where are you now? (a call for updates)

At the end of each year, I publish a slew of “where are they now” updates from people whose questions I answered here in the past. In past years we’ve had several hundred each December and it’s been magnificent.

If you’ve had your question answered here in the past, please email me an update and let us know how your situation turned out. Did you take the advice? Did you not take the advice? What happened? How’s your situation now?  (Don’t post your updates here though; email them to me.)

Note: Your update doesn’t have to be positive or big to be worth submitting. We want to hear them all, even if you don’t think yours is that interesting.

And if there’s anyone you especially want to hear an update from, mention it here and I’ll reach out to those people directly.

Posted in Uncategorized

{ 302 comments… read them below }

  1. Mim*

    It is too early for an update on the cat-loss-card letter since it was just posted today, but I want an update when there is one!

    1. Aquamarine*

      Yes! Did they find out who did it?? Hope it all worked out as well as can be expected for the OP and coworker who lost their cat.

  2. WellRed*

    So many updates wanted! Recent letter about unwarranted violations of the dress code near top of mind.

    1. Hlao-roo*

      For those who haven’t read it, the original post for Ideas Guy was “no one will hire me as their visionary” from November 18, 2010. I am also curious what the aspiring visionary is up to 13 years later.

        1. Fluffy Fish*

          Let’s not shall we? Working in fast food is not an insult.

          It’s a skilled job just like any other. There’s many reasons people work fast food and in fact can be a great ladder to management.

          We don’t need to insult people by dragging others down as well.

          1. Tiny clay insects*

            Love this comment. I want to find something appropriately catty to say about the ideas man without insulting fast food workers.

            1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

              Challenge accepted:
              Sitting at his computer writing blog posts about NFTs, crypto, EVs, GameStop investing were “just ideas” and he’s had a million better ones and if anyone listed to HIM, they’d all be rich.

              1. Hastily Blessed Fritos*

                Yeah, he’s totally an AI bro, formerly an NFT bro, selling his newsletter about the latest tech that will disrupt everything.

          2. Stella70*

            I have had some high-stress jobs (911 dispatcher, to name one) and I still think that working fast food has to be one of the most difficult careers out there. The skills trifecta of speed, accuracy, and professionalism are paramount, only to be rewarded with below-average earnings and an often rude public which needs their nuggets NOW, lest their cholesterol dip into the healthy range. (I am among their numbers; you do not want to be in front of me when I have cheeseburgers on the brain.)

          3. Rhiannon*

            Good call.

            Standing upright for hours and hours on greasy, slippery floors around uncovered hot oil vats isn’t something to sneer.


          4. AnotherOne*

            I’ve been known to insist that working retail- like fast food- is something everyone should do, since almost every “adult’ job requires some level of customer service experience.

            1. Lil Bee*

              I worked for 3 years as an admin / Office manager at a busy church. My management skills from Burger King and Arby’s helped tremendously.

            2. Tessera Member 42*

              My undergraduate college required all freshmen on Work Study to work in the cafeterias, which had the benefits of not only ensuring they could be fully staffed, but also that the student population was polite and respectful to all the cafeteria workers, students and staff alike.

              1. Picard*

                It should be ALL freshmen, not just work study. Frankly I think everyone should work a year in restaurant/fast food and a year in retail. But thats my little Utopia….

          5. Menace_to_Sobriety*

            This! I can’t tell you the number of high ranking people in my various companies who started out in fast food, especially Mickey Ds where they offer scholarships and school assistance, etc.. and really credit those early jobs with learning a lot. Good honest work is never something to be used as an insult. My nephew doesn’t work fast food, but he does work at a local ranch literally shoveling sh*t. At the end of the day, he doesn’t always smell great, but he’s smiling because he’s making money and it’s good hard labor that doesn’t chain him to a desk and he’s never wanted that. All jobs have value! Even politcians! :)

        2. Stop being such a dick*

          I am thankful for people who make my French fries. because I like friench fries and I have no idea how to make them. I wouldn’t last 5 mins in a fast food kitchen without having a nervous breakdown. it looks like it’s a lot of pressure back there! also…they are dealing with jerks who make fun of them for making french fries without punching them. not.sure I could do the same.

        3. I don't mean to be rude, I'm just good at it*

          I sell food at festivals, events and do corporate and party catering. Although I have a simple concept that does not involve a ton a prep, I have developed a strong skill set.

          Purchasing the best product, sourcing paper goods and other supplies, interacting with promoters for festivals and corporate planners for catering. Interacting with party planners and folks who want us to serve at their events.

          Although this is a second career, I could not have done this as well if I did not have a solid background “flipping burgers” during my younger years.

          Thank you to all who serve me at “fast food joints.”

        4. Nomic*

          Can we please cut him some slack?
          He was a college student. Can we all think for must a moment how naïve we were at 20-21? He’s 35 now. Just like us, he’s a completely different person. Insulting him now is just … mean.

          1. Irish Teacher.*

            I agree. To me, he just sounded young and naive about how the working world worked and how one got the roles one wanted. It’s even possible he is in a role now which has a large “ideas” component.

            1. Aeryn*

              He was 10 years too late for the dot.com boom. If he had graduated in 2001, people would indeed have paid him to sit on a beanbag and “have ideas”. My husband worked in the tech sector at that time, and Nathan Barley was not exaggerated.

