequency for taking advice to annoy hiring managers with daily (!) phone calls: zero
• The correct frequently for calling employers and asking about their own backgrounds, when they haven’t even expressed interest in interviewing you: zero

The vast, vast majority of employers do not want to receive phone calls from applicants. If they’re interested in interviewing you, they will contact you. If you call, you will annoy them. If you call more than once, you will really annoy them and risk having your application thrown out or at least marked as “pushy/annoying.” And if you call daily, you will be told to stop and will probably never get a job there, ever.

After all, most employers get hundreds of applications for every open position. Imagine if all those people called them, even just once. (To say nothing of every day.) By demanding their attention, you’re going to come across as naive at best and and rude at worst.

They know you’re interested. The act of applying conveyed that to them. They will get in touch if they want to talk to you. But you can’t force your way in the door, and they are not going to be impressed by you continually knocking on it.

Now, yes, there are some employers who are so disorganized that calling them can be enough to get them to look at your application when they otherwise would not have. But these employers are the minority, so while there’s the chance that you could hit on the random luck to help yourself with one of them, you will harm yourself with everyone else (and everyone else is in the vast majority). So the overwhelming odds are that this behavior will hurt your chances. (Plus, those disorganized employers who respond to random phone calls? You don’t want to work for them. They’re disorganized and chaotic and don’t know how to hire.)

If you want to stand out, you stand by being a highly qualified candidate with a compelling cover letter and a resume that shows a track record of achievement. That’s it.

I know that it’s tempting to want to find some other way of standing out, especially when you feel you have a “not that outstanding resume.” But employers are looking for the most qualified candidate who’s the best fit. They’re not looking for the loudest.

A reader writes:

A while back, I wrote to you about an internship that was going well, and the fact that there was a position open at the institution I was interning at. I applied, and got rejected the first time. I thought nothing of it, and went about applying for other opportunities elsewhere.

The week before last, I got an email saying the applicant pool was being reopened, and they were interested in conducting a phone interview with me. I aced that interview, and went on to the in-person interview. That did not goes as well as I anticipated, but it was a good experience nonetheless.

I am now in the process of waiting to hear back. They told me they were hoping to have a decision made by the end of the week. Do I have to wait through the holidays, then? It’s brutal not knowing at this time of year, especially when you are anticipating not getting it.

I am very tempted to email my mentor, who is on the search committee. However, I do not want to come off as pushy. What do you suggest? Honestly, I would rather know now where they are in the process, so I can mentally prepare to continue my job-searching after the holidays if need be.

I know this sucks to deal with, but honestly, the best thing that you can do is to move on mentally right now. That doesn’t mean that I think you didn’t get the job (I have no idea, obviously), but you’re falling into the trap that so many job-seekers fall into where they agonize and stress about hearing an answer, even when they believe they probably didn’t get the position. Why not just assume you didn’t get it and move on? If you eventually hear from them with an offer, what will you have lost by not continuing to agonize the whole time? You’ll have lost nothing, will have gained a couple of angst-free weeks, and will have the bonus of a surprise job offer as well.

If they have something they’re ready to tell you, you’ll hear from them when they’re ready to tell you. Until then, you can’t control when they get in touch with you, but you can control your own reaction. You write, “It’s brutal not knowing at this time of year.” So change that: Assume you didn’t get it and move on. Again, if you’re wrong it’ll be a pleasant surprise.

(And, by the way, I’m not defending employers who leave candidates waiting without an answer after the timeline they gave them has passed. Employers should be more aware of how agonizing this often is for candidates, and they should update people when their initial timelines change, so that you aren’t wondering what the hell is going on and why you haven’t heard a single word. But at the same time, it’s helpful for job-seekers to know that this is incredibly common, and to automatically assume that when an employer says, “You’ll hear from us by Friday,” it probably means “Friday plus a week or two.” Not because you should have to, but because you do have to.)

Give yourself the Christmas present of letting go of your angst on this one — you truly have nothing to lose by doing so.

This question came up in the comments on a recent post: Is sales really an exception to the “don’t call to follow up” rule?

I’ve written numerous times about how — in most industries — you shouldn’t call to follow up on your job application, because it’s annoying and won’t help your chances … and that more broadly, job seekers need to get rid of the idea that they’re supposed to demonstrate “persistence” or “tenacity” in the job search. Usually, though, I mention that the sales industry is an exception to that rule. (Retail and food service often are too.)

However, a commenter recently asked whether sales really is an exception to this rule, and I realized that I’m skeptical that it truly is. I started adding it because people kept telling me that sales is an exception, but never having worked in sales, I have no first-hand experience to say for sure … and frankly, it sounds implausible to me that sales managers would respond to pushiness any more than any other hiring manager would.

So: People who know, is sales really an exception to the “don’t call to follow up or otherwise be pushy or aggressive in job hunting” rule or is that a myth?

And for everyone else: Here’s your periodic reminder that hiring managers in most industries are not looking for persistence — you cannot make them contact you by repeatedly calling or emailing them, and you’ll annoy them by making repeated overtures without an expression of interest in return.

A reader writes:

How much effort to connect directly is too much when applying to positions?

I am getting the impression from feedback that supply and demand means employers have to sift through many more applications than they have time to process in any depth. So personal contact / networking and briefer applications may have a better chance of getting through than more detailed applications capable of standing on their own, sent into HR email / online talent management systems’ black holes.

However, I have found results haphazard when doing things like finding/emailing the hiring manager, following up after a week or two, contacting people on LinkedIn to connect, etc. for positions where there is otherwise a strong fit to requirements — in other words, when the application could adequately express my merits.

What are your thoughts on acceptable methods / frequencies and deciding factors to back off or escalate? I have read mixed comments from employers in articles like yours — sustained efforts just annoy some managers, others find the tenacity a selling point.

The extras that you’re talking about make sense when you have connections to the employer, or your connections have connections there. In that case, it makes sense to reach out directly to the person you know there, or to have people you know with connections there reach out directly on your behalf.

But if there’s no personal connection, then you’re generally not going to do yourself much good (and in many cases will just annoy the hiring manager).

Notice that this is a good argument for building those connections before you want to apply for a job somewhere — because if you try to do it after you’ve applied, you will blend into the mass of people who are all trying the same ineffective tactics in order to get their applications noticed.

But assuming you don’t have connections to work with a particular job, then the way you stand out is by being a great candidate:  having a resume that shows a strong track record of getting results in the areas that they’re hiring for, writing a compelling cover letter that doesn’t simply regurgitate information they can find on your resume, and being professional, friendly, and responsive when they contact you.

Honestly, very few hiring managers value “tenacity” in the job application process. More often, “tenacity” reads as pushiness. And the hiring managers who do respond to it — and yes, there are some, although they’re in the minority — are precisely the managers you don’t want to work for: They’re the disorganized ones, the ones who don’t value hiring the right person enough to do their job without prompting from a  candidate, the ones who respond to gimmicks or flashiness over merit when you’re working for them. Guess what your quality of life is going to be like on that job? You really don’t want to screen for them by your behavior in your job search.

Job seekers need to get rid of this idea that they’re supposed to demonstrate “persistence” or “tenacity” in the job search. I know there are self-appointed “experts” out there telling you that, but the reality is that — unless you’re in sales* — that’s not what good employers are looking for.

It’s time to stick that idea in a time capsule and bury it deep in the ground … possibly along with the “experts” pushing that idea.

* Possibly not in sales either, as you’ll see in the comments.