send in your updates!

This is a reminder to send in your updates if you haven’t already!

Every December, I publish a slew of “where are they now” updates from people whose questions I answered here in the past.

If you’ve had your question answered here in the past, please email me an update and let us know how your situation turned out. Did you take the advice? Did you not take the advice? What happened? How’s your situation now?  (Don’t post your updates here though; email them to me.)

Your update doesn’t have to be positive or big to be worth submitting. We want to hear them all, even if you don’t think yours is that interesting.

{ 69 comments… read them below }

    1. Eskarina*

      Yes, I almost wish these updates were a January thing, because come next year, I’m coming off the holiday cheer and the extra AAM updates at the same time!

  1. carlottamousse*

    I know sometimes you also ask readers to make any requests for specific updates we’d like in case you can reach out to those people, and I’d like to request an update from LW1 from the adoptive parent comment earlier this week where the manager wanted to do a three-way phone call with her and “Sue.” It’s never too soon for an update!

  2. Cassidy*

    Given that we are in the season of giving thanks, I so look forward to the coworker/boss-was-a-real-jerk-to-me-but-I-came-out-the-winner-and-now-make-twice-the-money-with-half-the-commute updates.

    1. oranges & lemons*

      Yes! I also think it would be nice to have a “best boss or coworker of the year” award, since I’m in need of some positivity this year. But I don’t know if that would be a logistic pain.

  3. Undine*

    I just wanted to second Alison’s comment that an update doesn’t need to be earth-shattering to be appreciated. For most of us, things don’t get completely resolved, bosses don’t get their come-uppance, and we don’t spell out our resignation in cod. It’s great to hear from the ordinary and mundane too!

    1. Willis*

      Yes! Also, sometimes the problems seem so big and then in the updates turn out to be nothing or resolve themselves without much issue. It’s a good reminder that sometimes the things that loom so large in your mind aren’t as daunting as they seem.

    2. Lucette Kensack*

      I agree! I prefer these kinds of updates; I can learn from them. The blaze-of-glory, doubled-my-salary, boss-went-to-jail updates can be fun, but they aren’t as useful.

  4. Mx*

    I know it’s old, but I would like an update from the LW whose coworker was denied an ambulance from the boss after she seriously injured her head. Hope there was consequences for this boss.

    1. dogmom*

      Speaking of workplace injuries, this one is also old but I wish we could get another update on the lady whose bird-phobic coworker pushed her into a car. Did she ever end up suing? Is the bird-phobe still at the company? I know there were already a couple updates but I need to know!

  5. MLH*

    I want to hear from the one whose employee kept deadnaming a coworker out of “respect for his mother”

  6. Skeezix83*

    I’d like to hear from the manager who had the employee that kept breaking furniture and refused to select an appropriate weight-bearing chair. Weight can be such a sensitive topic, and I feel that the LW was given some good advice in how to be firm yet empathetic in dealing with this sensitive matter.

  7. Zephy*

    I wonder how the LW with the bird phobia is doing now. That was the letter that brought me to the site originally, years ago.

    1. Zephy*

      Correction: I just searched up the letter again and the LW wasn’t the one with the phobia, it was one of her direct reports, called Jack in the letter. I hope he’s well.

      1. Yvette*

        I hope the person he shoved into the path of an oncoming car and had to go to the hospital is OK. She was severely injured, repeatedly called, to the point of harassment, not to see if she was ok, but about returning to work. There were a few updates, you can find them if you search ‘bird phobia’.

        1. Mainly Lurking (UK)*

          Yes, that poor employee, it got to the stage that she didn’t even claim compensation for her expensive hospital treatment, because she couldn’t bear any more contact with her employer. I hope she is doing well now.

    2. dogmom*

      Oh I replied about this to another comment upthread before seeing your comment! I’d definitely like an update on that one too.

  8. Totally Not My Normal Name*

    Reiterating the above with “any update, even if mundane, is appreciated”! I like to know people are ok even if things didn’t magically all fall the correct way and vengeance was delivered.