              1. Burbonk*

                2001 would have still been too late! I graduated college in 2001 and we entered the workforce by witnessing both the dot-com collapse and 9/11.

          2. Airy*

            I’d like to hear that he’s doing well and has matured enough to be ruefully amused by his past self!

            1. AcademiaNut*

              Yeah – he could be a reasonable guy who looks back on his past self while cringing. Or he could have spent the past ten years being fired from jobs that didn’t appreciate his genius, and be bitter about the fact that no-one appreciates him. Or he could be a crypto bro and involved in Bankman-Fried level scams and facing jail time.

          3. Nebula*

            He also had a profitable business that he was running on the side during his final year of college. Sure he was naïve, but I’m sure he’s doing just fine.

    2. Amy*

      Ohmygosh, yes! That is one of my all-time favorite letters. I would love an update. Ideas Guy, if you’re still out there, please give us an update.

    3. Sara*

      My fan fiction version of Ideas Guy is that he followed a path similar to Elizabeth Holmes and Theranos.

    4. Wilbur*

      Ideas Guy should get a job at McKinsey. From my experience with McKinsey consultants, a lack of relevant industry experience or value added contributions don’t preclude companies paying you big bucks. It has everything IG wants: big meetings, presenting ideas, and he can move on from the business before any of the fallout.

      1. Fluffy Fish*

        Management consulting is fascinating to me. People go from college to working as consultants? How do you consult on things you don’t have experience in? I’m not being flippant – it’s a field I genuinely don’t understand.

        I work in a field where consulting is common but to be a consultant you absolutely have to have experience.

        1. Katara's side braids*

          I also would like to know this! I graduated college with people who went right into consulting, but I was too afraid to ask any of them what exactly it entailed.

        2. Aeryn*

          The graduate scheme trains you in The McKinsey Method. Then you work on different projects, gaining experience in implementing it.

          That is what companies are paying for, rather than sector expertise.

        3. JR 17*

          Ha, this is what my dad said when my first job was as a consultant. Basically, junior consultants do research (including interviewing experts), analyze the research, and make PowerPoint slides. They usually work under senior consultants that have more relevant industry/subject matter expertise.

    1. Goody*

      personal headcanon – Alison is getting a head start because she’s hoping for (expecting?) more responses than in prior rounds and is trying to give herself extra time to go through all of them. ;)

  3. Rhiannon*

    I’ve maintained a long-held curiosity about the person who wrote in on “Why won’t anyone hire me as their visionary”? (Link to follow).

    It’s been 6 years since that was first posted, and I’m wondering how things have worked out for that person.

      1. Selena81*

        That hurts because he does kinda sound like a consultant (with McKinsey or E&Y). They are hired fresh out of college, think they are brilliant, but give very mediocre advice.

        The thing is that these guys get hired because of connections and privilige, and not through Monster.

    1. Science KK*

      I sort of want one but I’m also like if they haven’t written in they probably haven’t changed. Either way I still want to know.

      1. Zeus*

        They may have been embarrassed at the response and didn’t want to come back for the comments to blast them again. Or they realised how out-of-touch their idea was and moved on. It’s been 13 years, that’s a long time in the professional world – I know I’m a completely different person and employee than I was nine years ago when I entered the workforce.

        1. MassMatt*

          I don’t know the stats, but I think Alison has mentioned that a large portion of the site traffic is confined to reading the letters themselves and not the comments, probably especially so back then when the site had a smaller audience.

    2. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      There’s a thread above. We all wondering how the world treated him once they were formally introduced.

            1. 1LFTW*

              Wow. Thanks for linking to that. I hope we get another update after LW and the company’s HR talks to Ross.

    1. Selena81*

      I really hope they’ve taken the advice to heart and gotten of their ‘companies should work like I learned in college’ high horse.

    1. Colorado*

      wait, what?? I’ve been reading this blog since the beginning and I missed this one! How could I have missed this?

    2. A Poster Has No Name*

      If we can only get one update for Christmas, I hope it’s this one.

      (But thankfully we’ll get lots!)

    3. Where Wolf?*

      Oh man, yes to this one! Especially since it became a real debate in the comments whether the father had a right to know about his child.

    4. Prexit*

      Me: [chanting] secret child, secret child-

      Other commenters: secret child, SECRET CHILD

      Alison: [pounding her desk] SECRET CHILD, SECRET CHILD, SECRET CHILD!

    5. François Caron*

      Wow! No signs of malice here judging from the tone of the letter, but how do you reconcile such a matter?

  4. haunted pencil*

    I really want that manager who refused to acknowledge her employee’s birthday because it was on 29 february/leap year to write in and admit that she was a jerk and has seen the light!!

    1. Single Parent Barbie*

      Or the manager who felt her employee was “unprofessional” because she quit her job so she could go to her own graduation when the way things were set up made it impossible for employee to get coverage.

      Or the one who felt her employee was unprofessional because her paycheck had been screwed up for weeks and she expected to get paid.

      I feel like these three managers are friends. Or frenemies.

        1. MikeM_inMD*

          I am so glad I was not reading this site when the original story posted. You would have seen a side of me that I try to show in real life or on the web.

