updates: my coworker won’t take corrections, the swollen face, and more

by Alison Green on April 21, 2022

Here are four updates from past letter-writers.

1. My coworker won’t take corrections and blames his mental health

I have an update! Thank you and the commenters so much for the advice on the previous question!

When I went to my manager with the actual data on the amount of time lost on his quality checks, I also pointed out that some of our larger jobs by other designers wouldn’t be checked in time for us to hit our deadlines. There were other “disturbing rumors” about John going around; if you were 1 on 1 with him, he would say something bigoted, and then blame his mental health when confronted. Unfortunately he wasn’t recorded saying anything, so the actions that were going to be taken WERE: John was to be put on a PIP and moved to a new team to see if he could function under a different management style. Part of that PIP was going to be a much longer and more intensive “Diversity Equity and Inclusion” training than the company standard. He did not like this and ended up having to be walked out.

Another coworker and I have been assigned to do damage control on the work he’s left behind, both internally (patching things up with other teams) and externally with the clients as we give them work to our regular quality standards. Apparently he was sending the “pre-quality checked work” to the client. We were trusted with the responsibility because the client loves the rest of the team’s work. With any luck, in a few weeks to months, he’ll be a bad dream. Thanks again!

2. I had an accident right before my first day and my face is swollen and stitched up (#3 at the link)

I started my new role and my face healed up nicely. The only remnants of the accident are a small scar and I have healed completely.

Like a lot of people during the pandemic, I experienced horrible burnout and ended up leaving a job I had been at for 2+ years. Because of that burnout, I think I accepted my new job (HR Manager) in haste. This is a much slower pace than what I am used to and there just isn’t enough work to sustain a full-time HR Manager role. It is a great company, with great people. It just isn’t the right job for me. I feel terrible about my decision, but I am looking for a different position. I just wanted to send along an update and thank you again for your advice.

3. My abusive boss was fired after I complained about her — what do I say to coworkers? (first update here)

I am thrilled to report that I’m now considered the go-to person for the department and was promoted. Thank you and your commenters for the advice and good magic.

A lot has happened since my last update. Cecil (the reformist department head) has cleaned house! So the rest of the toxic people are gone and most of the enablers are also gone…hardly anyone even remembers Hedra. And Cecil had 90% of these roles filled within 2 months because he enjoys a good reputation. At one point, he asked me to consider taking Hedra’s old role (as one commenter jokingly predicted). I was briefly tempted by thought of karma, baby, but turned it down for two reasons: I’d outgrown that subject matter, and I also felt it would set back my recovery. It was the right choice and I’m happy to have been promoted to lead in a more challenging area.

In terms of how I talk about that time in my career, I split the difference. I disclose that i survived workplace bullying when and only when I think the information would help new managers understand the lingering culture issues, or that it would give clarity to other employees in bad situations. When I do talk, I force myself to be brief, matter of fact, and forward-looking. I don’t have to do the first anymore because of the turnover. In terms of the second, I was able to help one colleague from a different team file a claim and get support from their grandboss and nudged another out of burning the bridge. I’m not at a point where I can thank Hedra, but my experience with her gives me credibility. When I say that the HR process is worth going through, people tend to listen.

If anyone is reading this from the depth of a toxic team, I want to assure you that leaving is not the only option. It’s hard, but you can fight. It’s uncertain, but you can win. Judge it case by case, and don’t feel stupid for wanting to keep your job. Hedra forced me in front of others to recite her instructions back to her like a child. She withheld access permissions for tools I needed, set impossible goals that made me sound bananas when I asked teams to collaborate on them. She made me serve food, and even groom her one time. (We work in tech.) She was mean as a snake and so sure she’d get away with everything, and god, did I want to RUN. But I knew that I’d feel cheated if I left, and where I work, short stints invite bad scrutiny. Another manager who was my confidante told me: “Remember that you work for (Company) not Hedra.” I decided a job at this company was worth fighting for, and what’s happened since validates the distinction.

One more thing. It looks like when I successfully negotiated my salary, I inadvertently outearned Hedra… Something to think about if you take a position under a long-tenured underperforming manager and she seems to hate you from day 1.

4. How to tell coworkers “you need to do that yourself” (first update here)

I never quite shook those additional duties. After Lily left, I went through a string of new managers, each one less concerned with defining my role than the last. For three years, I did equivalent and even superior work to the rest of the team for less pay and a lower title, but the flexibility kept me there, especially in pandemic times.