    My list, sorted by type :


    – The reference that may have lied so they could hire a candidate

    – The cut-throat manager who lied to get rid of someone they didn’t want

    – My boss is being investigated by HR—what happened with the boss’ attempt to hunt down who reported him?

    Bad things:

    – The vaccination forger. I think this may have had an update, but I don’t remember if everything wrapped up….

    – The suspicious unpaid intern:

    Tricky boss things:

    – The group that drove off anyone replacing the coworker who died:

    – I have to fire my ex-husband’s wife. She updated in the comments but I hope everything went well!:

    1. tyrannosaurus vex*

      Ooh, I’m interested about the dead coworker’s team as well. I think about that letter all the time.

      1. Elizabeth West*

        There was a clarification in the comments about the team structure, but I don’t think OP ever came back and told us what happened.

  9. Totally Not My Normal Name*

    Part 2! :)

    Generally bad boss/company behavior:

    – Boss is trying to find out who wrote anonymous sexism report

    – Gave a counter offer, then added strings after it was accepted:

    Bad coworkers:

    – The rude replacement:
    With the update here:
    Hoping for another update, if the OP has it.

    – My coworker is trying to get me transferred so his girlfriend can have my job:

    – My coworker told a candidate’s current employer he’s job-searching:

    – My coworker exploded when I let our boss know about his major mistake:

  10. Totally Not My Normal Name*

    Last piece:

    A conversation is needed:

    – Boss chat message that I wasn’t supposed to see:

    – Company wants injured employee to pay for cruise:

    – My employee is acting like a manager even though I’ve told him to stop:

    Personal growth:

    – The drunken holiday partier–hope she’s still doing well!

    Reported sexist team to HR and now the investigation is much bigger than I wanted:

    The “I hope you have a fabulous job now” club:

    – The “you need to arrive on time” boss even when the employee was working a crazy amount of hours:

    – The employee nickeled and dimed on vacation after working 20 days in a row:

    – The $90 fine for being late:

    Thanks for update season, Alison!

    1. They Don’t Make Sunday*

      Excellent suggestions, so many that I forgot about. Also, you’re really organized. :)

      1. Totally Not My Normal Name*

        Haha! The first update season caught me by surprise. After that I made a folder in my bookmarks just for this. :D

  11. AirKule Prott*

    An update from the woman whose employer told her to wear a prosthetic and then started making her life miserable; I hope she got out of there and was awarded a huge sum of money and the people involved were fired.
    Also the woman who was left out of the birthday bonus as her birthday was on 29 Feb., I hope she found a better environment and the letter writer realised how absurd they were being!

    1. Scout Finch*

      I think there was at least one update on the Feb 29th birthday letter. Long story short, LW doubled down on their position. I am sure someone else can find the update link.

      1. Dream Jobbed*

        Just reread both the original and the update. LW was certainly a jerk.

        As was the company for violating all sorts of child labor laws if they truly believed the employee only had a birthday every fours years. :D

  12. QuinleyThorne*

    Whenever this comes up I can never think of any letter other than Duck Club. I know that got an update where the CEO was apparently like “Ohhh these horny youngsters. Ah, to be young again! Oh well, ‘Quack Quack!’ lol” and they just left it at that and decided to not worry anymore about it. I think about that letter all the time.

  13. exhausted editor*

    Considering the timing, I’d love to find out what happened to the speechwriter who wasn’t very talented (according to her boss) and her boss. Do they perchance have new jobs starting soon? Did she stay in the field, or find something else adjacent?

  14. Loves libraries*

    I would love an update from the hospital supervisor whose male employees were growing beards so they wouldn’t have to work with Covid patients because the PPE wouldn’t fit.

  15. NowWhat?465*

    I’d love an update on the HR that sent some out of touch advice for working parents, including giving kids paperwork to file.

  16. Zona the Great*

    I’d still like an update (another one) from the woman who called her boss’s daughter a whore or a slut for dating or kissing. She sent in a update saying she learned so much but doubled down on some bigotry. I’d love to know if she continued to grow.

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