      1. Iron Chef Boyardee*

        Was it this manager, or the “I won’t let you go to your graduation” manager, who wrote a follow-up letter to Alison essentially trying to justify why they were right in doing what they did?

    2. La Triviata*

      Gilbert and Sullivan’s “Pirates of Penzance” (I think) has a plot point that hinges on a February 29 birthday.

    3. Silver Robin*

      It feels extra appropriate seeing as we are coming up on a leap year! Or maybe if Alison does get one, she will save it for Feb 29th.

    4. anonymous was already taken*

      I came here to ask this as well. I totally want an update on this!!! Pleeeeaaassseeeee…. especially with the new year bringing another 29 February for us

  5. Colorado*

    Every time I see anything related to updates, my head immediately start singing.. “it’s the most wonderful time of the year!”

    1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      Same. And I begin every year swearing I’ll make a list of updates I’ll want. Every year I end up thinking, “Oh, I’ll remember THAT,” and every year, by update time, my head explodes with, “wait,
      remember the company with mandatory llama dung readings to determine personality types and nobody was upset until they hired someone allergic to llamas and her manager framed her for embezzlement to get her fired so that they could hire her cousin who has a baby with the comptroller but doesn’t know because he was living with someone else for three years then moved to another country with no forwarding address, but the company messed up his paperwork and he had to pay all kinds of money and was nearly deported and they wanted to fire him but they couldn’t because the owner has a “no firing” policy so even though the intern replies to everything with “yo mama” and the IT guy urinates in his pants at his desk, they are safe, although one woman quit because the boss asked her fudge numbers on audit forms, so they hired another woman whose partner emailed the boss describing how the boss was infringing on his relationship but the boss didn’t worry about it because he knew from experience this partner would just write in again to resign for her so just wait it out like he did when he ordered from a small internet company, at least until it closed because the owner hired someone with a clearly perverse agenda who inserted herself into the owner’s life, loaning her a car, listening to her woes and then destroying the reputation and stealing the job of the long term employee who was hopefully hired by the owner’s brother in law because he knew a good employee when he saw one and he’d seen one but not as good as the one hired by a woman. This guy came with the highest recommendation from her very good professional contact. She wouldn’t lie to get rid of a guy who turned from super employee to an actual threat in three months, oh wait, she did. Because lying is ok. Well, not OK, but you did it and you got the job and now, five years in you wonder if you should spill the beans to your current company but you can’t because they told an out of state university that they’d provide transportation to any interns they hired and you are the person they picked to drive the person back and forth even though it’s 25 minutes out of your way but you do because you remember your last company with the woman who’d started as an intern then full time for the last 10 years who made the lives miserable for anyone who didn’t picked up her and and her child, take the child to daycare and then take her to the office. Even on your day off which you aren’t allowed to take if it for the purpose of going to a video game tournament. You can have the day off for your wedding, but the boss with show up. You can have the day off for the funeral, but the boss will leave papers on the grave. And you can have time off for chemo but the boss will show up , or he will have his assistant ping you at ten minute intervals, especially when you are working from home. She may also give you messages claiming to be from the CEO, but there’s never any verification that the head of the company thinks you should take off your rain boots before you get a cup of coffee and I am going to stop because if I get into the coffee letters, the internet will take my keyboard away.
      So next year, I’m gonna keep a list.

      1. Wow, really?*

        That is some site dedication right there!!! (Standing ovation, but also, I am sad there’s no cheap-@$$ rolls)

      2. darcy_va*

        I adore this. I feel it too, but I could never have said it so eloquently. I shall begin making notes tomorrow!

    2. SarahKay*

      And after reading that, for the last two hours my brain has been singing “it’s the most wonderful time of the year” at me.

  6. periwinkle*

    A couple updates I’d love to read..

    The person with a ton of unsubmitted business expenses (please tell us you got reimbursed!): https://www.askamanager.org/2023/09/i-have-10000-in-unsubmitted-business-expenses-salad-dressing-conundrum-and-more.html (first letter)

    The coworker with a brain full of bees: https://www.askamanager.org/2023/09/my-coworker-keeps-giving-me-psychic-messages-from-my-dead-family-members.html

    The manager not knowing how to protect their gay employee from a work culture full of homophobic bees: https://www.askamanager.org/2023/04/i-manage-a-gay-employee-and-our-company-is-homophobic.html

    And finally, the Bee Family: https://www.askamanager.org/2023/02/my-bosss-horrible-kids-are-trying-to-destroy-us.html

      1. Nameless*

        OOOH I’d forgotten about #3 (protecting the gay employee.) Would love an update on that one (especially if Darren managed to escape.)