Finally, a fantastic job came open on a different team. I’d asked about this job two years prior and they said that while I was a great candidate, I was too far away and they couldn’t outbase the position. Well, post-2020, turns out they can and they did. I reviewed all your interview advice (here and in your book!). The high point was getting to ask what a successful candidate would look like after six months in the role. Because of that, I learned that the timeline for becoming proficient at the work was much longer than I realized. I was offered the role (a 20% raise!), accepted, and went in with realistic expectations.

After four months, I’ve already been offered the opportunity to work on a fantastic, challenging project with tons of potential for growth and development. I’m so nervous but so excited!

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{ 81 comments }

{ 81 comments… read them below }

  1. Anonynon*

    Ah OP1, your update is my dream. I have two on my team who are so uncooperative and unbearable to work with. One is a know it all, the other is a don’t do anything AT all. If only I could change teams! I’m keeping an eye out for other opportunities so I can get away from them. I know the one who doesn’t do anything thinks I’m condescending, but hey, he made me be that way with him. He complains about every tiny change even though he’s supposed to be a seasoned professional who should just know how to pivot and roll with the changes. No matter how many managers we’ve had, we’re up to number four starting soon, he does not get it, and the company just keeps employing him.

    1. KSharpie*

      Lw1 here: I definitely have some changes that still trip me up and I get a little mad about, nobody’s perfect.
      But I personally invested over 72 hours over the course of a month trying to train him. Nothing stuck.

  2. The Wizard Rincewind*

    Gonna live vicariously through LW1’s experience. When I read the letter the first time, I had an out-of-body experience at the “condescending as always” line and wondered if I’d written that in my sleep, as I also have a coworker who doesn’t take critique well.

    1. KSharpie*

      I’m LW 1 and let me tell you I was livid. I had to take a walk so I didn’t start screaming. (I accidentally scared some construction workers at another building because once I got outside there was a steady stream of profanity.)
      (Un)fortunately I’m still only about 3 years into my professional career, so I’m sure I’m going to run into more people like this.

      1. Working Hypothesis*

        You probably will, but look at it this way: you handled this one well and your company handled him even better, so you will go into any others knowing what dealing properly with them looks like! That’s something a lot of us have to blunder our way to knowing, and takes us years.

        Congratulations on getting rid of a lump of useless colleague!

  3. Bookworm*

    #3: I’m so glad it worked out for you. I’ve definitely felt that feeling (if I stay perhaps it will improve or I can make it better) and sadly that hasn’t been the case (I had to leave or else I’d suffer more) but I’m happy it did for you! That’s awesome!!

    1. Allie*

      Thank you so much, Bookworm. This is the first time I’ve done this. By “this,” I mean that I decided to fight instead of 1) resigning, which is what Hedra and Jared wanted and what two of my predecessors did, or 2) being terminated at the end of my probation period like the third predecessor. I first had a free consult with a lawyer and that brought a lot of clarity. I recommend that to anyone who is in the same situation.

  4. Mockingjay*

    Re: #1 Apparently he was sending the “pre-quality checked work” to the client.

    *Shudders.” This is my nightmare. I fight continuously to edit stuff before the engineers forward it to the government customer. “But it’s only a draft!” Yes, but it’s a very bad draft and embarrassing to read, and Big Boss said everything has to have at least one edit, even for a draft review. (Big Boss is a very lax manager who blames support staff for everything instead of the technical staff.)

    But I’m glad things are getting better for you, OP1!

    1. KSharpie*

      LW 1 here! Me too. We got a bunch more work after we corrected about a quarter of what he’d sent without our corrections, and we’ve flown through it since. We still catch things but without him, the correction process is down to about an hour per point, rather than a 3 business day argument.

        1. KSharpie*

          By both my company and the client’s metrics, without him we’ve increased speed and accuracy.

  5. Observer*

    #1 –Apparently he was sending the “pre-quality checked work” to the client.

    That alone is a firing offense. When did the company figure this out? I’m glad he essentially fired himself.