  7. ecnaseener*

    1. AAM update wishlist
    2. https://www.askamanager.org/2018/11/my-boss-drunk-dialed-my-husband-and-more-questions.html #1
    3. https://www.askamanager.org/2018/01/employee-sent-out-photos-of-a-coworkers-stoma-bag-what-should-i-do.html
    4. https://www.askamanager.org/2020/06/my-husband-is-my-boss-and-were-getting-divorced.html — as of the last update she’s still at that job, has she gotten out yet?
    5. https://www.askamanager.org/2022/08/my-coworker-posts-love-notes-from-their-partner-all-over-our-shared-office.html
    6. https://www.askamanager.org/2020/10/my-dysfunctional-office-only-hires-young-people-because-were-blank-slates.html
    7. https://www.askamanager.org/2016/06/should-i-go-to-law-school-if-i-dont-want-to-practice-law.html
    8. https://www.askamanager.org/2019/11/coworkers-say-we-shouldnt-attend-a-work-party-i-feel-insulted-by-my-new-job-and-more.html — not cheap-ass rolls, just #1 about the party!
    9. https://www.askamanager.org/2016/09/my-boss-wants-a-timeline-for-me-leaving-and-i-havent-even-given-notice.html
    10. https://www.askamanager.org/2016/11/my-coworker-overheard-me-trash-talking-her.html
    11. https://www.askamanager.org/2020/08/my-company-is-incredibly-weird-when-people-resign.html
    12. https://www.askamanager.org/2017/08/my-coworker-wants-to-pull-me-into-her-counteroffer-boss-is-going-to-trash-talk-me-when-i-leave-and-more.html #1
    13. https://www.askamanager.org/2020/10/my-coworker-yells-and-is-disruptive.html
    14. https://www.askamanager.org/2018/08/should-i-ask-for-a-pay-cut-if-my-work-isnt-very-good.html
    15. https://www.askamanager.org/2017/09/did-my-intern-frame-my-coworker-for-credit-card-theft.html
    16. https://www.askamanager.org/2020/07/my-company-has-strict-language-protocols-and-my-coworker-wont-follow-them.html
    17. https://www.askamanager.org/2019/02/my-boss-pet-sit-my-animals-and-nearly-killed-them.html
    18. https://www.askamanager.org/2022/08/my-company-wants-us-to-sign-a-loyalty-oath.html unless of course LW signed the oath and is prohibited from telling us anything “disloyal” :/
    19. https://www.askamanager.org/2017/06/im-embarrassed-about-the-mistakes-i-made-in-my-internship.html
    20. https://www.askamanager.org/2020/02/my-employee-lied-about-meeting-with-a-client-to-take-a-nap.html — this was right before COVID so I’m super curious whether this employee was trusted with WFH and how that turned out!

      1. ferrina*

        I don’t know whether I’m horrified or inspired! You are a force to be reckoned with!

        I definitely want updates on #4, 16 and 14. I’m really curious if 14 was imposter syndrome, or if there actually was something going on there. Either way, I feel for OP!

      1. Observer*

        #3 (employee shared pics of co-worker’s stoma bag) has been on my list for a while.

        Yeah, but that LW dropped in to the comments to say that they were never coming back – not to respond to comments and not to give an update. People were deeply shocked, and a few were very harsh to them. And given how many shocked comments there were, I can see why they would feel like people were piling on to them.

        Although, one comment that someone made really resonates – that truly unreachable bosses will probably never be a problem at that company again.

    1. Stella70*

      “The spices in your kitchen are in alphabetical order, aren’t they?”
      *she says, bitterly*

      Just teasing! You’re impressive as hell.

      1. ecnaseener*

        LOL not even close! This is after a couple years of “aw man, update season again, wish I had kept a list!” It’s not organized any particular way, I copy links into the notes app. If I didn’t spend so much time going down AAM rabbit holes, maybe my kitchen would be tidy…..probably not though.

    2. Random Dice*

      I forgot about the stoma bag. That one had “I murdered his cat and then him” all over it. Genuinely made me shiver in fear.

      The loyalty oath, yes!

      What about the “Call my boyfriend Master, please” letter?

      1. Observer*

        What about the “Call my boyfriend Master, please” letter?

        There was an update- she wound up leaving.

      2. Engineer*

        That one got an update a few months later, iirc. OP tried to explain why it was inappropriate, coworker doubled down and insisted it oppression on par with LGBTQIA rights, and ended up quitting. OP gathered there was a sense of “freak the normies” going on.

    3. Random Dice*

      #16 was so weird! People just adapt to even the most bizarre work cultures and start to think it’s reasonable to be pissed at someone for being imprecise about toner. :D

  8. Hills to Die on*

    My annual comment that I will never give up hope about hearing what happened with Liver Donation (or you’re fired!) Boss.

    1. Irish Teacher.*

      This is random but an Irish soap recently had a storyline like Liver Boss’s. Admittedly, not as bad as the character wasn’t threatening to fire their employees (though I’m a bit surprised), just stopping people in the street to ask them their bloodtypes to see if they were possible matches for the character’s mother who needed a kidney. There was a hilarious line where the character was telling his mother he had a plan for her treatment and she was like, “please tell me it doesn’t involve asking our friends or neighbours for body parts.”

      I now hope liver boss’s brother told him, “please tell me you’re not asking your employees for body parts.”

      (The character then started harrassing somebody who was a match but declined to donate, so…not much better than liver boss.)

    1. ferrina*

      That would be interesting. Did he escalate, or was this a one-time thing? Was it genuinely a weirdly literal interpretation?

  9. ENFP in Texas*

    Was there ever an update on Tom who was lying about Arthur sexual harassing him in order to get Arthur fired? That’s one that I really would love to see an update on. I really hope Tom got what he deserved.

    1. Black cat lady*

      Yes please!!! I’d love to know what happened. I think every comment recommended running to HR and protecting Arthur. Hope that is what happened and Tom is now looking for work.

    2. Hlao-roo*

      No update so far. The letter writer commented as “OP Here” and said she was going to talk to HR.

      The letter is “my coworker lied about sexual harassment because he doesn’t like our new boss” from September 13, 2023.

    3. Curtis E. Interview*

      Yes, this one please! I hope that Tom has not only been fired but also has been legally mandated to wear a sandwich board at all times that makes it clear to everyone what he did. Yes, even in bed.

  10. Irish Teacher.*

    Oh, I can’t believe it’s this time of year again.

    Now to try and remember the ones I wanted updates on!

    Dwight, the doctor who wanted his boss to be “friendlier” when telling him not to put patients’ lives at risk, but to phrase that as “friendly advice he could ignore”: https://www.askamanager.org/2023/05/i-was-asked-to-be-friendlier-when-giving-feedback-about-serious-safety-issues.html

    On the same general theme, the clinician who was refusing to work with certain types of patient and told their boss they were harrassing them when their boss told them to do it: https://www.askamanager.org/2023/10/my-employee-is-disrespectful-of-patients-refused-an-assignment-and-told-us-nice-try-though.html

    The person who didn’t use the term “internal customers” in their business degree: https://www.askamanager.org/2023/10/i-sounded-like-a-know-it-all-in-front-of-my-boss-seeking-more-lucrative-offers-when-i-dont-want-to-leave-and-more.html#comments

    The hiring manager who hated women’s colleges: https://www.askamanager.org/2022/10/im-biased-against-people-who-went-to-womens-colleges.html

    The person who bit a coworker: https://www.askamanager.org/2023/03/i-bit-my-coworker-2.html

    I know they gave an update but it was a reasonably short time after the original post. I’d like to know what has happened since and I hope they have moved on from that place.

    The person whose coworker made a false allegation against their boss: https://www.askamanager.org/2023/09/my-coworker-lied-about-sexual-harassment-because-he-doesnt-like-our-new-boss.html

    1. Hlao-roo*

      Seconding the manager who hated women’s colleges and another update from the person who bit a coworker! I’d be very interested to read both of those updates.

    2. Rachel 2: Electric Boogaloo*

      Seconding the second one about the terrible clinician. I hope the update is that he was fired.

    3. ferrina*

      I’d also love an update from the person that bit a coworker. They sent an update, but that was from some years ago. I’d love to know if they ever made it out, or if it’s still business as normal in that place.

    4. Salted caramel*

      The first two! I was thinking about them just now! I hope they both got fired/dismissed.

      Also, (this is very recent), the lady that got called by her manager because ”someone” thought she was dressing unprofessionally no matter what. Just her. Even when other people wore the same or more casual.

      And from the gym owner who was annoyed that his employee was coming close to getting sexually harassed and she (the employee) was willing to give up working hours so that the client wouldn’t get all frosty and would keep on coming to that gym.

    1. Pastor Petty Labelle*

      Seconding this. You might find it boring, but the rest of us just like to have a check in to see how you are doing.
      Even if the update is nothing change I got a new job, just coping. We WANT TO KNOW. We care.

      (this is the most supportive commentariat I have ever seen).

        1. Sago Leaf*

          Fourth!! Came looking just for this one. I think about this post way more often than I should.

    1. Billy*

      I was checking the comments to see if anyone had mentioned that post. It is a source of endless fascination for me and I must know what he was doing

  11. Hlao-roo*

    1. “my husband can’t work because of his boss’s chemo” from June 26, 2017 (there was an update on December 28, 2017 but I would be interested in another update)

    2. “my coworkers have a crush on my boss … and are taking it out on me” from March 18, 2020

    3. “my employee wasn’t respectful enough after the company messed up her paycheck” from October 19, 2021

    4. “our highly-paid, overworked junior staff keep leaving just as we get them fully trained” from October 26, 2021

    5. “my office wants my pronouns — but I’m still figuring it out” from June 23, 2021

    6. “I accidentally started a rumor about a coworker” from September 6, 2022

    Links in reply to this comment.

    1. Hlao-roo*

      1. https://www.askamanager.org/2017/06/my-husband-cant-work-because-of-his-bosss-chemo.html

      And update: https://www.askamanager.org/2017/12/update-my-husband-cant-work-because-of-his-bosss-chemo.html

      2. https://www.askamanager.org/2020/03/my-coworkers-have-a-crush-on-my-boss-and-are-taking-it-out-on-me.html

      3. https://www.askamanager.org/2021/10/my-employee-wasnt-respectful-enough-after-the-company-messed-up-her-paycheck.html

      4. https://www.askamanager.org/2021/10/our-highly-paid-overworked-junior-staff-keep-leaving-just-as-we-get-them-fully-trained.html

      5. https://www.askamanager.org/2021/06/my-office-wants-my-pronouns-but-im-still-figuring-it-out.html

      6. https://www.askamanager.org/2022/09/i-accidentally-started-a-rumor-about-a-coworker.html

    2. Pastor Petty Labelle*

      Definintely I would love to hear from the paycheck one. That one went viral. I hope the boss paid attention to what Alison said. But sadly she probably falls into the same category as Leap Day Birthday Boss.

      It would be cool if the paycheck recipient wrote in with their side of things. Including what working for that boss is like.

    3. Salted caramel*

      Oh, I had forgotten about the ”keeper of his zipper”! I really want an update to this one, here’s hoping that these gross people… stopped being gross and taking it out on the OP.