    1. KSharpie*

      LW 1 here, we only had 1 client contact at the time and about 4 engineers worth of work, so his backlog is MASSIVE. The first job he turned in there were “some” client corrections, fine, sometimes something isn’t in the standards book yet and we need to get it in an email with the new process.
      An email for something regular would have maybe 2 total comments that would take 10 seconds left to fix.
      An email for one of his jobs included 3 pages of corrections. The quality team would re-train him on everything, we built comprehensive documents to help. We tried so hard, it felt like a failure.
      He’d complain we “hadn’t trained him.”
      Well, the client brought it up after the 3 pages of wrong started again and the client could prove he’d told us about it before. So I and my boss started digging. My boss sent our contact “Don’t check any of his jobs from X to Y date, we are fixing them right now” after we found out he hadn’t even opened the scoping documents. The only good news was that between the backlog of competent people and how slow John was at doing his work, he didn’t do too many jobs.

      1. Governmint Condition*

        I’ve been on the client end of this before. In one case, the head of my department contacted the principal of the firm. Next thing you know, the entire design team assigned to this project at the firm was fired and the job was completed by one of the company’s best teams. (It was a routine project and didn’t require the best team to work on it if the initial job had been done competently.)

        Honestly, I think at least one of those fired team members got a raw deal. He was the one who knew what he was doing, but was not in a position to fix his manager’s or coworkers’ problems.

        1. KSharpie*

          When I found out that he’d sent the work equivalent to a steaming pile of dog crap on to the client, I asked my boss if I needed to update my resume. Nope, because we could prove that the whole quality team had done their absolute best.
          I’d saved my correction notes for him locally because sometimes he’d just delete them as he “did” them, so I was covering my own butt.

          1. Observer*

            Oh wow!

            I think that there is one lesson to take going forward, even if you never have another “John” at you workplace. Find a way to make correction notes un-erasable, or at least to create an audit trail of changes made. (Something like Google Docs change log or Word’s “track changes”). Because mistakes happen, and being able to track stuff can be a game changer.

            1. The OTHER Other*

              I would go deeper and say it’s worth looking in to how “John” got hired in the first place and minimize recurrence, and also could the whole saga have been resolved sooner. I’m glad it worked out eventually for the OP but That “the good news” is he worked so slowly he didn’t manage to ruin more work is pretty terrible.

              1. Candi*

                That reminds me of a pre-1970 short story I read where the bad mechanic said at least the car stopped before it went through the wall, and the driver’s mother replied something about did the mechanic mean that the car stopping in time wouldn’t have been a problem if the brakes had been repaired properly?

                (In an earlier segment, it was established the wall was a very old stone wall on the edge of a cliff, right where the road turned. And the car stopped because a faulty axle collapsed, dropping the body of the car on the road. An axle the mechanic had claimed was fine, good as the brakes.)

  6. Chilipepper Attitude*

    #3 – I’m so glad you persevered and that it worked out so well! It cannot have been easy to navigate it all and it sounds like you did navigate it all so beautifully! Kudos!

    1. Allie (OP#3)*

      Thank you Chilipepper Attitude! It was tough but several years of reading AAM helped a lot. First because it gave me a more nuanced view of HR, second because it gave me the right words to respond to Hedra’s just…horrible comments. The HR investigator was visibly happy that I’d never been goaded into outbursts and actually said “no” to Hedra professionally and clearly like “Please don’t talk about my body/race/the investigation.” These skills have served me in “peacetime” too.

  7. Critical Rolls*

    John is one of those people who doesn’t get invited to the farewell party when he leaves. So long, [redacted]! I am breathing easier and I never set eyes on the fellow.

  8. Zephy*

    Wow, I think all of these original letters were more or less immediately pre-COVID. It’s surreal to read things from, like, December 2019 talking about the future.

      1. Where’s the Orchestra?*

        Yeah – John was just super special, and his super specialness resolved the problem quickly.

        1. Where’s the Orchestra?*

          Nevermind, I read a further update below, John was just super vile and gave all the ammunition needed to remove his worthless self – but not before doing more damage on the way out it sounds like.

  9. WellRed*

    I actually snorted when I read that John was upset by the extra DEI training. Yep, not a mental health issue, just an asshole issue.

    2. Candi*

      John sounds like a person who, even if his issue is legitimate, uses it as a shield and a bludgeon to get away with bad behavior.

      1. Working Hypothesis*

        Yeah. As has been said here frequently in other contexts, there are people with mental health problems and there are assholes, and sometimes they overlap. Having an illness doesn’t *make* you an asshole and it doesn’t make you not one either.