      Number 3 is a lost cause, a person that entitled and delusional is not going to change. ”How is it our fault if she cannot pay her bills because we didn’t pay her”, oh, that one made me rage. Lucky I didn’t read it when it was first published.

      1. Mallory Janis Ian*

        I remember when I read “the keeper of his zipper”, my eyebrows flew directly off my head! Like, seriously, what a shocking thing to say OUT LOUD in the office!

  12. Cookie Monster*

    Did we ever get an update about the employee who lied about a co-worker embezzeling money so she could talk to the police about her abusive partner?

    The coworker who set his shared calendar to Arabic so his peers couldn’t read it (he did other terrible things too).

    The reference who lied about how great her employee was to get rid of them, and lied about how awful her rock star employee was so she could keep them.

    The employees who had a crush on their HR director and took it out on his assistant (calling her “the keeper of his zipper”).

    The LW who was interrupted by her male coworker for EIGHT YEARS and was wondering how to handle it.

    1. Hlao-roo*

      No update from the “my employee set up a false fraud investigation … because she was being abused and wanted the police” letter as of now.

      1. Agnes Montague*

        Every year I hope for an update to this one. I don’t think we’re ever going to get one though.

    2. Mrs. Pommeroy*

      I think I did read an update somewhere for the employee who lied about a co-worker embezzeling money but I also was on a real aam splurge at the time, so I may be misremembering.

      The coworker setting the shared calendar to Arabic is completely new to me, though! Off to reading that one!

  13. Antilles*

    -I still want an update on Halloween Town.
    -The “unpaid intern” making $42k. Did we ever figure out what was going on with this super shady setup?
    -Leap Year Boss: I wonder if a half decade plus later, they’ve realized just how odd it is to not just give her a cake on March 1st in years where there is no February 29th.

    1. Where Wolf?*

      I was just thinking about the Halloween Town email with it being the Halloween season. Would love to hear about that one.

    2. Golden*

      I just went back to read Halloween Town again. I still want to know if it was OP making the official complaints about the owners or if they were from the community/other employees!

      1. Irish Teacher.*

        I want to know too. I assumed they were from clients, but I can see the other possibilities too.

    3. Resident Catholicville, U.S.A.*

      I got told off for wanting an update to Halloween Town the last time this came up, but man, I’m so freaking curious about that whole situation.

  14. Gender Menace*

    I’ve been dying for further updates from the person who found out their CEO was their half brother, who then tried to fire them. (also my vote for Worst Boss of the Year)

    1. Brain the Brian*

      I, too, would like an update to this one — especially in light of the recent news articles about 23&Me accounts being compromised.

  15. Funkywizaard*

    The person who didn’t get a job because they were a Bully in high school.

    The person who worked in HR and had a flirtatious relationship with Andre, an 18 year old student employee.

    1. Not A Manager*

      I feel like we did get an update to the bully one, and it was sort of tragic? Or maybe all of that happened in the OP.

        1. Belle of the Midwest*

          That one has stayed with me. It’s been six years and I would love to know if the person has found a way to move on.

          1. Peanut Hamper*

            This. It seemed like things really spiralled out of control for them. I wonder about them sometimes. I do hope they are doing okay.

          2. Observer*

            It’s been six years and I would love to know if the person has found a way to move on.

            Yeah. She didn’t sound that nice. But I felt bad for her. She really was having a hard time.

          3. ferrina*

            Agree. That last update was awful- I felt so bad for OP and so bad for Rock Star. If Rock Star was posting messages including National Hotline info, it seems like high school was more than bad for her. And OP either couldn’t remember or wouldn’t say what it was.

            But I do hope OP found a way to come out of that with more grace and understanding, and was able to start over again with a good job and more wisdom.

          4. Josame*

            Same. The whole story was so tragic. I think of this person often and hope they are in a better place.

        2. Michelle Smith*

          That is a tragic update. It would still be nice to hear from them to see what they decided to do next and whether they managed to get back on their feet in a different field/turn things around personally and improve themselves. I hope over the past 6 years they’ve been able to grow from those experiences (not that they were all her fault – obviously I’m not blaming them for being cheated on or anything like that!!).

      1. Where Wolf?*


        Yes, there was an update that the OP moved away for a job they hated, found their partner cheating on them, lost the job they hated because they no-showed for days while staying in bed depressed, moved back into their parents’ house, got drunk at a birthday dinner and ran into the Rock Star they bullied and screamed at them, and was told by the employer they wanted to get in with where Rock Star worked that they were blacklisted from their company and likely the industry entirely. And they blamed Rock Star for all of that.

        1. Belle of the Midwest*

          I remember that update.. What I would love is an update now, six years after that last one.

  16. Ardis Paramount*

    Did we ever hear the update from the “Worst Boss of the Year” who stole the iron caboose figurine from the letter writer and then re-gifted it?

  17. Alice Watson*

    Update I was looking for recently, from 2019 …. My boss wants us to disclose all medications we take both prescription and OTC.

    Advice was to point out the ADA and privacy laws this could violate but was there ever an update if the boss backed off or not?

  18. Cruciatus*

    If anyone out there hesitates to write in an update because their letter wasn’t as “interesting” as others, please do! I want all the updates. Even if you wrote in because your coworker wouldn’t stop clicking their pen–I’m down to know what happened after that.