        And assholes who happen to have diagnoses often use those to bludgeon other people with, because they’re assholes and they use *anything* ready to hand to bludgeon other people with.

  10. JTP*

    I’m nosy, but I’m dying of curiousity about what John did/said to get himself walked out!

    1. KSharpie*

      Lw1 here, it’s worse than you imagine. He called one of my coworkers a race traitor, and screamed about (insert any slur you want) “being out to get him” about the rest of the team.
      He did not go quiet into the night.

      The rest of the team now has to take the DEI training and have conversations with HR to make sure we’re all ok.

        1. KSharpie*

          John is very white and has turned out to be a white supremacist who believed that my other coworker (and probably me) were traitors to “the white race.” The rest of my team is very diverse.

            1. KSharpie*

              I usually use the “our work is not political, don’t bring it up, just work” mindset but this was… this was levels beyond what DEI training can cover.

              1. Observer*

                Yeah. This a point where DEI kind of requires getting rid of him.

                I do think that it’s quite likely that he does have mental health problems. But that doesn’t excuse his behavior. Even if it were the reason for it (which is HIGHLY unlikely), even rules like the ADA don’t require keeping on someone that poses a threat to other staff or who poses a legal risk to the organization. And in any case, being a jerk or worse and having mental health problems are not mutually exclusive.

                1. KSharpie*

                  I know multiple people sent him the VERY NICE employee assistance program because he did have some level of tragedy in his life and definitely did need help. He just used everyone’s sympathy to insult and demean them for… not being white and male.

                2. Candi*

                  Yeah, ADA means you can’t use that as a factor in deciding hiring, promotions, raises, etc. It doesn’t mean you can’t bounce them for bad behavior in spite of their issue. (In spite of what some judges in various cases seem to think.)

          4. quill*

            There’s “unable to believe they could ever make a mistake” people, and then there’s white supremacists. Yikes.

          5. Macaroni Penguin*

            *stares in horror*
            Oh nooooo….
            Dear John, being a horrible person is not a mental health disorder

        2. F.M.*

          Generally it means you’re a white person who isn’t blatantly racist, and are thus “betraying” other white people by not championing their dominance over other races. It’s even more shocking than slurs in some ways: not in terms of harm to those being slurred, just that I would be even more surprised to hear it said. There are lots of racist pejoratives out there that people put in vaguely unexamined bucket and deploy to be nasty, but calling someone a race traitor means the person saying it is actively and consciously invested in being racist as a personal ideal.

          1. KSharpie*

            Apparently (we believe) John was expecting me and the other pale guy on the team to defend him.

            1. Observer*

              That he expected YOU to defend him is just soooo delusional. Which might be a good thing in this particular context. Because if he had been just a BIT more self aware he might have kept JUST enough of a lid on it to keep from getting walked out the door on the spot.

            2. Candi*

              I’ve fortunately only run into such people a couple times. I’m mostly West European ancestry and look it.

              I like to break out my very Hispanic maiden name for such occasions. It’s hilarious.

              (The name traces straight back to a Spanish ancestor, but I don’t bother to correct such idjits about their assumptions. They wouldn’t be having brain processing errors if they weren’t bigoted.)

        3. ferrina*

          It’s an insult used by racists that implies that someone owes loyalty to their race and should give favorable treatment to people of the same race as them. Essentially they’re trying to insult you by saying that you treat people fairly and equally (and that’s…..bad?)

          LW1, that was a lot worse than what I imagined.

        4. Fake Old Converse Shoes (not in the US)*

          I’ve heard that term before, as a derogatory term to describe someone extremely not traditional, like a Japanese teen wearing gothic lolita fashion in Akihabara instead of wearing a kimono and listening to the Yoshida Brothers.

        1. KSharpie*

          We are not, but none of us seem to be white supremacists hiding in plain sight, so that’s good.

      3. WantonSeedStitch*

        Well, sounds like the trash has definitely been taken out. What a piece of work.

      4. Where’s the Orchestra?*

        WOW…..

        John, the exit is over there, please make sure the door hits you multiple times on the way out (hoping maybe that will knock some sense into him, but not going to kill myself holding my breath while waiting for the heat death of the universe).

      5. MEH Squared*

        Wow. That is MUCH worse than I thought (and I was already mad that he blamed his mental health issues for being a bigot because that’s not how that works). So glad he’s gone and hopefully, he remains that way.