    1. Irish Teacher.*

      And honestly, sometimes the more “mundane” ones end up with the most interesting updates, like “well, it turned out my pen-clicking coworker was actually using it to communicate in morse code to a co-conspirator with whom he was planning to embezzle the company.”

      But yeah, even if the update is, “I talked to my coworker and he said he did it without thinking and didn’t even realise he was doing it and that he’d stop using a pen that could be clicked and now peace reigns in our office,” we’d still like to hear it.

      1. Silver Robin*

        Exactly! Because then we at least get confirmation/reaffirmation that these smaller nuisances can be easily resolved. The scripts work!

      2. Constance Lloyd*

        The dramatic updates are interesting as a reader. The mundane, straightforward answers with a simple solution are reassuring and useful as a human who interacts with the world at large. I like them all.

    2. ferrina*

      Yes! Even if the update is super boring- “I talked to them and they sort of stopped?”

      I love hearing about what people tried and what happened, and I feel like it helps me learn more about the wide spectrum of workplaces and coworkers (even boring data is useful data!)

      1. The Prettiest Curse*

        I think sometimes people hesitate to write in with updates if they aren’t something like “my jerkish colleague got dramatically fired and frogmarched out by security.” But updates in which the jerkish colleague was less of a jerk once they were called out – or better still, grew up and stopped being a jerk entirely – are just as interesting and useful, because they show that people CAN modify their behaviour.

    3. Sloanicota*

      So often the update is “it turns out it didn’t matter because I (or the other person) left that job” – which is also good to remember! Some of the things that seem huge are, in retrospect, just one of the many ups and downs in a long career.

  19. College Career Counselor*

    I’d love to hear from Vaca (https://www.askamanager.org/2021/10/our-highly-paid-overworked-junior-staff-keep-leaving-just-as-we-get-them-fully-trained.html), who was dismayed that their “highly paid overworked” junior employees were quitting just as they were getting up to speed. I’d love to hear if the culture improved (doubtful), if Vaca left/opened their own shop, or if Vaca figured out another way forward to keep junior employees from burning out/leaving.

    There was a ton of commentary on that one, and I’ve always wondered what the outcome was.

  20. Cheesehead*

    I’ve wanted an update to this one for a long time: https://www.askamanager.org/2020/09/manager-photographed-accidental-exposure-auto-replies-saying-your-email-wont-be-read-and-more.html

    #1 at the link: employee’s blouse slipped during a meeting and you could see a bit more of her breast than was intended. Instead of just alerting the employee as any decent human being would, the employee’s MANAGER took a picture of it, PRINTED several copies (just…why??), distributed them to other managers in a meeting and then chastised the employee for it.

    1. Mister_L*

      There was an update to CE-bro, it was wild.
      I think short of the company asking the LW to come back any further update would be more of a life update.

  21. Just Another Zebra*

    It’s a more obscure one, but I’d love to hear from the LW trying to get a writing job and it wasn’t going well. She was pretty engaged in the comments, but it got a bit ugly.

    In no particular order:
    Overworked junior staff leaving once they’re trained
    The LW angry an employee stood up for themselves when their pay was wrong
    The office with rules to accommodate an employee with OCD
    LW with the employee who stole a jacket from an intern (but was otherwise a good person!)
    LW who has a secret baby with their new boss

    But really… I just love this time of year

    1. Hlao-roo*

      Do you have the link to the LW trying to get a writing job? Or remember the title of the post? It sounds familiar to me, but the closest I could find when I searched was “how do you get experience if all the jobs require you to already have experience?” from 2016 (that letter writer was looking for a technical writing job and updated a few months later to say they got an offer).

  22. Kay*

    I’d like an update to: Someone I’ve known for years lied to get me to hire someone terrible she wanted to get rid of.

    Link to follow in a reply

  23. ferrina*

    I want an update on the employee that lied about things they just said:
    I’ve worked with someone like this, and I’m so curious about whether OP had more success than I did!

    Another update I want is #1 from this page, the employee that called out sick after feedback. I’ve worked with someone similar: https://www.askamanager.org/2023/08/employee-always-calls-out-sick-after-feedback-company-doesnt-give-much-notice-to-come-into-the-office-and-more.html

    And finally, the new hire who was supposed to fire their husband’s ex-wife. Because that sounds terrifying: https://www.askamanager.org/2018/12/im-supposed-to-fire-my-husbands-ex-wife.html

    1. LimeRoos*

      There was an update on the new hire firing husbands ex wife! The company handled it well and did it before she even onboarded so there was no weirdness. Definitely was a good update.

      1. Hlao-roo*

        Looks like the letter writer updated in the comments, under the commenting name “WifeAVP” for anyone looking for this update.

  24. ElinorD*

    Sings: “it’s the most wonderful time of the year!”

    Update season!

    *insert Kermit the frog cheering gif*

  25. Katara's side braids*

    I haven’t been able to stop thinking about “my coworker keeps saying he’s my boss … he’s not” (August 16, 2023). I’m really hoping things turned out okay.

    Also “How do I deal with a painfully slow talker?” (July 11, 2023) – was her son able to get the services he needed?