        1. KSharpie*

          Unfortunately I’m in a field where I likely will run into more people like him, but I have to tackle each person one at a time.
          I’m so mad that he was pulling “Excuse me that’s my emotional support bigoted belief” and getting away with it.

          1. Velocipastor*

            Thank you for the phrase “emotional support bigoted belief” because I have come across that exact phenomenon

            1. Robin*

              +1 I should not have laughed but the phrase is just *so perfect* in describing that absurdity. Thank you for a new descriptor

          2. EmmaPoet*

            “emotional support bigoted belief”

            Thank you for giving me such a concise and accurate way of putting this in future. Also, I hope John steps on Legos barefoot at 3am every night of his life.

        1. Candi*

          I think it says very sad things about some of the stuff I read about that I was more “oh, one of those.” (Thoughts about SCP-682 and snacktime may or may not have occurred.)

      7. Avi*

        Y I K E S

        It was pretty clear from your initial letter that John was A Problem, but turns out that he’s The WHOLE Problem. Good riddance and worst wishes to him.

  11. anonymous73*

    I’m very happy OP3 had a good experience with cleaning house. A few jobs ago my company brought in a new CTO. All of the IT managers were either let go or left. And there were several more layoffs within the department. He brought in his own managers, outsourced our help desk (which was dumb – most of our apps were proprietary and we always pulled people from the help desk to fill other IT positions) and then left, with all of his cronies following behind him one by one. I can’t believe I stayed there for another 4 years but I felt like I had accomplished something by surviving all the mess. We got to a point where every time we saw the HR lady in our building, we thought “oh shit who’s getting fired today”.

    1. Where’s the Orchestra?*

      Greetings fellow “survived the idiot” club member. I am now the only person left on my team that was (technically) hired by Manager 1 left. I even outlasted Manager 2 and several of her “interesting” hires. They are gone, I’m still here, and even got a promotion in the surviving.

      I say technically because Manager 1 was “out sick” the day I interviewed, and the team leads that were driven out (to avoid going crazy from the micromanaging) picked me. The other two people hired with me were picked by manager and neither made it to six months……..

    2. Candi*

      Never could understand people whose idea of taking over a business involved taking a functioning unit, that they haven’t even taken the time to study to see where any flaws are and how the dynamics work, and start breaking things and throwing useful stuff into the trash. Bonus nonsense points when they don’t even bother to find out what the business/department does first.

      1. Elizabeth West*

        This. OldExjob’s new parent company hired a VP to oversee OEJ and a sister company. VP was apparently hired on the condition that he could staff OEJ with former coworkers. The first thing he did was lay off a bunch of highly experienced employees, including the best manager the company had, who kept their second plant running like clockwork and whose reports loved him. Then VP left, the company was sold off again, and now it no longer exists. :(

    3. RebelwithMouseyHair*

      Schadenfreude is evil, but sometimes it’s good.
      My ToxicBoss1 once told me “so we don’t get on. I’m the boss, so you’re the one who has to leave”. (He couldn’t fire me because I was the best performer on the team, and you need to be able to cite serious problems here in France.)
      A short while later, he sold the company to avoid bankruptcy, and despite promising to keep him on, ToxicBoss2 promptly got rid of him, saying that his salary (+ company car + company motorbike) was the reason why we nearly went bust. The serious problem being that he didn’t bring in enough clients to cover his salary.

  12. MarsJenkar*

    While I’m happy that things worked out so spectacularly well for OP #3, I can’t help but think that the advice they gave here might be a bit too optimistic for many, and a product of survivorship bias.

    In this case, there was enough external support for the department to clean house. But as we’ve seen in other accounts, there have also been many cases where it hasn’t worked out nearly as well.

    It’s very much a case-by-case basis, so one has to make the choice based off of what they know about the situation. It may be “stay and fight” is the correct choice… but it may also be that the best choice is to run. And in a hopeless battle, there’s no shame in retreat.

    1. Observer*

      I have to agree with you. I’ve seen too many toxic workplaces that were simply not fixable. Or only fixable at an untenable cost.

    2. ThisIsNotADuplicateComment*

      OP3 explicitly says “Judge it case by case”. They’re not being too optimistic, they’re saying the exact same thing as you.

    3. Allie*

      Hi, I’m OP#3 and what ThisisNotADuplicate Comment said. My choice in this particular case does not invalidate yours, and I wish you’d just heard me out.