  26. goddessoftransitory*

    Seeing The Bat in the Office Popcorn Machine’s handle reminds me: I really want an update on that horror show of an “office!”

    1. Mister_L*

      Do you mean the one with the desolate building and the nesting bats (and the wannabe tough guy ex military boss) or “I can’t escape Halloween town”?

  27. Callie*

    I know it was only two days ago BUT would love an update about Ross, the clinician who described patients as “scary” and “gross” and who said “nice try though” when he was scheduled for a patient visit in a rural area!
    Btw I hate Ross.

    1. River*

      Yes! I am glad you also want to see an update on clinician, Ross! I will be flabbergasted if the update doesn’t mention anything in that he got terminated. Still makes me uneasy knowing there’s people in the medical field that don’t treat patients with the highest priority.

  28. WoodswomanWrites*

    I would love an update from the person who was working a gazillion hours a week in the financial services field and trying to figure out next steps for their life. There were more than 1,000 comments on that one. I think it was from 2022.

  29. Unkempt Flatware*

    The one where the young woman called her boss’s daughter a whore, doubled down with some bigoted references to homosexuality in the bible, then told us she was no longer Christian and had had daughters of her own. It was all so quick and reactionary and I’d love to hear how she is doing today.

    1. Part time lab tech*

      I’m sure there was an update on that one and she’d matured and realised she’d carried over toxic beliefs from the religion she’d been raised in.

    2. Esmae*

      Seconded! Her last update sounded like she was headed down a much better path, I’d love to hear how things have gone for her. Hopefully well.

    3. The Prettiest Curse*

      That’s one of the AAM letters I think about the most. I know that letter writer got very heavily criticised in the original comments, so I was impressed she wrote in with an update. I wasn’t commenting back then, but even though she said something truly awful, I just felt bad for her that she’d been so indoctrinated, and happy that she eventually got out of that religion.

  30. TalksAboutRunningTooMuch*

    What about Craig the mansplainer? I want to hear whether they successfully shut him down, or is he still blissfully unaware that he is an ass?

  31. Victoria Everglot*

    I’d like to know about the one with the coworker who was having scary memory issues. I hope someone managed to tell her family and that she’s getting help now.

  32. Where’s the Orchestra?*

    Would love to hear back again from “Intent to Flounce” now that he’s been gone for a while. Did he leave quietly or did he sabotage women on his way out the door? And did that Title IX office that wouldn’t let staff file reports based off of what they were seeing him do ever remove their head from another part of their anatomy?

  33. Sara M*

    Current health of the person who had a stomach tumor, and then was harassed by a coworker about assumed lapband surgery. I saw the update about a good resolution at work; I just want to know if the letter writer will be ok. <3

  34. Anxious Bee*

    Oooh so many
    https://www.askamanager.org/2023/06/im-in-trouble-for-being-a-few-minutes-late-weighing-my-food-at-a-business-lunch-and-more.html (#1)

    1. WoodswomanWrites*

      Yes, I’d love to hear what happened with that one, too! Losing a family heirloom to theft at your workplace is just horrible and I hope they got it back.

  35. the cat's ass*

    The guy whose boss wanted him and a few other employees to do a porno. That was…really something.

    1. Mrs. Pommeroy*

      I beg your pardon?!? I have not yet stumbled over that one – do you happen to have a link?
      (the search function barely ever works for me on this site and I’d rather not put the word “p0rn” in there…)

      1. Hlao-roo*

        The title is “my boss offered me money to film a sex tape with two coworkers” from March 23, 2021.

        1. Mrs. Pommeroy*

          Thank you, I found it! I somewhat wish I hadn’t because the described situation was worse than I had expected and some commenters were much too cavalier about it all.
          But goodness gracious would I like an update from the LW of that – with hopefully good news of having been able to extract himself from the company and having found a different employer. Here’s to hoping!

  36. Ms.Vader*

    Ohh I hope we get an update on the recent letter about the guy that just refused to do rural clients and says “nice try” to their boss. And I hope it’s a “he’s gone!” Update

  37. Esmae*

    I’d love a newer update on “employee doesn’t want to use a name for themselves.” Did they ever find something they felt comfortable answering to?

  38. The OG Sleepless*

    I want to know what happened with the person who stole the intern’s jacket! The police were investigating, so surely there was some kind of ending.

  39. LittleMouseWithClogsOn*

    I’d love an update from the person whose ex-boss threatened to contact their husband, his coworkers, and their father-in-law if they didn’t return $48 of office supplies. Did the ex-boss get in trouble? Did the incompetent HR person get in trouble? Did the OP have to send back the remaining pens? I must know!!

  40. Lady Knittington*

    The one I want to see (which I don’t think has been updated) is the middle-ish aged HR lady who kept making risqué comments to a 19 year old lad who was in his first job. (Him slamming the drawer on the photocopier and her saying ‘I hope you don’t do that to your girlfriend’ was one example).

    Other people told her that her behaviour was problematic; she disagreed and said it was all fine.

  41. EvilQueenRegina*


    The randomly delivered TV: https://www.askamanager.org/2023/02/hairy-legs-at-work-my-office-sent-me-a-random-tv-and-more.html







  42. Festively Dressed Earl*

    I’d like to hear from the LW who was about to have a violent jackwagon in her training class. I really hope he was shown the door before that class ever got started.

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