      My previous MO was to walk like away. It was always a good decision, but in retrospect, I don’t think it was always the RIGHT decision long-term. I missed out on building a more robust network, stock vestments, deeper expertise, all the things that continuity supports. The result was that I didn’t have comparable roles to escape to when I most needed it, and I had to make a stand against a team FAR more toxic than any I previously walked out on.

  13. Lizzo*

    LW3: STANDING OVATION. I’m so glad this worked out for you–both that you had the confidence to speak up, and that you encountered a HR department and company culture that worked *for* you, and not against you.

    1. Allie (OP#3)*

      Thanks Lizzo! And a big thanks to all the nice HR professionals in the commentariat that made me examine my bias against HR, over the years. If it weren’t for that, I don’t know if I would have gone to our HR.

  14. Sara without an H*

    Hi, OP#2!
    It is a great company, with great people. It just isn’t the right job for me.

    No need to feel guilty, that’s a perfectly good reason to job hunt. Since you’re in a better environment now, you can take some time and find a job that’s a better fit for you. Meanwhile, can you find some projects or activities that will strengthen your resume?

    Good luck!

    1. Where’s the Orchestra?*

      Agreeing hard with this. It’s okay if a job isn’t the right fit for you, but the people around you are wonderful. As Sara says, use this time to be picky and find the right fit.

    2. All Het Up About It*

      I’m glad you healed well and ready to find another new role for yourself, OP2. And I agree, I don’t think you have to feel guilty for things just not being the right fit.

      Though I do think it fascinating that this letter posted the same day as another OP wishing for a slower pace job, similar to what you’ve described. Everyone is different, right?

  15. tinybutfierce*

    #1. “He did not like this and ended up having to be walked out.”

    I’m forever fascinated (in like a horrified way) by people who’s bigotry overrides even their own self-preservation

  16. MrsThePlague*

    LW1 – I’m sending positive vibes and good energy to all the POC on your team who had to hear those vile comments from that awful man. Because I’d bet all the (not much) money in my bank account that they knew at some level what kind of person he was (POC often pick up on this stuff early – survival mechanism and all), and had to be on pins and needles the whole time he was there. His racist denouement was probably shocking, but not surprising, and totally exhausting.

    I’m glad the company brought in counselors for people – and I wish he’d been let go sooner.

    Congrats on the best possible outcome in a snifty situation!

    1. KofSharp*

      LW 1: I know at least one of the POC has literally said “I didn’t want to be too sensitive because he’s going through a hard time, but…” and I’m literally wondering how he thought his vile garbage was acceptable in the office?

  17. sweet*

    LW3, thank you so much for this update! I am so glad that your awful boss is the one who was fired, rather than you, and I also cannot tell you how much I needed to hear this story right now. It gives me hope that my own crappy situation can be overcome and that I can win against my own awful boss who is trying to have me fired right now for reasons that only make any sense to him.

    1. Allie (OP#3)*

      Hi Sweet, I have two books to recommend: “The No Asshole Rule” and “The Asshole Survival Guide.” I owe Professor Sutton a gift basket. Also, if you aren’t already, start a journal where you quickly write down (hand is ok) who said what, what the impact was. At the start of my process, I called a labor law firm for a free consultation. In my case, I didn’t learn anything new but they were able to confirm I was doing the right things, and help me prioritize, like telling me to go get doctor’s notes.

      1. RebelwithMouseyHair*

        Yes to the documenting. I had reams of emails from my ToxicBoss1, in which he harangued me for WFH while my kid was sick (my job typically could be done completely remotely and I could have taken time off to care for my daughter, but I was being conscientious), harangued me for taking sick leave (for swine flu – the doctor picked up on the fact that I was stressed out and tore up the sick note giving me a week to recover from the flu, and gave me another for two weeks to recover from the stress). And I documented evidence that he would promise the moon to the client, banking on the fact that I would stay late to finish the work, make me work with software that I’d never used, without me getting any training whatsoever, etc.
        When I told the occupational health doctor about it all, she signed a note saying I was not fit to work there any more, and since she had been to the office to get the boss’s side of the story, she also launched an inquiry because she found that all the staff were stressed out.

  18. Allie (OP#3)*

    I feel for you. Please do what’s right for you, whether that’s leaving or staying. Choose whatever lets you come through this with the means to recover.

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